Fresh from the Forest

Chapters

11 days
To 22
A month past
Time passes

11 days

Day 1; In the forest

So. I'm still in the forest after waking up. I had hoped that I was just doing the pain test wrong, but the chances of this being some kind of lucid dream is seeming less and less likely. Not that it was ever a likely chance, but denial has always been a very human response to the unexpected.

I normally don't keep a journal, but 'normally' doesn't seem to be the situation that I'm in either. My thoughts aren’t making sense in my head, and I feel like just a few steps away from a panic attack. Though usually my outlet is poetry, writing has always helped organize myself (the sanity retained is also a plus).

I woke up yesterday in a giant forest, and when I found myself in an unfamiliar, organic area I promptly decided I was dreaming. I grabbed my backpack and then continued with the hiking dream. Until I got hungry. I didn't expect hunger in a dream, so I tried to wake up with the pinch test, and then decided to take a short nap. Idiot.

I took a nap in an unfamiliar, open area, in a forest! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! Even at my grandparent's house you don't do that because there are a number of wild animals who could really hurt a guy like me. Wolves, giant cats, hogs, bears; any of them could have attacked and I wouldn't have been able to defend myself. Note to self, act with common sense at all times, regardless if what I think is happening is a dream or wonderland or whatever. Hopefully I can limit any needless stupidity on my part...

OK, so I'm lost in an area that I don't know. Priorities are water, food, shelter, and a route to civilization, and the only things I have are my clothes and whatever I might have in my backpack. OK, I'll be right back. It's time for a more thorough inventory than just grabbing a notebook and pen.
…

Hey again. I'm back, not that you could read how long it took from the page. I'm pleased to announce that I'm not as completely screwed as I thought I'd be. My backpack had pretty much what you'd expect, school supplies, but I guess I forgot to clean out the back pocket from the last time our family went camping. I found that 5 inch work knife I've been looking for the last month, some parachute cable, and best of all, my combination flint/magnesium block!

I wrote out the whole list on a different page, but between the fact that I can make a fire, and the fact that I had a lunch packed into the backpack, I just might have a chance at survival. I don't know how long I have till nightfall, so I think that I'll stop with the planning, and get to actually doing the things that might save my life. Hopefully it won't start raining.

Day 2; In a tree

It is currently night, and since I'm writing this, you can tell that I obviously made it through OK. I actually made it to a tree last night, and after climbing up fairly high, I tied myself to the branch with the parachute cable I found so I wouldn't fall off. I then slept undisturbed. Mostly, anyways. There was something making noise last night, and its out there tonight as well. I really hope I'm just being paranoid, but I climbed to a higher branch than last night just in case. I must have been really lucky to survive the nap yesterday.

In fact, I've been having enough luck that I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. For one thing, I found some blackberries, which is really weird, since it's closer to the winter side of spring, not summer. For another thing, I found a path, or at least, the remains of a path. Both of those should be good news, but for some reason, I find myself on edge. Maybe I'll be better after some sleep. Don't expect me to write for a while, as I think that my thoughts are mostly in order, and I've got a plan of action. Cautiously optimistic, good night.

Day 3; On a log

Shit and Fuck. My apologies for the language, as I generally don't curse, but the path I spent most of today following turned out to be a kind of dead end. The thing gradually got smaller and worse until it suddenly vanished into some undergrowth. That leaves me with almost no water, a single granola bar and no progress. I was totally right to suspect something from the universe.

Oh yeah, I just realized that I might be doing this journal thing more than I suspected yesterday. This forest is creeping me out; it's way too quiet when I'm not hearing something that sounds big and hungry. Where are the birds and other small animals? It makes me want to scream, but I figure that writing would probably be safer, at least until I get out of here.

To do list before I run out of daylight? Find a good branch to make into a spear/walking stick and look for something to make into a tent cover. I've been lucky with the last two nights, but if today's luck continues, I'm going to need it.

Day 5; Sunrise, sunset

It's time for the morning show. Yesterday wasn't happy, what with running out of food and water, but after a very small breakdown (Yeah, that's why there's three or four lines of scratched out paper above. I just wasn't able to write right until I had some time to recover), I was able to get back up and continue on. Even more depressingly, the path teeters out on the other side as well. I only have a line segment of a path here, but at least this side doesn't end in such thick undergrowth.

