Author's Note

Okay, little heads up - any and all of the things being referenced here on out all still belong to their respective owners and companies, and I don't intend to usurp ownership of them either. I'm just making a story here. And BTW, the color codings for the speech are all still the same, so not to confuse the lot of y'all.

And... oh yeah, sorry 'bout takin' so long again. And expect these kinds of sorry's quite a lot here.

And in advance... spread the good word of the story, will ya? Knowing you guys read this is one of the reasons this still runs.

-☯

Chapter 6: Aether Rising, Part 2: I Get a Little Bit Bigger, But Then...

Chronicles of Hope: Book 1: A Guardian’s Rising

Chapter 6: Aether Rising, Part 2 – I Get A Little Bit Bigger, But Then…

Location: Whitetail Woods

Already a few hours later, they were nearing towards their destination… or at least, the area where their intended endpoint was to be, as Sam had no clue where to start looking, as the forest was vast – and while his castle was equally big enough to cover the majority of the forest, he had no idea where to start looking for any conveniently-placed entrances going underground. So he had the general area down, but just not how to get there. Luckily, from what he remembered from the notes he collated in the book, he’ll find it sooner or later, especially with a lot of help.

The girls weren’t faring too OK either, as they were blindly about to follow him into a circle the second they walked into the forest, and were merely passing time on their own instances as they walked along. Twilight had been reading Cree’s journal, hoping to help their quest go further than wandering in the forest soon. Rainbow had taken to picking around with a utility knife she snagged from her pack, fiddling with the multiple functions on the knife. Pinkie had been recording their every movements with the camera she’d taken to lugging around, occasionally adding random anecdotes as time went along. Fluttershy was determined and excited (deter-cited? IDFK) as she planned out the things she would do when meeting the new animals, although bringing up the hopes that it won’t end up the same as the Gala a long time ago. Rarity had been silently brainstorming what she would be able to come up with for this year’s trendsetting new line, and wondered if seeing Aether might really help fuel her creativity. Applejack had been taking to being the one to keep an eye on the CMC, while the trio in question tended to wander off to various spots that had great views of the landscapes, which indirectly caused the group to slow down, but thankfully, a lot of them took it as times of rest. Spike was foremost the most grateful for these rest stops, as while his somewhat limber body has long adapted to lifting heavy loads thanks to Twilight having him carry so many books, he had yet to build up enough stamina, more or less.

Eventually, after another couple of hours of walking, they made it to a clearing in the woods, setting base up there.

“OK everybody, we’re here – Whitetail Woods, home to goodness knows what and an opportunity to find a long, lost relic!”

“That’s great, Cree. But, there’s something to bring up – how are we going to find this lost relic?”

“Glad you asked, Twi – which is why I took the liberty of having these bought along for the trip!”

Going through his bags, he pulls out many cheap but sturdy compasses, which, for some reason, seem to all be spinning on their own accord. The girls and Spike took all of this with interest.

“As you’ve noticed, these little guys are all going haywire, and while most assume that this is the work of magnets underground, it’s actually due to the leftover ambient magic used to formerly power the castle, and that is a lot of magic being used. Now, to find the entrance, I intended to circle around here and there looking for the entrance until I got tired, but with you all here, the search might go a lot faster! Everyone, grab a compass and split up individually.”

With all said, everyone then grabbed a compass and spread out, but not before Cree stopped them for a final say.

“Oh yeah, by the way, from what I estimated from the diagrams, the range of where we should look should be from the center of the clearing to the border of where the forest gets thicker.”

“At least that cuts off most of the workload. But that’s still a big chunk of the forest to examine.”

“This is where the ambience is the strongest, and where its interference on the compasses gets stronger, that’s where a moreover direct connection between the ambient magic’s origin and the outside world is most open.”

“Um… In English, please?”

“…Just find the place where the compass spins the fastest, and then we’ll look further to find a cave – that’s why the compass gets even more screwed up thanks to the direct flood of magic. Just be careful that the spinning doesn’t get strong enough for it to fly out of the casing, or something.”

Thanks to the simplified explanation, they got the gist and got right to work.

Meanwhile…

Location: Celestia’s Room, Canterlot

Celestia had been worrying endlessly in her room ever since last week – to think that Newman had gained the opportunity to break out of his prison was strong enough to send her fears throttling through the roof. She was also feeling massive guilt, as she had a massive hand in a big crime that could harm everything that she worked hard to keep – order, faith, and so many other levels of peace she had kept for so long.

If Sam let loose about his news, everything she slaved away for would be burnt to the ground… but that wasn’t the biggest worry on her mind, as she was moreover worried about Luna.

When Luna came back, the first thing she asked about was regarding Sam and Aether, and when she heard about what she had done… Luna never talked to her for so long, leading her to lock herself in solitude for so long until she began to talk to her again. Even when she said that all she did was to bring her back, it was all for naught as she felt every life she took back at that day suddenly haunt her in her dreams, and Luna wasn’t there to help calm it, as she was still in recovery back then.

In other words, she mustn’t let Newman spill, in fear of losing what family she has left to her crimes.

And now, after a couple of days of recovery from the shock, and after corralling a special sect of the guard for the eventual confrontation, she’s been breaking her back trying to find a lead, in hopes that she could track down Sam before he does something drastic, especially as he’s known for doing so with reckless abandon.

As thoughts and calculation flew across her head, her Aerial Espionage specialist, Corporal Silent Sky, had entered the room, giving out a new report on the “wanderer”. She had Sky secretly follow the currently unknown griffon as he spent time around the Elements, tracking every single move he made from the background, hence why the pegasus wasn’t entailed in the earlier chapters.

“Ah, Corporal. Any new updates on the griffon’s activities?”

“Yes, Princess. Apparently, the griffon had coerced the Elements into going on an expedition to the Whitetail Woods. I wasn’t able to clearly hear why, but it was clearly important enough to the griffon.”

“Excellent. I thank you for this information. You’re dismissed until further notice.”

Wordlessly nodding, the pegasus leaves the room, leaving the solar alicorn to her own occupations.

Whitetail, huh? So he must be trying to bring back Aether. I can’t let him do it, but I can’t endanger the Elements in any crossfire either, especially as he’s still in disguise, and if I attack him then, it’ll look like I’m killing an innocent. Best option is to wait out whatever he’s doing until he either reveals himself, or when something happens that endangers the Elements. Either way, I have to go. Soon.

