The Journals of Magical Rocket

by aricaitlyn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 6543

Who knew that a nightmarish black hole in your closet could lead to the magical land of Equestria?

My name is Ari and I was sucked into a black hole that suddenly appeared in my closet. This black hole led to Equestria, and this journal documents my experiences while living in pony society.

Wanna read the better version? Here it is!

Published 2012-06-26 06:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-23 21:09:26 UTC

Black Holes Suck

“Hurry up, Ari! We’re gonna miss it!”

“Alright, alright,” I shouted over the loud popping of the popcorn on the stove. I moved the pan a bit, making a bit of noise and causing the flames to flicker blue. With great caution, I grabbed the large pink bowl - my family’s popcorn bowl - and dumped the popcorn in. “Ivy, get in here!” I shouted, reaching for the salt and the butter.

I heard my bedroom door close. My best friend Ivy stepped out and made her way into the kitchen to help me prepare the popcorn. Ivy was a kind girl, but was practically my opposite. She had a clear face; I looked a bit like a pizza with eyeballs. Her hair was short, curly, and soft; mine was long, straight, and felt like a bundle of straw covered in rain. But we both got along, for whatever stupid reason. She’s like my soul mate, but not in the sense of a relationship. Ivy pulled the spice cabinet door open.

“What’re you looking for?” I asked.

“Onion powder,” she replied.

I made a face in disgust. Ivy returned the favor by sticking her tongue out. That’s another thing Ivy and I don’t have in common. She likes weird food combinations and I prefer to stick with what I know. Ever tried salt-and-vinegar chips with ketchup? Visit Ivy, and she’ll eat those all day, washing them down with a tall bottle of Faygo. My only exception for weird food combinations was our “group initiation“ snack of Hershey’s milk chocolate and nacho cheese, which was strangely delicious. But onion powder on popcorn was just one of the weirdest things I have ever heard of.

“Nah, let’s just have regular salt-and-butter popcorn. I don’t get that weird way you eat your foods,” I told her, putting a pat of butter - just a smidge - in the bowl. Ivy shrugged, her way of telling me she didn’t care at all.

“Now, shake the popcorn a little bit while I add the salt,” I said, handing her the bowl. Ivy began to shake, the popcorn getting its chance to fly for a second before falling again to reunite with its puffed comrades. Salt fell from the “sky”, raining on the popcorn parachute parade. In due time, the popcorn saw no use to jump for joy and instead remained on the ground, having been weighed down by the sodium-packed precipitation. I snickered a bit at my imagination running wild.

“I am so excited for the premiere,” Ivy squealed.

I nodded in agreement. “I’ve been waiting fifty years for this.”

“But…you’re fourteen.”

“I’ve still been waiting. The off-season for this show is enough to drive me effin‘ batty.” I put the bowl down on the table and reached into the fridge. I grabbed a can of Coke for myself and poured Ivy some of my father’s homemade iced tea into a cup. Ivy was a sucker for my dad’s tea. Ivy picked up the drinks and took them into my room. I followed, carrying the big bowl of popcorn. We sat down on my bed and dimmed the lights.

“You know, while you were taking a century and a half to make the popcorn, I decided to watch some of the new episode,” Ivy said casually.

“You what?!”

Ivy shrugged and repositioned herself in the bed. “Do you want to hear what happened?” Without getting an answer from me, she continued by giving me a bit of a synopsis of the new episode.

“Hush!” I shouted, throwing my hands over her mouth in retaliation. She giggled. Suddenly I felt something wet touch the palm of my hand. I threw my hand back in disgust, rekindling Ivy’s laughter.

“I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t hear anything!!” I shouted, throwing my hands over my ears. I curled myself into the fetal position and rolled off the bed.

Ivy continued to laugh. “But Twilight Sparkle - “

With expert speed, I jumped up and covered her mouth again. Then, remembering the horrible fate my action had brought before, I pulled my hands away.

That’s another thing, too. While Ivy and I may have our differences (and quite a few at that), we both love this TV show that’s really big on the Internet right now. It was around when we were kids, and we both showed interest in it then. But now, since we’re teens, it’s brought on new meaning to us. Can you guess what show it is?

