The life and times of Lafayette Ryder (Sex & violence)

by The Great FATSBY

Rating: mature
Tags: Fluttershy, Original Character, Big Macintosh, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Romance
Length: 9930

All the sexy times not included in the teen version of the story

This story contains every cloptastic scene not in the full story. Warning; Sex (Straight and bi) and spoilers to the full story.

Lafe and Lizzie #1
Lafe and Diana Pier
Lafe and Pinkie Pie*
(Drunken/high) Lafe and (Drunken/high) Rainbow Dash*
Lafe and Fluttershy and Big Mac*
Lafe and Twilight
More as they happen in the full story.

* Will be written later.

This will also include all chapters far to dark, violent, or gory to fit in the teen rated main story. Read them at your own risk.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/31524/The-life-and-times-of-Lafayette-Ryder

Published 2012-06-25 16:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-24 19:02:34 UTC

Lafe and Lizzie #1

Lizzie and I started dating after junior prom and we soon became inseparable. She had never had a boyfriend before and clung to me whenever we were together, I just enjoyed her company so much that I would ignore the world and focus on her. She was wonderful, so loving and affectionate, I could never get away from her without at least a half dozen kisses. I always found it funny that she had been so shy and had just opened up to me like that, to her a PDA was nothing more than an excuse to be close to me, tongue kisses and groping, all done by her mind you, were completely acceptable from the get go. I was just happy to be the one receiving all that attention and affection. I had loved her from the moment on prom night when she said yes but it wasn’t until the end of junior year that I knew just how much she loved me.

It was the last day of school, a Friday, and everyone was slacking off, even the teachers. We watched movies and played on our phones and talked all through the day. Students, and a few teachers, ditched the afternoon classes in order to chill or smoke or do whatever it is they wanted to do. During lunch everyone was allowed to leave campus but I stuck around just to be with Lizzie. For forty five minutes we sat in my SUV and held each other. We kissed softly, even in her wilder days she never was one for frantic make outs, she liked slow kisses that expressed all the love we felt for each other. I remember this day in particular for two big reasons; first, it was the first time I was bolt enough to feel up her body. I placed one shaky hand on her lower back and cupped her breast with the other. She laughed at me and I thought I had done something wrong. I panicked and pulled away but she caught one of my hands and placed it back to her body.

“It doesn’t bother you does it? That I’m so flat chested.”

I kissed her then, I rubbed my hands along her slender frame and pulled my lips from hers, just enough to speak but not enough to fully break contact.

“You’re beautiful Lizzie, something like that doesn’t matter.” I put my hand to her left breast. “Besides, if they were any larger I couldn’t feel your heart beat now, and I like that feeling.”

She smiled at my stupid reasoning, my flawed logic. She smiled at me. One of her hands held mine to her chest, the other rested over my own heart.

“Yeah, I like that feeling too.”

Our next kiss was interrupted by the late bell. We scrambled to get inside but once there I just couldn’t leave her on that note. I turned to her, ready to ask that we do something stupid, but she was a few steps ahead of me. I was pulled into an empty classroom and thrown to the ground. For such a small girl Lizzie could be very forceful. From my newly acquired spot on the floor I watched as she locked the door and closed all of the blinds, effectively making us invisible. I smiled but a thought popped into my head.

“I’ll miss wood shop.”

“No, I think you’re in the perfect place for wood shop.” The smile that crept over Lizzie’s lips is locked away in my mind, a memory never to forget.

Getting the just I unbuckled my belt as Lizzie lowered herself onto me. Her kisses were faster than normal, several a minute where other times she would have made them last. Her shirt came off followed by my own and her bra. Her body was perfect, not a single blemish or mark, not an ounce of fat. I ran my fingertips over her spine and she cooed.*Her pants were off and so were mine, my pink boxer brushing against her dark blue panties, something else entirely brushing against her thigh.

She yelped as it came in contact with her skin, I don’t think she expected me to be ready so soon. Her look of surprise turned to an expression of lust as she kissed my lips, my neck, my chest and stomach and finally my thigh. I sighed loudly as she began to run her fingers across my sack and then the tip of my head. Her hands were soft, from moisturizer, and cold from the ac unit blowing on us. Her touch was amazing and I had to fight not to end it all there. She stroked my erect manhood a few more times and then shocked me. She took my head in her mouth, and then the entire length as well. I could feel her lips at the base of my cock, I could feel her tongue swirling around, and I could feel my head resting deep in her throat. I bit a finger and moaned, I was afraid I might shout and alert someone to our position.

Lizzie slowly rose back up to the tip and looked me dead in the eye as she plunged down to the base again. I muffled a scream and tossed my head back, it was too much to take. After just a few minutes of fellatio I came hard as Lizzie rose to the top and came down once more. My seed filled her mouth and throat causing her to gag a bit but she didn’t take me out of her mouth, she didn’t stop. For another minute she sucked on and licked my softening cock. When she was done she looked up at me and swallowed loudly. All I could think was ‘Damn’.

She got up and started to dress but I stopped her. Still on the floor I grabbed her panties and pulled them off to reveal the cleanly shaven snatch behind them. * She placed a hand on the back of my head and pushed me forward and into her. I had almost no experience with oral sex, what little I did posses was from porn videos and what friends said, so I didn’t know what to do. Sensing my hesitation Lizzie began to instruct me on the art of pleasing women. I followed every command. A few minutes later I got the hang of it and went to town, licking and sucking, throwing a finger in here or there to add to the sensations Lizzie was feeling. I knew I was doing well because of the hand on the back of my head that kept clenching my hair and pushing me further into her. The moans of ecstasy were a good hint as well. Being the cheeky bastard I am I good an idea.

