Author's Note
Welcome to Blaze! This story is largely driven by prompts from the Twilestia is Bestia regular prompt collab. The first two chapters follow fairly closely with their canon episode counterparts. This is intentional. However, accusations of copying them word for word will be summarily ignored; It's coincidence beyond plot similarity.
I'd also like to thank ArguingPizza for writing the first prompt in this AU and allowing me to run with it in my own direction.
Chapter 1: Competition
Applejack trotted back to the barn, her saddle-baskets laden with the day’s harvest. “Phew, am Ah glad we got that Golden Delicious orchard harvested. Ah bet Big Macintosh that we could get it done before lunch, and since Ah won, he’s gonna walk through town wearin’ one o’ Grannie’s girdles! Ha!”
Celestia huffed and puffed behind her, equally laden with a mound of apples in her saddle-baskets. “I’m glad we’re finished, too. I could eat a house.”
“Don’t let Pinkie hear you say that, she might either break off a piece o’ Sugar Cube Corner or ban ya steppin’ near, dependin’.”
Spike, sat on Celestia’s back, rooted through the baskets searching for the perfect apple. “No, no, worm, no...”
“Would she really?” Celestia asked, eyebrow raised. “Break off a piece of her house, I mean. Is that possible?”
“Ah haven’t the faintest.”
Spike belched green flames and smoke as another apple bounced off of Celestia’s head. A scroll sealed with a series of starbursts materialized and fell into Spike’s outstretched hands.
“Ahem!” he said. “Her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria cordially invites you to the Grand Galloping Gala. Held annually at Canterlot Castle, the Grand Galloping Gala promises the best night of the year. Blah, blah, blah. Enclosed are two tickets for Celestia Solaris and one guest!”
Celestia gasped. “Princess Twilight said she’d invite me once I came of age!” She squealed. ‘The Grand Galloping Gala!”
“Say, sugarcube, any chance Ah could be yer plus one? An opportunity to peddle the ol’ Apple family sweets wouldn’t be amiss. Might even go so far as ta make ya an honourary member. If’n that’s alright with ya.”
“I—I— Let’s get these apples into the barn, and, uh, let me think about it. I know we have this magical and powerful connection, and I’d love to give any of you girls my second ticket, I— well, that’s just it, isn’t it? I’d give any of you the second ticket.
Celestia covered her muzzle with her hooves while her friends argued all around her. “STOP!” she shouted at the top of her lungs. Everypony froze. “I can’t choose, OK? Each of you, all of you! You’re dear to me. You’re my friends. I can’t make a decision like that and then live with disappointing even just one of you, let alone four.” Celestia looked down and to the side while she summoned a small bit of parchment and a quill. “So if we all can’t go, none of us will go.
“Dear Princess Twilight,” she recited while writing, “While I appreciate the invite to the Gala, I’m afraid I will not attend unless all of my friends can come with me. Even if I could make two of my friends very happy, I could not live with disappointing even one of them. As such, I’m returning the tickets with my sincerest apologies. Your ever faithful student, Celestia.
“Send it, Spike.” Celestia magicked the scroll over to the young dragon and in a puff of green flames, the letter sped away in a beeline to Canterlot.
“Admit it, you were scared to death that she’d outright say no.”
“Hush, Shiny,” Twilight muttered, betrayed by the cursed red blush staining her normally pristine lavender muzzle. “She’s a grown mare and can make her own decisions as to how she spends her time, even if I had made promises for years that she could spend the Gala by my side. I did stipulate that she needed to become of age, Gala rules and all, but...”
“Chasing jailbait, eh?”
Shining Armor found himself pummeled from all sides with pillows, the least enjoyable of which seemed to be some sort of hard, formed foam that became a particular pain in his neck, in spite of its intended purpose.
Furious scribbling followed Prince Armor’s slow crawl to consciousness.
To my faithful student Celestia, why didn’t you say so? Here are eight tickets and carte blache, if you will, to invite anypony you see fit. I hope to see you soon. Yours sincerely, your mentor, Princess Twilight.