It’s called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Alright, laugh all you want, but I am absolutely, 120% serious. It’s pretty awesome, but sometimes it makes me wish I was gone from this world. No, I’m not depressed or anything, but being a human is a slight bit, uh, obnoxious. The fictional land of Equestria, however, seems still and tranquil, the perfect place for me.

I looked down at my watch dramatically. “Oh, oh, oh, Ivy, oh…”

“What is it?”

“I think it’s tiiiiiime,” I moaned.

“Time for what?” She gasped. “Are you pregnant?!”

I laughed. “No, time for…PONIES!”

Ivy cheered and reached for the remote, but just as she extended her arm, the doors to my bedroom closet flung open, making a loud banging sound as they hit the wall. We both gasped. Ivy was convinced that her house was haunted, and I was beginning to wonder if, perhaps, these “spirits” of hers had taken a little road trip.

I stood up and walked towards the closet, getting a closer look. Instead of my usual clothes hanging in color order, there stood a portal. “Don’t go in there!” Ivy shouted, as if she were watching a horror movie. I shifted closer to the closet, jokingly trying to throw myself inside. “Don’t!” she repeated.

Without any previous notice, the portal sucked me in like a vacuum. “Ari!” Ivy’s shouts grew softer and softer as I fell further and further to what appeared to be my doom.

Breaking The News

I finally hit the ground, the impact knocking me unconscious.

When I woke, I realized that the ground I had fallen on was a patch of grass. I could tell that it was freshly cut, too, smelling sweetly of summer. I pulled myself up, my head still feeling heavy. I began to take a walk, trying to familiarize myself. If this was hell, it wasn’t so bad. It seemed vaguely familiar, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. To one side of the patch of grass was a paved pathway. The pathway led to…

“Canterlot Castle!” I shouted, standing up triumphantly. I began running down the path as quickly as I could. When I reached the castle, I knocked on the door, then pressed my ear to it to listen to the royals talk.

"Celestia, dear sister, could you please answer the door?"

"Luna, I'm a little busy. Why can't you get it?"

Luna cleared her throat, indicating that she was already preoccupied with something. I heard Celestia sigh in an annoyed way. "This is why we have guards." She sighed again, then hollered, "Guards, will you please open the door?"

I heard the deep voice of a man. "I've got it."

The door swung open quickly. The guard began to examine me closely. He cocked a black eyebrow, like the ponies in the show would do when they're skeptical. "Princess, there is a monkey at the front door! Should we let it in?"

I heard Celestia laugh from inside. "Sure, let me see."

The guard led me through the door, making sure that I was following him. I know monkeys may not be the most intelligent creatures, but he was seriously babying me. "Come on," he cooed, trotting backwards. "Right this way to see the pretty princess!"

I rolled my eyes and followed him into the castle's living room. Luna was playing an Xbox 360 and wearing a wireless headset. She turned her attention to me and waved slightly, controller in mid-air with her magic. I shyly waved back to the princess as the guard ushered me into a seat.

"Um...hello?" I said, remembering I could speak.

The ponies in the room gasped in unison. "It....talks?!" Celestia exclaimed.

"Yes, your Majesty," I replied. "I talk. I'm not a monkey, I am what is known as a 'human'." I began explaining what had happened. If possible, everypony's jaw would have hit the floor as I explained every little thing to them.

"So, I'm from this place called 'Earth'. Earth is inhabited by creatures like me, and, of course, the animals and plants you have here. And.."

I gulped, my voice cracking. Who knows what could happen when I broke this news to them? "You guys...are...on television."

Another gasp. I heard Luna drop her controller, then mutter a few swears under her breath as she picked it up. Celestia was the only one excited about this. "Oh, gosh! I'm on television!"

"Guys, calm down. It's not a big deal, really," I said to them. "But..."

Everypony looked at me, expecting terrible news. I just expected them to gasp obnoxiously again.

"...you're on a show for little girls, and grown men enjoy it."

Another over-dramatic gasp came from all of the ponies in the room.

Luna looked at me, her video game paused. "Sorry, but we were not expecting such news. Please, continue, so we may figure out why a 'human' is among us."

