The Unexpected Date
“I’m nervous.”
Rarity looked up from her makeup bag and towards the flustered Twilight Sparkle, who was only thirty minutes away from leaving Carousel Boutique and trotting off to her date. It wasn’t often that Twilight asked somepony out on a date, and as such, Rarity had decided that she simply had to intervene.
After all, as Twilight's most fabulously fashionable friend, it was her celestial duty to aid the poor unicorn.
“Nervous? Don’t be silly,” she replied, looking down to her bag, trying to find the perfect blush for her friend. “You look like a million bits, darling. Or you will once I find my powder. I swear if Sweetie took it, I’ll—”
“What if something goes wrong?” Twilight asked, fidgeting in her dress and lifting her hoof to rub her eyes until Rarity sternly swatted it away. “I mean, I don’t know! What if I say something wrong, or order the wrong type of food, or—”
“Ah-hah!” Rarity interrupted, taking out the elusive item. She opened it up, and with a small brush applied it on Twilight’s cheeks. “Twilight, all you have to remember to do is not order food with strong scents. There is nothing more appalling than kissing somepony with atrocious breath.”
“Rarity!” Twilight blurted out, and Rarity couldn’t tell if she was blushing or if she’d applied too much make-up. “We’re not going to kiss! It’s the first date!”
Rarity giggled, playfully brushing the tip of Twilight’s nose. “One must always be prepared. I have some mints on my desk upstairs; you can take those too, if you’d like.”
Twilight fell silent. “What if…” She looked away, her ears dropping. “What if I get stood up? What if I’m left waiting because I’m not good enough and—” She let out a groan, and the only reason she wasn’t able to bury her face in her hooves was because Rarity stopped her.
“Twilight, look at me,” she said, and when Twilight did as told, she brushed back her friend’s bangs. “I promise you will have a wonderful date, which you will tell me all about tomorrow once I recover from Pinkie’s soiree.”
Twilight looked down. “You don’t know that.”
Rarity giggled. “Darling, it’s me. I know everything,” she insisted, her smile growing wider when Twilight’s lips finally shifted into a small smile. “There! Ready. Anything else we need to do?”
Twilight nodded, a book titled Dating: Do’s and Don’tsfloating next to her. “Can you quiz me on this, please?”
“We shouldn’t be spying on Twilight.”
“Rainbow Dash, we are not spying on Twilight. We’re merely making sure her date is going well.”
These were the immortal words of Rarity the unicorn as she and Rainbow Dash trotted their way through Ponyville’s shopping district. She was a mare with a very important mission, carefully avoiding the dozens of meandering ponies who were intent on taking full advantage of the late-night shops and their silly discounts. Though she would have loved to window shop a bit, there was no time for such trivial affairs when they were on the brink of what promised to be quite an eventful Saturday evening for Twilight Sparkle.
Unfortunately, even if Rarity adored Twilight, she wouldn’t trust her friend to know what to do on a date even if her life depended on it. Anypony who even had to buy a book on dating clearly needed some… assistance…
“Why is she on a date, anyway? She’s totally gonna miss Pinkie’s Cake Bash tonight!"
Trotting next to her, a somewhat annoyed Rainbow Dash glanced at the windows of the passing shops. As it turned out, Rainbow Dash had generously offered to accompany Rarity on her very important mission, from the goodness of her heart — and a little bit of 'encouragement' from Rarity in the form of some well-rehearsed theatrics and pleading.
"Or, why didn’t she just take her date to the party?” the pegasus continued, rolling her eyes as she often did when saying completely preposterous statements.
Rarity scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous! The only thing you can get intimately acquainted with in there is cake frosting and calories, certainly not another pony. Twilight needs a nice quiet place where she won’t be bothered by anypony.”
Rainbow Dash smirked. “Except, y’know, her friends spying on her, but whatever, no biggie.”