Back to the search…

Over the past 2-and-a-half hours, the gang have barely found any change in their compasses. Even Pinkie was getting antsy with how slow this was getting.

Seriously – So. Fucking. SLOW.

Like, processing in the DMV would be faster than this shit.

But, thanks to the power of plot convenience, this happens.

“Guys! We got something!”

“Yeah, our compasses our doing that spinny thing!”

Darting to, then running over, to the location of the CMC, they all also noticed that as they got closer to the trio, their compasses also got faster, and finally reaching them eventually caused the needles to be an outright blur. Finally getting closer to the intended goal bought the hopes of the group to an all-time high, especially Sam, who takes the lead, walking further from their current position, seeing that the compass goes faster and faster, hearing a buzz that’s suddenly getting louder and louder as he went forward, eventually staying on a specific speed when he stopped… in front of an unnaturally-formed cavern opening, the deep part of the inside lined with a shining light with a light turquoise hue emanating from the bowels of the cave.

Pocketing the compasses, Cree eagerly looks into the depths, and then turns back to the group.

“Let’s get our bags – we’re goin’ in.”

Over the next few minutes, they did just that, and stepped into the cave, following the light to its source.

And after a tedious trek through the tunnel, what they saw was breathtaking. (Play Music)

Under the earth was a trail of great pillar arches, illuminated at the top by the turquoise light which filled the whole cavern, and its wide stone brick path led to a colossal castle, the front of the castle greeting them while the rest of the castle was buried under more earth, the white of the quartz used to make the exterior long covered by vinery growing from the grass but not dirtied by the soil and stone from up top, a gorgeous fountain with an alicorn figure pouring water from a floating orb over its head embroidering the front of the gate, where the symbol on Cree’s journal rested smack dab in the middle of the door, which they now realize must be the Aetherian sigil. If what they saw was real, then most likely, this whole castle could cover the entirety of the Whitetail Woods!

As they walked along the stone-laid path, they all had the liberty of taking in the sights, everyone slowly walking, leaving very little time for blinking, as though they didn’t want the view to break away, and especially Rarity, whose sketchpad was surrounded by the cool-blue aura of her magic as she began scribbling new designs – I guess Sam wasn’t bullshitting when he said it helped inspire others after all.

As they made it to the gate, an inscription suddenly glows white on the arch of the gate, the words somehow written in a language they never heard of, but the word and its meaning suddenly bounce to them clearly in their heads.

Velis relinquere omnibus desperandum, per quas ingredieris huc, et vivunt in spe.

Abandon all despair, ye who enter here, and live in hope.

Oh yeah, I remember that – it was fun to set that up on the gate.

As the words rung through their heads, they felt a sea of calm wash over them as the gate gave way and opened, as if the words themselves assured them that no harm would come to them in the castle.

Well… it was half right. (End Music)

The lobby hall inside of the castle was much more regal than that in Canterlot Castle, but it felt more like a home away from home rather than an ordinary castle – aside, of course, from the various weapons on display: swords, hammers, axes – the works, and all in a wide variety from menacing to outright bizarre. Any lights present were only the dim light from magic-fueled flames in the halls nearby, and any other décor present was no doubt the paintings that hung from the walls, all with vivid colors and violent brushstrokes gracing and blending into the canvas. As they prepared to advance into the rest of the castle, a sudden small window of blue appeared in front of the group. Before their minds were able to register what it was, a synthetic female voice rang from the window.

“Welcome, visitors. Please present your CID Card for scanning.”

At that point, everyone was looking to each other. ‘What the hay is a CID Card?’ they all thought. Until, they heard a sigh from their griffon guide as a smile wormed onto his face.

“Of course I’d need that. At least we don’t have to fight our way in,” he says, before reaching into his satchel and taking out a thick, black and metallic card.

The card itself was longer than any normal card they’d ever seen, the thickness about ten times that of a standard playing card; on the back was the engraving of the Aetherian sigil in gold lining, and on the front was a portrait of a pony in a purple cloak, climbing a mountain whilst holding a staff with a lantern tied to the head. (1)

Under the picture was a script that read out a word, but before they could read what it said, Cree brings the card to the blue window, the portrait facing the window, as a line of light dragged downward and upward on the card, a beep signaling the completion of… something.

“Scan Complete. Welcome, Hermit-Class Brawler Cree, and company. Unfortunately, due to the castle’s currently low power output, we can’t give you an All-Clear, so you and your company may have to fight through Security as you traverse these halls. Have a nice day and try not to die as you tour the castle.”

The constant pleasantness of the voice was one thing, but to hear something like that being so bluntly thrown out was clearly unsettling to the group sans Cree, who just sweatdropped at the announcement as the blue window disappeared in a blink, prompting him to slip his CID into his pocket.

“I stand corrected.”

Bringing his katana to attention, he grabs it by the sheath, twirls it and holds it over his shoulder, the handle of the sheath resting on the shoulder.

“Well, we better get to the power room fast if we’re gonna keep security off our backs.”

At that, they all agreed on their current objective. It’s do or die, anyway.

As they prepare to move out, they are interrupted by the voice again, but this time, it came… from Cree’s person, where a sudden buzzing from his pocket drew attention.

“Oh yeah, since by protocol to ensure you don’t get lost or something, we have taken the liberty of downloading the castle’s map into your CID for your safety. It would be a shame if you tried to find the bathroom, only to find one of the balconies or something – that would be really embarrassing. Unless you’re a jerk who likes pissing off the side, hoping to hit someone at the bottom – then by all means, do so anyway.”

Fishing back his CID, Cree noticed that a scaled map of the castle was now displayed where the picture of the Hermit formerly was. While as Sam, he didn’t really need it, as it was his own home, he just used it to help guide the group behind him instead.

Everyone, on the other hand, was amazed by the level of technology being displayed right in front of them. But this awe-filled silence doesn’t go unnoticed, as Cree turns to find the nine ponies and dragon staring at him in bewilderment.

“What?”

“Cree… what is that in your hand just now?”

“I’ll explain more when there’s time, but not now.”

“Why not?”

And as though to answer the question presented, a hole irised open in a nearby pillar, letting a sort of large, metallic ball roll towards them, a set of robotic arms and legs popping out from the sides, and a head to pop up from the top, with white round eyes glowing and blinking, before looking to the group and turning red, the hands arcing with electricity.

But before the ten newcomers could get in any fighting stance, Cree blinks over to the robot, clonking it hard over the head with his Monkey’s Fist, and causing the robot to revert back to its ball state.