I'll keep going in the direction that the path was going when it ended, as there's still a chance that I could pick it back up. I don't think I'll be traveling when the sun is highest though. Despite the fact that the very thick canopy blocks out most of the rays, it does get noticeable hotter during noon to five, and I really don't want to lose more water than I need to. Ironic. I didn't want it to rain the last few nights, but now I really, really wouldn't mind if it did.

Day 6; To kill a mockingbird

I woke up to the most melodious thing I've ever heard this morning, a mockingbird. I promptly located it and then used my extra special dehydration desperation powers to catch and kill that thing. To further my good fortune, I then found another patch of blackberries. That was even more thrilling. Berries have juice, and juice has the water that I so desperately need after going a little under 2 days without it.

Plus there's the psychological component to all this. I now had a reason for a fire, I now had food, and I now had something wet to put into my body. All of that gives me new hope, and the fact that I heard something other than myself and a few bugs is a little reassuring. I hadn't even heard the spooky predators last night.

Just right now, and just to you, I think I might make it.

Day 7; Blue skies...and fields.

So, last night went exceedingly well. There was a downpour, and I drank to my hearts content, and then filled up my water bottle, and then drank some more. While walking today, I realized that non of that water could have been as clean as I'd like, as it had dripped down from the canopy, but it wasn't like I had that many options. Ah well, that's how life goes sometimes, and there's not much use complaining (...and yet, complaining remains remarkably appealing as an option).

Walking more or less in a straight line since I last wrote, I have failed to rediscover the path, but today has brought a curious setting before my eyes. Right now, I sit writing before a small clearing. It's the first time that I can clearly see the sky in my week of being lost, but more interesting than the sky is the tiny field before me.

The field is filled with vividly blue plants, and I was fixing to go into the patch when I noticed yet again how silent the forest has been. Only, this happy little patch of sunshine doesn't even have insects flying from flower to flower. I would have expected something to be there, and because of the lack of animals, I've once again been creeped out by the forest.

I'll probably be going around the clearing when I'm done with my break, if not for my gut feeling, then for the reasonable fact that things like some poisonous berries and frogs are also brightly colored.

Day 9; An eerie loudness?

It's night once again, and though I'm running low on food and water again, I must admit that I'm pleased that there's been food and water to run low on. The forest remains remarkably unsettling at night, but during the day, I've started hearing the sounds of wildlife. It's strange, because the forest itself seems to be getting more ominous.

Up to this point, the forest that I've been traveling through has been a kind of temperate forest, with lots of tall deciduous trees, some pine trees, and a LOT of undergrowth, but now, the forest is gradually becoming... swamplike? The canopy is starting to lessen, the area is beginning to have jutting rock walls, and the ground is changing...

I don't know. I'm not an expert on these sorts of things. At least with the increase of wildlife, there's a better chance at getting food, though I need to remember that it comes with the better chances of running into something I can't handle as well. I think I'll see if I can sleep with an eye open tonight.

Day 10; No words

OK, if you're a young delinquent who's somehow stolen my notebook and reading though this, close your eyes and read in Brail for the next four words. Ahem. "WHAT THE FUCK?" I screamed into my hat as I wrote, so I'm better now. And as I know you bunch of delinquents went ahead and read what I told you not to, I bet you're a little curious as to why I'm so frustrated, yes?

I saw a manticore. A real, living, breathing, thankfully-not-seeing-me manticore. No, I haven't gone crazy (well, not hallucinating crazy anyways), and no, I'm not mistaken in what I saw. I have a fondness for mythology, and so I KNOW what the lion creature with the wings and the scorpion tail was. If it weren't for the fact that I know a little lap dog would be a horrible companion to be dragging through this swampy woods, I would want one just to say that I'm not in Kansas anymore to.

I'm suddenly a lot less confident in my ability to make it to civilization alive for a number of reasons. Number one, I'm not sure if civilization still exists anymore. Where on earth could I be that has manticores? Number two, if there are manticores in this forest, could there be other monsters? What am I going to do if I get caught by one? I'd doubt my ability to escape or fight off a bear, much less a mythological creature famed for killing and eating...men...
...

STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! I screamed into my hat? Do I have a death-wish? I have no clue how sensitive that manicore's hearing is, and I go and scream soon after it leaves?

