Troubled New Home: What's Old Is New Again

by SolvableSphinx

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Main 6, Nightmare Moon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 27832

A burned out Twilight Sparkle gets sent back to a different universe's Episode 1.

Twilight Sparkle is tired. Tired of spending every other month saving Equestria. Tired of being the bearer of the Element of Magic. Tired of having no romantic prospects. She's tired of dealing with the politics that comes from being the Dean of Magic at Princess Luna's university. And most of all she's tired of being at a dead end in her life. Some days, she just wanted to wake up, and not have to deal with any of those things.

Sometimes ponies get their wishes in the most unexpected ways.

[Reboot of The Trouble with Time Travel]

Published 2012-06-20 23:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-18 11:30:13 UTC

Chapter 1

Troubled New Home
What's Old is New Again

Written by Solvable Sphinx

Standard disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction that does not depict real people or events, and any similarities to such are coincidences. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the property of Hasbro. All other franchises are the intellectual property of their respective owners. Distribution of this work for profit is strictly prohibited. Please support the official release.

<<<<<<<<<<========================================>>>>>>>>>>

It wasn’t the Ponyville library, but had done well these past few decades. The office, her one refuge, was kept obsessively clean. Her walls were covered with diplomas, degrees, certifications, and pictures when they were not covered with bookshelves. Her desk was made of the finest mahagony, crafted magically to bend the very fabric of space and time so that she could have comfortable naps when the desire fell upon her. The statue of Discord stood beside her door, it’s rather amusing expression covered by the coat she left upon it.

Twilight Sparkle was an intelligent, powerful, wise and kind pony of many years. The current data suggested that due to prolong and intense use of the Elements of Harmony, her mind and body were being warped into a new, more regal form. Therefore, she was Celestia’s protégé once more, and had to practice her ‘Princess lessons’ when speaking with all subjects of the Equestrian crown. This is what Twilight kept saying to herself as she listened to the supposedly distressed student pleading with her over the telephone.

“No, I will not give you a better grade,” Twilight told the person on the other end of the line. There was more talking on the other end, not quite audible to others in the room. Twilight sighed a little bit. “How unfortunate. What was her name?” there was more talking.

“Huh. You said she died two times during this semester alone. The data would suggest that since your grandmother is constantly dying and being reborn, you would be part phoenix. Which is false, since phoenix are incompatible with ponies. In any case, they’re much smarter than you,” Twilight said in deadpan. More babbling came from the other end.

“Well let’s go down the list, shall we?” Twilight asked, an edge of vindictive glee in her voice. “You’re always late to class. You’re always drunk. You are never keeping colt friends, and I had to console several of the talented young stallions you threw away because they needed a mother figure and apparently I’m it. Although the rise in social illnesses correlating to your arrival does not suggest you are the cause, I would still suggest testing.”

There was outright yelling now, although Twilight stood her ground. “Well, the data suggest that you could be defined as such if we were strictly keeping with the dictionary definition. Oh, the Chancillor? Do you mean our fair Princess Luna? Founder and head of the Royal Lunar University, of which you are taking classes and allowing you to pester me with all these wonderful toys?”

There was silence on the other end. Twilight smiled. “Gotcha. I won’t be handing out ‘emergency bonus grades’. Go to bed, fail the final with some semblance of dignity, and register for another semester. If you do well, this one will be forgiven. Now good night.”

Twilight hung up the phone before quietly tucking it away. Spike knocked on the door. “Come on in, Spike.”

The young dragon had entered into the office carrying a tray. “I got you some milk and cookies,” Spike said. He was larger now, more the size of Big Macintosh than a young foal. He seemed more mature, and in many ways he was, but at his core he was still the same Spike.

“You don’t need to treat me like a kid, Spike,” Twilight replied. “In fact, aren’t I kind of your mother?”

Spike grinned. “You hatched me, but that doesn’t you Mom. Your Mom is my mom. That's why I call her Mom, remember?”

“Fair enough,” Twilight said with a shrug. Despite her initial protest, she began to nibble on one of the cookies. “These are good.”

“Are they? I learned how to make them from Pinkie Pie,” Spike replied with a grin.

“Which means they’ll go to my flank,” Twilight replied with a sigh. “Or would, if I were a normal pony.”

“But you are a normal pony,” Spike said.

“No Spike. If I were a normal pony, then other ponies wouldn’t be treating me like some sort of Princess,” Twilight replied, quickly standing up and walking out of her office. Spike followed her.

“My love life is a mess, which I guess goes along with being ‘an egghead’. Or the fact that I’ll outlive most of my age cohort. My friends are all in corners of the world I have absolutely no control over. My family expects me to do… something…

“And to top that all off, I either have to deal with hero worship, insolence, or political chicken manure!” Twilight ranted off.

“How’s politics involved in this? You’re not a politician,” Spike replied.

“No, I’m not. I’m the Chair of the Arcane Sciences department. Which means I get to sign off on money. In fact, I get to sign off on all the money!” Twilight said with false enthusiasm. “Oh, I was dreading a life of studying subjects which intrest me, in relative solitude, while drawing a government paycheck for it. Now I get to spend all days fisical reports and requests and papers which I couldn’t give two bits about until my eyes go bad, which is oh so much better.

“I swear by all gods old and new, and I mean this Spike, overseeing a thesis defense was the highlight of my month. My month! I should be the one defending research. Or making a new spell. Or studying all the new things going on in the fields of natural philosophy. The fields of natural philosophy. It’s dividing itself now because there so much to do and learn. And I should be doing that! Learning and doing! Not wasting my life in an office!”

“But Princess Luna asked you to do this, Twilight. And you were so happy to do it,” Spike said, almost pleadingly.

Twilight sighed, looking around as she walked. She was approaching the library now. For some reason it was a more comfortable place to sleep in than her own almost lavish bedroom. “Yeah Spike, I know. But you know what would make me happy right now? Going back to Ponyville.”

Twilight opened the door to the library and turned on the lights. This library was much more plush and intimate than Celestia’s, with comfortable carpets and places to sit for multiple body layouts. But it was all wood and brass, like some royal’s parlor instead of the comfortable reading place the Ponyville library was. “But you were in Ponyville last week,” Spike said.

“Not that Ponyville. I want to go back to the old Ponyville,” Twilight said as she found herself a particularly large pillow to lay down on.

“You’re going to mess up your mane like that,” Spike warn.

“It’s already messed up,” Twilight said with a yawn, before laying down. She stroked the luxerous couch, cooing lovingly to it. “Oh couch, I’m so unfaithful with my bed by sleeping with you. Nopony must ever know.”

Spike sighed. “Now your just being silly.”

“I’m a tired old mare, Spike. A lonely, tired, single old mare that even Cadence couldn't find a match for. I have a right to be silly,” Twilight replied, closing her eyes. “Turn off the lights on your way out, and wake me up before the librarian comes by and throws a fit.”

“Yes ma’am,” Spike wearily replied. He then turned off the light, leaving Twilight alone with her thoughts and dreams.
~ ~ ~The sun was bright in the face of Twilight Sparkle. Slowly she shook the sleep from her eyes. She felt so fatigued, but from the blurry image of the book laying on the desk she quickly decided that she was sleep reading again. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, then looked around.

She was in a library, but it was not nearly as baroque as the one she fell asleep in. Everything was either off white or brightly colored, brightly colored modern books sitting on the shelves. The glass windows let the sun into the atrium, which would decay the older tomes that Princess Luna favored making available for her students, researchers and printers. The giant globe and the hour glass sitting in the center of the room was perhaps the biggest giveaway to her location.

“Oh no no no no! I’m in the Canterlot Royal Library! I must have teleported here while I was sleep researching!” Twilight said frantically, almost reaching to the point of yelling. “Maybe if I used a spell to travel back in time… no, I don’t have any time for that! Where are my clothes?”

The mare looked around for the clothes that she normally wore, particularly her vest and sweater, before seeing herself in an antique silver backed mirror.

Twilight gasped. The pony before her was not her. She looked like Twilight Sparkle, but was a much younger mare of normal proportions, and with a relatively stubby horn. Twilight screamed, backing away from the mirror as quickly as she could.

“Twilight, what’s wrong?!” Spike yelled, running into room. Twilight could hear her heart racing in her ears as she saw her assistant and little brother figure appear at least fourty years younger. A full on baby dragon.

“I… you… you’re a baby!” Twilight babbled incoherently.

“I’m not a baby! I’m eight years old!” Spike replied indignantly. “Geez. What’s going on with you?”

“I don’t know! Maybe a spell backfired! Or anything!” Twilight yelled, before realizing that she was panicking. She then closed her eyes, and began counting quietly to twenty, her hoof lightly tapping on the ground.

“Uhh… Twilight? Are you okay? What are you doing?” Spike asked.

“Calming down,” Twilight replied. She still seemed somewhat panicked, but at least she wasn’t yelling now. “It’s an old zebra trick. If you count slowly, you give yourself enough time to calm down enough from panicking to make better informed decisions.”

“That’s… actually kind of cool,” Spike replied. “But why are you so nervious?”

“I don’t know,” Twilight replied. “That’s the problem. Anything could of gone wrong while I was sleeping.”

“You look perfectly normal to me. A bit tired, though. Maybe you should take a nap. I do it all the time, so it must be good for you!” Spike replied enthusiastically.

“Umm… no thanks,” Twilight replied, pulling down a book. “I need to figure out what happened so that I can go ahead and teach my class. I hate being late for class, especially if I’m the professor!”

“You… a professor? Seriously, Twilight, what’s going on. You’re not a professor. You’re Princess Celestia’s student,” Spike replied.

Twilight stood still for a moment, before pulling down a couple of more books. “Spike, what’s today?”

“Thursday. The day before the Summer Sun Festival,” Spike replied, which caused Twilight to pull down a few more books. “Need any help?”

“Not right now. I’ll take a nap after I do some light reading,” Twilight replied, before casually lifting two dozen tomes on theoretical magic with her own unicorn telekinesis.

“That’s light reading?” Spike asked.

“Actually, it’s… yes, Spike. Yes it is,” Twilight replied. “I need to get some more exercise anyway. Get some fresh air, see some friends. I’ll be in the park if you need me, okay?”

“Sure thing, Twilight,” Spike replied. As the young unicorn mare walked out, he began thinking to himself. “She’s sorta acting like normal, but she’s not making any sense. Who should I talk to?” At that, he smiled as the answer almost immediately entered into his head. “Princess Celestia! She’ll know what to do!”
~ ~ ~
“Okay… okay… plan. I need a plan,” Twilight muttered to herself as she walked down the hoof trail. Carriages were passing by on the bridge below, which itself was strange, but she didn’t pay it any mind. “Plan is… read! Reading always gets me out of trouble! Or into it. But generally out.”

As quickly as she set off to find her favorite spot in Canterlot, she found it. Sitting down in front of her favorite tree, with the ambient sound of foals playing and ponies enjoying a little bit of nature in the middle of a busy city, Twilight took out the first book.

“Okay, so, let’s see. A little bit of providence would be really nice right about now,” Twilight said to herself. She randomly flipped to a page, and began to read.

~ ~ ~

And it came to pass that three years before Her reign, that there was another ruler. For even as there are two rulers of the sky, there were two rulers of all ponies. The elder, who ruled the day, and the younger, who ruled the night.

Behold, for in those days all ponies slept safely at night, protected by their ruler. But she was a lonely Princess, and a jealous one. And in this moment of weakness, she fell to the chaos which sought to rule her heart, even unto Discord.

And thus she transformed into the Nightmare, and sought to dominate all pony-kind. And she spoke pleasing words unto the ponies of the land, even unto the five tribes (for in those day there were five). And behold, a third of the hosts of ponies followed her. And all of the mereponies followed the Nightmare, for they worshipped the moon before they were destroyed.

And there came to be a great war upon the land, and Discord reigned over all. The older sister, with heavy heart, used all her power to banish her Discordant sister, and restore Harmony. And those who followed her sister were purified, and brought unto Harmony, save the mereponies, for they become too Discordant and were swept away by Harmony.

The older sister was offered rulership of all ponykind, and refused. She instead became Chief Arbitor, and ordained those strong mares and stallions she most trusted to bring Justice and Harmony unto the land. And thus began the Reign of Judges.

~ ~ ~

Twilight stared at the book, dumbfounded. She began to flip the pages forward. She began to flip the pages back. And what she found, consistently, was a cross between a religious text and a history book. And it was all almost right, but very, very wrong at the same time.

Being a mare of science, a master of arcane, and an acknowledge expert in the fields of her study, she did the only thing which made sense to her at the time.

“WHAT IS THIS CHICKEN MANURE?!"

~ ~ ~

Princess Celestia sighed to herself as she reread the letter.

“Twilight Sparkle… I’ve really let you down, haven’t I?” she asked herself. She quietly paced in her office, thinking about the quickest and easiest way to make her most faithful student’s life better without… undue meddling.

Because it isn’t meddling. It’s helping.

“Aunt Celestia,” a certain nephew said as he stood by the door.

“Oh, Blueblood. Come in, my favorite first nephew,” Celestia said, motioning a comfortable cushion across the room from her.

“Aunt Celestia, I’m you’re only first nephew still alive,” the noble whine.

“So you know that I’m being perfectly truthful,” Celestia replied. “So, what little scandal are you needing me to wish away this time?”

Normally fur doesn’t flush. So the fact that Blueblood’s face became bright didn’t help him any.

“Oh, nephew, you’re such fun to tease. Unless… you didn’t have a bastard, did you?” Celestia asked.

“What? NO!” Blueblood replied, feeling indignant. “I’m still a virgin! How can I have a child when I’m… oh.”

“The fact that you are not a healthy, virile young stallion…”

“Oh gods not this conversation…” Blueblood whined.

“… is apparently a conversation best saved for another day,” Celestia replied, before sighing. “How is it that everypony is less modest but more prudish these days? Ah well. What is it that you need?”

“Well, I’m overseeing the general preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. In your honor, of course.”

“Of course,” Celestia drolly replied.

“But none of my normal contacts will deign to handle the preparations for your arrive in Ponyville. None that I feel I can trust not to turn it into another carousal of corruption and nepotism, at least,” Blueblood stated.

“Hmm…”

“Aunty…”

“Nothing~”

“Aunty, everyone related you by blood knows when you’re meddling,” Blueblood said.

“Oh, I’m not meddling. I’m helping,” Celestia said with a smile that was too innocent to be real. “You need a manager, and I need to get my most faithful student away from those dusty old books. If anything goes wrong, it’ll go wrong in simply the most delightful of ways.”
~ ~ ~
Twilight slumped against the tree, exhausted. Her picks had been semi-random, titles that stood out among the familiar shelf faces of the library. But after reading through them all at a dizzying rate, she finally came to the undeniable conclusion.

“I’m in a different world…”

The first clue was the fact that the history was different. As she dug deeper, she found that natural philosophy had become natural science, and finally differentiated into the fields of physics, chemistry, biology, geology, and many more. At the same time, magical sciences were stuck at least a century back, and “arcane philosophy” was seemingly primitive at best. Even the language was different, a mix of old words and new that was familiar yet slightly jarring.

“It’s just… how?” Twilight asked to herself, lost in her thoughts.

“How what?” a voice asked, causing Twilight to scream in startled surprise. The mares looking at her recoiled a little at the sudden frantic act, before Twilight got her barings.

“Oh… uh… sorry about that,” Twilight said sheepishly.

“It’s okay. It was kind of my fault,” the mare apologized. She seemed familiar, but at the same time her name escaped Twilight’s mind. “We’ve just gotten presents for Moondancer’s party and we thought it would be nice to invite you along. So, want to come?”

“I… uh…” Twilight said, thinking for a moment. All these events were familiar, but at the same time she couldn’t quite place them. “I’m… not good with parties. Not the big ones.”

“Oh…” the mare said, obviously disappointed.

“But I could give it a try,” Twilight said sheepishly. “I can’t make any promises, but it could be a nice break from all this studying. When is it?”

“It’ll be in the south end of the park, three blocks away from the mall. It’s part of the Canterlot Summer Sun Festival, so there’ll be everything there. It’ll be great to have you there! The foals would love to see more of that magic that everyone knows you’re good at,” the other two nodded, giving broad smiles.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you then,” Twilight said, as she levitated the books and began walking away. Even as she warmed up to socialization, she was more at home with a close group of friends than a large gathering of strangers. It did have it’s own promise, though. There were several sociological experiments that she could…

“No. Bad Twilight. We have ethics boards for a reason,” Twilight said to herself as she walked by another familiar duo. She absently waved backed at their greeting, still thinking to herself about her situation.

Then it hit her.

“Wait… Summer Sun Festival?” she asked herself. “It’s… it’s today. It’s that day. The day I was sent to Ponyville and…”

She broke out into a run. If she was both somewhere else and somewhen else than her normal universe, then she was going to need all the information that she could get. Soon enough she got to destination, running into the library and panting for breath. She remembered why she decided to skip most forms of physical activities as a young mare, every muscle in her legs and her lungs burning from being pushed too hard. She didn’t relent, though, as she quickly took off her saddle bag and pulled books from the shelf.

“No,” she said, looking at one before tossing it to the side. “No. No. No. No. Ahah! That’s the ticket!”

“Umm… Twilight. What’s going on?” Spike asked, walking in from a different room.

“Research!” Twilight replied, grinning manically as she took a particular reproduction to the reading stand.

“Research?” Spike replied. The exact way that Twilight was talking was setting off a large number of alarms in Spike’s head. For a moment he was even sure that he saw some sort of dark, malevolent Royal reflected in the giant hour glass that formed the centerpiece of the main reading room, but it was gone just as soon as Twilight passed it. Twilight began to flip through the pages, her eyes moving across pages at an almost unnatural rate before they stopped.