As he drew back his Monkey’s Fist, he looks back to the group.

“That’s why. And by the way, it’s your turn now,” he says, motioning behind the group as more of those Rollers (for current lack of better naming) enter the field. Twilight and Rarity try levitating the Rollers into each other, but whatever alloy they’re made of won’t allow any magic grip. Suddenly, before any of them could panic, a pink blur rushes from their side, only to see Pinkie wielding a silly-looking warhammer from one of the displays and use it to play a massive game of croquet using the Rollers, sending them bowling into each other.

While everyone just stared slackjawed at Pinkie, she just answered, “What? It’s not like Mr. Newman will get mad at me for borrowing this from the wall, right?”

No-one even noticed a sweatdrop slide down the back of Cree’s head as she spoke.

Luckily, those are fakes, otherwise it’d be too easy.

“Well Pinks, the displays here were actually made for demonstrations, so I don’t think he’d mind. Other than that, it might be best to return those when we finish up.”

“Why?”

“’Cause if I’m right, that display replica won’t hold too long, so it might be best to set them down either upon finding a proper weapon for y’all to use, or when we’re done here.”

“Cree, not all of us can fight, you know, so why bother trying to find weaponry?”

“It isn’t for fighting, but rather for defense instead – I’d rather avoid tedious combat, if I can. And something tells me that these little buggers are going to go full force the second they see us tired from bum rushing them all over the place.”

Everyone ‘ah’s in agreement, but most settles for going unarmed, as for one, Rainbow is content with using her karate, Applejack her hand-to-hand and her lasso, and the others barely knew how to use any of the weapons being presented, in fear of accidentally hurting the others in a cross fire, or not wanting to fight at all in Fluttershy’s case. However, Twilight and Rarity, seeing their magic barely make a dent in even a single Roller, take the chance to grab a weapon from the wall – a simple sword for Twilight and a rapier for Rarity - while Cree slips his Monkey’s Fist to Spike for him to use in an emergency to protect the CMC, leaving the most helpful advice for it use: ‘Spin it fast on your sides for prep, swing hard and aim for the top or sides of the head. Never spin in front of you or risk losing thought process and/or fertility in a miscalculation.’

With the seldom few of the girls armed, Cree takes the lead with his katana, and leads them into the depths of the castle, the map on the CID showing the various areas of the castle, some of which are noticeably highlighted as he shows it to the group.

“I’ve taken the liberty of selecting the best route to the power room, all the while getting a tour of the place at the same time. So all we need is to follow the map, and we’ll be on our merry way."

After a while of moving around the castle, and a couple of times that Cree smashes, kicks away, or even slices a wave of Rollers before any of the Six could do anything to fight, and a seldom few times that either Pinkie smashes her way through, Twilight starts showing a good amount of skill hacking and slashing at the hordes, or even Rarity fights some of the bigger bots, they reach one of the destinations highlighted on the map, namely the Hall of Arms.

The Hall, as aptly named, is a specialized display room where various weapons are put up, and unlike the displays in the room they first entered in, this one in particular has a more extensive range regarding the types of weaponry being shown – bastard swords, nunchaku, scythes, whips, hammers, longbows, OH MY GAWD!!

OMGSOMANYWEAPONS!

Ahem… sorry, lost myself there.

Although, there were many other weaponry that the group barring Sam have never even seen before, such as bulky sticks with miniature telescopes, boxes on the bottom, or even a blade, ranging from long to short and thick to thin (AKA fucking GUNS, duh.), a wide, toothed sword with a bulky hilt (AKA a chainsaw, ‘cause why not), and what seems to look like Cree’s sword, only with a larger hand guard, and the blade has teeth like one of the other weapons they saw (AKA chainsaw katana. You’re argument is invalid.), and also some rather bizarre weaponry – even stranger than what they first saw in their entry, such as decorative bracelets, a wheel, scarves (one of which Rarity found elegant), including… something… which might just be an immature joke, as proven by the blushing faces of the group sans Cree and Pinkie, who set to uncontrollable roll-on-the-floor and pound-the-ground laughter, and other than the fact that it’s… distinctively long and purple. (I’ll… just leave it to your imagination to try and figure this weapon out. I’m already embarrassed just trying to drop the stupid hint. Or not. I can’t tell.) Aside from that, Rainbow had already taken out her book and started drawing out a few of the weapons, that… thing, included as a gag.

“Ahaha… hah… *sigh* oh my Faust. *Ahem* Anyway, as you may see, everything in this hall is a weapon, including… *snrk* that… and I’ve heard that this very hall stores every weapon used by Sam, whether at least once or twice, in combat.”

“And… um, why does that, in particular, count as a weapon?”

“Hey, even I’m having a hard time seeing it that way as well, but looks can be deceiving. Heck, look at the warhammer Pinkie’s wielding – it looks more like a toy than a weapon, and yet she swings it like a pro!”

Twilight was about to refute as she held her hand up, but turning to see Pinkie actually start swinging said hammer, her brain starts to take in the thought, and eventually accepts it.

“Point taken. But why does Sam need this room anyway? Is this his way of setting up a trophy room for bragging rights or something?”

“I’ve actually asked that question, too, but as it turns out, for every weapon he collects and uses, he can actually be able to teach the usage of the weapon he has more fluidly.”

“Ohhh~, so this is like a choose-your-own-weapon station for any student looking to study fighting under him, right?”

“Um… yeah, actually – how’d you figure that out so quickly?”

“Duh~, this is so much similar to those role playing games being sold on the PBox. N-Not that I bought one or anything!”

At that point, everyone was just staring at Dash knowingly as the athlete tried to cover up being a geek on the side.

“Well, we’re all here, so we better suit up before any more of those varmints start rushin’ in.”

Nodding to AJ’s statement, they – sans Fluttershy – each make a beeline for a random weapon… only for their hands to pass through the displays.

“What the – Cree, these weapons aren’t real! Heck, they aren’t even there!”

“Oh. OH. OOOOH. I see why – these are only on display, and the only way we’ll even be able to use them is if we… we… erm… you know…”

“*sigh* The power?”

“*tsk* Yeah.”

“OH COME ON!”

Everyone joins in on the disappointment, but the whole thing didn’t last, as a large group of Rollers… well, rolled in from where they entered.

“Well, crap – we’d better book it.”

“What? Can’t you just fight?”

