“Well, that was nicer than I expected.”
“Didn’t I say you’d enjoy it,” the mare said with a chuckle. “I am yet to find a better way to spend Heart’s Warming, and for good reason.”
“Hmm, I can’t fully agree with that Bon-bon, I still think I would have preferred a party.” The brown stallion gave a warm smile towards his filly friend. “That being said, there is nothing quite like the smile on a poor child’s face when you give them a present.”
Bon-bon returned the smile, content with his reaction, and continued to walk down the street with him.
Despite the many couples around them being as close as they could possibly be to each other, Bon-bon and her coltfriend had a noticeable gap between them as they walked. A gap that Bon-bon couldn’t quite bring herself to breach.
She was content enough putting up with the cold and slightly windy afternoon not to snuggle up to her coltfriend. And besides, all the hurrying of ponies getting ready for an evening of partying and present giving made it at least seem warmer.
Bon-bon enjoyed looking at all the ponies happily dragging carts filled to the brim with cakes and presents to share with their friends. The sound of music in the distance from street parties, especially, made her smile.
Despite this, Bon-bon had no plan, or even an urge, to go to any of these parties. And so, she continued forward until she and her coltfriend came to a crossroad.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me to the street party at least. It won’t be the same without you.” He gave her a hopeful look, but received only a hesitant frown.
“Sorry, again I’m not really much of a party pony, but you enjoy yourself. I’ve got some errands to run anyway so don’t worry about me.”
She gave him a hug and he reached in for an awkward kiss on the cheek before bidding a goodbye. While he quickly hurried to his party, holding onto his hat as he did so, Bon-bon turned around on herself and started slowly walking back up the street.
As she continued along her path, she let out a loud sigh. It was something she had been containing for a while now, and being alone, she took her chance to let it out. All hope that it would have gotten easier by now seemed to have been nothing but blissful optimism right now.
A few minutes later, she arrived back at the street with all the children she had handed her gifts to all still out playing with them. Once there, she simply stood by a shop wall and watched the children play happily with their new gifts.
While it was slightly cold outside just standing there with nothing but her hood for warmth, she didn’t mind it. She had never been one to complain about such things. So she just continued to watch their happy faces.
As much as she didn’t want her mind to entertain such thoughts, she couldn’t help but feel envious of them. Such innocence, such blissful ignorance. She longed for the days when she used to just run around happily with her friends. Her happiness so easy and uncomplicated.
But she quickly snapped her thoughts back from those selfish ideas. She had to keep in mind it was poor children she was looking at, some still covered in soot from chimneys or tired from factory work.
Bon-bon had been a child of privilege after all. Her parents both being fairly well-off artisans, she never had to beg for food or sleep in the cold. The fact she was brought up alongside less fortunate ponies made her never forget how lucky she was. She thought it was where her more progressive tendencies came from.
“Bon-bon? Fancy seeing you here.”
She jumped slightly, but quickly regained posture and turned to see—
“Lyra! Is that you?” She exclaimed upon meeting her eyes.
“The one and only,” the mare said with a chuckle.
The mint mare was just next to where Bon-bon had placed herself, standing tall and confidently. Her stance had good posture with just a touch of cockiness. A cockiness that was helped along by a natural smile that mirrored a smirk.
And while she was giving a good show, her trembling back legs gave away her true feelings. That and the slight voice crack from her opening line. Something that happened despite practicing it a couple of times in her head beforehand.
Bon-Bon took a couple seconds to register the sudden presence of the mare. After that, she immediately noticed just how well dressed she was. A purple silk cloak with a fur hood, topped off with a frankly fabulous hat filled with feathers and bows.
Despite all this new and extravagant clothing, Bon-Bons eyes couldn’t help but return to a little golden Lyre that was attached to her chest. A little piece of jewelry that Lyra suddenly regretted wearing today.
Once Bon-bon had taken in the situation, she suddenly realised she didn’t know how to deal with it. Normally when she met a friend she hadn’t seen in a long time, she would greet her with a hug. But that felt like a bad idea with it being Lyra.
So, instead, she decided to scoot round that part of the reintroductions.
“How have you been doing,” Bon-bon said with a smile. “Judging by your clothes your tour seems to be going well at least.”
“Oh yeah, you wouldn’t believe it, it’s been beyond amazing!” Her expression suddenly turned gleeful, forgetting her nervousness. “City to city there’s been packed out halls, ponies cheering, five-star reviews, it’s been non-stop greatness.
“Except for this one paper that keeps giving me two stars. If I ever find the writer who dared call me ‘unenthusiastic’, me. I am the most enthusiastic pony ever to play the Lyre, granted it’s not a title that’s hard to achieve, but it’s a title I hold nevertheless.”
Bon-bon couldn’t help but giggle at Lyra. Her rants were one of the things she missed most about her.
The little laugh pulled on Lyra's stomach much more than she had anticipated, a pain that promptly stopped her train of thought. She looked away slightly, trying to hide her newly emerged blush. Her giggling was definitely what Lyra had missed most about Bon-bon.
Picking up on the reaction, Bon-bon’s smile turned sad. “Well I’m glad you're enjoying yourself,” she managed to continue. “I had no idea lyre concerts had much cheering.”
