Just a Shadow

by AnonymousAlicorn

Rating: mature
Tags: Tragedy, Dark, Sad
Length: 662

Hell. I've already been. Sure, there's plenty of words for it, Tartarus, The Underneath, Sanctum of Sinners, but I call it Paradise. All I was ever destined to be is a bad imitation of a shadow. A nightmare. If I never got love, no pony else should.

I don't have much time left, so might as well write down my life story. It all started when I was created in that cursed ball of gas in space, and thrown out like the useless byproduct I was. Mom only ever loved Luna, Sunslut only ever cared about Luna, and I know Mom had seen me a few times, but only ignored me. I just wanted love, nothing more. The thick brambles of the Everfree, the tear of flesh from a Stonewolf's bite, nothing ever came close to the pain I felt from Mom's disapproving gaze

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-21 05:30:26 UTC

Chapter 1

Pain. Suffering and Pain. My first feeling. Heat. Burning. There was magic. Magic to keep the pain away. It wasn't for her though, not at all. She felt it. It was for the black other just ahead of her. Then, she had no idea of what's going on. She just felt pain and suffering. She just wanted out. Her hide was just being eviscerated, and cauterized, just to repeat. However, that all ended in a big flash of light. She was on a field. A large, empty field, with nothing but Mom, a small other not to larger than herself staring at her wide eyed, and the black newborn she was unintentional twin to. She couldn't understand them, but could hear Mom's sad but authoritative tone, addressing the white one. In hindsight, probably telling her to forget I exist. The light was back, and the pain was gone. I was in a dark, scary forest. I heard cries, howls, and other noises from other animals. My only instinct was to crawl into a nearby cave, although I barely saw the entrance under the almost black, dark green foliage. All I did was cry, and I continued to cry, and cry, and cry.

Hours upon hours passed, but eventually, I found myself in a starry, peaceful world, with a fake mom and my Sister. It didn't take long to figure out what their words meant, and I realized they had no Idea I was here.

"Mama? Mama, why?" That was all I could really manage with my limited knowledge of the language, but I seemed to be picking it up much faster than Sister. Startled, Mom's horn began glowing, and sister was gone. She approached, and gave me a hug, but I felt hr tricks. I felt her magic trying to get rid of me. She was trying to find me in the other place. "Mama, NO!" I screamed, but that was all i Knew how to do, other than flail my underdeveloped muscles at her. I felt myself doing something, and before I knew it, Mom was stumbling away with a burn deep through her right torso, looking like it felt like what I felt when I first began to exist. She flaked out of existence, and I was once again, all alone. Except, Sister soon reappeared. She still seemed not no know much at all, struggling to move. Back then, I didn't know enough to hate her, how could I. I might have died if she hadn't had enough magic around her to affect me. She faded out, rather than disintegrating.

I woke to Mom only just approaching, and she had a large patch of scorched leather  and missing fur where she had gotten hit with that beam. Balefire, I decided to call it. I had it ready this time, but I couldn't stop it from fading away, as mom came closer. In fact, whatever made Balefire happen, I couldn't use it at all. It was still hard to move. It seemed I was helpless. I was going to die. Except, all she did was sit in front of me.

"Little one, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried, well, tried fixing-er, removing you from this world." I could only wonder why she did. She made me. It was about then I stopped caring about anyone except Sister. She didn't understand every word, but got the meaning.

"Why, mama? Why did you?"

"You weren't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be. I would have sooner, but I needed to rest."

"Why mama hate me?" That was a sentence I was completely sure of. My future rode on this.

She seemed surprised, but not at the question. More likely by the open weakness in my eyes at that exact moment, right after she had just tried to kill me. And yet, to this day, I still don't understand the answer. Not why, anyway. "I don't hate you, I love you."