"It's Ad-VERT-iz-ment"

by Prince Conjure

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy, Rarity, Random, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Slice of Life
Length: 1024

Rarity tries to teach Applejack the proper way to speak.

Upon seeing an advertisement, Rarity and Applejack discuss the proper way to pronounce certain words.

Published 2016-06-24 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-24 22:40:01 UTC

"Well, I tried."

"Ah beg yer pardon?”

“Well, I’m just saying that you’re pronouncing it wrong.”

“Ah said it just as well as any other person, didn’t I?”

Rarity sighed. She wasn’t getting through to her friend. She glanced at the advertisement that she was standing in front of. It was just a small flyer hanging from a thumbtack stuck into a wooden pole. Right now, though, it was the topic of a debate between Rarity and Applejack.

“No, you did not,” said Rarity, trying to take it slowly. “The way you pronounced it was wrong. It is not Ad-ver-tise-ment. It is correctly pronounced as Ad-vert-iz-ment.”

“Ah heard ya using them funny words earlier,” said Applejack. “If ya wanna sound all fancy, then be mah guest. Just don’t try tah make me do tha same thing.”

“It is not fancy. In fact, I think it’s something even you can understand if you give it some effort.” Applejack looked as if Rarity said that she perferred oranges. “Besides, speaking properly is a part of being a human being.”

“What makes ya think tha way yer sayin’ it is correct?” retorted Applejack. “Ah could say that tha way Ah’m talking's tha correct way.”

“Nevertheless, it is unappealing the way you speak.”

“Maybe tah you.”

“And to all the guys around us as well.”

“What’re ya tryna say?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that I’ve noticed,” began Rarity. “But I’ve noticed that guys have found me more attractive than you.”

“And you’re sayin’ it’s ‘cause of tha way ah speak?” asked Applejack. “Some people would take offense tah that.”

“Oh, sorry,” said Rarity with a smirk. “I truly meant no offense.”

“Listen, Rarity,” said Applejack, annoyedly. “Ah’m goin’ tah help Rainbow Dash in her garage with her bike. Ah’m gonna have tah see ya later—”

“I’m… excuse me?” asked Rarity. “You’re going where to help Rainbow Dash?”

“Her garage,” repeated Applejack. “What, ya don’t understand basic English now?”

“It seems it is you who does not understand proper English,” retorted Rarity with a smirk. “See, what you are trying to say is Gah-ridge. Not guh-raj.”

“Ah… Ah see,” said Applejack. “So basically, ah’m gonna say whatever ah want to.”

“Hey guys!” said a fast approaching voice. Twilight—from the human world—came up to us, a smile plastered on her face. “What are you guys doing?”

“Oh, we were just sharing some simple small talk,” said Rarity. “In fact, I believe you could participate in it.”

“I have time for some small talk,” she said. “So, what is the topic of the conversation?”

“Ah’m tryna tell Rarity that it don’t matter how ya say somethin’,” said Applejack. “But she’s bein’ stubborn.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” said Twilight. “What do you mean?”

“Silly Applejack,” said Rarity. “She can’t understand you if you use your southern dialect.”

“Ya know, tha more ya talk, tha more ya inch tah racism.”

“When you look at this paper, what do you suppose it is?” Rarity pointed towards the paper swaying in the wind. Twilight looked at the paper for a few seconds then answered.

“A paper,” she said.

“Yes, but what kind of paper?”

“Looks like printer paper.”

“With what on it?”

“A business, it looks like.”

“A business doing what?”

“Selling quilts and sofas, it seems.” Rarity took a long breath and glanced at Applejack, who was snickering.

“Okay,” said Rarity. “What is this business doing? Not what is the business selling; that’s not what I asked. What is the business doing that caused this paper to circulate?” This way, it was impossible for a smart girl like Twilight to misinterpret.

“Oh, now I get it!” said Twilight, a smile returning to her face. “The business is obviously paying people to travel around town, delivering these flyers, so that they can promote their business to other people! Wow. I can’t believe I didn’t get it before.”

“So, uh,” said Applejack, seconds away from blowing up into hoots of laughter. “She won’t understand mah southern dialogue huh?“

“It’s dialect,” said Rarity, annoyedly.

“Correctin’ me ain’t gonna make ya right,” said Applejack, a large smile on her face.

“Anyway, Twilight,” said Rarity, returning to her normal state of affairs. “That long process was leading up to this one question. Do you—”

“Wait, what?” asked Twilight. “That long what was leading up to this one question? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I said that long process was leading up to this one question.” Rarity repeated. “Do you—”

“Why are you saying process so weirdly?” asked Twilight.

“That’s tha thing,” said answered Applejack. “She only talks in her proper English accent. That’s what she was tryin’ tah show ya here.” Applejack tapped the paper on the pole.

“I speak like a lady. Beats talking like a country bumpkin,” mumbled Rarity.

“Don’t walk in tha shadows, is all Ah’m sayin’,” responded Applejack. Twilight cleared her throat and caught both of their attention.

“Well, since you’re both so adamant about the way you speak, I shall set the record straight. It seems that Rarity is indeed correct when she says that ‘process’ is pronounced ‘Pro-cess’ and not like ’Prah-cess’—”

“Hah,” said Rarity.

“—However, speaking proper all the time is tiring, and is sometimes unnecessary. Many times, we’re just hanging about with friends or at a place where formal talk is seen as abnormal, or wrong—”

“Hah,” said Applejack, similarly to Rarity.

“—However, once again,” said Twilight. “There are also times where being informal is inappropriate. You should both talk in moderation with one another.”

Rarity and Applejack both looked at each other in unison. Through Twilight, they found that they could come to understand each other. Maybe, just maybe, they could learn to understand what the other stood for.

“We could,” said Rarity. “Or, we could not do that at all.”

“Yeah, Ah agree with that,” responded Applejack.

“Well,” said Twilight. “I tried.”

Author's Note

Let's agree to disagree.

Just in case, I would like to say I mean no offense to anyone or their accents. I'm just jealous 'cause I have that American accent.

Yeah, I know it isn't an accent, but I have it.