Let's Play 'Shetlands of Catan'!
Evening has come to Ponyville. A heavy rain falls over the empty roads of the town. Within the Castle of Friendship, four friends have a conversation after a tasty dinner.
“You think it’s coming down this hard at the Pies’ rock farm?”
“Nah, this is a localized downpour,” Rainbow Dash responds to Twilight. “We’ve been a little lax when it comes to the precipitation as of late, so this is a way to make up some of the difference.”
“Well I hope it’s nicer there. It would just be a shame for the Apples’ trip to Pinkie Pie’s family to be ruined by the weather.”
“I’m sure they’re just fine, Fluttershy. Rain or shine, they have each other’s company.”
“Rarity’s right,” Twilight adds. “Pinkie is probably ecstatic just to have the families together again.”
The others nod in agreement. Silence pervades for a time, before Rainbow Dash proposes a simple question: “So … what do you ponies want to do?”
“I suppose an evening walk in the park is out of the question on a night like this.”
“I think any outdoor activity is out of the question tonight, Fluttershy. Even if there was a soirée to attend, there’s no way I’d trudge through this monsoon.”
“Well I don’t want to fly back home in this weather. And it’s too early to just turn in for the night.”
All goes quiet once again. Suddenly, Twilight exclaims: “Oh WAIT! This is PERFECT!”
The others turn to Twilight. Rainbow asks, “What’s ‘perfect’?”
“My last trip to Canterlot, I stopped at the Hobby Horse. I picked up a game, and have been waiting for an opportunity to play it. It only takes up to 4 players so I haven’t brought it up before, but with Pinkie Pie and Applejack out of town, this is a perfect time to break the game out!”
“What kind of game is this, Twilight? Is it like ‘Pin the Tail on the Pony’?”
“It’s nothing like that, Rarity. This is a strategy game.”
“Well, games are competitions … and I’m the greatest at competitions!”
“And I’d be willing to try this, Twilight,” Fluttershy adds.
Rarity begrudgingly makes it unanimous: “Well, if it’s between this and walking back to the boutique in this storm, then by all means, break out this ‘game’.”
Twilight squeals with glee and runs out of the room, only to return a minute later with a hovering box in tow. She sets the box on the floor and opens it, rapidly setting up a hexagonal gameboard on the floor.
“So how does this game work? Conquest of the world? Take everypony’s money?”
“Actually, Rainbow, we are the Shetlands of Catan. Our goal is to build towns and roads on this island board, scoring points for everything we build. First to ten points wins.”
“Wait, so there’s no conquest? No warfare?”
“It’s not that kind of game, Rainbow. But there is competition, in the form of limited available resources that you need to collect. There’s wood, clay, stone, wheat, and sheep.”
“Oh, I like sheep. They’re so peaceful, and their wool is so warm for the winter.”
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes at Fluttershy before turning back to Twilight. “So how do you get these ‘resources’?”
“Each hexagon has a number from two to twelve. Each turn involves a roll of two dice, and the hexagons with the total showing on the dice give resources to anypony who has a town on the edge of that hex. You use these resources to build roads and towns, upgrade towns to cities, and acquire special ‘development’ cards.”
“It all seems rather random if you ask me,” Rarity notes, “leaving one’s fate at the roll of common number cubes.”
“The idea is to choose places for your towns that supply a wide variety of numbers and resources. Oh, and here’s an important part: you can trade resources with other players. So if I need sheep and Fluttershy needs clay, I can give her clay for sheep.”
“But I don’t want to give up my sheep. They can make lovely pets, you know.”
“They’re just cards, Fluttershy. They’re not real sheep.”
“It’s the thought that counts.”
Twilight decides not to argue the point. “Yes, well … everything is set up, so just pick your favorite color and we can start.”
“There’s no purple? What kind of game is this if one can’t choose purple?”
“Rarity,” Rainbow argues, “it doesn’t matter what color you have. Just pick a color that’s available.”
“Well, if I must settle, I suppose I’ll take the red pieces.”
“HEY, I WANTED THE RED PIECES!”
“You just said ‘pick a color’, so I picked red. Red and purple go rather well together. As if I’d settle for that awful ‘ochre’ shade of yellow.”
“Fine, I guess I’ll take the dark blue pieces.”
“OK Fluttershy, would you rather have white or yellow?”
“I’ll take whatever’s left. You choose, Twilight.”
“OK, I’ll take the white pieces. Now we all place our first towns and get our starting resources …”
* * * *
The starting towns have been placed, and Twilight is quick to point out an unusual opening:
“You know Fluttershy, you’re only producing sheep and wheat with your starting towns. You’re going to have to rely on a lot of trading to get anywhere.”
