Nature's finest

by The Psychopath

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Fluttershy, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Zecora, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4187

A man who disregards nature finds himself cursed and incapable of communication anymore.

Samaru163 WILL BE TAKING OVER THIS STORY. In the future, expect to see this story on his page. Edit:2/04/2015 I guess not... No he won't.

(The Forest Guardians are an idea from Samaru163)
Jonathan Polt is a rather kind fellow, although a bit rude every now and then, like any average man. He lives in a fine house in a cul-de-sack where everyone knows everyone. Generally, everyone likes him, but he has what few would consider a major flaw, he has an utter disregard for nature and litters however whenever. He doesn't care. Acid leaking from a battery? In the river! Toxic waste? Feed it to the deer!

However, as a little incident occurs in the neighborhood, he tries to catch a dog that runs into the nearby forest. This is where he is captured by the nearby trees and absorbed within. What happens next would be called a curse. Will you follow this poor character as he tries to cope with his predicament?

Published 2012-06-22 02:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-22 02:14:02 UTC

The judgement

I'm Jonathan Polt. One of your more atypical men on Earth. I love to mess around with my friends, go bowling every now and then, race, bet, and generally mess around. I live in a cul-de-sack. Okay, not totally, but I do live near the dead-end. Everyone here knows eachother, and if anything bad is going on, we help eachother out. This is how we managed to bag mister Victor a few months ago. Chelsea was a fine girl, she was very kind, but when that bastard showed up, he started to beat her. We weren't sure at the time, but when we learned about it, well, let's just say that Chelsea got the medical attention she needed and that Victor was a bit...crushed in more places then the heart. He's been in prison ever since. Then there was that time that old mister leonard, who happily gave his money to those who needed, became victim of a vengeful bank accountant. We helped him out, and the accountant soon found himself behind bars too. Surprised? You should be. Mess with us and you'll pay.

I had a job though. What was it? Lumberjack. Yes, I'm okay with it. No. I don't sleep all night or work all day. I'm actually called every now and then. It isn't that much of a dilemma actually. No. I just chop down trees during three days and go home afterwards. It's like working on an oil rig. You work for two weeks then you go home for the rest of the year. Seeing how much the companies earn, I think they can afford it. As for me, it's just because I have a little birth defect in my spinal column. Nothing much, but I can't perform too many physical activities or my muscles buckle up and paralyze me for a few moments. Since I'm as hard working as the others, the company heads have allowed me to have a necessary amount of rest thanks to my medical certificate.

Today, however, was nothing special. I was busy watching T.V. in my room on my king-sized bed. It was dinner time, and the sunset was coming in. I was just watching a documentary on the world wars. I was bored. While I was doing that, I heard a huge explosion, followed by everything in my room bouncing up and falling back down. Blandly setting everything down, I walked outside to notice that everyone was there wondering what was going on as well. I saw my body David in front worrying a bit while I held mah cup 'o coffee.

"Hey Dave. Biggie Mac fall down again?"

"Haha. No. We're four blocks away from his house."

"So?"

"When he falls, the tremors only reach three."

"Haha! We're bad."

"I know."

Biggie Mac was a morbidly obese guy living four blocks away from us. We didn't hate him, oh no. We even helped him do some sports to lose weight. Only problem is, he is only motivated when we make fun of his weight. It hurt a bit inside to say that stuff, but it was funny for us and made him work harder. Either way, we didn't know what happenned, until some truckie came by in an ass-hauling four-by-four.

" 'Ey! There's been an asplosion down the street. Some idiot went 'n left 'is gas tank on and lit a light. We've gotta go down there!"

The guy then turned back around with some difficulty and went back to the now ascending smoke.

"Holy crap! Dave, call the emergency lines."

"On it!"

"I'll go get my extinguisher and some first-aid kits."

Getting the necessary supplies, I locked down my house and jolted towards my small car. Doing so, I reached the the keys and bolted down the streets followed by the others. It was an absolute mess when we got there. The house was completely exploded, and pieces were everywhere, flaming too. I got mah trusty extinguisher and passed the first-aid kit to those wishing to help the wounded, and got to putting out the fires.

