Whimsyshire

Alpha Dog

Bannuk appeared at the doorway, and ducked inside. Looking down he noticed the fainted purple mare, and looked up to the princess. A guilty look crossed his face, followed by a sheepish smile.

"Please tell me I'm not the cause of this." Bannuk said with pleading eyes.

"You did." Ayida stated simply.

"Well, that makes twenty two then..." Bannuk sighed, shaking his head.

"What..." Celestia stated, more than asked.

"When I jail broke Luna's guards a number of them kind of fainted. One or two may have been knocked out from debris, but I didn't stick around to check. Luna is looking after them though." Bannuk explained, then nudged Twilight with his foot.

"I'm not doing anything about this by the way." Bannuk stated, glancing up at Celestia.

"You can't just leave her there though, you have to do something about it." Came Rarity's voice from the doorway, who was peeking inside to the fainted form of her friend.

"You wish, I have, um... Ancients damn it whats the word... Tip of my tongue..." Bannuk searched for the word he was looking for, glancing over to Ayida who merely shrugged, for she was even more unfamiliar with diplomacy than he was.

"Are you claiming diplomatic immunity?" Celestia asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah that one!" Bannuk said pointing a finger at Celestia.

"Where on sanctuary did you hear that from?" Asked Ayida, confused on how the Barbarian had heard a word she had not.

"Bah, emissaries were always snooping on land they didn't belong on. Always claimed that, but they had no agreement with our people other than the one where they died if they got near Mount Arreat." Bannuk spat on the ground, thinking back on the memory.

Rarity seemed to turn a little green at the gesture the Barbarian had made. She was impressed by their strength and all, but she did not like the mannerisms of the two 'ruffians', and she found it most unbecoming of a king to act as such, even if he were a king of dogs.

"Well, now. About that treaty Celestia." Bannuk started meekly.

"You don't know how to write, I know." Celestia said with a smile that did not tease or taunt, but understood.

"Well, I can seal it in the way my people seal a deal." Bannuk said, with a grin on his face. He was not used to people showing understanding when confronted with his illiteracy. He tried to act wise, despite his brashness at times, and this led people to assume he was 'civilized' for fighting his peoples primal urges towards violence to an extent. By no means did he not slaughter what stood in his way, but he would at least come up with a plan before rushing headlong into the fray of battle, and this led him to a long life as a warrior.

The Barbarian drew a dagger in his right hand as he approached the table and Celestia was too taken aback by the sudden appearance of the weapon to act. But Bannuk did not go for the princess with his dagger, he drew the blade across the palm and sheathed the dagger. Then the Barbarian rubbed his right thumb into the wound, covering it in blood. The other girls had filed into the library, and Twilight had gotten over her 'incident' and they all watched wide eyed as Bannuk pressed the bloodied thumb onto the treaty, signing it with his own bloody thumb print.

"An oath signed in blood, holds more weight than one signed in ink." Bannuk smiled at the queasy ponies.

Celestia was the quickest to recover from the sight of Bannuk cutting himself. She grabbed her napkin from off the table with her magic and levitated it up to the Barbarian.

"Here, wouldn't want you bleeding everywhere." Celestia said with a warm smile. Bannuk only chuckled at this and instead of taking the cloth napkin, raised his right hand and opened it revealing the palm.

For what seemed like the hundredth time today, Celestia was left speechless. All the girls gaped at what they saw, for no wound was there anymore. Only the smear of blood where he pressed his thumb in the wound gave evidence to his injury. Celestia had a sickening revelation at seeing this. There is all of the possibility that what Ayida said was one hundred percent true, Bannuk alone could probably have slaughtered armies of demons. She had a small amount of doubt before, but now it was crushed.

Celestia glanced over at Ayida who gave a knowing smile, and nodded. 'She has the same ability to heal herself as well.' Thought Celestia

"Well, if the diplomatic duties are done, I'm going to go admire my statue. Also I'm going to tell them to find a safe place to put my treasure. Not sure what I'm going to do with he gems though, since they lack magical qualities." Bannuk said making his way to the door.

Rarity's eyes grew wide, "Those gems you had in your bag were magical? Is that why they radiated like they did?"

"Yes, got an eye for gems do you?" The Barbarian asked, hoping to have a source to trade his 'useless' gems to.

"Well, I use them in my work. Also it is my special talent, couldn't you tell from my cutie mark?" Rarity said, turning herself to show the side of her flank to Bannuk.

"What...? Are those tattoos to show your occupation?" Inquired a confused Barbarian. He had noticed each of the ponies having the marks, but had paid little attention to it, war paints being common among his people.

"Y'all don't know what cutie marks are? Don't ya' have one? Gosh mah' sister would go crazy..." Applejack said, lifting the back of Bannuk's loincloth with a hoof, and seeing the bare behind, let it drop back down.

"Don't do that." Said a blushing Barbarian. Ayida could only cover her face, talking ponies she could handle, but the giant muscular white rump of her friend, that was pushing the limits. Ayida, like many others of the party that hunted the evils looked up to Bannuk as an older brother. And seeing her older brother's bare ass was not something she had wanted.