“Did I say cheering? Well, it’s more sitting politely until the song's over, then clapping a lot. Pretty much cheering if you think about it.”
Bon-bon chuckled but then hesitated. “So what brings you back here then?”
“Well, my next performance is here, at the local theater down the road. It’s not as big as some of the other venues but I thought it would be a shame to miss it.”
“Ah, I see.” She tried her best to smile, but her concern was evident. And so, a silence emerged, one that lingered a little too long.
“...Erm, if you get the time,” Lyra finally said, “it’s completely up to you by the way, you could come see the performance.”
Conflicted on how best to talk to Lyra, Bon-bon failed to bring about a quick response, leaving a long enough hesitation for Lyra to second guess herself.
“That’s not to say you have to come or anything, I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you or anything. It’s fine if you don’t want to come. I completely understand if you think it will be weird or—”
“No, Lyra, it’s okay, calm down,” Bon-bon managed to interject. “I’d love to come.”
“Really?” Lyra let out a sigh of relief.
“Yes, really. I’ve always loved your performances, and if I have the chance to see one, I’ll be there.”
“Oh, thanks. Sorry, I just thought since—”
“It’s fine, really. Maybe you could even get me a seat at the front so I can really cheer you on. Just like old times.”
Lyra winced slightly, losing eye contact with Bon-bon. “Yeah, just like then.”
Bon-bon realised the mistake in her words as soon as she said them, and cursed herself for it. She stopped herself from going to comfort Lyra. As much as she hated seeing her in pain, she knew that it would only make things worse.
“Hey, erm,” Lyra continued, still not regaining eye contact. “I saw you earlier, giving presents to those children. I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your good will.”
She let out a sad sounding chuckle, while Bon-bon failed to think of anything to say.
“I noticed you were with… erm, well, how have things been going between you two.”
“Good,” she lied. They’d been going out for months now and they still had no confidence around each other. Sure, they hug a lot, but Bon-bon just couldn't seem to make herself see him as anything more than just a friend. Kissing always seemed to be awkward and she couldn’t even imagine herself doing anything more that that.
Luckily, she had managed to convince him she was waiting till marriage. Yes, he understood that the liberal minded socialist Bon-bon was very firm in her views that traditional marriage was the only way forward. Luckily he wasn’t that smart a coltfriend.
“I’m glad,” Lyra also lied. While it wasn’t completely a lie, she found comfort in the knowledge that Bon-bon was happy, it didn’t stop her stomach from tearing her insides apart.
“So, what about you,” Bon-bon asked. “Found anyone special?”
Lyra touched her gold lyre for a second before realising what she was doing and quickly put her leg back to the floor.
“Erm, no, I’m not really very good with the whole dating scene. Once I run out of cheesy pickup lines I don’t really know what to do. Actually getting into a relationship with someone takes some time, as you can probably remember.”
To this, Bon-bon couldn’t help but blush from the memory. And once Lyra looked back up to see her stunned reaction, she began to panic.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up. I didn’t mean to make this more awkward. I know you’d rather forget everything that happened and move on.”
Bon-Bon was taken back slightly. “What do you mean?”
“It’s okay, really, I understand. You’ve moved on, found that normal life you needed… the normal life I couldn’t… Listen, you shouldn’t have to deal with some stupid fillyhood crush anymore, that’s my problem, not yours.”
“You don’t really think I see it that way, do you?”
Lyra gritted her teeth, trying to hold down the sudden lump in her chest. “But that’s how it is, isn’t it?” Her voice weakened. “You and I, it never could have worked out forever. I should have realised it was something you never wanted.”
“...Lyra.”
“It’s fine, really. Just… please, can we still be friends at least? I don’t want to lose you completely. I don’t… I don’t know how long I can cope with you not wanting to see me.”
“Lyra!” Bon-Bon took a step forward so that her face was only a couple inches away from Lyra’s, who still wasn’t looking up at her. “Do you think I didn’t love you?”
The sudden use of that word caught Lyra off guard. She let out a little tremble and backed off from Bon-bon slightly. “Well… Did you?”
“Of course I did. You’ve always meant so much to me and I don’t want you to think those feelings weren't real. It wasn’t just some fillyhood crush to me.”
“Then when did you stop loving me?”
A silence fell on the two mares.
“Well, when was it?” Lyra continued, anger creeping into her voice. “Was it when you left me? Was it when you didn’t bid me goodbye with everyone else? Or was it sooner than all that, a week before, a month maybe? How long were you just pretending to love me!”
Lyra’s whole body was shaking. Her face was scrunched up as she tried to forcefully hold back her tears. It hurt Bon-bon to see her in such a state, but she forced herself to take it in as she knew she was to blame for it.
Acknowledging her blame, she decided to take responsibility for it. And she figured she should start by telling her the truth. “I didn’t.”
Lyra’s head slowly turned forward. Still shaking, she met Bon-bon’s eyes again. “What?”
“I never pretended to love you.” Bon-bon sighed. “And to be completely honest, I never stopped loving you.”
Lyra kept silent. She gave Bon-bon a look that while still trembling, was also confused.
Bon-bon let out a sad, little chuckle. “I mean I did try to. These last six months has basically been me trying to get over you. I’ve been doing more shop work, charity work, I even started gardening to try and get my mind off you.