I hooked one of her legs over my shoulder, not stopping my work as I did, and then the other over my other shoulder. I held onto her soft cheeks and slowly stood up; never once during this series of motions did my tongue cease to move. I stood all the way up, the ceilings in my school were plenty high enough to accommodate such a thing, and ate faster and harder. Both of her hands were grasping my hair and she was moaning loudly every few seconds. Hearing her moans intensify and feeling the juices flowing from her and onto my face lead me to a simple assumption.

I was a beast.

I smiled and continued to pleasure her as best as I could. I ran my tongue up and down her slit and over each lip, I flicked at her clit, resulting in a very pleased squeal, and finally slid right in again. Lizzie was almost screaming now as I worked on her. I knew she would be coming soon so I picked up the pace. I moved my entire head as I went at her, screams of delight were my reward.

With only a second to spare I decided to make things more interesting. I began to suck on her clitoris and then clasped it between my teeth. She squealed again and I bit down, softly, not enough to hurt her or do any damage. It worked as I had hoped and made her scream. Her whole body began to shutter as she climaxed, her muscles clenched and she damn near scalped me with those sharps finger nails of hers.

I let her down and kissed her again on the lips; she embraced me and kissed back. We stayed there for a moment until a knock on the door spooked us. We both dressed quickly and prepared to accept whatever punishment lay beyond the door. There was no other way out and the windows didn’t open more than a crack so we were trapped.

I slowly opened the door, half expecting to find our principal, my wrestling coach, her angry parents, or maybe the police, instead I found a crowd of fifty some students who start cheering and giving me high fives. Lizzie and I made our way through the crowd and headed for our seventh hour classes. I got one more kiss in and she told me that she’ll meet me at my house tonight. I went to wood shop smiling like an idiot.

When I walked into class my shop teacher asks to have a word with me. Shit. We walked out of the room and he turns to me, a dead serious look on his face.

“So I noticed that you skipped, that’s not like you so I went around to see if I could catch ya. I found a crowd around a door down the hall and heard some…strange noises coming from inside. Was that you?”

I was terrified.

“Yes sir, it was my girlfriend and I.”

He looks at me and I was sure I’d get it now. He raised his hand and for a fleeting second I feared that he would strike me, instead he pats me on the shoulder.

“Good job Lafe, just don’t let me catch you skipping class again.”

That was the second best part of my day.

Lafe and Diana Pier

Freshman year in collage was going just as I had hoped; straight A’s, a few new friends (Cisco being one of them.), and an open relationship that was working out perfectly. I hadn’t actually used my swinger status yet to pick up anyone but I had used it to full advantage every weekend with Lizzie.

Spring break was approaching fast and Lizzie and I discussed our plans. We wouldn’t get to meet up any but she wanted for us both to have some fun and bang a few people. I was A-Ok with that, just one problem; I’m a smooth talker but I’m no pick up artist, I could get the panties off a girl quicker than if they were on fire but I couldn’t get a date if I were the last man on earth. My lucky break with Lizzie was just that; a lucky break.

My newest friend, Cisco, came to my rescue; he had been invited to a kegger the next night and wanted to bring all of his buds along. That was enough for me. I got ready and when the next afternoon rolled around we hit the town.

Getting the keg was our job, part of why we had been invited, but that was the easy part. I had an excellent false I.D. and the build to back it up; the fact that we weren’t even carded helped out too. Neither of us had a vehicle so we hauled three full kegs onto a bus and rode all the way to the motel. That still wasn’t the hard part. What Cisco had called a hotel was actually a swanky four star hotel worthy of celebrities and presidents. Knowing the room number, but lacking the ability to waltz in with kegs and take an elevator without rousing suspicion, we did the only logical thing. We dragged three kegs up seven stories of a fire escape and busted out a window to get into the room. We went into three rooms before we found the one the party was in.

The party was already underway and the room was packed. Two kind seniors offered to help us move the kegs into the kitchen where their kindness ended abruptly. Cisco and I split up after that, we didn’t want them to see us for fear of being kicked out, and joined the party. I drank, danced, and at one point crowd surfed into a wall.

That was when I met her.

She was a little short and a bit heavy but in a good way. Her hair was dyed neon pink and all of her clothes matched that particular shade. She saw me go headfirst into the wall and skipped over to help me up. Literally, she skipped over.

I took her hand and stood up, she told me her name, Diana Pier, and that I could call her Pinkie.

I offered her a beer, which she accepted, and introduced myself. I started to chat and she started to flirt. I didn’t really notice it until her hands were on me, one grasping my ass and the other snaked down my jeans. Diane stood on her tiptoes to whisper something in my ear. Five minutes later we were in one of the many bedrooms in the suite.

I was still working on my belt by the time she was fully undressed. She slid over and helped me out. Her body was incredible; curvy in all the right places and had just enough meat on her to look good. I tried to kiss her but she moved faster than me. Where I had been about to try my luck at second base she ran right past. I nearly bit my tongue of as she began to suck the tip of my cock. She didn’t stay there for long, after only a few seconds she began to work her way up and down my shaft. It soon became apparent that she had a great deal of experience with this.

She stopped just as suddenly as she had started and I was about to offer something in return.

Instead of hearing me out she hopped right on. Before I knew it I was all the way inside her. She shoved me back onto the bed and rode me hard, but she couldn’t seem to focus on any on position. She kept moving around, abandoning my dick in order to switch positions every few minutes. Ten minutes in she returned to cowgirl and started to work furiously, pulling herself clear off my cock with every upward movement and then all the way to its base with every fall. She was bouncing so hard that I actually feared that she would give herself a black eye.

Sensing that I would be done soon I took the imitative. I grabbed her thighs and lifted her up, I the stood beside the bed and eased her back down again. Never before had I been with a woman that was so energetic or excited, I still feel bad for whoever had to clean the sheets after us. In the short time we had been fucking Diane had came at least four times. I felt her climax for a fifth as I picked her up and impaled her woman hood. I had a hold of her by the legs and the ass and I went crazy. I lifted her entire body up and back down onto my rod; I licked and nipped at her titties as she went. I pressed her against a wall and began to thrust quickly, making her scream in pleasure. It was wonderful but it didn’t last.

