A letter to myself

by RainRariPieJackTwiShy

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Slice of Life, Sad, Main 6, Applejack, Dark, Rainbow Dash
Length: 1685

A letter that Rainbow Dash wrote to herself to remind herself of what would happen every time she wants to tell AppleJack how she truly feels.

This is the letter that Rainbow wrote to herself to remind herself what would ever happen if she ever told Applejack the truth about how she felt. It's a good thing Rainbow isn't the element of Honesty, otherwise she'd be backed into a corner for this one. I am an AppleDash fan, but everyone needs a reality check every once in a while. Especially me. For hoping for something that could never happen. Mature tag for cussing.

Published 2016-06-22 09:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-22 09:40:01 UTC

The reason for the letter

It was a hot summer day. Both Rainbow Dash and Applejack were sitting in chairs on AJ's porch. The question that Rainbow was scared to ask AJ miraculously came around again. The question that might tear them apart, but Rainbow knew that even she didn't ask now she never would. And she definitely would never have a chance with the country mare. So she went for it....

"AJ can I ask you something?", she asked.

"Yeah Sugarcube," AJ said absentmindedly, staring off into space.

"AJ? Do you? I mean do you?", Rainbow stuttered, the normally confident pegasus stuttered.

"Well spit it out Sugarcube!", AJ said, getting impatient.

"AJ, do you like mares?", Rainbow asked after a second, wishing she had more guts. Her face contorted into an expression of pure hopefulness and anguish, she looked up to the sky, and prayed that it would all be alright. She thought her prayer had a chance of being answered when Applejack turned away. 'Maybe she's having trouble admitting it. She does come from a very traditional family. But she most likely would not.', Rainbow thought. 'I hope at the very most she's a tiny bit offended if she doesn't like this kind of stuff.'

Applejack continued to position herself in the other direction.

Rainbow Dash lightly put her hoof on Applejack's shoulder. Applejack slapped it off.

"Ow, Applejack! What the buck?!", Rainbow yelled.

"Did ya just accuse me of bein' a fillyfooler? Huh, Rainbow Dash?!", Applejack shouted, the fire in her eyes present and ever growing.

"I didn't accuse you of anything, I just wanted to know-", Rainbow Dash said but was cut off by the very pony she had wanted to listen.

"As if I could ever be a fillyfooler. The very thought of them disgusts me!", Applejack continued.

With every word, tears Applejack was unconscious to slid down Rainbow's cheeks. They soaked her coat and she brushed her mane over her eyes with her hoof.

"When I see two of them ponies goin' at it, it makes me sick to my stomach! It's not how it was meant to be!", Applejack was shouting now.

Rainbow's tears filled up her eyes, and dripped, trailing all the way down her hooves, along with her heart, which had fallen all the way down to her hooves as well. 'And guess who's fault that was.', Rainbow thought to herself.

Applejack moved closer to Rainbow, challenging her to call her a fillyfooler again. "Call me that sick little name again I dare ya!", Applejack yelled, angry tears brimming at the edges of her eyes.

Rainbow thought to herself, 'fillyfooler, I'm a fillyfooler, I must be sick in her eyes.'

Applejack continued her hurtful rant. Emphasizing the disgustingness of 'Lesbian ponies.' As if Dash cared. But she did. She cared so much it hurt. Hurt to see her friend calling her these names. So just had to hold her own. It wasn't confession time, it never would be, and she would not go down not having the last word! Her pride wouldn't allow it. So she did the only thing she could, she fought back. She tuned back in to Applejack's opinionated judging, and spit back a comeback as soon as she heard an opportunity.

"Who says filly foolers are so bad?!", Rainbow Dash said, a fire burning, building up in her once calm heart.

"Me, ma family. Everyone knows they are!", Applejack argued.

"They are ponies just like you are!", Rainbow yelled back, feeding the fire in her heart.

"Ha," Applejack chuckled. "They're not even ponies! They're misguided creatures with the wrong interests. They have the Tartarus in them, they do."

"They are just as much a pony as you are!", Rainbow yelled. "And gave you the bucking right to judge them! As if you'll ever know what it's like!", Rainbow shouted, vision red and tears blurring her already bleary eyes.

"You don't need to know what it's like to know that it's wrong!", Applejack said, stomping her hoof onto the ground with a force anypony but Rainbow Dash would rightfully be frightened of.

"Okay fine then country mare, don't ever let me cloud your limited judgement! You must be so smart growing up on the farm! I'm sure you had plenty of time to get more intelligent while you bucked apples your entire life!", Rainbow Dash said, verbally hitting her where it hurt.

"Are you calling me stupid?!", Applejack shouted and stamped her hoof on the ground.

"No I'm just wondering how much smarter you think you are than the rest of us lesbian ponies!", Rainbow shrieked, stamping her hoof. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!", Rainbow yelled even louder than before.