“I managed to make a ‘normal’ life to enjoy, complete with a coltfriend and everything, but nothing has felt right. I’ve got this nagging feeling that keeps wearing down on me, constantly telling me I messed up. I guess I never could get you out of my head.”
“B-but you… you walked out on me?”
“I never wanted to. Please, believe that. The day I had to leave you was the worst day of my life.”
“You and me both,” she spat.
Bon-bon sensed Lyra’s growing annoyance and backed off slightly. Seeing that her words seemed to in fact hurt Lyra more, the opposite of what she was trying to do, she decided to articulate her feeling more carefully.
She turned slightly and noticed that the little ponies were getting ready to go inside. She smiled, having seen all the happy faces of the children who had received gifts. For a moment, everything clicked in her mind and she turned back to Lyra, filled with the determination she needed.
“Remember the day we went to Fillydelphia?”
Lyra frowned at the seemingly irrelevant question, but complied nevertheless. “Yeah, you came with me for my concert. To ‘cheer me on’ as you always did.”
“Do you remember when I wanted to donate some money to that orphanage, but they turned us away because they saw us kiss just outside?”
“Yeah, those bucking ponies. Who do they think they are? Turning away ponies who could help just because-”
“That’s the point. That orphanage needed the money we had, and those children suffered because I wasn’t a ‘normal’ pony who could’ve handed in the money without a problem.
“I couldn’t let that continue to happen. I’ve had so many luxuries just given to me, and I can’t let ponies go without simple necessities because of my own selfish needs.”
“That’s why I left Lyra. Not because I stopped loving you, it wasn’t anything to do with me and you. I can’t let myself stay in a relationship that stops me helping the ones I need to help most, no matter how much I want to.”
Lyra just stood there, stunned. Any anger or even happiness left in her seemed to dissolve into sadness before Bon-bon’s eyes. Her head dropped slightly as she continued to stand in silence.
“...oh,” she finally said.
“...Lyra.”
“No, no, I understand.” She shook her head, trying to snap out of it. “It makes sense actually. It’s better than thinking you started to hate me anyway.”
Lyra rubbed her face with her hoof and groaned. “I’m sorry,” she said, almost whimpering.
“What? Why?”
“Because I couldn’t give you the normal life you needed.”
“...Please Lyra, don’t do that to yourself.”
“But it’s true. You’ve always been so kind and giving, always putting the needs of everyone else before your own. It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But I guess if being with you stops you from doing that then…”
Bon-bon stared at her with an expression of disbelief on her face. It was heartbreaking to hear Lyra putting such pain on herself, she had preferred it when she was angry.
“Lyra… I love you.”
Lyra’s heart jumped violently, causing her to stumble for a second, but she quickly regained her composure. “I love you too Bon-bon, always.”
The two mares went to embrace each other in a hug. Bon-bon carefully wrapped her forehooves around Lyra, letting her lean onto her shoulder. Lyra just held on for dear life, praying that this wouldn’t be the last time she embraced Bon-bon.
The hug lasted for a while, as neither of them were ready to let go just yet. Eventually, they did loosen up so they could face each other.
Lyra had developed a deep red blush, one that Bon-bon couldn’t help but giggle at, which only made it grow larger and brighter.
“So, er,” Lyra coyly started, “how about one for the road.”
Bon-bon knew it had been an attempt at a joke, a rather bad attempt at that. But regardless, she decided to take Lyra up on her offer.
Lyra almost jumped out of her skin as the gap between the two mares faces suddenly closed. As their lips connected, Bon-bon could practically feel the heat emanating from her face.
Once Bon-bon had raised her face away from lyra, she gave her sly grin. Lyra, for her part, could only stare at Bon-bon with a rather dumbstruck look on her face. At least Bon-bon thought it was dumbstruck, she couldn’t see it properly behind the almost blinding red lights of her cheeks.
“Will that keep you going for a while?” Bon-bon teased.
“Erm... that’ll do it.”
Bon-bon went back to giggling but was interrupted when a cold breeze hit her.
She looked around and noticed how late it was beginning to get. The cold was bearable before, but that seemed no longer the case. She knew that she needed to bid Lyra goodbye and head inside before she caught a cold, but she was incredibly reluctant to do so.
The same thoughts were going through Lyra’s mind, but she had an idea.
“Hey, I know you’re not much of a party pony, but I was invited to this party down the road and, well, why don’t you come; it was an open invitation.”
Bon-bon hesitated for a second, she was indeed not a party pony, but any excuse to spend a bit more time with Lyra was a good excuse, so she agreed.
Unfortunately, she knew that her coltfriend would be very upset if she went to a party without him but with a friend. So, she concluded she should go pick him up from the street party that should have been wrapping up round about then.
After getting the directions and explaining her thoughts to Lyra, they, rather reluctantly, went off in separate directions. And while Lyra went straight to the party, Bon-bon didn’t make it ten steps without becoming blocked by a little filly who was looking directly at her.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she reached her, as the little filly just continued stare at her with a look somewhere between intrigue and amazement on her face.
She was a small, orange pegasus with a purple mane, couldn’t have been that much older than ten, maybe younger. Bon-bon recognized her from the orphanage, and her worn down clothes and dirty coat fit the image. Held very tightly in her hooves was a little, stuffed bear that Bon-bon didn’t recognize.
