Unbranded

As I walked the cobblestone paths of Ponyville, the previously bright sky had been filled with a soft, fading glow of crimson. Seeing the beautiful aura of twilight, I couldn’t help but slow my pace and take extra care to enjoy my surroundings; one look at this sky could ease my heart and give me peace, no matter the circumstances. Ignoring Twilight Sparkle’s advice, I let my hooves aimlessly carry me around the streets. Most of the houses I passed were stout and wooden, with a simple frame and symmetrical design, but occasionally I would see the house of the more affluent, with careful decoration and structural eccentricities.

I walked past a wooden bulletin board where a large flyer caught my eye. From a distance I could clearly see a unicorn horn and a large font reading “TESTERS WANTED!” Thinking it could be work, I decided to examine the flyer more carefully.

“The Alicorn Research Center has created a new device called the Hypershoe. These horseshoes are infused with alicorn materials that allow the user to perform magic without the user being a unicorn. Testers are wanted to test the efficiency and ease-of-use of—“ I chuckled, my eyes trailing from the page. It’s taken them this long to catch up. As the thought rolled through my head, I felt a sinking sensation in my heart. My heart started to speed up as I glanced behind me, expecting to see somepony there, grinning teasingly. This flyer cannot be just a coincidence. Somepony must be toying with me. Run as I might, the past always seemed to catch up with me. No, I can’t face this, I won’t. I failed. Confronting it won’t change that fact. I was a failure chasing the wrong dream. I have to accept it. Though just as part of me was convinced I was wrong, part of me was just as convinced that I was right. In my self-loathing, I decided to take a trip to the bar that was just down the street and try to drown away all thoughts of the past.

The dimly lit bar was surprisingly busy this early at night, but I paid little attention to anypony in the room. The last thing I needed was a drunken buffoon to pick a fight because my flank was unadorned. I stepped up to a chair at the bar and dropped myself carelessly onto the dark-stained wood. “Double shot of brandy,” I called out to a stallion behind the bar. The bartender gave me a quick nod and in within a few moments a short glass filled with a pale-amber liquid slid my way. I dug into my saddlebag and tossed a few bits onto the counter. I picked up the glass and quickly tipped the liquid into my mouth, swallowing as soon as all liquid left the glass. It left a burning sensation as it passed and I gave a light involuntary cough. So it’s come down to this. You’re just another Berry Punch, drinking away your problems. My thoughts teased me and haunted me as I let the ethanol slowly absorb into my bloodstream. I wonder if she had a similar past, haunted by failures and misforgivings. Then again… she does have a cutie mark. I broke off the train of thoughts by waving for the bartender and calling out “Another, please.” Again an amber filled glass slid across the table and was sent down my throat. However, my contemplative follow-up was interrupted by a unfamiliar cream-color mare that approached me.

“Do you mind if I buy you a drink?” the mare offered with a warm smile that caused my mind to still itself. She was a pegasus with an emerald mane and a cloud cutie-mark.

“Sure, by all means,” I responded, pointing at an adjacent chair with my hoof. As she sat down, I began to notice the creeping sense of warmth in my face. The brandy was starting to kick in, and I felt my body loosening up.

“Can I get two hard ciders over here,” she called out to the bartender. As the drinks slid our way, she pushed one to me, still smiling, “my name’s Emerald Cloud.”

“Violet Flash,” I said, returning the courtesy, “um, so, what brings you over here?” Well, always suave with the ladies.

She gave a cute giggle and took a drink from her glass. “Well, I’m visiting a friend in Ponyville, and I saw you sitting by yourself. So I figured I’d give you some company,” she responding, “and plus, I wanted to ask you about your flank.”

“M-my what?!” I stammered, nearly knocking over my glass. Drunkenness was starting to set in.

She put her hoof against her forehead and laughed. “Don’t be silly, it’s blank! I’m not that kind of mare,” she giggled, pointing at my empty flank.

“Oh… right,” I responded, looking crestfallen. I looked away from her and took a large swig of my drink. Emerald’s smile disappeared as she saw my response.

“No, don’t take that the wrong way. I’m not judging you… I’m curious, what happens to somepony to make them lose their cutie mark!” she responded comfortingly.

“Lose?” I puzzled, “Oh, no. I never got my cutie mark to begin with…” Not wanting to see her reaction, I took another drink from my glass.

“You never got a—“ she started to respond, “surely you have a special talent. Everypony does, right?” I glanced over towards her and saw her staring straight back at me, her emerald eyes intently trying to read me. Between those inquisitive eyes and my drunken mind, I couldn’t hold back my story.

“Well, I thought I did… you see, a few years back, I used to a promising alicorn engineer. I was one of the first ever, actually, and everypony was impressive by all of my devices,” I started rambling, “I actually created a hoof attachment that allowed for precise magical capabilities; years before this new Supershoe, or whatever the hell they call it. Dammit, I teleported across a room with it years ago and they still haven’t gotten that far yet!” My drunkenness started to get the better of me as I felt a sense of excitement and exuberance.

“Well, if you were so good at it, why didn’t you get a cutie mark in it.” For the first time, I saw a hint of concern in her eyes, though in my drunkenness I didn’t think anything of it.

“I… I … it just wasn’t right for me. I realized I was making a mistake.” I dejectedly responded. I grabbed my glass and drank what remained in it.

