The Muffin Mare

Derpy had titled her hoof up to her face, slowly, to see that, that was indeed where the strange sticky muffin mixture had been coming from. The sticky matter was slowly spewing from the hole, the weirdest part for her was that it was coming from inside her. She could’t help but to shudder at the thought. Yes, she loved muffins, but not to where she would have mix inside her body.

Even after quite a while of looking the hoof up and down analyzing it, she had still come to no conclusion about what was going on, oddly, it was just a small hole in her hoof that had muffin mix seeping from it. The mix gradually slowed down the flow, and she was able to clean her hoof off. Yet a quick look to her right showed more confusion and despair, when she noticed that her right hoof had been dripping muffin mix onto the floor the whole time that she was looking at her left hoof, she could only wonder at how she didn’t feel her standing on it as it released.

She sighed, her day was getting more and more exhausting by the minute, she felt she deserved sleep. Though sadly, she could’t sleep until she got the muffin mix to stop coming out of her hooves, it was almost like a curse to her.

Once she was finally able to get both her hooves cleaned up, she noticed something more scary, her stomach almost fell at the sight. Due to the mixture being sticky, the sink was clogged with muffin mix. Slowly, Derpy turned around and made her way to the kitchen, passing Dinky on the way, grabbing a knife to go scrape the mix off of the sink’s edges. As Derpy was cleaning she noticed just how tough the stuff really was, yet finally, after a good two hours she had gotten rid of just about all of it. Calmly, she looked her work up and down, content and proud of the job she had gotten done, she had trotted to the kitchen to go put up the knife.

The night was long for her, yet had finally come to the end she had needed since the start. Getting ready to crawl into bed, she grabbed the sheets and picked them up, while picking her hoof up to throw them towards the middle. But on the attempt to release the blanket. It didn’t fall from her hoof, it simply sat there, at the flat surface of her hoof. Right on top of the hole where the muffin mix was coming from earlier. Confused, she used her other hoof to poke at the blanket, hoping that it would disconnect.

It just sat there. The blanket was simply just saying no to all of her request to leave her hoof alone.

That’s weird… It’s never done that before…

Then again, today is the weirdest day I’ve ever had…

As she poked the blanket, it simply refused to move, slowly her poking turned into her simply shaking the hoof with the blanket, in hopes of it detaching from her. In the end, a few minutes had passed, and she hat gotten it to move.

Carefully she laid down, closing her eyes, thinking of muffins, and going into a peaceful slumber.

The next morning.

She awoke to the smell of muffin mix, which was normal for her. She just hoped that meant that today would be normal. Then she started thinking.

What if my hooves were making muffin mix in my sleep?

What if that’s what I’m smelling?

She sat there, frozen, with fear that another case of this muffin mix might have happened to her again. Quickly, she took the blanket and threw it off her bed, squirming to get out from underneath it. A look of relieve was on her face when she had seen that there had been nothing there.

Maybe today is normal

Laying there, she slowly stretched out, putting her front hooves above her head. She enjoyed the relief of being able to stretch her muscles out after not being able to use them at all yesterday, she heard her back crack comfortably, and what sounded like something getting hit, she blew it off. After finishing with stretching, she pulled her hooves back to her sides to sit up. Only. Something stopped her left hoof from going back to her side.
 Confused, she looked up to see a strand of muffin mix connecting her hoof to the headboard, now she knew what that weird sound was. Her face only showed confusion, as she sat up and pulled her hoof away, though it gave resistance, it ended up breaking.

First, it was just leaking out of me, now it’s shooting?

What next?!

She had to figure this out, why it shot out of her.

Maybe I can control it?

She extended her left hoof in front of her, nothing happened. It took multiple attempts to figure out how to replicate the effects, she ended up tilting the last joint of her hoof down just a little, exactly like how she was stretching her hoof earlier in bed, then suddenly a line of the mix leaped out of her hoof and onto the wall. An expression of glee passed her face as she figured out that she now had control of whatever was going on with her. She liked it.

She was about to take another shot, when instead she shot a look at the clock to see she only had about five minutes to get to work.

Oh no!! I got to get going! Now!

She fixed her mane as quick as possible, and flew out the window as quick as possible. Though, of course with her late exit from the house, she was only a few minutes late to her job though. Not like anypony really cared, they all loved Derpy and understood that sometimes it was hard to fly with her eye issue, so they blew it off. Besides, she wasn’t always late, it was more of a once a week thing.

