Diversion Excursions

by Troublesome Beast

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Fetish, Random, Princess Celestia, Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 9067

A collection of diversions and the occasional short stories linking off from Hunting Season

Not an independent story. This will be here so I can supply details for Hunting Season, or side sex scenes that go too long, without breaking up the main narrative. Listed as complete since each addition will be complete in and of itself. Needless to say a lot of kinks and sex.

Art by Zolumbo, used without permission. Please PM if you want it taken down. Needless to say, Twi's a bit more buff.

Chapter 1: Twilight's Gradients of Sexuality and Challenge: Notes for our Prospective Husband: Twilight makes a short lesson plan and course syllabus for Hopper, and enjoys it. A lot. Includes description of various kinks and sexual acts, and implied enjoyment.

Published 2016-06-21 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-01 05:23:47 UTC

Chapter 1 - Twilight's Gradients of Sexuality and Challenge: Notes for our Prospective Husband

Twilight's Gradients of Sexuality and Challenge: Notes for our Prospective Husband
From: Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Return Address: Friendship Castle
Ponyville
Everfree Province
To: Prospective Husband
Canterlot Castle
Canterlot
Canterlot Province

Dear Prospective Husband,

We're all different, and that's what makes friendship, especially with benefits, great. For the stallion who thinks he's going to claim us and rise to our challenge, though, more knowledge is necessary. A series of challenges will be laid before such a stallion, and it isn't as simple as “Applejack is more of a dom than Dashie, so she should be further back on the to-be-done checklist.” Such a stallion should also have a checklist. Written on and with moisture-resistant material and submitted to me for review.

The point is, while you can more or less line us up from least to most in terms of dominance and rough and tumble most of the time, we each have our own little quirks and triggers that will produce logistical traps and throw scheduled fucking into disarray if care is not taken. I don't know why it isn't important to the rest of my girls, but I assure you, unprofessional or not, I will be quite cranky in the un-fun way if I do not get my scheduled fucking on schedule.

Ahem. Anyway, two gradients are most important for the purposes of beginning your checklist and plans. The first is how dominant each of us is. I'll write down who and what and why in order from least dominant to most dominant, which is me, who you have had already or you wouldn't have this report. Or shouldn't, even if you would enjoy it being shoved where Celestia doesn't let the sun shine. I will give you papercuts if you are spying on me. I mean it.

To begin with, our stroppy, exuberant Rainbow Dash. By now, prospective husband-- oh, fuck it, this is my version of a love note and I'll include personal nouns addressing my audience if I please! By now, Hopper, you should darn well know that for all our proud Dashie will push and persevere and poke to take the lead in her professional and hobby lives, she's quite the eager little pussy in bed. Yes, recently, I have been directing conversations that way for your benefit, and mine as well. She's so cute when she blushes! As are you. Yum.

Dashie is what's known as a pushy bottom, and not just because she's a pretty active participant in anal when she's being penetrated. The “Throne of Awesome” thing isn't just for snuggles; Dashie knows what she wants and is willing to brat, squirm, tease, and otherwise provoke to get it. She's also not willing to take anything less than your best.

Just like she'll yell at you and begin to berate or even physically push you to do more if you slack in exercises, she'll start turning on her dirtiest, raunchiest mouth if she feels you're not doing her hard enough. Since I know that hearing about it gets you even more dom-lusty, I should note that she sometimes will turn the tables on Pinkie or Flutters if they're not meeting her standards, pulling on her rainbow strap-on and doing them as a “demonstration.” If she's too far into subspace, I like to pretend to be getting lazy with her to get a bit of wrestle out of the dear.

That brings us to darling Fluttershy. Projected as a trend, she's really technically more submissive than Dashie. She loves being gently dominated, tied up, cradled in big, buff arms, sometimes even spanked if she's feeling like a “naughty little mare.” Sometimes, she'll even submit to one of our guardsmares or even stallions when we bring them in... mainly, I'll admit, so that the rest of us can “rescue” her and “ravish” her “captors” and I think I'm abusing quote marks again. Too bad, common conventions! I live on the grammatical edge!

However, I can't quite call her less dominant than Dashie. Provoke her just right, with enough tenderness so she knows it's just for fun, and she'll pull out a lesser version of Fluttercruel or the Stare to use on a prospective subbie. Rarity and I can hold out against the lesser Stare, much like I had to learn to hold the whole thing off after that Succubat incident. Sometimes I think that reality intends to punish me for every ill-thought out spell I use perpetually. Then I remember what Flutterbat's tongue is like, and I'm wondering if it's a reward. Anyway. If you want to really view us as a spectrum of sexually belligerent bitches, and I know you do, you need to keep Flutterstare in mind, but I'll get to that in the next gradient.

Next up is kinky Pinkie. To be honest, it sometimes irritates me that Applejack can't be at least 2.5 links (personal unit of kinkiness; I haven't managed to figure out the least embarrassing way to submit it for review with the Standardization Board) more towards the subbie end, because that would push her past Pinkie, and make our kinkiness chart a nice, normal curve!

I like curves. You do too, so don't judge me. I try not to put my friends in that sort of categorical trap, though, except for special occasions.