"Anyway, I am a fan of your show, but I'm a girl. The show was, in fact, made for girls," I continued.

“But you’re not a little girl,” Luna remarked, not even turning from her game.

I groaned. “Yes, I realize that.”

Celestia stood up on all fours. Without saying a word, she began to cast a spell on me, her horn glowing. I screamed, expecting to be suddenly transported elsewhere.

Her golden magic rays, which had created a dust, began to clear. The floor seemed a lot closer to me now, and it was all I saw when I looked down as opposed to my feet (and that was disappointing, I was wearing some kickin’ boots today).

I gasped. “What am I?”

Celestia smiled. “You’re a pony. You’ve got to be one of us if you’re planning on living in Equestria.”

“But…I don’t want to be a pony!”

I could see Celestia doing a bit of a shrug. It wasn’t as obvious, but it definitely gave me the same answer it did in the human world: “I don’t really care.”

They're Most Likely Your Sidekicks

I trotted out of the castle and took the train to Ponyville. Canterlot was definitely a nice town, but if the show’s portrayal of big-city folk was true, I wanted no part of that.

"This is stupid," I muttered, getting off the train. "I have friends as a human, so why couldn't I have brought them into Equestria with me?"

I pulled my head up, viewing my surroundings. Instead of the cartoon version of Ponyville, with street vendors and novelty shops this way and that, there were old, decaying buildings; small cottages; and dirty roads. It was pretty odd, yet peaceful in a strange way. For the moment being, all was quiet.

Suddenly, a blur of purple dashed towards me, slamming straight into my body. I tumbled to the ground, the pony who had crashed into me directly on top.

"I‘m sorry." The purple pony pulled herself up and shook off. "Practicing a new trick. You know how it goes."

I took a closer look at her. She wore glasses, just like me. Her coat was purple, and her mane was black, short, and crazy-curly, almost to a Pinkie Pie level. She didn't have her cutie mark, but she looked a little too old to be a blank flank. She reminded me of somebody I had met before, but who? "You're new here," she said to me, holding out her hoof for a friendly hoof-shake. "I've never seen you around. I sure hope we can be friends!" Her enthusiasm reminded me of somepony from the show. I thought for a minute. It was definitely Pinkie Pie.

"I'm Magical Rocket. What's your name?"

"I'm...IVY ART!" she exclaimed, a cartoony smile stretching across her face. "But you can just call me Ivy."

I grinned at her and shook her hoof politely. "Okay. Hello, Ivy."

Suddenly, a piece of paper was thrust in my face. It looked to me like a bubble with a face and hair. The shading was amazing, nothing I had ever seen, and the artist was able to blend crayon so beautifully. Such a childish art form had never seemed great to me, until now, of course. I was speechless. "Look at it!" a voice shouted from behind. I screamed.

"Oh, hey, Snoodle Guy!" Ivy Art said happily.

Snoodle Guy put his paper down. Behind the drawing was the cutest face I had ever seen on a colt. "Hi."

I blushed nervously and waved to him. "H-hi," I stuttered.

"I draw bubbles," he replied.

I smiled at him, trying (unsuccessfully!) to hide my feelings for him. I hadn't even been in this world for five minutes, and already a guy has caught my attention. "Cool. I d-draw ponies."

He looked at me oddly. "What? You do portraits?" He smiled and threw his front hooves into a crazy pose. "Could you draw me someday?"

I blushed again, my face feeling hotter. I fanned myself with my hoof. "Ponies? Did I say 'ponies'? I meant 'people'. Heh heh!"

An odd look spanned across his adorable pony-face. "Oh. Well, I hate people," he groaned.

I suddenly felt a rough pain on the scruff on my neck, like teeth cutting into my skin. I screamed and turned around. A blue pegasus pony with auburn hair was holding me by his teeth. I began to fight with him. "You hurt me, I'll hurt you!"

We both came out of the tussle with multiple scratches. A tear ran down his cheek and he began to cry. "Wh-why did you do that?!" he screamed, hitting me again with his hooves. I shook off his punches, praying that they wouldn't bruise.

"Hi, Gamer Strike!" Ivy exclaimed.