"Whose house is this anyways?" I asked out loud.

Everybody shrugged. I continued to spray the thing when I heard barking coming from somewhere.

"Oh shit! Hey guys, there's a dog stuck under here. Help me get it out."

"Alright. Hold on."

Luckily for me, I had already extinguished that portion of the house. With a great amount of effort, we lift up the fallen pieces of house, and out went the dog who immediately ran towards the nearby forest. I rolled my eyes in irritation as it went ever deeper into the trees.

"*sigh* Don't worry guys, I've got this. Here, take the extinguisher."

"Careful now."

"Don't worry, it's me!"

I chased after that sucker. It was pretty quick, too! It hopped over root and moss-covered rock as the dry-leaf-covered floor echoed like mush with every step. I tried lulling it back to me, but that bastard wouldn't listen. I did notice something strange going on though. The sky was getting redder and the trees seemed to have been getting closer.

"Weird. Get back her you stupid dog! C'mon! I'm not trying to hurt you. Oompf!"

I hit my head against a tree branch that seemingly came out of nowhere. Rubbing my head in pain, I cursed at it and swiped it out of my way, only to get hit in the back by another one. Confusion ran across my face. The worst part is, my back was starting to kill me, so I sat down on a tree root.

"Owww. Damn this spinal condition. I can only go so far. But those trees, it's almost like *snap*"

A tree branch wrapped around my mouth. My mumbled screams didn't go too far as vines began to grab my limbs and wrap around them. More tree branches grabbed me and pulled me towards a hollow giant that seemed dead for quite long time. In front of me, that ash-black dog was sitting and staring at me. I tried to gesture it to go get help, but it shook its head and looked at me with what I could perceive as anger. My eyes widened as, from the dead tree, spewed purplish vines that itched and rashed terribly. It didn't help with me being completely engulfed in it and feeling a G-force ripping through me as I flew somewhere strange. A few seconds later, I landed with a loud thump in some weird chamber. It was in the tree. Surrounding the walls was the greenest vine I could ever see. The rest looked like it was carved out of the tree itself, and in front of me there was some sort of gigantic table of counselors. The greenish creatures sitting there looked, I don't know, reptilian? It was hard to say. They were looking at me quite angrily. I felt myself shrink. Suddenly, one of them spoke:

"You..."it said coldly "You finally decided to leave the discomfort of your cement world of cold sturdiness to enter nature's domain? Bad idea."

"What-"

"SILENCE!" screamed another. "You have only been giving respite to understand our tongue as your actions against Gaia have disturbed the equilibrium in all things. While the majority of your race pollutes, it is of a somewhat manageable level, but you! You pollute without thought or care. You gladly tossed twelves rotting batteries into the river. Their acidic compounds almost killed everything if others of your species hadn't intervened."

"But-"

"And you nearly killed off a brand-new species of insect we had implemented in 'your' yard, hoping that your attention would lead to appreciation towards nature, but to no avail. Not only id you nearly kill them, but you poisoned the grounds too." a female one roared.

"Not only that, but your carelessness even put your fellow species in danger. You will have to pay the ultiate price." a very big creature followed with irritation on hs face.

"But, who are you? What are you?"

"We are the Forest Guardians, and upon you, we place a curse."

The vines grabbed my limbs and started to tear everything off...even my skin. I felt a sad tone go through my mind as everything seemed to be taken away from me in every way possible.

"A curse that will link you to nature in many ways."

Now my clothes were gone. I was embarassed, but the creatures didn't care. Now it was the turn of my flesh. It was so painful, but a vine muffled my screams.

"A curse that will prevent you from returning to this world and seeing your friends and family."

It was still being torn off! It was so painful!

"You will never see your parents again."

Now it was all gone. I was wondering how I was still alive seeing as I was pretty much only bones now.

"This curse will give you new shape."

