gotta save womenby Raw CringeChaptersgotta save women fastTHE SEQUEL: "gotta save women 2: the ultimate save"THE TRILOGY, NOW IN HARDBACK: "gotta save women 3: gotta save mommy"gotta save women fastI went to bed last night and I was scared. I was scared for women. When I got into the sleep zone I saw a sight of women being corrupted. It was frightening and I cried. I have never seen a more demonic sight than these corrupted women and I prayed for God to uncorrupt all the corrupted women and to give these women a special shield that would surround them at all times to ward off the corruption for the future. As I prayed, the dove came to me and gave me a scroll. On the scroll was a movie. I looked closely at the movie and then I was drawn into it. (The movie was Equestria.) Wheeee! In Equestria, I entered the treehouse of Twilight Sparkle. All the six ponies were there, and Spike too. They knew about the threat to women. The corruption that came from the Devil. They were already working on it. "Where is the Devil?" I asked. "I want to punch him until he stops corrupting women!" Twilight Sparkle read from a book she had in her magic. "Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousand-and-sixth year, the stars will aid in the Devil's escape from Hell, and he will bring about eternal corruption of women." A gasp filled the room. "The longest day of the thousand-and-sixth year? Why, that's..." Applejack counted on her rustic hooves, "today!" Rainbow Dash leapt into the air with a wingburst. "Looks like we've," she said as she rallied her air, "gotta save women fast!" "A portentous outing for such an insoluble day. Simply effervescent!" said Rarity, with a scarf. Fluttershy hopped around like a bunny. "We can do it! We can do it! Oh... um... I mean, we can do it, can't we, Pinkie?" "You bet, Fluttershy!" said Pinkie. "We can't just let women get eternally corrupted by the Devil! After all, women make pies. And I love pies... especially me! Heeheehee!" Pinkie rolled on the floor like a little puppy, laughing. "What do you want me to do, Twilight? Should I come with you?" Spike was eager for an order. "Hmm... This adventure will be dangerous, Spike. I'd feel better if you stayed here and looked after the library. You're just a baby dragon, after all; no matter how tough you are, you're no match for the morning star who fell like lightning from Heaven and has spent the last half-eternity in the sulfurous pit where their worm does not die nor does their flame go out, whose exit is locked by an adamantine door guarded by seventy seraphim." Spike looked disappointed. As I listened, my burning resolve to punch the Devil right in his fat evil face grew ever stronger. After all, these ponies maybe had not thought about it, but I am a restless thinker so I had... they were women too. There was no way I was going to let them get eternally corrupted. "All right, girls," said Twilight Sparkle, closing her book. "This will be a long and difficult adventure. We should have some tea and sandwiches before we leave." "Yeah!" We finished the last of our tea, and prepared to leave. Twilight gave Spike a little kiss as he started to wash the dishes. As the front door of the Ponyville library was thrown open, the sunlight fell on my face, warm and majestic, and there was a light moist breeze from the lake. The smells of summer were in the air, smells of pears, cherries, oak, rhododendron, tobacco, and fresh cut grass. The brazen shouts of fillies and colts wrestling in the distance carried over the rolling hills, punctuating the purring of wooden cart wheels rolling over stone walkways and the busy chatter of gossip and commerce and summer romance. I bethought myself of the immensity of my task, and steeled my resolve. If anything was worth defending from the corruption of the Devil, it was the women of Ponyville. The ponies wore their Elements of Harmony. As we were about to depart, a novel stench filled the air: the odor of mushrooms. It was a scent I knew all too well. "Whoa, who ripped that one?" asked Rainbow Dash, plugging her nose with her hooves. "Whoever it was, that wasn't funny! I'm getting dizzy over here..." Her floating grew erratic, and I watched helplessly as she circled around and around before crashing to the ground. I looked back at the other five ponies. They were all crumbled down, choking and gagging, doubled over, nearly crying; their sensitive pony noses were being assaulted and overpowered by the noxious smell which grew stronger by the second. I suddenly burst out in rage. "Damn you, Lucifer! This isn't fair, hurting innocent women! Come out and fight me like a man!" The ground beneath the Ponyville square began to rumble, then started to crack. Glowing embers and visible fumes poured from the crevasses. The ponies in the square dropped their carts, abandoned their stalls, grabbed up their foals, and fled for the hills. In a great gout of filthy hot spew, the Devil himself erupted forth from the bowels of death that lay beneath the Earth's crust. He had pasty white pig skin on his back, with filthy sweat-pearled hair clumps. Tiny glistening scales covered his chest, and he had his ribs on the outside. His legs were bears' legs, and his arms were the arms of lions. He had wings, too, wings that sliced the air with a sharp hooking motion so malevolent that I could hear the sky cry out in pain. But his face was the most striking part of him: his face was a mushroom. And he had no eyes, but a tiny mouth, deep as Hell itself, lined with thousands of vicious little teethies that spiraled endlessly down. The Devil immediately looked around and found me. He growled with a preternatural malice. "Ah, my old foe. Caught... wind... of my plans, I see?" "Shut up!" I yelled, as I heard the cries of the ponies behind me. "You're responsible for all this pain, and now you've escaped from Hell to try to corrupt all women eternally!" The Devil laughed. "Yes, and you're going to stop me? Just try it." He glanced at Rainbow Dash, who had by now passed out, and without warning flung a filthy ball of corruption right at her. "NO!" I yelled, and strained to jump in front of the ball of corruption. I barely got there in time to stop the Devil from eternally corrupting Rainbow Dash. But now I was covered in the corruption. "Ha, ha, ha!" said the Devil, his little mushroom teeth wriggling furiously. "Now you will be the first to be corrupted. You can sit by my side and watch as I corrupt all the women in the world, one by one! Ha, ha, ha!" I looked down, at the corruption that was oozing into my skin and would soon be inside my soul, and started to cry. My spirit was broken. I couldn't bear the thought of all those little fillies, whose laughter only minutes before had filled up the summer breeze, being eternally corrupted by the Devil. But then in the deep part of my heart, I heard a sound I recognized. I heard the coo, and I felt the dove fluttering his wings. Suddenly I was filled with confidence and my whole body felt lighter, because