“And there we go!” Twilight said, reading over the book. “Vague prophecy, nice round number that should be fairly distant in the future, vaguer way of bringing about the prophecy’s resolution that doesn’t quite add up to my version of the original events. All the elements are there, but it just needs a special spark.”

“That… sounds bad…” Spike said reluctantly.

“I know, right?” Twilight cheerfully replied to the threat of existential doom hanging over the nation.

“Shouldn’t we tell the Princess?” Spike asked.

“Tell her what? She wouldn’t believe some silly filly who can’t get out of a library. And if anything goes wrong, then I have the highest trust in my faithful mentor, Princess Celestia.” Twilight replied, seeming slightly manic and all too saccharine.

“That… sounds even worse somehow,” Spike said. “Should I be worried?”

“Oh no, Spike. No worry at all. Worry not I. Why? Because I’ve been invited to a Party!” Twilight said, slightly manic gleam in her eye growing to worrying proportions as she slowly approached the baby dragonwith an overwhelmingly fake sacarine smile. “And I’ll go there in a pretty dress and dance and meet all the colts! Doesn’t that sound exciting?”

“Twilight… you’re scaring me…” Spike said with a slight whimper.

Twilight seemed to sober for a moment, before sighing. “Sorry Spike. The last few days have been… very stressful. I just… need to go home and relax. Yeah. That.”

“Well, I’m not sure about home, but maybe this will help,” Spike said, opening up the scroll in his hand. He cleared his throat, before he began reading the scroll.

To my most faithful student Twilight Sparkle,

As you may already know, it will soon be the thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. Although many place both within and without the borders of Equestria shall celebrate the event, I shall be celebrating in the town of Ponyville, the modern settlement closest to my old home.

Very few unicorns are interested in magic these days, and I am glad that you are continuing your tribe’s proud tradition in your own way. But you must simply get away from those dusty old books once in a while. You are a young and capable mare with a lot of potential, and for that reason I am giving you your first official royal duty:

You are to travel to Ponyville at your earliest convenience by Our own privately supplied pegasus drawn carriage to supervise the final preparations of the Summer Sun Celebration. Ensure that the food will be pleasing to Our guests, that the entertainment shall be marvelous, and that Our guests shall celebrate the Day in a safe and secure township.

Unofficially, I know how you get. Don’t stress over it, and don’t be afraid to send a message to myself or Prince Blueblood if there is a problem that you can’t handle.

I’m also giving you an unofficial duty: Make some friends. It may seem a tad out of touch coming from a Royal as old as I am, but trust me, life’s too short to spend alone in some library.

I hope you have a wonderful time managing the most important and well covered festival in all of Equestria.

Sincerely,
H.M.S.M. Princess Celestia, Sovereign of the Sun, Regent of the Moon, etc., etc.

Twilight stared Spike and the reading of the letter. She had no words, but instead began walking to the nearest wall and lightly banging her head against it.

“Umm… Twilight? What are you doing?” Spike asked

“Maybe if I become dumb this will all go away.” She said, with far too much exhaustion in her voice. She then sighed, and stopped it. “You know what, forget it. Let’s go.”

“So soon?” Spike asked. “Don’t you need to pack up?”

“If this Ponyville has a library and a restaurant, then I think I’ll be okay. Let’s go, Spike. It’s the most important Summer Sun Celebration in a thousand years. We need to make sure the Princess gets a proper debut.”
~ ~ ~

Day 1, about 1:00 pm

Like all other prolonged journies into other worlds or times, I am keeping a journal. I’ve already used ‘Sparkle’s Ontological Inertia’ to ensure that it will return in my home time and place, even if I do not come out of this alive. Hopefully this doesn’t end up as nightmare inducing as some of the other logs I… or rather, possibly different versions of me… have produced.

Maybe this will be one of the ones where I do not outlive my generation, settle down, and have a family? And not watch as my nieces and nephews have their own children and reach middle age? I shouldn’t let myself fall into depressive introspection, at least not while there’s things to do and exciting new things to learn. At least I’m finally out of that cramped office and away from those nagging tenured faculty, hungry post-docs looking for positions and lazy undergrads learning that the world won’t cater to them for the first time.

I do not know truly where I am. It appears to be some sort of alternate world. Things here appear mostly the same, but at the same time different. The differences are somewhat fascinating, yet worrying. There’s a lot more diversity here, but a lot more violence and conflict. What are the philosophical implications of this?

I’m living through another version of the day I met my friends. Once again, I am being forced to solve some crisis that I have no control over.

The magical sciences are at least a century behind in this version of Equestria, while the natural sciences are at least a century ahead. What does this mean? Is this a dream, and I’m finding a way to make myself the most important unicorn in Equestria while giving myself something new to play with while reliving fond memories? I hope it is. I do not want to think that I’ve accidently killed this universe’s version of me.

I shouldn’t panic. Heck, maybe I should have fun with this. This is something new, and for once I’m only responsible for myself. I’ll start worry if the week has passed and it looks like I’m not going home.

Maybe this is what I’ve always wanted? A fresh start where nopony knows me. I’ve always toyed with the idea of running away, maybe building a wagon and being a showmare in some distant land, but I’ve had too many responsibilities…

Baby Spike’s giving me an odd look. I’ll finish this up later.

Twilight Sparkle

Chapter 2

Twilight stared listlessly over the side of the carriage, watching as the landscape of Equestria zipped under her. At one point she may of dismissed it out of petulant disinterest, while at another she would marvel at the now magically untouched landscape.

Now though, that same sense of monotony, of sameness, as all the other times she viewed the landscape kept her from getting her spirits up.

“Come on, cheer up Twilight,” Spike said encouragingly beside her. “I’m sure that Ponyville will have lots of new ponies to meet.”

“Yeah, sure,” Twilight said in a droll tone of voice.

“Oh, being away from the library isn’t that bad, is it?” Spike asked.

“Why? I’m just going to end up in another one. My whole life’s a library. Whoop-dee-doo,” Twilight said with a noticible lack of cheer.

“What’s wrong, Twilight. Seriously. One moment you’re on a sugar high, another moment you’re down in the dumps. Is it… pony puberity?” Spike asked, with a sudden sense of dread. “Oh gods it’s pony puberty isn’t it?!”

“Spike, it’s not puberty. I’m… I'm... well I’m just too old for that sort of thing!” Twilight said, with a hint of tolerant frustration. She sighed, looking over at the baby dragon. “Listen, I’m sure we’ll be fine. We’ll probably meet all sorts of ponies, like you say.”

“So, who do you think you’ll meet?” Spike asked, expectantly.

“Oh, the usual sorts of ponies I guess,” Twilight replied. “Buisnessmare, farm pony, a quiet pony with a thing for nature… maybe a potentially creepy party pony and a service pony that’s too gung ho for his or her own good.”

“Wow, sounds like… ponies you know,” Spike said.

“You’re catching on,” Twilight said with a smile.

“And you’re acting creepy,” Spike replied. “But I guess creepy and happy is better than mopey and quiet.”

“That’s the spirit,” Twilight replied, as the carriage made it’s landing. Twilight stepped off the carriage with Spike, before turning back to the carriage. “Oh yeah, thanks guy. Ride was perfect.”

The two pegasus stallions gave satisfied knickers and smiles, before taking off and beginning their flight back to Canterlot.

“So, who do we see first…” Twilight asked herself.

“Security seems important,” Spike replied without prompting. “Maybe we should see those guys first and get directions around town?”

“Good idea Spike. I’m sure that…” Twilight trailed off, looking in front of her.

Spike followed where she was looking, noticing the empty space. There were ponies in the background, sure. But none in front of them.

Or anything else for that matter, besides mostly empty road.

“What’s wrong?” Spike asked.

“I think something was supposed to be here,” Twilight said. “Something or somepony.”

“Creepy and happy?” Spike asked, his inflection suggesting that he would rather have that right now.

“Creepy and happy!” Twilight replied. “So, who are the ponies in grey uniforms?”

“Probably the town guard. Maybe we should ask them who’s in charge,” Spike suggested.

“Good idea again, Spike. Excuse me, sir! Or… madam… as the case may be. I was wondering if you could answer a teeny-tiny question for me…”

~ ~ ~

The purple unicorn and her baby dragon assistant and little brother analogue stepped off the chariot. For a moment, she seemed… expectant. Almost suspicious. But soon enough she went on her away.

All the while, a straight haired mare that was pink save for the antiquated pastel clothes she wore made a note on her notepad.

Unknown pony from out of town. Unicorn. Party? Y/N

She thought for a moment, before circling the N. She then began to write again.

No party for her. Ask for direction. Prepare for prank.

And after letting down her pen, the pink mare giggled.

“Oh, we’ll simply have a marvelously good time!”
~ ~ ~
Twilight searched Ponyville with Spike, having a few false starts to finding the right pony, but eventually they made their way to the main camp. Along the way she was introduced to the horror of “C-rats”, which for some reason Spike seemed to love. The militia ponies seemed amused in a way that would spell misfortune for the dragon, but even with gentle prodding the dragon was still eating from the cans with a metal spoon as they followed their current guide.

“Oh, Lieutenant Belle is right over here, ma’am,” the rather helpful mail mare said. Twilight knew Derpy Hooves through her rather eclectic tastes in reading and frequent deliveries, though she’s never seen the mare quite like this.

Like the rest of the “Ponyville Guard”, Derpy Hooves was wearing a cadet grey military uniform. The cuffs and epaulets were lined with red velvet, with gold piping, buttons and insignias. She also wore a black beret with a small badge that looked like a sword with wings on the flat part, as well as a black eye patch over her well known lazy eye. She had three chevrons and three rockers in red on each of her sleeves, and centered within them was an embroidered red star.

“And what exactly is… Lieutenant Belle… doing right now?” Twilight asked.

“Most likely smoking Chief Heartstring,” Derpy replied with a deviant smile.

“Smoking?” Twilight asked suspiciously.

“Yes. You know, chewing out. Verbally chastising. Disemboweling them and stringing them up by their intestines while still alive… metaphorically, of course,” Derpy said all too assuredly.

“Of… course?” Twilight replied.

“Oh, don’t worried. I used to get yelled at all the time before loosing my bad eye in the war. And I yell at Lyra all the time while we’re in civilian life. And here we are now. Ooh, they’re just getting to the good part too.” Derpy said, all too pleased with herself.

Like the grey pony in the grey uniform said, they arrived at a tent.

“There’s one final matter I would like to discuss Miss Heartstring, before we get to the subject of warjacks,” a voice that was clearly Rarity said.

“Well I’m all ears, Ell-Tee. …metaphorically speaking. It’s not like that time with the ear monster I…” the pony who Twilight recognized as Lyra, another eccentric, said back. Twilight supposed that she could barge in, but she was curious and didn’t want to be rude.

“Of course,” Rarity politely interrupted. “Now, Sergeant Major Hooves has pointed out this form, which apparently you filled out.”

“… Well, looks like my hoof-writing. What about it, ma’am?” Lyra asked.

“You told the supply sergeant that the fourty millimeter anti-air dummy round was to be used for a training demonstration,” Rarity began. Twilight knew that tone of voice. It was all too nice and saccharine to hold anything good. Now she was glad that she was staying out of the tent.

“Well yes, I do remember that,” Lyra replied.

“And, since you’re my favorite discipline problem, you wrote down that the reason for checking it out was… ahem… as a romantic aid. Am I wrong?” Rarity asked.

There was an awkward pause. Twilight thought about it, and the thought was enough to elicit both a rather deep blush and mild revulsion. “Well golly gee ell-tee, it does look like that was written in the right box for that sort of thing, in my hoof writing.”

“Miss Heartstrings, how exactly were you going to use the fourty millimeter anti-air dummy round for both a training demonstration and a romantic aid at the same time?” Rarity asked.

“… well, ell-tee, the two aren’t mutually exclusive…” Lyra replied, although what that defense implied simply made Twilight blush harder.

“Miss Heartstrings, remember how you said that my warjacks would look very handsome with a coat of polish?” Rarity asked, in that same fake-sweet tone that she has been using. It then went flat, clearly giving an order to someone she was less than pleased with. “I expect you to personally apply that polish before the festival start. Am I clear, Warrant Officer Heartstrings?”

There was a sigh, before a mint green unicorn walked out of the tent. “Yes Lieutenant Belle,” Lyra said dejectedly.

“You’re career can take it, ma’am,” Derpy said as the unicorn walked pass. “Lieutenant Belle? I have the crown’s rep for the party.”

“Ah, yes,” Rarity said, quickly regaining decorum. “I truly apologize for letting you hear that.”

“Oh… uh… no problem…” Twilight replied. “I’m still trying to figure out the mechanics of that, though.”

“My dear, don’t worry about such things. You will find that there are plenty of things that nopony is meant to know. The ‘wacky hijinks’ of Miss Heartstrings are one of them. Now, what can I do for you?”

Twilight took the time to look over the pony that she recognized at Rarity, but was not her Rarity. She seemed different, more elegant yet much cooler , like an ancient masterwork sword. She had apparently forgone her long, luxurious locks for a much more practical style of a neatly kept bun. Here she wore her glasses, which she normally went without due to vanity, although they were black instead of orange.

Her clothes were of a much more militant nature then Twilight ever thought the fashionista would design, much less wear. It was an immaculate uniform of the same type and cut as the rest of the Ponyville guard. Instead of chevrons, her epaulets were of elaborately braided gold, the mandarin style collar having squares with embroidered leaves in them. A half cape completed the look, although why she was wearing it and nopony else was something Twilight was trying to figure out. Spike dropped his can of food, which Twilight quietly put into the category of ‘Spike being Spike’.

The most striking difference, though, was Rarity’s right foreleg. Twilight was never a mechanic, but she had come to appreciate well crafted machines. This was no different. It had all the appearances of a normal hoof, save for the fact that it was metal. Looking closely, she could see the hydraulics and other mechanisms that made it work. The fact that it was gilded also helped for it to stand out.

“Do you like my leg?” Rarity asked.

“I… what?” Twilight asked back.

“Do you like my leg?” Rarity asked again, before holding up the cloth covered metal leg for Twilight to inspect. “I normally do not like to brag, but this particular design was my own creation. Simple and elegant, it allows an amputee to turn their prosthetic into a fashion accessory. Granted, there’s a loss in sensation involved in the design… but I’m working on it!”

“I… how?” Twilight asked, almost offended at the fact that something was so radically different from the norm. “How the hay could somepony like you end up with something like that?!”

Rarity was stunned at the outburst. “I made it. The fact that I lost my foreleg is common knowledge. It was even in the Canterlot newspaper, much as I hated that when it happened,” Rarity replied, her mystified tone giving way to bitterness.

“Oh. Well… from your reputation…” Twilight said, trying to recover.

Rarity gave a demure laugh. “Oh, you mustn’t truly know my reputation then. The enlisted call me ‘Lieutenant Steelhoof’. The other fashion designers call me all sorts of nasty things behind my back, but it’s because they’re jealous of my success.”

“It’s a long story involving a dragon, romance and fabulous riches. Maybe I should tell you sometime,” Rarity replied, before giving Spike a look. She then went back to Twilight. “But we should go over the security situation first.”

“Oh… of course,” Twilight replied. “How is… the security? I feel weird saying that for some reason, but still.”

“I can understand why. Equestria’s supposed to be a peaceful nation, after all. But Ponyville isn’t Canterlot. The Everfree and the Old Capitol were abandoned for a very good reason, and the Gates of Tartarus are nearby. Not to mention the fact that we’re on the frontier, and most other nations… rather dislike us,” Rarity said.

“Why would they dislike us? We’re peaceful!” Twilight replied.

“Well, it turns that controlling the weather has consiquences that most ponies don’t realize. It’s only travelling abroad that one sees the full effect of what we do. Oh, as we’ve perfect the science of weather control the net effect has gone down, but it’s still a grievance that few are willing to forget.

“The biggest threat to Ponyville is, and always will be, monsters. The large numbers of ponies coming here are sure to attract attention, which is why the Ponyville Guard has worked in conjunction with the Royal Guard and the Gendarmerie in deploying all necessary assets to ensure that the roads, city and the surrounding homesteads will be safe for this event.”

“Well, that’s one thing off the checklist,” Twilight said with a sigh. “Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.”

“No problem at all. Not everypony can appreciate the beauty and grace which can be found in everything. I would hardly expect our Princess’s most faithful student of magic to appreciate warjacks beyond their utility, for example.”

“I’m sorry, but… warjacks?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, yes. Warjacks," Rarity said with a slight flourish, indicating that it was one of her typical canned presentations. "The technomagical marvels of arcane machinery that allow a single pony to fight with the full strength of Equestrian engineering know-how at her command. Some have dismissed those claims, but I will be more than happy to demonstrate to you what they do. In fact, we have a partially disassembled one that you could examine if you so desired.”

Twilight considered herself a mare far too old to squee. But she was being given the chance to look at something new, exotic, and most importantly not directly related to saving Equestria or tied to university funding for the next biennium period. So there was, indeed, much squeeing.

“I really should stop being mean to Heartstrings,” Rarity said to herself as the purple pony practically hopped in excitement to the new mechanical marvel for her to play with.

“So… uhh… dragons and romance…” Spike said awkwardly.

“You’re a bit young for my taste,” Rarity said, effectively dashing Spike’s hopes. “But that’s neither here nor there. Now come along and lets make sure that your mother figure doesn’t accidentally break something.”

“She’s not my Mom,” Spike muttered, before following the beautiful pony along. Even with the rejection, he couldn’t help but to admire what he considered the most beautiful pony he’s ever seen.
~ ~ ~
“No! I told you not to touch that!” Lyra yelled.

“But I’m not touching it,” Twilight said in a sing song voice.

“Using magic to float things around is still touching it!”

The surprisingly juvenile argument continued to go back and forth as Rarity and Spike watched the two. “Is she always like this?” Rarity asked.

