The Date

by lavendernoodle

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Random, Slice of Life, Human, Comedy
Length: 1018

Twi and Flash are finally going out! Everything is completely normal.

Twi and Flash are finally going out! Twi's been waiting for this day for months, and absolutely NOTHING can go wrong!

((((no actual sex))))

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-06 23:50:01 UTC

The Date

Twilight crawled through the revolving doors of Cnaterlot High. She took in a deep breath and then sighed. "Nothing is better than Cnaterlot High at..." She looked down at her watch. "Three forty-six in the PM! There really is no better time to be early for the next day!" The next day was Saturday.

"Twilight?"

Spinning around, Twilight hissed furiously. Whoever asked for her screamed. Twilight stopped, and looked up. "Oh, hi Sunset Shimmer!"

"Um...I just saw you go outside, pee on the lawn, and then come back inside. What was that about?'

Twilight stood and peered down at the miniscule, foolish grub who had dared question her. "You dare question your royal Highness Twilight Pancake Paradox Sparkle the Eleventeenth?"

The Bacon Grub took a step back. "I'm sorry. I just...you dropped your glasses."

Twilight "hmmfed" and folded her arms again her huge chest. "I don't need them, Bacon Grub."

Before she could react, Twilight's new friends came up behind the Grub. "Hey, Twilight! Sunset!" Rainbow Dash called.

Fluttershy grabbed Twilight's hand with her titan strength. "So...I heard this beeyotch got a date!"

Twilight squawked with delight. "It's true! It's true!"

"Who is it?" Apple Jackson asked.

"It's Flash Sentry!"

The friends screeched. Twilight looked at the Bacon Grub through her third eye under her bangs.  The Grub looked nervous, almost as if she was going to hurl all over Twilight's new jorts.

Rainbow Dash pulled out her phone. "I'll call a limo. We gotta get mani pedis!" They screeched again, but then got quiet and looked over at the Grub. They all knew what she was going to say before the Grub said it.

"Can I come?"

They laughed, and Twilight hurled in the Grub's face before crawling away.

The Uber arrived 0.4 seconds late, as Twilight expected. She knocked on the driver's window. When she driver rolled it down, Twilight went, "Euuhgh. Who are you? Where's Jose?"

It was an old white man. "I am George Washington. I think you called the wrong service, as I was supposed to pick up Thomas Jefferson."

Rarity bent down, showing the driver her boobs (which were much smaller than Twilight's). George was not impressed. "He's over there."

The girls and the driver turned their attention to the other old white man riding a hoverboard in huge circles around the portal. "Sup beeyotches!"

RD came crashing through. "Here's fifty bucks. Will you please take us, and promise to not tell Jose? He'll be jealous."

George shook his head. "Sorry, if I don't get Tom soon, he might break my hoverboard."

Twilight and Rarity looked at each other, and then back at the old man. "We'll go naked."

George's eyes popped out of his skull a bit. "Fifty bucks it is."

The girls stripped in the street and then hopped in.

After a satisfying hour or two of sex, mani pedis, and more sex, the girls headed home. When Twilight walked through the door of her house (still naked), she saw her old mentor Cadence sitting on the couch.

Cadence tap tap tapped with her long nails on the side of the couch. "Hey Cay," Twilight said.

"Hey Twilight. Love the boobs."

"Thanks." Twilight sat down. "Why are you here?'

"Me and Shining were gonna...you know, and Shining only likes to do it in your room."

"Oh, that's cool. Is he not here?"

"Nope, still at work."

"Oh." The two sat for a moment. "Well, I gotta piss. Usually I'd do it here, but you're a guest."

Twilight walked through the hallway to the bathroom. Her room was at the end of the hall right next to it. Twilight let down her beautiful purple locks, when she heard moaning coming from her room. Usually, it would've been Shining and Cadence, but Twilight's parents nor Shining were home.

Twilight pressed her ear against the door, and what she heard made her blush.

She shuffled out to Cadence. Pointing to her room, she said, "Your husband is having sex with my soon to be husband."

For a second, Cadence did nothing, only turning tomato red. Then, fast as a bullet, she ran to Twilight's room and screamed, "WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????"

Twilight didn't even want to know what would happen next. She grabbed the nearest pair of panties of the couch and ran out the door.

Finally, she reached Rarity's house. "A trusted servant like her would know what to do," Twilight thought.

She opened the door to Rarity's bedroom, and saw all of her servants together. "You're having a sleepover without me?"

"Yeah, cause we hate you!" Fluttershy said. They all laughed.

Twilight stopped. "What is the Grub doing here?"

Everyone looked at the Grub. "Oh, Twilight, she may be just a Grub, but she already kissed Pinkie and cleaned out my drug cabinet!"

Twilight sighed. "Ok, I guess she can be in my presence for one night then."

The next morning, Sunset Shimmer awoke and rubbed her sleepy eyes. When she saw a purple arm in front of her head, she screamed, waking up the other girls.

"What is it now, Grub?" Rarity asked.

"Look at yourself!" Sunset screamed. "I'm Twilight, you're Dash, Dash is Pinkie, Pinkie is AJ, AJ is Fluttershy, Fluttershy is you, and Twilight is...me."

They all screamed.

"What am I going to do?" Twilight whined. "My date with Flash is in two hours!"

Sunset grinned an evil grin. "Don't worry, Twilight. Flash will get his date."

Tap, tap, tap went Sunset---er---Twilight's foot. Finally, Flash Sentry, the sexiest man alive, walked through the door. "Flash!" Twilight said, and then threw her arms around him, giving him a big smooch.

When they let go for air, they held hands. "Well, ok then," Flash said, and then the two went for the door.

"Hold it right there!"

Suddenly, Sunset and the others walked through the door, completely naked. Twilight face-palmed. "Oh god." They took the Uber.

"That woman is an imposter! I am the real Paradox Sparkle Pancake Twilight the Eleventeenth! You just smooched the Bacon Grub!" Sunset screamed.

Flash looked at Sunset, who quickly shook her head. "Just keep walking."