“Either we get tired from fighting, and get lost due to exhaustion, or we can run now, and get that All-Clear as quick as possible. And what more with that big guy over there!”

At Cree’s mention, a massive automaton enters the scene. It was an army green color with the Aetherian sigil on its chest, with a hulking torso, arms with one of the hands built similarly to some of the bulky sticks on display, four spider-like legs ending in wheels, and a head looking not unlike a toaster. Strangest thing though, it wore a naval general’s hat and a pink metal moustache for some reason.

“WELCOME TO THE HALL OF ARMS,” it spoke in a rather unique and robotic accent, “I AM GENERAL STEEL, AND I’M ONE OF THE GUARDIANS OF AETHER CASTLE. FROM WHAT I OVERHEARD FROM THAT BRIGHT YOUNG LAD OVER THERE, YOU DON’T SEEM TO HAVE AN ALL-CLEAR. BUT WHILE MY PROTOCOLS SAY I CAN’T HURT A LADY, IT SEEMS I HAVE TO WHEN I’M GUARDIN’ THIS PLACE, SO… PREPARE TO DIE, ASSHOLES!”

At that, Ironsides began preparing to charge at them, the Rollers by his side doing the same.

“So… run?”

“Yes.”

At that single solitary second, they all turned and ran full speed to their next stop, Steel and the Rollers hot on their trails. It didn’t help that the giant sentry was blind-firing ALL OVER THE PLACE while they ran, adding further to their panic.

Over the next quarter hour, it seemed that they were just running for the whole time from Steel. When he wasn’t blitzing their surroundings with hot lead, he would downright shoot at them with a friggin’ laser from his other hand, frying any area that they would’ve been unlucky to stay in hadn’t they moved. And with the few opportunities to do so, any Roller that got too close for comfort, they would bat it away and send it crashing into Steel, dealing some semblance of damage, albeit in minor amounts. (2)

After a while however, it seemed that they were finally able to outrun him after having him trip over the one of the Rollers, and ran even further to reach the gateway to their next destination. Somehow, despite there being low power, there is still enough energy pumping to keep doors, a few lights, and the whole friggin’ Hall of Arms going, for some ungodly reason. The reason to why the displays worked though was because they had a small, separate power supply to activate upon visiting the Hall, but the gang was too busy running from Steel to have time to learn that.

After having a few minutes to catch their breath, they all walk into the gate, which lead into… a sunny forest?

“What the – did we just get sent back to the surface?!”

“No, look – this isn’t natural sunlight, as it doesn’t feel normally warm. This isn’t the surface… this is Little Garden!”

To demonstrate, Cree pulls his CID out of his pocket, showing that they are still in the castle, and apparently in the area highlighted, ‘LITTLE GARDEN’, but as Cree mentioned, the area in general wasn’t anything like the name, but rather a massive chunk of the castle, which, upon Cree selecting that particular piece of the map, showed that it was actually sectioned into various sub-sections, all of which are revealed to be named, ranging from ‘WOODLAND’, the current section they’re currently in, to ‘TUNDRA’, and other areas.

And before Cree could go on to explain, he felt his CID get snagged from his hand… only to see Fluttershy of all ponies holding it. With her futzing with the CID’s map of Little Garden as she crouched down, Cree was conflicted as to whether or not he would do something. But as he actually came up with something to do, Fluttershy jolted up, her face alight in apparent realization.

“I get it now! This whole place is meant to take in various species from varying environments, which is why the place was designed using different biomes! That’s why the other parts are being separated and named – it tells the terrain of that very area! Like an all-natural zoo! Such ingenuity and consideration really went to making this – it’s amazing that so many biomes can exist in this… area… huh?”

Looking back to the others who’re staring at her in bewilderment, Fluttershy realizes that she got lost in her excitement and promptly hid in her mane as she blushed, silently handing Cree his CID back with a silent ‘eep!’ from her mane as she drew her hand back in.

Oh dear Faust, that’s too adorable.

“Well, since Fluttershy here said her piece, I guess I don’t need to explain any further, but we’d still better follow the map through what I assume is the scenic route – that way, we can see all the biomes and get a chance to help any of the animals here.”

“Y-yes, that’s right – these poor animals have been left here for a thousand years, and we need to ensure that they’re still safe. Cree, I know it’s very selfish of me to ask that we put your quest on hold for a while to help fulfill this, but I’m still asking anyway – can we do so?”

“That isn’t really selfish, and besides, it’s not like we’re gonna spend time here forever, hence why I marked off the scenic route of this place in advance.”

Everyone nodding, they walked off into the forest ahead of them, unaware of what creatures Sam had apparently kept in the various ecosystems recreated in Little Garden.

As they walked along, Fluttershy and Sam in the lead, it suddenly dawned on them about how… unnerving the forest surrounding them felt, the towering of the trees over them and the exoticness of their new surroundings making them feel more and more unguarded, regardless of having weaponry by their side, and even the supposedly braver ones like RD and AJ felt their legs lightly quake in slight fear. However, different thoughts flew in the heads of the two in front of them – Fluttershy, while feeling the same fear they have, she felt things she never expected to feel in conjunction with fear – excitement, determination, and all the more… thrill, which wasn’t normally something she was associated to; while Sam was more worried about all the creatures kept here, as they were all his responsibility to take care of, like a camaraderie of pets in a way, but he saw them in a bigger light than that.

As they wandered around the tree line, the majority group hoping that they would make it to the next biome–

*rustle, rustle* *rustle, rustle*

A nearby rustling from the side causes them to jump up and bring their weapons to ready. As the rustling gets closer and closer, their bodies tense up in preparation of what they’re going to face, but the sudden appearance of the white glow of a pair of eyes from a bush draws all their attention to it, as they mentally prepared themselves towards a potential battle.

At a mere split second, something small and grey jumped out of the bush, leaping onto Cree’s face, the griffon suddenly panicking and running around like a headless chicken (irony not intended), the fuss he’s making leaving no room for the gang to clearly see what’s attacking him, especially as their eyes were rather following the currently-panicking griffon as he waved his arms around in a vain attempt to shake off the offending creature, and their self-control straining to not laugh at the repetitive muffled screams of ‘OHFAUSTGETITOFF’. During the wanderer’s crazed run, he had the misfortune to end up running hard into a tree, his attacker leaping off just in time for Cree to crash face-first into the tree, the mystery assailant landing on the fallen fool’s chest.