"Hey," he responded, pulling me up. I looked at him. He looked like a nice guy, strong yet fragile, and his cutie mark was a video game controller, sort of like the one Princess Luna was holding earlier.

Ivy Art introduced me. "Gamer, this is..." She paused and looked at me. "What's your name?"

"Magical Rocket." I said. I figured she would have remembered it by now. Hmm, perhaps a name tag would be a nice investment.

I heard somepony trotting in the distance. She was a soft shade of blue, her cutie mark was a flag, she wore big horn-rimmed glasses (everypony had glasses except for Gamer) and her hair was dirty blonde and done in that “emo“ hairstyle I had always wanted as a kid. "Hi, Ivy, Gamer, Snoodle, and...who are you?"

"Magical Rocket!" I exclaimed. Steam was practically coming out of my ears. The mare looked at me in shock, then turned her glance to a table of cupcakes that had come out of, well, nowhere. There was a note attached to it, the writing done in purple glitter ink.

She read it aloud. "To Selena. Here are some cupcakes. From Ivy Art. Well, okay, I guess I'll try one." She reached for a cupcake, only to be interrupted by Ivy's head popping out of the table and toppling over the cupcake tray.

"Hi, Selena!" Ivy shouted happily.

"Wait a minute, weren't you just next to me?"

Ivy popped up behind Selena, who jumped. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

I don't recall what exactly happened after that. Ivy must have signaled something, and everypony trotted off.

I Fear For My Life

I began to trot towards a familiar place: Sugar Cube Corner. In the cartoon, that's where Pinkie Pie lives and works. The bakery was designed to look like a gigantic pastry. Pinkie’s bedroom was at the top “tier” of the “cake“. But now, it looked grungy and empty and mundane. The familiar pink of the exterior had faded, and the "cupcake" was missing a few tiers. I pushed the door open lightly. It creaked open, then fell to the floor with a bang.

"Hello? Anypony home?" I asked, feeling my way through the darkness. Corners of the walls had become cobwebby. Spiders, among other creatures, crawled along the floor. The once-shiny pots and pans in the kitchen were coated in a thick layer of carrot-orange rust. The paint chipped, and the wallpaper peeled. It was absolutely horrifying seeing the fate of a beautiful place I once knew.

I sniffed the air and smelled cupcakes. Yummy and fresh cupcakes, topped with strawberry frosting. I followed my nose, which led me into the basement. I shuddered suddenly, remembering that horrible things always happened in basements, like the infamous Cupcakes. I shuddered again, but this was more like a pained shiver. This place was freezing, and I was sure that my number had come up. I began praying to God (uh, Celestia) that my life wouldn't end tonight, on my very first day here.

I used my new-found unicorn magic to flicker a light as I trotted down the stairs. The basement was in much worse condition than the top floor of the building. A table sat in the center of the room, but instead of surgical tools like I expected, there was a tray of cupcakes, just waiting for me. I turned my attention to a note taped to the plate, written in purple glitter ink.

Dear Magical Rocket, these cupcakes are for you. I sure hope you like strawberry frosting! From Ivy Art.

Something about this situation was very...dejâ-vu. I shrugged it off and took a bite out of one of the cupcakes. The cake was scrumptious and moist; the frosting was thick and melted in my mouth, but there was something familiar about these cupcakes.

Then I remembered.

I had strawberry-frosted chocolate cupcakes for my twelfth birthday, when I was still a human. They had plastic Pinkie Pie rings on them. Surprisingly, these memories were strong and vivid, almost like they had just happened yesterday. Yet, the feeling of dejâ-vu had suddenly doubled, with more memories of what had just happened today floating to the surface. Haven't I seen this exact scenario before, in this world, on another pony?

Suddenly, the tray of cupcakes toppled to the floor. Ivy Art's head appeared through a hole in the table. "SURPRISE!"

I screamed and dropped my half-eaten cupcake onto the nasty floor. Two spiders and a rat began to scarf it down. Ivy flew out from under the table and pulled a blindfold onto my face.

"Ivy, what are you doing?"

She grinned at me. But, of course, I couldn't tell or know that she was. The enthusiasm was all in her voice. "It's a surprise! Follow me!" She lifted me under the arms and began to fly.

