Prologue - Matron of Midnight
Autumn was my absolute favorite season. It was something I had decided long ago. While the shades of orange, red, and just about every color on the leaves had a lot to do with it, the serenity I felt during fall wasn’t matched by any other time of year. A big factor was the mental stimulation; I could walk for hours through a forest and be lost in my own thoughts, have inspiration that made me feel like I could do anything- that’s to put it simply, at least. My mind works in weird ways.
So never in my years had I imagined any of this during autumn, or rather any season. The guilt, pain, fear, all in the midst of fall. Even being involved with Princess Celestia and her mysterious villains never prepared me… for, well, an apocalypse. A world brought to its knees with no one but myself and a few others to bring it back up. And did I mention the world might as well be shackled, beaten, and on the verge of death? And that it’s supposed ‘savior’ had some sort of sickness–some sort of disease?
I shuddered with the memories of how it all started, the elements shattering to her death.
I turned to the figure beside me with tired eyes, my whole body screaming out for sleep. The figure cackled. “Ain’t no rest for the wicked,” he hissed.
With the disease came the hallucinations of a creature who proclaimed himself to be “Discord.” I didn’t know why he suddenly appeared a few weeks ago, though I did have theories, but it soon became clear he had no intentions of leaving.
I snorted at myself, the world around me coming back into focus before I lost myself in thoughts. I knew I was getting off track, it was just…. The elements, my friends, this thing afflicting me… none of this made sense. I hurt ponies and they continued to feel that hurt every day I didn’t do something about it. No amount of arguments with my brother could change that. Shaking my head, I looked up just in time to avoid walking head first into a lightpost. The beast sneered behind me.
“Dumb as ever, Twily Sparkle. Why don’t you take that stupid little head of yours and pay me a visit for once? I’m not a hallucination you dumb twat!” he appeared in front of me, grinning. “But you’re too stubborn, aren’t you?”
With a scowl I turned away from him, learning over the past few weeks that responding did nothing.
A raindrop landed in my eyes, causing me to wince. It was pouring, the gentle pitter patter of rain thrumming inside my ears. I looked up and down the pale grey beam in front of me. It’s funny, seeing a light post in a place where light might as well be rarer than diamonds.
Rarity would like that analogy...
There was a sketch on the ground beside the pole, and I picked it up with a hoof. I saw the word 'WANTED' scribbled below a soaked picture of a purple pony. My brows furrowing, I scoffed and dropped it into a puddle, resuming a brisk trot. I glanced up to see stars breaching part of the clouds.
Instead of radiant nebulas, an eternal full moon made me shake my head and I sigh. Whether it was supposed to be night or day, I had no idea. Somebody probably did, but it wasn’t me. I was just a useless mare with crazy ideas that hurt ponies.
“Miss Sparkle, may I ask why you never talk to me anymore?” Discord flashed before me, breaking my trance. He hovered with his head lying against his forearms.
Groaning, I looked him in his eyes for a moment. There had been times where this odd figment of my imagination provided insight, provided comfort... but most of the time…
“Please,” I spat in a low voice, "I'm not in the mood." I walked right through him as he dissipated.
Grazing past a thestral guard, my heart began to pound as his eyes pierced the back of my neck. Muscles tensing, I had to repeatedly tell myself he didn’t know my secret.
I saw the towering silhouette of Golden Oaks Library. Making my way towards the library, my hooves start to buckle that I almost tripped over myself.
I hadn’t been to the library ever since the incident. I didn't want to blow my cover. I had to give Nightmare Moon time to believe I had given up. Or at least, to let myself believe that she believed that. To had given up on my friends... I had to admit there were times when I considered running into the library and just letting whatever happens happen.
Maybe I could see them again. Maybe I could say sorry. The world almost seemed hazy with these thoughts, spinning with each step I took. The mud clinging to my ankles and hooves didn’t help.
When I looked at the homes near the library, I could almost see the sunlit picture I had of them layered over the cold, unwelcoming memories I had now: Ponies smiling over torn clothes and garbage littering the streets, Pinkie Pie beaming as she bounded off to introduce the town’s newest resident.
My head jolted forward as a freezing wind weaved its way around my body, sending shivers down my spine. The smell of sweat reached my nose as I came closer and closer to the library, every muscle within me tightening as I tried to hide my scrunched muzzle.
Immediately I saw the two guards that stood on either side of the door- which wasn’t a very uncommon sight in Equestria; guards were everywhere to instill fear. To enforce the magic ban too. But I was getting off track; what disturbed me most was that it was the very door that led into the tree. My tree. I tried to hide my emotions as I stared at it with a mix of anger and reminiscence. That door had been mine. Those books were mine.
That library; It had been welcoming, safe. Not guarded and fearful. I closed my eyes, breathed in, and gave a slight nod to the batponies. They responded with cold gazes off into the night, saying their words like robots: “What is your business here?”
“To destroy your Queen’s reign and take back Equestria!” Discord announced from my side.
I replied as calmly as I could. “I simply wish to check out a book. May I?”
“There ain’t no librarian, so just take whatever and keep it.”
They curtly nodded, though I could practically taste their unease as they exchanged hushed whispers and glances. They knew something was up. Steadying my hoof, I opened the door.
