Applejack Awareness Day
(Recommended for your enjoyment: A song)
She was feeling extremely nervous. Today was the big day, and everything was going exactly as planned. Which worried her immensely.
"Totally unlike me!" She thought. "Ah'm Applejack, the greatest pony ever! Why, them bro... thingies just HAVE ta love me!"
She took a deep breath, and walked onto up the stairs, through the curtains, and burst onto the stage!
"GREETIN'S ONE AND ALL!" She yelled at the top of her voice.
"As y'all know, ah'm APPLEJACK! And today's the day that you bro-things will know just HOW GREAT AND POWERFUL AH AM!"
The audience gave a few mild cheers and claps, before whispering amongst themselves. AJ frowned, but decided the show must go on!
"And to kick off toady, ah have with me here mah friend Rainbow Dash to help out!"
Rainbow Dash begrudgingly walked onto the stage from behind a different curtain, wearing a giant kitten suit, the whole time sulking about wearing said kitten suit.
The crowd went wild with cheers and roars of laughter upon seeing the chrome kitten. Applejack was stressing, because they were laughing their flanks off at Dashie wearing the suit especially chosen by her.
"Ah should've thought ah that!"
"The first act, will be a strength contest!"
The crowd cheered, and AJ smiled in response. She felt great, having her ego stroked... well, like a kitten in somebodies' lap.
The Great and Powerful Trixie rolled a bucking target board onto the stage with a scowl, the target looking just like the one in that episode.
"Rainbow, will you go first, or shall I?" She said slyly.
"AJ, why am I here?" She replied sleepily.
"'Cause we're tryin' to impress the bro-things!"
"You mean the bronies?"
"Yeah! Now make your move!"
Rainbow Dash simply sighed, and walked in front of the target, facing the audience. She pulled her hind legs back, and let fly with all her just-awoken-it's-too-early-in-the-morning-why-did-you-do-this-to-me-AJ might.
The weight shot up, barely reaching the three quarter mark. The crowd cheered, and Rainbow Dash skulked off stage, leering at Applejack as she did so.
"Now then, fillies and gentlecolts, it's mah turn!" She said aggressively.
She rolled up to the target with much more enthusiasm, and bucked the target like Big Macintosh bucked her last night.
The weight flew up the rail, destroyed the target, and went soaring into the air. The bronies roared with delight, recognising the reference. Receiving another ego-stroke and grinning with pure joy, she took a bow before getting the audience to quite down for the next act.
"And now for mah next act... MAGIC!"
The crowd looked extremely confused and stunned. Everyone was asking questions to eachother and nobody could answer.
"Now, ah know I'm not known for mah magic, but lets just say... Ah asked Twilight for a favour!" Removing her Stetson as she did, revealing a purple horn extruding from her head. Bronies everywhere gasped, shocked at the heresy which had taken place sometime before the show.
Meanwhile, Twilight was staring at her mane and sighing. It felt strange, not seeing her horn there. She could only pray into her book that Applejack wasn't using her horn for something ridiculous... like actual magic.
Back at Ponyville Square, Applejack dragged Big Macintosh onto the stage for the second performance. He stood still as a tree while Applejack explained her attempt at magic.
"Now, mah big brother has ever-so-kindly volunteered for this next trick. Ah will attempt to levahtate him with mah magic, and demonstrate the power of the Earth Ponies!"
She turned to her brother.
"Ya ready to begin."
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyup!" He said with a mixture of anticipation and worry, a huge false smile on his face.
The crowd went ballistic, because Big Mac over here was changing up his vocabulary to include emotion.
Applejack concentrated with all her might, squeezing her eyes shut, poking her horn into the air, and standing as still as Big Macintosh.
He was surprised to see the magical horn transplant was working, and before he knew it, he was floating in the air, instantly regretting his divorce with the earth.
Applejack puffed her chest forward, and exerted even more effort into the spell, sending Big Macintosh doing barrel rolls, loop-de-loops, 360-no-scopes, front and back flips, and a whole variety of other stunts.
Sometime during the show, Big Macintosh noticed her flanks, and instantly remembered everything they did last night. In response to this, his 'little member' grew, and made itself known. Big Macintosh came to a halt, with his face almost parallel to the ground, his erection hanging out 'loud and proud', for everyone to see.