The point is, Pinkie can be considered either to be precisely in the center of a D/s line, or orthogonal to the whole concept. The only reason I don't go straight with the latter is that she really does enjoy the power exchange for its own rewards; otherwise, Pinkie mostly cares about what makes her partner or partners happy. She's nearly as generous as Rarity in that way, just more demanding of “fun now!” Pinkie will be just as happy to kneel before one of us and go muffin diving one moment, and the next use those freaky Pinkie Princess Powers (yes, she insists on capitalization) to give you her Pillow Surprise (ditto) and smother you with those glorious boobs of hers.

Applejack is next up, and she has a competitive streak a mile wide. Possibly two if she thinks someone is riding close-- and she’ll mean it! Be prepared for a strong, independent, creative streak of stubbornness.. That said, our Element of Honesty isn't so fond of being the best that she'll cheat at a regular contest unless really, truly keyed off. I do not suggest this as a means of provoking a challenge: it isn't fun for her and won't be fun for you. That being said, however, when it comes to kinky lovemaking, and, well, even vanilla lovemaking, Applejack figures that pretty much anything within the bounds of SSC is fine. She'll even stretch on the consensual side, as, alas, I'm afraid all of us get the urge to from time to time, in the sense of coming up with surprises for a lover that haven't been negotiated before.

However, you have to understand that a lot of Applejack's dominant side (that isn't just horniness of both relevant kinds) comes from her home life and socialization. The Ponyville Apples are the trunk of the Apple family tree, their inherited clan maretriarchs and the center of the interwoven corporations. If they'd lost that farm it would have been a disaster much worse than for Ponyville alone. I wish she'd explained before; I think I understand now why one of Starlight’s “bad futures” involved Flim and Flam on top.

Applejack's mother was the last full maretriarch, of course; unfortunately, she and her husband died not long after Apple Bloom was born. Two things popped up after that to put a lot of pressure on Applejack to be the toughest, roughest cowpoke around. The first, and usually the most pressing, is that Applejack never got to the point of maturity when you realize your mom isn't the master and commander of the universe (How's that work with your family and your dad, by the way? Given he both is actually the ultimate leader bar the Creator of Creators, and the actual universe in question... Research paper time!) and was left with the ideal of the perfect farm boss and protector of the clan.

The second is that Big Mac had to step up and take charge of the farm’s daily operations. Granny Smith wasn't doing well, and Mac was already a giant among hyper ponies, as well as an excellent mathematician. Now, the Apples aren't like a lot of traditionalist clans. Having a male make an important decision, if it's the “right one” (approved of by the mares), or taking on roles of leadership and responsibilities, isn't anathema to them; witness Granny Smith's father making the proposal and leading the move to Ponyville.

The assumption, though, is that there's always some wise, strong female presence in the background, making sure that herd and clan are taken care of and the male's dreams don't get out of hand. Going back to our example, it was Granny that figured out the zap apples and zap apple jam, and it was her mother that organized and maintained the logistics for the family move and settlement. Between that expectation, and to be blunt, a couple of so-called neotraditionalist plotholes that I feel decidedly un-Harmonic towards... ahem.

Applejack grew up fast and took over quickly. Big Mac had been expecting it, and worked with Granny to help her into the role, so she's never felt like her immediate family was doubting her. She spent a lot of time doubting herself, though, and having to nip and shove away “helpful” aunts and cousins trying to force their snouts into Sweet Apple Acres business.

This translates pretty broadly into her personal life, both normal socialization and sexual as well. A lot of her need to feel in charge all the time is because that's the person she's built herself up to be. It's not bad; she has a healthy self image, and as a group, we Elements have helped her to feel more comfortable and less desperate to live up to it.

Out of that, though, there is a sweet, vulnerable side to my pretty Apple amazon as well. Deep inside, there is a part of Applejack that wants someone else to take the reins (note that this is sometimes quite literal for her and me both, hint hint). To be pinned down and relieved of command, or to be forced to get all “gussied up” and treated like a delicate little flower.

From what she's told me, Applejack used to spend quite a lot of time wistfully watching some of our modern non-hyper ponies; you know, the ones who've been able to merge the elegant style of our past fashion hierarchies with the ability to just let your mane down and let a more old-fashioned mare or slightly primitive-progressive stallion take charge. Long dresses and sweeping gowns become not a sign of “look how badass I am, I can kick your plot wearing my body weight in fabric” but “look how relaxed I am, I am calm and content and have no need to kick your plot.”

We take care of that, we Elements. Now she spends her wistful time squealing over my fist while pinned in my lap, or magic bound into corsets and froufrou dresses by Rarity for “Black Tie Down Dinners” if Rarity wins their little contests. Since you want to do that too, just remember: the dominant side is, well, dominant. Of course, you like that, I'm just saying, you'll have to work for it.

Finally, my lovely, pushy, formal, and fun Rarity. If Applejack brings to mind Disneigh's “Be Prepared,” Rarity should bring it to mind as a semi-soundtrack, save that there isn't a truly villainous bone in her body. In many ways, she's a mirror of Dashie; while she might once have desired a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet, and kept to the fashionable dignity of modern ladies, there's something stronger, much more passionate under the surface.

I can't call it neotraditionalism. For one thing, of all of us, Rarity is the absolute strictest about consent and protocol for kink play. The idea of just simply breaking a non-hyper stallion, or conspiring to pin a hyper between her and, say, one of us prior to our mutual ascensions would never have occurred to her. Instead, Rarity has always woven a cloak of mystery and enticement to bring someone around to her line of thinking, or of lust, as the case may be.

Given that, and the fact that her constant challenging and jockeying is, to her, more about what's appropriate for our current status and closeness, I suppose that what Rarity really is, is a true traditionalist. Especially given the results of her easy gainer secondary talent, I think that she'd have stood tall as a warrior-countess at Princess Platinum's side in the last Tribal Wars. Platinum nothing, she'd have impressed Adamant!

Formality is what Rarity craves. Formality in more than just the sense of politeness, but in sense of “the forms must be obeyed!” When the time comes to bring out her submissive side, you do it by heading straight at her dominance. I don't just mean challenging her to a submission match. That will do for Applejack, and quite well, I might add. For Rarity, though, you're going to have to earn the right to challenge her like the Coltic stallions of old. You know, given how much Celestia's pushed for stallion rights, and how much she loves tough soldier stallions as much as her mares... I wonder how much she was influenced by the Coltics? Research paper #2!

Ahem again. Anyway. That's what Rarity lusts for. It's why, despite the other girls' whining, I feel the most comfortable with permitting her displays of submission in public; they're controlled and rigidly set, carefully structured in what she sees as the proper relation between herself and me.

I like controlled, rigid structure in my bed life. As you will see, since I'm your edge as much the Astral Princesses' agent.

Which brings us to “a hard mare is good to beat,” to paraphrase the old saying. I have to tell you that if you just follow that gradient and go Dashie to Rarity, you may trip along the way. I don't get a veto in this; just like you don't get to disobey my orders in the field just because I'm surrendering to you in the bedroom, I don't get to nix your choice of seduction plans. I'm not the senior wife, and won't be, unless you fuck up in the middle.

Don't you dare fuck up in the middle. I want more time between Celestia's thighs, darn it! But no pressure.

Our gradient here is one of learning and growth. Not necessarily easy to hard for conquest, Hopper, stop blushing. But who will help you grow as a stallion of the heart and a good dominant of the bed.

I mean, seriously, if you wanted to right now, Pinkie would give you everything you asked for. Your wildest fucking dreams “cum” true, as much as you wanted... while you had her in your arms. Then she'd slip away, laughing, to her next party. Trust me from sad experience, if you asked her to go steady, let alone marry you, you'd just get a hug, a quick fuck, and she'd slip away between climaxes.

So I'll get to her in proper order. You get to start with me, of course. Yeah, yeah. I'm the bitchiest, buffest, baddest, toughest Element around. My magic can crack mountains now, the Astrals are grooming me to take over half the stars from Luna, and my will is unbreakable. But that's the thing, Hopper: growing up and mentoring you and Starlight Glimmer, I became a mature mare knowing two things: I wanted Starlight Glimmer to be my right hand mare that I wasn't fucking, a non-alicorn to help me never lose touch with the world I've risen above, and I wanted to bend over for you.

You think you've had dreams you found hard to share? Buddy, the first time Princess Luna let me challenge her in a submission match NOT involving my sex magic lessons, gloriously allowing me the privilege to do my best and end up worshiping her pussy was after a particularly long string of dreams involving what you'd do to me if you picked me for the Bargain. You were too young, and Celestia decided to roll the dice for all of us, and I needed a good dom so bad.

Okay, our first play ended in top drop. I gotta tell you, baby, right up until you started thinking you'd hurt me and pulled a near-Smarty Pants on me, that was some of the sexiest play I've had outside of Celestia's bedroom. I want that, and I want you. I want the stallion who understands why I'm still a little shy, because he is too. I want the gentle, good friend whose heart is open and willing to risk disappointment and treachery to make sure that everyone, even our enemies, has a chance to be happy if they'll just open up too. And I want you to fucking fuck my face like an apple tree that's had superglue applied to the branches!

So. I'm going to be your first, and I'm going to help you over the rough edges here. Celestia was very thorough in helping me recover and explaining just how I was to help you avoid top drop in the future. And I promise you, for all I want that gentleness from you and kinkiness down to me, you will learn how to turn even tough fucks like Rarity into squealing, squirming subbies.

Because here's the final joke: if it wasn't you, I'd be the toughest of all. Celestia and Luna refuse to explain why, but my ascension wasn't just earlier than the other Elements, it was different. Not just the power of Friendship is Magic is Broadly Fucking Applicable transitive boost, no. It's changed me.

Not in my heart, thank the Rainbow of Light. I still love my friends, and the foundations of Harmony are still my guide. But I lust so much, Hopper. I am so horny all the time. And my friends, my dear friends, I love them, but I want them and I want them beneath my heel. I want them so much, and my pussy drenches as much at the thought of twining legs and sexes together with one of them as it does having them all kneeling before me, licking feet and muscles and sex.

As for stallions and outside mares? Well, before I was pretty strict with them. One of Bulk’s less reputable friends caught my eye once, and was foolish enough to accept a challenge in the ring with me. Thankfully, the colt in stallion’s clothing hadn’t been indulging in performance enhancers, or I’d have added penis humiliation to pinning him down and making him pleasure me until he could barely move.

With those who came to me with appropriate humility, I ensnared them in spells and ropes and touches. I love having complete control over a subbie. To restrict their senses to me, and what I do them. Other than my dreams of you, and what Celestia and Luna do to me, nothing turns me on like having a well-trained submissive wailing in pleasure, her entire world bound up in my command.

