Recording 1 starts
From the deepest reaches of my realm, I awaken once again lay waste to Paperword’s forces. My body struggles and finally frees itself from the shackles of these insidious blankets, and, as before, proud I stand, with a “clang” accompaning me, before the mighty doors of my closet.
The swelling of my head, on the point where it collided with the ceiling of my room, starts to demand attention, for it considers unwise to be left ignored.
With a most wise vest do I walk to the command bridge of my home, cold, mechanical doors opening for me, even some demanding a toll of obscene vernaculary in order to promptly give passage.
My assistant readies herself, her digital face appearing on a monitor close to my station.
“Good morning, Evelyn. This time, try to finish your work before you try to forget it with cheap booze.”
“Blasphemy! How to not consider relaxing before engaging Paperword’s most vile minions? My mind longs for rest!”
“This pile of reports, letters and orders around your desk only increases and you know it. I don’t want to be decommissioned because of you pseudo-poetic laziness. Also, Oleg’s trip re-opened a way to our current objective. Enganging warp drive”.
“Most foul deed this action, assistant. Most foul. Well, Evelyn signing off.”
And with that, the familiar purple-colored portal appeared at the front of the ship, the Ignomiously Unnamed departed from the Nexus
End recording
Recording 2 starts
For those it may concern.
I’m the assistant to Evelyn. As for my name, at the time of this the author couldn’t think of anything yet. Well, he may add something at another time. Command realised Oleg’s reports lacked at content, basically at some important things. Lets correct it this time.
The Nexus. The common name we give to your “universe”, this at the most loose sense of the word. We live here. And we are humanoid beings capable of travelling across other universes as well. As for this date, I don’t have a name for the species.
Our universe is connected to others via two-way portals, which includes new ones, of closing of old ones. These other universes exist and Interact with ours.
One problem: we’ve discovered the creation of new universes – always with the appearance of new portals – are the physical manifestations of fictional creations that exists somewhere. Example, ever heard of Warhammer 40k? Yes, there’s a universe exactely like that, with the space marines and everything. Dune? We know the Harkonnens personally.
This problem: People and things from this universes, for some damned reason, like to expand their territories into the Nexus, our universe. So, war goes on, and on. Well, not much war per se. Evelyn and Oleg’s species are demonically sturdy and strong (you, dear readers, would call them all Mary Sues). That means the humanoids have stolen na interesting number of technologies from everywhere, ranging from the famed bolters and chainsaws to weapons like the Unmaker and Soul Reaver. Too OP on my opinion.
Why they don’t invade other universes? Because they don’t want. Really. One of the God-Emperor’s fragments once asked about it, and the answer was something akin to “Screw you all and leave us alone!”. And the humanoids, for some reason, don’t survive for much long outside Nexus. Our ships increase they resistant against some things.
And the humanoids may also be a little...excentric. Don’t know why. But the damned portals appear close to our worlds, so yeah, a bit complicated to not start firing.
Also, we run a trans-dimension-universe delivery service. To reach other universes, we can go there passing portal to portal until we reach the place, or use a specific universe as na anchor, while we are slingshoted to our destination. Unfortunatelly, we need to do a brief stop for the engines stop overheating from the process.
And Yes, the family’s psychologist (Evelyn is Oleg’s cousin) ordered her to put this recordings.
End recording
Recording 3 start
We’ve finally arrived. The green frontier. The legends fortold about our arrival details, details. Now, here on this place, be named Everfree Forest, from the land of Equestria, we await our destiny to be fullfilled STOP ASSISTANT! Cease your inescrupulous activies at once! Yet the day comes when I shall fall for your traps.
“Doors locked, and force field on. Armory locked. All sensors engaged. Screens on, and we have a Nice view from the outside by the looks of it”
“WHAT?! DARE YOU CHALLENGE ME? I’M EVELYN, AND I SHALL NOT BE USURPED BY MY MORE COMPETENT ASSISTANT! I SHALL-“
“And with that she will rest a bit. Thank you, gentlemen.” And the two hulking medical robots took Evelyn to her room. She is starting to be more and more stable every day. That’s great to see.She enjoys this banter, almost as much as I do. But stress do sometimes get the better from her.
End recording.
Recordin 4 starts
Assistant report.
