"I still can't believe it happened.", Rainbow said as she sat leaning against Pinkie Pie.
"Me neither.", Pinkie said, running her hoof through Rainbow's mane slowly, as if a harder touch could ruin the delicate balance instilled in her. As if one touch could shatter the already crumbling heart that Rainbow now called her own.
A tear traced it's way down Rainbow's cheek; plopped down in Pinkie's lap. Rainbow noticed, and said, "just how Scootaloo would plop down on my lap."
Pinkie held her, wiping away her tears with her dry hooves. Rainbow had been lightly crying for an hour now. Just in a trance. Not quite believing what had happened. Stuck in limbo. In between fragile denial, sanity, and unconscious acceptance. In the end acceptance and sanity would overtake the denial, but not yet.
So Pinkie said the only thing she could think of saying. She said the most cliche thing to be said. She said, "I'm sorry."
And she was answered with, "you didn't do anything."
"And you did?", Pinkie said calmly.
"Yes!", Rainbow shouted, the tears coming more freely.
Pinkie could see that the words were hard, but would come more easily.
"I could have stopped it!", Rainbow shouted, the anguish in her heart reaching her soul and all the emotions beyond.
"Now Dashie, is that true?", Pinkie asked, her mane proofing up. "Surely it wasn't all your fault."
"I should've seen what her home life was like. I should've seen it. I should've been less ignorant, more observant. I should've taken her with me. Showed her a life that was great. Not full of pain and life alone, pushing it all inside herself to hide her feelings to be tough. To appear tough. To impress me. And what if that was what killed her?", Rainbow said, taking a shaky breath. Staring out the window in Pinkie's bedroom as if it held the ghosts of her and Scootaloo. Maybe an invisible movie that would replay all the fun things that had happened.
Before the accident. Before the bandages. Before the blood. Before the mistake Rainbow had made, sending her home alone. Not seeing the scars beneath the smiles and the laughs that the little filly had given her as she rambled on about her self on and on. Day on and day off. She regretted not asking more about Scootaloo. Not volunteering. Not taking her under her wing in time. Not being there long enough. Walking out, regardless of what Scoots might have had to face when she went home that night. What might have happened on the way? When she got home? If Rainbow had been there would this have happened? If she had stayed with Rainbow, if Rainbow had offered, would Scootaloo had been found the next day in a box? In the street, dead? From starvation, or homicide or suicide, or any number of other things? It all could have been prevented if Rainbow had done one thing. Stayed loyal to the little pegasus. Walked her home. Spent more time with her. Muzzled her more often. Let her stay maybe few minutes longer. Watched her from the clouds as she mad her way back to wherever she lived. Ask more questions. Listened more. Had she not had been so shallow, so disloyal, where would Scootaloo be now? Probably safe! Probably in Rainbow's arms. By the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Laughing. Even faking enjoyment as Rainbow blubbered on and on about her many accomplishments. But what if Scootaloo just wanted to be loved? Not lectured, or shown off for. Just loved. Held and admired, cuddled and complimented. These were all things Rainbow should've done but didn't. And it hurt! So bad!
"Dashie!", Pinkie said softly. The party pony knew when to be loud and and brash. But she also knew when to be tender. Especially when stuff like this happened.
Rainbow Dash still stared out Pinkie's window, glaring as if the answer to all her problems were hidden in the glass, and Rainbow just wasn't good enough to see them.
Obviously being really tender wasn't working. Pinkie needed to try a different approach. Tough and tender.
"Rainbow Dash!", Pinke yelled.
"Huh?", Rainbow said, yanking herself from her mental pool of self guilt.
"Dashie I am talking to you. And you better listen.", Pinkie said calmly.
"Okay," Rainbow said sniffling.
"Rainbow Dash," Pinkie started. "While it is accurate that there is a tiny percent chance that you might have affected Scootaloo's fate directly that night, you probably did not. So quit beating yourself up. It's not worth it."
Rainbow just looked up at Pinkie, mouth agape. Shocked that the party pony could be so deep, no doubt.
"Also," Pinkie continued, "I Pinkie Promise that you are not the reason that Scootaloo is dead. So stop acting like it. You're in denial, Raimbow Dash. And the most awesome pegasus in Ponyville does not do denial!"
Ranbow cried a little more, sniffling. Her tears slowly stopping. "You promise it wasn't my fault?", she asked Pinkie, as her last tear fell on the floor.
"Yes," Pinkie said. Then she held Rainbow until she fell asleep, and when Rainbow fell asleep, she carried her up to her bedroom, and they both lay, hooves intertwined in a lover's embrace, until sunrise.