I knew what I had to do. "You haven't won yet, Lucifer!" I shouted defiantly. "You've overlooked something. Your corruption won't work on me..." The Devil was taken aback. "Oh? And why not?" "BECAUSE I'M NOT A WOMAN!" As I yelled this, I leaped forward as fast as I could. I got right up to the Devil, and I punched him with all my might, right in his fat, stupid, ugly, evil, mushroom face. "Aaaaooooohhhwwwww!" the Devil shrieked. "How could this happen to meeeeeee?!" The punch I gave the Devil was so hard that it sent him straight back down into Hell, where the seraphim bound him once more, to hold him fast until the Judgment Day. As the Devil was thrown down from Ponyville, all the damage he had caused was repaired. The corruption vanished, and the smell of mushrooms lingered no longer in the air. The ponies were jumping and smiling for joy. Then they all gave me a big hug, even Fluttershy, and thanked me for saving them from the corruption of the Devil. There were tears of relief, and laughter filled the air once more. Then Twilight Sparkle said, "I think an event this stupendous calls for tea and sandwiches!" "Yeah!" Author's Note Please feel free to share your own stories of fighting with the Devil in the comments! THE SEQUEL: "gotta save women 2: the ultimate save"Author's Note This was intended to be a stand alone story but the Story Approver ruled that it should be included with the original as a chapter update instead. Just think of it as a totally different story in a package deal with the first, because it is in no way an extension of the original story. THE SEQUEL: "gotta save women 2: the ultimate save" I woke up and I was scared. I was scared for my ponies. But then they were all there. In my toybox. I had Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack (no hat though), Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and two Fluttershys cause I got one for my birthday after I already had a different one. The second Fluttershy had some glitter wings and sometimes I would be moved by the beauty of her wings and tricolor hair. In those days I would say a prayer to her to take me onto those wings and lift me up into the clouds where there is no sweating anymore. We would sing together with birds and lightning and pound out the sweet raindrops that would nourish beautiful delicate flowers blooming in wormdirt made from roadkill skunks. One day I think I overdid the feelings. I couldn't concentrate. I had the blue feeling of suffocating, I felt my ribs squeeze my heart and I held Fluttershy to my heart. I was on the floor on my side, writhing just a bit. The walls were all gone and the world was too wide open and I was all alone and dizzy, and I cried because I wanted Fluttershy to be my friend so I wouldn't be all alone. The sun suddenly became very bright through my window. It was beautiful at first. But it got hot and then I actually got hurt by it. The sun kept getting brighter and descending towards my room. I had to look away because the sun was too bright. My bed exploded into fire because of the heat, and before I knew it the fire had me surrounded. There was smoke and fire and it was so hot. I held Fluttershy to my heart because I didn't know what else to do. I was crying and I was so lonely and the light was so bright and it was hot. * * * * * When the fire died down, I was in some woods on a mushroom. The sun was a normal brightness. I heard a voice singing and I ran towards it. It was Fluttershy who was singing! She was singing to her animals. When she saw me she became excited. "Oh, uhm, hello! What kind of animal are you?" she said, shyly. "I am a human boy," I said. "Wow!" she said. "This is new... Uhm, will you please be a dear and wait here while I tend to the other animals?" She gave me a rub between the ears. It felt nice. While I sat down on the spot and waited, I started thinking. I thought it was strange to see Fluttershy being real and alive. She was always a doll before. I wondered if the doll had come to life because of my wishing, or if it was some other kind of magic or maybe science that did it. Either way, Fluttershy's joints really pivoted now, her wings really flapped, and her voice really carried a tune. This was new. I had to watch her moving carefully so I could see if it was just somebody in a pony suit flying around pretending to be Fluttershy. Best I could tell though she was for real. Eventually she finished up. Then she settled down in front of me. She sized me up. "Why don't you come inside, sweetie?" Fluttershy said. "We'll get you washed up and fed, and try to figure out what you are." I was a little confused. "I said I'm a human boy." "Now, now. Don't growl," she said. "Don't you know that's not nice? You'll scare the others!" She flapped up and started giving me a back rub. It felt nice. I didn't know what else to do, so I went along with it. Soon enough we got into Fluttershy's cozy little forest house. I had an opportunity to caress her crest and withers and I took it. The hair was bristly and smelled a bit. Fluttershy was very affectionate with me. She gave me a bath and scrubbed me all over. I hadn't realized how dirty I was before then: a lot of dark black soot was all over my hair and even my body. I blushed at first but I got used to it. After drying me off she started looking through a few books. "Uhm, let's see... you're definitely a mammal, maybe some kind of chimp?" "I'm a human," I said. "Oh my, how inconsiderate of me! You must be starving," she said. "Here..." She flew upstairs. When Fluttershy came back down she had her hooves full of bananas. * * * * * "Hi, Fluttershy!" said Twilight Sparkle, peeking in the doorway. "Angel said you needed my help?" "Oh, yes, Twilight. Please come in." Twilight wiped her hooves off and stepped through the door. I was wearing a towel because I didn't have anything clean to wear. "Do you know what this animal is?" Fluttershy asked meekly. "I found the poor thing in the woods, covered in garbage." "Hmm..." said Twilight Sparkle. "Let me have a look at him." She walked deliberately over toward where I was sitting on the floor. I had to look up at her as she looked down at me. I watched the heave of her chest as she breathed and the twitching of muscles beneath her skin. It was still strange that my dolls were alive now, but I was getting used to it. "Hey there little guy," Twilight said cheerfully. "Mind if I check you out?" Somehow my towel lifted itself off from around my waist, so that I was completely exposed. Then I began to float. It was very frightening, and felt deeply wrong. I felt a cold chill in the deep part of my heart. It paralyzed me and I had to try hard just to keep breathing. Frightened like that, I spun around in the air for a bit, disoriented. Then what I saw made it even scarier: there was an invisible sparkling glow surrounding Twilight. And I saw with the eyes of my soul that she was the one doing the magic, and that she was controlling me. In an instant, all of the cruel, grotesque deformity of the situation flashed before my mind. Dolls—playing with me! A perfect inversion of the natural order established by God at creation. A deep cosmic horror at once penetrated the marrow of my bones and my mouth became dry. In that instant, I knew with a cold horrible certainty that my dolls were not really alive. Only... only devils could be responsible for such a sinful thing. And my beloved dolls were being possessed by devils, and—and—and I had to save them. I looked into Twilight's eyes, and nearly cried because I knew that the life I saw in them was only a demonic illusion. But I had to save her, so I struggled against her magic. She broke her spell and backed up a little. "Whoa, there, little guy! Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you..." I couldn't take it any more. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. So I shouted, "Go back to hell, you devil!" Then I punched Twilight Sparkle in her beautiful face with all my might. She collapsed immediately. The devil had stopped possessing her. I looked down at Twilight, and then I looked around and saw Fluttershy. She was standing on the floor, too stunned to move. I started hobbling towards her. I had to save her, too. "Don't worry, Fluttershy," I said. "I won't let the devil controlling your body defile you any longer. All this sinfulness will be over soon." Fluttershy gave a cry. She tried to pull out her wings and fly away, but they would not come uncoupled from her side. I saw that the devil in her was terrified, and I watched her make a break for the stairs. I ran to stop her from getting away, but the rabbit leaped into my face and starting biting my nose and cheeks, and I heard her hooves pounding the stairs. With a holy rage, I forced the rabbit off my face. Then I hurled him bodily through the nearest window. I didn't know if he was an ordinary rabbit or if he was possessed by a demon too and needed to be saved. But I wanted to save Fluttershy most of all, so I ran up the stairs. The door was locked, but I kicked it in. I didn't see Fluttershy. I thought she got away through her window, but then I heard a whimper and I knew she was hiding under her bed. In a flash I grabbed her hind legs and dragged her up onto her bed. She looked at me, and she was crying and begging. "Please, Mister Chimp, I'm sorry! I don't know what we did, if we made you angry, whatever it was I'm so, so sorry, please don't hurt me! Please!" I was moved by her appeal, and, and her flesh was very soft and warm and cuddly. And I loved the feel of it, and I loved the smell. And I loved, loved, loved the sound of her voice. The feeling of her breath on my neck sent chills up my spine. I had dreamed of feeling that breath on my neck for years. And in a flash I wondered... couldn't I just forget what I knew? That she was a doll, possessed by a demon—couldn't I just overlook it? And start a new life here, with Fluttershy, and not be lonely any more? But as soon as the thought entered my mind, I was overcome with a violent revulsion. Conspiring with demons to defile the woman I loved most in the world! The shamefulness of the temptation, no doubt also demonic, redoubled my anger and resolve. So I put my fingers around my doll's neck, and with a cold righteous anger, over several minutes, I strangled the demon out of her. * * * * * After I had saved Fluttershy, I rested a while. I ate some bananas and drank some tea. But then I realized my other dolls might be possessed too. So I dressed myself in my old dirty clothes, put on my shoes, and strode out the front door of Fluttershy's cottage, ready to do God's work. THE TRILOGY, NOW IN HARDBACK: "gotta save women 3: gotta save mommy"I got a phone call and I was scared. I was scared for my mommy. "Your mother's in the hospital," said the voice on the phone. I dropped everything I was doing and went to go see her. She is my mommy after all. When I got there to see her she was so sick and I felt like crying but I knew I had to be strong for her. Like a strong man, I had to be big and tough with muscles of comfort, because my mommy was a frail and delicate woman and she was all alone since dad passed away. My poor little mommy laid there on the hospital bed, weak and pathetic, while Friends played on the television. Near the floor I could see a bag which was obviously attached to a catheter. She was very skinny and looked frazzled with the crazy eyes. I walked up to my mommy and petted her face. We locked eyes and I couldn't look away. "That man beat me up," she whimpered. "He took my car and left me for two days starving and when he got back I got mad at him and he broke my rib and beat me until I was crumpled on the floor crying and begging him to stop, and he just laughed at me." I closed my eyes and controlled my emotions. I knew that too much anger or sadness would let the Devil into my soul. I didn't say anything right away but I took my mommy's hand and held it in mine and felt the spiritual waves flow off of her. I felt the spiritual residue of the violent man, and it felt like an arsonist's fire, burning in secret until it could explode. "I'm scared of him," she said, with a wild and paranoid expression. "I'm scared he'll come after me. His ex works in this hospital." I felt the muscles on my fists contract. Courage spilled into my chest, swelling my torso up until I was a man. I knew that, whatever else happened, I had to protect my mommy. Very steadily and manfully, I leaned down and gave my mommy a kiss. Then I began disconnecting her IV, heart monitor, catheter etc. "You don't have to worry any more, Mom," I said. "I'm going to take you to a place where no one can hurt you. Ever." She was confused, but had not the strength to resist. Gently, carefully, I lifted her out of her hospital bed, cradling her in my arms. "We're going to Equestria." The hospital staff, alerted by the medical machines which were now signalling a malfunction, spilled quickly into the room. But before they could make a move to stop me, I changed the channel to Discovery Family, and quickly jumped inside the television, carrying my mommy with me. As I jumped, I shouted, "Equestria!" Carrying my mom so bravely away from danger like that, I felt like a real tough and muscled man, maybe even Superman. We landed in Equestria, in my usual landing place. I have a small house there inside a toadstool and that's where I like to land when I go there. I carried my mommy into my house and laid her tenderly down on my bed. "This is a safe place, far away from everything," I said. "You can stay here until you get better, as long as you need. I'll take care of you. There's only one catch: We need to travel back to Earth once a week so the magical air doesn't turn us into ponies." "Okay," she said, wide-eyed. "Thank you. So much." She got comfortable on the bed and rolled over for a nap. I kissed her goodnight and went out to tell my pony friends that I was here and that I brought my mommy this time. I wanted her to meet my friends and make