With Eyes of Blue

“AUTHENTIC READY TO PLAY SETO KAIBA ANIME DECK! PERFECT FOR COLLECTORS AND PLAYERS ALIKE! VERY LIMITED STOCK!”

Isn’t amazing how your perception of things can drastically change depending on your circumstances? As I stood right now, surrounded by an army of cat porcelain figurines and with the smell of mothballs and lavender viciously assaulting my nostrils, that ad was the second stupidest thing in the world. The first stupidest thing? Me, for coming here, of course.

As I contemplated the possibility of escaping through the nearby window, the little old lady came back into the living room, tightly holding a small pile of sealed cards in her right hand and with a joyful smile across her face. “Here you are, sonny.” She announced with great fanfare. “An authentic, ready to play, Seto Kaiba anime deck!”

The little old lady handed me the pile of cards, which I proceeded to examine closely. The top and bottom cards were placed with the back facing outwards, making it impossible to tell the contents of the pile without ripping the seal open, but beyond that they seemed to be in perfect condition. I smiled and asked tentatively. “Can I check them?”

She replied cheerfully. “Nope!”

I suspect my smile must have vanished faster than a fart on a storm, because she was quick to add. “There’s three copies of that dragon with blue eyes, one of the obelisk thingy and some more stuff.” I nodded very slowly. My mind was already working on a way to politely tell this little old lady that, as dumb as I was for replying to her ad and coming here, I wasn’t born yesterday, when she said. “It took me a month to build this one.”

No. Don’t you dare, little old lady. It’s bad enough you look just like my grandmother, God bless her soul, but don’t you dare try that with me. Alas, regardless of my attempts to Jedi Mind Trick her, the little old lady gave me the good old puppy dog eyes and said softly. “I’m afraid my pension is not enough these days.”

Wham. It’s a one hit knock out. I pulled out a hundred bill from my pocket, which she swiftly snatched from my hand and put inside her small, gaudy purse. “Thank you, sonny,” she said sweetly and extended her right hand towards me. Somehow, I found myself smiling genuinely as I accepted her handshake. At best, I got myself a nice deck of cards. At worst, I helped a little old lady add more cat porcelain figurines to her collection, I guess. Either way, that was my last thought before the whole world suddenly went blank.

I woke up with a jolt. My chest heaved as my eyes anxiously scanned the thinly lit room around me. I did a quick pat to make sure everything was in place. Wallet? Check. Pants? Check. Organs? Check. Alright. I stood up slowly and kept a crouching position while examining my surroundings. The room was espacious, but lacked any kind of windows; the only source of light being a single bulb on the ceiling. A basement perhaps? There were four wooden shelves on the walls to my sides, filled to the brim with all kinds of books, a blackboard covered with equations I simply could not decipher and a table with two chairs. Last but not least, there was a pair of pantyhose covered, slender, shapely legs in front of me.

My mind was filled with questions. Where was I? Did I get kidnapped? Did the little old lady really had such damn fine legs? Wait a minute. That wasn’t the little old lady from before, that was a schoolgirl. A schoolgirl? Yeah, at least that’s what I thought when I saw her attire. Brown shoes, a purple mini-skirt and a white shirt covered by a darker jacket all buttoned up. She seemed to be in her early twenties and was very pretty, with her pale skin and long, straight dark hair with a single purple stripe. The pretty girl looked at me studiously with her light brown eyes behind a pair of black rimmed glasses.

I suppose this is the part where I break the silence with a witty line or a ferocious declaration, but all that came out of my mouth was a short “uhh”. The pretty girl produced a pen light which she turned on and held in front of me, moving it left and right, up and down; my eyes followed her movements almost subconsciously. She turned the light off and let out a sigh of relief. The pretty girl adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat. It reminded me of a nerdy student about to begin her presentation. “Please don’t be afraid,” she said calmly. “You are in Equestria now. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I summoned you here.”