My throat immediately clenched as I hacked on a year’s worth of dust. My eyes darted closed while the door slammed behind me. Turning to the satchel straddled on my back, I dug around the soaked items within, withdrawing a flashlight and soggy piece of paper. I clicked it on and looked around before shining it on the list which only had two things: ‘Get book, get out.’ I couldn’t check anything off yet. Shoving the list back where it came, I walked up to one of the shelves. The books were all in the same place, nothing touched. Who would dare touch anything in the traitor’s former home, anyways? Taking a deep breath, I looked around in dead silence. I cleared my throat.
“I have to make this quick; there’s no way I’m not being suspicious already, coming here out of the blue,” I mumbled to myself, almost adding ‘in the middle of the night’. I scanned the shelves for anything that might help. In fact, this was my last resort; after a year of nothing but thinking, I had no solutions. No ideas. Nothing to save our world. Well, nothing but an old book I think I remembered. Whether it was a product of my insanity I had now to discover. Discord was a product of my insanity, after all.
Besides, I was getting sick with something that could easily spell disaster for me, so I had to take risks. You know, the weird sickness that created Discord? My slowly blackening hooves underneath the disguise reminded me that time could be short, and I had to act now if I wished to accomplish anything for Equestria.
“If I know LuLu as well as I’m certain I do, she’s already on her way to stop you Sparklebutt!” Discord said as he walked alongside me. I cocked an eyebrow, giving him a puzzled ‘huh’. He stayed silent, so I spoke up.
“Lulu? Don’t you mean Nightmare Moo-”
My ears pricked up as I fell silent. The door clicked open behind me. Discord vanished. All instincts told me to flee, yet somehow I held myself still, pretending to search for something besides what I wanted. Which was still anything. But if it indeed was, well, her, I might as well take my demise with as much dignity as possible.
“You know, nobody has been here in a long time…” a voice mumbled from behind me. Relief instantly washed over me as I turned to face him. A smile somehow came over me.
“Thank Celestia it’s you, Shining. I thought you were going to stay back at camp,” I whispered, flashing an even bigger smile as I looked up and down his disguise. “A red stallion with black hair? Really?”
“Hey, not everyone can be a pretty white mare with a sad excuse for silver hair,” he joked back, standing beside me with a toothy simper. I snorted while he beamed at his own “joke”.
Discord suddenly leaned over me, whispering in my ear. I grinned.
“I was just commenting on the fact it was a stallion.”
“Ouch.”
We stood in quiet for a moment looking at one another, Discord’s snickers fading as he vanished again, my smile disappeared with him. I looked past Shining to a certain book sitting on the floor. A party book, to be precise. One Pinkie Pie would’ve enjoyed… I growled, turning away for a moment.
Everything’s my fault, including them being gone. Thought after thought and thought. But when I looked back, it was gone. I looked down and tuned out my emotions.
“You know, Nightmare Moon should be here any moment. This is suspicious enough with me here, but now you? We’re bound to be caught,” I said quietly. The tap of his hooves against the wood echoed through the library before he touched his hoof to my head, gentling guiding me back to look at him.
“Oh, I know… I remember you as a filly, Twilight...” as he trailed off, my eyes darted back to him, watching his countenance twist into a frown. I needed to say something, didn’t I? As I replaced his disguise with his real image in my head, I saw the both of us. When we were younger. Times when we would play hide and seek, or run around threatening to tell on each other. Times when life was good and it was greatly because I had him. When we didn’t have to remember the good times, because we were in them. Times taken away because of my mistakes.
Gods, what they must’ve done to our parents… Is this seriously the first time I’m considering them? I bit into my cheek, drawing blood. I was stupid as usual.
“Now we’re on a wild goose chase for a book,” he said under his breath. I pushed him away for a second, watching as he cast his eyes up and down, giving me his worried face. Putting on a straight face myself, I switched the subject of interest.
“Shining… I know there’s something in here. Don’t give up, please,” I murmured while putting a hoof on his back. I wanted to add more as I saw tears begin to well in his eyes before he shook his head, looking away.
“What am I supposed to do when I can’t even help my little sister?”
“Hey, don’t let some liquid pride get you down!” I joked. Silence fell, an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness following it. I began chewing on my cheek again.
“We both know that there was nothing you or anyone could’ve done for her, or anything you can do for this, th-this thing I have.” I tried to stay confident. He shook his head again, his eyes meeting mine. I knew he didn’t want to think about it, just like everything else, but I continued. “We both lost her and so much more. This is why we have to do this, why we have to try no matter what!” I sputtered out, trying to start some sort of inspirational speech. He cut me off with a growl.
“Twilight, if that bitch comes, and we can’t escape, you know what we discussed.”
“When she comes, actually. I can feel her magic getting closer~” Discord sang from behind. I closed my eyes.
“Shining, I’d never let you do that. Besides, if anyone should be caught, it should be the mare who’s sick.” I tried to be extra firm as more memories of us swirled through my mind. As much as I tried to be numb to their effects, each image of him still stung.
“Then let’s not waste any more time,” he barked back instantly, turning towards a shelf. “So… what are we looking for, exactly?”
“Equestrian Guide to Alicorn Lore,” I chirped back. My eyes moved from row to row as I shone the light on them.
“You mean the foal story book?” He rolled his eyes as I glared back at him. “What are we really looking for?”