friends with them herself. I knew that if she made some good friends she wouldn't need those bad old friends, like that violent man, bad friends who had gotten her into this mess in the first place and now wouldn't even bother to help her out of it. Some friends! What a bunch of trashy, no-good people! I met up with two of my pony friends at the Café Hay, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. I had a crush on Pinkie Pie but I couldn't admit it to anyone yet. "Nice t' see ya again, buddy," said Applejack. "What brings you to town this time o' year? Don't you have some human holidays to be celebrating?" "Here," interrupted Pinkie Pie, as she handed me an uninflated balloon. "What's this for?" "You look like you're worried about something," she said, looking me straight in the eye. "Whenever I'm worried, I like to blow my worries into a balloon, and watch it drift away on the wind." I smiled despite myself, and pocketed the balloon. "Thank you, Pinkie. I'll give that a try later. The truth is, I am worried, and that's why I asked you two here today." I told them all about my mommy. I told them all her troubles and problems, and why I brought her here, to help her mind and body heal and to make some better friends. After I explained to them what was going on, they offered their support and help. Then we had a good meal together, and caught up with each other on lots of other things that had happened. It was a fun time and I was glad I had such close friends as Applejack and Pinkie Pie. After the meal, I headed back to my toadstool house. In my bedroom, my mommy was crying, hugging her knees. She quickly looked at me, and hid her face again. "I don't want to go back to that," she moaned. "I don't want to go back to him, and I don't want to use again. Not after what happened. Never. Never never never." I felt the manly muscles pulse under my skin again. I sat down next to her. "You don't have to," I said. "You'll do better when we go back. You'll make better friends, and better choices." "Yeah," she sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder. "Yeah." A moment passed in silence. "I'm starving," she said. "Got anything to eat?" So I fed her snacks and cooked dinner. The rest of the night was quiet. The next five days passed quietly as well. I was calm and tough, a steady rock, a man like my mommy needed me to be. Whenever she would cry or complain, I would be calm and control my emotions. Then I would give her my best "wise" advice that I could manage and I even thought I could see some of the thoughts I shared with her start to make her own mind change, bit by bit. And besides sharing my thoughts, I shared with my mommy the beauty of Equestria. I took her on walks, pushing her in her wheelchair, through the idyllic natural scenes that even I had begun to take for granted. We spent one entire afternoon together watching the pegasi arrange the clouds for the evening's downpour. Another day, on an early morning when we both happened to be awake, on a spur of the moment we went to Sugarcube Corner to see how the donuts were made, and we even got to taste them fresh out of the fryer. During the whole week we were together, my mommy ate—no pun intended—like a horse. I was glad to see her eat like that, because she was very dangerously skinny and I thought it was a great sign for her to be eating like that. I even felt good about spending so much extra money on her, because that was a manly thing to do. On the evening of the sixth day, as my mommy and I sat on the front porch of the toadstool house watching the stars rise, I felt in my pocket and remembered the balloon Pinkie Pie had given me. I liked holding on to the balloon, because it was a gift from Pinkie to me. But I had a thought that could make it even better. "Hey, Mom," I said, holding up the balloon. "Check it out." "Hmm?" "This balloon was a gift from Pinkie Pie. I thought you should have it, to celebrate your new life from now on. All you have to do is blow all your worries into it, tie it off, and watch your worries drift away on the wind." My mommy smiled. "Aww, that's sweet. Here." She held out her hand, and I dropped the balloon into it. She closed her eyes, wincing hard, as if to concentrate on all her worries. With her eyes still closed, she brought the balloon to her lips. One breath. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Her hands shook, and I could see she was having trouble tying off the balloon. I reached in to help. Once I had tied the balloon off, I handed it back to her. She let it go, and it floated slowly upward, a receding spot of red rubber fading ever further away in the darkness against the glorious backdrop of the heavens. Then, my mommy turned to me, and there was a sparkle in her eyes. "Thank you so much," she said. "For everything. Thank you..." I hugged her, and we watched the stars in silence. On the seventh morning, I woke my mommy up. "We have to go back to Earth now," I said. "Just for a minute, at least. We can come right back here." "Okay," she said. "I want to come right back. It's great here. No one here wants to make me feel worthless, or use and abuse me." "I'm glad you feel that way," I said. "Now, when we jump back to Earth, all you have to do is think about the place you call home, and you'll end up there. So, basically, you'll think about your house. I have to pay rent on my Earth apartment today, so I'll think about my place. But then I'll come right over and meet you back at your place. It shouldn't take more than half an hour. Is that okay?" "Yeah," said my mommy. "That'll be fine. Thank you so much." I picked my mommy up in my arms, cradling her once again, and tapped my heels together three times. "There's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place like home..." As expected, I got home, and my arms were empty. I went to the apartment office and paid the rent, then went back inside my pad. I picked up my cellphone and dialed my mommy's number. I got no response. "Hmm," I thought. "She must have it on silent or something." So I hopped on my bicycle and rode the two miles to my mommy's house. My mommy wasn't in her house. I had no idea where she could be, so I blew up her phone with texts and calls. I jumped back into Equestria for a few moments, in case she had somehow failed to make the jump, but she wasn't there either. I was defeated, and startled, and very, very worried. I wondered if the Devil had gotten ahold of my mommy...! But since I didn't know where she was, I had no choice but to go home. Three days later, I finally got through to my mommy's phone. A man's voice answered it. I asked to talk my mommy. "She's not here," was all he said. I hung up the phone and sat on my butt, dumbstruck by the only explanation I could think of. After an hour or so of silence, I finally realized the truth. "What a dumb bitch," I said out loud. "Oh well. She sure made it easy for me... One less idiot to worry about." I locked my door, turned off my cellphone, and went to bed and had a great night's sleep. I dreamed about getting a blowjob from a cheerleader. Shit was cash.