Have you ever seen one of those comedy movies with the record needle scratch sound effect? Yeah, it felt exactly like that. Twilight Sparkle? The pony? Seriously? Did I get kidnapped by a cosplayer? Admittedly, it didn’t bother me that much, with her being so attractive and with those amazing legs, but a bit of forewarning would have been nice. I mean, you just can’t kidnap a guy when he’s in the middle of a transaction with a little old lady and expect him to roleplay with you just like that. I stated flatly. “You’re a human.”

Twilight shook her head. “I am an Equestrian.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Our species are very similar, but there are still differences, starting with the innate ability to use magic.” She waved her hand dimissively. “But that’s not important right now.” Her demeanor suddenly turned very serious. “Tell me, do you know how to play Duel Monsters?”

I quirked my eyebrow in a way that would’ve made Dwayne Johnson proud. Duel Monsters? As in “Yu-Gi-Oh!”? Okay, stop. Stop it. This was getting way too silly for my tastes. I stood up fully, dusted myself and looked at Twilight intently. She was only slightly shorter than me. I asked sternly. “Can you please explain to me what’s going on first?”

Twilight stood firm. “Answer my question, please.”

I let out a breath of frustration and massaged the bridge of my nose. “Look, I don’t see what does knowing how to play a card game have to do with anything.”

A voice suddenly caught my attention. “Well, for one, you’re not going to need these if you don’t know how to play.” A young boy approached Twilight shuffling through a pile of cards. My cards. He wore white sneakers, blue jeans and a green shirt with a purple jogging hoodie over it. His hair was short and messy, of a pale green color, the same as his eyes.

Twilight swiftly chastised him. “Spike! You shouldn’t go around taking other people’s stuff!”

Spike? The baby dragon? This was some seriously dedicated cosplaying. Once again I found myself commenting flatly. “You’re a kid.”

Spike’s expression turned sour. He raised his index finger. “Number one, I’m ten years old.” Then the middle one. “And number two, I am a Dragonute.” He put extra emphasis on that last word. It was then I realized his pupils were slit, like that of a reptile. Those must have been some expensive contact lenses. Spike noticed my surprise and gave me a roguish grin that displayed a pair of especially developed fangs and made me take a step back. Right. I wish I had this much money to invest on my hobbies.

Twilight quickly cut him off. “That’s enough, Spike. Just give him his cards back.”

Spike protested. “But Twilight, he’s got a lot of rare cards here! Including three Blue-Eyes White Dragons!” Really? Cool. Guess the little old lady did not scam me after all.

Twilight snatched the cards and examined them. “I can’t believe it,” she muttered in awe. “I thought only Princess Celestia was in possession of these…”

An interesting bit of trivia, sure, but not important right now. I raised my right hand and called drily. “Excuse me, but I’m still here, you know.”

Twilight apologized sheepishly and, with a wave of her hand, levitated the pile of cards back to my hands. My jaw dropped. “That was magic.” I muttered. Holy shit. This was not a joke, this was the real deal. Not caring too much about my reaction, Twilight nodded and said. “Let’s start again from the beginning, shall we?” She put her hand over her chest and declared. “I am Twilight Sparkle, personal student of her highness, Princess Celestia, and this is my faithful assistant, Spike.” He puffed his chest outwards with pride. Twilight continued. “I was the one who summoned you here from the Earth with my magic…” She paused, her expression softened considerably. “Because we are desperate.”

I nodded slowly. The whole “desperate” thing did not exactly do wonders for my ego, but I imagined she had her reasons, so I kept my mouth shut and let her continue. “You see, one thousand years ago, a cruel tyrant known as King Sombra took over the Crystal Empire in the north of Equestria.” I nodded again. “The Crystal Empire” part one, got it. “He was defeated and vanished by the combined efforts of the Royal Sisters, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna…” Yeah, I remember that awesome combined magical attack. “But, as a final curse, he made the empire disappear along with him.” Okay, we’re following the plotline of the show so far. “Now, he has returned and is using his magic to force every single one of his subjects to fight for him.”