"Oh! I THINK I DO!", Applejack said.

"No, YOU DON'T,", Rainbow Dash screamed, tears completely engulfing her body.

""Lesbian ponies are nothing but good for nothing troublemakers! They are liars, and cheaters, and I would never dream of ever to touching one!", Applejack yelled.

"Do these look like the tears of a good for nothing troublemaker?!", Rainbow asked, yelling at the top of her lungs, shaking her coat out and letting her tears hit Applejack's coat.

"NO, bit see lesbian fillyfooler said will do anything to get you to entertain their selfish desires!", Applejack yelled, still not getting the hints Rainbow continued to throw at her her, and letting her angry tears increase in flow.

"I do not have that selfish of intentions!,", Rainbow yelled, pretty much broken, and muzzle to muzzle with Applejack. Their mouths were inches away, and they could both see the spit dribbling down each other's mouths along with the tears.

"I'm talking about those good for nothing lesbian ponies!", Applejack shouted.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING GET IT APPLEJACK, I AM A LESBIAN PONY!", Rainbow yelled.

Applejack glared back in shock, angry energy charging through her haunches getting ready to kick Rainbow.

"I'm one of those sick, lying ponies, Applejack! And you don't wanna hang around the likes of me, do you?!", Rainbow screamed, her tears laying in a puddle around her feet.

"I AM A DIRTY GOOD FOR NOTHING, SELFISH, LYING, CHEATER, LESBIAN PONY,", Rainbow yelled as loud as she possibly could. "There AJ! YOU HAPPY NOW? I AM OFFICIALLY A SICK PONY!"

At this point, Rainbow fell on her on her tears, sobbing, and AJ had had enough, so when Rainbow tried to stand back up, Applejack's hindlegs came at her face. She dodged quickly, luckily just in time. But she looked and saw the rage in Applejack's face. Them for once, Rainbow Dash walked away from a fight. Telling Applejack, "So that's how it is," quietly, and just flew away...

The letter

Dear me,

I shouldn't be so sad, but I am. Because everyone needs a reality check, and that includes me. So I wrote this letter to me in case I ever want tell my Jackie how I feel. Don't do it. Don't put her through that. You are the element of loyalty. You are the embodiment of loyalty. So if you tell her and she goes somewhere you can't follow, you just can't follow her. Not this time. She is amazing, and you cannot ruin that for her. Her family is traditional, and so is she. You know how she thinks. She likes stallions. Not mares. Especially not mares like you. Mares like me that don't get cleaned up. That mess her up, and tease her. So no, you can't tell her! You have no right to make her feel guilty, or take away her innocence. You have no right to convert her to liking people the way you do. And even though that sucks, that is your reality check. It's part of a routine. Your routine. You fly, you train, you chase your dreams, and you chase your mare, but you can't have her. Do you hear my voice in your head? You can't have her! Because Celestia won't ever allow it. Because she believes in things you don't. Heh, she actually believes in stallions. And so get over her, alright? I know you've tried long and hard to ignore the way she looks when she bucks those apples. But you can't. So this is your reality check. You can't have that Apple farmer. And you probably never will. So move on, and get something to do cause it'll be a long wait. You've liked her for 3 years after all...
Sincerely,

You...

P.S. Not even the mare in the moon could put you to sleep if you're thinking of her...

The aftermath.

A couple days after the fight with Applejack, Rainbow felt her chest and it felt hollow to her. Everything felt hollow. All the clouds she slept on immediately became stormclouds because of her mood, and there was always one poor unsuspecting pony standing underneath when the downpour started. On any other day this would've made her laugh, but today it made her feel horrible. All of the Elements besides Applejack watched her from afar.

"She has simply had her heart broken, hasn't she?", Rarity asked sadly.

"Yes, she has," Twilight confirmed.

"Is there anything we can do?", Pinkie asked, disturbed to see her friend like this.

"Well you could go convince Applejack that fillyfoolers aren't the scum of the earth!", Rarity grumbled.

"There's something strange with Applejack. She won't listen to reason, and she is usually a very down to Earth and calm pony.", Twilight said.

"I'm a fillyfooler, fillyfoolers aren't that bad," Fluttershy accidentally mentioned.

"Fluttershy you're a genius!", Twilight said and pushed Fluttershy out into the open.

Rainbow looked up. "Oh hey," she said before releasing her head back onto her cloud with a soft plunk.

"So, did you wanna talk about? Uh...," Fluttershy asked while all the ponies nodded their heads to try to mime what Fluttershy should do.

"Guys just come out, you've been watching me for hours, it's insanely creepy,", Rainbow,said as she nestled herself further into her cloud.

"Yes, we have", Twilight said, stating the obvious. "And we have a solution....."

Author's Note

The solution comes in the sequel, Fluttershy's letter.:pinkiehappy: