Once upon a warm summer day, in the magical land of Equestria. Rarity and her friends Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were all enjoying a nice peaceful afternoon enjoying Pinkie’s latest muffin recipes. That is until the store doors slammed open, and a very disgruntled white unicorn filly stormed in.
“RARITY!!! YOU CHEATING, COW FUCKING, BACKSTABBING LITTLE COCK SUCKER!!!!!” The young filly screamed, causing all six jaws to drop to the floor.
“SWEETIE BELLE, LANGUAGE!!” Rarity scolded “Honestly I don’t know where you learned such uncouth words but….”
“BITCH, YOU KNOW I LEARNED THEM FROM YOU AND EVERY TOM, DICK, AND HARRY YOU BRING HOME EVERY NIGHT!!!” Sweetie Belle screamed back at her.
“Heh, heh, heh, I honestly have no idea what you are talking about darling….” Rarity stammered nervously, as five sets of eyes turned to stare at her with shocked expressions.
“LIKE HELL YOU DON’T!” Sweetie Belle shot back. “HELL YOU WERE FUCKING MR CAKE LAST NIGHT, AND THE NIGHT BEFORE THAT IT WAS BIG MACINTOSH, AND BEFORE THAT SHINNNING ARMOR!!!” There was an awkward pause as half the store including Mrs. Cake turned to stare at Mr. Cake who chuckled nervously before fleeing for his life.
“OK THAT’S ENOUGH SWEETIE BELLE” Rarity shouted in turn, hoping to defuse the situation before her one night stands became front page news on every paper in Equestria. “Let’s go back home and maybe we can discuss what’s bothering you in a CALM manner?” Rarity wrapped a fore hoof around Sweetie Belle and started to lead her out of the store.
Sweetie Belle slapped Rarity’s hoof away angrily. “YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT’S WRONG!!” She shrieked, giving the older unicorn a look clearing wishing her a most painful death. “Spike and I were supposed to go to the movies last night, and he never showed. And do you know why? BECAUSE HE WAS APPARENTLY SUDDENLY BUSY GETTING A BLOW JOB FROM YOU FOR ONE HUNDRED BITS!!!!!
“Wait, WHAT!!!!?” Twilight shrieked, covering her mouth with her hooves.
“Twilight darling I swear to you, I have no idea what Sweetie is talking about!” Rarity stammered, giving Twilight what she hoped as an honest face.
“BULL SHIT!!!” Sweetie screamed stamping a hoof on the floor in irritation. “I JUST HAD TO LISTEN TO FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES OF SPIKE AND FILTHY RICH DISCUSSING HOW MUCH OF AN AMAZING SEX MACHINE YOU ARE!!!” By now everypony in the shop was staring at them, and too Rarity’s horror some of them had cameras and seemed to be taking notes. “EVEN WORSE SNIPS AND SNAILS WOULDN’T SHUT UP ABOUT ALL THE SEX TOYS YOU INTRODUCED THEM TOO…”
“OK SWEETIE BELLE, THAT’S ENOUGH!!!” Rarity cried shoving a hoof into Sweetie’s mouth to shut her up. “Heh, heh, heh, silly filly” Rarity chuckled at the crowd. “I guess I need to limit her sugar intake more….”
Just then Apple Bloom and Scootaloo burst in “Hey Rarity, we wanted to know if you were still offering those funny looking toys everypony in school keeps talking about?
“Yea, were hopping they might help us get our cutie marks!” Scootaloo added. “Oh, hey Sweetie Belle, how come you never told us about this?” she added noticing Sweetie.
“MMMWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!?” Sweetie screamed, her mouth still muffled by Rarity’s hoof.
“DARLINGS!!! I really have no idea what you are talking about!” Rarity shouted, by now her nerves were at their ropes end. “Honestly I have no idea what you three are trying to pull here but…..”
“What are you talking about? Where not trying to pull anything?” Scootaloo asked confused.
“Yea, we heard Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon talking about this strap on thing you were using on them, and we want to try it too?” Apple Bloom added.
Two thuds could be heard behind them as Applejack and Fluttershy fainted and fell off their seats. “NOT NOW YOU TOO” Rarity hissed in their ears quietly as possible. “Come to my place later on this evening, now SHOO!!! QUIETLY if you don’t mind!!!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo dejectedly walked out of the store, leaving Rarity to deal with the on looking crowd, and a now very pissed off unicorn filly.
Sweetie Belle shoved Rarity off of her with such force she nearly knocked her over. “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! NOW YOU’RE FUCKING MY FRIENDS TOO? WHAT’S NEXT PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA??!”
“Of COURSE NOT darling, I would NEVER do such a…”
Just then Spike burst into the shop waving a letter in his clenched claw. “RARITY, YOU HAVE A LETTER FROM PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA ASKING IF YOU WERE STILL ON FOR SOMETHING CALLED A THREE WAY TONIGHT AND….” Spike was caught off mid-sentence by Rarity’s glare. If looks could kill the one Rarity was giving Spike would have obliterated him on the spot.
“YES, THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH SPIKE!!!” Rarity snatched the letter from him and tore it to pieces with her magic.
“……..Er, you’re welcome.” Then Spike noticed Sweetie Belle glaring at him beside Rarity. “OH hey Sweetie Belle, how are…”
There was a loud smack followed by a crash as Sweetie Belle quickly swung around and kicked Spike upside the head as hard as she could, sending him smashing through the window. Followed by another loud crash as Twilight fainted and collapsed on the floor next to Fluttershy and AJ. Sweetie Belle then turned back to Rarity who instinctively backed away from her in fright.
“IS THERE ANYPONY ELSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? ANGEL BUNNY? OPAL? DISCORDS STATUE?”
“Darling I admit I have a rather unusually large sex drive, but even I have standards. Animals and statues are definitely out of the question.
“What about that time you were offering Twerking lessons to Winona and Owlicious?” Spike asked from the broken window. “And heck Sweetie Belle told me she once experimented with Opal when she first learned about masturbation and…”
Sweetie Belle and Rarity shared a look before they both picked up the entire counter and threw it at Spike.
Author's Note
Spike hate is best hate.
