Lance McCool and His Destiny

by NotThatAverage

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Comedy, Romance, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna
Length: 1201

Meet Lance McCool. He is the new Stallion in Equestria, but he is anything but ordinary.

Lance McCool's purpose in life is to repopulate the population of Equestria due to the severe amount of homosexual relationships. Will he succeed? Will he fail? Will he even be able to figure out how to control his abilities?

Published 2016-06-26 20:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-26 20:50:01 UTC

Origins of Lance McCool

Lance McCool strolled down the streets of Ponyville, bobbing his head to some unheard beat that only played in his mind. It was a pleasant day. The clouds were clear, thanks to the help of some of the Pegasus. Makes sense. That was their destiny after all. What was destiny though? This was often a struggle that Lance McCool often toiled with at night after he was brought into this world. Lance McCool was no ordinary stallion.

Lance McCool was brought into this world through the most unconventional means possible. All he can remember from his childhood was a bright flash. He was surrounded by four alicorns. Each one somehow managing to decrease in size. The tallest one, who was also front and center, spoke to him first.

“Lance McCool,” the white alicorn said calmly, “you have been created through the use of the powers of the Sun, the Moon, Love, and Friendship.”

Lance McCool had so many questions that he wanted answered. Why was he here? Who were these ponies? Was he really created from those four things? What about sugar, spice, and everything nice? He opened his mouth to say something.

“Hey wait a second. How can you just make someone out of-“ Lance McCool was sporadically cut off when the black alicorn shoved her hoof in his mouth.

“THOU SHALT NOT ASK QUESTION WHEN THOU IS IN THE COMPANY OF THE GODS OF EQUESTRIA!” the black alicorn shouted. So loudly that Lance McCool slide back a couple of inches. From that powerful display, Lance McCool decided it was best to listen and to not question the magic or logic of the alicorns.

“There was no need for that Luna,” the pink one asserted, “perhaps all he needs is some love and care.”

“THOU WOULD SAY THAT WHEN THY HAS A HEART ON THY ASS CADANCE!” the black one shouted.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WHORE!” the pink one fired back.

“ENOUGH!” the tiny purple one shouted. “If you want anything to get accomplished before the population dies off, we cannot be fighting. We have to be FRIENDS. “

This seemed to subdue the situation in the room. Lance McCool could feel all eye shift onto him. He tried to meet their gaze, but Lance McCool saw that all of them were looking toward the ground. Lance, not wanting to be out of the loop, decided to look down at the floor and see what was the big deal.

“Woah,” was all he could get out. His special purpose was as miraculous and as beautiful as a warm spring day.

“As you can see, you have been born into this world with a certain talent,” the large white alicorn stated. “Lance McCool, our pony population is dying. All of the mares are banging other mares and all of the stallions are banging other stallions. Even I am not safe from this fate.” The large white alicorn then gave an awkward glance to the black alicorn. They then both looked sheepishly away. “Lance McCool. You were created in order fuck all of the bitches in Equestria. You must fuck all of the bitches in order to preserve our species. Last thing we want to happen is for the Zebras and the Griffons to take over the glorious land of Equestria.”

“CELESTIA!” the purple alicorn yelled. “I thought you were loving and caring of all species in Equestria.”

“I say we should build a wall to keep all of the inferior species out of Equestria and make them pay for it,” the white alicorn continued, “but that is a political debate for later. Lance McCool, you were born with the special powers of the Sun, Moon, Love, and Friendship. The use of these four elements have allowed you to become the most brightest, mysterious, attractive, and friendliest stallion in all of Equestria. There is no possible way that any of the bitches could say no to your endeavors! Our species is saved! Now go Lance McCool! Go out into Equestria and fuck all of the bitches! It is your destiny!”

Before Lance McCool could ask anymore questions or where in the living hell he even was, there was another bright flash. When he opened his eyes, he was in a small town. He had no idea what it was or where he was, but he had to find out somehow. So he ran into the nearest shop.

“Hello and welcome to Rarity’s Boutique.” A white unicorn greeted from the back. “How may I be of assistance for you today? Perhaps a fitting or a new suit? Or even a dress? After all, it is 2016. So who am I to judge-” the unicorn stopped talking once her eyes meet Lance McCool’s. An awkward silence hung in the air. Not knowing what to do, Lance McCool decided to gather some new information on his surroundings.

“Why hello. My name is Lance McCool. I’m sorry to be a bother but it seems that I have becom-“ that was all that Lance got out before the white unicorn tackled Lance and started to lustfully kiss him. Her lips continued to move lower and lower. Lance wanted to object, but decided against it. After all, a little relaxation after such a hectic day wouldn’t hurt.

The deed was done. Perhaps what the white alicorn said was true. Perhaps his destiny was to fuck all of the bitches. It seemed to work with this one at least. He even got to crash at her place in her lavish bed! It was going to be a restful night.

Lance McCool woke up to the smell of burned waffles. Not the best start, but something had to drag him out of the world of dreams. Lance McCool went down to investigate. In the kitchen, he saw a smaller version of the mare he had relations with. At first he thought he was still in dream land, but then she spoke.

“I’m so sorry Rarity. I really thought I had it this time. Perhaps next-Ah! You aren’t Rarity! And you are not one of her special “night time” clients! Who are you?” the tiny mare shouted. Her high pitched voice nearly burst his eardrums. Lance quickly tried to explain himself.

“I do frankly apologize. You see, I’m new in town and came to this boutique in order to-AH!” Lance McCool was cut off once again when the young filly tried to knock him down and tried to dominate him.

“Ah Hell No!” Lance McCool shouted. “I’m not into that shit!” Lance McCool then ran out of the boutique before he was put on the fillyphile list!

Lance McCool learned some things from that night and morning. One, his voice seemed to have some sort of power over any mare. Two, his looks seemed to stop mares in their tracks. Three, life was only going to get more and more crazy.

-THE END-

Author's Note

Thank for clicking on my story and somehow managing to get to the end of it. I hope you enjoyed it and feel free to leave any comments below. Or not. I won't judge. Have a wonderful day!