“Why would I need to trade? I got all the sheep I could want, and plenty of wheat to feed them. This really is a pleasant game.”
“Fluttershy, dear, you really need to remember the proper context. This is just a game, you know.”
“Says the pony who built both her starting towns on ports.”
“I’ve already explained that to you once, Rainbow Dash, I need to be close to the shipping lines so I can move my fashion designs overseas. Today Catan, tomorrow all of Equestria.”
“WHAT ‘EQUESTRIA’??? You know what? You two are just gonna make it easier for me to dominate this island nation and win the game.”
“Not if I can help it, Dash!”
“Just roll the dice, princess.”
The dice hover in the air, then roll to the ground. A four and a one show up.
“Five. Looks like I get a stone and Fluttershy gets a sheep.”
Fluttershy squeals in delight. Twilight looks at her funny, then continues.
“OK, I’m going to use a wood and a clay to build a road.”
“Hey, you’re building to where I’m gonna build!”
“It’s a competition, Dash. First one there gets the spot. I’m done, so now Rarity gets to roll the dice.”
Rainbow Dash mutters under her wing while Rarity rolls the dice. “Three … oh look, I get another wheat.”
“Could I have that wheat, Rarity? I’m afraid my sheep won’t have enough food for the coming winter.”
“I won’t just give you the wheat, but I’ll trade you one for a sheep.”
Fluttershy gasps. “Give up one of my sheep?”
“Well you could use more wheat. And I need sheep; I’m not producing any on my own.”
“I … I can’t. Not now, anyway.”
“Very well, then I guess my turn is over. It’s Rainbow’s turn.”
Rainbow Dash cradles the dice in her wings and tosses them, rolling them along the floor. “Seven. I don’t see any hexagons with a seven on them. What happens now?”
“Now,” Twilight notes, “the robbermare comes into play.”
“The what?”
“The robbermare. Whenever somepony rolls a seven, that player moves the robbermare to a hex and blocks it from producing any resources. Also, you get to steal a resource from a player who has a town around that hex.”
“Really?” Rainbow Dash grins. “So I can place the robber … here!” She moves the robber to a hex containing one of Twilight’s towns. “And, I get a free resource from you.”
“Well played, Rainbow. Yes, you get to steal a hidden resource.”
Rainbow selects a card from Twilight’s pile. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! I’ll build a road and end my turn. Fluttershy, you can go now.”
* * * *
Several turns later, Rainbow Dash is pleased with her position in the game. Twilight Sparkle, less so.
“I can’t believe how terrible my luck has been with these dice. I’ve gotten almost no resources this whole game.”
“Hey, don’t feel so bad Twilight. I’m just awesome. You like how I beat you to that stone-wheat-wood spot?”
Twilight grits her teeth ever so slightly before responding. “There’s a lot of game left to play. You’re ahead now, but we won’t just let you trample all over us.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s Fluttershy’s turn again.”
Fluttershy rolls the dice. “Seven. So I get to move the robbermare, and—“
Rainbow Dash interrupts Fluttershy’s comment: “Ah ah ah, don’t forget; you gotta lose some resources.”
Fluttershy is horrified at this news. “What? Give up my … my precious sheep?”
“You got 8 cards. You gotta discard half of them.”
“But … they’re so innocent … what will that awful mare do to them?”
Rarity tries to console Fluttershy: “I’m sure she’ll let them roam free in the wild, dear.”
“Or cook them up and serve mutton!”
“Fluttershy, if you don’t want to keep playing, then we can—“
“No, Twilight. I’ll be OK.” Fluttershy gives up four sheep cards, as her eyes focus on the robber marker.
“Well, at least you get to move the robber.”
“Yes I do,” Fluttershy remarks icily as she places the robber on a hex that affects Twilight and Rainbow Dash. She proceeds to take a card from Rainbow.
“Hey, what’s with the pegasus-on-pegasus crime?”
“Sorry, but you have what I need.” Fluttershy observes the card she took, then takes two cards from her hand. “The stone I got from Rainbow Dash, combined with these wheat and sheep cards, let me get a development card.” Fluttershy draws a development card and smiles. “Payback’s gonna be something, you meanie!”
* * * *
“Fluttershy, dear, would you be willing to trade me one of your sheep for one of my stone.”
“The price is two stone for one of my sheep, Rarity.”
“Two stone??? That’s a bit steep, isn’t it?”
“Take it or leave it.”
“Well you certainly drive a hard bargain … but I simply cannot afford to wait. OK Fluttershy, two stone for one sheep.”