“Erm, are you okay?” Bon-Bon asked with more concern than confusion.
The filly jumped slightly, realising what she was doing. “Oh, sorry, I, erm, hello.”
Bon-bon smiled at her adorably flustered state. “Hello, I’m Bon-Bon. What are you doing out so late, are you lost?”
“Hey Miss... erm, Bon. Don’t worry, I’m not lost. I live at the orphanage just down the road. I was just looking for Miss Lyra, she came round to hand out toys earlier.” She signalled her toy. “I didn’t get the chance to say ‘thank you’ to her.”
Bon-bon nodded. Lyra’s gift giving was probably the reason she was down these parts anyway, so that explained that. She was happy that Lyra had kept up with her charitable habits even after they had broken up.
“Well, if you hurry now you could probably catch up with her if you’re lucky; she’s just up the road.”
Bon-bon expected the filly to promptly gallop down the road, but that didn’t happen. Instead, she just continued to stand there, staring at Bon-bon. Now while Bon-bon is very patient and understanding, especially with young ponies, it was starting to get a little creepy.
“... Are you feeling okay?”
The filly again managed to snap herself out of it. She looked down, feeling quite embarrassed for herself. “Sorry, I was, erm, thinking about something.”
“Is it something I can help you with?” she said as her caring tendencies sprang back into action.
“N-no. Well, yes. I mean not help really, I was just wondering if er…” She was tapping a back hoof nervously, not really knowing how best to go about asking her question. “It was just I, erm, saw you kiss Lyra.”
Oh buck! was the first thought that came to Bon-Bon's head. The next couple of thoughts were similar in meaning but less savory. She realised she had stepped into a conversational minefield and was completely unaware how to maneuver it.
“So, I was just wondering,” she continued, “erm, what’s up with that?”
Bon-Bon was feeling very uncomfortable, unable to think of anything smart to say. So, she decided to stall until a good idea popped into her head.
“In what sense,” she asked with a seemingly innocent smile. One that was only trembling a little.
“Well, it’s just that you two aren’t disgusting.”
Bon-bon’s look suddenly changed to one of confusion, something the filly took as a prompt to explain.
“Because some of the ponies in charge of the orphanage told me that mares aren’t allowed to kiss other mares, and that those who do are disgusting.” She sniffed. “But you two are kind, ponies who hand out presents are always kind, not disgusting.
“So I was just wondering, how do you get to kiss mares and not be disgusting?”
Bon-bon knelt down slightly so she was face to face with her. She felt she understood where these questions were coming from. “Did you kiss another mare?”
She jumped back, her expression suddenly panicked. “N-no, I didn’t mean to, s-she was just… we were just…” Hooves shaking, she tried to quickly wipe away the tears she couldn’t stop from surfacing. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know I wasn’t meant to. It was a mistake. I don’t want to be disgusting.”
Little drops of tears became visible as they hit the cold ground. She had started to sob. Bon-bon quickly wrapped her forehooves around her, comforting her with a hug. The filly was startled at first, but quickly let herself cry into Bon-bon’s chest.
“Shhh, shhh,” Bon-bon calmly said as she began to stroke the filly's head. “Don’t cry, it’s okay, you’re not disgusting at all.”
The filly continued to sob into Bon-Bon but tried her best calm down. “B-but… the ponies at the orphanage said—”
“I don’t care what they said, they’re wrong.” Bon-bon pulled the filly out slightly so she could look her in the eyes. “Listen to me, you are not disgusting, not one bit. You are a kind and beautiful filly and you shouldn’t think otherwise.
“Who you kiss or want to be with has nothing to do with if you’re disgusting or not, it’s who you are that matters. And you, you came out looking for Lyra just because you didn’t get a chance to thank her; that’s not something a disgusting pony would do, would they?”
The filly wiped a tear away from her eye. “No.”
“Exactly, it doesn’t matter what those ponies say because you know you’re not doing anything wrong, and you are certainly not disgusting. You don’t need their acceptance to do what makes you happy. Promise me you’ll remember that.”
“I guess so.” She still didn’t look completely sure.
“I said promise me. I’m not letting go until you do.”
The filly giggled despite herself, and then put on a brave face. “I promise I will remember that. I am not disgusting for kissing a mare and no one can tell me otherwise.”
Bon-Bon also giggled. And while she knew that it probably wasn’t the end of the filly’s problems, she felt happy that she was so sure of herself in that moment.
It had taken Bon-bon years to accept that part of herself, and she knew it’s never easy to do. And she had it luckier than most, an independent living, understanding friends, and most of all she met—
“So this filly you kissed,” Bon-bon asked slyly, “is she your friend.”
The orange filly’s cheeks suddenly began to burn red. Bon-bon thought it absolutely adorable. “Erm, I er… yes.”
“And what did she think of your little kiss?” It was a question that could suddenly make the conversation sad again, but she considered it worth the risk.
“She, well, she actually kissed me,” The filly said, still bright red.
Bon-bon smiled. “So, do you like her?”
“Yeah, she’s a good friend.” Bon-bon raised an eyebrow, giving her an unimpressed look.