I scoffed. “Nightmare Moon a foal’s story too, huh?” I shot back before taking a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry I’m on edge. But I remember reading something in the book about using the elements without all the bearers.” I was going out on a limb here, though- the book itself had been questioned for its credibility before everything. I cleared my throat. “Trust me, what have we got to lose?”
“Each other,” he said before silence rang in my ears. I winced, rubbing away tears with my free hoof. Foalhood memories don’t matter now. I kept my head forward. But somehow my eyes crept back to see what he was doing. I saw tears climb down his cheeks and fall on the ground, my ears falling back. I knew what he was thinking, memories of a beaten and battered Cadence racing through my head. When wasn’t he thinking of her? When wasn’t I thinking of her and everyone else who’s suffered?
“Shining, I know I sound crazy, but you can’t give up-”
I felt my heart climb to my throat when purple flashed in the corner of my eyes. I spun around to see him using magic, levitating the book. Using a spell that could be traced in seconds by the batpony guards standing outside of the library. Traced by Nightmare Moon’s many anti-magic enchantments. His eyes met mine and we both knew what we were feeling; fear.
The book suddenly skidded across the ground towards me as Shining lost his disguise, revealing himself to be clad in armor, a sword in his magical grasp. I scrambled to pick up the book as he ran towards the door, casting a shield just as the guards pounded against the wooden entrance. Their shouts went through one ear and out the other. I kept trying to push away memories of Shining. But when I saw him, ears back and teeth grit, all I could picture was my Big Brother in the old Golden Oaks Library.
I saw the room spin before me as I tucked the book in my satchel, ready to teleport out as my eyes met with his. I knew that spell was no mistake. He wanted to be taken by her, just like Cadence was. I knew why. I knew everything was because of me. Conversations filling my head, tears blurring his image, I looked back at him.
“Shining, please-”
“Twilight, go!” he shouted over me.
My vision bleary, I didn’t even hear myself yell ‘I love you” as the world faded into greens and browns. I found myself in the everfree; the one place where magic couldn’t be traced. Despite my dizziness, I galloped down a faded trail. I could barely focus on what had recently transpired as the rain soaked my fur. One thought ended up racing through my head; find shelter.
But everything distracted me from that; the crunching of the leaves under my hooves, the echoing cries of animals out into the forest, the stench of something foul, the silhouettes of trees looming over me like towering beasts ready to attack.
Of course, that’s when my hoof snagged on a vine and my head smashed against the ground, the book flying before me as the world blacked out. The last thing I saw was a snaggle toothed grin.
When I opened my eyes the last thing I expected was to see droves of warm colors surrounding me, glittery highlights illuminating the area instead of dark shadows. Looking down, the first thing I notice is my hooves; or rather, the fact that I could see through them.
Every instinct within me told me to scream, run, do something, but an overwhelming sense of calm pushed these feelings aside. Eyes darting around, I saw the sky was blue for the first time in what felt to be ages, trees surrounding me as they shed their leaves. Golds, reds, fiery oranges- it was beautiful and left me with a sense of calm, even happiness.
In front of me was a winding trail covered in autumn leaves, scattered rays of sunlight as far as the eye could see. I smiled. My only sense in this place seemed to be sight. No smell, no feeling, nothing but my eyes. In any other situation, I’d be scared, yet I wasn’t and I couldn’t tell why. Maybe it was because it was autumn.
That’s when I looked to the side to see piercing blue eyes staring back at me. It shattered the peace as I felt my whole body shake, my pupils dilating. I could feel something cold, taste something sour, everything came to me. Trembling, I backed away from her as the autumn forest began to turn grey.
“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” I whimpered out, before feeling something soft collide with me. I turned around to see Rarity looking down at me. She scowled, clicking her tongue.
“I didn’t mean to!” I croaked out before I saw Rainbow Dash and the others emerge from the trees. My heart raced when Shining was among them, a pink figure looming over him. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone!”
They grimaced at my words.
“Please, I’m sorry… I’m-”
A voice called out from behind me. Turning back, I saw the image of Discord racing towards me. My heart beat faster as I tried to turn back to the trail, only to be faced with the images of those I’d wronged. I was cornered. I felt small.
The draconequus came to a halt as he stood before me. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.
“Why are you here?” I asked slowly, taking a few steps back as he returned my confused glance. Cowering, I turned back to the trail, everything was gone and the colors were back again. My stance straightened. “None of this makes sense! Oh, I’m a mad mare.” I sat down with a huff.
“I… I think this is the first time I’ve been honestly confused,” he said with a paw scratching his neck. “I just followed your magic.” But as I watched his eyes trail behind me, a look of fear came over his face for a brief second. I turned behind me. It was nothing but forest.
“Twilight Sparkle, I am now just realizing how I am able to torment you. If you have any shred of intelligence in that thick skull of you, and since I’ve come to care just a little bit, I suggest you listen to me very closely and don’t. Trust. Anyone.”
I turned around. “Wha-”
“She’s waking up! Quick, someone fetch her some water and a fresh ice pack.”
“I said leave her alone!”