Diane pulled herself off of me and kneeled down to take me into her mouth once again. I blew my load as soon as her soft hands stroked my shaft. I came all over her face and her tits. And she laughed! Most women would be pissed but this girl just laughs it off and grabs a towel to clean up with.

I stood in mild shock as Diane wiped her face and chest of and dressed. She walked over to me and gave me a sharp slam on the ass.

“We should do this again sometime Sugar.” She smiled and left.

I dressed and left the room. I searched all over the suite but she was gone.

I ran into Cisco, who was being chased by several seniors, and we left in a hurry. Once out of the hotel he confessed to me that he hadn’t scored, he hadn’t even gotten a beer. I gave him a pat on the back and took him to a bar to buy a few rounds. We drank for a bit and went back to our dorms.

That weekend I called up Lizzie, turns out she got laid at a party to, some southern guy named Mac, we traded stories and laughed. I told her I loved her and she said the same.

For all the trouble I went through because of that party it turned out pretty well.

Lafe and Twilight

Lafe and Twilight

“Twilight Sparkle,” She looks in my eyes. “Are you trying to seduce me?”

“Maybe.”

“You need a bit of practice, let me show you.” I take her hoof and kiss the spot where the sock ends and her fur begins, I kiss an inch above that and an inch above that. I continue my ascent until I’m looking in her eyes.

“Twilight Sparkle,” She whinny’s softly. “Would you care to accompany me upstairs and share a bottle of wine?”

“MmmHmm!” she nods her head vigorously and bites her lip again.

“After you.” I point the way and she runs to the stairs in a flash.

With a small grin I follow.

I trip over the abandoned saddle as I come into Twilight’s room but manage not to fall on my face. Twi is already lying down on the bed and eyeing me hungrily.

“I’ve never been with a human, I can’t wait to study your anatomy.”

“You’re not gonna play teacher and make me the naughty student are you?”

“No, not today, maybe later.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I pull my shirt over my head and kick my boots off as Twilight watches me.

“Mmm, it’s strange, stallion’s muscles don’t really show from beneath their fur but I can see your abs and Pecs. Sexy!" Twi smiles at me and licks her lips.

“Years as a marine gave me this body, I’m kinda proud of it.”

“You should be.”

I yank off my pants and hop onto Twi’s bed.

“So I have to tell you something Lafe,”

“Yes?”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“Hmmm, I’ll have to step my game up and make it real special then.”

Twilight nuzzles my chest a bit and then looks up at me.

“Ready?”

“Always.”

I kiss her gently and brush her main absentmindedly but she picks up the pace. Before I know it her rough tongue is sliding into and around my mouth. I join her and start rubbing from her shoulders to her bank and finally to her flank. When I touch her cutie mark she yelps and glares at me

“Do that again!” she commands.

I gladly obey.

I sit criss cross with Twilight on my lap as we kiss, both of my hands are on her flanks and I start moving one further back. She has her hooves wrapped around my waist and keeps rubbing her chest against mine. The thin fabric of my boxers is all that separates my erect cock from her already wet haunches, with a deft no hands maneuver I free myself and prod at Twilight who gasps and squeezes my waist harder.

I kiss her again and keep massaging her flank with one hand as I position myself below her with the other.

“Gentle, please.” She says.

“Always.” I whisper into her ear as I slid in and pop her cherry. She squeaks and moans as I pull out some and push back in.

She breaks the kiss and buries her muzzle into my neck as I start too sped up.

“Oh sweet Celestia!” She moans right as I force my entire length into her.

“Harder, faster, please.” She begs and I quicken my rhythm.

She starts bobbing up and down as I thrust into her soaking wet marehood, she’s tight and wet and I already feel close to coming, but I want her to be satisfied. I lift her off of my lap and set her down with her back to the bed. I scoot down and slide a finger, and then two deep into her sex. She moans loudly as I start moving and wiggling my digits.

I add my tongue to the mix and Twilight screams as I lick her slit. I tease her for a second and slip my tongue in, she screams even louder.

I find a good pace, fingers in, lick her clit, fingers out, and slid in my tongue, and she goes nuts. Within a minute she’s panting, moaning, and bucking her hips into my face. She’s close, I can tell.

I pull my fingers out to her dismay and reposition myself. Once she sees what I'm doing she starts giggling like a school…filly?

I get square with her pussy and drive straight in. She squees and bucks into me as I start. I thrust all the way in and pull out to the tip of my cock every time and her grunts and groans tip me off to her coming orgasm. I speed up as her walls clench around my throbbing member, she screams in passion, I shout in pleasure and we both come as one.

I lie in bed with Twilight snuggled up beside me, she keeps kissing my cheek, or neck, or jaw every few seconds.

“That was wonderful Lafe.”

“Eeyuup!” I smile and look at her as I kiss her.

“Ready to go again?” She asks out of the blue.

“I think I’m up for it.”

“That’s good, because you skipped class yesterday and Miss Sparkle is going to have to teach you a lesson!”

Damn.

I smile and smugly retort.

“Only if you promise to give me extra homework!”

Gratuitous violence- Don Muerdenzo Manuel

Warning: XXX rated chapter! Read this at your own risk. This chapter includes graphic torture scenes and sexual exploits. This does happen in the story but you do not need to read it, it stands alone. All that happens that influences the main story is that Lafe goes a bit crazy and Jeff isn't doing a thing. This is your last warning.

“Don Muerdenzo Manuel?” I ask the restrained Griffin as I walk up to him.

“FUCK YOU BITCH!” he replies. “You fucking faggots will never get me to talk; I’ll die fir… what the fuck is that?” he nods his head towards my left hand.