Ivy Art finally got me upstairs. I wanted to trot or teleport, but no, she stuck to dragging me up the stairs, which was a slow and painful procedure.

Once I got up into the bedroom, I was greeted by another loud "SURPRISE!" But it wasn't just from Ivy, it was from everypony. My head began to ache. For whatever reason, the blood was just rushing to my head.

Ivy put me on the ground, but it was more like a toss. I landed on my back. My mane grew sticky, like I had stepped in some gum. I used my magic to remove the blindfold and discovered that I was glued to the floor in a lying-down position. Ivy Art had glued herself to the ceiling.

"Why are you upside down?" I asked her.

She giggled. "I'm not upside down. You are!"

I used my magic to clean up the gluey mess, and found that everypony was glued to the floor.

I groaned at Ivy. "What was that?! You do realize that was a dangerous and stupid thing to do, right?"

She smiled and brushed it off like nothing. "It was a papier-mâché party! That's why Snoodle's in a banana costume-"

She gestured to Snoodle Guy, who was indeed wearing a banana costume made from sticky newspapers and cardboard. I heard a muffled "Hello" from him.

"-and why we were all glued to the floor!" she finished.

"Well, why?"

She did a flip in mid-air, then flew closer to me. I could smell her breath; she ate something sweet for breakfast. "For you! To welcome you to Ponyville!"

Ivy landed on the ground gracefully and preened her wings. A dab of glue was on her flank, as well as in her mane, on her glasses, and everywhere else.

"What's that on your butt?" I asked her.

She began to clean the glue, spitting on her hoof and rubbing it. I gasped. A picture of a pencil drawing a curved line was under the glue! "You got your cutie mark!" I exclaimed.

“Really?” Ivy looked. “Oh my Celestia!”

Pony, You're A Firework!

"I still can't believe my special talent is art!" Ivy babbled. "I mean, I knew I was good at art, but I never thought it would end up being my special talent! And here it is, my cutie mark!" She turned her flank to where I could see the mark.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "I still can't believe it, either. Now, keep an eye out for the market."

“M’kay.”

Suddenly, I heard a loud noise, like something fizzing then bursting. I looked up and saw a beautiful blast of color. It sparkled, and it was probably the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. "Wow!"

"Do you like fireworks?" Ivy Art asked me.

"Yes!" I shouted happily. I made my way over to the stallion lighting the fireworks and looked at him with my big pony eyes. "Can I...? Please...?"

"Sure," he replied. "But I think you should fix your mane. I know how mares can be about their looks."

"Okay." I patted down my cowlick, then used a magic spell to create a firework in the shape of a sun. Princess Celestia's cutie mark.

The stallion looked at the sky and wondered in amazement. "Whoa, how did you do that?"

I shrugged. "It's just magic." I made another firework appear in the shape of a rocket.

"I think I'll stick with the traditional way," he muttered, glancing towards his bin of unlit explosives. He pulled out a match from hammerspace.

Silly me, I trotted over to the next firework he lit, and my leg got caught! I screamed as the giant firework went up into the sky. Without thinking, I began to kick my legs up in a frenzy, almost like I was swimming. (I was no good at swimming.)

I finally gave up my idiotic flailing. It would get me nowhere except maybe death. I wrapped my entire body around the base of the firework, afraid to get caught in the explosion. I began writing out my final will in my head. I'm leaving Ivy Art in charge of the bakery, Snoodle Guy could have my sketchbook, y’know, if I ever bought one...

Ivy Art began flying over to me as fast as she could. "I'm coming!"

But I came up with an absolutely brilliant solution. I let go of the firework just as it exploded in the sky. Why hadn’t I thought of that before?

"Good job!" Ivy Art exclaimed from the sky.

I was falling to my doom now. Ivy caught me in midair. I used another spell to create a protective bubble around us. We floated to the ground safely.

The stallion who had been lighting fireworks trotted over to me in a panic. "Are you okay?"

I dusted myself off. "I'm fine. And I'm sorry if I ruined this display of yours, sir."

"You've got to be more careful, miss. You could've gotten hurt." He put his hoof on my head.