I felt a throaty groan claw its way out of my mouth, the world around me growing louder with the sound of hushed voices. My head burned as I drew in short, sharp breaths, the fiery sting like a knife shoved inside my skull. I hated memories by now. They still managed to edge their way into my head. I moaned again. Why me? Why now, when I was…
Where was I? This time I welcomed the memories, sifting through only to draw blank when I hit the library.
I knew I should be up, figuring out just what the heck was going on. My body protested any movement, though. I still found myself cracking an eye open, squinting as a bright light shone in front of me. Quickly silhouettes of ponies made their way into my view, their voices coming as susurrations while I found my head filling with pictures of autumn leaves.
What could that mean-
I let out a yelp when icy cold hooves jabbed against my sides. They forced me to my hooves and away from the comfortable bed. I rubbed my eyes, two ponies standing before me, blocking the light and allowing them came into focus. Craning my head forward a bit, I made out a green unicorn with a pale blue and white mane.
My ears pricked up as the corners of my lips rose. “Lyra, is that you?”
Her eyes lit up at the name. “Twilight, it is you!” she called out with a toothy grin, wasting no time to hurl towards me. We met with a hug that knocked the wind out of me, my head throbbing with the sudden jolt. Breaking away, I took a look around, instantly noting the tension of the other ponies in the room; silent stares, twitching ears, anxious pacing. They were wary. They were… strangers?
Where am I?
“Um, I missed you too and all, but where are we, and why are we in a hut with no floor and water in it?”
My eyes met hers again, Lyra letting out a nervous chuckle. She snapped back an order to leave, stomping her hoof into the muddy ground. The ponies around her quickly backed away, leaving the two of us in the hut alone. I couldn’t help but notice one of them had a large cut on their hoof, with an oddly familiar cutie mark. I shook my head.
A torch sat behind Lyra, flickering back and forth, making our shadows dance along the walls. Lyra trotted up to it, retrieving it with a spell. It hovered beside her, the lime-colored mare’s brows furrowing as she looked at it. I squinted in turn, my headache non-ceasing as the bright light stung my eyes. She cleared her throat.
“Remember when such a simple thing like light wasn’t precious?” she whispered solemnly, her voice cracking as she sat down. Her words reflected my thoughts awfully well. I crawled back to the bed, now noticing the fact it was built from what appeared to be sticks and a variety of other things. Perhaps Lyra herself made it? I tucked my hooves under me as I put my head down. I knew I was in for a story, and I could have some time to process things. Lyra cleared her throat.
“When Nightmare Moon took over, she forbade the use of magic in order to prevent any possibility of an uprising. No flying unless it was official business approved by Nightmare Moon herself- you know all of this already. So, what were we going to do?” She sighed, digging her hoof into the ground absent-mindedly. “We fled to the Everfree.” She chuckled a bit, still a nervous edge to her laughter. “So, long story short, we built camp here, and have been trying to start a rebellion of sorts against her. Ya know, to bring the sun back and all.”
“Huh, that’s kinda how my brother and I did things-”
Suddenly, she shot up, lurching close to me. She lowered her voice, whispering, “I can trust you Twilight, right? As a friend?”
Though hesitant, I nodded back slowly. That was, until his words repeated in my head: don’t trust anyone. Where was he anyways?
Shaking it off, I turned back to her. What did I have to lose? Clearing her throat, Lyra spoke, laughing again.
“There’s no hope, Twilight! How are we ever going to defeat someone powerful enough to defeat Celestia, for Tartarus’s sake! Look, I’m just trying to keep these ponies from going insane by now.” She drew back from me, and I let go of a breath I didn’t even know I was holding on to. “Twilight, please, I know you were Celestia’s prized student. You have so much magical potential, and I remember how clever you were. Can you help us?”
I opened my mouth as I soaked in the compliments a bit, but I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my forehead as I closed my eyes shut. When they reopened, though, I was surrounded by something vaguely familiar…
“The… forest?” I muttered hazily, finding myself surrounded by tall, gnarled oak trees in the middle of autumn. I began to recall the last things that had transpired when I was here, all the way back to when I woke up. Only this time, as I gazed town to my hooves, they were solid. I could feel the leaves crunching underneath them.
I spun in a circle, searching for anything that might hint at Discord or my friends being here. Nothing but endless trees full of colors. I looked back the trail, feeling the urge to walk upon it subsiding. Dropping into a sit as my tail swished out in front of my forelegs, I tilted my head at the scene before me; gentle fall breeze, colorful change of leaves, shimmering sun beating down. Everything was like a perfect day for me.
“What… is this?” I called out, vexed. I half expected for Discord to announce himself in some stupid way like he usually did. The gentle rustle of leaves was the only thing to respond. Snorting, I clambered up into a stance, deciding to follow the trail until something happened. I kind of felt lonely without him-
No. Don’t accept your insanity just yet.
I shook my head. But the moment my hoof touched the dirt, I found myself hurled into another part of the forest, two creatures standing before me. Stumbling forward face first into the ground, the voices continued speaking in muffled murmurs.
I squeaked and swiftly scurried off behind a tree, making myself as small as I could while still peering out. When I saw they had no reaction, I slowly made my way out, watching to see if they reacted to any sounds she made. Nothing. Standing up straight, I watched the two, their voices reaching my ears.
“I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in a while,” a distantly familiar voice chuckled out, paired with a sleek blue alicorn…
“Princess L-Luna?” I called out softly, garnering no reaction as she stared at the being beside her.