I blinked twice. “The Cutie Re-Mark” part one? I tilted my head slightly, Twilight’s clothes seemed too fit to hide a pair of wings, plus she hasn’t referred to herself as a Princess. Does this mean she didn’t become one? I went ahead and asked. “What does this have to do with Duel Monsters?”

Twilight’s expression turned grim. “With Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on the front lines, we quickly took the advantage, but something happened…” I listened attentively. “King Sombra started summoning monsters, powerful creatures that quickly turned the tide of the battle in his favor.” Twilight put her hand inside the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a pile of cards. “It didn’t take us long to realize they were the very same monsters depicted in these cards.” She flipped the one on top of the pile, revealing the Black Magician. “Duel Monsters, a game created using the notes of the ancient wizard, Starswirl the Bearded, as a basis; we tried to fight Sombra on equal terms with it…” Twilight confessed ruefully. “But the results have been less than satisfactory.”

There was a moment of silence were the gears in my head worked at full capacity to process the information. I finally dared to ask. “Is that why you brought me here?”

Twilight nodded. “I traced the origin of the game to the Earth and, seeing how it’s a much more technologically advanced world than Equestria, I was hoping to bring somebody who could help us in this battle or at least obtain some powerful cards.”

That made sense, except for one thing. “Why me? I mean, there are hundreds of professional players back on the Earth…”

Twilight bit her lower lip. “Well, you see…”

Spike quickly interjected. “Think about it like this.” He took a bunch of gems from inside a small vase on the nearby shelf and held them in front of me. “These gems are humans and my pocket is the Earth.” He put the gems inside the pocket of his hoodie. “The pocket is too small, which means I can only take them out one by one. Now, I know there’s a one hundred percent chance I will get a gem, but I won’t know which kind until I pull it out.” Spike picked an emerald and threw it inside his mouth with a flick of his thumb, chewing it contently with minimal effort before swallowing. “Get it?”

I nodded. “So, in short, it was pure luck?”

Twilight admitted embarrasedly. “Yes.”

I took a deep breath and tried to cool myself. That happened. “Okay, so, what are my options now?”

Twilight and Spike shared a glance. Then, she looked at me solemnly. “If you want, I can send you back to the Earth. In that case, you will have to leave your cards with us.” I could tell from her tone that was not a request. She continued with some hesitation. “Or, if you feel confident in your skills, you can help us fight…”

I put my clenched right hand over my mouth and glared at the floor. Alright, let’s try to analyze this situation in the most logical way possible. Presently I am located on an alternate version of Equestria where ponies are humans, sort of, and I am being asked by Twilight Sparkle herself to fight on a war using a card game as a weapon. Yep. Assuming I am not currently allucinating from inhaling the mixture of mothballs and lavender inside the little old lady’s house and this is all real, I don’t have any particular reason to take part in this conflict. Hell, even if I decided to go home, they would keep my cards, which would surely help them greatly. So, whatever option I pick, I would end up aiding them, right? Right?

I glanced at Twilight, who kept her eyes locked on me. She didn’t look angry, scared or even anxious. No, she had this aura of strenght and dignity, as if she was ready to keep going forward no matter what fate threw at her. Oh my God. This is what those heroes of legend felt when they embarked on a perilous quest for the sake of a woman, isn’t?

I lowered my arms, took a breath and said with all the confidence an office drone like me could possibly muster when faced with such a daunting task. “I’ll help you.” And for he first time since I arrived here, Twilight smiled. A pure and sincere smile that made her features glow and my heart skip a beat. She said softly. “Thank you.”

Spike grinned and gave me a thumbs up.

Feeling positively awesome, I clasped my hands together and asked enthusiastically. “What now?”

Twilight adjusted her glasses with a grin. “First of all, we will conduct a test duel.”

I frowned slightly. “Test duel?”

Twilight nodded. “As thankful as we are, we need to make sure you are properly familiarized with the way Duel Monsters is played here.”

“Oh right.” I chuckled sheepishly.

