12 Days of WTF

by GunsRGreat

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Comedy
Length: 1811

The girls all decide to spend Christmas together.

The girls… and Steele, decide to spend Christmas together with Steele since he has no parents. What will go on during the day, he don't know.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-03 05:00:01 UTC

12 Days of WTF

Oh Christmas tree! Oh Christmas- FUCK YOU IT'S THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER!

Yeah that's right! Middle of summer and I'm doing a fucking Christmas thingy, why I don't know, what I do know is that I keep forgetting to put the r in Christmas and I have to go back and put it in every time. Anywho...

The girls were all at Steele's house so they could give him the real spirit of Christmas... this sounds like an opening of a porno. They were all opening presents and having a good time.

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Square- Why am I singing this?" asked Steele to himself.

"Darling, aren't you going to open up your present?" asked Rarity. Steele was caught off guard of her sudden interruption.

"Uh yeah sure." said Steele as he quickly threw on a smile. He bent down to pick up a blue box with yellow ribbon on it. The card said, To Steele From Rarity. Steele was wondering what was in it. He opened it up to reveal a black leather jacket with a fur hood. He was awestruck by this as his old jacket was getting a little small. He always wanted another jacket, especially one with a fur hood. Now he could look rich like he always wanted. He was at a loss of words.

"Rarity, this is greatest thing I've ever received in my entire life... actually it's the only thing I've received in my entire life." said Steele.

"Aw thank you darling." Rarity began. "I know how much you like leather since you go on and on about it. And since it's winter, I though maybe I'll get you a fur hood as well." Steele then took off his old jacket and set it aside. He then put on the new jacket, and it felt absolutely wonderful, it was so comfortable.

"It fits perfectly." commented Steele.

"OOHH! OOHH! DO MINE!" yelled Pinkie. Steele bent down and saw an over-decorated pink present. He carefully opened it up to reveal a pink cupcake... yeah of course he was at a loss of words.

"Oh a cupcake... thank's Pinkie." said Steele trying not to hurt her feelings. Pinkie in returned smiled back. Steele then saw a present that was from Applejack. "Time for yours Applejack." He bent down and opened up the orange present to reveal... an apple slicer.

"An apple slicer.... thanks." Steele once again chose his words carefully as he set the apple slicer down.

"How about you do mine, it's going to be awesome because it's from me." said Rainbow. Steele already knew which one was from Rainbow, it was the rainbow present. *insert Woody's laugh from Toy Story*

He opened up the present to reveal a football. Steele never was a person to play sports, but she knew that he likes football.

"A football. Thanks Rainbow. Maybe later we could play some." suggested Steele.

"Alright, but I do have to warn you... I am pretty awesome at it." said Rainbow.

"I thought soccer was your thing." Steele then bent down to get Fluttershy's present. He opened it to reveal a a dog collar and dog shampoo. Steele was confused because he doesn't own a dog. "Uh, Fluttershy, I don't-"

"It's for when you do get one." she said in a quiet shy tone. Steele blinked and set the present aside. Steele tried looking for Sunset's but he couldn't find it anywhere.

"Uh Sunset, where's your-"

"It'll be here soon." replied Sunset. Steele blinked again. He looked down and saw another present.

"Oh yeah forgot about this one." said Steele as he bent down to get it. All the girls were confused because they all gave their presents and Sunset's was on the way.

"Steele. Who's that from?" asked Rainbow.

"It's a present to me, from me." He replied as he opened it up to reveal a noose. The girls gasped at this sight. He put the noose over his head. "Fit's perfectly. I'll use this later on." Steele threw the noose away.

"Steele darling. As I recall over today, didn't you say that you voiced a few lines in a Christmas carol?" asked Rarity. Steele again was caught off guard.

"Oh yeah I was." replied Steele.

"Would you let us listen to the song?"

"It's actually a music video. Hold on I'll type it in." Steele then bent down to his computer and typed up the song. His computer was connected to the TV so they could all watch on a bigger screen instead of a smaller one. They all got ready, especially Pinkie who got popcorn from no where, probably from her back pocket. Steele clicked on a video and it started.

*12 Days of Christmas theme*

On the 1st day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

a broken bumper car!

On the 2nd day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

2 years in jail,

and a broken bumper car!

On the 3rd day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

and a broken bumper car!

On the 4th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

4 robbers robbing,

3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

and a broken bumper car, which I hate!

On the 5th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

5 dollars left,

4 robbers robbing,

3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

I hate this broken bumper car!

On the 6th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

6 bombers bombing,

5 dollars left,

4 robbers robbing,

Come on, 3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

Fuck this broken bumper car!

On the 7th day of Christmas,

my feindliche gave to me,

7 Kriegstaffebots

6 bombers bombing,

5 dollars left. I need an ATM,

4 ROBBERS ROBBING,

Fuck, 3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

And thi-this broken-- BROKEN BUMPER CAR! For serious!