gotta save women fastI went to bed last night and I was scared. I was scared for women. When I got into the sleep zone I saw a sight of women being corrupted. It was frightening and I cried. I have never seen a more demonic sight than these corrupted women and I prayed for God to uncorrupt all the corrupted women and to give these women a special shield that would surround them at all times to ward off the corruption for the future. As I prayed, the dove came to me and gave me a scroll. On the scroll was a movie. I looked closely at the movie and then I was drawn into it. (The movie was Equestria.) Wheeee! In Equestria, I entered the treehouse of Twilight Sparkle. All the six ponies were there, and Spike too. They knew about the threat to women. The corruption that came from the Devil. They were already working on it. "Where is the Devil?" I asked. "I want to punch him until he stops corrupting women!" Twilight Sparkle read from a book she had in her magic. "Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousand-and-sixth year, the stars will aid in the Devil's escape from Hell, and he will bring about eternal corruption of women." A gasp filled the room. "The longest day of the thousand-and-sixth year? Why, that's..." Applejack counted on her rustic hooves, "today!" Rainbow Dash leapt into the air with a wingburst. "Looks like we've," she said as she rallied her air, "gotta save women fast!" "A portentous outing for such an insoluble day. Simply effervescent!" said Rarity, with a scarf. Fluttershy hopped around like a bunny. "We can do it! We can do it! Oh... um... I mean, we can do it, can't we, Pinkie?" "You bet, Fluttershy!" said Pinkie. "We can't just let women get eternally corrupted by the Devil! After all, women make pies. And I love pies... especially me! Heeheehee!" Pinkie rolled on the floor like a little puppy, laughing. "What do you want me to do, Twilight? Should I come with you?" Spike was eager for an order. "Hmm... This adventure will be dangerous, Spike. I'd feel better if you stayed here and looked after the library. You're just a baby dragon, after all; no matter how tough you are, you're no match for the morning star who fell like lightning from Heaven and has spent the last half-eternity in the sulfurous pit where their worm does not die nor does their flame go out, whose exit is locked by an adamantine door guarded by seventy seraphim." Spike looked disappointed. As I listened, my burning resolve to punch the Devil right in his fat evil face grew ever stronger. After all, these ponies maybe had not thought about it, but I am a restless thinker so I had... they were women too. There was no way I was going to let them get eternally corrupted. "All right, girls," said Twilight Sparkle, closing her book. "This will be a long and difficult adventure. We should have some tea and sandwiches before we leave." "Yeah!" We finished the last of our tea, and prepared to leave. Twilight gave Spike a little kiss as he started to wash the dishes. As the front door of the Ponyville library was thrown open, the sunlight fell on my face, warm and majestic, and there was a light moist breeze from the lake. The smells of summer were in the air, smells of pears, cherries, oak, rhododendron, tobacco, and fresh cut grass. The brazen shouts of fillies and colts wrestling in the distance carried over the rolling hills, punctuating the purring of wooden cart wheels rolling over stone walkways and the busy chatter of gossip and commerce and summer romance. I bethought myself of the immensity of my task, and steeled my resolve. If anything was worth defending from the corruption of the Devil, it was the women of Ponyville. The ponies wore their Elements of Harmony. As we were about to depart, a novel stench filled the air: the odor of mushrooms. It was a scent I knew all too well. "Whoa, who ripped that one?" asked Rainbow Dash, plugging her nose with her hooves. "Whoever it was, that wasn't funny! I'm getting dizzy over here..." Her floating grew erratic, and I watched helplessly as she circled around and around before crashing to the ground. I looked back at the other five ponies. They were all crumbled down, choking and gagging, doubled over, nearly crying; their sensitive pony noses were being assaulted and overpowered by the noxious smell which grew stronger by the second. I suddenly burst out in rage. "Damn you, Lucifer! This isn't fair, hurting innocent women! Come out and fight me like a man!" The ground beneath the Ponyville square began to rumble, then started to crack. Glowing embers and visible fumes poured from the crevasses. The ponies in the square dropped their carts, abandoned their stalls, grabbed up their foals, and fled for the hills. In a great gout of filthy hot spew, the Devil himself erupted forth from the bowels of death that lay beneath the Earth's crust. He had pasty white pig skin on his back, with filthy sweat-pearled hair clumps. Tiny glistening scales covered his chest, and he had his ribs on the outside. His legs were bears' legs, and his arms were the arms of lions. He had wings, too, wings that sliced the air with a sharp hooking motion so malevolent that I could hear the sky cry out in pain. But his face was the most striking part of him: his face was a mushroom. And he had no eyes, but a tiny mouth, deep as Hell itself, lined with thousands of vicious little teethies that spiraled endlessly down. The Devil immediately looked around and found me. He growled with a preternatural malice. "Ah, my old foe. Caught... wind... of my plans, I see?" "Shut up!" I yelled, as I heard the cries of the ponies behind me. "You're responsible for all this pain, and now you've escaped from Hell to try to corrupt all women eternally!" The Devil laughed. "Yes, and you're going to stop me? Just try it." He glanced at Rainbow Dash, who had by now passed out, and without warning flung a filthy ball of corruption right at her. "NO!" I yelled, and strained to jump in front of the ball of corruption. I barely got there in time to stop the Devil from eternally corrupting Rainbow Dash. But now I was covered in the corruption. "Ha, ha, ha!" said the Devil, his little mushroom teeth wriggling furiously. "Now you will be the first to be corrupted. You can sit by my side and watch as I corrupt all the women in the world, one by one! Ha, ha, ha!" I looked down, at the corruption that was oozing into my skin and would soon be inside my soul, and started to cry. My spirit was broken. I couldn't bear the thought of all those little fillies, whose laughter only minutes before had filled up the summer breeze, being eternally corrupted by the Devil. But then in the deep part of my heart, I heard a sound I recognized. I heard the coo, and I felt the dove fluttering his wings. Suddenly I was filled with confidence and my whole body felt lighter, because I knew what I had to do. "You haven't won yet, Lucifer!" I shouted