“Hold up, eight tickets?”
“Haven’t I talked about my sister, Luna? She’s... well, not exactly Princess Twilight’s personal student, but she attends the school on an astronomy fellowship made just for her...”
Chapter 3: Clover Shampoo
Celestia rolled her shoulders and stretched as the squeal of the train’s brakes died down. In the distance, she could still hear the gentle chug of the steam engine belching superheated water into the mountain air of the capital.
“Ah, Canterlot!” Rarity sighed once they’d disembarked. “Don’t you just love this city, Celestia?” Rarity twirled around, her mane and tail whipping around just behind her as she took in the sights and sounds of the glorious mountain capital that is Canterlot.
Celestia trotted at more sedate pace than her enamored friend. “I’ve missed it, yes, but I can hardly say that I’ve even been gone long. It’s not even been a year. It’ll be nice to catch up with everypony, but I’m not, well, I’ve seen the sights. I did live here.” She chuckled. “And aren’t we here on ‘business?’” she asked.
“Yes, we are, darling. But I can mix business with pleasure.” She tossed her head back to catch a glimpse of the poor, teenaged colt acting as their porter. Their bags—Rarity’s ten suitcases, two hat cases, three color-matched saddlebags, what Celestia strongly suspected was a case containing a full ponykin, and a makeup kit to Celestia’s one well-worn pair of saddlebags—teetered precariously on his back. “Once we fit your sister for her dress and I add the finishing touches, I’m sure I could get an escort into the city for some shopping or to catch a matinee. It may not be Bridleway, but I’m sure the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra would be performing, no?”
Celestia gave Rarity a flat look.
“Oh, don’t be like that! It’s so rare that I get to travel because I have business back in Ponyville.” Rarity slid up to Celestia, placed a hoof delicately on her barrel, and batted her eyelashes. “Allow me a little indulgence, would you?” she asked with a mock pout while circling her hoof on Celestia’s barrel.
Celestia rolled her eyes and pushed Rarity’s hoof away. “Fine. Just... Let’s get to the castle, alright? And then you can start Luna’s fitting.”
Rarity tossed her mane and turned gracefully on the spot. “Very well. Off we trot, then.” She high-stepped up the street with just a little too much swing in her hips.
Celestia averted her eyes and marched her way next to Rarity. “You seem awfully driven today. Is Luna’s dress really that important to drop everything?”
“Why, Celestia, how could you ask such a question?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow.
“Of course we must attend to your sister’s Gala ensemble! All of our outfits and manestyles and makeup are all very carefully coordinated such we match both ourselves and our group! I will not allow your sister to be a Gala attendee in some prêt-à-porter dress that clashes with her and...” Rarity stomped her hoof and gnashed her teeth. “I will not allow any of my friends to befall such an awful fate if I’m in a position to do something about it.”
Rarity fumed silently for the rest of the trip to the castle, where a quick nod from Celestia granted them entry. Their porter lagged far enough behind that he was accosted by the guards at the gate. Celestia was about to turn around and help him sort the situation out when Rarity cleared her throat.
“So, where might we find your darling sister at this hour?”
Celestia searched for one of the many clock towers on the castle’s walls. “Ah, well past noon. She’ll be up by now, probably finished breakfast and in her room. We can head there.”
“Lead the way.”
And so Celestia did, their brief interlude allowing the porter to catch up and get some assistance from another oily-faced colt. The four headed to the West Tower with its protruding brass telescope. Along the way, guards opened doors and greeted “Lady Celestia” with a warm enthusiasm Rarity found to be both charming and suspect.
“Lady Celestia?” she asked, drawing out her question as much as possible.
“It’s... complicated, alright? Suffice to say, being Princess Twilight Sparkle’s personal student has some perks. And requisite responsibilities, should the Princess ever call upon them.”
“You’ll have to tell me sometime, Lady Celestia. I mean, should that be agreeable to the Lady, of course.” Rarity’s eyes sparkled mischievously.