The bronies gasped as a whole, showing off teamwork than Anonymous would be proud off. Many people turned away, obviously having never seen a boner in their lives. And the whole time, Big Mac's eyes were transfixed on Applejack's flanks.
Applejack craned her head, and saw the real show going on above her head, his stiffy only centimeters from her horn. She pondered touching it, before realising this was her show, and set "Big" Macintosh down right next to her. He charged off stage, only 'slightly' embarrassed at stealing the show from his sister.
"Uh.. sorry 'bout that!" Applejack laughed nervously over the roaring crowd. "Well, then, how 'bout we move on to the final act?"
Everyone in the crowd wondered what it could be, but after the past two acts, they knew it would be hilarious! They cheered, giving a signal that only Derpy could miss.
"Now, without further ado, I present, the SPEED ACT!"
The crowd went along, and shouted for more. She cleared her throat, and beckoned for her final guest to appear. A pink pony bounced onto the stage, balancing cakes on her back and head, and pulling a table with her tail.
Applejack noticed her cakes, specifically the icing pictures on them. She pulled her ear close, and hissed at her in front of all the bronies.
"Pinkie! What in tarnation are these!?" Motioning towards the cakes, which were being arranged on the table. The cakes in question had pictures of Applejack in a variety of "revealing" positions.
The audience was staring at Applejack with confusion, wondering what could be possibly wrong with a Pinkie Pie culinary creation.
"Well, you told me to put pictures of you on them, so I looked up some doozies on the internet!" She said with her usual attitude.
"But ah didn't ask for these kinda pictures!"
"Oopsie!" She said naively.
"We can't let them see these!" She said, pointing a hoof at the audience, which raised even more questions for them.
"Why not?"
"Because... we just can't!" She stuttered.
"Silly, I'm sure they'll LOVE them!" She said, holding a cake up, while standing on her hind legs, revealing Applejack to the whole crowd. Only some of them gasped, while most just gawked at the cake.
Applejack quickly magicked the cake away from her, and threw it away, landing directly on Trixie, who growled in disgust, before deciding 'enough was enough', and leaping onto the stage and attacking Applejack. Applejack barely noticed her, but didn't manage to dodge her. She crashed right into Applejack's face, nearly impaling her jaw on her horn. They both fired off a spell at eachother at the same time, the two streams of magic colliding in mid air, Harry Potter style.
Applejack quickly won the upper hand, and sent Trixie flying way past the stage, and out of Ponyville. Pinkie watched in awe, oblivious of her horn up until now.
"Ooooh! That looks like Twilight's horn! Where'd ya get it?"
"I uh... borrowed it."
"OOOH! Can I borrow it?!"
"We'll see! We have a show to get on with!"
"Okie dokie Lokie!"
"Eh... sorry guys!" She said to the crowd.
"Without further ado, it's time for the Cake eating contest!"
The cakes were ready, and so was Applejack, ever so eager to get rid of these... monstrosities.
"On yer marks... get set... EAT!" She said, and both of the sunk their heads into a cake at the same time.
"BLEEERGH!" Applejack yelled, as she spat out a mouthful of cake.
"What's wrong?" Pinkie said through a large chunk of cake!"
"Is this STRAWBERRY flavour!"
"Yeah!"
"Ah HATE strawberries!"
"Oops.. well, I could go back to Sugar Cube Corner and make new ones!"
"Well..." Applejack started, considering the risk of putting the show on hold for an hour, or more. Before she could give a definite answer, Pinkie Pie took off, headed for nowhere but Sugar Cube Corner.
"Uh..." She said, watching Pinkie run off. "I guess, that's the show for today!" She said nervously.
The audience stared at her for a moment, before grumbling and walking away, ditching their complimentary balloons and party hats sporting Applejack's likeness.
"Wait, why are y'all groaning!?"
"Cause your show was bad and you should feel bad!" One of the slower people said, before running off to join his friends.
"What was wrong with the show?" She thought aloud. "Everyone seemed to like it!"
She sat down on the stage and sighed, pondering just what could have gone wrong.
The last person to leave hung behind for just enough time to hear her thoughts, before putting on his mask, and walking away victoriously.
One of his buddies caught up to him, and whispered in his ear.
"All went to plan." He simply replied with a cocky smile.
Applejack noticed this, before cursing under her breath.
"F**kin' Anonymous!" She said before walking off the stage and planning another Applejack Awareness Day.