On the 8th day of Christmas,

this mudak gave to me,

8 bottles of vodka,

7 Kriegstaffebots,

6 bombers bombing,

5 dollars left. Wallet, wallet!

4 ROBBERS ROBBING.

3 engines lost,

2 fucking years in jail,

Fuck this broken bumper car! Where did you get this fucking thing!

On the 9th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

9 raping monkeys,

8 bottles of vodka,

7 Kriegstaffebots,

6 bombers bombing,

5 dollars left. ATM! ATM!

4 ROBBING ROBBERS,

3 engines lost,

2 years in jail,

I can't even fuck with this broke shit bumper car! I mean seriously

On the 10th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

10 racist cops,

9 raping monkeys,

8 bottles of vodka,

7 Kriegstaffebots,

6 bombers bombing,

5 dollars left,

4 ROBBERS ROBBING,

AWAAAWAHHHH OH NOOOOO!

2 years in jail,

YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS CAR! FUCK YOU! FUCK THIS SONG!

On the 11th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to- FUCK!

11 PREGNANT WOMEN,

10 racist cops,

9 raping monkeys,

8 bottles of vodka,

7 Kriegstaffebots,

6 bombers bombing,

5-dollars-left. Wallet! Wallet!

4 ROBBING ROBBERS,

AWAAAAHHH FUCKING BUILDING!

2 years in jail,

*cries uncontrollably*

On the 12th day of Christmas,

my enemy gave to me,

12 bags of shit,

11 PREGNANT WOMEN,

10 racist cops,

All monkeys raping,

8- *burping loudly*

7 Kriegstaffe- OH GOD! *bullets and flamethrowers began to be heard*

6 bombers *explosion*

5 dollars left. I'm out of fucking money!

WHERE'S THE GETAWAAAAAAAY!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! *crashes*

AND A BROKEN BUMPER CAAAAAAR!

SOMEONE KILL MEEEEEEE!

*Someone rips of their jacket*

ALLAHU AKBAR!

*explosion*

The girls were confused at this song. It was basically a parody of the actual 12 days of Christmas, but with more violence and randomness and yelling.

"I LOVED IT!" yelled Pinkie.

About a few hours passed since the... whatever the video was called, and everyone was in the front of Steele's house, getting ready to go home.

"Merry Christmas darling." said Rarity as she gave Steele a hug. Steele in returned hugged her back.

"We sure hope you have one sugarcube." said Applejack.

"And don't forget about the Christmas party AND the New Year's Eve Party!" exclaimed Pinkie. Steele looked at her with lidded uninterested eyes.

"I'll think about it." said Steele. Sunset then came from down the street towards Steele. She had to go to the school in order to get the present she wanted to give it him. It was a small black box. She walked over to him with a slight blush on her face.

"Steele." she began.

"Yeah." he said with a blank face.

"This gift is from me to you. I know how much you like money and all so I asked Twilight if one of her friends can make it." She then grabbed his hand, causing her to blush harder, and making Steele blush slightly. She then put the bracelet on his right wrist, looked up at him and smiled. He stared at the bracelet for mere seconds before turning his eyes on her.

"Sunset." he said.

"Yes." she said.

"... I have the same bracelet on my other hand!" he said with a smile.

Youtube Video

*baby crying*

"Well that was anti-climatic!" exclaimed Rainbow as she threw her arms in the air.

"But I still love it non the less." he finished. She smiled sweetly at him. He then spread his arms out, offering a hug. "Merry Halloween."

Nostalgia Critic: That's Christmas you moron!

They then hugged each other, causing the others to, 'awww' and 'still anti-climatic'. They ended the hug, with Sunset blushing madly. Steele noticed the blushing and smiled deviously.

"I think I know why you're called Sunset." this caught Sunset off guard.

"You do?" asked Sunset.

"Because your cheeks are like the sunset." Sunset then realized what he meant and she blushed even harder, but decided to let it go.

"Thank you." she said sweetly.

"No I'm serious, you should really see a doctor for that. I think you have a rash or having an allergic reaction." Sunset now had a confused/annoyed look.

"Thank you?" she asked confusingly and sarcastically at the same time.

"Well, I think it's time to go. You ready darling?" asked Rarity. Sunset turned to her.

"Ready." she said walking over with her friends. They started walking away.

"Have a Merry Christmas Steele!" yelled Applejack. Steele waved back at them before going into his house. Rainbow smiled deviously at Sunset.

"You should really kiss him on New Year's Eve." said Rainbow causing Sunset to blush madly.

"That's if he doesn't kill himself. Remember the noose." said Fluttershy shyly.

"Oh we won't have to worry about that." said Applejack as she had the noose over her shoulder.

*Inside Steele's house*

"Where the fuck is my noose?!" His closet door then swung opened, revealing a guy from the Christmas Song.

"ALLAHU AKBAR!" yelled the man. The explosion happened shortly afterwards.