“Pliers.” I say calmly as I approach him. He’s strung up, tied to the ceiling by his hands and has his legs bound at the knees and ankles, but is not attached to the ground. I swing him hard for a bit, spinning him quickly and stopping him suddenly at random intervals, until his face turns green and he starts retching. I step back as he vomits up pink mush. Behind me I hear Cadance gag and Nite Hawk dry heave a bit. “Yummy.” I say enthusiastically. I scoop up a handful of the half digested… rabbit, I think, and force it back into his beak. Cadance spews into a trash can and Hawky turns dark green. Don’t these ponies know genius torture techniques when they see them? He tries to bite me as I shove my hand into his mouth so I knee him in the groin. Hard. He hurls again but my fist is in the way of the bile’s exit. He gags; both on his own stomach acid and my fingers, and tears stream down his eyes. I conjure up a rag and a few zip ties to shut him up while I work. I don’t plan on removing the vomit soaked gag for a bit but when I do… well; he’ll be just dying to spill his guts then. I take the pliers out and kneel down by Muerdenzo’s feet.

“This little piggy sold drugs,” I squeeze the toe just enough to elicit muffled screams. I move to the next one. “This lil piggy killed some ponies,” I twist this one until it’s about to break. I release it and move on. “This little piggy corralled an army to fight my nation,” I pull until it pops. I run out of toes on the left so I switch to the right foot. “This little piggy got caught,” I twist and pull until I hear pops and cracks. Manuel screams through the rag twice as loud as before. “This little piggy won’t talk,” I crush this toe with the pliers and listen to the Griffin’s howls of pain. I move the pliers to his last toe. “And this little piggy will die!” I crush, twist, and pull until blood flows from his foot and I can see bone. I grasp his ankle with my right hand and yank back with the pliers in my left. The toe tears lose and Manny screams and sobs. “That little piggy won’t be the last to die, and if I get done killing the other pigs and I still don’t hear what I want to,” I stand and look him in the eye. “The last to die won’t be a piggy, it’ll be a griffin.” I smile and hear whimpers and… I look down and see a thick yellow stream of liquid flow down Manny’s legs. I laugh and slide my hand up his wet thigh until I reach his sack.

I squeeze until I bust a nut. He blacks out.

“And that, ladies and gentleponies,” I spin on a heel, look at the ponies standing by the doorway, and swing my arms into the air. “Is stage one of my patented, foolproof approach at extracting information from unwilling informants.” I smile and clap my hands together. “Any questions?” Cadance faints, Luna and Hawky both vomit and Celestia… Celestia just smiles at me.

“What will you do to him next?” she asks in a sexy voice.

“A better question,” I tell her. “Is what won’t I do to him next?”

Luna leaves and Hawky requests, and is approved, to depart. He carries Cadance away just as Manuel wakes up. I turn to him and summon up a switchblade and a two foot long dildo. He looks at me, I look at him, he shakes violently, and I just smile.

I set to work on Manny; plucking his feathers one by one, cutting the flesh off of his wings, slicing his flesh in random patterns, circumcising him, etching my name into his ass cheeks, playing with the dildo and teaching the griffin the true meaning of ‘pink sock’ and discomfort. He cries on and off and screams into his gag constantly. I manage to snap Black thunder, the nickname I lovingly gave to the dildo, in half somehow so I have to improvise. I can hear Celly/ Molestia/ Soulless Sun masturbating furiously and moaning loudly behind me. As I near my finish I turn and blow my load in her face, surprising her and causing her to start shoving her entire hoof into herself. I return to Manuel and start to shave his pubes with my switchblade, I stop after he passes out again.

“That was fun,” The wet Alicorn says. “Can I help?”

“No.”

“Aww, why not?”

“Because you need to listen to what we’re about to be told. OK?”

“Fine.” She sighs.

I wait until Muerdenzo wakes to take the gag out of his mouth.

“Spill it.” I order. He does. Manny tells us everything we need to know and then some, when he’s done I grab his beak in my left hand and smile. “Nobody likes a snitch.” I tell him as I twist the bone to the side. Celestia shudders and Manuel nearly feints as a series of cracks echo throughout the room. I pull and the beak and tongue tear free from the drug lord’s face. He tries to scream but can’t do more than create a snarling cough. I hear him enough to keep him from bleeding to death and stand back.

“Celestia, do you believe in breeding programs?”

“Uh,” she babbles nonsensical words for a moment. “Yes, I guess.”

“OK, is this fag fit for reproduction?”

“Not really. Where are you going with…? OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT!?!” Celestia shouts as I castrate Manuel and set fire to his genitals. I turn and walk to the sink in the room. As I wash my hands I speak to Tia.

“Well, I’m done with him. If you need help with making the others speak just introduce them to Manny here and threaten to send me in, they’ll talk pretty damn quick after that. If you need me don’t hesitate to call me. I’m going home, same time tomorrow?”

“Uh…” Celly nods at me.

“Toodles.” I wave at her and vanish.

/\/\/\/\

“Here you go boyyyOH!” Twilight tries to tell Starbright and Thaddeus that dinner is served but the sudden grip on her plot distracts her. She turns around and grins at me. “Odd time to be in the mood.” She says.

“What can I say?” I ask her. “I’ve spent the last two hours running around setting off bombs and scarring the piss out of an army, then they saw me and chased me all the way to Japony and back.”

“Ahh, so I take it that things went well.”

“That would be an understatement, they went perfectly! Half the army has surrendered, all the leaders are currently in Equestrian prison, and best of all there was not a single casualty today!” I squeeze her flank as I lie to her and lean over to kiss her, it seems that she’s in the mood too; she slips a little tongue into the kiss.