"Don't do what?" Asked a confused Applejack, had she accidentally done something offensive to his culture?

"Well, where I am from, clothes are for modesty's sake." Explained Bannuk.

"But were all naked! Doesn't bother us." Explained a bouncing pink pony.

"Not exactly the same..." Bannuk tried to explain, finally getting his blush under control.

"Is it something to do with your biological structure?" Asked a well red purple mare.

"My what?" Returned a confused Bannuk.

Twilight sighed, "Are you hiding something on your body with clothing." Explained Twilight.

"Ah, yes actually." Bannuk said, happy for Twilight 'dumbing' down her previous question.

"Well what ya'll got hiding under there?" Said a curious Applejack, reaching up again for the loincloth.

Bannuk was too quick for her, leaping backwards at a speed that was surprising for his bulk. But, he was no match for the pink party ponies ability to do what she wanted.

"Gotcha!" yelled the pink mare as she grabbed his loincloth with her hooves form behind him, and yanked down, and trotted over to join where her friends were standing then looked back to Bannuk.

Almost every mare in the room fainted, pinkie included. Only Celestia and Shining were left conscious. Ayida hard thrown her arms in the air and yelled obscenities as she turned and left the room, into the kitchen, cursing the spirits for her luck the entire way. Bannuk simply turned a shade of red that would challenge Big Macintosh, then pulled his loincloth back up.

Celestia coughed into her hoof, trying to regain her composure. Never before had a diplomatic meeting gone this awry.

"So, it's um... always out?" Celestia asked.

Bannuk nodded his head. The embarrassment starting to fade.

"So, I guess that makes twenty eight... Counting Twilight twice..." Bannuk said with a sheepish grin, trying to lighten the mood.

Bannuk looked over the construction of his new city clad once more in The Immortal King's Legacy, glad to be rid of those ponies for a little while. Not that he minded them, but he wanted things to blow over before he went back to Ponyville. In all his years he had not been embarrassed as much as he was in that library. He couldn't even blame Shining for trying to strangle him for being 'exposed to his little sister'.

Rover approached the Barbarian with a few strange Diamond Dogs Bannuk had not seen before.

"You were right Rover, he's massive... He looks like he could storm the gates of Canterlot all by himself." Spoke one of the strange dogs.

"Are these the alphas of the neighboring packs?" Asked Bannuk in a commanding voice.

"Yes my king." Rover said as he bowed.

"We came to test your might, but we have seen the pile of Changeling corpses. We wish only to know what our terms of fealty are to you..." Said one of the alphas. All three of the neighboring alphas came looking for a fight, but their blood lust was gone the moment they saw the demolished army at the edge of the woods. Now they only wanted to strike a fair deal, hoping not to become slaves of this 'war god'.

"You will build a city above the ground, and you will obey any treaties and promises I make to other countries." Bannuk said simply.

"Above ground?! What about the Griffons?" Exclaimed one of the alphas.

"And what of taxes, Royalty always claims a right to those." Exclaimed another.

Bannuk smashed a greaved foot upon the ground, cracking the ground he stood on, and causing the dogs to fall silent.

"There will be no tax, only a call to arms in times of war. And as for the Griffons, I have had a treaty written up and sent to them, courtesy of my adviser Ayida." Bannuk said gesturing with a thumb over to the Witch Doctor who sat in the shade of a tree meditating.

"What kind of treaty?" Asked the lat alpha.

"One that states, if they trespass onto my lands with ill intents, they will be slaughtered." Bannuk said with a wicked grin.

Fifteen Minutes Ago

"Hey look, the dogs are building above the ground!" squawked a surprised Griffon flying above the clouds to his nine companions.

"Heh, why don't we remind them why they have stayed underground for so long." said another.

As soon as the Griffons drew their weapons and swooped down to an altitude of twenty feet, they were met with flying axes. Five of them fell immediately, then three were taken out by a cluster of harpoons connected to chains, and were dragged into a hulking black figure. The ninth was hit with an exploding skull and burst into flames. The last Griffon, seeing his entire squad taken down in a matter of seconds turned in the air to fly away, but the black clad figure leaped to the impossible height of where the Griffon was, and grabbed him.

On the ground and restrained, the Griffon got a better sight of the monster that had grabbed him, it wore black armor that radiated power, and it held a dagger. The Griffon tried to move but the smaller figure that had thrown the exploding skull was holding him in place with some kind of magic. He could tell because she was holding a doll to the ground that had one of his feathers stuck in it.

Bannuk then carved a message into the bird, ignoring the screams of agony as he sliced into its chest his treaty with the Griffons. As he finished, he nodded to Ayida, who cast a hex that would keep the Griffon alive until he reached his goal, and make sure he took no pit stops along the way.

As the 'zombified' Griffon flew off in the direction of his king, Bannuk could only smile that he had found a way to send the letter so soon. On the Griffons chest was the message for the Griffon champion.

"Stay off my dogs' land or else. -The Immortal King" The message read.