The vines began to pull, push, and constrict my body. I screamed like mad, but my roars of pain were still muffled by the now thorned vine.

"The curse will fill you upon the importance of nature."

I felt my soul being torn at as my bones finished twisting and burning.

"This curse will change your appearance."

What the hell? Now there were miniature treeants in front of me. They slammed bits and pieces on me, and jammed more of those long thorns straight into my bones to keep this new flesh attached. God knows the pain of getting your bones pierced all the way to the other side, and this pain was everywhere. Those green creatures did not care. They continued to stare at my predicament.

"The curse, as we have said before, shall link you not only to nature, but to us as well. Your eyes shall be ours, and they will be your one and only gift."

"Mphfmph?!"

Two red and green vines went up to my eyes. I couldn't help but try and retract until I felt something inch into my skin without any care. The vines near my eyes then...

"And to finish everything, you shall be given one final curse."

"Yes. You will not be able to communicate with any other creature through speech. You will be given our tongue, and that shall be the only tongue spokn unto others by your entity."

Another searing pain flew through my throat, ony to stop as suddenly as it started.

"Your alterations are complete. You will not be sent to the world of your punishment."

"It is a lovely world, but there are many dangerous creatures there. I would be careful if I were you. Don't you want to see your lovely Carla?" the female one spoke with a weird tone and a dazzling smile. One that I recognized.

I could still barely see, but I tried to mumble something, only to have an ocean of red come out of mouth.

"Yes. That's right Johhny, I'm Carla. I've been keeping a close watch on you since you began your crusade of death. I never loved you and I never will. Buh-bye. OH! And since we both loved Pirates of the Caribbean, just imagine me being Calypso while you're poor, heart-broken Davy Jones."

I heard something big form from the wood of the tree, as well as the sound of her started to play a tune that we both knew all too well. It was the same one going through my head, but with more intensity and more mockery, and it was on an Organ.

"Have fun in the tunnel!" she shouted.

Suddenly, the vines let go and I began to plummet into a hole that had suddenly fored below me. Any added attempts at screaming were met with heavy coughing and a rain of blood. I slipped and slid through this tunnel as tree branches began to slap me. I still could barely see anything but blackness, but I could feel that the leaves on those tree branches were getting more and more numerous, and, as the music finally stopped, I felt myself hit the ground harshly and tumble all the way into a crater, only to stop against a little mounting of dirt. I moaned a bit, and I tried to stand back up, but I was just pitter-pattering my body everywhere as it ached like crazy. I could barely move so much I was in pain. As I continued to "flop" I smelled a strange breeze in the air.

"Flowers?" I thought to myself.

Suddenly, I herd intense roaring. It was just adding even more pain and I felt my body beginning to spasm. I managed to hold myself with an exhale, and the little I could see was a pissed off multi-headed carnivorous plant. I almost screamed, but it was met with the usual result. I scamperd up as fast as I could and ran away from it into the wilderness. I knew those Guardians were mocking me, as everytime I ran a bit faster as, somehow, that thing continued to chase me, a tree branch smacked me in the head, slowing me down. I even slammed into a few rocks myself or tripped over a stone. It was getting closer and closer. I was tearing up. I just felt something strange about my body, but I just didn't know what. When I finally left the dark confines of the forest, which took quite alot of time, I felt my spine act up, and I tumbled onto the floor on my back.

I was panting hard, incapable of seeing anything properly. I was in searing pain, I was suddenly sent into another world while the girl I always loved turned out be a spah and was more sadistic than the other green creatures, I don't think I have my body anymore, I'll never see my family again, and thanks to those damned trees, I was about to be eaten by some sort of monstrous beast. Yet, when I forced my head up, its blurred image didn't stray away from the tree-line. I sighed in relief...well..."semi-sighed" as I coughed half-way through. The lumbering giant returned to wherever its den was, and I felt the soft caress of Carla on my face as something yellow appeared in front of my face. I struggled to move, maybe even give her a kiss, but a searing pain pierced me in the eyes once more. I screamed in agony as I put my hands to my eyes. There was nothing left but the cold embrace of darkness now. So cold.