We feed the boys and put them to bed in their new room. Soon afterwards we race to our own room and jump into bed. Twilight immediately burrows under the covers and starts nuzzling my groin, oh dear God that cold wet nose feels good on my cock. I smile as she starts licking and sucking on me, I lace my fingers behind my head, lean back and enjoy the work my wife is doing. As Twi is slurping on my dick I can hear Dulcie calling to me, I talk to her for a second and apologize for losing my cool. She forgives me and backs out of my mind…most of the way.

For the rest of the night as Twilight and I make love I can sense Dulcie watching from afar, I would hope it’s just that she cares for me so much that she couldn’t stand leaving me entirely, knowing her I figure it’s less that and mostly the thrill of voyeurism. I laugh as I eat my little pony out and tell Dulcie to enjoy the show.

At least she’s the only one watching; Dallas ditched my mind as soon as I started hurting Manny, and Jeff… Hell, Jeff hasn’t been in my mind for days.

Lafe and Twilight and Molestia?

The guard escorts us all the way to Celly’s door where he politely bows and then makes a hasty retreat. I rap on the door to the tune of shave and a haircut, the secret pass code of sorts, and step back. We hear footsteps and a loud thud from inside the room, Twilight looks to me as if I should know what her mentor’s up to in there, I just shrug my shoulders and wait for the door to open. My wait is short as just a minute later it opens and a white muzzle appears in the crack.

“Twilight, Lafayette, is that you two?”

“Who else were you expecting today?” I ask snidely.

“Nopony else, I just wanted to make sure that it was the two of you before I opened the door,” she explains, “now let me get ready. You can come in when I say so alright? Not a second sooner and make sure to pull the door behind you.”

“OK Celestia.” Twilight agrees.

Tia shuts the door and we hear footsteps again and then frustrated groans, a few more thuds, and finally a cry of victory.

“You can come in now!” the princess of the sun sing songs to us.

“Ladies first.” I say, holding the door for Twi. She walks in and I follow her. What we see inside is… unexpected to say the least.

Celestia is standing proudly in the middle of her room in some of the strangest attire I’ve ever seen; a faux leather biker cap and matching saddle accompanied by a riding crop and…oh God. I look at the enormous strap-on Tia’s wearing and nearly faint.

“Call me Molly.” Celestia turned Molestia demands. Twilight squees like a schoolfilly about to be rewarded for an A+.

“Well I’m out.” I wipe my hands and turn to leave but a purple haze of magic stops me and drags me onto the bed.

“You’re not going anywhere sweetheart,” Twilight says in her kinkiest voice, “not until we’re through with you anyway.” The purple aura moves down to my jeans and starts undoing my belt while a new, white aura takes the task of restraining me. I fight not to laugh as my pants and boxer slide off, the magic tickles something fierce. My shirt comes off next and then my boots, how Twilight pulled my jeans over my shoes I’m not quite sure but she obviously managed it somehow, and now all I’m left with are my socks and a slightly stiff johnson.

“Oh,” Celestia grumbles and looks at Twilight, “when you described it you said it was bigger.” Twilights just laughs.

‘OK, you know what? No more mister nice guy, I think it’s time to show these girls what I’m capable of.’

I crack my neck and think for a moment, as I concentrate my cock hardens and elongates to its normal size and then beyond that. I don’t stop until I’m nearly sixteen inches long and two and a half wide. I smile and break Celly’s magical hold on me.

“Excuse me?” I say calmly.

Celestia and Twilight both turn their attention back to me and then to my lower body.

“Damn.” They say at the same time.

“What was that you were saying?” I ask in a jovial tone.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing!” Celestia protests.

“Well that’s good, because if you had said something about my size I’d half to-” I jump up from the bed and behind Tia, in one fluid motion I hop onto the saddle on her back and conjure a bit for her, “-DO THIS!!” I finish my sentence as I force Celly to kneel under my weight. Twilight just watches in awe. I look over at her and smile.

“So who’s first?” I ask confidently.

“DIBS!” Twi shouts lustfully.

“DIBS,” Celestia shouts a moment to slow, “Dammit!” she mumbles over the bit.

I stand and let Celly up as I make my way over to a very excited purple mare. Twi starts to turn around but I shake my head at her.

“Now be a good little filly and suck my dick.” I tell her. She giggles softly and starts to lick my throbbing member. I hear Celly behind me take her strap on off and start masturbating to the sight. “Put that damn thing back on and get over here Molestia, you know you want too!” I say while Twilight starts to take my immense new cock into her mouth. I place a hand on the back of her head and urge her on as her mentor walks around us and starts to grope her rear. “What are you waiting for Molly?” I ask the Alicorn. “Take a lick, it tastes just like raisins!”

Twilight tries to argue but between the meat in her mouth and the sudden tongue fondling her marehood she finds speaking somewhat difficult. Molly must have just hit a sweet spot because Twi’s legs buckle and she slides forward to my great pleasure.

“So Twilight,” Molly says as she repositions herself behind her star pupil, “I do expect a friendship,” she slams her hips and the entire strap on into her student, “Report after this is over.” She starts to thrust rhythmically and stroke Twi’s tail. “And make sure not to skimp on the details.”

“Mmmhmm!” my girl garbles while gargling on my cock.

“Good, I can’t wait to read it. Again and again and again!” Molly laughs and slams into Twi again before returning to a steady rhythm.

I hold on to Twilight’s ears gently and start to push myself further into her mouth. I match Molly’s pace and really start to enjoy this visit. One of Molly’s forelegs moves to my chest and the other soon follows. I look up from Twi and see an alabaster muzzle just an inch from my face and a slender pink tongue licking the rosy red lips around it. I lean in and envelop the Alicorn in a soft, slow kiss that soon turns sloppy and frantic. It’s not how I like to kiss and it’s not very pleasurable but what the hell, I already have a beautiful mare going down on me, I think I’m good on pleasure. I fumble for a second but manage to keep up with the quick moving mouth that mine’s attached to. A foreign tongue slips past my lips and wraps around my own, I fight it for a moment but then relax and enjoy the sensation.