And now? Heh. If they knew I was writing this, my girls would probably thank you. I’ve been really, really pushing since I found out you had wet dreams of ruling a ruler, baby. Don’t be ashamed of those. They’ve been so inspiring, and I have so many gifts to give you… Wow, ahem some more!

As for outsiders, again, once I fixated on you, I gave Flash Sentry the ride of his life, and Flare Warden was such a pretty look for her afterwards. I put Spitfire through her paces before giving her to Rainbow Dash. Oddly enough, Flare-Flash and Spitfire seem pretty happy together now.

Yeah, I know, that turns you on. Feel free to pause and play with that ridiculously oversized handsome hunk of stallion meat while thinking about “capturing” me after doing something like that; I know I hoofed it when writing about our first little romp through power exchange. Good. I want it to turn you on.

But my point is, ever since I've become an alicorn, I've had this weird sense of hierarchy and need like I never have before. I don't feel like pushing Luna, let alone Celestia, and I only feel like teasing you. When Rarity gets up on me when I'm trying to read? Bam, new hard-marshmallow seat for the Princess of Friendship (Just so you know, I've found a slow, easy muff dive helps me relax and study. I can't wait to see what lengthened blowjob will do to you. FOR SCIENCE, Hopper! For Science!). I have all the burning need the others do, just not turned at you. It's turned for you. If you let me, I will teach you how to tame my beloved bitches, and offer you up to my teacher and first love as a champion in the sack or ring alike.

I don't recommend you start with Rainbow, for all she'll want to be first. Start with Flutters. She's a demanding little sweetie anyway. The trick with Shy is to take it slow the first time. She'll kneel easily enough, but if she's uncomfortable when doing it, it won't really mean the same thing. You won't get her to name a challenge that way, and for whatever reason, that's how Celestia wants it.

Start nice and vanilla. Luna's going to be teaching you sex along with sex magic, and I will want nice missionary-we-see-each-other's faces, playful horsey style, all that jazz. Fluttershy, bless her beautiful soul, just doesn't seem to become “experienced.” I was awkward at first but it's just become a part of my friendship and life; to be celebrated and enjoyed, but comfortable, mostly. For Flutters? Each day she's a virgin but blessed with a warmistress' lust and skills beneath it. That's something special; treasure it and use it.

Make love to her in the classic sense-- I have some reference material I think you should look at to supplement the training we will give you-- and rev her up. You're quite right to start by getting nice and personal with your tongue and her sex, but she'll be shy first; the name is not a coincidence. Rub her. Massage her, you have great hands. Especially on her ass, and breasts of course, but especially her ass. She loves having that petted; she says it makes her feel like the best kind of naughty filly.

Anyway. Rub her and seduce her and make her feel all the love you have for her. When she's raring and ready, when she's cum a few times and worked her cunt around that dick of yours-- when she's growling at you for more, then you demand a challenge from her. Harmony knows what it'll be, but she will want you-- she honestly already does, but this will get her past her shyness.

So we come to Fluttercruel McStaringPants. She's going to turn that on you. You know she's better with will to will manipulation than you are, Hopper; don't play her game. You have a beautiful adamant core, an inner “you” that no one can stop. Let her break on that. Let her try the Stare, give her that smirk that makes me want to punch you (you know the one!), and then take a sniff – when it fails, nasty miss Fluttercruel will get really, really wet. Let her shout and rave and call you dirty names, and then fuck her good, baby. Do that, and you'll have all of Fluttershy, both her adorable Kind heart, and the wild hot animal she only pulls out for the best fucks and defending the righteous.

Dashie's next. Take your time with Shy, sure, and concentrate on the wings-- she and Dashie are both the most focused on the wings of all of us, despite our mutual alicornhood. Once you know how to treat a former pegasus, it's time for Dashie. Oh! That's another note. Although Dashie and Applejack will both start getting pushy and impatient, take your time with each new bitch in your bed. Not just me, though I intend to be pretty possessive of you for a few weeks, but Shy, Dashie, all of us. It'll reinforce the love, make sure each of us knows you don't think of us as just another mark on the list (since that's honestly just my kink), and let you get stable with your new skills and sexiness.

Anyway, Dashie will have been pushing you to “get it in gear” and probably irking me and Flutters enough to end with our femmecum all over her face several times a day, what with badgering us and teasing you. Don't let it get to you. Bedroom orientation aside, Dashie is a warrior princess. Celestia and Luna both have remarked at how much she's always been like a male Hurricane; I think Luna especially wishes he'd have made it to the horn and earth-strength. I think she might have “tamed a Hurricane” once or twice, if you know what I mean, and I'm sure you do.

Hot historical dramafucks aside, Dashie respects willpower and strength. Bodystrength is nice, but Dashie wants to know that any lovers of hers won't be too wild in a fight, or disrupt the nest too much. Cossetting Shy is one thing, but someone who can't control themselves won't get her respect.

Dashie adores being between Rarity's thighs, don't let her grousing fool you. We didn't force her to start pushing on her magic and learning to sew; our pretty little Princess of Loyalty gave some major head until we agreed to teach her, because she wanted to be more a part of Rarity's world, and mine. Rarity keeps her cool with Dashie, and Dashie's loyalty is all the stronger for it.

So in some ways, your time with Flutters or whomever you pick before Dashie, if you do, will be part of seducing Dashie. Unlike Flutters, you won't need to tweak Dashie up to get a challenge out of her. If you've shown her you're good to Shy and tough enough to take a few verbal hits, she'll be ready. You should be ready too, because she'll ask for it to be somewhere in the wilderness under open sky, I'm sure; she'll want plenty of room. It will be a wild, violent fuck, and she will test every Element of your physicality before she'll consider surrendering to your sexuality.

It's lots of fun; pity the logistics are a hay and a half.

So that's Dashie. You should also be ready for the fact that Dashie is incredibly lifestyle. I like relaxing despite what my ovaries are telling me, Rarity carefully divides her life with very, very precise stitching to connect parts, Pinkie and Applejack each have their own reasons for separating the kink out, but Dashie, even more than Flutters, does not believe in vanilla sex, let alone vanilla interactions. Once she's accepted you as top and stallion, be ready to be alternatively teased and tended to, to have wildly athletic sex, competitive even, and to get “ambush preening.” She is absolutely convinced that none of us other than Shy can preen properly.

I “ain't” complaining, as Applejack would say.

But before we get to any of the others, a note: this will be around the time that Luna decides whether or not you graduate from apprentice to journeymare, or journeystallion, I guess? Journeycolt? Precise words are important. Graduate, anyway.

Don't fuck this up. See notes above. In terms of pleasing Luna, well-- that's another reason to start with Dashie and Flutters. See, Luna waxes and wanes. Sometimes, she'll be at the same tempo for a while, but other times, she'll flip all over emotionally during sex and play, and I suspect she'll indulge that side of her personality when testing you as a lover and a partner. I don't have the best information to add here; she's fucked me vanilla and kinky more than Celestia has even including Celestia initiating and training me, but it's still pretty rare.

What you'll need is flexibility, which hopefully we'll have given you, but above all this: be ready for vulnerability from our lofty Warmistress. I know it sounds crazy-- the Lunar Fist, the Wrath of Equestria, The Warlady's Nightmare (she doesn't like that one, as an IMPORTANT hint, these days), feeling vulnerable? It's true though. Won't be at first unless you have some breakthrough in your teaching. But remember that she still feels more like a retired monster than a redeemed hero. Underneath, Luna watches herself even more harshly than she does our enemies.

Give her reassurance. Give her yourself, trading strength for strength with her, letting her know you feel doubt as well-- hay, if you still feel any of your virgin dom-a-dom guilt at this point, you might as well spend it as coin to buy Luna's trust. Because that is what will earn her partnership.

So, presuming I'm not currently cutting you off from sex because Celestia is saying that we Elements have to be just fuckbuddies, and there is a difference, mister, don't you forget it, you'll have three and a half notches in your belt. Mm. Belts. Squirmy schoolgirl or delinquent library patron... um, do you think you could get nonprescription glasses?

Where was I? Right, claiming cunt number four for our herd. Despite the fact that Rarity is much more dommie than Applejack, I'd actually recommend... well, it gets complicated. See, of my pretty pets, they're the most competitive. And while you won't need to fend off either the way you might have Dashie-- speaking of, you have a lot to live up to, buster. At this point, four mares, going on eight, so despite what I'm telling you here, you had better remember we all get sack time, even if we'll be getting it off each other, too.

Maybe that's why Celestia and Luna have you pegged as troubleshooter and generic Champion, not co-consorts like we Elements. Yeah, I know, you prefer to help others, fine. But you know, even if we'll still mostly be getting each other off, we're going to want a lot of your time. Eight mares, stud. Can't even do one per day of the week, not that we'd let you monopolize one of our wives' time like that, either.

Hey, I know! We'll get schedule blocks, work around our different sleep cycles and work requirements... oh, sweet Harmony I... we can have time rewards for winning contests... for betting... rewarding subs... we can use it to establish our own intra-marem economy.

Sorry about the ink smudges there, Hopper. You can sniff the fingerprint I left on the margins if you want proof, but you know I totally just came. I am going to schedule ALL the fucking! With flex time and SOUND ECONOMIC FOUNDATIONS! Grr, if Celestia didn't say I had to write this to you and give you some time, I would take you into my calendar and clipboard storeroom and do you right now! IT IS PENCILED IN FOR LATER.

Ahem whoa more there. I did tell you I was getting horny and YES I will want you to spank me with a clipboard. Sorry, got a bit distracted. Summary: you had best remember my time management lessons, colt.

Right, so, Applejack and Rarity will pretty much both want to vanilla fuck you after Luna lets you have free time with your hips back. They'll both have some awkwardness with the submitting part, despite Applejack's kind words after frigging her gorgeous cunt off for us last night. They'll need the challenge almost as much as Luna does and more, even, than Dashie will have had by this point; it's the only way they'll feel comfortable with worshiping your dick and not just really appreciating it.

If you give Applejack a good reason – don't mention my name, remember, I'm a secret agent here! – and are mostly honest, she'll agree to wait. Here's the reason: Rarity will teach you more about formal dominance. Yes, Luna will fight you hoof and horn when the time comes. But remember, when you top her, it won't just be about the challenge, like with us. It will be to show her that you have learned enough to satisfy her.

Rarity is our endless font of kinky inspiration. Sometimes, when I've pinned her arms under her belly and am fisting that pretty pink pussy of hers, I'll ask her what she'd have done if she'd won the bout in our ring, just to get good ideas! And when I make her top Flutters for me, while Dashie's eating me out? I've noticed she starts to flag her tail like an eager filly when she's doing something she wants me to try on her.