“It may be an improvement,” Spike replied. “I don’t know. She’s been bouncing back and forth between happy and sad since this morning. I told the Princess about it, so this should be a bit of a break.”

“Well, I may not mind helping out Ms. Sparkle, but we do need to make sure that my Warjacks are not disassembled by a mad arcanist,” Rarity stated, thinking for a moment. “Hmm… What else do you need to do?”

“Well, we need to make sure that the food’s gonna be delivered on time,” Spike replied. “There’s also need to make sure the wildlife doesn’t hurt anyone. Something about a ranger…”

“Oh, Ranger Fluttershy is simply too busy right now. But I do know who’s in charge of supplying the catering and…” Rarity paused, noticing something that honestly left her at a loss for words.

Pinned to the ground by one of the functional light warjacks, a massive humanoid machine painted in grey and gold, was Lyra. Rather than trying to yell, she simply layed there, looking nonplus. The previously broken light warjack now had it’s head ripped from its neck as Twilight loosened the screws with her magic.

“Let’s see what’s inside of here…” she said, grinning to herself. “Oooh! Is it magic?”

“Very expensive techno-magic,” Lyra replied. “Ell-tee, help?”

“Ms. Sparkle, dear…” Rarity began.

“What’s it called?” Twilight asked.

“A cortex,” Rarity replied. “This is all very basic knowledge. Perhaps we can catch up later when…”

“Aww. Cortex has no wonder to it. Well, better than something pretensious, like ‘cogitor’. Must have been made by a practitioner then,” Twilight said, before her eyes glowed. “Oooh. I like what I see.”

Rarity was quiet for a moment. “And what do you see?”

“I have no idea. Which is great!” Twilight said with excitement. “I’m so sick of being the authority on everything magic. ‘Oh, Professor Twilight, how do we break the prophecy and stop the evil genericness from destroying Equestria?’ Pony the buck up! They should know that by now.”

“Miss Sparkle, do you not have other duties?” Rarity asked.

“Duties later. Science now,” Twilight replied. “Now, lets see…. Perhaps some destruction testing is in… eep!”

Very strong magic lifted Twilight in the air, holding her ten meters above the ground. Rarity, who Twilight knew to be a very specialize magic user in her own universe, was unusually strong now.

“Miss Sparkle, I would be remiss if I allow you to destroy Ponyville government property while you are neglecting your duties to the Princess,” Rarity said with all the calm poise she could muster. She twirled the pony around, pointing her in the general direction of Sweet Apple Acres. “The catering is being provided by Sweet Apple Acres. It would be… wise… if you left the security to those whose duties are such, rather than to an admittedly smart filly who has not served her conscription yet. You shall do your duty to Equestria, the Ponyville Guard will do it’s, and everypony will be very content with the results. Do I make myself clear, Miss Sparkle?”

“Yes! Crystal clear!” Twilight yelled, shocked at what happen. “Now could you please slowly, calmly, and safely lower me to ground level?!”

“Of course, dear,” Rarity replied. She did as Twilight asked, lowering Twilight to the ground. The purple unicorn mare shook blink a few moment, before clearing her throat.

“I’m… sorry about the display. I was a bit too excited,” Twilight began.

“I understand,” Rarity replied. “You’re the pony whose a magical genius unseen since the time of Starswirl the Righteous. But you should have more self control. Now run along. We can speak more after the festival.”

Twilight nodded, knowing well when to leave. “Let’s go Spike,” Twilight said, walking away. The baby dragon dutifully followed her.

“Umm… ell-tee? Still pinned down here,” Lyra said. With only a thought, the light warjack released the mint green unicorn from being pinned to the ground. “Thanks.”

“The least I could do,” Rarity replied, watching the unicorn go. Lyra stood beside her, watching the duo as well. “Chief, did you know that Twilight Sparkle is Celestia’s Most Faithful student. A student of magic, no less.”

“Who studies magic this day and age?” Lyra asked dismissfully. “You either do it, or you don’t. Simple as that.”

“Should be,” Rarity replied. “It’s still taught at universities, though.”

“Yeah, I took it in university. You have to understand the basic theory if you’re going to work on something like warjacks. The professor they have at Canterlot U was a right female dog if you asked me. Pretty sure she’s an expat from her accent,” Lyra stated. “Why?”

“Miss Sparkle claimed to be a professor of magic. Don’t you find that odd?” Rarity asked.

“You know what’s really odd?” Lyra asked. “She took control of that light warjack and pinned me to the ground like it’s nothing. Nothing! I’ve been studying steamjack engineering since conscription and I can barely move around our old laborjack.”

“Yes. Odd that they haven’t tapped her for the Strategic Academy. Such a gift would have manifested much earlier in life, or under conditions far more stressful than this one,” Rarity said. “Oh well. Consider yourself properly chastised and get a PFC or a specialist to find some privates to get the jacks polished. We’ve only got until tonight to get everything into position.”

“Yes ma’am,” Lyra replied. “Hey BonBon! Stop flirting and get some BOTtards to polish these warjacks!”

Chapter 3

“So, next up is the catering,” Spike said, looking through the checklist. “Say, Twilight, why didn’t you make this checklist sooner?”

“It slipped my mind,” Twilight replied as she lead the duo down the unpaved road. “Trust me Spike, checklists end up being more trouble then they’re worth for me.”

“That’s…”

“Creepy and happy, Spike,” Twilight said quickly. “You wouldn’t want me to be creepy and unhappy, would you?”

“It’s because that militia pony kicked your flank, isn’t it?” Spike asked, to which Twilight gave nothing but a disapproving groan.

The farm was just as large as it was when Twilight first walked up to it. Rows upon rows of apple trees were spread out as far as the eye could see, providing Ponyville with one of its few major exports. Soon enough she would meet the proprietor of the farm, be stuffed with apple products, and then find that the rest of the pieces necessary to fulfill the ancient prophecy would be in place, save for her ‘making some friends’.

“Joy,” Twilight thought to herself.

“YEE HAW!” An all too happy voice exclaimed, before well trained instinct took over and Twilight ducked to the ground. A gust of wind and a rainbow-blue blue just barely missed Twilight’s head, instead dashing through orchard sweeping every apple in its path. Looking up, her hair being blown by a powder blue tornado with rainbow streaks. The tornado guided itself towards a very large bucket, before slowing down gradually, letting the apples fall into it gently.

The pony responsible for it landed on the ground, giving a slight bow.

“Rainbow… Dash?” Twilight asked, completely confused. She was expecting an apple… not Rainbow Dash wearing a cowboy hat and seeming all too pleased with herself.

“Th’ genuine article, if I do say so m’self. Rainbow “Zap Apple” Dash, at your service,” the pegasus replied.
“I’m sorry, but… what?” Twilight asked, the full brunt of her cynicism beginning to come to the fore. “Seriously, what?! I was coming here expecting Applejack and the Apple family reunion, not… not this! Why the hay are you wearing her hat?!”

“Is this ‘cause I’m a pegasus?!” Rainbow Dash asked, suddenly getting in Twilight’s face. The pegasus began to aggressive advance, causing Twilight to back up step by step as the other mare kept moving forward. “Just ‘cause I have these here fancy wings doesn’t mean I can’t apple buck an’ drink an’ wrassle wit’ any good ol’ Earth Pony. Granted, I found a much more awesome way to buck than just hittin’ trees... ‘cause I’m awesome… but that there is still tribalist BS! I’m as Apple as any Apple born, if not more!”

“Umm… miss…” Spike began, continuing to follow the two. Twilight had managed to let herself get backed up to the gate of Sweet Apple Acres, looking around somewhat nervously as Rainbow Dash had her wings outstretched in full pegasus aggression.

“Now, unless ya’ got any real business, you’d be very wise to stay off’a my land,” she said, ending the sentence with a stomp.

“Umm… miss… we kinda’ do,” Spike said, earning a glare from Rainbow Dash. He gave a ‘come here’ motion with his fingers, and the pegasus began turned around and walked with him a little distance back into the farm. The two gave Twilight a glance, to which she gave an all too innocent and obviously fake smile. The two began to lean in and whisper to each other.

“Twilight’s been out of sorts lately. We’re here to check on the catering for the Summer Sun Festival,” Spike said.

“So that’s why she’s talkin’ ‘bout AJ?” Spike nodded as though he know who AJ was, to which Rainbow Dash scoffed. “Typical city folk. Actin’ as though everything’s gotta happen right now. Why couldn’t she say that up front?”

“Well, I’m not sure how much of it is being a city mare… and how much of it is being OCD. Or CDO. She gets very strange about that sort of thing,” Spike said.

“Science type?” Rainbow Dash asked, curious.

“Arcane, actually. And kinda weird. She’s been getting a lot weirder though. Almost crazy… well, crazier than normal. She’s never been all there, but…”

“Are ya’ sure you should be sayin’ that ‘bout kin?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s evesdropping with her magic right now,” Spike said. The two gave a look back, just in time for the glow to fade from the unicorn’s horn. Twilight practically squeaked with feigned ignorance, her smile was sofake.

“Okay, so she’s takin’ us talkin’ behind her back well. What’s she to the Princess, anywho?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Only the Princess’s most faithful student.” Spike said, with obvious pride in his voice.

Rainbow Dash then plastered on a fake smile. “Well, why didn’t ya say so? Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres.”

Twilight gave her a skeptical look. “Really? Just like that?”

“Oh yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, nodding her head vigorously. “I was just right unneighborly, an’ that ain’t at all justified. This is just me tryin’ to be a good neighbor and all, and has absolutely nothing to do with th’ fact that you work for the mare who could shut m’ family down with a single stroke of the pin.”

Twilight continued to give Dash a suspicious look, before noticing how the mare’s eyes were shifting and her mouth was screwed up tight. Twilight then gave a serene smile.

“You know what, Rainbow Dash? You’re right. We should be neighborly,” Twilight said, mischief entering into her voice. “Especially since Princess Celestia is like a second mom to me. Heck, she spends more time with me than my real mom! So why don’t go and see about how the apples are coming for the Summer Sun Festival. Which is the festival of Celestia, my second mom, who will be attending personally.”

“Ah… well… o’course! O’course! Right this way, ma’am!” Rainbow Dash said, before leading the way to the farm.

“That was evil,” Spike said, looking up at Twilight.

“At this point, I’m pretty darn close to not caring,” Twilight replied, before she began to follow Rainbow Dash. The purple unicorn spoke up, directing her talking at the pegasus. “We won’t be here very long,” Twilight assured Rainbow Dash. “Where’s Applejack?”

“In the house over yonder,” Rainbow Dash replied. “It’s a little bit of a walk, but I’m sure ya’ll can take it.”

“Is there anything cool and neat to see?” Spike asked.

“Well, there’s an apple tree. An’ over there’s an apple tree too. An’ over there’s another apple tree. An’ over there’s Jenny, she’s the one most of this grove’s descended from,” Rainbow Dash continued, even as Twilight and Spike noticed a strange looking apple tree that seemed to have a pony’s face carved into it, watching them with its wooden eyes.

“Umm… are these magic?” Twilight asked.

“Only th’ named ones,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Fair warnin’, they don’t like being prayed to. Talkin’ to ‘em’s fine, if the mood strikes ya’.”

“Ooo… kaaay…” Twilight drawled out. “So… ‘Zap Apple’.”

“What’s a zap apple?” Spike asked.

“Only th’ most awesome apple. Which is why I’m called ‘Zap Apple’ by th’ rest o’ the Apple clan. ‘Cause I’m th’ most awesome pegasus there is,” Rainbow Dash said, with obvious pride.

“And where is the rest of the Apple Family?” Twilight asked.

“Well, some of ‘em’s out negotiatin’ with th’ Buffalo ‘bout startin’ up a new town,” Rainbow Dash said. “Most of ‘em just won’t have anything t’ do with Sweet Apple Acres, though.”

Twilight was puzzled by that response. “Why?”

“Do you know what all happened to AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight shook her head, at which point the pegasus went into full story mode.

“Well, when she was little an’ all, she ran away to ‘the big city’. She went an’ got all caught up in the hustle an’ bustle an’ fancy book learnin’ when she was little, then the speak easies an’ easy stallions when she got all teenage years. The fact that she was with those Oranges and their seducin’ ways didn’t help none,” Rainbow Dash explained.

“… easy stallions?” Twilight asked. She caught all of it, but that part seemed to jump out at her.

“Yeah, them skihs ya’ see at those jazz shows. Anyway, one day she sobered up an’ decided to go back home to the homestead. She ain’t worth much when it comes t’ buckin’, but boy she’s got a head for advertisin’ and lawyerin’. Ooh, an’ cider! Girl knows how t’ make all sorts of good ciders,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Okay… I still don’t see how that ends with no family reunion,” Twilight said.

“It’s ‘cause th’ Apples an’ th’ Oranges can’t put ol’ grudges aside,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d say it’s cause everyone in the clan thinks that AJ is one of them big city flappers and won’t have anything t’ do with her, but that’d be lyin’. It’s cause they think she’s an Orange. Heck, I got to know her aunt an’ uncle, an’ they’re decent sort. But nopny can let sleepin’ dogs lye, ya’ know?”

“I guess,” Twilight said with a shrug. As they approached the house, Rainbow Dash seemed to panic.

“Ah no. The kid’s are wanderin’ towards the Everfree again,” Rainbow Dash said, with a hint of panic in her voice. “AJ’s in th’ house, takin’ care o’ books I’m sure. I gotta go!” The pegasus lauched herself, flying towards the forest at full speed. “Applebloom! Sweetie Belle! Scootaloo! Ya’ll three g’t back here this instant or a’ swear I’ll tell ya’ll’s folks that you’re goin’ int’ the wild!”

Twilight and Spike looked at each other, giving each other a shrug as they walked onto the porch of the house. Granny Smith was rocking in a chair, lightly sleeping, until Twilight’s hoof hit the floor.

“Oh…uh… wa’?” Granny Smith asked.

“Um… hello,” Twilight said.

“Oh. Are ya’ll friends of little Zappy? I raised her m’self, ya’ know, after m’ son an’ his wife died,” Granny Smith said.

Twilight and Spike paused at the revalation, before Twilight gave Granny Smith a friendly smile. “Sorry, no. We’re here for the Summer Sun Festival.”

“Oh! Ya’ll are th’ caterin’ folks. AJ’s inside. Girl’s makin’ good too, ya’ know. M’ daughter’s done me proud with that one,” Granny Smith said. She seemed to daze off a bit, before looking at Twilight again. “Oh, don’t let m’ go an’ bother ya’ ‘bout all that. G’t inside and help yourself t’ some cookies and lemonade.”

“Do you need anything?” Spike asked.

“Mmm… some water, maybe,” Granny Smith said.

“Thank you ma’am,” Twilight said, before pushing the door open and walking inside. “Come on Spike.”

“Actually, I think I’ll help this lady out, if you don’t mind,” Spike said, before Twilight smiled.

“I knew I raised a good young dragon,” Twilight replied, causing Spike to blush. “I’ll get you when I’m done then.”
~ ~ ~
Twilight knew when somebody was obsessing over something. She knew obsession, suffered from it, and on occasion used the obsessions of others to gain… optimal results. So she was surprised when she saw Applejack hunched over books, obsessing over numbers, muttering about things like ‘stock’ and ‘buyers’. The differences were apparent in that mane hair was cut in a bob, almost colt like. She also seemed to like clothing, wearing a light green dress, pink collar shirt and green jacket, all with apple embroidery. It was cut differently then any clothing that Twilight had seen, although it seemed to fit each other fairly well for a look that was somehow casual despite pony attitudes towards clothes.

Of course, Twilight had worked on her curtosy. So she knocked on the door, rather than barging in. Everything had been so different that she might as well play it safe, after all.

Applejack was startled by the knocking, before turning around and smiling. “Ah, I’m sorry about that. I got a bit distracted. I’m Applejack. What can I do for you?” It was unusual to hear her speaking with a Manehatten accent, although her grammar was almost too correct.

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m here on behalf of Princess Celestia,” Twilight said.

“Ah… applesauce…” Applejack said, looking back and forth a little bit as though to see if anyone else was in the room. She then leaned forward, almost whispering. “This isn’t because of the bootleg cider, is it?”

Twilight was quiet for a moment. “No, it isn’t.”

“… and this isn’t because you got all spifflicated by bootleg cider?”

“Why would that be a big deal?” Twilight asked, confused.

“Why WOULD it be a big deal,” Applejack replied with a grin. “Well, since we’re on the up and up, what’s the word?”

“I’m just here to check on the catering,” Twilight said. “It’s a big party, after all, and a good opportunity for business to come Sweet Apple’s way.”

“Oh, I know,” Applejack said with a grin. “The other Apples don’t see, but I’m going to bring this outfit into the new century! “

“Great, now just let me see your books and…”

“And now we’re going into problems,” Applejack said, quickly blocking Twilight Sparkle from going forward. Twilight looked up, which Applejack blocked with her own. Twilight did the same from the side, with the same results. She moved to the other side, and began to notice the pattern.

“You’re not entirely honest, are you?” Twilight asked.

“Listen gams, there’s a lot of action going on in Ponyville. And your Big Cheese is my Big Cheese, and she has business that she can’t have all those Mrs. Grundies in the Senate nosing into. So unless you’re going to neck me, I’d appreciate it if you’d get off my case.”

The gears began turning in Twilight’s head, before she smiled. “Oh! Oh, okay. I understand completely. Books appear to be completely in order.”

“Now you’re on the trolley!” Applejack said with a broad grin.

“But you know… I might need a little bit of catering too,” Twilight Sparkle said.

“… what sort of catering?” Applejack asked with a slight frown.

“I’ve developed a bit of a sweet tooth,” Twilight said with a grin, before opening her saddle bag and pulling out her coin purse with her telekinesis. She then pulled out several of the larger coins, floating them in front of the buisnessmare. “I’d like some of that Sweet Apple Cider. The bubbly kind.”