"I know, sir, and again, I'm really sorry. But I learned something during all of this: I really like fireworks. A lot."

He nodded and smiled. "You said it! But I really think you should wash up. I know how mares can be about their looks."

Ivy Art and I began trotting around town, looking for a place to stay. Our eyes were fixed on Sugar Cube Corner, the place she had led me into for my surprise.

"Ivy?"

She turned her head my direction. "Oh, what?"

"Why is the pastry place so...musty and old?"

Her pupils got a little bigger. "The original owners passed away years ago. You heard of Mr. and Mrs. Cake? My mom was good friends with those two. When I was a little filly, she'd bring home slices of pie and fresh-baked cupcakes for us to share. The Cakes' kids grew up and moved to Canterlot. Pumpkin Cake became a scholar and Pound Cake joined the Wonderbolts. The Cakes also had an orphaned pony staying with them. Her name was Pinkie Pie. She rented out the top floor to live in and-"

I cut her off. "I know that!"

She shot me a confused look. "How do you know that?" She paused and looked at me dramatically. "Are you a spy?"

"No, I've just...been around," I said nervously.

We stepped through the door of the old bakery. I immediately trotted into the washroom and used my magic to clean up myself with a towel. There was some dirt on my flank, so I really scrubbed at it, and beneath that grime was something unrecognizable. It was a reddish mark of some sort that ran all the way down my leg. I considered poking at it, but if it was a wound, it would have been wise to care for it.

Ivy banged on the door. "You done yet?" I hadn't realized she needed to clean up, too.

"Yeah." I opened the door, all clean and sanitary and stuff. "We should buy some food and maybe invite everypony else in if we're gonna live here."

Ivy gasped and pointed at my flank. "You've got your cutie mark!"

I looked for myself. “Aw, yeah! That’s awesome!”

Rainstorms and Mix-Ups

If you think running on two legs is hard, you should really consider doubling up. By that, I mean using four legs, like a pony. You've got to figure out how to divide your weight as evenly as possible on your four legs or you'll just fall flat on your face over and over again. I had to learn how to walk again once I got here. I've got it down pat, but running is still a challenge. Trying to balance yourself at that sort of a pace is really exhausting.

My sky-high pegasus friends sure were lucky, though. Gamer Strike and Ivy Art blasted through the sky gracefully. I focused on Ivy Art, the fastest of the two. She soared through the sky, leaving what looked like graphite pencil streaks.

I heard a clap of thunder. Not even a minute later, rain began to fall.

Ivy and Gamer knocked on the door of the bakery. I trotted to the door and opened it for them. "It's not a race, you two," I joked.

They replied with blank, expressionless poker faces.

"Uh, never mind." I turned my attention to Ivy Art, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We both exclaimed, "SLEEPOVER!" and performed a "brohoof".

Gamer groaned, shaking his head. "No. I hate girly things.”

9:15 P.M., PT (Ponyville Time)

That green face-mask junk was on our faces, and we had cucumber slices in our eyes. Normally, I would have asked what the heck this was for, but I remember Rarity saying that it’s to reduce the puffiness around the eyes. Gamer sat on the floor, pouting.

10:36 P.M., PT (Ponyville Time)

Gamer had bored himself to sleep, so Ivy Art and I gave each other makeovers and styled our manes. I gave Ivy Art fake eyelashes and lipstick, and she did some crazy makeup on my face. We both laughed when we saw ourselves in the mirror. We even slipped some mascara onto Gamer's lashes, hoping he would wake up and not even notice it.

11:56 P.M., PT (Ponyville Time)

Ivy Art found two large bottles of soda in the fridge, which was quite a treat. She also baked two batches of brownies, which were very delicious and chewy. We indulged on our sugary treats, getting more hyper and crazy by the minute.

1:13 A.M., PT (Ponyville Time)

We had finally fallen asleep on the floor. Gamer snored loudly, and Ivy kicked. I lay restless, feeling like every minute was an hour. I was still all hopped up on sugar and just uncomfortable in general. I closed my eyes and began to sleep a dreamless, conscious slumber.

In conclusion, I guess we've had better ideas.