“Oh, you mean like-like. I’ve never really like-liked anyone before so I don’t really know… But I think so. She’s smart, kind, and very pretty, a lot prettier than me. She lives near the richer ponies, but she always comes down to play with me.”
Her smile faded. “I’ve really missed her recently. She hasn’t come to see me since we kissed. Her parents seemed really angry when they saw.”
“She doesn’t seem disgusting either.”
“No!” The filly sounded annoyed at the very idea of her being disgusting. “She’s lovely and wonderful, the opposite of disgusting!”
“That’s good to hear.” A proud, little grin appeared on Bon-bon’s face. “but I think she needs to hear that as well.”
The filly gave her a confused look, so Bon-bon swiftly explained.
“If it’s as you said, then she’s spent the last couple of days being shouted at and thinking she’s disgusting because she kissed you. Right now, more than ever, she needs to be told by somepony that isn’t the case, and I think you’re the best pony for the job. Do you understand?”
A second passed as the information clicked in the filly's mind. She then nodded her head, gave what looked like a salute, and galloped off with a determined look on her face.
“You may want to do it tomorrow, it’s getting a bit late,” Bon-bon called after her. It was too late. She had already sped out of earshot and was most likely too determined not to stop even if she had heard Bon-bon.
She knew that she was probably old enough to look after herself, it was a safe neighborhood after all, and it was Hearth's Warming day. But despite that, she made a mental note to check she made it back okay before heading home.
She returned to her path towards where the street party had been. Sure, it had been over for a good while now, but she still hoped her coltfriend would still be in the general area.
Luckily, she happened to walk into him on the way there, as he was heading opposite way.
“Oh, hey Bon-bon,” he said upon seeing the mare. “Did you finish with your errands?”
Bon-bon stopped herself from saying ‘what errands’ as she remembered the white lie she had said before bidding him goodbye. “Yes, thanks for asking. I was just invited to a party and wondered if you wanted to come with.”
Her coltfriend, rather understandingly, was a bit surprised by this sudden development. He had spent the last month trying to convince Bon-bon to go to a party to no avail, now, suddenly, he was getting asked if he wanted to join her. He had a half mind to ask if she had hit her head since he saw her last.
“Not that I’m not happy to see you going to a party, because I am, what’s brought about this sudden change in feeling?” He asked politely, a big restraint on his part.
Bon-Bon had gotten herself into enough bad situations that she knew straight out lying only makes them worse. Instead, she prefered telling an abridged truth.
“Well I’m not really going for the party, and most likely won’t be doing any ‘partying’ myself. It’s just I was invited by an old friend who I haven’t seen in awhile, so it’s really just an excuse to catch up.”
He slowly nodded. “I guess that’s fair enough, I’m just glad you decided to go to a party.” He let Bon-bon lead the way and they trotted along together, the same gap between them as before. “So, which friend invited you?”
“Oh, I’ve told you about her before, it was Lyra.”
“Lyra?” He shot Bon-bon an almost excited look. “I finally get to meet the famed Lyra. I can’t wait.”
“What do you mean?”
“What do you mean ‘what do you mean?’ You’re always talking about Lyra. I’m yet to hear you tell a story that didn’t start with ‘this one time Lyra and I.’”
Bon-bon looked away from him, feeling quite embarrassed. “I think that might be a bit of an over exaggeration.”
He chuckled. “I don’t. Sometimes I think I’ve learnt more about this Lyra pony than I have about you. Honestly, from what I’ve gathered you two didn’t spend more than a minute apart, besides sleeping.”
Bon-bon blushed. “Well, erm, that’s probably more right than wrong.”
Bon-bon realised the dangers of staying on this topic. She was not as good at avoiding slip-ups as she would have liked. And talking about how close her and Lyra were was a ticking time bomb. So, she decided not to tempt fate and moved the conversation to simple small talk for the rest of the journey.
Upon reaching the address Lyra had given her, a feeling of dread fell over her. This was understandable considering that the party was going to contain a wide range of things she hated even thinking about. The party atmosphere, meeting new ponies, and drinking in front of strangers.
Despite the last one being seemingly random, Bon-bon had gained somewhat of a reputation while drunk. Not a bad one per say, Lyra always thought it was great, but Bon-bon was known within her circle of friends to suddenly get an urge to dance while drunk. Dance a lot, and badly, very badly.
Sure, it could be a lot worse, she was no Berry Punch. But it did mean that making a good first impression normally involved no drinking whatsoever.
But even with all those worries spinning around her head, the main source of her dread was the idea of introducing her coltfriend to Lyra.
Even with all the normal awkwardness that comes from introducing an ex to your new partner, she had to deal with the fact her coltfriend believes her to just be Bon-bon’s old friend. An old friend that he’s excited to meet.
Then there was the worry about Lyra’s reaction. While she knew Lyra to be a kind pony who would not wish to hurt someone else, she also knew she could all too easily let her emotions get the better of her.
The pain from seeing Bon-bon’s new coltfriend could all too easily turn into anger, anger that would most likely be projected at him.
Still, as Bon-bon entered the party, she gave a little sigh of relief when it became obvious it was not as high key as she feared. There was only a handful of ponies, most of them just talking calmly or enjoying the buffet.