Though, as she got to work, she realized just how much there was, she had almost fifty or sixty new missile designs on her desk that she had to review, quite a intimidating sight for her really. Derpy looked on at the mountain of paper, and slowly started working, as she started she realized the one big mistake she made as a sharp hunger pain stabbed at her. She hadn’t eaten dinner last night because of the pain, taken breakfast this morning because of the lack of time, along with taking her daily lunch muffin. She thought of some solutions for her hunger. All of which were pretty hopeless, until she thought up a genius idea.

Wait… I can make muffin mix!

They also have a microwave oven! Maybe I can use my powers to make a muffin!

She was hoping that this would work, because if it did, she wouldn’t have to waste her bits anymore buying muffin mix. Slowly, she left her desk and went to the break room, to see that someone had already preheated the oven

That’s nice… Less work for me!

She got to thinking, she was hungry, not for a small muffin, she wanted a big muffin, not big. Giant. She looked around, and found the one thing she wanted. A coffee filter. She messed around with her hooves, and soon enough muffin mix trailed out from her hoof, slowly filling the coffee filter to the brim. The stickiness of the mix also kept the filter sticking to the mix, so it stayed in the muffin shape she was trying to achieve.

She stuck it in the microwave oven, but after what felt like forever, she finally heard the timer signaling that it was done go off. As she pulled it out, she realized how hungry she was, as she dug her face into it and devoured it. Amazingly, she didn’t eat any of the coffee filter while eating so carelessly. Yet, as soon as she finished her muffin she ended up having to go back to work at her desk.

It was a long day, and she had completed looking over all the submitted designs, occasionally eating some raw muffin mix as a snack, she found it to be quite tasty. After she had learned how to control it, she realized that it wasn’t half as bad as it used to be, except for the part where her hoofs started sticking to things for no reason, she found that she could get used to that though, especially if that meant that she could have all this muffin mix!

Before she knew it, the day was already over, it was probably muffin mix that got her through the day so easily… Either way, she was glad it was over, and it showed after the boss gave her the ok to go home, when she flew out the minute the words came from his mouth.

As she flew home she was messing with her new found ability of shooting muffin mix, she would giggle as she shot some onto windows, and after some experimenting, she learned she could ball up the mix as she shot it, and when she threw it, it made a big splat.

Though she found it really fun, it felt like the more she shot the muffin mix, the more it drained her of her energy. Now that she had mastered her ability to shoot the mix, she wanted to figure out what was going on with her sticky hooves, and how she could control it so it doesn’t get in her way like the way it did this morning, especially since it made her late for work, and she can’t have to go through that everyday…

As Derpy walked inside, she noticed that Dinky wasn’t home, which was good because she didn’t need Dinky asking her questions. She slowly walked to the table an sat down at it, with a piece of paper in front of her, all she was doing was placing her hoof flat on the paper hoping for it to pick up, nothing she tried was working, until one point when she focused, she picked it up. Then it slowly flew down to the table like a feather.

Derpy was undeterred, she was going to hold it for as long as she possible, she was going to master this, just like being able to shoot the muffin mix on demand. She wanted the same results. After hours of practice, she finally got it down, all she had to do was think about making her hoof sticky, and it happened. She was tired, especially after all that work, then she looked around.

Maybe, I can walk upstairs and go take a nap. Without the stairs. Derpy contemplated on whether it was smart to go with the idea, for if she messed up, she could hurt herself on the way down. She ended up thinking about just going with it. Which is exactly what she did.

As she walked up to the wall, it was already intimidating. She slowly hauled her front hooves in the air and placed them on the wall, then her right hind hoof. Now she was standing up on only one hoof. She, closed her eyes, took in one last breath and pushed up while laying attempting to firmly place her leg on the wall.

She was falling. It felt like she was going to hit the ground at any minute. She opened her eyes about to shout, she wasn’t falling…

It feels… weird… not moving my wings to fly, but still relay weird, I’ll probably have to get used to it…

After a few long minutes she slowly walked up the wall, completely cutting around the stairs, to go take a nap for the evening. After all, she had to go make a whole bunch of deliveries later for her side job as a mail mare.