I break the kiss and pull away from twilight.

“Now you can turn around,” I instruct the panting purple mare, “and Molly can lie on the bed right there with your tongue in her puss. Sound good?”

“So good!” they both agree and get into position.

I wait until they’re both ready and Twi’s started to eat out the leather bound goddess before I start. I lube up a bit and cast a quick spell, no more babies for me! Well at least not for a while and definitely not anytime soon. I get right behind my soaking wet wife, I aim, and-

“GAHHH!!!!” Twilight shouts as I fill her up and start humping furiously. I ride her hard and fast now because I know she wants it and I know I can keep going all night long, Big Mac taught me all of his secret techniques and damn do the work well!

Twilight and Molly are both panting hard when Twi hits her first orgasm. She screams so loudly that I’m sure the whole castle heard it. While Twi rides the waves of her recent climax I move on to the hungry pilf (Pony I’d like to fuck) beside her. I slid a few fingers and then my entire hand into Molly’s slit, she’s not loose or anything she’s just big. I wiggle my fingers and nibble at her clit until she starts to beg for it and when she asks I give. I slam into her even harder than I did Twilight, I start to thrust furiously and I rub her outer folds and teats as I do. In just a minute I bring her to the edge of her orgasm. I feel her body shudder in ecstasy and I stop cold and pull out.

“Wha?” she asks confusedly. “Why’d you stop?”

“Do you want me to put it back in?”

“Yes!”

“What was that? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

“I said stick it back in!”

“One more time?”

“I WANT YOU TO SHOVE YOUR COCK BACK IN ME!” she screams. Who am I to refuse a pretty ponies request? I shove it back in just as she said, but she didn’t specify which hole so…

“AAAAIIIEE!” she shouts as I bury myself balls deep in her ass.

“My bad!” I say after she shrieks. I start to pull out but her voice stops me.

“I didn’t…*pant pant*… say stop!”

I smile and thrust again.

Twilight lies next to me and hooves herself as I buttfuck her mentor. Every once in a while she’ll suck on my sack or lick Molly’s clit but for the most part she just sits there and enjoys the show.

“I have an idea!” she finally says. I pull out of Molly’s tight ass and we both look at her. She hands Molly the strap on and smiles.

“Lafayette,” Molly says, “would you be so kind as to bend over?”

I grimace but think ‘what the hell’ so I bend down and hold my ass up. Twilight giggles and Molly cackles.

“I cannot believe you just did that!” she shouts between bursts of laughter. “What are you? A fag-” her insult stops mid sentence as I turn around and cum on her face and Twilights. She licks her lips and looks royally pissed, for a second I think that I’ve just earned a lifetime in the dungeons, that is until she turns to Twi and gives her a big lick across the cheek. “Tastes salty, how odd.” She comments. I look at her in terror, expecting punishment from her. Instead she just laughs loudly and rests her head on my chest. Twilight busts out giggling as well and lays her head on my neck.

We lie like this for a few minutes until a pair of hooves, one white and one purple, get my soldier standing at attention again.

“Who’s first?” I ask.

“DIBS!”

“DIBS! DAMMIT!”

<><><><><>

Meanwhile, in the personal chambers of the princess of the night.

<><><><><>

“SUCK MAH DICK BITCH!”

“FUCK YOU WHORE!”

“YOU’D LIKE TO DYKE!”

“I BET YOU’D LOVE THAT LIL MISS BUTCH!”

“KEEP CALLING ME NAMES AND I’LL BEAT YOU HIGHSCORE ON PONYKART TOO!”

“Wait,” Luna drops her Haystation 3 controller and looks at the human girl next to her, “you wouldn’t really do that would you?”

“Nah, unless you keep calling me names and then imma blow you piddly ass score outta the water!”

“Really?” Luna asks her competition. “I don’t think you even could.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah!”

“Well let’s play right now! Winner sucks loser dick!”

“Well I’d better get one quick cuz you’ll be gagging on it soon!”

The princess of the stars sets up the game and they start playing. All the way through the game insults are launched, punches are thrown, and a few gropes finagle their way in to the mix. By lap three both controllers are abandoned and their rightful owners are busy wrestling, choking, and kissing each other to even notice who won. Luna closes the curtains, locks the door, and performs her favorite feat of magic. Her angelic friend looks at the new appendage that’s growing between her blue legs and smiles.

And then they fucked.

Plotholes

Author's note: This is important to the main plot so you should read it. This chapter is in with the sex & violence side stories because of the excessive use of adult terms. If you don't read this chapter you won't miss out on anything much that won't be explained later in the main story. Enjoy!

“So where is this place at Twi?” I ask my wife as we drive away from the library.

“I don’t have the address memorized!” she shouts defensively. “It’s not like I’ve actually been there before, I just, uh, have heard about it.”

“So where is it?”

“Corner of Mane and Saddle Street, take a left here and a right in three blocks.” Twi whispers ashamedly.

“Mane and Saddle it is.” I say with a snicker.

I notice the roads get rougher and bumpier as we near the store, I also notice the large neon X’s on the storefront.

“Plotholes,” I read another sigh aloud, “serving Ponyville fine literature, husbandry aids, plot devices, and essential accessories since 69 B.N.M.” I turn to Twi as we exit the car. “What’s B.N.M. mean?”

“It means before Nightmare Moon.” Luna quietly answers me and I leave it at that.

We walk up to the door which swings open before I can even grab it.

“Hello and welcome to Plotholes!” a wrinkled, brown mule greets us. “Might I see some identification before-” the mule stops when he sees Luna behind me. “Your majesty, what an honor it is to have you here, please come in!”

“Thank you kind sir,” Luna trots up and smiles at the ass, “I assure you my friends here are all of age and may join me in your establishment.”