Applejack hmmed for a moment. “I don’t know. Seems like you’d like something else.”

“I’ll also need pure alcohol for sterilizing instruments, as much as you can make. I’m a scientist, after all, and I need to stay properly supplied. I would rather buy local than from some faceless distrubtor in Canterlot, support my local buisnessmares….”

“You’re a Darb, you know that,” Applejack replied. “Put the coins on the books, and we have a deal. Assuming it ain’t a double cross, of course.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that,” Twilight replied. “I have my vices. Speaking of which, how are you supplying the food? It’s not like the entire Apple clan is here.”

Applejack chuckled. “Trade secre… ah, who am I kidding? There’s a mare in town by the name of Dianne. Kinda off, but a real sweetie pie if you get to know her. She may not be an Unicorn, but her food is just magical.”

“I’ll have to give it a try,” Twilight said.

“That you should. Now, I’d hate to do this to you, but we can’t be beating our gums all day like a couple of stallions,” Applejack said.

“Of course. Have a good day,” Twilight said, before walking away from the room.

“You too! And tell Granny Smith I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Applejack replied, before turning to her books. “Now… I should probably move my stock since the new mare’s had a chance to scope out the farm…”

~ ~ ~

“An’ that’s how Equestria was made!” Granny Smith finished, a satisfied grin on her face.

“Wow!” Spike replied, clearly amazed. “I didn’t realize it involved so many ponies.”

“Oh yes. One pony, one being, isn’t enough to do such a momentous thing. You need friends, is what I’s saying! Hehehe. In all m’ time as Princess Celestia’s Earth pony student, that was one lesson that I truly took to heart,” Granny Smith said, before rocking back and forth on her chair.

“How did you become Princess Celestia’s student?” Spike asked.

“Oh, that’s ‘nother story for ‘nother day,” Granny Smith replied.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“’cause your sister’s here, sonny!” Granny Smith exclaimed with a grin, before looking over to Twilight. Sure enough, she had just finished walking down the stairs, giving Granny Smith a smile.

“Thank you very much for watching after Spike, Granny Smith,” Twilight said to the seemingly older mare.

“Oh, it’s no problem. No problem at all,” Granny Smith replied. “He’s a sweet young boy, you know.”

“I know. Applejack says she'll be down her in a few minutes, by the way,” Twilight said.

“Oh, she should stop putting her head in those books and come down here now. Always muttering about this or that, like somepony’s got a bounty on her. But the Princess took care of that, she did,” Granny Smith said. “But look at me ramble. Where’re you heading off to?”

“Ranger Fluttershy,” Twilight said. “Would you happen to know where she lives?”

“Oh, over yonder,” Granny Smith said, using a cane to point to the edge of the Everfree. “You’ll know where she lives when you find it. Such a sweet young mare. A little bit crazy, though. She doesn’t belong in the sanitarium, to be sure, but being so close to that old wound in the world can’t be healthy for ya’.”

Twilight was quiet at the words, taking them in, before nodding. “I suppose so. I’ll have to see for myself, though. Come along, Spike.”

Twilight and Spike began walking away, leaving Granny Smith to sake her head.

“May the gods help that poor old mare. She really doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into,” the older Earth pony said, smiling to herself. “Well, time to put on the soup…”

Chapter 4

Twilight Sparkle walked along the road, Spike in tow like he always was at this time of his life. She was sure that she would find someone at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, we are going to be talking to a Ranger, but still… Princess Celestia is one of the last Everfree ponies for a good reason,” Spike said.

“Everfree ponies?” Twilight asked, walking forward. She kept walking forward, but upon not hearing Spike following along, she turned around and looked at him. “Spike?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Spike asked.

“I’m perfectly fine,” Twilight replied.

“No you’re not,” Spike said. “You’ve been acting weird, and now you’re forgetting kid stuff.”

“I have not!” Twilight replied.

“Then what’s the Copper Empire?” Spike asked.

“It’s… it’s something that doesn’t matter right now,” Twilight replied.

“Current events, Twilight! It’s in the newspaper and the history books, the ones that you obsessively read,” Spike said.

“I have a lot on my mind right now,” Twilight replied, turning around and walking towards the forest.

“Oh, no. Anypony else, yes. The Princess, maybe. But not you, Twilight. You’re a font of useless knowledge and magic,” Spike said.

“It’s not useless!” Twilight yelled at him.

“Yes it is! You’re sick, Twilight. You do not need to be running around the Everfree, chasing after the pony who is specifically trained to survive in it,” Spike said.

“You know what, Spike. You’re right. I should go home,” Twilight said, completely calm.

“Good to see that you’re finally agreeing with me,” Spike said.

“After I check Fluttershy’s home. If she's not home, then she's out doing her job. But we have to at least try. We were given a royal duty, after all,” Twilight said. She then walked away with a look of smugness on her face.

“Dangit, she’s using logic,” Spike muttered.

~ ~ ~

Twilight and Spike made their way to the house, which appeared to be kind of like a giant tree house. Except this time the giant tree house was in fact on stilts. And not made out of a tree. So really it wasn’t a tree house at all, even though Twilight thought of it as such.

“Why is it on stilts? Normally you see that only on the coasts,” Twilight said.

“That so that I can see the fires,” a breathy, feminine voice replied.

“Oh, so that’s why it’s…” Twilight looked to her side, to see a familiar yellow face that was all too close staring straight through her.

“Hello.”

Twilight screamed.

“Oh, did I scare you?” Fluttershy asked.

“YOU’RE COVERED IN BLOOD!” Twilight replied. “WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BLOOD?!”

The yellow pegasus looked down at her own clothes. It appeared as though she was wearing some sort of green button shirt, but it was covered in a green, ichorious substance. “You have a good eye. Most ponies wouldn’t recognize it as blood.”

“BUT WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN IT?!”

“Hey Flutterhy what’s all this comoHOLY HANNAH,” the voice of Rainbow Dash yelled.

Fluttershy, Spike and Twilight around to see the four familiar ponies. Rainbow Dash was flying above the three, who Twilight recognized. Applebloom, Applejack’s little sister. Scootaloo, who was an avid fan of Rainbow Dash to almost creepy levels even after she became her own mare. And Sweetie Belle, who was still just as sweet a mare in adulthood as she was a filly.

The fact Rainbow Dash was acting like their baby sitter early would explain why Scootaloo was wearing a small green Stetson and neckerchief herself.

“I thought I should let you know that these trouble makers were wanderin’ into the Everfree, but what the hay happen’d t’ ya?” the cowmare asked.

“I had to kill a spider to keep the fillies from being eatened,” Fluttershy said, looking distantly. Almost past the trio of fillies and their pegasus caretaker. “It was much too far from its habitat. Something had displaced it, and it was going to wander out. It was probably a trap door spider before it wandered so deep into the Zone of Alienation. Then the bad magic mutated it.”

“Uh… huh…”the four said.

“When spiders get ahold of their prey, they wrap the prey inside of a silk cocoon. They then inject the prey with acidic venom that turns them into goo while the prey is still alive. Then the spiders slurp up the goo. Slurp. Slurp.” Fluttershy said, making the slurping sounds far too cute for something so horrifying. Everyone around her just sort of looked at her in shock. “I’m not sure about trop door spiders, though. I’m pretty sure they use deadly neurotoxin. But they still suck out your insides.

“Ponies get to be prey sized for those spiders at about your age,” Fluttershy said, finally looking at them. “You’re prey size for a lot of things. Like Goblins. Goblins will use their evil enchantments to lure you into their lairs, where they will chop you up and turn you into a big, tasty stew. You’re the perfect size for that sort of thing.”

“H… how do ya’ know?” Applebloom asked.

“Because I tracked them. I track a lot of things,” Fluttershy replied.

“Umm… I’m guessin’ that it’s high time we all be goin’. Before ya’ give ‘em nightmares and stuff,” Rainbow Dash said. “Move along, fillies.”

“Be sure keep working on your nature badge so I can sign off on it!” Fluttershy replied cheerfully as the group of four quickly departed for Sweet Apple Acres. At that point Fluttershy began to sniffle, seeming to be on the verge of tears.

“Do you have a bath?” Twilight asked.

“Yes,” Fluttershy replied, seeming ready to run away now.

“Lets get you cleaned up, then,” Twilight replied, before grinning a little bit. “You’re a Ranger, so lead the way.”

~ ~ ~

It took a little while to get Fluttershy into the bathroom, ready to get cleaned up. Spike, the ever dutiful dragon, simply sat outside to give the girls some privacy. While he knew intellectually that seeing a pony female wet and naked was little different from seeing them dry and naked, there was just something about two girls bathing that made him feel… funny.

Which was exactly the reason why Twilight was going to indulge a little.

“Now it’s time to get you naked!” Twilight yelled.

“Umm… are you sure it’s such a…. eep!” Fluttershy meekly replied.

“Oh, don’t worry Fluttershy. I’ve done this lots of times,” Twilight said. She used her magic to levitate the pegasus mare, who was struggling against it. “If you stop struggling this part will go by a lot faster.”

“Okay,” Fluttershy replied, stopping her movements in the air. While she was still Twilight used her magic to deftly remove the ranger’s ichor soaked uniform, struggling a little bit around the wings but ultimately getting it off. It fell to the ground with a wet splat, getting on her as well.

“Eww! Now it’s on me too,” Twilight said.

“Well maybe if you weren’t in a rush to get me wet it wouldn’t have happened!” Fluttershy replied, before blushing. “Oh, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Twilight sighed, letting the pegasus back down on the ground. She began to turn on the facet water, letting the bath get warm. She then switched on the shower. “You seem awfully assertive sometimes,” Twilight noted.

“Sorry,” Fluttershy replied.

“It’s fine. I kind of like it,” Twilight said. “As long as you don’t go overboard.”

“Oh, I would never do that on purpose,” Fluttershy said, walking into the shower. She sighed, letting the hot water flow over her and the ichor rinse off. “I sometimes have to be mean. I don’t like being mean.”

“It means you’re still a good pony,” Twilight said, looking around a little bit. “Where’s your soap?”

“In the cabinet. I like using L’Occitane en Provence,” Fluttershy said, her eyes closed as she enjoyed the warm water.

Twilight opened the cabinet, floating out several of different kinds from what was apparently the same brand. She looked for one something in particular, noticing a translation in Equestrian. “Liquid Almond. Nice.” She quickly got to work reading a sponge.

“I think so,” Fluttershy absently replied. She then eeped as she felt Twilight suddenly apply the sponge to her fur, as well as the scrubbing. She then began to giggle. “That tickles!”

“I’M SORRY!” Spike yelled from outside the door, before the two mares heard him running away.

Fluttershy looked at Twilight, then the door. She then looked from the door to Twilight. After repeating the process, she finally figured out what happened.

“You’re mean,” the soft spoken pegasus pronounced.

Twilight broke out into a fit of giggles. Upon seeing the pegasus gently glare at her, the unicorn smile. “Oh, come on. I’m just teasing him. Besides, you have to admit that it’s a little funny when you think about it.”

Fluttershy looked to the side, before giving a slight smile. “Maybe.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence as Twilight worked the sponge over Fluttershy’s body. Fluttershy was always considered attractive into Twilight’s home world, although here it was in a completely different way. She was more muscular, her body honed for fighting. A number of small scars ran across it, and even a couple of larger ones. Her cutie mark, those same three butterflies, had lines of darkness running through them from what Twilight guessed was a clawing that magic didn’t quite heal right.

“You see them now, don’t you?” Fluttershy asked, not looking at Twilight.

“Are they from your job?” Twilight asked. Fluttershy nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” Fluttershy shook her head.

Twilight sighed, seeing where this was going. She sat on the ground, letting her magic go from the sponge as she used what was now a minor cantrip to materialize a pen and paper. For some reason it took more out of her then she intended, but she wouldn’t let that deter her. “OK Fluttershy, I know you may not know this yet, but you’re my friend and I’m here to help. So, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Well, it all began in foalhood,” Fluttershy said.

Twilight nodded. “Uh-huh.”

Fluttershy responded with silence as the shower kept on going. Twilight let it go on, before leaning forward a little.

“It all began in foalhood and…”

Fluttershy looked away, shying away from Twilight and going towards the opposite edge of the shower.

“Ugh… Fluttershy, I’m here to help,” Twilight said.

“That’s what everypony says,” Fluttershy replied. “I don’t like it when they say that.”

“Why not?” Twilight asked.

“Because when they don’t what to be my friends. Not when they find out who I am,” Fluttershy replied.

“And that would be… well, Ranger is a apparently a pretty dangerous job to have,” Twilight said with a shrug.

“You don’t know?” Fluttershy asked.

“Know what?” Twilight replied, before giving a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I spend all my time in the Canterlot Library.”

Fluttershy nodded. “That must be nice. Do you read newspapers?”

“Of course I…” Twilight stopped mid-sentence, only to note the gleeful express on Fluttershy’s face.

Fluttershy was suddenly far too close. Staring her straight in the eye. Staring straight into her soul. She then slowly moved away, smiling.

“I understand,” the gentle pegasus said. “We’re going to be good friends.”

“Um… yeah?” Twilight said. “Didn’t I already say that? I want to be your friend.”

“But you’re not from around here,” Fluttershy said.

“Well yeah. I’m from… Canterlot,” Twilight said, painfully aware that she had to keep from saying that she was from Ponyville or someplace that didn’t exist yet.

“You’re not from Canterlot either,” Fluttershy said. “You’re from somewhere else.”

Twilight was struck dumb by the way that Fluttershy said the phrase ‘somewhere else’. She knew, somehow. Which meant… “How much do you know?”

“You’re a good pony. You’re from somewhere else. And we’re going to be good friends. All done,” Fluttershy replied, before stepping out of the shower. She then squeed. “We can go to the spa together!”

“Umm… yeah Fluttershy. Sure. The spa," Twilight replied hesitantly. She then smiled. "Hey, we should bring Rainbow Dash or Zap Apple or whatever she's calling herself along as well. And maybe Rarity. Then Rarity could make clothes and force Rainbow Dash to model them. And you could suggest ideas to Rarity so that Rainbow Dash always dresses in style. Like your own life size pony doll, except with an attention problem."

"Yay!"

~ ~ ~

Spike had gone past worrying now. The talk between the two had elicited strange, sexy thoughts. Thoughts which disturbed him greatly, because it didn’t matter if he was a dragon and she’s a pony, Twilight is the older sister darn it! But those thoughts were not what made him go past worrying. Because out of all the worst possible things that could happen, the worst possible thing was happening:

Twilight Sparkle was now in the full swing of puberty.

She had gotten a lot less scrawny, and her voice was a lot less prone to cracking. She was experiencing mood swings and other strange behavior. Now she was establishing a “Class S” relationship with another filly, and Spike just knew that in a few months she’d be head over heels for some stallion.

And everypony who was this close to Twilight feared the day that she experiences her first messy break up.

He went to Twilight’s discarded saddle bags, taking out a piece of paper and a pencil.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Code Pink Heart.

-Spike

Breathing in, he washed the piece of paper with a teleporting flame. Except instead of being transported to the Princess, it simply sat there.

“Weird,” Spike said to himself. He blew his magic fire over the note, only to have it remain stubbornly in hand. He then began breathing as much fire as he could over it, increasingly despret, until he felt himself light headed.

“Okay. Something’s wrong,” Spike said, walking around. “This never happened to me before after the Princess taught me how to my fire right. Maybe… maybe the Princess is busy. Or something. Maybe it’s me?”

Spike sighed, leaning up against the wall. “I just don’t know anymore.”

There was a light tapping on the window. Spike looked over at it, to see a pink earth pony with a flat mane in a light blue Moonanite dress giving him a friendly smile and a wave.

Spike waved back.

She then made a motion for the door, saying something through the window. Spike didn’t know who she was, but she seemed friendly enough. Maybe the pink pony and the ranger were friends?

Spike moved to let the strange pony in.

“Thank you, sir,” the pink said.

“Oh, uh, your welcome,” Spike replied. “I’m Spike. Who are you?”

“I’m Dianne. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Spike,” she said, giving him a slight bow.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Spike replied, happy that the pony was being friendly. “So, do you know the ranger here?”

“Oh, yes I do. I was going to tell her that I am going to offer the Scout troop free cookies at the bakery, in case she wanted to have some. But now that you’re here, maybe you could lead me to your… how would you say it?” Diane asked.

“My sister?” Spike asked. “What need to talk with her about?”

At that point Twilight step out of the door with Fluttershy, both smiling and talking about something. Twilight stopped cold though, as Dianne looked at her with a gleeful smile that seemed too wide for a normal ponies.

“We’re going to plan the best welcome home party ever!”

Chapter 5

It was still night outside. Ponies, and plenty of non-ponies, were milling about under the brightly lit streets of Ponyville. The restaurants were filled past capacity, with many beings eating in the parks with their friends. Most of the activity was centered around the newly raised plaza just outside of the town proper, which had been built for that purpose. There were even a large number of speakers distributed throughout the park, all wired and set up to be moved easily and adjusted as needed. A familiar white unicorn was overseeing the music, dressed in an unusual high collared shirt. She was bickering with Pinkie Pie, who was in a much more conservative dress.

Between writing in her journal quickly to keep from loosing any data in case she died, and trying to coordinate the plan with the pony she considered Pinkie Pie but who insisted on being called some foreign name. Which still left one question.

“What exactly does Pinkie mean by ‘The Chose One’?” Twilight asked.

“Pinkie?” Applejack asked, before lighting up. “Oh, you mean Diane. Something from her weirdo religion I guess.”

