It was a bright and cheery Sunday morning in the city of Bromley U.K. As the yellow pink haired Pegasus made her way down the street. past the rows and rows of old fashioned buildings and shops. This vacation had been just what Fluttershy needed. she would have to remember to thank Discord for recommending England to her as a vacation spot. She stopped in front of a building. “The Green Midget Cafe” read the sign above of the establishment. Fluttershy was hungry having rushed out of her hotel this morning eager to see all the wonders sites. Thus she decided to go in and give this place a try. She had never had human food before but how bad could it be.
She waltzed threw the door and was greeted by a small quaint looking shop. It was plain but not at all unpleasant. With about 4 or 5 tables with chairs situated about the room. At one table near one of the coroners sat four burly bearded Vikings in full regalia. At another sat a thin man in a bowler hat and fine suit with his frumpy looking wife. Behind the counter was a tall women with a chiseled jaw and way to much makeup. dressed in a pink dress with apron and reading the morning post. Fluttershy walked up to the counter.
“Good morning” Fluttershy said.
The women behind the counter looked down at her then said in a thick cockney accent. “Morning, well well look at what we have here a talking pony and a flying one at that aint that just a kick in the knickers. Where did you come from then? on second thought never mind your moneys probably as good as any other, so whatl it be?”
Fluttershy thought for a moment then responded. “Well what do you have?”
“well" said the women.
"theirs egg and spam,
egg bacon and spam,
egg bacon sausage and spam,
spam bacon sausage and spam,
spam eggs spam spam bacon and spam,
spam spam spam egg and spam,
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam,
Fried spam with spam fries carrots ranch with bacon and spam,
Spam salad with spam bits bacon ranch dressing and spam,
Stir fried Spam with rice and spam,
or Lobster Thermidor with a Mornay sauce and spam.”
Fluttershy looked confused “Um what is spam?” she asked.
The man in the bowler hat turned around. “Oh you will love it I'm having the spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam spam ...”
Just then the vikings at the other table broke into song.
“Spamly spam wonderful spam! Spam spam spam Spamly spam wonderful spam!”
The lady behind the counter began banging a ladle on the counter almost immediately as she shouted. “Shut up! shut up! shut up!”
The vikings stopped, Fluttershy looked a bit scared. “Um well... could I get spam spam spam spam spam baked beans and spam without the spam?”
“No! You cant have spam spam spam spam baked beans and spam without the spam in it.” Said the lady.
“Well why not?” Fluttershy said a little peeved.
“Well it wouldn't be spam spam spam spam spam baked beans and spam without the spam now would it.” She responded.
The vikings once again broke out into song.
“Spamly spam wonderful spam! Spam spam spam Spamly spam wonderful spam!”
The lady behind the counter once again began to bang the counter and scream for them to shut up and the they did.”
Fluttershy looked back at the lady. “well OK I guess IL give it a try, IL have Fried spam with spam fries carrots ranch with bacon and spam”
“Right that will be six pence.” she said Fluttershy paid her and her food came out promptly.
She took it back to a table and grabbed a fork. She stabbed the spam with it and looked at it, she wasn't sure what spam was but if they put it in so much it must be good she figured. At least is smelled good, she stuck the piece in her mouth and began to chew.
Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated as she tasted it and a smile broke over her face. The slightly salty taste the pleasing texture Fluttershy adored it, Before she knew it she had broken out into open song.
“Oh what is this food filled with so many wonders, casting its spell that I am now under! OH! I love this....”
“Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up” The sound of the shrill lady banging her counter broke Fluttershy out of her euphoria.
Fluttershy blushed as she realized she had flown up into the air and the whole cafe was staring at her. “sorry” she said as she came back down to sit in her seat again. she stabbed another piece of spam with her fork. She then turned to the man in the hat.
“Oh my... this spam stuff is wonderful what is it?” she asked.
“Pork mostly with a bit of ham and some other meat stuffs.” The man said.
Fluttershy's eyes widened as she doped her fork and the spam on it to the ground.
“did you say meat, as in animals?” Fluttershy said as her stomach began to make weird gurgling sounds. She turned green and her hooves went up and covered her mouth in an attempt to hold back the inevitable.
“yeah its its a meat product with a bit of filler and a lot of salt.” Said the man in the bowler hat, That was a mistake.
Fluttershy was subsequently banned from the cafe for life and slapped with a rather large cleaning bill for both the cafe and it patrons clothes. As even the mightiest dam on earth would not have been able to hold back the torrent of stomach contents that came spewing out of the Pegasus and covered every inch of the cafe in a think layer of vomit.
Fluttershy never again tasted the wonder that is spam.