“Darling, a lady does not spy. She investigates,” Rarity replied. “And besides, we won’t take nearly long enough for it to be considered spying. All we’ll do is see them having a nice time, and then we’ll be off to Pinkie’s.“ She stopped and added, “Look, see, we’re here already!”
She pointed to a restaurant in the distance, the name ‘Equestrian Delicacies’ painted on the façade. A line of ponies waited outside, as they should considering it was the premiere dining place in Ponyville. Ponies had to make reservations weeks in advance to get a decent spot, and even then, if you were so much as ten minutes late, your reservation would be given off to somepony else.
The two mares made their way towards one of the large windows on the outside of the building, which they used to see inside.
“I don’t see her,” Dash said after a moment, her face smushed against the window, eliciting a very displeased look from a passing waiter. “Maybe they left already?"
“Don’t be silly, you’re just not looking hard enough,” Rarity reprimanded, peering through the window in a much more ladylike manner, thank you very much.
Unfortunately, as Rainbow had pointed out, Twilight seemed to be nowhere in sight. The place was crowded with all sorts of socialite ponies and their dates, and it made sense the socially awkward unicorn would pick the most secluded spot. Drat, and I can’t risk going inside and having her see me.
“Rarity, why is this so important to you?” Rainbow asked, looking away from the window. “Come on, it’s Twilight, not Fluttershy. She’s fine. She probably has a checklist of things to do if something goes wrong.”
“Pardon me, but you weren’t there before she left for her date,” Rarity said, still searching for the unicorn. “The poor dear was terribly nervous, and I worry she might…” She furrowed her brow, trying to find the right word. “...overreact in her nervousness. She really wanted to impress her date.”
“Uh, Rares?” Dash said, sounding strained. “I think that’s gonna be hard to do…”
“What? Why? Did you find her? What’s she doing?” Rarity asked, pressing herself against the pegasus and smushing her muzzle against the window. “I don’t see her! What are you tal…” She drifted off, a lump forming in her throat.
Now, Rarity saw Twilight. She saw her clear as day, her table surrounded by several couples enjoying romantic dinners while Twilight sat across an empty chair.
Oh.
“What time is it?!” Rarity asked, magicking her bag open and taking out a pocket watch, on which she was horrified to see over an hour had gone by since the start of Twilight’s date. “A quarter to ten?!”
“She’s been sitting here waiting since eight thirty?!” Dash asked, similarly upset by the discovery. She frowned, moving back from the window and stamping her hoof against the floor. “What’s this jerk’s deal?!”
“Definitely not good manners, I’ll tell you that,” Rarity replied, pressing her face against the window, where she saw Twilight awkwardly smile at passing waiters before promptly burying her face in her hooves once they’d left.
Rarity turned around towards Dash, pressing a hoof against her chest. “Ohhhh… What should we do? I don’t want to just leave her here…”
“Looks like we won’t have to,” Dash replied, glancing inside the restaurant. “I think she’s getting the check.”
As Dash said, when Rarity turned around to look at her friend, she found the unicorn gesturing towards the waiter. Rarity’s heart fell at this. That was it? That’s how it was going to end? With a broken heart and Twilight going home with her tail between her hindlegs?
No.
Rarity had promised to Twilight Sparkle that she’d have a wonderful date, and she’d be damned if she didn’t keep her word.
“Rainbow,” she said, slamming her hoof against the other's chest. “I have an idea.”
About ten minutes later, once Rainbow had set off with Rarity’s clear instructions, the unicorn made her way into the restaurant. She trotted by the line of waiting ponies and ignored their protests as she stepped inside without registering. To her good fortune, Twilight’s waitress had yet to bring the check, allowing Rarity the opportunity to intercept her.
“You’re with her?” the waitress asked, and in her eyes Rarity could feel her judgmental aura. It made sense the waitress was mistaking Rarity for the very tardy date, and as such she held her tongue when the mare rather unprofessionally murmured “guess she must be good in the sac—”
“Well, thank you so very much!” Rarity quickly said, taking the two menus from the mare’s grip and trotting ahead before she could overhear anything else.