As the shadow of the tree obscured whatever rendered Cree dazed and temporarily unconscious, the group was still hesitant to approach. However, Sweetie Belle, feeling slightly brave, walks towards the unknown in an attempt to pacify whatever it is, despite the others’ warnings to not to. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any animal food to offer, and didn’t want to turn away to get help from Fluttershy in fear of it doing what had been done unto Cree. Instead, going on a blind prayer, she reaches into her pack to find some edibles to offer, only to pull out… a bag of marshmallows. Deadpanning, she takes a deep breath, crouches down and holds it out, freshly opened, to the creature, a snout looking similar to a lizard’s, but not, sticks out of the shadows to take a sniff of the contents, before the eyes shine, and the creature jumps out of the dark to reveal itself to the group.

They never expected it to be so… so… so adorable – wait, what?

As the artificial light shines on it, the creature in question was the size of a teenage puppy in height, the head was similar to a lizard’s, down to the maw, shape and form, except more ‘toony’, for lack of better term, and much fuzzier-looking, and it had stubby arms ending in tiny claws, lupine legs used to stand upright, and a long, fluffy-looking tail behind it. It also had what is assumed to be floppy ears, which looked similar to one of Rarity’s doilies on the ends; possibly hinting towards female, attached to what seems to be a medallion on the sides of its head.

It was at this point that most of the group sans Fluttershy and Twilight were astounded that such an… adorable little creature had caught them off guard, taking down one of their heaviest hitters, but that thought was left in the dust as most of them began cooing over how cute it was as it nibbled and chomped the marshmallows from the bag Sweetie was holding, the latter smiling as the creature ate, apparently forgetting that this was the animal that made Cree knock himself out.

Although in retrospect, it was kind of Sam’s own fault for overreacting.

While it ate, it eventually strode over to Sweetie Belle’s side, plopping down on its rump and continuing to eat, the unicorn in question sitting down as well and laying the bag with the creature.

Meanwhile, Cree stirs from his unconsciousness, grasping his beak in pain as he rose from his spot. Looking over to the others, Twilight and Rainbow run over to him, the latter helping him up, as he looks to the group and…

“What’s that lizard doing here?”

Looking over to the very animal that just attacked him, everyone turned at his exclamation, following his eyes to the same animal that now sits next to Sweetie Belle.

“Um, Cree, I know you might be mad that it knocked you out, but you don’t have to insult it. It was just hungry.”

“Nonono – I wasn’t insulting it, ‘cause that’s in the name of the creature itself – a Psion Lizard!”

“Say whut now?”

“It’s in the book… chapter 5, the Bestiary – twenty-fifth page in the sub-chapter ‘Tamable Animals’, if I’m not mistaken.”

Getting the cue, Twilight pulls out the journal from her bag, going to the exact page that Cree entailed and reading out loud the entry of the newfound species.

Psion Lizard

Creatures of unknown origin and unknown world, these little beings are not to be trifled with, for while they can be cute, they are known to have the ability to possess other animals, regardless of size to protect themselves from potential predators in the wild. They also seem to have a similar thinking capacity to wolves and ponies combined, occasionally travelling in ‘clusters’ from town to town, and being able to form colonies. Even without having to possess other animals, they can actually handle themselves well in combat, so long as they have the element of surprise.

Their diet primarily consists of sweets, and some of them had gotten smart enough to make their own from sugar cane. Although, they can also rely on the standard food that everyone eats as well to get sustenance when sweets aren’t available.

As it turns out, they have an uncanny attraction to mages with potential, and any that manage to tame them might be the sign of a great mage. To tame one, you would need a brave heart, as in one circumstance, it would test courage by taking out who it senses as the strongest in the group, striking fear into the others. Also, another way to tame them might be slightly simpler: offer them something sweet and see if they trust you good enough to take it – they can somehow ‘smell’ whether you’re good or bad. Still unexplainable how that works, but the best it can be compared to is similar to how changelings can sense emotion.

Upon reading the final paragraph, they all realized they had been tested by the very Psion next to them… and apparently Sweetie Belle succeeded.

“Wait, does this mean… Sweetie Belle can be great at magic?!”

“That’s impossible, Scoots - I can barely manage a telekinesis spell without it fizzling out.”

“Don’t push yourself like that, Sweetie Belle, maybe this means you’ve got a chance!”

“Yeah! Who knows – maybe this is a sign or something!”

Sweetie Belle blushes at the praise, glad that she has such supportive friends at her side. However, AJ walks over to Cree to whisper something.

“Not to be a stickler, but how are we so sure that this isn’t just some superstition?”

“Sometimes, the greatest things can be accomplished by faith in one another or oneself. And I’ve seen quite a few mages with the same lizard by their side – all strong and hard to fight.”

“You fought them?”

“Training – and maybe that I also wanted the challenge.”

As Cree entails more on the history over mages with Psion Lizards, the CMC and Spike were discussing more on the creature in question.

“So, what’ll her name be?”

“Eh?”

“Well, we can’t just call her ‘Lizard’ or anything else – you’ll have to come up with a name, you know.”

“What about… Sia?”

The thought was put into consideration, but they all decided no – including the lizard.

“How’s about…erm… Lizzie?”

Everyone just looks to Spike with blank expressions as he looks at them in embarrassment, before everyone just all vetoed the name as they facepalmed – pawed, I suppose, for the case of the Psion.

“OOH, OOH! I got one – how’s… Ripley?”

They put a whole lot of thought into it, but couldn’t decide properly and thus put it aside for a second.

“Maybe… Echo?”

With that name, everyone voices their approval over it as even the newly-christened Echo skrees in appreciation. Meanwhile, Sam had already finished up on his fake-history session with the Mane 6, all the while getting ready to move on, packing the seldom few stuff that fell out of his bag during his panic. Everyone follows suit, getting their packs and moving on, Rarity still busy sketching some nearby exotic flowers for dress ideas, most of which Twilight notices aren’t normally found in the wild in Equis. However, the alicorn’s attention was drawn towards a specific flower.

“Say Cree, what’s this flower?”

Looking to her and following to where she’s motioning, Sam spots a familiar flower – a lily of sorts, only it glows a golden yellow from the inside, then fades to a sunny red as it travels down the petals, and the standout greenish-yellow filaments curve into a heart. A soft smile graces his face as fond memories come back as he explains the flower.