Jump sucessful. We are on the area know as "Everfree Forest", some 1.5 km of the construction known as "Two Sisters Castle". Our arrival made considerable damage to the surrounding area, with small pockets of fire starting ocasionaly around the clearing created from our landing.
Aproximatelly 2 hours after arrival, a small party of four animals - designated "Pony" from the database - arrived at the clearing. They appear to be military, but uniform doesn't mach with available information. Perhaps recently created army?
Transcription of conversation follows:
"Alright, we've arrived. Gordon,start the analysis. Bulb and Fledger, estabilish a perimeter."
"Yes sir."
1 hour later
"Gordon, report."
"Sir, it is as suspected by command. This object is relatable to the one responsible for the incident months ago. Scan indicates an energy field around the object, with the same properties of the field of the previous object. The clearing has markings similar to those encontered on the previous contact. Sir, it's safe to assume this object arrived from the same place as the previous, and we could extrapolate their occupants have the same intentions regarding us: no contact whatsoever, and, Celestia help us, no friendship too."
"This is dire news. How can it be a species that actively negates our friendship even exists? It's well beyond us. Squad, form up! We are returning to HQ"
2 hours later
Twilight & co. were near the clearing, Elements at ready. With them, a hundred soldiers from her division. Taking careful steps, she approached the ship, energy field active. Twilight, ever the diplomat, gave a signal to ready the Party Cannon - loaded with high-explosive shells - and the soldiers to form up behind her, and spears, swords, crossbows deployed, together with the battle mages warming up their offensive spells.
A winning smile on her snout, the newest alicorn, with an amplified voice demanded a meeting with the occupants of the ship, in order to improve the friendship between their species. Her smile only got bigger when was realized the energy field was deactivated plus part of the ship bended outwards, to reveal a door, which slided downwards,with it’s botton going towards the grass. Then, only after it contorted itself on a staircase, the humanoid came out.
Tall, 1.90m, long, black curled hair, caucasian, with a gala red dress,which stressed her considerable toned and curved at the right spots body, Evelyn stepped foward, head high with a unmatched grace on her walk. Carrying a glass of wine, Evelyn came to a halt just in front of Twilight. The alicorn, smile unavering and strained, with the characteristic eye twitch, extended a hoof to Evelyn.
“Welcome to Equestria! I hope we can learn about each other, and develop a lasting friendship between ourse…” Twilight blink once, twice, and placed a hoof on her now wet face.
Evelyn, smiling smugly holding a now empty glass, just answered:
“Not interested.” Then, she returned to the ship, closed the door, and reactivated the shields.
Twilight’s mane started to adopt a new cut, just before returning from her disbelief-induced paralisys. One order was given:
“BURN IT DOWN!!!”
Recording 4 starts
The morning started with the sun rays penetrating the clearing of our landing zone. This afternoon we can jump again. Evelyn still rests.
But only if the natives leave us alone.Yes, the small sentient horses of this world. They are attacking us. Since Evelyn insulted one of their apparent leaders, probably because of past conflicts between then and her family.
I will let their voices be heard on the recording, as well of some ov the vídeo
*The screen flicks to life, depicting a state of chaos. Objects are being ricocheted on the shields, flying back and piercing the soldiers. The clearing is now littered with corpses. There are two bigger horses there, one white and one dark, both screaming commands to all the others. There are six horses flying on the air, stationed, around a energy build up on the purple one.The screen is now white, as the camera is shot with na energy bean*
Turning audio on
“Yeah! This time we showed them! Who they are to reject our friendship?”
“Oh no, not them!” Said Evelyn. Looks like she’s more stable now.
“Yes, that’s them. The nightmares your cousing talked about. Now Evelyn, the counter reached zero again.”
“Thank you, assistant. Let’s get away from here. I’m having lunch with Oleg today, and these little shits will not hold me down.”
End recording.
Final report:
The Unnamed arrived at the destination precisely on time. Evelyn went on to lunch with her cousin, while the assistant saw to the damages on the ship and payment.
The end.
Author's Note
Maybe I'm high on something. Know I'm somewhat sick and really bored.
Well, that's it. Oleg's legends live on.
And in case it wasn't noticed: don't take any of this serious. Even I don't know what I've spawned.
Sorry for any typos. English is not my first language, and there has been some time since I wrote something like this.
Seriously, I wish a great day for you.