I suddenly have no confidence whatsoever in my survival. I'm going to (silently) cry myself to sleep, and then I guess you'll know if I get back to this journal if you see an entry after this. Horrible, terrifying night.

Day 11; Night 11?

Sometimes, I really hate the fact that I'm a fairly chivalrous guy. I can also find it in me to hate the fact that I'm about as photosensitive as a plant. I find it difficult to wake up until light hits me, and if there's light when I'm trying to sleep, I find it almost impossible to do so. There's a reason I own both a lamp and a night cap, and that I keep both next to my bed.

But anyways, I woke up to feminine screaming voices, and I immediately grabbed my stuff, slipped out of the tree, and took off. It never really came up in my mind that I might not have been able to actually help whoever was screaming, nor that rushing blindly off towards the screams could very well place myself in peril. I fully blame that on the low ambient light levels.

Fortunately, my services were NOT required when I actually reached the area that it had originated. In fact, by the time I had gotten close, the voices were singing a rather catchy tune (and playing music? Maybe I was just hearing things). I distinctly remember thinking something along the lines of 'At least I found civilization', when I broke through the final bit of undergrowth.

To tell the whole truth though, I did more than just break through the low level plants. I also tripped on a root, and spectacularly landed face first into the ground. Oh yes, I also set off a whole new round of screaming, can't forget that.

I tended to my bleeding nose and bitten tongue while I waited for the girls to stop screaming. I didn't look up, as it was fairly dark, and I was fairly certain that I had broken my nose for the first time in my life.

I looked up in surprise when I heard the one of the screamers actually use her vocal cords for a different purpose than screaming: communication. And then I froze in shock as I realized that the screaming people were actually screaming...equestrians? My first thought would have been technicolor-ed ponies, but I noticed that mythical creatures had once again started sprouting up around me. Two were indeed ponies, but two were pegasus, and two were unicorns! That's when I found that total shock is perhaps as great an anesthetic as morphine and adrenaline.

“What is it? Fluttershy, do you know?” The purple one had asked.

Mythical creatures spoke English? I would have thought that if such things could speak, they would talk in Latin, or Greek. What an amazing discovery! I decided to answer, even though the question hadn't been directed at me.

“I'm human.” I said, and then, swallowing my manly pride, I decided to ask for directions. “Um, would any of you know the way out of this forest? I've been in the forest for over a week, and I'm quite lost.”

All of the creatures stared at me, and as the awkward pause drew on, I slowly regained painful feeling in my nose. It was time to break the silence.

“So? Would that silence be a yes or a no?” I asked, gingerly feeling out my nose and carefully wiping the blood away.

The yellow pegasus started, and then began stammering an answer.

“O-oh, w-we would be happy to help you Mr. Human, o-only...” And the pegasus's voice dropped to such a soft volume that I wasn't able to hear it.

“Only what?” I asked as gently as I could.

“Only we don't have the time!” The blue pegasus said, “We've got important business to take care of.”

“At night?” I asked “I found out that its kind of dangerous to travel at night, and I'm bigger than any of you”

Or taller anyways. Though I guess if you have two creatures with the ability to fly and two with the ability to use magic, they wouldn't have as difficult a time as I would.

I noticed that they had all...tensed when I said night though. I looked down at my watch, and started when it said 10 a.m. Where was the sun?

Before any of the equestrians had time to answer my previous question, I asked another.

“Um, do any of you know what happened to the sun? I just checked the time and...”

The purple unicorn sighed.

“We need to get going. You can come with us, we'll fill you in on the way. Come on girls.”

The unicorn paused, looking at my bloody face, and then horn lit up, and my face didn't hurt any more. I thanked her, and she waved it off as no big deal, and then we went on our way. The blue pegasus quickly informed me that she 'had her eye on me.' Ah, the pleasures of being with people again.

From there we met a dragon (I had to restrain my reactions. I love dragons), who was helped through a low self-esteem issue by the white and purple unicorn Rarity. I obtained the dragon's autograph, and he let me keep the scale that Rarity had used for his make-over, and then we continued on.

There was a bridge out, and I must say that everyone who had to cross that thing has nerves of steel. My own metal like nerves also felt a curious urge to harm whoever had designed the flimsy thing. A bridge should not sway like that!