Twilight still had her face in her hooves, and as such was unaware of Rarity’s presence until she loudly cleared her throat. Twilight immediately looked up, a spark of hopeful excitement in her eyes, and Rarity felt terrible when the spark died the second Twilight realized that no, her date hadn’t arrived.
“Oh…” Twilight said, looking down to her plate. “So much for lying tomorrow and saying the date went great.”
“Darling! Whatever do you mean? The date has yet to start!” Rarity exclaimed, sitting down on the empty chair. She lifted her hoof and signaled to a waiter. “Sir!”
“Rarity, this isn’t necessary,” Twilight said, her voice strained, obviously trying hard not to look at the ponies staring. “I appreciate it, but I just want to go home now.”
“Go home? And do what?” Rarity asked, side-eyeing the unicorn and offering a smile somewhere between scolding and playful. “Sit and mope about? Tsk! That’s my style, darling, not yours.”
Twilight’s ears dropped. “Rarity…”
Rarity finally lowered her hoof. “Just one meal, Twilight. Please? Won’t you let me keep my promise? So one of my dearest friends goes home with a smile?”
Twilight seemed intent on protesting, but just as she was about to do so, the waiter arrived.
“Hello, and welcome to ‘Equestrian Delicacies’,” he said, unaware of the answer hanging in the balance. “May I take your order?”
Twilight looked back and forth between Rarity and the waiter, closing her mouth and furrowing her brow. Despite Rarity’s magnificent attempts at fluttering her eyelashes into getting a yes, Twilight’s expression made her answer clear.
“Rarity,” she sternly said, and Rarity’s ears started to lower until Twilight softly smiled. “Why don’t you order for us?”
“Oh! Oh, yes, I will!” she said, flashing the waiter a smile and doing so by ordering the most expensive items on the menu.
Twilight protested, of course, but that was simply because she did not understand the proper method of moping. Sure, this might cost Rarity a few nights at the spa, but it was nicer to eat your woes away with a full-course meal than a simple daisy sandwich.
Once the waiter left, Rarity turned back to Twilight.
“Rarity, I didn’t bring enough bits for—”
Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“And? I fail to see the problem, darling. You’re my date, therefore I shall be paying for our meals,” she replied, and when Twilight opened her mouth again, she continued, “I insist.”
Twilight pursed her lips, but whatever fight she had left in her petered out. “This isn’t at all how I thought the date would turn out,” she said instead, using her hoof to smooth out the wrinkles in the mantlepiece.
“I know,” Rarity replied, placing her hoof atop Twilight’s and smiling sympathetically, “but you and I know that things don’t often turn out the way we want.”
“But I did everything just like my book said!” Twilight protested. “And like you told me to do! I got here early but waited until eight-thirty so I wouldn’t look eager, I asked for the table, I… What do you think happened?”
“Well, even if I personally believe that nothing can possibly excuse treating my best friend like this, perhaps she got caught up with a very important matter? For all we know, she might be here in less than five minutes,” Rarity suggested.
“What if she regretted dat—”
“You know what I think happened?” Rarity interrupted, smiling at the waiter when he left two glasses of wine on the table. She took one in her hoof, and as she swirled the liquid around, continued, “I think she realized she was simply not worthy of you.”
Twilight snorted. “Right.”
“I’m serious, Twilight. I don’t see how you’d find my statement funny,” Rarity replied, raising an eyebrow. She certainly found her friend’s low self-esteem nothing to laugh about. “You are the personal student of Princess Celestia herself, you are more cultivated than all of Ponyville combined, you’re one of the most magically gifted unicorns I know, and one of the smartest ones, too. You are a very rare catch, Twilight.”