“It’s not some ‘wierdo religion’. I’ve met plenty o’ good zebreas who are moon worshipers, an’ plenty of good ponies who do the same,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Yeah, but it’s still a Northern religion. And those are pretty darn weird if you ask me,” Applejack said. “I still can’t make heads or tails of that prophecy she spat out so quick.”

“Well, there’s several sects and religions that believe time happens in distinct eras,” Rainbow Dash began. “Th’ moon worshipers believe that every generation, there’s a great hero. A little less then a messiah, I guess. Apparently, you’re th’ one who’ll save their patron.”

“And how exactly do you know all this, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “The farm’s hard work, but there’s a lot of time where there’s nothing to do. Unlike somepony, I didn’t run off for my entire foalhood.”

“Just for the two years right after, Zap Apple,” Applejack said, a little venom in her voice.

Twilight looked between the two. “Is this some sort of family thing?”

“No.” “Yes.”

There was a moment of silence between the two Apple mares.

“Yes.” “No.”

Applejack sighed. “I ran away, and Zappy gets adopted. I come back, and she runs away with that white unicorn to discover herself.”

Rainbow Dash was quiet for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah, it was sort of like that. Can we please just drop it an’ all f’r right now? The celebration’s supposed to be a happy time.”

“Okay then,” Twilight said, before looking at Rainbow Dash. “So what exactly should I call you? I keep hearing ponies call you ‘Zap Apple’, but some of them call you ‘Dash’.”

“You already know the name my parents gave me an’ called me by before they… well… yeah. Th’ Apples call me Zappy or Zap Apple, but during flight school an’ while I was travellin’ I called m’self Rainbow Dash, so most ponies know me by that an’ my records are still set f’r it. I don’t mind either way.” She said.

“Fillies, gentlecolts, and civilized non-equine creatures! May I have your attention please!” The pony Twilight recognized as Mayor Mare said through a microphone. “It has been my pleasure as the Mayor of Ponyville to see us through our best year yet. And to cap it all off, we shall end the year with the biggest Summer Sun Festival yet!”

A drum roll began as the Mayor made a sweeping, circular gesture with her forearm. “And now, it is my pleasure to present, Princess Celestia!”

The drum roll ended, and the Equestrian national anthem began. It went on for a dozen seconds, before the Mayor made the same gesture. “Princess Celestia!”

Applejack looked around, as the crowd began to murmur. “Something’s wrong.”

“Princess Celestia!”

“Well no kiddin’,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“PRINCESS CELESTIA!”

An evil cackle filled the air, and everyone in the town square began to look around.

“Well, well, well. A thousand years, and yet so much remains the same. … Except the nudity. That’s new,” a femine voice said.

“What’s that?!” Applejack yelled.

“Remembered that pony I’m supposed to save?” Twilight asked.

“The prophecy’s a real thing?!”

“… and what if I told you that won’t be the weirdest thing you find out tonight?” Twilight asked.
In a puff of starlit smoke, she appeared. She was a pony a head taller than Princess Celestia. She appeared even larger with her intimidating armor. It was a sort of iron plate armor, and at least four individual plates protected her neck. Her legs were covered with the iron bands of greeves over chain mail, though her shoulders and flank were covered with their own large, studded plate. Her wings, in contrast, were covered in diamond patterned scale mail, although to what extent Twilight couldn’t be sure. Her head was covered by a single helm, neck guard flaring out from it. Her horn poked through the helmet, in front of a large circular plate embossed with the image of the moon. Her hair was as night, glimmering with stars and the light of the moon, flowing from her neck guard and down her armored back. Her face was covered by an intimating mask, a stylized pony’s muzzle with vampire like fangs jutting out from her upper jaw. The armor itself was studded with red gems, embossed to a deep blue with white patterns of strange constellations.

The ponies in the open air plaza began to back away, unsure of what to make of the heavily armored party crasher. Pinkie and her unicorn companion stood unnaturally still, their faces telling clearly the rapture that they were experiencing. Rainbow Dash, for her part, stood her ground with Twilight, while Applejack moved to be shielded by the unicorn but not completely away from her.

“Well, not the welcome home I was expecting. But I suppose that it shall have to do,” the strange pony said.

“Who are you?” the terrified mayor asked, backing away from the stand.

“Who am I? WHO AM I?! THOU DAREST TO ASK WHO I AM?!” the armored alicorn roared. She cackled as the mayor fled. “Come now, my little ponies. It should not be hard. For every day, there must be a night. For the sun, there must be the moon. And for dear, misguided Celestia, there must be…”

“Night Mare Moon!” Twilight Sparkle replied, thunder punctuating her proclamation.

The corrupted mare laughed. “Oh, yes. Perhaps there was a time when I would have answered to that title. But I have had much time to meditate upon these things.” She then began walk down. “I have taken the time to observe the empire, such as it is. It has grown soft and weak. Ponies have forgotten that Equestria was forged through blood and sweat and steel. They have lost their ambition. And now, after a thousand years of banishment, I shall remind them.

“No more coddling! IT IS HIGH TIME FOR EQUESTRIA TO BE RULED BY A TRUE EMPRESS! AND I, QUEEN LUNA, SHALL BE THAT MONARCH!” She said, before swaggering up to Twilight. She then leaned down, even as Rainbow Dash and Applejack backed up, coming eye to eye with Twilight Sparkle through her intimidating mask. “So what are you going to do to stop me, my little pony?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Twilight replied.

“As I… really?” Luna asked, taken by surprised.

“Oh yes. I shall not do a thing against you,” Twilight replied, as she began to walk around the confused pony.

“But the prophecy said…”

“The prophecy said that you shall return. That you shall destroy the new order, and restore the ways of old, and begin an eternal night,” Twilight began.

“Well, yes. Metaphorically speaking…” Luna replied.

“And that you shall destroy the old institutions, even marriage. And that you’ll teach ponies new ways of pleasure,” Twilight continued.

“… what?”

“And from their careless reveling shall be birthed a new generation, and that Queen Luna, Goddess of Lust and Fertility, shall preside over, teaching them the ways of pleasure and pain regardless of gender or species.”

“WHAT?!”

“Oh, I can’t take much more of this. TAKE ME, MY NIGHTTIME QUEEN!” Twilight yelled, jumping up to tackle hug the self declared monarch of Equestria.

“NEIGH!” Luna replied. She raised a bubble shield right as Twilight was about hug her, and used her telekinesis to throw the unicorn. Twilight twisted in midair, landing on her hooves even as she slid back a little.

"Get out of here, now. Get help," Twilight said to Rainbow Dash and Applejack. The two ponies nodded, quickly running from the scene.

“THOU DAREST MOCKS ME?!” Luna yelled at the unicorn.

“You deserve to be mocked!” Twilight replied. “Now what have you done to Princess Celestia?”

Luna laughed. Not cackle. Not chuckle. Just laugh a subtle, even laugh. “Oh, well, I was sent to the moon. Being so close to the source of my power for a thousand years has done such wonders for me. So I sent her to the source of her power. May her skin slough off, and rest in pain, wishing for the release of death from the fires of the sun, but never receiving it.”

The night was beginning to fade into day. The stars, one by one, were winking out as a much brighter source of light began it’s slow assent above the horizon. And at that moment, Twilight felt something that she had never felt before.

She felt true righteous anger.

Gathering the magic that she had, she blasted out a heavy attack spell at the mare. It hit her armor, and four of the bejeweled constellations glowed brightly. It broke Luna’s mask, causing the wayward princess to flinch, but the moment it touched her fur the offensive magical energies were redirected to the moon crest, which blasted back at Twilight. A simple teleportation spell popped Twilight out of existence, and she stood above the other mare from the raised platform which Celestia was supposed to be standing on.

“What’s this?” Luna asked. She didn’t seem shocked or particularly angered. She seemed curious. Ponies and other creatures ran, though some stayed behind, ducking behind tables and watching from houses.

“I was considering letting this play out like forty years ago. But not this time!” Twilight yelled.

“Thirty years… wait…” Luna said, before giving Twilight a vicious grin. “How utterly like her. You’re her student, aren’t you? Shall receive two duels instead of one, hmm?”

“Let Celestia go!” Twilight yelled.

Luna laughed, having received her answer. “If you want you’re princess, you shall have to claim her. Come at me, knave!”

Twilight Sparkle’s special talent was magic. She was a well versed arcane scientist and magi in her own right. She knew nearly a hundred spells, when most unicorns learned only the half dozen or so directly related to their special talent, if even that. She could do any number of things, from forming spikes out of the rocks and dirt of the ground to prying off another pony’s armor, and even everything up to transmuting the air around Luna into chlorine gas if she could concentrate hard enough.

Yet with each of these possible spells came a problem. They were impressive on paper, but in reality required a tremendous amount of concentration. And to Twilight this was a real fight, with kit booties off and no bucks held back. Magical attacks that took five seconds could give her opponent the opening they needed, and magical attacks that took five minutes to charge up were straight out.

It is fortunate then that there are spells which can cause a lot damage, but required little time for the experienced magi to perform.

Twilight blasted a ball of bright green magical energy at the rogue princess. Luna threw a hexagonal magical shield to protect herself, but the attack was a feint. Instead of impacting the shield, it exploded in a bright ball that would temporarily deafen anyone not wearing proper ear protection and blind anyone looking directly at it.

Twilight teleported to the side, flanking her opponent. She let loose a series of magical bolts, nearly invisible but capable of piercing Royal Guard armor. The gem inlaid constellations, ornate protective runes from the look of it, deflected the bolts. They shattered holes into the walls of the buildings and caused depressions on the soft dirt of the plaza.

Those who had any sort of real survival instinct fled, but there still a few watchers. Among them were a certain unicorn DJ and a pink pony in an ornate dress, trying to set up some pieces of equipment. Light music began to play, and the lights flickered.

Luna was quick to reply to the magical attack. She gathered her own magical energy into the round circular crest of the helmet. She then blasted a beam of milky white energy from the crest. It very nearly hit Twilight, but even if the unicorn didn’t teleport away she wouldn’t have been hit. The magical flash bang had disoriented the self-proclaimed Empress, cutting through the town’s multi-storied city hall and court house. Splintered wood began to burn as the face of the building facing the plaza began to cave in on itself.

Twilight flanked Luna to the right. Rather than change strategy, though, she simply used a much larger version of her magical bolts. If she was using a magical crossbow before, she would use a magical ballista now. Gathering her energy, she shot forth a barely perceivable stream of energy. It exploded against the enchanted armor Luna. First it was held back by the shield, but it glowed brightly as did her horn.

The gems of the cracked, then exploded into glittery splinters as the active enchantments within the armor failed. Those enchantments drew from Luna’s power, so when the gems exploded, the tip of her horn was burned with mage fire. It blasted into her right wing, yet the magical alloy of the scale mail absorbed the magic and flaked off, sacrificing itself to protect Luna’s limb. Although the effects that could immediately kill Luna were negated, the kinetic energy of the magical blast was still transferred, throwing the Princess into the stage raised stage and causing it to collapse on her.

Twilight wearily began to walk towards the stage. She was panting from the effort that she had spent on those relatively simple magical spells. The rubble began to shift, and the alicorn emerged. Her armor was heavily scratched, and dented in a few places.

“Give up, Luna!” Twilight yelled. “You’re magical reserves have been depleted! There is no way you could possibly…”

Luna unflurred her wings at an angle and used a burst of magical energy to propel her. She tackled the physically young unicorn with the full weight of her armor and body, throwing both of them to the ground. Luna then untangled herself from Twilight, and she waited for her dazed foe to attempt standing before bucking her in the ribs.

Twilight screamed.

“WHAT WAS THAT?!” Luna asked mockingly. “WE CAN’T QUITE UNDERSTAND! IT APPEARS THAT WE’RE A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING AT THE MOMENT!”

Twilight was laying on her side. It felt as though the entire room of spinning. Distantly, she realized that her breathing was making a grating sound. She tried to get up, try to get away, but a light kick to her ribs caused Twilight’s world to explode in pain, sending her to the ground.

“YOU KNOW WHAT, KNAVE? THE HONORABLE THING TO DO WOULD BE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR SKILL AND ALLOW YOU THE CHANCE TO BEND THE KNEE TO ME. THE SMART THING TO DO WOULD TO KILL YOU SO THAT A UNICORN OF YOUR POWER AND LOYALTY TO THE FALSE SOVERIGN CANNOT POSSIBLY THREATEN ME AGAIN. FOR THE SAKE OF MERCY I SHALL COMPRIMISE, AND SIMPLY CRIPPLE YOU. BUT DO NOT FEAR, KNAVE. I SHALL LEAVE YOUR HORN INTACT. AM I NOT A MERCIFUL SOVEREIGN?”

“Screw… you…” Twilight forced herself to say, before Luna stomped on her back leg with armored hooves. Twilight's scream could be heard from the other side of the city. Her sobs, however, could be heard across the plaza.

Or would, if a certain pink pony and her DJ sister were not the proverbial ace up Twilight Sparkle's sleeve.

“Good morning Ponyville!” a certain DJ yelled as the sun began to rise behind her. “This is DJ Pon-THREE, polluting your eardrums with my sweet, sweet music!”

The proclamation itself wouldn’t be enough to be heard by Luna, save for the fact that it was blasted through at rock concert levels as a sort of instrumental music blasted with it. Pinkie Pie grinned a little bit, before backing away from the stage as Luna walked away from Twilight and towards the DJ.

“IS THIS AMATEUR NIGHT?” Luna asked, though still somewhat deafened. “DO YOU PLAN TO FIGHT ME, WHEN I HAVE STRUCK LOW THE PRETENDER’S PROTÉGÉ?”

“Oh, but you’re making a mistake, most holy of hostesses,” the DJ replied with a grin, bobbing her head to the music as it repeated the same phrase over and over in an overly masculine voice that just edged at comprehensibility. “I’m not the one gonna fight you!”

“WELL, EVERYPONY ELSE HAS TRIED. OF COURSE, IT MIGHT NOT BE A PONY THIS TIME. WHAT, PREY TELL, WILL FIGHT ME?” the self proclaimed empress = asked, seemingly amused.

“MAH BASS CANNON!” the DJ screamed back with a grin far too wide, pressing a giant red button with her hoof.

When unicorns fight, they tend to weaponize their special talents. In the case of the Pie triplets, their talents tended towards entertainment. So it was only natural that the pony everyone knew as “Vinyl Scratch” would use sonic cannons disguised as regular subwoofers, as well as a novel style of electronic music, to try incapacitate her opponent.

Only Luna was not a normal opponent. At first the cannons hit with such force that she was blown back on her flank and slid towards Twilight. She then used her freakish strength to stand up against the blast, walking towards the speakers and Scratch. When the barrage of musical assault ended, Luna grinned wickedly, the malice in her eyes communicating full well what she would do to the unicorn who didn’t just defy her will, but made a foal out of her for the briefest of moments.

Right before there was an explosion to her right. A piece of shrapnel embedded itself into her armor, causing Luna to scream in pain. She looked around to see what exactly could harm her, and saw a diamond dog like mechanical monstrosity with a smoking cannon for a hand, it’s obvious mistress, and dozens of strangely uniformed ponies wielding what Luna recognized as hand cannons.

“Surrender or die!” Rarity yelled at Luna. Looking around once more at the ponies who seemed intent on making good on that threat, Luna made a tactical decision.

She unflurred her wings, then blasted straight up into the air with the unnatural speed that only a pegasus could obtain. Only she was more then just a normal pegasus. The Ponyville Guard had enough discipline not to shoot each other when she went up, as flack cannons filled the air with puffs of smoke. Yet it was too late, and Luna was already flying towards the old castle in the Everfree.

The last thing Twilight saw that morning was Rarity fussing her, and Nurse Redheart pulling out a needle to inject her with something. Then she fell asleep, and wouldn’t wake again before noon.

Chapter 6

Luna landed in the old castle, disheartened by the sight. The site of her final battle against Celestia in her decade long insurrection was left for the nature to reclaim. And nature did try, but the magic worked within the stones, the doors, the seals and even the fabric made the process difficult. This castle was designed to withstand the worst of magical sieges, and it’s greatest siege was against the world itself.

There were holes in the roof. In the throne room, located on the upper floor, there were holes in the wall. Fabric, what were once proud weavings recounting Equestria’s epic history and proclaiming the great noble houses that were in court that day, were discolored and left to rot. Luna had half expected the Earth pony peons to have sacked what was once her home, but seeing it simply forgotten was somehow even more disheartening.

Luna dwelled in the throne room for a little while longer, before beginning to her trek to her old chambers. She felt tired and weak. Her armor felt much heavier then it normally would. Their enchantments were worn away by the freakish powers of the ponies that inhabited the village nearest to what Luna considered the True Capitol.

“I probably look like a pauper,” she said, sighing out in frustration and disdain. As she walked into the room, she came face to face with a silver backed mirror.

She screamed.

Looking back at her was herself. Yet much younger, much smaller, looking like a child playing warrior in their parent’s armor. Gone were the eitherial glow of her hair, and instead of a dark black her fur was a much lighter shade of blue.

“NO! YOU CAN’T BE THERE!” Luna yelled at the mirror. The reflection seemed to flinch, but stood her ground.

“I KILLED YOU! YOU CAN’T STILL BE ALIVE! IT’S BEEN A THOUSAND YEARS, YOU CANNOT BE ALIVE! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD!” she ranted. “I KILLED YOU! I RID MYSELF OF MY INSECURITIES! MY DOUBT! MY WEAKNESS! MY DIFFERENCE! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD, YET YOU STILL LIVE! DIE! DIE!”

In a moment of pure anger and frustration she pulled two rocks from the floor, sending them through the mirror and the wall that held it up. Yet she was still affected by the mage fire, and her burnt horn sent a stabbing pain straight through her head. Luna collapsed on the ground, sobbing in pain. It felt like hours she spent there. She did not know how long it truly was except that the sun was shining through.

The sun.

The infernal sun.