Twilight snapped her fingers and levitated a white Duel Disk from one of the nearby shelves towards my hands. I examined the device with fascination; it looked exactly like the mass production model from the Battle City arc. “That’s a Duel Disk.” She explained. “It absorbs the excess magical energy from its surroundings and focuses it to create solid holographic projections with a maximum level of interactivity.” Amazing. I tried to imagine what could become of the game if we had something like this back on the Earth. Twilight continued her lecture by pointing out the slots for the deck, extra deck and graveyard, as well as the monster, spell and trap zones; and how to play each card.

I imagine I must have looked like an eight years-old opening his birthday presents when I smiled and said. “Wow.” At least judging from the way Twilight giggled at my reaction. She asked with amusement. “Don’t you have these on your world?” Sure we did. They are made of cheap plastic, awkward to play with and make you look like a gigantic dork. I shook my head and replied. “Nope, we don’t.” Twilight tilted her head with a mixture of curiosity and disappointment. She went ahead and announced. “Spike will be your opponent.” He already had his Duel Disk adjusted around his right arm.

Spike smirked to me and said. “Don’t worry, I promise I won’t beat you too badly.” Almost as if his spirit was contagious, I found myself smirking too as I adjusted the Duel Disk around my left arm, it was surprisingly light and comfortable. I taunted back. “Show me what you got, Spike.”

Twilight declared we would duel outside and Spike took up the stairs with enviable speed. I followed her from behind, my eyes inevitably locking on her legs and going up until reaching her nicely shaped ass. They way her skirt swayed to the sides with every step she took, giving me occasional glimpses of her ass-cheeks, was practically hypnotic. I shook my head and mentally chastised myself.

We emerged into the main room of the Golden Oak Library. I stood in awe at the beautifully carved room; the shelves filled with books and scrolls, the ornate decorations on the walls, the stairs leading upwards; truly it was something out of an epic fantasy adventure. However, my amazement was soon replaced by confusion when Twilight opened the door and I saw we were surrounded by a deep, dark forest. The Everfree Forest. I looked around in shock. “I-Is this were you live?”

Spike put on his hood on and looked away while Twilight nodded slowly. “Our hometown, Ponyville, was taken by Sombra’s forces.” She informed grimly. “I managed to teleport our whole home inside this forest, the Everfree Forest, at the last minute. Fortunately for us, the enemy forces won’t venture this deep.”

I put my right hand over my forehead. It was crazy enough that every character seemed to be a human, or something similar, but now Ponyville was already taken? What happened to the remaining Mane Six then? Was King Sombra this powerful on the show? Did Duel Monsters truly give him that much of an edge? And what else could have possibly changed?

Twilight’s words broke me from my trance. “I’m sorry; I didn’t ask your name.” I pondered for a second, smiled and said. “Call me Joe.” She nodded. “Are you ready to begin?”

I nodded silently and inserted my deck into the Duel Disk; the device activated and unfolded itself in spectacular fashion. My deck was even shuffled automatically, a feature I was thankful for since I suck at card shuffling. A holographic display appeared above us, showing our life points as 4000. I frowned. Not 8000? This changes everything.

Both, Spike and I, drew our initial hands of five cards. He motioned with his head and said. “Go ahead, take the first turn.” I nodded and drew my first card. It suddenly dawned on me I hadn’t checked the contents of the deck yet. Hopefully all the times I’ve watched Seto Kaiba play will pay off. I placed a card on the disk and announced the summon of my first monster. “Cyclops!” The one-eyed, dark-skinned giant materialized on my side of the field. The sound of its breathing, the heat and smell emanating from its body; it truly felt like the monster was real. I gulped hard. Even with its lackluster stats, the Cyclops was thrice the size of a phone booth and had ripping muscles that made me feel it could tear off my arms like they were made of plastiline. I muttered to myself. “No wonder Sombra could back them into a corner.” I set a card and finished my turn.