Celestia groaned. Fortunately, they arrived at Luna’s door. Celestia rapped her hoof against the wood not adorned with moon and star motifs.
The door swung open with an ominous creak and a more ominous “Enter” by a dark-but-clearly-feminine voice from deep within the equally dark room.
“Luna, seriously? It’s noon. Quit wasting candlelight.” Celestia marched to the far side of the room and ripped open the curtains with her magic.
“Augh!” Luna screeched as she covered her eyes with a hoof. “Tia, you know how much I hate that bright light! I work best in darkness!”
“Yes, but your dressmaker does not. She’ll need light to get the colors and—” Celestia looked back at Rarity “—whatever else it is that she does to make dresses properly. Look—”
“Since when did you hire a dressmaker for me? I can just head downtown any time and pick up—”
“Absolutely not!” Rarity shouted, shoving Celestia out of the way in order to stand face-to-face with Luna. “I will not tolerate such nonsense.” She softened and smiled gently at Celestia. “And your sister did not ‘hire’ me. I volunteered my services in order to provide you with a couture dress to match those of the rest of my friends. All I ask is that if anyone should ask where you got the dress, you give them my name.”
Luna raised an eyebrow and spared a glance at Celestia, who shrugged in return. “And you are?”
“Rarity Belle, owner of The Carousel Boutique and Element of Generosity.” Rarity bowed with a broad smile.
“Lady Luna Stellaris, Royal Astronomer in Training.” Luna extended her hoof to shake.
Rarity took it and kissed it instead. “Enchantée.”
Luna withdrew her hoof with a slight frown. “You have strange friends, Celestia.”
Celestia facehoofed and nodded. “Sorry, Luna, it was this or bear witness to months of her whining. Did I tell you about the time she convinced an entire pack of Diamond Dogs to abandon six carts full of gems just to have us take her away?”
“Hmph.” Rarity stuck her head in the air. “I’ll have you know, I would’ve been able to negotiate my own release and form a fruitful partnership if I’d been allowed a little more time.”
“Rarity, they begged us. Begged.”
“But I do recall how brave you were, coming to my rescue,” Rarity said, sidling up to Celestia and placing her hoof on Celestia’s barrel once more. “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn’t I be the one rescuing the Lady? Hmm? Perhaps I could rescue you from your loneliness at the Gala?”
Luna laughed. “As if Celestia would be anywhere but at the side of her intended, Her Beloved Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
Celestia blushed furiously. “I have a tremendous amount of respect for my long-time teacher and mentor! I’ve been away for months and I want to spend an evening with her because I haven’t had the opportunity in a while!”
Luna approached her and sniffed. “Clover? You ought to switch cleansing products, Celestia. You know Princess Twilight prefers lavender. Rosemary in a pinch.”
“I have not switched shampoos. Clover, lavender, or otherwise.” Celestia grit her teeth. “I may smell like a meadow because guess what? That’s where Ponyville is. I get outside. You might smell less like musty old books and brass cleaner if you got out of the tower once in a while,” Celestia spat back.
“Fine, don’t take my advice. I only wished for you evening with your betrothed to go as—”
“She. Is. Not. My. Fiancée,” Celestia said through grit and grinding teeth.
Luna threw up her hooves.
“Rarity, would you... Could we please get to the fitting?” Celestia tried to unclench her jaw. “The sooner that gets taken care of, the sooner we can be out of Luna’s hair. Luna’s musty, brassy hair.”
“Very well, then,” Rarity said. “I shall just need to find those porters and fetch the necessary supplies.” She heard a knock at the door. “Ah, that must be them. Those poor dears, ascending so many stairs.”
The door clicked open before any of them could reach it and Prince Shining Armor stepped into the room. “I don’t find the climb to be that disagreeable, myself.” He chuckled. “But I assume you’re referring to the two gentlecolts currently a few landings down trying to rebalance a rather large amount of luggage?”
“Oh, don’t tell me they dropped anything! I have some very delicate items!” Rarity stamped her hooves rapidly and nervously against the stone floor.