Point is, your next Big Fucking Test after your next Element will be one of the most important ones: getting Luna into subspace and keeping her happy there. Rarity, even more than me, is your key into that honey pot, Hopper, but you'll need the experience from me, Flutters, and Dashie first.

So what shall we make for our Rarity fair’s flair? You’ve got two choices here. You can play up the Knight and Warlady deal, or you can do the Coltic path with me. For the former, basically, you’ll walk right up to her during one of our Friendship With Benefits downtime meetings, and request that she set terms for for the rights to meet her in the challenge ring. She’ll sniff, ask if you’ll bargain your ass in the deal, etc. Yeah, I know, you like those dreams where someone thinks they can take you and you flip them over and give ‘em a good, hard fucking is magic lesson in the bum. Also penciled in for later.

Presuming you take her up on it, she’ll come up with three wacky, but almost certainly within your realm of capability, challenges. I’m sure… mostly sure.. that she didn’t just give her permission for Celestia’s plan to go along with the rest of us. And I’m reasonably certain she didn’t do it to try to trick you into “trying out” subbie for her; that’s not usually her way. Nonetheless, I don’t recommend you do this.

Instead, come to me. I am her queen of the bedroom, her prime dominant until she’s handed off to you, and that’s kind of the point. I think it’ll thrill her down to her adorable little toesies to be treated as an asset to be handed off, and a prize to be won. She is a kinky, kinky, little pony after all. I didn’t make that “new seat” comment just to turn you or, or just because I like having a mare trapped under my butt. Rarity, when she’s not domming, likes being objectified. Sometimes, I’ve literally put her on a pedestal and forced her to pose as a nude living statue while I fucked another of my girls while telling her that I’m going to do “worse” to her.

Back from thinking about that baby? I took a break to think about you doing it to me. You understand that when you’re done with this, I’m going to quiz you, and whether you get my a quick hand job, to fuck my pussy, or ravish my ass will depend on your combination of speed in reading and score on the quiz. Study hard, dear… I promise I won’t count any time I needed to polish my button against you spanking your human, though.

Back to Rarity. I’ll set the tests, and they will be tests. Rarity is an amazing, generous friend even more than a wonderful lover, and she deserves to feel epic about this. I’ll finally get to really help you with more than advice, stud. Just think of it… she might not even realize that we’re seducing her. Together. We’ll talk about what the tests are when we get closer. Mmm, lesson planning. Heh, Rarity manages to get me going a lot; another reason to make things good for her.

The second to last step in either Rarity Ravishing Route will be the ring. The bout, as with Dashie, will be quite real. Hopper, you’re already stronger than Applejack and I, but please, please keep up your fighting training with Dashie and myself. Rarity has become quite the battlemare these days and she will throw everything she has at you in the challenge ring, within our limits to prevent serious harm or death. She has to; she won’t be able to give herself to you without that.

Even then, even after she kneels and bends her neck for your collar on her throat (make it pretty, colt, and different varieties for each of us; do not come between a mare and her accessories) you won’t be done. Think this exhausting? Only because you haven’t been given Luna’s final exam.

The last step is how you make love to her, how you top her, that final night. She’ll have had vanilla before, probably insist on it during the time when you’re performing the tests for her or me. Take everything from that which isn’t the romantic core and loving soul, the eternal friendship between you, and throw it the fuck away. If she’s going to accept you her mistress, well, master, I guess, though that produces giggleworthy images of you as a kept stallion, she will want to have a night to remember every time her clitty gives her a “SATIATE ME, PONY!” throb.

I didn’t; it took me several nights over the last few years to realize that she was looking for that. She hasn’t lost her dream to be swept off her feet; it’s just she’d like it to involve suspension play, not just a bridal carry. This is my gift to you both, for her heart and for yours. By this point, I think we’ll have fucked the top drop out of you, but if you want to practice, I will jump on that Holy Hoofgrenade for you, and, yes, darn it, for my Rarity, too.

Seriously, I think it will be necessary. Dear Rarity has been hurt in the past; Prince Blueballs was just the last straw that got her to snap in public. She refuses to name names, just because Applejack and I might have somewhat JOKINGLY suggested leaving off the Safe and the Consensual from SSC… and maybe the Sane, too. It was a joke! You know, to relieve tension.

The point is, the harm in question included some wounds deep enough in her self-esteem that she has sometimes thought of herself as a very bad pony. That’s given her internal permission to both “be bad” and to denigrate her own acts of Generosity. We Elements have gotten her past that, or she wouldn’t have made it to the crowning, but there’s still something left you’ll need to tend to during that betrothal night; see Luna.

Which is the other reason it should probably literally be from sundown (passing from my hands to yours again, see? Symbols!) to sunup. Luna will not want to wait. At all. I suggest sleeping the whole day cuddling with Rarity; she’ll understand.

If I couldn’t be much help in describing pleasuring Luna, I’ve got stone cold nothing for you in topping her, and she is the one who’s had the most doubts about this all. Your challenge will be in the ring again, and again, she will fight you full bore. Celestia tells me she’s agreed to let you use magic (and unlight, I guess?) but won’t use it herself; she will, however, hold nothing back of flight and force.