After the bridge, we found ourselves at a large set of ruins, and... Oh, I forgot to put down what the six ponies were even doing in the forest. Apparently some uber-powerful unicorn-pegasus hybrid is responsible for raising the sun wherever I'm at (I started somewhat skeptical, but the fact that I was in a forest with mythical creatures is a pretty strong hint that suspension of disbelief would be a wonderful idea right now), and her evil sister who had just escaped from prison had plans to make an eternal night. The six that I was traveling with were looking for some ancient artifacts that could save the day. A fairly standard fantasy quest I guess, but if I'm dealing with mythological creatures, then I guess that's to be expected.

Anyways, at the ruins, we found five stone bowling balls, which meant that we were missing one. Twilight (the purple unicorn, not the book series) had a plan to find the sixth, when the uber-powerful evil sister struck. Sister, Twilight, and bowling balls all vanished in a blue glittery cyclone. Thankfully, the giant strobing light show in a relatively nearby tower gave a good indication of where they went.

We went after Twilight and caught her giving a heroic monologue (A Monologue! I thought those were for the tasteless villains to give?). While she called up her friends to give a glowing magical beat down, I remained behind the glowingness, as I wasn't certain that I wanted to become collateral damage. I did ready my knife and dead brick phone though. If evil sister overcame the equestrian group, I would fling both at evil sister.

It wasn't necessary. Twilight and the others of the group started floating all possessed-like and then sent a rainbow tidal wave to evil sister, who promptly became an exhausted, guilty feeling Princess Luna. It wasn't really all that unique though, as all of the equestrian people seemed rather unconscious after the display. I waited for them to come to, watched the sun rise, and then got to see a rainbow haired uber-powerful hybrid being enter the area.

There was a loving, tearful reunion, and then I had to go and break the moment. It wasn't like I meant to though. I hadn't eaten in two days! My stomach growling, though inappropriate (and possibly humorous) was totally beyond my control as an involuntary action. It would have——

I'll finish this later, in a different journal entry maybe. The guard outside the door just said that Princess Rainbow Hair is ready to talk to me now. Wish me luck!

To 22

Day 11; Continued

I'm back in my room, it's late, and though I'd really rather go to sleep in a bed for the first time in what feels like ages, I'm going to finish up the last entry:

When I interrupted, mortification was immediate of course, but more concerning than embarrassment was the wave of exhaustion that arrived with the noise my stomach had made. I sat myself down before my legs gave out, and then started waving off the concerns of the other eight beings in the room.

That's when Fluttershy leveled this look at me, and asked a question with more force than I had ever heard in her voice previously.

“When did you last eat?”

I shrugged and replied with 'a while ago.'

Applejack (the orange one with the most literal interpretation of 'ponytails' I had ever seen in my life) snorted through my feeble claim, and then Fluttershy repeated her opening word. “WHEN?”

It was like being chewed out by a parent or teacher. You know, the kind of lecture where they proceed to make you feel a few inches tall or as if you had tried to intentionally hurt infants? I had one teacher who was particularly good at it, and he could give me a guilt trip even when I had no guilt to trip over. Fluttershy had just set the ability to new standards.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, and mumbled 'a couple days.' And the look then stopped focusing on me, and shifted to the rest of the people in the room. Even the uber-powerful princesses weren't immune, and it was very, very quickly that we had gone from the ruins to the nearby town of 'Ponyville.'

The Princesses had a kind of impromptu parade, and a nice PR moment. Which ended when Celestia mentioned me to the town. Apparently, because I had been with the 'wielders of the elements of harmony' when they did their thing, I was deserving of the Princesses', and the kingdom's thanks. I looked at the crowd, sneezed, and that's when I discovered the rather peculiar talent of a large group of ponies: Panic.

In fact, I'd have to say that the town did it so well that it seemed almost orderly. A few seconds of dust being thrown up, obscuring the view while the entire group pulled off an impressive vanishing act. I guess I should have been a bit insulted, but the speed with which the ponies had gone from everywhere to nowhere with everything in the town locked up left me spectacularly awed. I'd say that it was probably less than fifteen seconds, and ALL of the town was out of the streets, with any carts, children, or chickens safely packed away.