“Well, that’s just because I’m the funnest thing in Equestria!” the being chirped back. The…
“Discord?”
“Youweren’tsupposedtoseethat!” his voice suddenly shrieked from behind me, my ears ringing as I whipped back around to him
“Why are you showing me this? Why am I here? What in Tartarus is happening?” I hissed through grit teeth before pausing. I noticed something on him I’d never seen before; embarassment. His voice overpowered my thoughts.
“Because Sparklebutt, the Nightmare magic is in you!”
I felt my body grow shaky, his words and Lyra and everything bombarding me with searing pain in my forehead. Discord backed up a little, furrowing his brows as his eyes traveled downwards. I felt my cheeks grow hot before he spoke.
“Your hooves…” he said breathlessly, “are getting worse.”
I followed his gaze, noticing the blackness almost up to my stomach. Beads of sweat on my head, I turned back to him with a scowl. “”What is this? This sickness’s cruel way of killing me just as I unite with my friend? Just as I come so far? Just as I lose my brother?” I could feel my anger begin to ebb away, my eyes growing wet as I shook my head. “What did I think, saving Equestria and all?”
I could’ve sworn I saw Discord with a look of genuine concern for a moment. He gave me a frustrated snort.
“This isn't time for waterworks! Purple horse, will you ever listen to me?” I looked up at him.
“Now if I have your attention, you aren’t sick at all. No, you’re much worse; there’s Nightmare Magic in you. Black magic as you probably know it. I couldn’t sense it until it became stronger- until it did all of this.” He gestured to the field around me. “If I must answer your questions to get you to shut up, the magic is what allowed me to talk to you, why I was stuck with you and you only. So if I must prove myself to be real to you, take this sage advice; do not trust anything this magic creates, for I can guarantee it is using things from your memories to manipulate you. Go into that book-”
“-the book?”
That’s when I remembered the book, noticing the lack of a satchel on my back. My heart leapt to my throat. The world seemed to fade in and out, switching between the forest and the room. I could barely make out Lyra’s worried calls as I tried to stumble my way to the door, only to fall face first into the mud. Pushing myself back up, I found myself back in the forest. Discord was still there.
I growled at him, still dizzy as I pushed closer to him. “What else do you know? Why are you doing this?” I hissed, gritting teeth while I shoved a hoof into his chest. Or at least, I would’ve if my hoof hadn’t traveled straight through it. Discord simply cackled, a popcorn bag appearing in his mismatched arms.
Feeling my chest boil, I let out a scream, charging straight through him as I tumbled through the leaves and up against a tree. Panting, I glared back at her as he watched me with a silent grin.
“Why?” I said breathlessly. “Why are you even here? Why can’t I just make you leave!”
He stopped for a moment, his grin fading.
“Do you want to save Equestria, Twilight Sparkle?”
I felt my whole body freeze up when he said those words. I was going to fail. I was powerless against Nightmare Moon, and every day I avoided her she held my friends hostage. But then…
“I-I do.”
He came closer.
“Then you’re stuck with me.”
Suddenly my eyes shot open. I scrabbled my way up, the mud clinging to my fur as I shivered. Looking around, Lyra was nowhere to be. Carefully treading to the edge of the door, I saw a small clearing full of similar huts. Way too similar huts…
In the center stood a small fire, ponies huddled around as piercing, icy winds blasted their way through the forest with the rain. Others rushed back and forth across the camp, silenced whispers almost blending with the wind as I took a step out. Whenever a pony got close, they gave me a weird look before hurrying away.
But what caught my attention was the fire; Lyra stood aside from it, turning to me.
“Hey Twilight! How are you doing?”
My eyes were locked on the fire, though, watching it flicker back and forth.
“Lyra,” I started,”how is there a fire in the rain?”
She froze. My blood ran cold as I saw her eyes shine green. Letting out a shaky chuckle, she smiled at me with her brows furrowed. “W-what do you mean?”
I shoved her aside and kept my eyes locked with the fire, carefully examining the mixes of red and oranges as they seemingly absorbed the droplets of rain. Like a forest in fall.
Without thinking, I shoved my hoof in it. Instead of being burned, the fire continued its flickering, doing nothing to my hoof. I turned back to Lyra.
She looked at me, confused. I remembered her, standing in the same crowd that had first witnessed the former image of Luna turned Nightmare. Looking her up and down, I saw various cuts and scratches across her body.
“Nightmare Moon killed you,” I said softly. Lyra laughed.
With that, the world suddenly blacked out, my body feeling as if it turned sideways. Rain and dirt stuck on every inch of me, my legs cramping up as I moved them. Blinking my eyes for a moment, I took in the everfree. I was right where I had fallen; right where I had left myself. How hadn’t I remembered this? This was all still awfully confusing. Had that whole thing been nothing but a dream?
Climbing up into a sitting position, I looked around myself, dumbfounded. What do I do now? Discord had told me something about the book, but he was still imaginary… right? My head craned sideways, the book lying in the middle of the trail. If I was crazy, I might as well roll with it. Using my magic I brought the book to eye level, skimming through the pages until an image caught my eye.