I woke up in a cold sweat and looked at the digital clock. It was 7:00 A.M. I began trotting downstairs, almost ninja-like, to fix breakfast.

Ivy Art stretched and woke up in a grumpy mood. "Why do you have to be so loud?" she yell-whispered to me.

"Well, I was trying to be as quiet as Fluttershy when I got up!" I yell-whispered back.

"What's a Fluttershy?"

"Ugh. Never mind that! Come help me fix breakfast!"

Gamer got up behind us. "What's up, loudmouths?"

"Really? You couldn't have stayed there for five minutes?" I asked him, cutting out my yell-whispering.

"Yeah, really. You two are so loud!" he replied, getting off the floor. We began to head to the kitchen when we heard a woman scream, the kind of scream that could have shattered a glass.

"It's Snoodle Guy!" I began running full-force up the stairs and all the way into the attic.

"Snoodle Guy, are you alr-" I looked at him and screamed. "Y-you're an earth pony!"

"I know!" he screamed back. "It's just...so....weird!" Then he pointed to my forehead, screamed once more, and began running down the stairs squealing like a little girl who was being chased. I followed him at a steady pace to the kitchen, where Ivy Art, Gamer Strike, and Selena were. I noticed something really odd about them. Ivy, Gamer, and Selena were completely stripped of their powers!

I shook my head, trying to figure out what was going on here. "Snoodle, be my mirror," I said. He turned to face me, and stuck his tongue out in disgust. "What? Is something wrong?" I asked. He gestured to my forehead again and nodded. I touched my hoof to my forehead when I realized that...

MY HORN WAS GONE!

That Strange Guest (Things Have Changed)

I ran out of the building screaming. The street merchants and villagers I passed looked at me, probably thinking, "This chick belongs in the nuthouse."

I finally began to slow myself to a steady trot. I took a few deep breaths, trying to get a good grasp on the situation. My throat was completely dry and my lungs felt like popped balloons.

Okay. The powers that me and my friends once had were gone. I have no idea what could have caused this. I remembered learning about DNA mutations in science, how certain environmental changes can lead to trouble in the human body. But then I remembered: We're not humans. Crap. I guess my fact-based logic was useless now.

I headed back to Sugar Cube Corner. If I still had my powers, I could have teleported there, but no, I just had to be an earth pony now.

I opened the door, revealing all of my friends still freaking out. "Guys?" I asked, using my inside voice.

"Guys? GUYS!"

The kitchen got quiet.

"Thank you." I raised myself up onto the kitchen counter. "Now, as we all know, our powers are gone. As long as we can get it under contr-"

Suddenly, the kitchen began to quake. "What was that?" Snoodle Guy squeaked.

"I don't know." I leaped down from the counter, which had become my temporary pedestal, and peered out the window. A tall, humanoid figure was moving closer and closer to us. "Guys, come look at this!"

Everypony got up and looked out the window along with me. The creature saw us staring, and it gave us the evil eye. We all ducked down so that it couldn't see us.
Not even one second later, there was a knock at the door. Gamer Strike opened it, revealing the creature. After a closer look, I saw that it had a robotic hand; two completely shredded and stitched-up hooves; a thin human leg; a tattered "I'm With Stupid" shirt; a spiked collar, like a dog's; and two sets of ears, the pony ears pretty much torn to shreds. It had the wings and horn similar in style to a changeling, and it was bipedal, just like I was when I was a human. One of her eyes was covered completely by her blond mane, and she had the same kind of nose I used to have.

"Hello," she said, her voice loud and shrill. "My name is Tara Blee."

We welcomed her inside like the nice ponies we are and offered her some grass pancakes. "No thank you. I already ate," she replied cheerfully. She took a seat at one of the barstools in the house. I sat down close to her and began making small talk with her. "I'm Magical Rocket, and these are my friends. Tara, meet Snoodle Guy, Gamer Strike, Ivy Art, and Selena." The ponies standing behind me waved nervously.

"Well, it's very nice to meet you all." She smiled and adjusted her mane with her robotic claw. "I just moved here and I need some place to crash." Tara casually looked around the bakery for some free space, then added, "I-I mean, if that's fine with you, of course."