The wooden cabin

My head. I'm still cold. I must have been knocked out by one of the flying debris during the fire. I guess they didn't see me, so I'm stuck outside. I put a hand on the floor, only to feel it comfortable...like a pillow or matress. That dream was horribly painful, so I hesitate to open my eyes, but I finally do. At first, everything is blurred, but the light starts to settle in to reveal that I was in a cabin covered in small animals. My body is still sore, but I try to move anyways. I felt like my joints were rusted. I shoo the tiny things away from me and try to stand, only to fall down with a loud thump. I struggle upwards once more, only to see that my hand was no longer a hand, but a bright green hoof covered in vines and plants. I begin to panic as I scurry my back to the wall and look at my legs, trembling with the entirety of my lost body. Using all my strength to stand up, I manage to pull myself towards a mirror on the wall where some wodden stairs stood, reaching ever higher as my doom seems to have been fulfilled.

I was a lime green now as my body had vines slither and crawl across the surface of this coat. My mane and tail were a very dark red and placed in the form of some type of mohawk while the tail looked like some kind of thorned baton albeit still made of hair or fur or whatever it is that that strands are called. Near the sides of my rear legs, the thorns had swirled about and five pink flowerse had blossomed. There were two things that abhorred me me over all: my throat and my eyes.
In my throat there were several vines piercing through, and they became red as soon as they approached my neck. As they swayed so, they seemed to twirl out of the back and pass through my main, only to go around my eyes and stop at the end of my muzzle. My eyes, however, had a very dark jungle green in the place of the typical white. While my pupil stayed the same, albeit with a slightly spiky shape now, the iris was much worse. The outlaying color was red, while the inner was a thin white.

Once I finally managed to remmber what happened, I began to cry. The one that I had loved aabandoned me. I had met Carla at the university, and she was always there for me. In the time that we both got jobs, we became slightly separated, but only for te duration of the work hours. Every evening we'd meet up with eachother and hang out, talk about our jobs and so on. And here, I learned that it was all just for show. The worst part is that she seemed to adore the situation I was in and was taking great pleasure in torturing me, but she was right. While I was the poor mortal Davy Jones having turned into that octopus creature for not following my duties, she was the goddess Calypso who had been betrayed and finally took her revenge on him.

Those little creatures stared at me as I looked at these green hooves upon which the vines pulsated and antagonized me as I began to cry. And then I felt it. They didn't limit themselves to linking me with plants, I was pretty much a plant myself as well. Wiping my tears, I could see that they had turned into some type of nectar-like substance. I was cursed, terribly, but I suppose curses are supposed to be that bad, but this was terrible and torturing. Now I was some sort of equine coupled with a plant, and I was nearly killed by one too! Where the hell was I? Then I heard a strange shambling and ruffling, I turned around to see two more equines. One was purple with a dark bluish mane that seemed to have a purple and pink stripe flowing through them and... a horn?! And the other was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane!

"Oh no! Not again! Stay away from me! You've hurt me enough as is!" I screamed as I scampered towards the exit, still incapable of walking like this. Unfortunately, my back pains were still in effect, so I tumbled down.

"Oh no! Please, don't move." the pegasus shouted...somewhat quietly. " You're still wounded. It would be bad if you continued to try and move."

I wouldn't listen. I wasn't going to believe her. How was it even possible for a...pony(?) to talk? Let alone have wings. As I began pulling myself towards the door, those little critters hopped on my back and managed to hold me down who knows how. Then, I felt myself become envelopped in some sort of purple aura and be gently levitated to the mount of cushions that I was on earlier. I saw those two walk towards me with weird looks on their faces. As my heart began to race, I tried to dig myself a little bunker under the pillows, but the animals wouldn't let me move.

"Okay, I know what you want. Just kill me already! Torture me! Do whatever you want, but do it quick. This pain is unbearable." I shouted.

I noticed that the two ponies thrust their heads back in with a look of confusion. The purple one then spoke:

"Fluttershy, what is it saying?"