___
Chapter 1 - Such Pretty Lies
“Discord was is not a simple being. No, he is very complicated in both the way he came into this world and the way he tries to get out. His insane pranks and tricks can not be blamed on him. No, they were the result of a mare whose ignorance and lust for power hurt everything around her, including him. Twilight Sparkle didn’t know all of this though; Discord’s rambling stories she had once thought buried anger within her for Celestia made a little more sense though as she stared up at the being before her.
So in his years trapped in stone, he had sought a companion. As much as he hated to admit it, even gods can feel lonely. A magical trace was a silver lining in a place where he was trapped in his thoughts, but who was on the end of that line? Discord had yet to find out as he reached out for contact through the walls of stone.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. As my hooves clicked on worn cobblestone, this was the exact thought racking my head. No more of the.... Wandering. Wandering while Cadence stood her ground with my brother, knowing that I was a coward no matter how many times I told myself otherwise. But then again, I liked to play devil’s advocate. As I wandered aimlessly in the dim-lit town square of Ponyville, I took the quiet time to ponder.
Ponyville was a cold place to be these days. It was considered beneath the rest of Equestria; nothing but a dirty place where peasants wandered. Worst than the scum on the bottom of a horseshoe. Wonder what that would make me then… a pest? The last ponies here who had tried to rebell…
I had seen it. I had seen Nightmare Moon slaughter them in front of everyone and had done nothing. Shivers crawled down my spine as I bit the inside of my cheek. A metallic taste filled my mouth. I winced. Lyra was there, a hard working spirit who had never refused to give up even all the way back in magic kindergarten. She kicked until her last breath.
Cadence and my brother are foolish, aren’t they? Instead of coming up with a feasible plan, they lashed out on emotion. Foolish, foolish emotion that tormented me everyday. I growled, flicking my tail in the face of an unfortunate pony who had walked close to me. The me from a long time ago would’ve apologized. All I did was grunt as they shot daggers back at me. Hostility was no stranger.
My eyes traced the buildings around me. Of course I stayed in towns. Stupid pony need for contact. While Nightmare Moon wasted her time scouring tormenting unfortunate souls who tried to fight back, I stayed put where it all started; Ponyville. Of course she still set guards here, they were everywhere.
Any rebels caught were questioned ruthlessly, especially about me. Me, technically a rebel too, surely had to be hiding my pitiful self somewhere amongst the poor ponies wishing for their sun back. Murdered, dozens of them, in the name of lying about my whereabouts. I took some satisfaction in knowing that she was this desperate-
I bit into my lip. Thoughts like these were the thoughts that would lead into my insanity. I fought the cold memories that plagued me and sought a plan, which was unexpected from me, a bumbling twat- as she put lightly.
Shivering in the cold, I pushed the creaky door open into Sugarcube Corner. I had to come here, for her. For what Pinkie believed in. It was something to do while I made myself useless in hiding. Something to brighten my mood a little bit. I hacked into my hoof, drawing the attention of the two ponies within the shop.
The Cakes didn’t have a single clue who I was. They saw me as another customer while they flashed nervous grins. Silence was in the shop, though they covered for it with frantic movements as they stumbled their way to the counter. Mr. Cake cleared his throat.
“E-Excuse me Miss-”
“Snowflake,” I butted in with a smile, “My name is Snowflake.” I cursed myself for it immediately. Foolish, foolish, foolish. Why must you do this? At least smiles were easy to fake.
Despite their nervous demeanor, I kept my calm, trying to bring some brightness into the store. Pinkie would’ve wanted it. Mr. Cake curtly nodded back, oblivious beads of sweat rolling down his forehead.
“R-right.” He swallowed. “Miss Snowflake, what may I get you today?” His response was barely above a whisper, eyes darting side to side as his tail twitched. I tried to hide my wince while I watched. I scanned my jumbled thoughts for what I should purchase. My eyes darted to my satchel as a reminder of the limited bits I have. Three hundred fifty, to be exact. Working with ponies to help rebuild parts of Ponyville that had been destroyed earned me a little money.
“Just a chocolate cookie,” I said smoothly. I had expected my voice to come out in its usually trembling tone, instead sounding like the mare I was pretending to be; sweet, comforting, and not at all a fugitive hiding under a potion’s doing. Almost like her. Almost like how it was.
A thought crossed my mind- live out the rest of my life as this mare. But I dismissed it quickly with a bite into my cheek, tasting blood again; how dare I think that. Luckily, Mr. Cake barely noticed me, twitching across the place as he fumbled about in the display case. I breathed in sharply; Pinkie would want me to do something, wouldn’t she? That’s the whole reason I was here. To, in a sense, make up for her absence.
“Sir,” I said my words gently as possible, his head snapping up in an instant. “Please stop fretting so much, I’m just here for a quick snack.” While his tensed muscles relaxed the slightest bit, he still kept his eyes past me, locked onto the door. He sighed and slumped over, putting my cookie in a paper bag. I mulled over the fact I sounded a lot like Celestia before he cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry Miss Snowflake, but things are tough here with the constant patrol. I don’t want to mess up or I…” He shuddered a bit as I placed the bits on the counter. “I fear what would happen to my wife if she was left in this cruel world alone.”
My heart broke. No, it shattered. I should be fighting with Cadence and Shining Armor, standing up to this cruel world. I was letting all of this happen when it was my fault. If this wouldn’t inspire me, what would? I forced the corners of my lips to rise.
