The Poem (Ljóðið)

by mordecaimapper

First published June 30th, 2016 20:40

After Tank died, Rainbow Dash started to wrote a poem/diary, describing every single detail and feeling that she had, and suicide is the only way that Dashie thought that would help her for find Tank.

Rated Teen because: suicide, swearing, depression

Also, for reading/dramatic reading, here you have the soundtrack

Chapters

Ljóðið
Empty
The Comeback
Depression
Lunch of Sadness

Ljóðið
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The Poem (Ljóðið)

Ljóðið

A lucid dream I had
It was Tank talking with me
The dream was shining and lightly
Tank's voice was so sweet...
So sweet as Pinkie's cake
And he whispered at me:
"Dashie, don't be so harsh on yourself,
I really miss you and your friends,
Come with me and we will be together forever..."

I wake up sweating and crying
Tank never talked in his life
It was a dream, but so true
Again I'm losing sleep
I took this pills for dream again
But the dreams will cause more pain
Should I kill myself and go to Tank?
Or should I living with this pain forever?
This is my grimdark quest...

My head is cracked up
As the pain dominates all of my body
The bubbles of my tears are evaporating
I scream louder and crying:
"Tank! If you are earing me,
I miss you! I need you!"
Again, I put thinking in my quest
Also, it is more probable that I will kill myself
Than I survive with this pain...

Oh Luna, don't send me more dreams
My mind is full of sadness and toughts...
I need more DSBM and Radiohead for my radio...
I really wanted to save them from those bastards
The Winter killed us all and the Summer will kill me more
I scream again to the heavens:
"Tank! I will kill myself!
Just for having you in my arms!"

I woke up, it is 2AM
The sound of the annoying clock is bothering me...
I will get my gun or my knife
And I will pointing at my head...

The only thing I want
Is hugging Tank
So I shall pull the trigger
And end this all now

At 5AM, Rainbow Dash is found dead by a bullet in the head
Near her body is found a paper with a poem

Empty
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The Poem (Ljóðið)

Empty

I opened my eyes
I was in the post-death
I did it, now I need to find Tank!
Waled through the blinding lights
Then I found the Gates of Heaven
I walked in the gate
What I found was an empty place
Without ponies or Tank...
So I started to run to the horizont
It was really a big and lightly place
Zone where the lost ponies souls goes
I thinked that me Rainbow Dash
Would found nothing here...
But then...

I saw other light!
And with the light, a green figure I watch
I run to the green shadow
"Tank it is you?" I started to cry with joy!
The shadow cames to me and...
It was Tank!
I was so happy for watching him
Also, after this longs weeks...
I finally could hug him..

The Comeback
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The Poem (Ljóðið)

The Comeback

Author's Note

End of the story :)

The Comeback

I was so happy for finding Tank
Now I'm feeling a better pony
And the pain is reduced to ashes
I looked at him and he looked at me
I said: "Finaly, I found you!"
Tank looked at me and smiled
This was really needed for me
The suicide was really important
I am not feeling pain anymore...

Tank guied me to heaven
I went blind in that time
The lights were so beautiful...
Tank with a smile said:
"You need to go Dashie...
Your friends miss you".
I said to Tank, crying:
"But I need you!
I will have this empty space in my heart"

I hugged Tank and I cry
"Why I can't be here with you?!"
Tank smiled to me and said
"Because death isn't made by ponies,
Is natural and all will pass by this...
Go now; your friends miss you."
I really started to think about my friends
They could be sad or depressed like me...
And also they would kill theirselfs...

An empty light started to plump
It was showing me the way to live
Tank looked at it and said:
"Well it is your time to go"
I hugged Tank again and I said crying;
"When I can see you again?"
Tank smiled again and said:
"When you die naturally"
I washed off my tears and hug again Tank

So in the Gate of Life I was
Tank was looking at me with a smile
I looked at him crying...
I will miss him very but really very much
But my friends will miss me too...
And they will do the same as me.
So I jumped in the Gate
And then I come to life!
And I started to breathe again...

And the girls looked at me
It was my funeral
All were socked and amazed
My mother ran to me to hug me.
Twilight and Fluttershy tarted to cry with joy
"You're alive" said Twilight, "How?"
And I answer crying
"Heaven was a lightly place but
Tank taught me that I was too young to die"

Twilight grabed me and smiled
"I'm so glad that you are alive and fine"
"Yeah now I'm fine, Dashie is fine!"
Now I knew that I was fine!