Walking deeper in, she couldn’t help but bob her head to the music being played by these two mares on the stage. One, a grey earth pony with a nice purple hat, was standing on her hind legs and playing violin. The other, a white unicorn who was wearing more… modern cloths, was turning a vinyl player.
Bon-bon’s first instinct was to head straight for the buffet, intending to place herself behind three stallions chatting by it. Not for food, but because it always seemed less weird than standing awkwardly. But, before she set her course, she noticed Lyra at the other side of the room.
She was standing next to an old stallion with a white coat and sideburns that could take an eye out, making polite small talk. And despite the added effort of another introduction, she decided to head straight over to Lyra.
Lyra saw her and gave her a warm smile. One that only wavered slightly when she noticed her coltfriend next to her.
“Hey Bon-bon.” Lyra tried her best for a friendly greeting. “This must be your coltfriend. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Oh no, the pleasure's all mine,” he said with a grin. “You’re Lyra, am I correct in saying?”
Lyra gave him a nod, trying to seem as casual as possible.
“That’s great. It feels good to finally put a face to a name. Bon-bon has told me so much about you.”
“She has?” She shot Bon-bon a worried look. “How much exactly?”
“I can’t imagine there’s much left to tell. She doesn’t really like to shut up about you,” he said with a cheeky grin.
“For a while I thought you were the only other pony she knew,” he continued. “That was until she told me a story involving this Colgate Pony. But you were in that one as well, so there’s no need to feel left out.”
“Huh, is that so.” She shot another look towards Bon-bon, who was now blushing.
“Indeed.” He gave Bon-bon a grin. “Well, I won't interrupt you two, I’m sure you have a lot of catching up to do. And I’ve most likely already heard any story you have from Bon-bon anyway.”
He went to move away, finding himself in front of the white stallion next to Lyra. He had been standing there awkwardly, not knowing if he should walk off or not.
“Nice sideburns,” Bon-bon’s boyfriend said upon seeing him. The stallion, taking it as an opportunity to leave, promptly carried on the conversation so he could seamlessly walk off with him.
The two mares, now finding themselves alone, stood silently for a second, just taking in the last conversation. Bon-bon was still blushing, having become very embarrassed by her coltfriend, though, obviously, not for the reason he had intended.
“So,” Lyra began, “he seemed nicer than I imagined.”
Bon-bon gave only a sheepish chuckle. While their first meeting was not bad in the way she had feared, she still thought that was one of the worst ways it could have happened.
“He seemed quite funny as well. He certainly gave the impression he was charming if nothing else.” Lyra hesitated for a second but decided to carry on. “I’m glad you didn’t settle for someone nasty or obnoxious. I hope you can be happy with him.”
Bon-bon suddenly stopped feeling embarrassed for herself as those words hit her. She looked directly at Lyra, trying to think of something to say, anything, but to no avail. The knowledge that those words must have been incredibly painful for Lyra to say, but said them anyway, unsettled Bon-bon.
“Lyra, over here,” they heard someone to the left of them call.
It was a mare with a white coat and beautifully styled purple mane. She looked very sleek in her red dress, as it had the perfect mix of traditional and modern styles. Not to mention it looked perfect on her: obviously custom made.
She signalled Lyra to come over to her. Bon-bon had no idea what it was about, but judging by her face, it was something serious.
Lyra sighed. “Sorry, I gotta talk to her. I’ll speak to you later.”
She turned towards the mare and Bon-bon could do nothing but stare as she left. Bon-bon did, eventually, make her way over to the buffet, returning to her plan A.
As the party carried on, she continued to stand outside it. The mood and energy of the party was completely seperate to her, and it was unable to pop her bubble of thought.
Well, there were two thoughts to be precise. First was what Lyra had said. Because she didn’t like it, she didn’t like it one bit.
Lyra was being incredibly understanding. Too understanding. Lyra, while many things, was not good at hiding her distaste for an idea if she disagreed with it, and could not silence her own opinion. Her actions now could only be explained by some sudden development in her self-constraint.
Or she had accepted what’s happened.
Now that’s what really made her feel off. She knew it shouldn’t make her feel that way, over these last months Lyra’s acceptance had been something she’d longed for. But now she had it, it felt wrong.
Because if she indeed had Lyra's acceptance, that meant Bon-bon was doing the right thing. And right now, more than ever, she wasn’t sure if she was.
This doubt stemmed from the other thought on her mind, the filly she had talked to. Ever since it happened she couldn’t seem to stop herself thinking about it, reliving the scenario over and over in her head.
Her sad, familiar pain had affected Bon-bon in a way she wasn’t used to. It made her feel off somehow, like she was meant to be doing something but couldn’t remember what. And she hated not knowing what she should do.
For as long as she could remember, Bon-bon had lived by an easy to understand philosophy: Does it make anyone happy? If so, do it. If it doesn’t, it’s not important.
Now while this may seem overly simple and overly idealized, Bon-bon had found great comfort from following it. And while, as she is more than willing to admit, she isn’t perfect at following it, she still tried her best to mold her life around it. It gave her direction.
All the charity work, no matter how grueling, was always worth it because she knew the happiness it brought. This gave her actions fulfillment, keeping her going on to help another pony the next day.
She had that in mind when she decided to leave Lyra.
As much as she hated every second of it, and every day since, she managed to drag herself along because she thought that more ponies would be happier with them appart.