“Ah. That there’s a very rare find – a Burning Heart Lily, created from a mass amount of Love Magic, and a deep learning of horticulture. They say if you carry even a petal around you, and it becomes soothingly warm to you, you’ll have found you soul mate in someone near you. And if you find your soul mate, and they happen to be carrying a petal themselves… well, you’d know right ahead. Legend has it, Sam created these flowers himself.”

“Kinda hard to believe a tough guy like him could make a flower this… dramatic.”

“Turns out, he made these flowers with the intention of wooing a mare. He was, to quote, ‘a sucker for romance’ in lighter terms, and made the flowers on one of their dates on a cold evening. And it worked pretty well, too – so much so that it became a popular thing in the past to carry a Burning Heart Lily petal around as someone looking to find love. But unfortunately, there aren’t many of these growing around anymore, so the tradition might’ve become lost to obscurity.”

“So… it’s an extinct flower?”

“…Not necessarily.”

As Twilight was busy observing the lily, she didn’t notice Cree looking over a shrub, and, upon seeing him, starts following his example… finding a generous patch filled with the very same flower.

“Yeah, I know – not everyday you see a sight like this, huh? Must have grown over the years.”

“But… how?”

“Magic, I guess.”

Twilight merely rolls her eyes in bemusement in response to the blasé answer. However, it was all she needed as when Cree walked back to get to the group, she stealthily picked the flower and encased it in a sample jar she had in her pack. Feeling the warmth radiating from the glass as she looked to Cree, she shook her head as to put aside the assumption for further inquiry as she catches up to the group.

Meanwhile…

It took her a bit to follow through, but luckily she got the gist when he called about finally doing the deed as she let everything finally unfold up on the surface, all the while following them underground in silence, only waiting for a bit until they got sufficiently far enough to enter safely – especially with the overly-complicated plan he laid out. As she was confronted by the Interface Protocols screen, she pulled out her CID Card, only instead of The Hermit like Sam’s fabricated CID, this one rather had a portrait of a mare with a face filled with inner serenity, despite being hung by one leg on a cross.

Scan Complete. Welcome, HangedMare-Class Ranger Shadow Seeker. Are you late or something? Because a group already went ahead.

“It’s fine. I’ll just catch up with them.”

Would you like for me to send them a message when the power comes back on?

“Sure. Just let them all know I’m here by name. And call for Cree specifically.”

Request acknowledged.

Drawing her weapon, she readies herself for the oncoming horde of Rollers charging in.

Going back to the group…

After getting back to the matter at hand, the group finally continued their trek through the simulated lands, this time with a new friend in tow. As it turned out, Pinkie had her camcorder running the whole time in the castle, so it literally caught every going-on since they entered, which sadly included Cree’s little mishap – and it looked like she wasn’t going to cut that footage out no matter what Cree will say or do.

They found themselves travelling through many fauna such as ‘JUNGLE’, which carried so many magic-infused birds in the treetops such that a few of them were assumed to be part of the trees. Fluttershy then pulled out a massive sack of vitamin-enhanced birdseed, which she began to feed to the massive cluster as they flocked around her and the group. Odd enough, a lot of the birds decided to flock around Cree, using his shoulders and head as roosts as he helped feed them. It just went slightly bad when one of them turned out to be cross-breed of a phoenix and what the book called a ‘Rakk’, which proceeded to puke what seemed to be regurgitated lava where Cree once stood. Especially when one of them almost made off with Echo, only for the little lizard to showcase her other ability – by possessing the same “Rakknix” as Scootaloo began calling it. There was also the scarier of the bunch, like one the book called ‘Swooping Evil’, a very frightening terror of the skies… which became as mellow as a kitten when approached by Fluttershy, much to the group’s amusement.

Moving along, they even traversed through the simulated ‘TUNDRA’ where they met snakes that looked like moving ice blocks with organs inside known as ‘Frost Runners’, massive monkeys with two jaws and four arms called ‘Bullymongs’, and also a few normal animals, like seals – babies, in particular, which Fluttershy fully adored – and even a few polar bears… one in particular, for some reason, had a fully blank stare as it looked to the group as it waved nonchalantly.

Going even further, they reached ‘TEMPLE’, a seemingly out-of-place ancient building which, upon entering, was actually full of animals they’d normally assume was in a Daring Do book – crocodiles, giant snakes, and the highlight of the place… giant, f*cking spiders. Although all of the above were clearly tamed, it was still terrifying the group nonetheless, especially Sam in particular, as being cuddled by one of his biggest fears was not on his bucket list. Yet, there were also other creatures, like the mole-like creature called a ‘Niffler’ which almost made away with the Monkey’s Fist, a few of Rainbow’s utility knives, some of Rarity’s gems, and the whole of Spike’s snack case if it hadn’t been for Cree’s quick thinking… and surprise shakedown of the little pest (“Cree! What are you doing?!” “Don’t worry – I’ve dealt with these little twats before – I know what I’m doing!”), which helped them regain their stuff, including all kinds of valuables, from the creature’s seemingly bottomless fur. They even met three legged stone-like behemoths with yellow crystals adorning their body, which attracted Rarity to the point she’d try and extract a few – but, thanks to Cree’s reflexes and Fluttershy’s stern look, she stopped in her tracks, especially as in the book, it said the creatures themselves, called ‘Crystalisks’, were saved from Griffon miners who specifically wanted their crystals… only to get the short end of the stick when the creatures fought back. So in short, they just saved her from a very painful fate.

Moving on from the slightly sobering experience, they made their way to, hopefully, the end of their trek across Little Garden. Fluttershy had already fed a lot of the denizens of the biomes, and they were just about ready to get out.

The only way out, however, was through a part of the Garden simply known as ‘BOTANY SECTION’, which was basically a massive garden.

Going inside, they get confronted by massive amounts of greenery – plants, fruits, and all kinds of crops being present, most of which they’d never even seen before. Regardless, there were also other plants they were familiar with, like a small patch of Poison Joke (kept in a glass dome, conveniently), a line of pots with Heart’s Desire planted in each, and in particular…

“WAIT ONE COTTON-PICKIN’ MINUTE! Is that… a grove of Zap-Apple Trees?! But it isn’t even in season yet!”

Much to everyone’s shock, sans Sam, yes, there was a small grove of Zap-Apple Trees in the Botany Sector. According to a plaque that rested before the grove, these apples in particular were grown naturally, being fed what was called ‘Mana’ in order to ensure a secure growth, and not… explode in juices?!