So I decided to continue to write the poem
The poem of my depression
The poem of when I found Heaven
The poem that ended in this verse

Depression
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The Poem (Ljóðið)

Depression

Author's Note

So, this is my first lyrical story.
Inspired by Shakespear and Luis Vaz de Camões
I will make a tragic and gory story
Enjoy :)

DSBM is the most depressive genre of Black Metal, includes bands like Shining, Silencer, Alcest and Noctural Depression.

Depression

I never saw this coming...
Tank is dead and I'm here doing nothing...
Thinking how I could help to rescue him
Darkness gets his soul and I...
I cry all the time, I try to go back...
But it's impossible
Tank died as my brain,
No more Wonderbolts or Rock N Roll for me...
I'm in a way that the certain suicide is the best chance...

To Celestia I pray...
For getting the soul of Tank away from Hell
The Devil will took us all at the end...
Unless I end my life now...
I will cut my rainbow tail...
Cut my hooves and ears...
And watch the blood in the bathroom
As I die with suffering with pain
I think I need a friend...

Even though, I'm dead inside
My veins are getting black
And the radio is playing DSBM
I think more in suicide
It would take my pain
And find Tank in heaven
But it is an waste of time I think
Watching myself dying
Just because I can't take the pain

The depression is getting more agressive
My brain has a World War in
I think I'm having deadly times now
In the bathroom, I'm now
Watching what I'm going to do...
Korn is reading all my pain
Passed 3 days since...
Since my friend died...
I didn't went out of home...

My friends are getting afraid
They think that I will be dead
And they will cry for me...
But they didn't cried for Tank...
And I scream with they
I'm a f*****g monster...
I need really to cut myself
And watch the blood hit the ground
DSBM is controling me...

Oh Celestia, how I wanted a bomb in my face...
I really need somepony to wash of my tears
The radio is playing the dark music
I really need somepony to love
Tank's death leave me an empty place in my mind
That no one understands or thinks
I need to watch my brain and vital organs
Go out of my body in a bloody ritual
As I cut my flank and wings...

The music is still dark and depressing
DSBM and Korn are still taught me some things...
I feel that I start to like this pain that I hated
No one and nothing sees me during this five long weeks
I feel such a b***h just for looking at the window
I neee to close myself from this world
Some rituals I do to Tank's soul
Giving my veins blood to him
Now I think that I really need to kill myself

It is 3AM, I can't sleep
I'm lonely and with cold
But I'm fine with that
Because someday
Someday, I will kill myself

Lunch of Sadness
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The Poem (Ljóðið)

Lunch of Sadness

Author's Note

This is the second part enjoy :)

Lunch of Sadness

I decided to rub up my ideas
I left home for a walk in the park
I was with fear that somepony noticed my depression
Pinkie saw me and started to run at me:
"Hey Dashie! How are you since Tank's..."
"Stop right now, I'm fine Pinkie"
It is so hard to lie to my friends...
"Dashie, me and Twilight are making a lunch in the park
Want to go with us?"

I said yes to Pinkie, in fact I wouldn't said no to her
She guide me to the lunch zone of the park
Twilight and Rarity were preparing everything
"Hi Darling, how are you dear?"
"I'm fine, Rarity, it is hard to me but I stay strong"
"Glad that you are fine Dash" Says Twilight
We started to eat
AJ and Fluttershy join us sometime after
It was hard to swallow all that lies I created...

It was more harder to fake my smile
I started sweating with fear of noticing my sadness
But Twilight saw me sweating....
"Are you really fine Rainbow...?"
"Yeah sugarcube, you look terrible!"
After AJ saying that... I've lost all my soul
"Hum... I'm fine girls... It is just hot here, nothing more"
"But Dashie! It is Winter and is only 13 C° here"
Pinkie Pie is smart... I'm in a big mess

"Rainbow, if there something you need to talk,
We're here to listen all you have inside..."
Fluttershy is a kind mare, but I lied to all....
I lied to myself just for hidding the true me...
"Damn! I'm fine! I thinked that I said this more than a thousand times!"
I was in desesperation and sadness at the same time...
But I decided to run away from the park
I lifted flight and I went to my house
Twilight started to persecue me...

"Rainbow Dash! Why are you flying so fast!"
"Twilight stop! I just need a time for myself!"
"But... you aren't fine!"
I stopped flying and started to cry...
"No... I lied to you... I lied to my friends...
I lied to me..."
"Dash... I can help you,
Only if you told me the truth!"
I was... shocked...

"I need a time to myself, Twilight..."
"Ok Dash, if you need something, go to me!"
"Ok, bye Twilight"
I entered in my house and started to cry in my bed...

I'm a selfish pony...
I need help but I don't want
I can't take the pain alone or with my friends...
Suicide is the only... choice...