defiantly. "You've overlooked something. Your corruption won't work on me..." The Devil was taken aback. "Oh? And why not?" "BECAUSE I'M NOT A WOMAN!" As I yelled this, I leaped forward as fast as I could. I got right up to the Devil, and I punched him with all my might, right in his fat, stupid, ugly, evil, mushroom face. "Aaaaooooohhhwwwww!" the Devil shrieked. "How could this happen to meeeeeee?!" The punch I gave the Devil was so hard that it sent him straight back down into Hell, where the seraphim bound him once more, to hold him fast until the Judgment Day. As the Devil was thrown down from Ponyville, all the damage he had caused was repaired. The corruption vanished, and the smell of mushrooms lingered no longer in the air. The ponies were jumping and smiling for joy. Then they all gave me a big hug, even Fluttershy, and thanked me for saving them from the corruption of the Devil. There were tears of relief, and laughter filled the air once more. Then Twilight Sparkle said, "I think an event this stupendous calls for tea and sandwiches!" "Yeah!" Author's Note Please feel free to share your own stories of fighting with the Devil in the comments!
THE SEQUEL: "gotta save women 2: the ultimate save"Author's Note This was intended to be a stand alone story but the Story Approver ruled that it should be included with the original as a chapter update instead. Just think of it as a totally different story in a package deal with the first, because it is in no way an extension of the original story. THE SEQUEL: "gotta save women 2: the ultimate save" I woke up and I was scared. I was scared for my ponies. But then they were all there. In my toybox. I had Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack (no hat though), Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and two Fluttershys cause I got one for my birthday after I already had a different one. The second Fluttershy had some glitter wings and sometimes I would be moved by the beauty of her wings and tricolor hair. In those days I would say a prayer to her to take me onto those wings and lift me up into the clouds where there is no sweating anymore. We would sing together with birds and lightning and pound out the sweet raindrops that would nourish beautiful delicate flowers blooming in wormdirt made from roadkill skunks. One day I think I overdid the feelings. I couldn't concentrate. I had the blue feeling of suffocating, I felt my ribs squeeze my heart and I held Fluttershy to my heart. I was on the floor on my side, writhing just a bit. The walls were all gone and the world was too wide open and I was all alone and dizzy, and I cried because I wanted Fluttershy to be my friend so I wouldn't be all alone. The sun suddenly became very bright through my window. It was beautiful at first. But it got hot and then I actually got hurt by it. The sun kept getting brighter and descending towards my room. I had to look away because the sun was too bright. My bed exploded into fire because of the heat, and before I knew it the fire had me surrounded. There was smoke and fire and it was so hot. I held Fluttershy to my heart because I didn't know what else to do. I was crying and I was so lonely and the light was so bright and it was hot. * * * * * When the fire died down, I was in some woods on a mushroom. The sun was a normal brightness. I heard a voice singing and I ran towards it. It was Fluttershy who was singing! She was singing to her animals. When she saw me she became excited. "Oh, uhm, hello! What kind of animal are you?" she said, shyly. "I am a human boy," I said. "Wow!" she said. "This is new... Uhm, will you please be a dear and wait here while I tend to the other animals?" She gave me a rub between the ears. It felt nice. While I sat down on the spot and waited, I started thinking. I thought it was strange to see Fluttershy being real and alive. She was always a doll before. I wondered if the doll had come to life because of my wishing, or if it was some other kind of magic or maybe science that did it. Either way, Fluttershy's joints really pivoted now, her wings really flapped, and her voice really carried a tune. This was new. I had to watch her moving carefully so I could see if it was just somebody in a pony suit flying around pretending to be Fluttershy. Best I could tell though she was for real. Eventually she finished up. Then she settled down in front of me. She sized me up. "Why don't you come inside, sweetie?" Fluttershy said. "We'll get you washed up and fed, and try to figure out what you are." I was a little confused. "I said I'm a human boy." "Now, now. Don't growl," she said. "Don't you know that's not nice? You'll scare the others!" She flapped up and started giving me a back rub. It felt nice. I didn't know what else to do, so I went along with it. Soon enough we got into Fluttershy's cozy little forest house. I had an opportunity to caress her crest and withers and I took it. The hair was bristly and smelled a bit. Fluttershy was very affectionate with me. She gave me a bath and scrubbed me all over. I hadn't realized how dirty I was before then: a lot of dark black soot was all over my hair and even my body. I blushed at first but I got used to it. After drying me off she started looking through a few books. "Uhm, let's see... you're definitely a mammal, maybe some kind of chimp?" "I'm a human," I said. "Oh my, how inconsiderate of me! You must be starving," she said. "Here..." She flew upstairs. When Fluttershy came back down she had her hooves full of bananas. * * * * * "Hi, Fluttershy!" said Twilight Sparkle, peeking in the doorway. "Angel said you needed my help?" "Oh, yes, Twilight. Please come in." Twilight wiped her hooves off and stepped through the door. I was wearing a towel because I didn't have anything clean to wear. "Do you know what this animal is?" Fluttershy asked meekly. "I found the poor thing in the woods, covered in garbage." "Hmm..." said Twilight Sparkle. "Let me have a look at him." She walked deliberately over toward where I was sitting on the floor. I had to look up at her as she looked down at me. I watched the heave of her chest as she breathed and the twitching of muscles beneath her skin. It was still strange that my dolls were alive now, but I was getting used to it. "Hey there little guy," Twilight said cheerfully. "Mind if I check you out?" Somehow my towel lifted itself off from around my waist, so that I was completely exposed. Then I began to float. It was very frightening, and felt deeply wrong. I felt a cold chill in the deep part of my heart. It paralyzed me and I had to try hard just to keep breathing. Frightened like that, I spun around in the air for a bit, disoriented. Then what I saw made it even scarier: there was an invisible sparkling glow surrounding Twilight. And I saw with the eyes of my soul that she was the one doing the magic, and that she was controlling me. In an instant, all of the cruel, grotesque deformity of the situation flashed before my mind. Dolls—playing with me! A perfect inversion of the natural order established by God at creation. A deep cosmic horror at once penetrated the marrow of my bones and my mouth became dry. In that instant, I knew with a cold horrible certainty that my dolls were not really alive. Only... only devils could be responsible for such a sinful thing. And my beloved dolls were being possessed by devils, and—and—and I had to save them. I looked into Twilight's eyes, and nearly cried because I knew that the life I saw in them was only a demonic illusion. But I had to save her, so I struggled against her magic. She broke her spell and backed up a little. "Whoa, there, little guy! Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you..." I couldn't take it any more. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. So I shouted, "Go back to hell, you devil!" Then I punched Twilight Sparkle in her beautiful face with all my might. She collapsed immediately. The devil had stopped possessing her. I looked down at Twilight, and then I looked around and saw Fluttershy. She was standing on the floor, too stunned to move. I started hobbling towards her. I had to save her, too. "Don't worry, Fluttershy," I said. "I won't let the devil controlling your body defile you any longer. All this sinfulness will be over soon." Fluttershy gave a cry. She tried to pull out her wings and fly away, but they would not come uncoupled from her side. I saw that the devil in her was terrified, and I watched her make a break for the stairs. I ran to stop her from getting away, but the rabbit leaped into my face and starting biting my nose and cheeks, and I heard her hooves pounding the stairs. With a holy rage, I forced the rabbit off my face. Then I hurled him bodily through the nearest window. I didn't know if he was an ordinary rabbit or if he was possessed by a demon too and needed to be saved. But I wanted to save Fluttershy most of all, so I ran up the stairs. The door was locked, but I kicked it in. I didn't see Fluttershy. I thought she got away through her window, but then I heard a whimper and I knew she was hiding under her bed. In a flash I grabbed her hind legs and dragged her up onto her bed. She looked at me, and she was crying and begging. "Please, Mister Chimp, I'm sorry! I don't know what we did, if we made you angry, whatever it was I'm so, so sorry, please don't hurt me! Please!" I was moved by her appeal, and, and her flesh was very soft and warm and cuddly. And I loved the feel of it, and I loved the smell. And I loved, loved, loved the sound of her voice. The feeling of her breath on my neck sent chills up my spine. I had dreamed of feeling that breath on my neck for years. And in a flash I wondered... couldn't I just forget what I knew? That she was a doll, possessed by a demon—couldn't I just overlook it? And start a new life here, with Fluttershy, and not be lonely any more? But as soon as the thought entered my mind, I was overcome with a violent revulsion. Conspiring with demons to defile the woman I loved most in the world! The shamefulness of the temptation, no doubt also demonic, redoubled my anger and resolve. So I put my fingers around my doll's neck, and with a cold righteous anger, over several minutes, I strangled the demon out of her. * * * * * After I had saved Fluttershy, I rested a while. I ate some bananas and drank some tea. But then I realized my other dolls might be possessed too. So I dressed myself in my old dirty clothes, put on my shoes, and strode out the front door of Fluttershy's cottage, ready to do God's work.
THE TRILOGY, NOW IN HARDBACK: "gotta save women 3: gotta save mommy"I got a phone call and I was scared. I was scared for my mommy. "Your mother's in the hospital," said the voice on the phone. I dropped everything I was doing and went to go see her. She is my mommy after all. When I got there to see her she was so sick and I felt like crying but I knew I had to be strong for her. Like a strong man, I had to be big and tough with muscles of comfort, because my mommy was a frail and delicate woman and she was all alone since dad passed away. My poor little mommy laid there on the hospital bed, weak and pathetic, while Friends played on the television. Near the floor I could see a bag which was obviously attached to a catheter. She was very skinny and looked frazzled with the crazy eyes. I walked up to my mommy and petted her face. We locked eyes and I couldn't look away. "That man beat me up," she whimpered. "He took my car and left me for two days starving and when he got back I got mad at him and he broke my rib and beat me until I was crumpled on the floor crying and begging him to stop, and he just laughed at me." I closed my eyes and controlled my emotions. I knew that too much anger or sadness would let the Devil into my soul. I didn't say anything right away but I took my mommy's hand and held it in mine and felt the spiritual waves flow off of her. I felt the spiritual residue of the violent man, and it felt like an arsonist's fire, burning in secret until it could explode. "I'm scared of him," she said, with a wild and paranoid expression. "I'm scared he'll come after me. His ex works in this hospital." I felt the muscles on my fists contract. Courage spilled into my chest, swelling my torso up until I was a man. I knew that, whatever else happened, I had to protect my mommy. Very steadily and manfully, I leaned down and gave my mommy a kiss. Then I began disconnecting her IV, heart monitor, catheter etc. "You don't have to worry any more, Mom," I said. "I'm going to take you to a place where no one can hurt you. Ever." She was confused, but had not the strength to resist. Gently, carefully, I lifted her out of her hospital bed, cradling her in my arms. "We're going to Equestria." The hospital staff, alerted by the medical machines which were now signalling a malfunction, spilled quickly into the room. But before they could make a move to stop me, I changed the channel to Discovery Family, and quickly jumped inside the television, carrying my mommy with me. As I jumped, I shouted, "Equestria!" Carrying my mom so bravely away from danger like that, I felt like a real tough and muscled man, maybe even Superman. We landed in Equestria, in my usual landing place. I have a small house there inside a toadstool and that's where I like to land when I go there. I carried my mommy into my house and laid her tenderly down on my bed. "This is a safe place, far away from everything," I said. "You can stay here until you get better, as long as you need. I'll take care of you. There's only one catch: We need to travel back to Earth once a week so the magical air doesn't turn us into ponies." "Okay," she said, wide-eyed. "Thank you. So much." She got comfortable on the bed and rolled over for a nap. I kissed her goodnight and went out to tell my pony friends that I was here and that I brought my mommy this time. I wanted her to meet my friends and make friends with them herself. I knew that if she made some good friends she