The source of all her suffering and doubt.

Luna looked up. A normal pony would be blinded, but she was no normal pony. She was consigned to be the embodiment of the lesser light of the sky, only greater than the stars. Her moon only shown near its fullest potential for but a few days each month, and even then that light was not truly hers. It was the sun’s.

It was Celestia’s. Luna's light and glory would always come from the sun, from what her sister embodied. It would never be her own. She would never have her own glory, or anything truly her own, until she was freed of her wretched sister.

Luna snorted. She was sure that, if she looked closely, she could see the image of Celestia burned into the sun. Screaming in pain. Or perhaps it was pleasure? Her sister was a weak willed and decadent sort, using ‘mercy’ to satisfy her own perverse urges.

No matter. Celestia received her just reward.

Luna sighed again, this time in exhaustion. Her old bed, miraculously, was still mostly preserved. It had been aged, no doubt it would be less soft yet firm then when the castle was inhabited, but it was mostly preserved. Luna had slept on worst while on campaign, and it would be better than sleeping on the ground.

She began to take off her armor. Soon all that were left where her under-garments, a white robe that covered most of her body. She carefully plucked out the steel shards that had embedded itself in her flank, staining the white robe a crimson red. It was almost enough to write a morbid poem.

Luna cackled to herself. Poems were for those who looked at dying. And she was going to live. Oh yes, she would live.

She embodied the lesser light, the light of the night. She could be subversive and sneaky, much more so than Celestia. Stabbing a general in the back while they sleep might be dishonorable, but winning the battle the next day would redeem the assassination and bring much more honor to her name. She could use her passive magic to dream up shades, sow the seeds of deceit and discord among her enemies.

Then she will defeat them while they’re separated and weak and claim victory. Then she will claim her rightful birthright, and her subjects will love her for freeing them from the weak sun tyrant forever.

And on that thought, Luna fell asleep. Even as the much younger pony looked at her from the shatter remnants of the mirror.
(*) (*)
The room was blurry. It was too well lighted. There were strange, blurry shadows which were moving at the edge of her vision.

“Scalpel,” one of them said.

Twilight was in pain. She felt too aware of her body, even if she wasn’t aware of her surroundings. Broken bones. Punctured organs. Leakage.

Shame. She rather liked this yonger body.

“Preparing to make incis…”

“Doctor,” another voice said.

“What is it Nurse Red… ah, I see,” the first voice replied.

Magic would fix her body. Magic would fix everything.

It was the only thing she was actually good at, after all.

The beeping seemed to go faster.

“Shit. She’s waking up,” a new voice said.

Magic would move her bone fragments back into place. Heal. Mend.

Grow.

“Preparing to inject point one ounces of ketamine dilute,” another voice said.

“Not now. She’s having a strong magical reaction to her injuries,” one of the voices said.

Ah, there’s the internal organs I was looking for. Oh, did the mean filly hurt you? Don't worry. Stay inside mama. Mama will make you nice and healthy and big.

Hmm… might as well include the external organs too. It would be unseemly to walk around without your skin covering all of the muscles that it should.

“Doctor! Her whole body,” a voice yelled.

“Stand back,” one voice said.

The beeping raced at a rate that didn't sound healthy. It needed to learn how to relax. Maybe read a book.

“We’re loosing her!”

“She’s glowing!”

“I’m calling in a Code Black. Start evacuating the patients. Nurse Redheart.”

“I’m here sir.”

Magic will make everything better in the end.

Always has. Always will.
(*) (*)
“Ugh… my head…” Twilight muttered, her eyes fluttering open.

She was in a familiar looking hospital room. It was the same one that Rainbow Dash was in after something or another that lead the pegasus to discover her love of reading. Twilight Sparkle wasn’t sure about the details, but the fact that she finally had another mare her age to talk about pulp fiction was the most important part of that particular journey anyway.

“An’ how the hay am I supposed to get th’ body? Ethics ain’t got nothin’ to do with that sort of science. Dead don’t care,” Rainbow Dash asked, wings flared in the sign of agitation common to pegasi. “I mean, I’m gonna get it. Hadn’t had a chance to look at one of them fancy unicorn cadavers after a magical reaction since we were merceneries in South Zebraca. Certainly not one as pretty looking. I ain’t keen on passin’ it up.”

“I’d image the letter would begin with ‘Dear Princess Celestia,’” Rarity said. “I’d be easier if you were an actual licensed coroner in Equestria instead of a lecturer. But I doubt you’ll get her body.”

“An’ why’s that,” Rainbow Dash asked. Rarity point at Twilight, and the pegasus visibly deflated. “Oh. She’s gonna make it. Gosh darn it.”

Twilight looked between the two. The cowmare pegasus and the military unicorn. She then summed up the situation quite perfectly.

“Everypony in this town is crazy, aren’t they?” Twilight asked.

“The Ponyville Sanitarium doesn’t help,” Rarity deadpanned.

“I see,” Twilight replied, before looking at Rainbow Dash. “And you wanted me to die?”

“Wha?” She asked, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Oh no. No no no no. Far from it. I just wanted ya’ for your body.”

The silence in the room was deafening.

“Ya’ know… for science,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Well… engineerin’ more like. I figure that if I could figure what makes a magical reaction like that, I could make a rig that’ll…”

“We’re glad you made it,” Rarity said, cutting off Rainbow Dash. “Even if you’re circumstances are now… odd.”

“Odd?” Twilight replied.

Rarity used her unicorn magic to float a mirror in front of Twilight. Looking back was not quite the Twilight she remembered. She wasn’t a regal as she was becoming back home, nor as blandly normal as the average unicorn. She was taller, with a different sort of build. More like one of the fashionable Canterlot nobles… or Princess Cadence.

“What… what exactly…”

“Twilight Sparkle, I want to inform you that you are not our prisoner,” Rarity began.

“But you’re going to ask me questions and hold me against my will if you don’t like my answers,” Twilight replied.

“Oh, I’m not going to hold you against you’re will,” Rarity replied, looking entirely too smug, “Prince Blueblood, on the other hand, will. Especially if it appears that you’re not cooperating.”

“Look, ah know we’re invadin’ you’re privacy an’ all, but with what happened to Canterlot we can’t be too careful,” Rainbow Dash said.

“What happened in Canterlot?” Twilight asked.

“Answer our questions truthfully and we’ll tell you,” Rarity replied.

Twilight looked again between the two. She knew the obvious set up. But right now, she wanted to know more about what was going on. Of course, there was still a way to twist this around for her own amusement, especially considering the personalities involved.

“Okay then,” Twilight said, making a show of acquiescence. “Ask away.”
“Who are you really?” Rarity asked.

“I am Twilight Sparkle. I am the Chair of the Department of Arcane Studies at Luna University. Except it’s not named after this Princess Luna. It’s named after my Princess Luna. I have found myself in this world, replacing my counterpart, who I am concerned about. Assuming this isn’t a dream,” Twilight stated. She wasn’t sarcastic, or dismissive, even though she said all this as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you a crazy person?” Rarity asked.

“That is a very distinctly possible possibility,” Twilight replied.

“Ah don’t think she’s crazy. Or at least, she don’t think that she’s crazy,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Says the mare who wanted her for her body,” Rarity said.

“FOR SCIENCE!” Dash shot back defensively.

“That really doesn’t help your case, Dash,” Rarity replied.

“I’m also reliving this event, except everything is slightly different,” Twilight added helpfully.

“Oh really?” Dash said. “Let me guess, everyone here is less awesome then they are ‘back home’.”

“Not really,” Twilight said with a shrug. “You’re a lazy sloth who wants to get into the Wonderbolts but doesn’t actually put in the practice for the fundamentals. Rarity’s a dainty,shopaholic fashionista.. Applejack’s a prideful apple farmer who won’t modernize her production methods. Fluttershy’s is simply an antisocial, manic depressive animal caretaker. Pinkie Pie may be on drugs, or may actually be something else in a pony suit, we’ve never actually figured it out. But we’re all taller and over forty, and not dying anytime soon due to prolonged exposure to the Elements of Harmony, a set of magical artifacts which...”

“So you’re not crazy. You’re simply living in a planetary romance novel,” Rarity said drolly. “Good to know.”

“Well, I certainly was never a mercenary,” Twilight replied.

“It was honest adventuring. Right Dash,” Rarity asked her companion.

“Yeah, it was. There was that one time, when we fought with the fascist Gryphons for the lost Ark of the Testimony. And then fought the giant fireants that breathed fire. … after the ghosts melted the gryphon’s faces…”

“So you two live in a two hoofed pulp fiction novel. Good to know,” Twilight said.

Rarity got a look on her face. “You did not just throw that back at me.”

“I believe I just did,” Twilight said, grin on her face. “And I have been completely truthful. So, since I’ve cooperated, what the hay happened to Canterlot?”

The two ponies looked at each other. Rarity looked at Twilight. “You’re Princess Luna had razed half of it to the ground, after having to fight through most of the Class A Canterlot Guard, the Royal Guard, the Pretorian Carbiners and the faculty of the Canterlot Strategic Academy and the Princess.”

“Is Shining Armor alright? Are my parents alright?” Twilight asked urgently.

Rarity grimaced. Rainbow Dash caught the reaction. “What’s wrong? Seems like she’s wantin’ to know what happened to kin.”

“That’s just it,” Rarity said. “The commanding officer of the Equestrian Special Magic Service is…”

“Twili!” Shining Armor yelled, clearly happy to see her.

“Shining Armor!” Twilight yelled back.

She hopped out of bed, giving him a hug. She then looked at him. His horn was burned from mage fire, there were bags under his eyes, his dark blue uniform, which had a trim of purple common to magic, even his saddle bags, were dirty and smelled faintly of smoke. “You look like hammered manure,” Twilight said.

“Fighting a being powerful enough to a physical goddess does that to you,” Shining Armor replied with a jaunty grin.

“Sir, I must ask that you leave,” Rarity said. “We were in the process of interri… questionin… asking your sister about things.”

“I heard she fought Queen Luna and nearly won,” Shining Armor said, messing with his sister’s hair.

“Shining Armor,” Twilight said, embarrassed. “I don’t need you bragging for me.”

“You’re sister has been compromised. Sir, she also believes she some sort speculative fiction heroine,” Rarity said.

“She’s had a bad magical reaction to her injuries. A feeling of displacement and delusions of grandeur are commonplace. I’ve seen it happen myself,” Shining Armor replied. “I can take of my sister, Lieutenant. You need to get back to taking care of your city.”

“Sir, I am not authorized to leave the patient without orders from my commanding officer,” Rarity replied back.

Shining Armor used his magic to float a piece of paper to Rarity. Twilight couldn’t read the scribbled mouth writing on it, but after reading it Rarity took it, used her own magic to fold it up, and placed it in a pocket of her uniform. “Will that be all, sir?”

“For the moment,” Shining Armor replied. “I’m here to relieve you.”

“I stand relieved,” Rarity replied, giving him a quick salute that he replied. “Come on Dash. Let’s see where we’re needed now.”

“What happened?” Twilight asked, walking back to her bed and sitting down on it.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Shining Armor said. “Twili, we’ve been worried about you for a while. But taking on that new royal… that’s insane.”

“Hey, you took her on too,” Twilight replied.

“That was with over three regiments worth of fighting ponies, the Princess, and the Strategic Academy at my side. Your backup was a company of territorial militia, a religious fanatic and a DJ. Even if you’re certifiably crazy, this isn’t you! You know better!” Shining Armor yelled.

“I HAVE SPARRED WITH LUNA MANY TIMES!” Twilight yelled back, her eyes magically whitened, speaking with the voice of a legion. “I HAVE USED THE ELEMENTS TO WIN AGAINST NIGHT MARE MOON, DISCORD, CHRYSALLIS, *, BOB, AND OTHER HORRORS YOU HAVE YET TO COMPREHEND! JUST BECAUSE THIS LUNA IS DIFFERENT DOES NOT MEAN I AND MY FRIENDS WILL NOT PREVAIL! AND JUST BECAUSE YOU LOOK MY BROTHER DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY ROOM TO LECTURE ME!”

The two stared at each other for a few moments. To Shining Armor’s credit, he neither flinched nor looked away. Twilight was the one who blinked, laying on the bed exhausted.

Also to Shining Armor’s credit, he bit back his usual retorts. It’s one thing when the pony in question was genuinely mad and maybe a little evil. It’s another when that genuinely mad and maybe a little evil pony was your little sister. “Twili, what’s going on?”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know how much to tell you.”

“I’m your brother Twili. You can trust me,” Shining ressured her, giving her a pat on the hoof.

“Not really,” Twilight replied. She looked back at him. “You accept that I’m a very powerful magician, right?”

“Of course I do. Our family’s one of the few that specialize in unicorn magic,” Shining Armor said.

“Okay. And it’s common knowledge that, in magic, things can go wrong,” Twilight said, looking up at the ceiling. “Horribly, horribly, wrong.”

“Twili, what happened,” Shining Armor said.

“Nothing at my end. I was going to sleep in the university library, then I woke up thirty years younger and in a world that barely makes sense to me,” Twilight replied. “I’ve been rolling with it so far. I thought it could be fun. But after getting my ribs kicked in… this place is too real. And more ponies are getting hurt then there has any right to be.”

Shining Armor looked at Twilight for a long moment. “So… you believe you’re Twilight… but you don’t believe you’re my Twilight.”

“And you’re not my Shining Armor,” Twilight said. “Whatever happened to yours, she’s not me. Hopefully she’s been displaced, or something, instead of killed outright. If she has… I’m hardly an innocent anymore, but…”

“Listen, Twili,” Shining Armor began. “I love you. You’re my crazy little sister. But I’m pretty sure you’re still you.”

Twilight chuckled a little bit. “I could prove you wrong… but I don’t feel like it,” she sighed, laying back down. “This must be what’s it’s like to age normally. I feel so tired.”

“Twili… no matter what happens, I’m still you’re brother,” Shining Armor said.

“And what if you’re wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Then if you’re anything like my Twilight, which you are, you will do the right thing in the end. Even if you have to exhaust all other possible actions to get there,” Shining Armor replied. “You’re my BLSFL. I’ve been through more then my share of magical mishaps. We’ll work through this.”

Twilight nodded. There was a comfortable silence once more, before she smiled. “So, you’ll support in everything that I’ll do?” Twilight asked.

Shining Armor looked at her suspiciously. “What are you planning?” he asked.

“The way I defeated Luna, or Night Mare Moon, or whatever she’s calling herself, before was to use the Elements of Harmony. We’ve never quite figured out what they are, but they can be used to purify the Princess Luna and bring Princess Celestia back,” Twilight replied.

“And you’re going to do that by yourself?” Shining Armor asked.

“Heck no. The Elements back home represented the cardinal virtues of pony society. Loyalty, Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, all which unlock the hidden spark of the final element: Magic. There has to be at least six ponies, and I happen to know some good candidates.”

“So let’s say that you’re right,” Shining Armor said. “Do you do this alone, with your team?”

“The first time around was a bonding experience. Here, though, everything’s more… dangerous. A smaller team can move faster, but a larger team has more resources to deal with threats. My Night Mare Moon just wanted us to go away. This one… she might actually try to kill us,” Twilight said, the last part said with some uncertainty. She then quickened her resolve. “But I won’t let her. And everyone I knew on the other side, that I barely know here, each have some unique skillset to contribute that will help us survive.”

Shining Armor nodded. “Okay. So you’re not acting like normal, but this might be okay in this case. Are you sure that you can handle this?”

“Probably not. But what choice do we have?” Twilight asked.

“Convince me you’re ‘team’ can help, and I might be willing to let you do what you believe you have to do,” Shining Armor said.
“First up are Rarity and Rainbow Dash. They’re apparently experienced adventures and have access to heavy weaponry, so they’re going to be my security detail.”

~ ~ ~

Rarity looked at the old, modified laborjack that she seldom worked with anymore. It was a relic from her days of freelance adventuring. Such practice was allowed, as it let the officers and enlisted career soldiers gain experience and allowed Equestria’s movers and shakers to see what their true moral character actually are when away from the comfortable social norms of Equestrian society.

This time it was actually cleaned up. Painted in the familiar gold and blue of Equestria, save for the body itself, which was grey and gold. Rarity looked around, then sighed.

“Rainbow Dash,” she said, grating out the sounds.

“Howdy!” Dash replied, popping out from behind the mechanical monstrocity. She was in work overalls, covered in parts by the oil, soot and various other fluids that diesel and steam powered ‘jacks tended to accumulate.

“What do you do to Ol’ Rowdy?” Rarity asked.

“It can use a lightning wand now,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I also aligned the electrical conduits, and aligned the magical matrix for your spell work.”

“And is Ol’ Rowdy happy about that?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash snorted. “Ol’ Rowdy ain’t ever happy ‘bout anything. But I’m sure he’ll be pleased as punched to get into an honest throw down.”

~ ~ ~

“Fluttershy has extensive experience in the Everfree Forest. She’ll be our guide.”

~ ~ ~

Fluttershy walked outside of the tree house hut, looking up at the sky. She was carry a small hoof gun in her mouth. Sitting down and letting go of the hoof gun, putting it into forelegs, she pointed it into the sky. Squeezing the trigger, a flare shot up into the sky.

She had to wait for a moment. Then another flair replied back. This one was a bright yellow, instead of the red that she used.

Fluttershy smiled.

~ ~ ~

“Pinkimena Dianne Pie is our local expert on everything Night Mare Moon. Weird religion or not, and as weird as it is to say it, she has got a good head on her shoulder.”

~ ~ ~

“No, no, no, NO! The Book of Laughing Crow is not canon for a reason! It was clearly forged by a propagandist. Just throw that away for now! Look in ‘Epistles Concerning the Nature of Divinity’ and ‘Book of the Regal Nativity’,” Pinkie Pie half yelled, half directed at the distressed scholars and military intelligence officers which had managed to crowd into her home.