Once that’s done… read the signs from her. Consider this a study project (Research Paper #3, sort of!) while you’re fucking my bouncing buff bitches; watch how each of my girls shows you what I’ve been telling you here. Hay, do your best to record where I’m wrong, I’m just one mare and these are some exhaustingly demanding subbies! Figuring that out will help you to learn how to read what Luna wants. I can’t even tell you something like “pure wrasslin’” or something, because she’s done some delightful rope play, and simply commanding me with The Other Royal Canterlot Voice has been quite fun as well.

She’s going to want you all. Night. Long. At which point, Rarity and I will probably need to give you some Nap Stack enchantments for a month or two. Luna’s going to be busy a lot of the time, but she’ll want her betrothal weeks, which Rarity deserves too. The rest of us are going to still want to go for shadow rabbit rides, get our kinks kicked, and Applejack is not going to give up licking your vanilla once she has it, especially if she has to wait to be next.

I’m saying you aren’t going to be sleeping much, and it will be a good thing Celestia has decided that your troubleshooting job will be on official vacation until after the wedding and honeymoon, barring emergencies, but I’m sure with you supercharging our Friendship With Benefits Magic, there won’t be any problems we can’t handle to throw my carefully laid plans off! Nothing can stop me from getting laid more often now!

Mare oh mare, where did that cackle and lightning bolt come from? If Dashie is pranking me, I’m going to tie her up and not spank her.

So, yeah, good fucking luck, boy. I know you’ll be able to do her.

And now for Applejack. I’m not putting her here because she’ll be harder than Rarity. Like I said when assessing her dominance, she’s going to be a hard case. Frankly, I suspect that an actual “goin’ a courtin’” and meeting her family are going to be important. Like I said, most of the family is pretty modern if maretriarchal leaning, and Applejack’s had a stern hand on the neotraditionalists since she came into her own after harmonizing with her Element, all the more so after getting her wings and horn. Better yet, you’ll have exactly the role that both the progressives and the neotraditionalist maretriarchs think you have: our thug. Insert picture of me licking my lips here.

The Apples as a body, of course, will read that as “strong companion and enforcer of the maretriarch’s will.” They won’t even challenge the fact that we would, shock and horror, listen to your opinion on things other than fucking and being cannon fodder; even the worst Apple neotraditionalist doesn’t think of males as muscles with occasionally too much brains the way the old nomadic clans did.

The neotraditionalists may still be sulking from Applejack’s spankings, but they will basically think of you as candy for the eye and pussy and move on. Just ignore them and whisper sweet nothings in Applejack’s ear about what you’d like to do to her in private right then and there. Be kind to her family, and to their faults a little blind.

Family is what will win you her heart. We’ve already let you into ours, as she said eloquently, and you’ve met some Apples on various missions with and for her. But before you challenge her, she will want to know that you fit with her kin, that you love them parallel to how you love her. That will make her feel safe when she loses, and after she’s seen how you’ve done the rest of us, she’ll want to lose. Don’t make her feel conflicted about it, and she’ll just give you the work out of your life before flagging her tail for you.

Which is the real reason why I have her in the number five slot. Work outs. We’ll be riding you pretty hard at this point, as a sort of pre-wedding honeymoon, since Celestia’s ruled that whenever the honeymoon’s over, we’ll need to let you come up for air and not just spend your time sexing up and/or topping down whoever isn’t on call at the moment. Pity.

By this time, I won’t be your senior wife-to-be any more, so some of this may be unnecessary. I know Applejack and Pinkie Pie better than Luna does, so I feel my advice will still hold true, Thankfully, though, Luna will almost certainly be aggressively taking over teaching you not just sex, since she’ll have moved on to kinky rituals and fun both, but your exercise program. And thank Harmony, she’ll have a sexual exercise program for you during the seduction and post-conquest of Applejack that I’m sure Applejack will thank her for, and you’d better.

Luna will want you fit, too, to please her sister. More importantly, to pleasure her sister. I’ve had vanilla sex with Celestia. I can even remember it, through a somewhat blissful haze of supernal ecstasy. Let’s just say I’ve never forgotten a lesson there. But I’ve never made love to her as a true, full partner. I know she’s hinted that she expects that of me when I become an Astral, or after whatever causes them to acknowledge me as an Astral, or after my Astral entrance exam, or something, and the thought both turns me on and terrifies me.

You know what her presence is like, let alone her beauty. She is Beauty; it literally radiates through her form and aura as a part of her solar dominion. She is the strongest of us, the preternaturally mightiest of us, and though these days she usually hides it to prevent overwhelming her little ponies, she is the lustiest of us. And you won’t be able to let her take the lead, Hopper; even though this won’t be kinky sex, she will be testing you to see if you can handle being her husband.

I know I was pretty pushy up above about not fucking things up. And I probably didn’t help there, with that little drool of a paragraph. But the thing to remember is this: everything you’re doing… learning… growing into, is a part of her plan. Is a part of what she wants. She wants you, Hopper. It’s a heady feeling enough where I stand, knowing she wants me to join her select circle with Luna, but she wants you to succeed.

More, she loves you. It’s the love of December for May, but not for a Mayfly. You’re a promise to her. I guess my advice is this: let yourself be loved by her, wanted by her, and she will let you love her. If you show that you have the courage and balls to be an equal partner in the bed, and she won’t shove you around like Luna will; she’ll pull you up to her level. That will be your gift to me, dear stallion; for she’s said that she’ll speed things up with me if I give you properly to her.