No, I thought. This was no time for self pity. Swiping the bag with a swift movement, I forced my most genuine smile. Smiles were rare these days. I saw him return a grin, even if it was half-hearted.
“I don’t think a good pony like you should worry too much; I wish the best for you!” With that I waved a hoof, trotting to the door. I heard his voice behind me.
“Wait Miss, you left a hundred bits extra-”
The door closed behind me, and I returned to the dull outdoors full of anxious ponies rushing to wherever they had to be to please a guard. My eyes met with a poor foal surrendering what little money he had to a snickering thestral. I growled. Did they have any sense of morality?
I had already made up my mind in what seemed to be the blink of an eye, and no amount of angry bickering within my mind could change it. Digging my hoof around for the last bits in my bag, I galloped towards the train station, carelessly shoving ponies aside with mumbled apologies. With a few suspicious glances and a quick motion I bounded on to the next train Canterlot. I was doing this. I was joining my brother and Cadence in the fight, I was going to do it!
At least, the thought of this raced through my head as I saw a pony sitting on a bench, newspaper in hoof. The caption of the front caught my attention in a heartbeat; “Princess Cadence Dead, All Hail the Queen!” My heart was racing, the world was spinning. I was too late. I messed up. What about my brother? Where was he? Without thinking I snatched the paper away from the stallion with an angry shout sounding from behind me, and I rushed off in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres without a word. ‘
Tears were welling in my eyes but I blinked them away, the looming barn creeping its way into view. Tears flying from my face, I was in the empty acres of Apllejack’s old farm, swarms of emotions flooding me. I had no care for the enchantments swirling around me as I used magic freely, levitating the shaking paper to eyesight. Papers rustled as I skimmed through.
I scanned each word, feeling my breathing halt as my eyes landed on his name. I read outloud.
“Shining Armor escaped the confrontation, though we have captured one of his affiliates, Colgate. She will be further interrogated on Shining’s and potentially Twilight Sparkle’s whereabouts before being publicly executed-” I felt vomit threaten to crawl up my throat as I read the horrendous details of how one of my former classmates- no, friend was to be executed. Hissing, I felt my horn charge up, and before I knew it the newspaper burst into flames. I waited too long, too long, too long.
I felt angry. I felt sick. I felt guilty, I felt everything. Letting the tears flow freely, I begged in the back of my mind for a timberwolf to slaughter me where I stood, the words racing through my mind. He was safe, but would he want to see my disgusting face after I hid in the shadows for over six months now? His fiancee was dead because of my inability to react. I gazed around at the sight before me; a lost history of Apple heritage. A lost princess. A lost-
“Why does such a pretty mare cry in the middle of an empty field?” a deep voice mumbled from what sounded to be around me. I sprung to my hooves in an instant, horn igniting as my eyes scanned the shadows for anything. Despite my fearful demeanor I scowled into the shadows, facing whatever consequences dared to challenge me in my time of grief. The glimmer from my horn made the shadows dance. They almost seemed to be tormenting me.
“Who are you!” I demanded, though my confident stance spoke nothing of the nervous energy racking my brain. The voice chuckled deeply, echoing throughout the woods as it boomed. I opened my mouth to retaliate, though a loud hacking cut me off as I closed my eyes and coughed. I barely noticed the dampness on my hooves afterwards.
“I am nothing but a figment of your mind, my dear Twilight.”
I felt my body stiffen at the name. In the corner of my eyes as they darted open I could’ve sworn I saw red flicker, but when I lashed around there was nothing to be seen. I swallowed my own blood as I bit into my cheek as hard as I could.
“H-how do you know that?” I sputtered out, tensing my wobbly hooves as my ears fell back.
“That is a dreadful habit; biting one’s self.” My pupil’s dilated. “But, it’s because,” he said in a silky smooth voice, “I’m in your head.”
A beast, for lack of a better word, materialized before me. I suppressed a scream with a hoof in my mouth, looking up and down its floating body. Mismatched limbs, long body, odd snaggletooth; this was a creature from nightmares not even the bloody Queen could create. Shaking my head, I backed up.
“Y-you're not possible!” I said under my breath, feeling my rump hit the rickety white fence surrounding the lot. I had backed into corner, the being reaching closer as he grinned. I felt small.
“What is this, some sick prank?” Ponies walking on the nearby trail turned heads at me, two guards locking eyes with me. Swallowing as my body trembled I squinted my eyes at the beast, noticing a distinct feature about him.
“I can see through you,” I whispered in a hushed voice, the old barn house visible behind him, even if blurry. I bit down without thinking, tasting blood from my hoof and feeling a stinging sensation shoot up my hoof. No, this was no dream. This thing was here, unless…
I pieced two and two together.
“You’re a hallucination coming from my encroaching insanity, huh?” I called out quietly, circling him as he stayed perfectly still. I nearly leapt in the air when a sudden booming cackle sputtered out of his mouth, his different forelegs clutching his chest as he heaved. Even as I came to the realization this was some contraption from my darkest fears, I felt indignant, stomping my hoof.
“Are you laughing at me? After all the crap I’ve been through?” I snarled, catching glares in the corner of my eyes. I had to calm down. Taking in deep breaths, I shot daggers at the beast, his countenance never failing to mock me.