“Why are we even here?” One of the Canterlot ponies asked.

“Snikerdoodles will be done in five minutes!” Vinyl Scratch yelled from the kitchen.

“Son, you have yet to taste a Pie’s baked goods, have you?” a grizzled old royal asked, mostly covered in an ancient rune armor. “It’s worth it. Even if they break into song, it’s still worth it.”

“o/~ The world’s in need of righteous mares, who wear the worker’s seal… o/~”

“Oh gods…”

“Trust me. It’ll be worth it.”

~ ~ ~

“The wild cards are Applejack…”

~ ~ ~

“Granny Smith, have you seen my typewriter?” Applejack asked, looking through her office.

“The one ya’ use to type your manuscrips, or…”

“The one I hid from Applebloom and the girls.”

“I hid it behind the liquor cabinet,” Ganny Smith said. Applejack walked in and gave Granny Smith a hug.

“Thanks Granny Smith.”

“Just don’t take mah Scotch!”

~ ~ ~

“… and whoever else ends up coming along for the ride.”

~ ~ ~

“You know Lyra, this could be our last day alive on this beautiful, green land we call Equestria,” Bon Bon almost purred.

“For the hundredth time, no. I won't do that with you because I don't feel that way about you,” Lyra responded with irritation. “And we’re on duty!”

“Hey lovebirds! Stop making out and get that cannon packed up!” Derpy yelled in the background.

“We’re not doing anything of the sort!” Lyra yelled, scandalized.

“As much as I may want to,” Bon Bon muttered.

“You know,” Derpy began. “You think you’re talking, but all I’m hearing is…” she began to make exaggerated kissing sounds.

Lyra was clearly less than pleased. “You are all the worst friends ever. Of all time.”

~ ~ ~

“But I’m pretty sure that’ll all work out,” Twilight finished.

Shining Armor was quiet for a moment. Contemplating what she said. “You seem to know what you’re doing.”

“I’ve had a lot of experience doing it,” Twilight replied. “I’m almost sure that the Elements should work the same here. I’m just not sure what would be in store for us.”

“I’m not for this,” Shining Armor said. “I’m not even sure you’re in your right mind.”

Twilight huffed. “I’m not some foal, you know. Just send it up to your bosses.”

“I’ll be sure to come along then,” Shining Armor said.

“Absolutely not!” Twilight replied, crossing her forelegs in an X. “No way, no how.”

“I have a lot more combat experience then you, Twili,” Shining Armor said.

“You’re also more visibly burned out then I am,” Twilight replied. “My magic isn’t one hundred perfect, I know that much. But your horn has mana burns.”

“… don’t you mean aether burns?” Shining Armor asked.

“… I have no idea what aether is. Doesn’t matter. You’re better at leading large groups of ponies. You don’t need magic for that. So protect Ponyville and Equestria while I go fetch the Princess, and get ready for if something goes horribly wrong. ...or horribly right..”

“Alright. But I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be approved,” Shining Amor said.

(*) (*)

“I can’t believe this actually got approved,” Shining Armor muttered.
It was a Motley crew of 9 ponies and 1 robot. The Pie sisters were arguing good naturely with each other over something or another. Derpy Hooves, Lyra, and Bon Bon were all wearing their militia uniforms, well armed and serving as an impromptu escort for their leader. Said leader was fussing at Rainbow Dash, who was fussing over a robot, which sat down and glowered at everything.

Applejack had some sort of gun mounted on one side of her saddle bags, a design Twilight began to associate with the military arms of ponies in this universe. It had a barrel and a drum like magazine on the side. She was moving around, mingling with the other ponies, but never quite settling down to one conversation.

Fluttershy was quietly standing a little too close to Shining Armor and Twilight.

“Are you going to be okay, Twili,” Shining Armor asked.

“I think I will be. I know my magical reserves are nowhere near completely full, but I should have enough for my basic spells,” Twilight replied.

“But it’s the Everfree,” Shining Armor said, almost pleading.

“There are things in the Everfree,” Fluttershy began. “Old things. Ancient things. Things which should not be, but are. They are the result of pony hubris, for the agents of Luna and Celestia had access to ancient, terrible magic. The Zone of Alienation is the result of that.”

“The Zone of Alienation?” Twilight asked.

“The place where those old things dwell,” Fluttershy replied.

“Twili, listen to the ranger,” Shining Armor said.

“You don’t support this?” Twilight asked.

“You’re my crazy little sister,” Shining Armor replied. "Even if you aren't ill, you're always in the madness place."

Fluttershy spoke up again. “Until you reach the Zone of Alienation, the Everfree is relatively safe. Improperly managed, but safe. Inside of the Zone of Alienation, besides myself and Zocora, your sister who is not your sister is the most prepared.”

Shining Armor raised an eyebrow. Fluttershy walked up to him and gave him a gentle hug, which he tried to back out of.

“You’re a good brother,” Fluttershy said.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight said. Fluttershy flushed, then walked away. “I’ll be fine. And I have to do this. And you have to take care of Ponyville for me. Understand?”

Shining Armor sighed. “Yes, Twili. I don’t know why I’m letting you do this…”

“It’s because I’m at least 20 years older then you,” Twilight replied.

“Hey, Sparkle! Are we going yet?” Applejack asked out.

“Coming,” Twilight replied, leaving her brother. Said brother watched apprehensively as his sister walked into the Everfree with the band that she managed to gather. He then turned around, and began walking back to where the relief efforts were being organized.

Chapter 7

“So, what’s the plan?” Vinyl Scratched ask quietly as the ponies and one war machine made their march deeping into the forest.

“We meet up with Zecora and find out what’s going on,” Twilight replied.

“So… why is everypony gone?” Vinyl asked.

Twilight wasn’t sure what she was talking about. She was certain that everypony else was following behind her. Yet as she looked to her left, she spotted nopony. As she looked to her right, she noticed only the religious pony cum DJ. And as she turned around to look behind her, she saw nopony around.

“This… is not like last time,” Twilight said.

“Last time?” Vinyl asked. She then gave herself a light knock. “Oh, of course. The passages. How did last time go?”

“Well, we didn’t get separated,” Twilight replied. She then thought for a moment. “What passages?”

“Scripture. Talking about the seven bearers,” Vinyl replied.

“Seven?” Twilight asked.

“One mentor and the six virtues,” Vinyl replied. “Aided by the iron pony and their close comp… oh man I was so stupid. I honestly thought that part was allegory.”

“Okay… so it isn’t allegory. Does it tell you anything else?” Twilight asked.

“That this go around they would all be females, since the last go around they were all males,” Vinyl replied. She gave a shrug. “It’s just that everypony thinks they’re female because society went all matriarchal.”

“So what about the princesses?” Twilight asked.

“The go before that. That one was actually a mix of both genders. But three became one, another grew in wisdom and ability to act, and the last one fell to evil,” Vinyl replied. “Before that was the triumvirate, where the Elements embodied Wisdom, Courage and Strength. That was the founding of Equestria. As long as there has been an Equestria, there has been the Elements. And as long as there are the Elements, there will be an Equestria. And if we live up to the virtues they are to embody during our time of need, to correct where temporal society has gone wrong, then we shall be a peaceful nation of strength and virtue. That is the covenant of old.”

“The covenant?” Twilight asked.

“Old theology mixed with history. It’s hard to tell where the myth ends and the facts begin, but it makes for a heck of a story. Ask Pinkie how Equestria was made sometime. It’s a doozy,” Vinyl said with a grin.

“I think I will,” Twilight said, curious. She didn’t expect to learn so much from a DJ. Then something irked her. “I thought her name was Pinkimena?”

“It is. I was also born sixteen minutes before her, so I get to call her whatever I want,” Vinyl replied, the last part in almost a sing song voice.

“Okay…” Twilight said, before looking up. Despite the canopy, she could tell that hours had gone by. “Can I count you to take care of yourself?”

Vinyl’s grin stretched across her face. “Oh, I may speak like this when around your people now,” Vinyl began, before switching to what Earthlings may recognize as a South African accent, “But you will find, my larger than average Equestrian, that Zebras are hardly the only people who have mastered ‘esoteric forms of magic’.”

“Hardly the only surprise of the night,” Twilight said drolly. “Now… lets go find that hut.”

~ ~ ~

Fluttershy looked to the left. She then looked to the right. She then realized where she was, and gave a demure sigh.

“Not again,” she said quietly to herself.

Being transported to a strange part of the forest was not a particularly new experience for Fluttershy. Strange things happened in the Zone of Alienation, and teleportation was potential one of the most disorienting yet least harmful things that could happen. Yet they were far outside the Zone of Alienation, on the warded path to the last safe haven before the fabric of space, time and magic became unstable.

Which meant outside interference.

“Demons and evil spirits, be gone,” Fluttershy said quietly to herself.

“Demons and evil spirits, be gone,” Fluttershy said again, a little louder than before.

“Demons and evil spirits, be gone!” Fluttershy said again, much louder than before.

“DEMONS AND EVIL SPIRITS, BE GONE!” Fluttershy shouted. “I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE! SHOW YOURSELF!”

Three figures revealed themselves. They were pegasi, of the same shape and size as Fluttershy. Their fur and manes were of similar colors to Queen Luna’s, though most was covered by a purple and blue take off of the famous Wonderbolts costumes. Their eyes were covered by yellow tinted goggles, which to her own eyes did nothing to conceal the cat’s eyes they were trying to hide.

“Fluttershy, I presume,” said the pony in the center, who she presumed to be their leader. All three were uncomfortably androgynous, although the center pony’s voice sounded like a mare trying to sound like a young stallion. “We’ve been waiting for a pony like you.”

“You have?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh, more then you can imagine,” the lead pony said. “We’ve been waiting for a pony as strong, brave and beautiful as yourself. Even in this rugged environment, even with what you are, you are truly the heir to Pansy’s legacy.”

“You know?!” Fluttershy asked, feeling panic. Even as her stress response went off, and her wings flared, she kept from closing in on the trio. She kept her distance.

“We know of your lineage. We know of your ancestor, Viceroy Pansy. We know of the magic that she partook in to save Equestria, the covenants made with ancient things of power… we know everything,” the lead pony explain.

“You know,” Fluttershy replied, crestfallen.

“We come with a modest proposal,” the other pegasus began. “Unlike those other ponies, we will not judge you. You would not have to live in fear under the reign of our kingdom’s rightful queen. No more glorious yet obscure jobs to explain away your talents. No more living in fear. No more second questioning yourself. Under Queen Luna, your line can live openly with it’s past, with the love, respect and power that it rightfully deserves. All we ask is that you simply not interfere. Do nothing, and you’ll get everything. How does that sound?”

“That’s too bad,” Fluttershy muttered to herself.

“How is that bad?” the pony asked, confused. “We’re offering you the basic decency that you deserve.”

“Oh, not that. That sounds nice. It’s just too bad that you know,” Fluttershy said to the three ponies.

“And why is that?” the other pegasus asked.

“Because now I have to kill again.”

~ ~ ~

“I don’t enjoy the thought of killing,” Pinkie Pie said quietly to her small cohort. “But if done righteously, it is just a chore. Like all the rest.”

The other three ponies nodded. At some point they got separated from the main group.

“I may be in the militia, but I hope I won’t ever be in the position to… well…” Bon Bon began, before quietly looking around.

“I never held a hoof canon, but I did call in artillery strikes,” Lyra said. The other two looked at her. “Radio was the big new thing then. I earned my rank during the Border War by being the best radiomare I could be. But Derpy… those are hard stripes.”

The trio looked at the company sergeant. She seemed to be sitting, starring into the darkness with her one functional eye. Her wings suddenly flaired, and she stood up, adjusting the saddle bag and single rifle system that she had.

“Look alive, colts,” Derpy said, right before a series of oddly equine-like screams were heard. Equine like, but still highly guttural.

“What’s that?” Pinkie asked, fear creeping into her voice despite herself.

“A bad day,” Derpy replied.

~ ~ ~

Rarity and Rainbow Dash were walking down the forested road. It seemed as though they were separated from their group, but this was hardly the first time. It would seem like a good idea for one of them to ride the mechanical monstrosity that they had brought with them.

“Why aren’t you riding Ol’ Rowdy,” Rainbow Dash asked.

It seemed as though somepony agreed.

“Old Rowdy has been less then happy with his conversion to diesel,” Rarity replied. “I suppose that it is good that the new engine and generator didn’t burn out his cortex like so many others, but there are times when I sense a… greater awareness.”

The two gave pause, looking back at the machine.

“Are ya’ alive, Rowdy?” Rainbow Dash asked.

The machine only glowered at her.

“Rainbow Dash, weren’t you one to lecture on how an intelligence, no matter how seemingly cunning, can’t be alive,” Rarity asked.

“Oh, not in the biological sense. If ya’ were feelin’ particularly liberal with the definition, I s’pose ya’ can say that Ol’ Rowdy metabolizes. But I ain’t yet seen a jack that can reproduce. Oh, there have been attempts. Complete self replication, cloning, things that don’t involve a factory line. Even some attempts at pseudo-sexual reproduction, which would be very interesting if…”

“Too much information, Dash,” Rarity replied.

“Right. So, two or more jacks can’t do the zero gravity two steps and produce a baby clank. Ain’t a species, ain’t got no inheritance. So, not really ‘alive’. But if it displays sentience, true self awareness and agency for its actions, then that’s a whole other kettle of fish.”

“You’ve been hanging around gryphons far too long, my friend. You’re starting to adopt their barbaric sayings,” Rarity said.

Rainbow Dash grinned. “Oh, thanks for givin’ me ideas on how to needle ya’. ‘God made all beings, but Gunhildt made all beings equal.’ ‘Killin’ two birds with one stone.’ ‘Like shootin’ fish in a barrel.’”

“Ugh. End me now,” Rarity said, rolling her eyes.

The machine vented steam, as though in agreement.

“Yes, I agree… and now I’m talking to my machine,” Rarity said, before the trio came before a river. “ This… might be a tad tricky…”

The entire river seemed as though it would normally be a flat, fairly subdued body of water. However, it was a roiling body of chaos now, waves coming up as high as a pony while illogically not breaking it’s banks.

“How does all the water stay in there?” Rarity asked. “It should be mud all the way up to your knees at least fifteen yards from the shore.”

“Not sure,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I’m guessin’ ‘weird Everfree magic’. Think Rowdy can ford it?”

“Not like that,” Rarity replied. “I don’t want to risk loosing him.”

“I’ll fly up for a bit then. See if something’s causin’ all this, or if there’s a way around it,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Are you sure it’s a wise idea?” Rarity asked. “We’ve been separated from the group. Nothing will keep you from being separated from me. We need our numbers.”

“Rarity, you’ve got a walking death machine that I personally built half of. I’ve got wings. If anything else goes wrong, I’ll be like brave Sir Pansy the Eighth and bravely run away. An’ then you’ll kill it like you always do, and everythin’ ‘ill be all rainbows and puppies and shiny like in general.

“‘Sides, from what I read this sort of magic seems to be into the whole ‘not too difficult to overcome by yourself’ thing. I’m sure we’ll be able to stay together.”

~ ~ ~

Zecora sat in quiet meditation. Too long the forest had been silent. Too long had she waited for Fluttershy, and whatever party she was bringing with her. The supplies for Fluttershy’s trip into the Zone of Alienation were already prepared, and a nice meal was already cooking.

The meal was a big tasty stew, made of herbs, berries, and some canned juices and food that she had stored in her provisions. It was perhaps a bit simple for the supposedly more refined pallets of Equestrian ponies, but it had two things going for it. First was that it was well balanced meal that could be made in bulk. Second was that it wouldn’t be hard to keep heated, and would be a warm meal off the trail.

There was a frantic knocking on the door, which disrupted Zecora’s meditations. She slowly stood up on all fours, cricking her neck a little bit.

“A frantic knocking,
Another pony in need,
I go towards the door.”

True to her far western archipelago style poem, the zebra walked towards the door. She opened it, revealing an orange pony in fashionable (yet pratical) flapper wear, with a gun saddle strapped around her barrel.

“Are you the zebra in the forest?!” Applejack asked franctically.

Zecora responded with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh who am I kidding, I need anypony’s help! I was walking through the Everfree and everypony disappeared!”

“I hope my question seems not rude,
But who were these ponies in relation to you?” Zecora asked.

Applejack though for a moment. “Well, there were about four militia ponies, my sister Zap Apple, Ranger Fluttershy, a couple of Moonanites and a weird alicorn thingy. Also a giant walking death machine.”

“Why?” Zecora simply asked.

“Because we’re facing down a physical goddess and having giant death machines on your side is just be bee’s knees,” Applejack replied, before becoming cross. “Are you gonna’ help me or what?!”

Zecora sighed.

“Ask not what seems a simple thing, nor wonder if it’s worth selling,
Your group is interesting but still your motives are more telling.
I can help you find your friends, if malevolent forces don’t mean their end,
Assuming our timing’s right, and our tracking true,
But for now let quench and fire, and put away the stew.”

Zecora walked inside of the hut, leaving the door open for Applejack. Applejack just stood outside for nearly ten seconds, before poking her head inside.

“Umm… is it okay for me to come in, weird poetry zebra? Or should I just... hey, is that stew?”

~ ~ ~

Twilight looked around.

She was lost in the Everfree. Once again.

Greeeaaat.

“This one does not believe that you are lost. This one believes that you are mearly dreaming,” another pony said.

Twilight looked around again. Standing quietly under a small shelter made of rocks was what she recognized as a younger version of Luna.

“Princess,” Twilight asked. Luna visibly winced.

“Please do not call this one by that title. This one had renounced any right to it when she had plunged her people into war. Furthermore, this one does not deserve it,” Luna replied.