“Wait, does this mean… we’ve been growing apple bombs this whole time?!”

“If we were, we’d have already lost half the harvest. But if that’s the case, how come it’s not blowing up in our faces?”

“Maybe… somepony’s been feeding a steady supply of Mana to your trees in secret?”

The Apple sisters took a minute to let the thought percolate in their heads… but they ultimately dismiss it in the end.

Going back to the matter at hand, while Applejack inspected the Zap-Apple Trees, the others begun to browse the other plants – Pinkie looks at some chili pepper bushes, seeing how they look completely different from the normal ones she uses, going so far as to snag one… and get heartburn a few minutes later (luckily, she had a glass of milk at hand, for some ungodly reason, so that problem solved itself.) Rainbow looks to a tall, blue cactus labeled ‘Stinging Cactus: Don’t Touch. Seriously’ and, not heeding the warning, sticks a finger onto a thorn, getting a strong static shock, sending her mane and fur standing in all directions. She also seemed to hear some snickering from behind her, but it didn’t see to come from the others. Twilight, on the other hand was just looking at some watermelons… somehow grown to be square, which perplexed her to no end. Rarity, on the other hand, was looking at some more flowers, in particular, one labeled ‘Osiria Rose’, a flower that is red on the outside, but somehow white on the inside, which spiked even more inspiration for her. Fluttershy looked to a line of small trees, which grew pink petals with a hue similar to her own mane, labeled ‘Sakura (Cherry Blossom) Grove’, which made her feel like she was going to meet someone she loved here, for some reason that stumped her.

However, the CMC and Spike were a different story, inspecting… what looked like a massive, bulbous Venus flytrap, which had a purple hue to it. For some reason, it didn’t have any plaque attached to its pot, making it all the more strange.

“Hey, Twilight! Does the book say anything about this huge plant? Out of everything here, this is the only plant unlabeled.”

Drawn by their call as well, Sam begins to head over to the CMC, going over to the-

Oh. Right. Shit.

Following him is Twilight, already referring to the book for answers.

“Nothing present in the Botanical section of the journal. Not even in edibles, if any.”

“Uh, Twilight?”

“Hm?”

“Try… the Bestiary instead. Under T.”

Confused by his statement, getting even more befuddled as he slowly backs away, she still complies with his request regardless.

It only begins to dawn on her when she finds the entry.

Titanica Flytrap

Seeds for this strange carnivorous plant were found when a meteor crashed from the sky. They get their name due to their massive capacity for growth. Strange enough, it apparently has the uncanny power to attract good fortune to storefronts, but at the cost of feeding it the sustenance it requires: namely the meat and blood of animals – regardless of whether or not it’s cooked is up to the plant itself; yes, confusing as it may be, the plant has a high chance of gaining sentience, so long as the owner continues to feed it, also increasing its size in the process. If appetite is not kept in check however, odds are the owner could end up as its next meal. However, one of the best ways to keep this beast in check is to gain a high level of dominance over it – so long as the owner can reach a strong agreement with it, they will be safe. They are most popular as ruthless guards amongst royalty and rich merchants, serving their owners in return for eating the unfortunate idiots who try to rob them.

Horror sketched on her face, she turns to the CMC… only to find the massive plant moving.

“GIRLS! GET AWAY FROM THAT THING!”

Before the girls could let the warning properly register in their heads, they suddenly found themselves surrounded by vines under their feet. Applebloom and Scootaloo were unfortunate to get caught, and Sweetie Belle was about to get ensnared, but Spike’s fast thinking got her out of the way, but at the cost of getting himself caught in the process.

As everyone sped to the commotion, they were all, to an extent, astounded, by the massive flytrap as they rounded on it.

As the trio in its grasp struggle against the vines, they suddenly find themselves face-to-face with a massive purple maw, a wicked grin seeming to form on its face as it slowly opens… and…

*ROAAAAAA-* *COUGH**COUGH**HACK*

They all get treated to an ear-rumbling roar, only to suddenly be treated to a face full of cough-induced phlegm instead.

*COUGH* *COUGH* “Oh Faust, I am so sorry. Must’ve been something I caught over the millennia.”

They were all outright shocked that this new monstrosity was able to speak. Granted, they saw an automaton talk, but this took the cake as far as they were concerned. The voice was slightly scratchy from the supposed cough, but it was still deep enough to warrant, yes, that it was a male.

“Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah. Who are you lot?”

Thrown out of their shock-induced stupors, they suddenly found themselves introducing each other, but he was surprisingly gentlemanly when interacting with Fluttershy, being patient when getting her name (and when Rainbow tried to introduce her in her stead, she got pushed off by a loud “I DON’T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING.” instead) and doing so in the same case as Rarity. And as he did this, he also unconsciously let go of Applebloom, Scootaloo and Spike, who all ran to the sides of their respective family.

“Alright then, so it seems fair to introduce myself as well – name’s Clayton, one of the Guardians of Aether Castle. At your service.”

He even went so far as to bow, much to the surprise of others. In response, Twilight looked to the entry on the Titanic Flytrap again to find more insight on him… only to find the answer on a side-note, supposedly handwritten by Sam himself.

Note: Personalities of these guys seem to differ from plant to plant, which can range from tough, sassy, shy, and on some occasions, smooth (as in panty-dropping smooth – no joke, but stretches rather toward other plants, which just makes it feel awkward), but the most domineering personality overall seem to be that they are at best, sophisticated, yet mischievous, assholes - all in one pack. But on the other hand… they do have kickass singing voices.

…Okay…

While it was supposed to be helpful, it merely just went towards befuddling Twilight yet again. However, a certain declaration of ‘Clayton’s stood out towards Rainbow.

“Wait… did you say ‘Guardian’?!”

As Rainbow calls out this fact, the rest of the group tenses up, readying themselves for battle. However, the Titanica Flytrap in their midst merely shrugs them off.

“Looks to me like you lot met Steel, eh? Don’t you worry your little heads none – I’m smarter than that.”

Although he had no eyes, the group could somehow feel him trying to assure them that they’re in the clear. Hesitantly, those with weapons only slightly lowered them as the plant explained himself.

“Sure – we, as the keepers of each part of this castle, are fully required to prevent intruders from stealing anything or killing any of the tenants with any level of force, but we are also here to judge whether or not those who enter are of ill intent – if not, then we merely kick them out with a few bruises and cuts. But those who do… well… we leave them with a lot of broken bones and minor psychological trauma.”

