Bittersweet is Quite a Flavor
Celestia says nothing as she sits down next to the statue in her garden. Generous amounts of moonlight highlights the smooth stone surface of the draconequus. Hardly any signs of aging are present, for even though the divine ceased to age, stone still could. There isn't a single trace of weathering or chipping that one might expect of such a relic, whereas the moon's surface is scarred with the presence of a tormented soul. Even the other statues would not be nearly as immaculate.
With a dip of her head, Celestia's pastel mane finds its way across her other eye. In her magic she holds a small basket which she sets on the grass, causing a faint rustling noise. She sees her sister, and then she sees her friend.
There was still silence.
"Hello Discord," she whispers as pleasantly as possible.
Really? You of all creatures decide to come here. What makes you decide to do something so uncharacteristically spontaneous, hmm? Don't you have some subjects waiting to be ordered? Perhaps some taxes to collect, or whatever it is an orderly ruler does.
"You must be rather lonely," Celestia goes on, "and I thought that maybe you could use some company... if you'd like it, that is."
Celestia, please. I don't need my eyes to be open to see that you're the lonely one. You're just as clingy as you were when we were small, aren't you?
She opens the basket just as quietly as she set it down. The small glimmers of gold light shimmering around it feel out of place in the world now bathed silver, blue, and purple with all the shades of Celestia's paler nights.
"I know it took nine hundred years — well nine hundred and seventeen — but it had just been so hard to act upon the idea of talking to you. I am not even sure if you can hear me," she mumbles between bites of a daisy sandwich.
You think talking is hard? Have you ever tried putting yourself in my shoes — all two of them? If I were free right now I'd gladly lend you a pair so you know just how it feels, to have my very existence flayed to bits in this ever-still, constant waking state. What do you think my mind has become? I can hear you in other parts of this garden, as it is now, and as it has been. Do you think I can't hear anything you say within the range of the tomb-like constraints you have imposed on me? You give tours of this cursed place!
"I'm not sure how much longer the spells that the Elements of Harmony have forced upon you and Luna will last, or what strength lies in them. I can now see Luna has been moving her stars, but I have no idea how long the effect of the Elements will keep either of you where you are," she adds between another bite of the sandwich, as though she were not talking about her impending doom.
Well, I'd really like to know. Perhaps I'll be angry. Perhaps there will be havoc everywhere. Can you imagine all the things I might want to do? The taste of your own cold, cruel medicine I could give you? Or the freedom I could offer?
"Discord?" Celestia asks weakly, she rests a hoof on the base of the statue not daring to move it any farther.
Oh, what is it? What could you possibly say now? I know you're here to boast. I know you're eating down there, and while there's nothing I can do to stop that all because of you and your precious baby sister, I do implore you not to leave any crumbs lying about. Pigeons are almost as bad as you.
"It's been foolish of me to wait so long to do this, but I'm a better mare than when you last saw me." There was a popping sound as Celestia hummed a faint, sad tune and poured herself a small glass of wine. She had taken care not to leave any debris around or on the statue. Each and every crumb — whether it be from her sandwich or the slice of cake she had brought with her — was carefully stored in a cloth napkin.
You, better than when we last met?! Impossible! Didn't you see what happened to Luna? You did that, and you have nopony else to blame for why it happened! You made her your shadow and petrified the only one who brought life to this static world! Even after I was gone, she ended up succumbing to whatever misery you put her — your own sister — through. At least I took over your silly kingdom. Everypony had forgotten how to laugh under your rule, while I was at least kind enough to let them have some fun.
Celestia broke the silence, keeping her form unnaturally still, and she spoke words that should have been said so long ago. "Discord, I'm sorry. It's dreadful knowing that you're in there, and have been for centuries, not being able to feel anything or see and hear as I have been."
I CAN HEAR YOU LOUD AND CLEAR, CELESTIA!
Discord could not see. He could not move, and he could barely feel, but he still could hear. Such was the blessing and the curse of his state. No sound escaped his ears. He knew every secret of each pony — and Alicorn — that passed through this place, where unsuspecting equines stood beneath his statue and believed it to be dead stone, a mere carving like all the others.
He could hear Celestia crying.
Celestia, who had once been the composed little filly who loved a good laugh and spent her time taking care of her little sister, who she adored above all else. Yes, this was the very same Celestia who tried to instruct every living creature she could find on how to be a proper princess and rarely showed how she felt, and now she was literally was crying her eyes out at his feet.
Celestia...?
"I lost you twice, and then I lost Luna, and I thought that was for good. I'm not even sure if she'll still be herself if she comes back, or how she'll even manage to leave the moon. I'm a better mare now, I won't forget her anymore, and I'll make sure nopony ever will again. No mortal soul upon all of Midgard will be able to ignore her when she comes back... if I can have her... if she'll..."
Celestia...?
"We used to be friends, Discord. Don't you remember? Has everything been lost? Please tell me you remember. Is there any of that Discord left? If you escape this wretched curse, what will you do? You know I won't let you hurt my little ponies."
I do have quite a few plans...
"Will you really try to overthrow me again? Discord, I know you aren't cruel at heart. Couldn't you see the agony all those poor ponies were in and how they suffered? You also said some of the most outrageous things to Luna and me, but none of them were really evil. You may be a bit of a bully, but I know you aren't evil."
Stepping out of line isn't any of this 'evil' silliness you're going on about, Celestia. Knotting the straight line of order and scrambling things a bit isn't the most gods-awful thing that can happen. As a divine yourself, surely you would know that? You always loved a good laugh, Celestia, but rarely did you ever do anything spontaneously. Slugs have more creativity than you; the slime trails they draw on this stone I've become is more creative and random than you'll ever be.
Celestia must have been standing to deliver her many speeches to him since Discord could hear her sit down, much less elegantly this time.
I'll be doing exactly what I did last time, Celestia. If I get out of here, you will have a front-row seat to whatever anarchy is on the menu.
Neither draconequus or Alicorn spoke for quite some time.
"You used to love me."
Five words expressing a sentiment Discord never believed Celestia would acknowledge. How artificial it made the silence between them seem.
"If... if you were to stop hurting ponies, or just to do something good to help these mortals... a token of some kind to say you appreciated our relationship... if you can do that, Discord, I will be able to see past whatever maliciousness may remain in you and return what you may still feel for me."
The moon still shone in the sky, surrounded by the dazzling stars that lit the cool spring night. Both the colorful earthly flowers found in Celestia's garden and the stars that populated Luna's cold prison in the sky were blind observers to what had transpired here.
If Discord could have snorted, he would have right now. He could do so much more than that! But change his ways? No, never. He would turn the world upside down and reign as the God-King of chaos, after all this time, he was ready to be oddly serious in his next scheme.
Serious enough to want a queen.
Author's Note
[Revised for print 8/30/2020. This is still one of my favorite one-shots to date.]