It meant no more fillies left out because we were turned away at the door. She could get involved in policy debates on how to better the town with no one looking down on her. The increase in charity work she could do by
avoiding any inconveniences that their relationship brought. That was all for everypony else, right?
And so her mind kept on returning back to the filly. She couldn't get over just how lucky that encounter was. If it had never happened, that filly would have kept on suffering by herself, no one to support her, no way to know she wasn’t disgusting. If she had knowingly missed that chance she would never have forgiven herself.
And if she hadn't kissed Lyra she would have missed it.
Bon-bon continued to stand in silence for quite a while, her thoughts continuing to wear down on her. A good drink was beginning to seem worth the risk of a potential dance.
“Hey Bon-bon, sorry about that,” Lyra said, joining Bon-bon by the buffet. “Are you okay? You seem down.”
“I-I…” Her thoughts were still flying round her head. “Lyra, I’m sorry.”
“What? Why?”
“Because... I messed up. I messed up everything.”
Lyra chuckled. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Anyway, we’re past that now, we can work on moving on from-”
“No, no. You don’t understand.” Bon-bon rubbed her head, trying to articulate her thoughts. “Listen, earlier today, I had a chance encounter that’s made me think about some things.”
“I know, I was there.”
“Not you, it was after that. I met this filly, I didn’t even get her name, but she had seen us kiss, so she told me how she kissed her friend, another filly, and was upset because everyone at the orphanage said it was disgusting.
“But because I was there, I could help her, explain that she wasn’t disgusting. She was in such a state; must have bottled up her feelings for I don’t even know how long. But because she found someone else like that, she got the reassurance she needed.”
Lyra titled her head, unsure where Bon-bon was going with any of this. “But why has that made you feel like you’ve messed up? Surely it’s a good thing you helped this filly?”
“Yes, and that’s the point. It was incredibly important that she got that help, more important than a little toy or small donation. She could have spent so many years thinking her feeling are wrong with no reassurance whatsoever. We both know how painful that is.”
Lyra fidgeted slightly. Those years still had memories that had not yet healed.
“And it is exactly because it’s so important that I can’t stop thinking about how it almost didn’t happen. If we hadn’t been together then, and hadn’t kissed… Lyra, it was a one in a million chance for that pony. And right now, there are thousands of other ponies who don't have that chance.
“So shouldn’t we try our best to give it to as many as possible?”
Lyra stayed silent, but a small smile crept onto her face, as she was beginning to see where Bon-bon was going with all this.
“And that’s why I messed up. I thought leaving you was the right thing for helping others, but now I ralise I was only doing it for my own selfish conveniences. And for that, I am truly sorry.”
Bon-bon began to blush slightly. “Listen, I know I’ve hurt you a lot, but I still love you Lyra. So if you can find it to forgive as big an idiot as me then—”
Bon-bon was cut off as Lyra leaned in to kiss her. Bon-bon’s first instinct was to panic, but instead, she kissed back. Letting go of all her thoughts and worries just for a moment, so she could just enjoy it.
When Lyra leaned back, she smiled at Bon-bon, who couldn’t help but start giggling as a blush spread across her face. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds. It almost felt like the last six months never happened, and they were just carrying on like they always did, but Bon-bon’s worry kicked in before they got too comfortable.
“No, wait, we just kissed. If my coltf-”
Lyra put her hoof on Bon-bon's mouth. “Relax, that was something I came over to tell you. He got a bit too drunk so somepony’s taken him home.”
“Oh, but that… How long have I been by the buffet?”
“It’s been a couple hours since I last saw you.”
“Typical, I really need to work on that,” Bon-bon muttered. “Is he okay? Did they know where to take him?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. He just got a bit tipsy and almost hurt himself, so they thought better safe than sorry. He was sober enough to tell them where he lived.”
“That’s good.” Bon-bon sighed. “I’ve really messed things up with him as well. He was always so nice and I took advantage of that, I feel terrible. I’ll apologize to him first thing tomorrow. Don’t want to leave another pony hurt and confused.”
“I hope you two can still be friends at least.” Lyra turned to lean on the table, scooting up right next to Bon-bon. “I’d like to find out more of these stories you’ve been telling about me.”
Bon-bon raised an eyebrow at her. “Why? You know what happens in them.”
“Yes, but I’d like to hear all the elegant ways you described me. ‘In walked Lyra, her beauty and grace brightening the very room.’”
“‘Unfortunately everypony was evacuated to make room for her ego,’” Bon-bon teased back.
Lyra chuckled, part of her taking that more as a compliment, somehow.
Bon-bon couldn’t help but notice that Lyra was still fiddling with her golden Lyre. She smiled at the sight. “I’m glad you kept that,” she said, motioning towards it.
“Heh, I couldn’t exactly throw it away; you would have shouted at me for not donating the gold to charity.” They chuckled as she lifted it up slightly to get a good look.
“And besides, it was just too important to me. Do you remember when you gave this to me?”
“How could I forget. You were crying, I was crying, it was all a mess of emotions. As far as confessions of love are concerned, probably not the best one.”
“It worked out pretty well though.” She gave Bon-bon a playful nudge. “I probably would have done a lot worse if it’s any consolation, and this gift was a great idea.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking when I got it.” She sighed into her forehoof. “That somehow having a gift would decrease the chances of you thinking I was disgusting.”