“It certainly doesn’t sound like it,” she continued, her face painted with worry.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH. I WAS A FAILURE.” I yelled drunkenly as frustration boiled to the surface. The look of pure horror on her face broke my spell of anger and as I looked around, I could see everypony in the bar staring at me. My heart started racing and my face flushed a deep red. “I-I’m, I’m sorry. I should go,” I quickly leapt out of the chair, struggling to maintain balance and cantered out of the bar, swaying heavily as I walked out into the now-dark streets of Ponyville.

I stumbled around the dark streets, trying to find my way home. However, in my heavy inebriation, I found this to be a much more difficult task that I would’ve ever expected. I should’ve known this would happen. I’m such a lightweight. I chastised myself in my head. As I observed the surrounding buildings, trying to get a bearing on where I was, I haphazardly knocked into a pony, nearly knocking us both over.

“I-I’m so sorr—wait, Twilight? Is that you?” I said, perking up upon noticing the violet mare standing before me.

“Violet?!” she started, a look of concern in her eyes, “what happened to you? Are you drunk?”

“I-I-I- I’m sorry,” I stammered, not sure what to say. I didn’t want to make her angry or worry her, but at the same time, I was in no state to be able to handle myself. Twilight just shook her head and sighed at me.

“Violet, you really need to figure yourself out. You can’t keep—“ Twilight began.

“No, please. Save me the speech, I know, I fucked up. I really fucked up,” I interjected as my eyes drooped and a look of sadness covered my face. Upon noticing Twilight cringe at my language I hastily added, “Sorry… I didn’t mean to offend you; those kinds of words just come out sometimes.”

Twilight just sighed again and gave me a sympathetic look, “You’re in no state to take care of yourself right now. You shouldn’t be out on your own. I’ll walk you back to my house, it’s much closer than yours is.” After pausing for a second, she added, “it’ll be safer.”

As we walked to her house, I was still quite drunk and my canter had a noticeable sway to it. Every now and then, Twilight would have to briefly flare up her horn and stabilize me; I was a mess. Within a few minutes of walking, we were at her door, and the adept unicorn quickly opened it using her magic. Books and papers of all colors and shapes were strewn everywhere. Though this sight was not all too unfamiliar; for someone who reveled in order and structure, she did have a good tendency to get so caught up in her work that order went to hell.

Without even a word being mentioned, a few glowing pillows levitated down the stairs and landed neatly in a pile. “Make yourself at home, and… try to ignore the piles of books. I got a little caught up in research into microscopic thermal-wave energy propagation. It’s really fascinating stuff!” she said, trying to be a welcoming as possible despite the mess. I trotted over to the pile and clumsily sat myself down.

“Twilight, you were right. I need to face my past,” I blurted out suddenly, “I’ve realized something. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about alicorn, about what I’ve done. Back then it was my life. It was my everything! I loved it, I think more than I loved myself. But, one failure made me doubt myself, and it managed to shake me to the core.” My heart raced as I spoke and I felt myself get a little more flushed. Twilight gave me a strange look, a mixture of curiosity and confusion; she had never heard this part of my story before. No one had.

“You never told me what happened?” she probed, an eyebrow raised. Though I was usually unwilling to tell this story, alcohol changes a pony.

“Well… I decided that I needed a way to seal my cutie mark. What better way to do that to work on a massive project. I called it my magnum opus, for if I succeeded, it would revolutionize the science,” I began my story, “I spent months planning it, designing every last bit of it. When I finally had a sufficient design that I believed would work, I built it. However, something that I never expected happened. The microfilament alicorn matrix network I created—something that my project could not begin to function without— would not fire. I couldn’t figure out what went wrong, I was sure my calculations were correct. I took it as a sign that my project was impossible, and that without it, I believed there was no way I could get a cutie mark in alicorn engineering. I felt hopeless and I gave up on the field.” As I spoke, sadness fell over me. I had desperately wanted to succeed, more than anything. A piece of my soul was snatched away that day, and now even the thought of the field tended to throw me into a deep depression. As I looked at Twilight, she had an even stranger look on her face, like she was half in disbelief and half in deep thought.

“I have this strange feeling that something is missing. Something in your story doesn’t add up. Science just doesn’t fail like that without a cause,” she proclaimed. I had forgotten that she was a mare of science and believed that there was nothing that was impossible. She pulled up a book and flittered through it, “Violet, I think there are more things going on her than meet the eye. I think your cutie mark is in alicorn engineering, look at how you talk about it!” My head drooped as she said that. Looks like I can’t keep running from this forever. “But don’t worry. I’ll help you figure this out. I’ll help you get your cutie mark!” My eyes perked up at her proclamation.

“Wait, you’ll really help me do this?” I said, puzzled.

“Of course, what are friends for?” she replied, smiling warmly. I felt a sense of ease as she said that. Perhaps it will be possible. The thought of not having to go through it alone made it a lot more palatable. “I’ll be right back. I need to quickly find a book I left upstairs.” The mare quickly teleported upstairs, leaving me by myself. Between the sense of calm that I now felt and my increasing sobriety, I found my eyes closing on me. I struggled to stay awake, to at least say goodnight to the mare that seemed to be fixing all of my problems, but before she returned, I was cast to sleep.