“Okay then… Luna. How are you…”

“This is a dream, which is one of the aspects of the lesser light. Night is when most thinking beings rest, with few exceptions. It is the way of things,” Luna replied. “This one lulled you to sleep. The decedent of one of her generals is guarding your slumbering body, but is very concerned.”

“Okay,” Twilight replied. For some reason this made sense. Twilight figured that it was dream logic. “So what do you need to tell me?”

“This one is not sure,” Luna replied. She looked down at the ground, her loneliness almost palpable. “This one has been so lonely. She isn’t even sure if she is real, or simply the twisted fragment of a shattered mind.”

Twilight walked over to Luna. Sitting down beside her, she gave the much smaller and physically younger pony a hug. Luna winced at the contact, but did not try to run away.

“The body this one inhabits is controlled by a jealous and wrathful shard. We share some faculties, but this one cannot act openly to defy her. This one is too ashamed,” Luna said distractedly.

“You have friends,” Twilight said.

“No. This one’s friends were either killed by her own hoof, or lead to their deaths by this one’s selfish desires. Your friends are still alive, but are not here, world walker. The other ponies you have befriended, their allies and champanions as well, must each be tested. It is the way of the Elements. Unearned power leads to corruption, and untempered and unprepared souls even more so. Even the wrathful shard controlling this one’s body is but a tool for They Who Rule All,” Luna said.

“That… sort of make sense. In a storybook sort of way,” Twilight replied.

Luna looked to the side. “This one remembers what she is to warn you about. You shall be ambushed soon. You will not be directly harmed. Constellations shall threaten you, but the stars can be your friends. Remember to call upon the hunters and warriors, and embrace your destiny on this world.”

Twilight gave Luna a puzzled look. Luna simply smiled.

“Prophecies are meant to be vague things until retrospect is upon us. The elements shall be found and wielded by those who embody the Cardinal Virtues the living generations need to be reminded and taught of the most. Those who need to be shall be redeemed. And you shall wake up, right about…”

Chapter 8

“Mwuhahahahahahaha! Hahahahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Luna laughed from her perch on top of the stone ring.

“Are you done yet demon?” Vinyl Scratch asked drolly.

“Hmm…. Not yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Ugh… not again…” Twilight muttered, blinking the spots from her eyes. Even as she still trying to oriented to her surrounds, she began to ask questions. “What happened?”

“You got knocked out, the demon showed up, teleported us to an arena, and now we’re about to die,” Vinyl Scratch said.

“That’s… brief…” Twilight said confused.

“The ‘about to die’ part does that to folk,” Vinyl replied, looking down at Twilight. “Come on, get up. As long as there is life, there’s hope.”

Twilight nodded, looking around. The fallen princess manically laughing was new, but not wholly unexpected. The ancient stone arena they found themselves in was. The walls were scortched clean of the vines that made them home, though for the most part the weeds in the actual pit itself remained. Some strange poles were still up, as well as what appeared benches with holes and extension the length of a leg.

It was at that moment that Twilight Sparkle realized that she was in a scene from a Daring Doo novel.

“Hahahahahahaha! Oh, I have you now, my little ponies. We abolished blood sports long ago, but the facilities here were just too good to pass up,” Luna said with a wild grin.

“So is this the part where you monologue?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no. I’m not going to monologue. By definition, your participation makes this conversation a dialogue,” Luna replied. “I was going to toy with you, but the yellow one killed me.”

The two mares in the pit looked at each other in confusion.

“Oh, not me myself. Not I. But a peace of me. A small part of me has died right now because of the yellow one. And now I’m afraid I might not be well,” Luna said with a dramatic sigh.

“If you were even well to begin with,” Twilight muttered.

“Are you going to antagonize the demon holding us against our wills?” Vinyl asked.

“Maybe,” Twilight replied.

“And the worst part is that the yellow one didn’t even kill the right part of me,” Luna continued to rant. “And that makes me sad. But I know something that will make me happy. Oh minions~!”

At that moment several creatures jumped into the ring. They were somewhat familiar to Twilight. Canis minors, Leos, and even a small Scorpio.

“These asterism beasts were not around in my time, but they make such great pets!” Luna said gleefully.

“So you’re going to use constellation creatures to do your bidding?” Twilight asked incredulously.

“No… I’m going to use asterism beasts to do my bidding,” Luna replied.

“The proper term is constellation creature,” Twilight said. “I of all ponies should know.”

“’I of all ponies should know.' Yet another sun follower shows their ignorance of the liberal science of basic astronomy” Luna mocked, before beginning her lecture. “Constellations are arbitrary division of the celestial sphere, which itself is an arbitrary projection based on our position in the galaxy. Asterisms are the patterns pony associate with the nighttime sky. Out of all the royalty out there, I should be one to know.”

“That’s just… that’s not even wrong! I’ve never even heard of an asterism before now!” Twilight yelled. “It’s like you’re living in a different objective reality then I am!”

“Listen, I know you’re not a believer, but could we please not antagonize the demon possessing my god’s body? She personifies the moon and stars. She would probably knows this sort of thing,” Vinyl said. “Can’t just drop it and focus on, you know, getting out of here alive?”

“No. Because Princess Luna here is being so gods damn petty! Weren’t you all regal before this?!” Twilight yelled.

“Oh, that’s probably the mental trauma. But it’s okay! My new pets get some meat, and I extract my admittedly petty pleasure from the act while plotting my revenge against the yellow one,” Luna replied.

“So you’re just going to sit here and watch?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no. I’m going to watch from the safety of my bedchambers, in case you get any ideas or somehow escape,” Luna replied.

“Not if I can help it!” Twilight yelled, firing off a magical bolt at the self-proclaimed monarch. It passed harmless through Luna, the image of her fading.

“Oh pets~,” Luna said. “Keep the white one alive. She’s observed basic courtesy, and I would like to promote that behavior in my subjects.”

The creatures began to approach the duo slowly and warily, showing that they had an intelligence more advanced then basic preditors. Vinyl Scratch looked nervously at Twilight.

“So… what now?” the Mennonite-like unicorn DJ asked.

“Now I have to figure out how to save the day really, really quickly,” Twilight replied. “Fulfillment of prophecy seems to be a big thing right now. Any ideas?”

"Not right now," Vinyl replied. "So, which one is the yellow one?"

"Probably Applejack. She's always been one of the fighty one," Twilight replied.

Rainbow Dash flew over the forest, quickly finding the source of their troubles down stream. A long purple dragon, a water serpent Rainbow Dash quickly remembered, was having a crying fit. Which in itself was bad, but the fact that dragons are as a species somehow tied to concepts in a similar manner to the royals tended to complicate things further.

“Hello?” Rainbow Dash asked. Since there was no response, she yelled a little louder. “Hello?!”

The serpent looked down to her, still crying. For some reason the first thing Rainbow Dash noticed was it’s amazing moustache, as well as its full head of red hair. Which was strange. But then again, she had seen stranger while adventuring with Rarity.

“Good sir dragon, I am humbly referred to as Rainbow Dash,” Rainbow Dash began in another language, polyglot. It was one of a few useful things that she picked up in her travels, a language which was reproducible by most species capable of conventional speech. “I ask of thee if you can understand the manner of my speech, and if it current form is thusly acceptable to one of your stature?”

“Oh, honey, you don’t need to speak so formally,” the dragon replied. “I can understand you just fine, it’s just… nobody understand me!” he replied, before he began to cry again, churning up the river.

“Thank God for that,” Rainbow Dash replied, before quickly

“Because she left me!”

“Hey,” Rainbow Dash said. “Hey buddy! I can’t exactly give you a comforting leg around your shoulder. I’m willing to listen and help if you’d ACTUALLY TALK, okay?!”

The water serpent sniffled. “Okay.”

“Okay. So, relationship troubles?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeah,” the water serpent said despondently.

“Who… what… was it?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, another dragon. Her polyglot name is Draco. Awfully masculine if you asked me, especially for someone who is so pretty. Beautiful as the stars. And then…” He began to sniffle. “And then that evil mare walked into our lives and beguiled her away. What if it’s my fault? What if… what if I’m the one who ruined dragons for her? Oh what to do what to do?!”

“What’s your polyglot name?” Rainbow Dash asked, aware that the name actually given to him was probably not pronouncable by ponies.

“Steve,” the purple water serpent replied.

“Okay then, Steve,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m decent with kids. And might be able to do something about this relationship.”

“Oh, you can?!” Steve replied, seemingly starried eye.

“Now hold the applecart there!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed. “I said might. It would be a long shot.”

“… but it will still be a shot right?” Steve asked.

“Only if you promise to let go if it ends up not working out,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“But…”

“Promise!” Rainbow Dash said, now eye level with Steve. Steve flinched a little bit by the surprise and the suddenness of the action.

“Okay then. I promise,” Steve said sullenly. He then looked at her. “Thank you. This is more then most beings would offer me.”

“No problem,” Rainbow Dash replied with a grin. “Now if you don’t mind my asking… mind helping a couple of friends of mine across the river?”

The group of four ponies quietly made their way through the dense forest. Lyra was the one holding the hoof cannon with her magic, her aim much more precise then the other ponies with her magic in theory and it was her turn to be the gun bunny. Bon Bon seemed to be most aware of her surrounds, eyes darting to unseen threats as she was on point. Derpy brought up the rear, her one good eye doing much the same as the younger of the Pie triplets continued to pray quietly.

“You think that’s going to do you good?” Derpy asked.

“Do you not believe in the creators?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh, I believe in the creators. It’s you’re Princess Luna that I doubt,” Derpy replied.

“Everything will go according to the prophecy,” Pinkie said, before looking doubtfully to the side. “It has to.”

“Well, right now the best thing for you to do is keep your eyes forward. You’ll never know what’s going to…” it was then that the militia sergeant screamed.

A yellow and red shape, much like that of a pegasus, blurred out from the woods. Lyra attempted to fire the hoof canon, but was kicked in the ribs and lost control of her magic. Bon Bon began to charge, only to quickly stop when that shape held the canon to her face.

“If I were a predator, you would all be dead now,” a gentle voice, like steel wrapped in velvet said. It was Fluttershy, to everyone’s surprise. She didn’t seem entirely aware, a vaguely vacant look in her eyes. When she looked down at what she held in her hooves, dropping it with a horrified scream.

“Ranger Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked, concern quickly overwhelming her voice.

“I… I… I don’t... I tried to be… I just don’t know what went wrong,” Fluttershy whimpered, before she began to sob, collapsing to the ground.

“Hey, hey, I’m here,” Pinkie said, giving the other a gentle hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay. What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t mean to… I was so messy. They weren’t real ponies but… I don’t know. I don’t know,” she was quietly crying right now, the militia ponies looking between each other and then the pair. All three of them were particularly sympathetic. They have all seen battle sickness, after all, or even experienced it themselves.

The horror of the trenches, the aftermath of artillery, the wounded from posse skirmishes… the militia ponies had all seen horror. But not like this. What Fluttershy was going through seemed more feral… more veseral. And it frankly scared everyone a little.

“Nothing’s pure in this world,” Fluttershy said softly, somehow seeming like the loudest thing in the forest. “Everything has been tainted. Even near Ponyville. Especially near Ponyville.”

The group looked between each other, while Pinkamina continued to comfort the sobbing pony. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Things will work out.”

“No they won’t,” Fluttershy said.

“Yes they will,” Pinkamina said.

“No they won’t,” Fluttershy replied.

“They will,” Pinkie ground out.

“They won’t. Too many bloodlines have been tainted,” Fluttershy said, sounding like a completely different pony. She then laughed bitterly. “Yet yours remains pure, despite your desire to serve your defiled god. How ironic.”

“Fluttershy,” Pinki began. “You’re a good pony and you do Ponyville and Equestria a great service, so I won’t hold what you say against you right now but you need to SNAP OUT OF IT!”

Fluttershy began to cry again. Pinkamena hugged her again. “I’m sorry Fluttershy. But ponies need you right now. We’ll sort everything out later. Okay?”

The yellow pony finished crying, slowly standing up on her own hooves. She wipped away the last of her tears, unknowing spreading red in a streak across her face, before looking at everyone with a renewed determination.

“Alright,” she said quietly, steel in her voice once more. “I’m good at tracking. What are we trying to find?”

“What’s this thing?” Applejack asked, pointing to one of the mask.

“A valued friend,” Zecora replied, flipping through a couple of pages, before putting it into her own saddle bag.

“And these things?” Applejack asked again, pointing to another shelf, this one filled with a variety of small bottles labeled in a language she didn't seem to understand.

“Potions of love unending,” Zecora replied again, taking a few of the said potions and putting them in special velvet lined boxes, before putting those relatively small boxes into the saddle bag as well.

“And this thing?” Applejack asked, pointing to the cauldron at the center of the room.

“… words are failing me,” Zecora said flatly, before going back to packing.

“Oh, come on,” Applejack said flatly. “You aren’t going to tell me what you are doing straightwise, right?”

“Another day is passing by,
Yet the ponies know not better,
Things that are rushed end badly,
Yet planning brings misfortune,
Especially to the cursed.
Preparedness must be our way,
For time is short, lives also,
Especially in peril,
So heeding danger we go,
Into a forest unknown,
Save for the evil that lives there.”

Applejack stared at the zebra for a few moments, huffing a little. “I liked it better when you were speaking in word puzzles.”

“Do you wish to see your friends?” Zecora asked.

“You take care of family and friends,” Applejack replied.

“Then come with me, see this adventure through to the end.”

With that Zecora finished packing, and began walking into the forest. Lacking anything better to do, Applejack followed along behind her.

“RARITY! RARITY! WHERE THE MOTHERHUMPING BUCK ARE YA’, RARITY!” Rainbow Dash yelled out as she flew over the Everfree.

It wasn’t that she disliked flying. When you’re a pegasus, flying came as easy as walking. But it just didn’t seem to feel right sometimes. Her own pegasus magic had been directed towards traditionally Earth pony ends, and she felt closer to the ground and the trees then the air and the clouds.

And this forest… it just didn’t feel natural. Not to Rainbow Dash. Every instinct was screaming that things were wrong, that the natural world around this area needed to be managed and she just didn’t know where to begin. But it was worst then that. There was wild beyond being overgrown. Strange magic that seemed to be drawing from some other plane, where this place served as an intersection between this world and another one.

Rainbow Dash shook her head slightly, deciding instead to land closer to the ground. She was surprised by how philosophical she could get as a farmer, scientist, and gentlemare adventurer. As hooves touched dirt once more, she realized that to find Rarity she would have to do something she was loathed to do.

Rainbow Dash would have to think like the gol darn girl.

“Now, let’s see…” she began. “Rarity likes to go around pretendin’ to be all fru fru an’ stuff, but she’s just as much a country girl as ah am. She just likes to wrap it up different since she got that fancy piece o’ paper from Bale U. So she’s gonna’ get all antsy and hot headed and decide that she should go ahead and get in a scrap then leave me be, even though ah got this.

“Which means she would follow me, and this ain’t exactly her first rodeo. Least not since I dragged her to a couple, or that strange sort of rodeo that’s really a fertility festival the cannibalistic reindeer mares of darkest Occidentia had that we escape from a few years back. And she has that walkin’ killin’ machine with her, so…

“She’s gonna be right where I was, ain’t she?”

“Oh, poor dear,” Rarity said, as she patiently listened to Steve’s tales of romantic woe.

“Oh, I just know,” he said, sniffling a little bit before going to ground level. “The rainbow one said that she would help, but…”

“Our little zap apple just doesn’t understand matters of the heart,” Rarity said, gently patting the water serpent’s clawed hand. “Your love sounds like a professional girl. I’m not sure if trying to woo her would be worth it for you.”

“But I have to try,” Steve whined.

“I know dear. We all do,” Rarity said. She then raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been told this, but you have a magnificent moustache.”

“Oh, isn’t it just,” Steve replied. He stood up as proudly as a creature supported by an unnatural river could. “It took forever to get it just right. You just don’t know how hard it is to get the right conditioners all the way out here.”

“You have to tell me, just which one do you use,” Rarity asked.

Steve looked around. “Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course, dear,” Rarity replied.

He leaned in, quietly whispering something into the uniformed pony’s ear. Rarity’s expression told it all as she widened her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” she quietly said.

“Oh, I was the same way at first too, but honey, it is just perfect,” Stephen said, back to his usual posture. “It’s firm enough to hold everything you want, but it doesn’t crust over and it’s good for skin and scales. You know how Princess Celestia and the She-King God of the Diamond Dogs get their mane and hair to just look divine.”

“I will have to investigate this further,” Rarity said, before noting the cursing fit that came from the forest. Rainbow Dash stumbled out of the bramble, landing on her face with an ‘oof’ before looking up, peaking an eye through her cowboy had.

“You could have waited for me dear,” Rarity said mildly.

“Funny, ah thought ah would have told ya’ the same thing,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Couldn’t you have flown back?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash mumbled, incoherent except for a few curses.

“What was that,” Rarity asked, playfully flicking an ear.

“Ya’ coulda waited a few. I just felt like walkin’. Don’t care if pegasi live up in cloud cities, it just ain’t natural to be up in the air all the time. Even birds stand on the ground from time t’ time, ya’ know?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Would you mind giving us an escort, kind Sir Dragon,” Rarity asked in the most formal tone she could.

“Yes. Would you kindly escort this pain in the flank Princess for me,” Rainbow Dash said. “It’d be a real load off my shoulders.”

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that again,” Rarity ground out.

“An’ ah thought ah told ya’ not t’ go wanderin’ off,” Rainbow Dash pointed.

“Ladies, please, don’t fight,” Steve said, hands held up in a placating manner. “I’ll be happy to guide you out. Where do you need to go?”

“We would like to find our friends,” Rarity said mildly.

“Hmm… well, I know a few monsters who know a few hawks who might know where they are. Let’s start there first.”