With a wide grin, Spike drew the first card of his deck dynamically. “I summon Masked Dragon!” The serpentine dragon appeared with a loud hiss. He pointed with his index finger and declared the attack of his monster. “Heat Glare!” The Masked Dragon’s eyes glowed and my Cyclops immediately burst into flames, taking my life points down to 3800. I instinctively shielded my face, the heat of the flames feeling very real. Spike chuckled in satisfaction and declared. “Turn end!”

I could feel my heart beating furiously on my chest. My blood boiled and my hands trembled yet my lips twisted into a big smile. This was exciting! There was no other way to describe it! All that pointing, posing and yelling; it all made sense now! I drew a card and immediately activated my set Resurrection of the Dead to bring Cyclops back. The one-eyed giant clawed its way from the ground into the surface. I declared fiercely. “I sacrifice my Cyclops! Come, Sword Stalker of Revenge!” A demonic looking warrior appeared, his thorn and tattered wings billowing behind him like a cape as he swinged his sword menacingly. I continued by playing an equip spell. “Giganticize!” The Sword Stalker roared as his muscles burst and his attack points went from 2000 to 4000.

Spike did not seem bothered at all. No surprise there. I may be a casual player, but I know how Masked Dragon works. I declared the attack of my Sword Stalker of Revenge, his blade slicing through the dragon like a hot knife through butter. Sure enough, Spike summoned a dragon from his deck, calling its name with enthusiasm. “Black Dragon's Hatchling!” I blinked in surprise. This could only mean one thing. As Spike’s life points went down from 4000 to 1400, the Sword Stalker’s muscles shriveled and his attack points became 1000. I set a card and finished my turn.

Spike shouted. “Draw!” He picked a card from his hand and held it above his head, announcing his move dramatically. “I sacrifice my Black Dragon’s Hatchling!” Here it comes. The Black Dragon’s Hatchling burst into flames, transforming into its adult form. A jet-black dragon with scales sharpened like swords and eyes that shone like the finest rubies. “Come, Red-Eyes Black Dragon!”  Sweat dripped from my forehead as I felt the heat emanating from its mouth and the smell of sulfur that made my nose itch. The dragon roared fiercely, making me flinch. Spike smiled with pride and asked. “How do you like it?” If my memory served me well, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon represented “power” while the Red-Eyes Black Dragon represented “potential”. I smiled back and said. “Very fitting for you, Spike.”

Spike nodded towards my weakened Sword Stalker. “Don’t you think you rushed a bit by playing Giganticize?” He smiled mischievously. “Or do you have a trap prepared?” Without waiting for an answer, Spike summoned Mirage Dragon. The serpent-like golden dragon appeared next to him from a cloud of mist. Spike pointed at it with his thumb. “As long as this guy is here, you won’t be able to activate traps in battle.”

I smiled. “I know.” My Sword Stalker let out a pitiful moan, his body withering and dissolving into a cloud of black dust as I activated my trap card. “Deck Destruction Virus of Death!” One of Seto Kaiba’s signature cards. By sacrificing a dark monster with 1000 or less attack points, I can destroy all of my opponent’s monsters with 1500 or more attack on their field, hand and every single one they draw during the following three turns. The black cloud enveloped the two dragons and they fell dead like flies. Spike flinched and wordlessly dumped his entire hand into his graveyard. I tilted my head in surprise. That certainly went better than expected.

“Draw.” I did not waste any time in summoning Gargoyle Powered and ordering a direct attack. The crimson demon slashed Spike across the chest, making him fall on his ass and taking his life points down to zero. I did not even have to bring the Blue-Eyes White Dragon, in the end. As the monster vanished, I fell on my knees, exhausted. Spike hopped back on his feet, pulled back his hood and approached me with a sullen look on his face. He put both hands inside his pockets and said. “That was luck, you know.” I laughed meekly and said. “That’s part of the game too, you know.”

Twilight approached and complimented us for our performance. I smiled and asked tentatively if that meant I was “qualified”. She adjusted her glasses, smiled and said. “I’ll give you a passing grade.” I laughed. Harsh. I stood up, dusted myself and said. “What now?”

Twilight’s expression turned somber. “Now we head for Ponyville.”