I nodded in response. "I'm sure we could fit all of Ponyville in this bakery with plenty of space to spare-"

"-because Ponyville's almost a ghost town," Tara interrupted.

"Yep. Snoodle, I hope you don't mind giving up your bed for the night."

He gasped. "What?! No way I'm giving my bed up to that freak!"

"Hey! Be nice to our guest!" I turned to Tara and blushed, embarrassed. "I am so sorry about him."

She nodded, bit her lip, and held her head down. I swear she was crying. "It's fine. I'll just find a broken, splintering park bench. It'll be thundering tonight, y'know, and the bench has metal bars on it. But electroshock is more fun than…a barrel of monkeys." Tara began walking out the door of the bakery, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Yeah, that'd be good," Snoodle Guy grinned.

I glared at him. "Tara, please stay."

She pulled her head up and grinned, the tears completely dry. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm sure we've got a spare mattress somewhere..."

Good Night, Magical Rocket

The night we met Tara was a restless one. We heard her rustling awake every five minutes, and then we heard the toilet flush afterwards. I suppose creatures like her have really small bladders, or she's just in the business of raising our water bill to the hundreds.

Or maybe Snoodle Guy was right to have his suspicions about her.

No.

Wait.

Snoodle was being a total jerk! Tara did seem nice, but also a bit melodramatic.

But it does seem a little off that she showed up right after our powers were switched.

Maybe she had something to do with it.

Anyway, this morning I got up at about 3 A.M. and stumbled into the bathroom to, you know, do my business. The door creaked open and I could see Tara in there, standing over the toilet with an absolutely diabolical smirk on her face. She wasn't vomiting or doing anything disgusting. It was much worse. She was flushing our valuables down the toilet, and by that, I mean our wings and horns! But silly me, being the half-asleep pony I was, assumed it was just another one of my crazy dreams and fell asleep on the carpet. In my sleep, I'm sure that I heard the toilet flush yet again and Tara saying, "Good night, Magical Rocket. It won't be good anymore when I'm around."

In my actual slumber (we're talking Rapid-Eye Movement, people), Princess Luna appeared. I know it's her duty to visit dreams, but I never realized that she'd visit my dreams sometime. I only expected that sort of thing in the human world because I tend to have dreams that make no sense, but are always strung together like a story of sorts. In the dream, she told me to find the princess of light and forget the princess of night. I immediately shot up and began to think on that. It was 8:07 a.m. I stepped into the kitchen and put toast in the toaster. I considered making fried eggs for everypony, but then I remembered what Tara was doing last night. A thief and liar like that doesn't deserve eggs or toast. She deserves to sleep out in a thunderstorm, just like she mentioned the other day. Heck, she deserves worse, but most everything I wanted for her would land me in the Ponyville Penitentiary, a jail that‘s anything but sugar and spice. I shrugged it off and recalled that I was a sleep-zombie who was probably just dreaming.

The sun outside the kitchen windows seemed brighter. The light was so powerful that I felt no need to even flick a light switch on.

Then it dawned on me. Light = Princess Celestia. That means she is the princess of light. And Luna clearly presides over night, so, yeah, we'll just forget about her. But what exactly did all of that crazy stuff mean? I kept thinking about it all morning, as I fried the eggs, buttered the toast, and woke my friends up.

Author's Note

I'm finally finished with this story! Who knew that listening to Paramore for three hours straight could get you completely pumped to finish a fanfiction!

Well, this was originally a comic written by my friend Ivy Art (she's on FimFic, too) in the sixth grade. I thought I would expand it a little, explaining into more detail about how and why Magical Rocket's friends all had their powers switched around. Well, this is a better explanation than my cat could have come up with. That cat's a dummy.

Now to start a new story....Any ideas that haven't been done to death? I don't want to be beating a dead horse.

If you want another good humanized MLP read by the same author *rocketslug gestures to herself*, try "My Little Crazies". It's short, it's nonsensical, and it's the same genre and rating.

Now to bug EQD about having this on their website. *mumbles something rude about Sethisto under breath*

Stay brony, my friends.

~RocketSlug

P.S.: NO SEQUELS.