“Now you be a good sheep for your new owner. Give lots of wool. I’ll miss you.”
“It’s just a card!”
“It’s the thought that counts, Rainbow Dash.” Fluttershy’s comment causes another hoofpalm from Rainbow.
“Now then,” Rarity continues, “The sheep that I just got will combine with this wood, clay, and wheat card, and I can play this ‘road building’ card to get two free roads, allowing me to place a town in the last triple-hex spot on the board.”
“Whoa, I did not see that coming! You just took over my ‘Longest Road’ bonus!”
“A good designer knows all too well how important logistics is, Rainbow Dash. I need to be able to get anywhere, anytime.”
“Wow, Rarity, you’re up to 6 points now.”
“Don’t underestimate me, Twilight. You know what I’m capable of.”
“Looks like I’ve been focusing on the wrong horn-head.”
“RAINBOW DASH!”
“Just kidding, Rarity! You know that.”
“Well, I know how you get when you got competition pulsing through your bones. Anyhow, it’s your turn now.”
Rainbow rolls a nine, securing two more sheep for Fluttershy.
“Nuts, another block from that robber. Guess my turn is over. Fluttershy, it’s your roll.”
“First, another little surprise for that robbermeanie.”
Fluttershy plays a ‘Stallion’ card, allowing her to move the robber.
“Wow Fluttershy,” Twilight notes, “that’s the third ‘Stallion’ you’ve played. You just took the ‘Largest Herd’ bonus.”
Fluttershy proceeds to block a stone hex that was providing Rarity 2 stones, then steals a card from her.
“Really, after all that I’ve done for you this game.”
“It’s for the animals. For every sheep, every cub, every squirrel—“
“WHAT CUBS AND SQUIRRELS???”
“All about the principle, Rainbow Dash. Now where’s the dice?”
Rarity levitates the dice to Fluttershy, who rolls another nine.
“OK, I’ll use my sheep port to turn four sheep into a stone and a wheat, then I’ll get another development card. That ends my turn.”
* * * *
“… and I’ll use this ‘Discovery’ card to get a free stone and wheat, and then I’ll build another city. That gets me to nine points. One more and I win. How awesome is that?”
“That last point can be the hardest to get, Rainbow.”
“Says the pony stuck at four.”
If they’re happy, that’s all that matters, Twilight thinks to herself as she forces out a chuckle.
“Lest you forget, darling, I’m on eight points already and will go again before you. I might win on my turn.”
“We’ll see. OK Fluttershy, it’s your turn.”
Fluttershy rolls an eight, bringing ore to both Rarity and Rainbow Dash. She ponders her move for many seconds.
“Come on,” Rainbow urges, “you only got three towns and the ‘Largest Herd’ bonus. It’s not like you’re move’s gonna make much difference.”
“I hate to agree with Laughing Girl over here,” Rarity adds, “but you’ve spent most of this game just hoarding development cards. I know you seem to have a personal vendetta against that inanimate block of wood, but you should probably just get your move over with so I can win on my turn.”
“You seem pretty sure of yourself, fashion-queen.”
“I am sure, Speedy Equinez.”
Fluttershy ponders for a bit longer, before acting: “OK, first I play this ‘Monopoly’ card and take all your stone.”
“GAAH!!!” The cry of anguish causes Rainbow to laugh at Rarity’s misfortune. “You lost your stone too, you know.”
“Maybe, but I got other ways to get my last point. I’m sure I’m gonna win now.”
Fluttershy continues: “Now then, I use the three stones I stole, combine that with one wheat, and use two sheep to convert to another wheat. That gives me a city.”
“Too little too late, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash starts …
“That gets me four points on the board, two more for ‘Largest Herd’ …” Fluttershy waves a wing, causing four more development cards from her hand to flip over. “… and four more for these four ‘VP’ development cards, giving me ten points.”
Rainbow Dash and Rarity both gape in stunned silence, which Twilight breaks.
“Congratulations, Fluttershy! Well done! I think I read about how important those cards were, but I never thought you could win with so little on the board. I gotta hoof it to you, you know how to play.”
“Thank you Twilight. And thank you too, Rarity and Rainbow, for a fun game. We should do it again some time.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow says after getting her bearings. “Well played. Guess I underestimated you.”
“As did I,” Rarity adds. “You certainly know the power of sheep.”
“Oh Rarity, they’re only cards!” Fluttershy chuckles audibly as her foes look to each other.
“Rarity? Were we just played?”
“Like a marionette, I’m afraid.”
Twilight says nothing, but thinks about another letter to the princess:
Dear Princess Celestia: today I learned that when playing games with friends, beware the nice ones!
