Numbness

by TheEnemyCube

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Tragedy, Sad
Length: 750

I can't remember how long I've been in this darkness, my hooves carrying me somewhere that I can't even remember anymore. I wish somepony would come and help me, to free me from this cloying, thick numbness that invades my very being.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-01 12:27:06 UTC

Darkness

I can't see, the world is dark to me. My hooves carry me on a path that is not my own, through the darkness to somewhere that I can't even remember now. I've been doing this for so long that I've forgotten who I am, going through motions that have become me as much as I have become them, unfeeling and mechanical.

Little motes of light flicker in and out of view, flitting past my eyes and bringing with them images of faces of friends, laughter shared and company enjoyed. They bring a smile to my face every time they appear, but they quickly fade away into the darkness, returning me to my numb, emotionless state. I want to cry, I want to break free from the darkness, but it's just so hard. It's hard to feel anything anymore.

Every now and then, the darkness recedes, and my hooves carry me down a different path, one where I feel again, where I can enjoy myself and where I can be happy. The darkness always comes back though, and I find myself becoming numb once again. I hate this path, but it is one that I trot down without fail, for I cannot find the motivation within myself to remove myself from it, the little motes of light filling me with momentary warmth before fading away.

One day, after who knows how long this darkness had surrounded me, suddenly I found the light again, I found somepony who made me feel like me again. She's beautiful, and I love her so much. She makes the darkness go away, she fills me with warmth, and the motivation to live once again, but then she has to leave, every day, without fail. And I can't follow her, for fear of upsetting her or doing something that may result in her rejecting me.

Every time she sees me, she smiles this beautiful smile, and it fills me with hope, and motivation. I love that smile, I love her mane, I love everything about her. I wish I could see her more often, but the darkness comes back when she leaves, and I cannot do anything but weep inside, longing for her touch and her love, wishing she could banish the darkness once more.

She eventually moves in with me, helping me overcome the darkness, the thick, cloying black that had torn at my very soul, banishing it to whatever hell it had came from. Every time she tells me that she loves me, my heart flutters, and I proclaim my love to her every time in response.

We've been married for a year, and my beloved wife, Viridian Fields has been pregnant for nine months of that. Today I got a call that she was in labour! I'm so excited that I rushed to the hospital as soon as I could! When I got to the maternity ward, I could hear her cries of pain, and the doctor telling her to push. I could hear the almost crazed beeping of the heart monitor as I got closer and closer, until I heard that sound. That one, painful note that has been burned into my mind. That long, single tone. I heard rushing, and clattering, and the word "Clear!" over and over, but nothing ever happened. My wife was dead, and with her, our daughter Sunny Pastures.

The darkness suddenly came rushing back in, my heart beating faster than ever before, but all I could feel was the thick, cloying numbness in my limbs and in my soul. I welcomed it, I relished in it. Anything to get away from the pain of what had happened, and the loss that I had experienced. My limbs felt cold and heavy as I turned from the door, slowly making my way out of the hospital as tears silently streamed down my face, my mind filled with the agonized wailing of one who has lost all hope and all will to live in one fell swoop.

I sit here, letting the wind flow through my mane for a few moments as I contemplate what has happened to me. The dark has receded one, final time. I stand up and quietly speak, tears streaming down my face and dripping down into the grass, "My beloved Viridian, my daughter Sunny. We'll be together again soon." I slowly take a step, and topple forward over the edge, feeling the wind rush past my body as I fall.