“Whatever pretty lies you must tell yourself, dear,” he said inbetween laughs, landing to the ground soundlessly. “I bet you tell yourself Celestia’s coming back at night, too!” He snickered at his own ‘joke’. “Oh, you’re going to be fun. Though I must wonder about the aura coming off of you...”
Instead of responding, I pondered that if he was indeed a figment of my imagination, how this statement could relate to me and my feelings now. But of course, my pathetic feelings were interrupted by an overwhelming sense of nausea knocking me down to the ground, blood splattering as I coughed. I saw a pair of red pupils looking down on me, a flicker of something strange in them; fear. That was not an uncommon sight though. It reflected my feelings, anyways.
“Twilight-” he dissipated as my world spun, ponies pointing at me with suppressed looks of horror as they ran away in all directions. Muffled shouts for guards pounded my ears, my guise was gone, wasn’t it?
I felt my heart sink to my stomach; my potion wasn’t supposed to start fading for another week, or have these nasty side effects. Yet as my throat burned and red specks littered the ground in front of me, my eyes cast down to my hooves, noticing how they were fully encompassed in black. I wanted to scream with the rest of the ponies fleeing around me, but I felt the ever-harsh gaze of batpony guards searing into me. I looked up trembling, their spears pulled out and expressions matching the ponies around me; I couldn’t understand anything happening. Everything was so fast in this world.
The guards snarled over their terror; “What are you?” one hissed, ears pressed back and head lowered. The guard beside him followed in stance, digging a hoof in the ground. I shook my head, feeling my rump press into the fence again. I was being cornered into the place. Again, by something real. I felt tears well in my eyes as I turned away. Yet when I looked away my eyes met with sapphire blue ones accompanied by lots of pink.
“Coward,” she muttered, bleeding wounds covering her body.
I grit my teeth and saw her smile as blood trickled down her lip. I whipped back at the guards, who were shaking despite their fierce looks. I grunted, my horn igniting before I could control it. A magic beam struck one of them down, my aura wrapping around the other as it levitated him close to my snout. Of course, that’s when any shred of sanity left in me broke through the anger, a gasp escaping my lips as I saw the unmoving body of the guard in the background. Letting go with a sharp cutoff of my spell, I ran as fast as my hooves could carry me, into the Everfree.
“Run away from your problems, huh? Can’t face what you’ve done!” the draconequus flew by my side, his words like venom seeping from his lips. I dodged a tree, running away from him. “The mighty student of Celestia too scared to face her demons!”
“Leave!” I screamed, shooting a beam of magic into the middle of the forest. I skidded to a halt when it materialized in front of me. Instead of a mocking simper, he stared at me with a frown. Upper lip twitching as he growled, he looked down on me, his eyes shining with a fire.
“You want me to leave because I speak truth,” he snarled, bending down to face me eye to eye. “You want me to leave because you don’t want to realize that all you’ve done has been for nothing. You’re just like her.”
My cheeks grew wet. “I- I- why?” I managed to sputter breathlessly before my hooves buckled out, leaving me to cry in the dirt as the darkness seemed to swallow me. The only sounds to be heard were my sobs, my forelegs clutching my head as I cried. All the thoughts buried away poured out; guilt, fear, anger, sorrow. Everything. The beast snarled, and I felt a claw dig into me, lifting my head up.
“This is how you react? A crying mess? I expected my words to ignite something besides this in you,” he sneered, “how pathetic.”
Tears still fell down my cheeks. “You said it yourself; I can’t face anything! I-It’s too much!”
I braced myself for another angry remark, another venomous jab. What I didn’t expect was the soft voice that came out of him.
“I’m old in my ways,” he started, “ponies aren’t what they used to be.” He sighed, locking eyes with me. “How do I expect a soon to be corrupted mare to face her demons when they are her?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Wha-”
“Behind you.”
I whirled around in time to see a timberwolf lunge from the forest, glowing green eyes lighting up the forest as it opened its maw. I managed to surge my magic into my horn in time for it to explode in a mess of purple fire, the timberwolf howling as its limbs burst alight. It scampered off into the blackness as my horn stung, throbbing as I fell into the dirt again, panting. The beast loomed over me.
“You can’t just burst out magic, you’ll kill yourself!” He scolded, “you need a cohesive spell in mind before shooting out jets of magic! Foals learn this.” He sucked in his teeth, the stars sparkling through his fading body as his eyes lit up. “Ahh, how stupid of me for not thinking of this sooner!” He vanished in a flash of white, reappearing next to one of the trees. Shakily, I pushed myself up, facing him.
“If I can teach you to handle your magic abilities before the disease takes over, there’s a chance you’ll be able to fight it off yourself.”
“...what.”
“Yes, I, Discord, shall teach you!”
I laughed. He cocked an eyebrow.
“Ah, how the mighty have fallen. A hallucination of a beast is telling me it’ll teach me. Aha, hahaha!” With a step, I walked straight through him, watching as he faded into nothingness. Cadence was dead, I was hallucinating, and Equestria wasn’t getting any better. There was never a more perfect time to do something. I knew where Shining would be; in Canterlot at our old house.
Author's Note
So begins the backstory that leads us to the prologue! I hope it was okay