“No, I’m not,” Twilight weakly protested, the blush on her cheeks betraying her real feelings at having been praised. “But thank you for saying so.”
“Of course you are!” Rarity insisted. “You think I’d be sitting here if you weren’t? I’ll have you know I only date the very best! In fact, the reason I was so fashionably late tonight was because I simply couldn’t stop telling absolutely everypony how lucky I am to be dating you!”
Twilight giggled, taking her glass of wine.
“I’m flattered, then,” she said, taking a sip of the beverage. The sound of distant doors opening distracted her, and Rarity felt bad at seeing how quickly Twilight turned around to see if her date had arrived. At being disappointed again, she turned back towards Rarity and sighed, her ears flopping down.
“Did you like her very much?”
Twilight didn’t reply initially, her gaze lost inside her glass.
“Well, according to my notes, she and I were compatible in almost every aspect. We both enjoy extensive reading, and her family upbringing resembles mine. There’s also our astrological fortune matching perfectly, according to the magazines you gave me, though I admittedly wonder about the validity of Fabulous Mare’s studies. I tried looking for sources to verify their claims, but I might have to travel to the offices in Manehattan for that. Anyway, the only thing we’re not compatible in is reproduction, but that can be fixed with a simple gender conversi—”
“Goodness, you really do go all out,” Rarity said, unable to hold back a teasing laugh. "Twilight, dating doesn't work like that. You can't just simply make a compatibility chart and expect everything else to fall into place like a puzzle. Sometimes the most incompatible of ponies fall in love, too. For all we know, maybe in a week you'll be begging me for a second date!" she added with a playful wink.
"I really doubt that, Rarity," Twilight said matter-of-factly, later smiling when an indignant Rarity harrumphed.
The gall of her!
"Pardon me, Twilight Sparkle, but I can charm anypony I want! In fact, do you even know how many romance novels there are out there where the main characters pretend to date and then fall in love?" Rarity protested, only belatedly realizing she was... fighting for her chance to woo her best friend? "In fact, tomorrow morning I'm lending you this wonderful book by Dusty Hooffull called 'Both Sides Now' and—"
"Okay, okay, I get it," Twilight said, waving Rarity off with her hoof and giggling. "I'm sorry, it's just weird to think about dating you. You're my best friend! I mean, technically speaking, your extensive knowledge on upper class society means that we share the same background to an extent, and my charts show that you and I are most compatible out of—"
"Your charts?" Rarity asked, blinking and then leaning in. "You've made compatibility charts of me?"
My, my, my, how fascinating.
The reaction was immediate, Twilight's cheeks turning bright pink. "What? No! I mean, yes, once, but—"
Rarity grinned devilishly, taking her glass of wine and swirling the liquid around. "Do you mean to tell me you've actually thought about us?" she asked, and oh, how she delighted in Twilight's mortified expression. "I must admit I never thought of swinging my door that way, but for you, my darling, I'm willing to give it a try!"
"Rarity! Don’t be silly!" Twilight gasped, leaning back in her chair and looking to her sides, as if afraid somepony had heard Rarity's outrageous remarks. "Rarity, that is not—! I was just—! I was just curious, okay?! I thought it would be interesting to—"
"So you have thought about it! Why, Twilight, I'm flattered! I can't blame you of course!" Rarity exclaimed with a haughty laugh, knowing she ought to stop her teasing of the poor unicorn but goodness, she was having so much fun! "Is that why you let me do your makeup? So you'd be to my liking? Oh, dearest, you shouldn't have!"
"Rarity, please..." the flustered mare whined, smacking her hoof against her face.
Rarity opened her mouth to continue her merciless attack, but the opening of the distant doors caught her attention instead. She lifted her hoof, waving to the newly entered patrons, and then smiled sympathetically as she said, "Twilight, I fear it's about to get better."
"Better?" Twilight asked, taking back her hoof. "What do you mea—"
"TWILIGHT!"