At the final piece of the sentence, a deep shudder rose within the spines of the ponies and the dragon, what with that calm of a tone he explained with.

“Although, it seems like you lot are an okay bunch – buuuuut… you’ll still have to get past me in order to go through.”

Nodding, everyone in the group, sans the CMC, Spike, and Fluttershy, all ready themselves for combat. However, the plant raises a vine, as though to emulate a ‘hold on’ gesture.

“Now, now, let’s not get too hasty here – I’m not like Steel, so we’ll play by different rules.”

“Wait, how does that work?”

“What? Did you expect that every big guy you meet in the castle is going to be a boss fight, like some cliché RPG routine?”

…Granted, they should have actually assumed that possibility firstmost, and upon the realization, sheepishly begin drawing back their fighting stances and weaponry.

“Of course, your griffon friend over there is definitely going to need his katana.”

Blinking, Sam steps forward and draws his sword, a sable black streak of cold iron, and prepares himself mentally. Out of honesty, one of the many things he is wary of is that while he considers and boasts of his unpredictability, the world around him can also match him in that as well – thus, he’s pretty much walking into this one just as blind as the rest of the gang.

Regardless, he primes himself for whatever may come along.

“Alright, I’m up to the plate, so what’s the-OW!”

*THUNK*

Of course, all things considered, he never expected to be beaned in the back of the head with a hard piece of fruit.

“You just have to do one thing. Think fast, kid.”

And out of nowhere, a massive flurry of fruit from the plants around them suddenly tear through the air en route to Cree, causing the griffon to start erratically swinging his sword around (and dodging huge-ass watermelons and bullet-speed fucking durians hurtling towards his head) in an attempt to either cut through the barrage or just deflect them.(3)

More or less, everyone else was just stuck at the sidelines watching their friend swerve & slash through volley after volley of fruit being lobbed at him, especially when they were discreetly handed bowls of the same chopped fruit by Clayton as they watched.

10 minutes-worth of the merciless massacre of innocent fruit later…

The bombardment had finally ended, the griffon in the middle of it all, sweating heavily as he stood covered in the delicious blood of the innocent produce slain in the matter of minutes. He was so tired, he’s actually propping himself up with the sword in a vain attempt to not collapse.

All the while he stood there; the smug S.O.A.B Clayton was laughing his pot off as he wiped a fake tear from his face – why he does that without any eyes is beyond anybody, maybe just for irony. With his vines, he also collected the wooden fruit bowls from the mares, dragon and lizard.

“Ahahaha… hoo boy, was that the best show I’ve ever seen! Alright, you lot can go on!”

“Was all of this necessary though? I don’t see the use in wasting good produce like this.”

“Maybe so, but I haven’t had any fun around since Sam done got stoned, so this is how I make do. Anyway, you ladies said you’re looking for the main power room, right?”

“Yeah - any idea where we head off to next?”

“Well, your friend there has a map, if I’m not mistaken, so why-”

*SQUELCH*

They all turn instantly at the sound of Cree, falling face first into the nearest pile of fruit. Rainbow and AJ rush ahead and help him up, lightly patting his face in order to help him regain consciousness, his face showing him in a haze.

“… I regret nothing. Anyway… you’ll definitely have to take a trip through the Workshop. It’s pretty much in the name – it’s where Sam spends his time creating tech and developing biological wonders. Heck, he spliced together quite a few of the plants you see in this here greenhouse.”

“…Wait, but wouldn’t that be called a lab rather than a workshop?”

“He hates wasting time with trivialities, and just narrows everything down to one name instead.”

“In translation, he’s just lazy.”

“Yeah, that sums it up pretty much. Well, you better head on ahead. Good luck.”

After finally helping the griffon regain consciousness, they finally set off to the exit that was formerly blocked off by Clayton’s presence. However…

“Hey guys, could you all go on ahead? I gotta confer with big and purple over here.”

Puzzled by his request, they nevertheless comply, going on through the door, leaving only the griffon and the flytrap left in the room.

“Alright, what do you want to-”

“Sorry, but I gotta cut to the chase, ‘cause I don’t want the girls to catch on yet.”

Pulling his mask off instantly, he reveals himself to the flytrap, the latter in shock.

“S-Sam?!”

“SHH! Don’t alarm the others!”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s cool. But I need to ask. How’ve been things in the Castle since I was gone?”

“Not much, honestly. We do have a few visitors from the other kingdoms bringing in food from the Network, but since it suddenly shut down after a few centuries, we in the Garden have been relying on some Meatfruit or actual fruit to sustain us for the next few centuries. Since then, no other contact over the years.”

“Shit. Okay then, but they’re still okay though, right?”

“Yeah, last we heard, but that was a long time ago, so we’re not sure. The guys in the lab were able to set a secure line of comms with them, but no new updates since the 500th year.”

“Actually, since you bring that up… is he…?”

“Still active. Just in stasis, though, but the other three in his squad are patrolling the Workshop in his stead – something about IP being active again.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic. No matter. We’ll still move on.”

“You know he’s smart enough to deduce it’s you in a few minutes, right?”

“Duh. I made him that way, after all.”

“Fine. But take care, man.”

“You too. And… thanks for the exercise. Asshole.”

“Didn’t know it was you, so it doesn’t count.”

“Whatevs.”

Replacing his disguise, he steps out of the room once again, following the others.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Side Notes

1. The CID Card, or ‘Class Identification Card’, is used by those studying under Newman’s teaching standards to keep track of progress, know what sub-courses are needed to advance their central course in combat/learning, and it can show advancement through change in class. In other words, it’s a thin-ass smartphone that doesn’t take in calls or play games (unfortunately), but rather takes grades, data, and other things needed for a student – like a fancy PDA. And if the class Cree is doesn’t give away how progression is identified, I don’t know what will.

2. Imagine the unbearable Raid Bosses from the Borderlands series, only there’s no way to tell how much damage you’re doing, it’s a solo run rather than a team effort, and on you’re both on the same level, and not being on a higher level than it (think like fighting a Lv. 51 Hyperius the Invincible on Lv. 51). That’s how this chase is going - a migraine ten ways till December. Unless you’re either a bullshit cheater or have a broken-ass collection of loot from other bosses.

3. …Yeah, I ran out of ideas for this part, so I integrated that cheesy P.O.S. game on purpose. And… I’m not sorry.

… OK, maybe a little. Or a lot. IDFK.