wouldn't need those bad old friends, like that violent man, bad friends who had gotten her into this mess in the first place and now wouldn't even bother to help her out of it. Some friends! What a bunch of trashy, no-good people! I met up with two of my pony friends at the Café Hay, Applejack and Pinkie Pie. I had a crush on Pinkie Pie but I couldn't admit it to anyone yet. "Nice t' see ya again, buddy," said Applejack. "What brings you to town this time o' year? Don't you have some human holidays to be celebrating?" "Here," interrupted Pinkie Pie, as she handed me an uninflated balloon. "What's this for?" "You look like you're worried about something," she said, looking me straight in the eye. "Whenever I'm worried, I like to blow my worries into a balloon, and watch it drift away on the wind." I smiled despite myself, and pocketed the balloon. "Thank you, Pinkie. I'll give that a try later. The truth is, I am worried, and that's why I asked you two here today." I told them all about my mommy. I told them all her troubles and problems, and why I brought her here, to help her mind and body heal and to make some better friends. After I explained to them what was going on, they offered their support and help. Then we had a good meal together, and caught up with each other on lots of other things that had happened. It was a fun time and I was glad I had such close friends as Applejack and Pinkie Pie. After the meal, I headed back to my toadstool house. In my bedroom, my mommy was crying, hugging her knees. She quickly looked at me, and hid her face again. "I don't want to go back to that," she moaned. "I don't want to go back to him, and I don't want to use again. Not after what happened. Never. Never never never." I felt the manly muscles pulse under my skin again. I sat down next to her. "You don't have to," I said. "You'll do better when we go back. You'll make better friends, and better choices." "Yeah," she sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder. "Yeah." A moment passed in silence. "I'm starving," she said. "Got anything to eat?" So I fed her snacks and cooked dinner. The rest of the night was quiet. The next five days passed quietly as well. I was calm and tough, a steady rock, a man like my mommy needed me to be. Whenever she would cry or complain, I would be calm and control my emotions. Then I would give her my best "wise" advice that I could manage and I even thought I could see some of the thoughts I shared with her start to make her own mind change, bit by bit. And besides sharing my thoughts, I shared with my mommy the beauty of Equestria. I took her on walks, pushing her in her wheelchair, through the idyllic natural scenes that even I had begun to take for granted. We spent one entire afternoon together watching the pegasi arrange the clouds for the evening's downpour. Another day, on an early morning when we both happened to be awake, on a spur of the moment we went to Sugarcube Corner to see how the donuts were made, and we even got to taste them fresh out of the fryer. During the whole week we were together, my mommy ate—no pun intended—like a horse. I was glad to see her eat like that, because she was very dangerously skinny and I thought it was a great sign for her to be eating like that. I even felt good about spending so much extra money on her, because that was a manly thing to do. On the evening of the sixth day, as my mommy and I sat on the front porch of the toadstool house watching the stars rise, I felt in my pocket and remembered the balloon Pinkie Pie had given me. I liked holding on to the balloon, because it was a gift from Pinkie to me. But I had a thought that could make it even better. "Hey, Mom," I said, holding up the balloon. "Check it out." "Hmm?" "This balloon was a gift from Pinkie Pie. I thought you should have it, to celebrate your new life from now on. All you have to do is blow all your worries into it, tie it off, and watch your worries drift away on the wind." My mommy smiled. "Aww, that's sweet. Here." She held out her hand, and I dropped the balloon into it. She closed her eyes, wincing hard, as if to concentrate on all her worries. With her eyes still closed, she brought the balloon to her lips. One breath. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Her hands shook, and I could see she was having trouble tying off the balloon. I reached in to help. Once I had tied the balloon off, I handed it back to her. She let it go, and it floated slowly upward, a receding spot of red rubber fading ever further away in the darkness against the glorious backdrop of the heavens. Then, my mommy turned to me, and there was a sparkle in her eyes. "Thank you so much," she said. "For everything. Thank you..." I hugged her, and we watched the stars in silence. On the seventh morning, I woke my mommy up. "We have to go back to Earth now," I said. "Just for a minute, at least. We can come right back here." "Okay," she said. "I want to come right back. It's great here. No one here wants to make me feel worthless, or use and abuse me." "I'm glad you feel that way," I said. "Now, when we jump back to Earth, all you have to do is think about the place you call home, and you'll end up there. So, basically, you'll think about your house. I have to pay rent on my Earth apartment today, so I'll think about my place. But then I'll come right over and meet you back at your place. It shouldn't take more than half an hour. Is that okay?" "Yeah," said my mommy. "That'll be fine. Thank you so much." I picked my mommy up in my arms, cradling her once again, and tapped my heels together three times. "There's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place like home..." As expected, I got home, and my arms were empty. I went to the apartment office and paid the rent, then went back inside my pad. I picked up my cellphone and dialed my mommy's number. I got no response. "Hmm," I thought. "She must have it on silent or something." So I hopped on my bicycle and rode the two miles to my mommy's house. My mommy wasn't in her house. I had no idea where she could be, so I blew up her phone with texts and calls. I jumped back into Equestria for a few moments, in case she had somehow failed to make the jump, but she wasn't there either. I was defeated, and startled, and very, very worried. I wondered if the Devil had gotten ahold of my mommy...! But since I didn't know where she was, I had no choice but to go home. Three days later, I finally got through to my mommy's phone. A man's voice answered it. I asked to talk my mommy. "She's not here," was all he said. I hung up the phone and sat on my butt, dumbstruck by the only explanation I could think of. After an hour or so of silence, I finally realized the truth. "What a dumb bitch," I said out loud. "Oh well. She sure made it easy for me... One less idiot to worry about." I locked my door, turned off my cellphone, and went to bed and had a great night's sleep. I dreamed about getting a blowjob from a cheerleader. Shit was cash.