“Certainly, your highness.” the donkey bows and holds the door for us all, as Twi and I enter he stops us for a second. “Miss Sparkle, your new books are in!” the mule and I both smile; his is kind and warm while mine is cruel and trollish, as Twilight blushes and quietly thanks him.

“Never been here before eh?” I whisper to Twi as we walk in.

“Shut up!” she retorts quietly and I laugh.

My evil laughter is quenched by the sight before me’ as far as the eye can see, er, all the way to each of four white walls lie shelf upon shelf of latex, faux leather, and plastic toys and devices, a wooden magazine stands houses dozens of small paperback books, and a counter holds the ‘new arrivals’.

“Holy shit!” a voice behind be swears. I turn around to find Fish standing in the doorway sweating and out of breath. “You guys ditched me so I followed your asses here, this is an impressive collection.” He says between wheezes and gasps for air.

“Thank you,” the mule says from his spot behind the counter, “if any of you folks need me just holler, my names Shirley by the way.” I look at Shirley who I had previously thought to be a man and blink a few times. Adams apple, pearl necklace, male build, makeup, broad shoulders, long, curly blond hair, male… parts…eh, what the fuck, it’s none of my business anyway. I turn back to the shelves and look at the toys on them; dildos of every description and a few I couldn’t describe if I tried, fake vags modeled after a mare’s ass, gags, crops, kinky outfits, fake unicorn horns, and…

“Luna,” I ask the closest pony to me, “what the fuck is this?”

“I have no idea.” She tells me before walking off with Dulcie to look at another aisle.

“That,” Shirley informs me, “is a horn shaver, some unicorns find that very…pleasurable I guess, personally I can’t see the appeal.”

“Wut? It looks like a pencil sharp- oh God!” I put the item down and try to push horrible, painful thoughts out of my mind. “Do you know what that could be used for?!?” I ask Shirley as I look away from the device. He/she just smiles and goes back to reading a book.

I walk away from that shelf and to the next row where I find my daughter and her marefriend looking for the right size of crotchless panties. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to come here after all.

I stroll over next to Fish who is examining an array of solo gratification tools.

“How would that even work?” he mutters wile staring intensely at a silicone device shaped like a cactus combined with a hockey stick. I realize how it could be used and shudder in fear as I walk back to the front.

I see Twilight whispering to Shirley and exchanging a small bag of bits for a black sack of cheesy romance novels. I sneak up behind her and grab a couple from the bag.

“Daring Doo and the tentacle monster, My mistress the Griffin, and, oh I love this one, The pirates who raided my booty!” I laugh and hand the books back to a very mad and blushing Twilight. “Oh babe you have got to let me read these sometime!” I laugh until I snort as I silently read off a few a few more titles.

“Wait,” Twilight asks cautiously, “you aren’t mad that I read these?”

“Mad? Mad! These are awesome! The only thing I’m at all mad about is the fact that I haven’t gotten to read any of these yet!” we both laugh at the stupidity of both the novels and twilights paranoia but something on the new arrivals table catches my eye and breaks my concentration. “I’ll be right back Twi.” I say to my wife as I walk over to the card table to inspect something closer.

I stare at a marvel of engineering and ingenuity for a moment that seems to last a lifetime, I gingerly pick it up and smile. Fish, Twilight, and Dulcie are next to me now looking at it as well.

“Do any of you know what this is?” I ask.

“A dildo?” Dulcie offers.

“No,”

“A really big Dildo?” Twi tries.

“Still no,”

“A REALLY FUCKING HUGE DILDO?” Luna shouts in her royal Canterlot voice.

“CLOSE, BUT NO CIGAR!” I yell back.

“Dude,” Fish chuckles, “that’s the Penetrator from Saint’s Row!”

“Yep,” I agree, “the lethality of a baseball bat and the absurdity of a sex toy… this is beautiful! I’m getting this!”

“What?” Twilight asks. “Wait, no, no, no, no! NO! I am not using that!” she refuses repeatedly. While Dulcie facepalms next to her.

“It’s not for you.” I tell her.

“I’m not using it on you either!!” Twi exclaims making Dulcie weep a bit and Fish gag.

“Oh that’s nasty man!” he says.

“It’s not for me either!” I inform them all.

“Then what is it for?” Luna asks as she walks over.

“This-” I tell her as I take a step back and swing the four foot purple penis. It hits Fish in the side and knocks him on his ass.

“Jesus H. CHRIST!” he proclaims as he collides with the floor.

“THAT,” I point at my incapacitated friend, “is what the Penetrator is for! From now on whenever I ride into battle I shall use this as my weapon!” I hold the half limp, larger than life phallus above my head and cheer. Unbeknownst to me, but beknownst to those watching me, Fish stands again and acquires a weapon himself, I only become aware of this new threat when a long set of heavy Ben Wa balls on a metal chain whips out and hits my stomach. I feel the air leave my lungs as I collapse on the ground right next to where Fish so recently lie. I roll out of the tangled sex toy and grab a fake plot from a nearby stand. I chuck the synthetic genitalia and hit my target; the plastic pussy slams straight into fish’s face and brings him back into a shelf of self satisfaction supplies (Pinkie Pie proudly promotes my amazing alliteration and all its awesomeness). I rise to my feet and point the Penetrator at him threateningly.

“What are ya gonna do now…punk.”

“This!” he grabs a handful of dildos and slings them at me. I dive behind a bin of vibrators and start to throw ball gags and butt plugs at him. Before you could even say ‘Dildo war in the sex store’ just that has begun. Dulcie and Luna join in from their aisle and toss leather panties, lace thongs, and, oddly enough, checkered boxers onto Fish and I as we pelt each other with every toy we can reach. After ten minutes of unending assaults from both sides Fish reaches around and sends a steel pecker flying towards me. the heavy metal dick slams into my face and chips a tooth.