“You were worried that I’d freak if I thought any of those make-out sessions were anything more than platonic.”
Bon-bon almost snorted when she laughed at the memory. “What? No, kissing is something ‘best friends’ can do, right?” She joked, parodying her old self.
Lyra couldn’t help but join in laughing. “Wow, we were so dense back then.”
“You can say that again,” she said, having calmed her laugh down a bit. “And yet, somehow, we managed work out our feelings and actually have a relationship, and a pretty good one at that.”
Bon-bon moved to rest her head on Lyra’s shoulder. Lyra shifted her weight slightly, to make sure Bon-bon was comfortable, and then moved the Lyre so she could see it.
“Exactly, I feel like it represents that even though we almost messed everything up so many times, we still managed to get through it together.”
“Well, now you can add a couple more times I almost ruined everything to the list.” She lifted her head slightly to give Lyra a little kiss on the cheek. “I think we’re right about even now.”
Lyra smiled. “So we’ll actually go back to normal, just like old times.”
Bon-bon gave her a shy smile. “Well, not exactly like old times.”
“How so?”
“It’s as I said. There are ponies like us out there who need support, and I think we’re more experienced than most to give that support. Which means more charity work and policy meetings, for me anyway.”
Lyra moved in to nuzzle Bon-bon. “Sounds like something I could help you out with. What’s the plan?”
“Probably just start out helping where we can. But if we want to start achieving some legal rights then I’d have to organise some kind of charity or lobby group.”
“You’re going to try and make a name for yourself then.”
Bon-bon let out a sheepish chuckle. “That’s a bit of a stretch. As long as we do some good for a handful of ponies, it will be worth the effort. But I think making changes at the local level will be our best case scenario.”
Bon-bon’s biographer looked up from her paper with a chuckle. Placing her pen down on her table, she gave Bon-bon a cynical look.
Bon-bon, sitting comfily in her armchair, raised a graying eyebrow at the look. Despite her age, she was not lacking in energy, and was intrigued by her sudden disbelief at the story.
“What?” Bon-bon asked. Her voice had developed a slight croak, but she didn’t mind it.
“Well, it’s just, did you really say that?”
Bon-bon went to respond but was cut off by a voice from the left of her.
“She sure did. Truthfully as well,” chuckled Lyra. She was leaning back in her chair that was placed next to Bon-bon’s, who had stopped playing her lyre to join in with the conversation. “It’s weird to think now that those were the height of her ambitions.”
The biographer chuckled again, picking up her pen to write the next story in Bon-bon’s tale. Lyra also got back to her music after giving Bon-bon’s hoof a quick squeeze.
“I don’t get it, why was that such a funny line,” Bon-bon asked, yet to figure out the humour.
“Oh, you know, it’s just a bit funny that you thought local changes were the limit of what you would go on to do, especially when you consider what you have achieved.”
Bon-bon smiled, not one of pride, it was closer to one of content. She glanced over at Lyra, still playing beautifully. Her lyre skills had continued to improve even into her old age, something she says is down to always having inspiration close by. Yes, she had remained incredibly cheesy.
Bon-bon had indeed gone on to do things she never imagined were even possible, some closer to home than others. And while she was grateful for all the opportunities she’s had and has given to others, one has always been her favorite.
“Mums, I’m here. Hope I’m not to early, you said to come round about—” The mare speaking walked through the door and immediately realised her mistake when she noticed the biographer. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t interrupt you, did I?”
A slight blush of embarrassment appeared on her face. Her curly purple mane and yellow coat were both slightly messy from a long day of work, so she felt slightly awkward looking so unpresentable in front of a stranger.
“No, perfect timing actually,” Lyra said with a grin. “We were just going through some embarrassing baby and toddler stories of you.”
Their daughter, despite having the body of a mare getting to the end of being an early adult, her face suddenly turned embarrassed as if she was still a teenager and Lyra was telling those stories to her friends, something Lyra had actually done many times.
“But ma, you said they wouldn’t be in the biography.”
“I’ve told you many things.” Lyra's playful spirit was also something that she had managed to hold on to, much to the disappointment of her daughter at certain times.
“She’s just pulling your leg deary,” Bon-bon chuckled, “we just finished what I imagine will be a chapter. Now come over and give your mother a hug.”
The mare quickly trotted over to give Bon-bon an embrace and a little kiss on the cheek, and then gave Lyra an annoyed little look before doing the same her. She then sat down on a chair to the side of the three mares, facing them all.
“So, have you finally decided on what you’re gonna call the book?” She asked.
“Well,” the biographer began, “I have a couple of ideas, but my favorite is ‘Bon-bon: how a modest mare went onto becoming the most influential gay rights activist of her time.’”
“Catchy,” Lyra chuckled.
“It’s a work in progress.”
Their daughter gave Bon-bon a warm smile, one that Bon-bon returned. “I like it,” she said, “it suits you.”
“Maybe.” Bon-bon mulled over potential names in her head. “What about ‘Bon-bon: a life of chance encounters and almost messing everything up.’”
“I think that’s called life mum.”
She laughed. “Then I have certainly done a lot of living.”