“They’ll be fine, but that’s not why I’m here.” Shining Armor turned to Celestia. “Princess Twilight requests your presence,” he stated proudly, nose in the air and hoof to his chest in a mock salute. “Well, she wants you to stop by for tea when you have some time. Nothing that formal.” He laughed again. “I can take you to her?” he offered.
“No, thanks, I can make my way from here. I assume she’s in her chambers or the solarium?” Celestia asked.
“Her chambers, yes.”
“Bye for now, then!” Celestia said, waving briefly to Rarity and Luna. Before she could leave entirely, she caught one last snippet of conversation.
“Say, Prince Shining, or, excuse me, Prince Amore, is it true you’ll be attending the Gala solo?” Rarity unmistakably asked. “Or are you perhaps looking for the right... gem to come along?”
Celestia rolled her eyes as she descended the tower, squeezing past the hapless porters still dragging the luggage up the flight of stairs. It was a long journey from the West Tower to the North Tower that held Princess Twilight’s chambers. Winding, marble corridors lined with plush carpet, artwork spanning centuries, and enough plants for the palace to be considered a greenhouse in its own right fell behind Celestia in her deliberate trot to her date. Tea party.
Obviously a tea party. Alone, with a princess, called to her chambers by a fellow royal, not a servant. Not a courtship ritual at all. Definitely not, especially since Princess Twilight would know of every courtship ritual in the book, having either read it or wrote it herself. And being her dutiful student, Lady Celestia would have read up on courtly romance as well, just to be prepared.
Celestia gulped.
She stood before the glorious purpleheart doors, filigreed with silver stars surrounding a massive pink topaz six-pointed-star split in twain. She knocked gently as there were no guards to be seen. Not a date, not a date she attempted to remind herself.
“Come in, Celestia!” chimed the light, warm, almost musical voice of Princess Twilight at her best: hosting a friend. The doors swung open silently just wide enough to admit one pony.
Celestia slid inside and the doors shut behind her with hardly a sound but the slight clang of solid wood hitting stone and metal.
Glancing around, Celestia saw Philomena on her perch, preening her wings; an ornate Princess-sized ponykin draped in a beautiful navy gown; an artfully engraved silver serving tray full of little cakes, cookies, and other pastries; a lovingly hand-painted tea set of which the teapot was giving off some small amount of steam; and finally, Twilight Sparkle smiling a beatific smile as she gestured for Celestia to come closer.
Too rare were these privates moments, Celestia thought. She barely made it two steps before Twilight sprung forth and grabbed her in a tight hug. Twilight’s longer neck curled around hers and they both nuzzled the other. Celestia smiled back. Too rare indeed.
“Well, I hope you’ve come hungry, because I don’t expect to eat these treats myself.” Twilight laughed. Celestia joined in with a small giggle. “You’ve not been by for some time, my little pony. That ashamed of this old mare, or did you get too caught up in your new assignment? Should I assign some homework to visit me sometime? Or is the gala enough of a final project for this term, hmm?”
Celestia sat down next to Twilight and leaned against her side, Twilight’s wing already lifted up and draped over her. Celestia sighed. “Oh, nothing that dramatic. I am learning more and more each day, but you knew that already. Or are my friendship reports not enough work for the Eternal Teacher?” Celestia magicked a ginger snap over to her.
Twilight laughed again as she poured two cups of tea. “I won’t be your teacher forever, Celestia Solaris. You’ll need to teach me a few things some time. Student becoming the master and all that.”
“Then here’s to being student and teacher together in whatever form that takes.” Celestia raised her teacup. “To us!” she shouted and sipped slowly at the hot liquid.
Twilight snickered. “To us!” she said and sipped her tea as well.
“I feel like my toast was undermined somewhat by a too-hot beverage.” Celestia swirled the tea in her cup.
Twilight pressed her hoof to Celestia’s nose and tapped it lightly. “Then next time, you’ll have to take me some place more suited to serving something cold enough to toast with.” Her soft smile betrayed nothing.
Celestia gulped again.