“That’s it motherfucker! You’re getting it now!” I charge with the Penetrator in one hand and my fist in another fake plot. Fish evades my lunge and escapes out the door and into the night with nothing but some anal beads wrapped around his arm and a riding crop. I give chase and flee the wrecked store to pursue my prey. Lights turn on and ponies shout insults as I run through the streets of Ponyville in the middle of the night while waving a giant dildo and screaming at the top of my lungs. Before long a squadron of guards and a horny old lady, who looks suspiciously like Mayor Mare, are chasing me.

<><><><><>

Back at Plotholes a horribly embarrassed Twilight Sparkle Ryder apologizes to a terrified Shirley Donkey after assuring him/her that the maniacs who trashed his/her shop were gone and that he/she could come out from whatever the fuck pronoun’s hiding place beneath the counter. Princess Luna apologizes to the shell shocked donkey and offers a large sum of bits to pay for the damages to the store. With that and a curt goodbye the two mares and one girl flee the wreckage of the porn shop and head home.

“At least I got some cute panties tonight.” Dulcie tries to look on the Brightside.

“And I got my books.” Twilight holds up a sack of now slightly torn books with her magic and smiles halfheartedly.

“And I got to watch two grown, human men beat each other up with sex toys!” Luna shouts happily. “Oh how jealous Molly will be when she hears!” the giggling princess squees in delight as the three women head to the Ponyville police department where Lafayette and Fish are sure to soon be.

“So how ’bout them Cards?” Dulcie asks her companions as they walk back into downtown Ponyville.

<><><><><>

I wake up the next morning handcuffed to both Fish and a bed in the Ponyville jail. I look at my sleepy friend and he looks at me.

“So how ’bout them Cards?” I ask as we wait for Twilight to come bail us out.

Lafe and Pinkie Pie

Pinkie, happy to see me, hops in the air and hangs there for a second. In that second she whispers something in my ear that forces me to sit back down and cross my legs. Damn Pinkie, who knew you were such a naughty filly.

***

“Sure, that sounds great. But you’re still upset about your friends aren’t you?” I nod. “Remember what I told you earlier?” I nod and her expression turns sultry. “You up for it? My room’s just upstairs.” I look to my left and right, Everypony is preoccupied with the party, no one will notice if I’m gone for a few minutes, or a half hour.

“You got any whiskey?”

“I have a whole liquor cabinet full of Applejack Daniels, is that OK?”

“That’ll work, what the hell lets go.”

Checking once more to ensure that nopony notices my retreat I smile softly and follow Pinkie’s bouncing cotton candy clump of a tail up the stairs, through a hallway and to a messily painted pink door with polka dots and sparkles. Traumatic memories of terrible vampire movies fill my mind as I crouch and walk into the room but I instinctively suppress them when I see what lies in wait for me. Spread-eagled and on her back Pinkie is resting against the foot of her bed with seductive smile on her sweet, pink lips and a full bottle of booze held tightly between her hooves.

“Wanna play with me?” She coos and winks at me and passes over the bottle.

“I’d love too,” I whisper enthusiastically as I kneel down in front of Pinkie, “But I want to be on bottom!” I bring the dark bottle of smooth whisky to my lips and gulp the intoxicating contents away, but before I can empty it Pinkie whisks it out of my hands and finishes it for herself. I laugh heartily and stretch myself out of a brightly colored mat on the floor that, like everything else in this room, is covered in polka dots and glance up at Pinkie. “My body is ready!” I joke.

Pinkie giggles merrily and moves away from the bed; before I know it she’s straddling my lower back, wriggling her plump hips to and fro, and pawing at the sides of my chest. Smiling like an idiot I twist my torso around to face hers and wrap one long arm over and across her slender neck. She arches back violently and snickers like a giddy schoolgirl when I moan beneath her. I adjust and readjust my legs until we’re no longer on top of one another but rather lying sideways atop each other. She gasps shallowly as her hoof grazes my groin and grimace but she doesn’t slow a bit. In no time at all her rump is resting on my chin and her muzzle at my belt. I snort as I laugh and then begin to contort my body until my arms are around her waist and my face is merely an inch from hers. She smiles, embarrassed, as she grinds her hips against mine in an attempt to turn her entire body a hundred and eighty degrees while still keeping a hoof close to my sweaty chest. By now we’re both close to finishing and I can’t keep it up much longer, but to my surprise neither can she. Pinkie grunts and groans as I reposition myself one last time, I wrap one arm around her waist, a leg around her neck, and push mightily to keep up. She gasps in surprise and while trying to reach a back hoof up and over my head collapses into a giggling, giddy pile of pink in my lap. I shout out in victory and relax a bit, slowly untangling my long limbs from my new partner’s comparatively small figure. Pinkie, exhausted and delighted, burrows her head into my heaving chest and sighs.

“That was sooooooooo much fun.” Her voice barely audible over our combined gasps for breath.

“Yeah,” I agree, “we should invite Twi and Dash to join us next time.”

“And Rarity and Applejack,” Pinkie exclaims in a sudden burst of bliss-fueled energy, “and maybe Fluttershy or Big Mac! Or,or,or,orrrrr we could get Princess Celestia to play with us!”

“Naw,” I shake my head, “I don’t picture the ruler of an entire nation as being the kind of pony who likes playing Twister for fun.”

“True,” Pinkie nods, “But maybe we could get her to play Monopony, or Hungry, Hungry Hydras, or how about Dungeons and Dragons!”

“D and D…” I deadpan, “you guys seriously have that here?”

“MmmHmm!” Pinkie assures me.

“Well now I know what I want for my birthday!” I laugh.

Together Pinkie and I get up and head back downstairs.

***

Twenty five minutes after leaving with Pinkie we sneak back downstairs. I look around, perfect, no one noticed our absence. I’m still a bit tipsy from the booze but I’m not drunk enough for it to be obvious. I give my party loving friend a kind nod and return to my other friends to enjoy the rest of the celebration