Rarity could only smile as Twilight stared at Pinkie in shock.
"Pinkie? What are you doing here? I thought you had a party!" Twilight asked, her previous mortification all but gone.
"Unfortunately," Rarity said, leaning back into her chair, "Pinkie had another much more important event so she had to cancel her party."
"Ohmygosh, Twilight!" Pinkie exclaimed, looking absolutely horrified. "I'm so so so so so super sorry I'm late for our date! I was so busy trying to make it perfect for you, I forgot to even come!" Before Twilight could even ask what was going on, Pinkie pulled up a chair and sat herself next to Rarity, whom she addressed next, "Okay, Rarity! You can go now so I can have my date."
"Your date?!" Rarity theatrically gasped, placing her hoof against her chest for good measure. "This is my date with Twilight, and I honestly don't know who you think you are barging in here in the middle of Twilight's confession of lo—"
"Hey! You can both beat it!" a third voice said, and it was now Rainbow Dash's turn to pull up a chair. "This is my date with Twilight! I just got here late to keep her on edge, y'know." She then grabbed a nearby menu and looked it over. "So, what kinda pizza do they serve at this joint?"
"Pizza?" Rarity said, raising an eyebrow. "You're going to order pizza at Ponyville's most elegant restaurant? Really?"
Rainbow Dash looked up at her friends and defensively added, "Hey, pizza is a great meal for mushy stuff! Besides, as I said, it's my date with Twi and she wants pizza. Right, Twi?"
"I… I…" Twilight said, eeping when a fourth chair pulled up besides her.
"Um… Actually… I'm dating Twilight," Fluttershy meekly added in a rehearsed voice, and Rarity wondered how much convincing the others had to do for her to join in on the little game. "If that's alright with you, Twilight!" she then quickly added.
Moments later, when Applejack appeared, Fluttershy quickly moved to the side, so as to let the farmer put the fifth and final chair.
"Sorry I'm late for our date, sugarcube!" Applejack apologized, taking off her hat and brushing a hoof through her mane. She then turned to the others and said, "Y'all can run home now, girls. It was mighty nice of you to keep Twi company, but she won't be needing you anymore."
"Well, I am not leaving! I was her date first, so I have priority! And might I add I’m not paying the meals of you four interlopers!" Rarity protested, initiating a string of similar protests from the other four mares.
It wasn't until they heard a sniffle that everypony immediately fell silent, the game screeching to a halt as they all turned to Twilight. The unicorn's face was buried in between her hooves, shielding her from view, and forcing the other five mares to exchange worried glances.
"Darling? Twilight, we're sorry if we upset you," Rarity quickly said, her playful tone disappearing. "I thought it might cheer you up if we were all here, so I asked Rainb—"
She fell silent when Twilight shook her head. It took a moment, but Twilight finally looked up, and though her eyes were certainly stained with tears, the smile on her face was met with a very relieved sigh.
"You girls..." she said, wiping her eyes, apparently at a loss for what to say. "Thank you."
Pinkie giggled. "Awww, you don't have to thank us, silly! We'll always be super happy to date you at the same time!" she exclaimed rather loudly, and the shocked gasp from a nearby elder couple made it hard for the six of them to contain their smiling.
Rainbow Dash, in fact, turned towards them and shamelessly exclaimed, "Aw, you're just jealous you’re not cool enough to have a personal harem!"
"Rainbow Dash!"
"So, that wasn't too bad, was it?"
Several hours later found the six friends trotting through the now empty streets of Ponyville after what Rarity considered to be the loveliest sixtuple date she'd ever had the privilege of organizing. The date itself, however, lovely though it was, could hardly compare to the even lovelier sight of a grinning Twilight, who'd just finished laughing at a joke Pinkie said.
"No, it wasn't too bad," Twilight conceded, trying in vain to wipe away her delighted smile,
"And to think you wanted to go home and mope about! Did you really think I'd allow that?" Rarity continued, shaking her head. "Twilight Sparkle, you truly are a very silly pony."