You have my utter faith and support in seducing the sun. When, and we must always say when, not if, you have graced the Celestial bed and come back unburnt and glowing, it will be time for your absolute trial, kinky Pinkie Pie. And here’s where you, and I, and Luna will all need to work together.

See, I haven’t been able to really make Pinkie mine. Oh, she’s one of my girls. I top her, she doesn’t top me. But she’s also not just mine. Of all of the Elements, she is most likely to sub for (or top) someone outside of our group without us being involved to dom her top. Of all of us, she hasn’t slowly contracted into a sex life that mostly involves each other.

Speaking of which, at some point you’re going to need to discuss with Celestia whether or not you two want to permit us to take submissive or vanilla lovers outside the marriage. Celestia’s decreed that once we’re your bottoms and hers, we will only be permitted to kneel before other members of the marriage (means you’ll have a lot to make up for with Pinkie and to a lesser extent Flutters), and I know that for some reason she doesn’t want us taking even vanilla lovers outside of those bonds.

I think you’re not the only one in this to-be herd that likes dominating dominants, though. Celestia has declared that the husband and the senior wife will determine what constitutes fidelity once the final marriage party is assembled, and the rest of us WILL follow suit. The other Elements and of course Luna are all aware of this.

Anyway; Pinkie loves us, we can’t help but see that, but she spreads her joy around to everyone. To put it another way, as a whole, we Elements have left our marks on each other, but even becoming an alicorn hasn’t let us all the way in touch the real Pinkie. We just see her through thinner and thinner windows.

You’re going to be our door opener, Hopper. You’re going to seduce Pinkie. Not just by offering all of us for enough sex to make her feel satisfied, because it’s not about satisfaction. We’re going to have to work together, you and Luna and I, to make sure that she comes to two conclusions: first, that she can let us into her emotional self completely, and that she won’t be betraying her Element if she takes vows that, outside ‘play’ permitted or not, mean that we have first call on her Laughter and joy. She takes all promises very seriously, not just Pinkie Promises.

That was a bit heavy, wasn’t it. I’m afraid I’m going to mostly chicken out on trying to describe the final step. I have problems even writing the phrase… even connecting Celestia and submissive in a descriptive sense that isn’t Celestia’s submissive. If her non-kinky lovemaking is overwhelming, the headspace she puts me into on those rare scene occasions, oh, Hopper, I want to tell you all about how she comforted me, but I don’t think I can do it if I’m not getting you off at the same time. I really don’t.

She isn’t cruel to those who haven’t put themselves beyond her light. I don’t know whether or not she arranged for the Prince Black and Blue Balls incident, but for her to put back on the mantle of Champion of the Ring and to treat him like one of those testosterone-induced so-called Warlords, and the mares who dared to challenge her title of Warlady and Warmistress in Luna’s absence took a long build up of incidents that made her truly regret even the distant relation between them. So while I know she intends to make things a challenge, I don’t think you have to worry about facing the wrath of an angry Astral Alicorn.

It won’t be like Luna. There will be the challenge ring, I’m sure, but that will just be part of it. Maybe she’ll require legendary deeds from you. Maybe she’ll require some incredibly complicated sex ritual for you. Maybe that’s why she wants Luna teaching you, so you enter into it knowledgeable but not new. What I do know is this: she will make sure it is something that you can do, if you have done your best with the rest of us, and it will be something that completes your training before she takes your collar around her throat.

I love you, Hopper. This was supposed to be an objective report, and I have literally wanked over it. I don’t know if I can be objective with you any more, but I will always do my best to teach you, to support you, and to bone you so hard you’ll feel like your horn is about to pop off your head.

With still yet further love,

Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic
Regent of Ponyville Province and Matters Arcane
Friendship Castle

P.S.: The scroll’s told me you’ve finished reading and haven’t skimmed any lines. Congratulations. Quiz time, hunk.

Author's Note

es, Twilight is lying a little bit in here about how hard convincing some of the Elements will be, or how hard it will be to get them to go along with things; as the reader knows, they’re all willing participants. However, Celestia’s ritual calls for Hopper to not be certain of that, so he gives every effort, and more importantly to all of the mares involved want to feel wooed here. Protip to all partners: there isn’t a point in a romantic relationship where your partner doesn’t want to feel like you’re putting in an effort, and the more that you do, the more they’ll enjoy it, with the obvious side benefits.

Twilight also doesn’t mention Barb. I do intend to have Barb be a member of the herd, or I’d have just had Spike fall for Sweetie Bell or something, not R63. Twilight doesn’t know that, though; as insightful as she’s become when she has reason to pay attention, as per this report, she still has some cluelessness in other aspects of her life. But I do have plans for that, yes I do.

Speaking of plans, this isn’t just an episode summary. Among other things, I’m not going to rush between challenges and claiming; I do have an actual plot, and not just the one I’m sitting on. Furthermore, while Hopper is smart enough to accept Twilight’s advice and the Elements are actively conspiring with Twilight to get the hottest domming possible, that doesn’t mean he won’t go off the reservation, occasionally, and of course, I am going to keep up with Luna’s instructions in sex magic. Poor boy, er, colt, er stallion; other than nights when she’s concentrating on just skill, she’ll be starting with more tantric, i.e., storing magic by not getting off, just like the After Party.

Chapter 2 - Excerpt From A Letter To Princesses Luna and Celestia

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.