"I don't know. All I can hear is the sound of wind coming through his mouth."

"Yeah. It's still fascinating. It looks like a pony crossed with a plant. It looks amazing."

"I know, but look how the vines on it are piercing through its skin. That looks very painful."

"Maybe it's normal?"

"Normal?!" I try and yell "This isn't normal! I'm not what you see in front of you. Get off me." I shout at the animals, who immediately jump off.

I look at them in surprise, and try to run away, but I'm held back by what I could suspect as being mares.

"Nono. I said don't move. It's for your own good." the pegasus told me.

"I wonder if it has a family or if it really is from the plants."

Family? Oh yeah...My eyes start to water up as I recall that my curse prevents me from ever seeing my family again. I begin to sob that nectar substance with my hooves to my face. I felt something soft and comforting wrap itself around me and start to rock me. It was that "Fluttershy" character. She was humming and lulling me to sleep who knows how.

"Wow, Fluttershy. I didn't know that you could do that."

"I've had to do this with some of the little ones when they cry or can't sleep."

Somehow, I was really falling asleep, and I could feel that the vines were loosening too. As I begn to fall asleep, something I really needed, I heard whispering echoing everywhere. It was getting louder and louder, and I finally slammed my hooves to my ears and pushed them down, a very strange feeling. It was getting louder and louder but suddenly stopped when I heard a familiar giggle. I looked to the door to see that Carla was there, or, atleast, her true form. She was holding up a very thick and sharp sword adorned a maniacal face.

"I'll get ya." she said.

My pupils shrunk, I screamed, and I instinctively ran out the door even if it was clumbsy running. I scampered away as best I could while that sadistic bitch was running after me. How did the other two not see her? Even they were chasing me, but not for the same reasons. I saw a nearby town, so I galopped quickly towards it, my spine using its best efforts to sustain the pressure. I don't think I've ever strained myself this badly. I shoved through several more ponies, all who yelled at me until Carla sliced through the building next to them and plowed through it, tossing rubble everywhere.

"Stay away from me you crazy bitch!"

"Nononono! You must be punished. I'll deal with this the way I want to."

"Aren't I punished enough? You broke my heart, I'll never see my family again, I can't talk, I'm constantly sore. What more do you want?!"

"Your slow and painful death!"

"Ahhh!"

The exploding pieces of building erupted everywhere constantly and I was running towards a pink pony who had its back turned, until it turned around. It was a mare. She was standing on her hind-legs, was wearing a red bandana, had what looked like a cigar in her mouth, and was holding...a flame-thrower? The hell?

"Go away eveil spirit!"

"What?!" Carla roared.

Suddenly, a torrent of flame flew into the air and engulfed Carla who began to scream psychotically. When the pink mare finished expelling the flames, everyone got to see, a strange ball of fire moving about wildly, until it hopped far away.

"There ya go." she said as she chomped through what I could now deduce as being a chocloate bar in her mouth.

"Thanks."

"Huh? I'll take that as a 'thanks'."

"Damn. That's true. They don't understand me."

The other two ran up to us, while I looked at this pink one in confusion. How could she see Carla if the others couldn't?

"Pinkie, what was that thing that you lit?" the unicorn was panicking.

"I don't know. I was just testing a new toy I got." she gave a wide smile.

I don't know why, but I was sure that she was lying.

"By the way, whose this?"

"I don't know. Fluttershy found it after it leapt out of the forest. It was being chased by the Ivamora."

"Ooooo. Scary. So, does he want a party?"

"It's a he?"

"Yeah! Can't you tell?"

I looked at the other two look at eachother in confusion, then I showed them that I was pissed off at that remark.

"I couldn't. The vines block everything so even looking at his face, I couldn't figure it out." Fluttershy answered.

"Well, let's give him a small party. Everypony isn't here, and both Rainbow Dash and Rarity are gone for the week, so..." Pinkie looked slightly dissappointed. "Oh well. A party is a party!"

What have I gotten myself into?