"I am not a silly pony," Twilight protested, playfully rolling her eyes.
"You know who's a meanie pony, though?" Pinkie said, trotting to catch up with the two unicorns. "That meanie pony that didn't show up!"
"Yeah!" Dash agreed, flying above them. "We should go to her house and kick her flank! That'll teach her for leaving our friend waiting!"
"I reckon there are better ways of dealing with that, Rainbow," Applejack replied.
"Yes," Fluttershy agreed. "Talking is always good and it's so much nicer to just tell her she was rude, instead of—"
"Talking is for wimps!" Rainbow insisted, crossing her arms. "You think we'd have stopped Discord by being nice to him and 'talking'? Pft, yeah right. Come on, Pinkie, let's go to your house to get the leftover cake! I have an idea!"
"Wait, Rainbow!" Twilight blurted out, but to no avail as the pegasus had already sped off in the general direction of Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie excitedly hopping behind. "Come back!"
"It's too late now, Sugar," Applejack said, patting Twilight on the back. She then gestured to Fluttershy. "Come on, Fluttershy. Let's see if we can round 'em up before Rainbow Dash can decorate somepony's house with frosting."
It wasn't until the two other mares had gone off in the direction Rainbow and Pinkie had left that Rarity realized Twilight was looking at her.
"Something wrong, darling?" she asked, continuing her leisurely trot. There was honestly no need to rush off and seek vengeance when Rainbow Dash would take care of it. Besides, cake frosting would stain her coat.
Twilight looked back and forth between Rarity and the distant path her friends had disappeared through. "They're not… Rainbow isn't really..."
Rarity giggled. "Don't worry. Your 'date' won't wake up to a house covered in cakes," Rarity reassured, regardless of the fact that she wasn't a hundred percent sure she was telling the truth. "I just hope she isn't expecting any discounts in Carousel Boutique anytime soon."
Twilight giggled. "Well… I guess I'll find out tomorrow what happened. Oh, by the way..." She reached into her saddlebag and took out a small box of breath mints. "Looks like I didn't need these in the end, so you can have them back."
Rarity gratefully accepted her mints back, and she had full intention of putting them back into her bag… that was, until she had a much better idea.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Twilight," Rarity said, coming to a stop as she magicked the box open and delicately put a mint inside her mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“Well…”
Fluttering her eyelashes and without allowing Twilight time to react, Rarity began to lean in.
Twilight's eyes flew open. "Rarity, wai—!" Her sentence drifted off when Rarity kissed her nose rather than the spot they both knew Twilight thought she'd kiss.
"There! Your kiss for our picture perfect date," Rarity exclaimed, delighting in Twilight's flushed expression. "I'm afraid that you won't get more than that until our second one~!"
"Pfft..." Twilight said, rolling her eyes and giggling.
"Why are you laughing? You liked our date, didn't you?" Rarity asked, dropping most of her playfulness.
Twilight blinked, taken aback. "Well, yes, but it wasn't a real date."
"It wasn't?"
"It… It was?" Twilight asked, clearly at a loss for what to do, a pink tinge appearing on her cheeks.
And now Rarity giggled, leaning in ever so slightly and saying, "You know, I've been dying to go to that Saddle Arabian restaurant that just opened up. I thought you should know." She then turned around and quickly trotted off. "Well, I must be off! Somepony ought to stop Rainbow Dash!"
"W-Wait, Rarity! What did you—! Was it a date or wasn't it a date?!"
Rarity looked back, fluttering her eyelashes. "That's for me to know, and you to spend the night pacing around your room thinking about~!"
"But—! Come back! Rarity!"
FIN
Author's Note
Big thanks to Cynewulf and GraveKeeper for prereading and bouncing ideas with me o: As always, I make mistakes so if you see any typo, lemme know (preferably via PM, please!).