I apologized to Celestia and Luna for spooking the town, and then they asked that I come with them back to their palace/castle/place of habitation/domicile for a discussion on what the long term plans for dealing with my presence would be. I agreed, as refusing would have been another one of those easily avoided stupid mistakes, and then waited in a well-furnished...lounge, maybe? I don't actually know what the room was, but it was a comfortable place to stay until I was summoned.

When I met with them privately, Celestia informed me that for the short term, I'd be housed in the castle until the Princess and her sister finished their plans for me. She told me that I would be under the protection of 'Cobalt Thunder's squad' during my stay, and that I'd only need to ask the pony outside of my room for any reasonable requests and they would do their best to provide. It was a very nice and tactful way for the princess to keep her eye on me, so I graciously accepted, and then came here.

And as you can tell from all the scratch outs in that last paragraph, I'm rapidly loosing my ability to write legibly, so I'll stop here for the night. I'm exhausted, and that bed is really calling my name.

Day 12: The morning after

This morning I woke up with four guard ponies staring intently at me. They were only a few feet from my face, and when my mind caught up to my eyes, I jumped back. My startled reaction knocked my head hard against the wall, and as I rubbed the sore spot, I returned the attack with my best 'not impressed' stare. Apparently, my stare was nowhere near as effective as I had hoped, as they broke their composure with amused faces. One had even started laughing at me.

Thankfully, one of his buddies shut him up with a rather forceful nudge, while another cleared his throat.

“Sir? We've been assigned as your security detail, and as such, I was hoping you wouldn't mind taking the time to discuss arrangements while you ate.” He turned to the pony who had laughed, gave a glare, and then continued. “We are, of course, sorry for the intrusion on your privacy, as it was an inexcusable lapse on our parts.”

I shrugged. “I don't mind if we talk while we eat. Where to?”

Talker had smiled, and then led me to the kitchens, where we picked up breakfast for the five of us. I was then led to a small dining area so that we could talk and eat. We had introductions, and I, for some reason I no longer remember, wrote out a note with their names and descriptions. I don't quite know what to do with it anymore, so I guess I'll put it here, recorded for all time and then move on.

Talker's name is Cobalt Thunder, the dark bluish grey pegasus (slightly off white mane) in command of the security detail. The black on black pony who laughed is named Tourmaline Schorl (Tours is preferred name). The dark green pegasus's name is Airlift (blue and teal mane; no second name). The light tan unicorn with the light blue mane is named Oval (also without second name).

After the introductions, Cobalt informed me that so long as I stayed out of trouble, I would be allowed free reign of a majority of the more private parts of the castle, like the kitchens, the library, the gardens, and a few other places. I just had to make sure I had one of the four guards as an escort.

Cobalt then began to spout off the usual kinds of 'you're so lucky our rulers are such wonderful people' propaganda, so I tuned him out and focused on stuffing myself with more oatmeal. I don't think I missed anything important, but if I did, Cobalt seems devoted enough to Princess Celestia that he'll probably go out of his way to stop me from causing a diplomatic incident while I'm her guest.

I'm currently on the balcony that's attached to the room that I'm staying in, and I can see the garden that Cobalt mentioned. They're nice looking from a distance, and I bet they're even more beautiful up close. I think I'll put this away for now and see if I can still enjoy a walk in the woods.

Day 16; Against a tree

I've found that I've been playing board games a lot, mostly with my guards. It's not like any of us know exactly what Celestia will decide, so there's a lot of waiting for all of us. Normally, this kind of long-term boredom can be eliminated by a number of means, none of which are available to me right now.

Internet? It doesn't exist here. Reading? Turns out that, though the spoken language is the same, the written one is different. I'm very slow to pick up languages, so it'll be a while before I'm fluent enough to start reading as a form of entertainment again. Wandering about? Though I may technically have the ability to go almost anywhere in the castle, it's been subtly discouraged by my guards, probably to avoid running into panic prone ponies that don't know about me.

So, in between sorting through equestrian language primers, I've been playing plenty of a kind pseudo-chess with Oval. Essentially, it's the same game, with the pieces playing the same, but the pieces are shaped and named a bit differently. Oval started out very confident, but as I'm going about five or six wins for every one of his, I wonder how long it'll be before he does something drastic.

“And, Checkmate.”

There we go, another win for me, and...

Ah hah, knew we'd have to listen to some sort of outburst. Apparently, Oval's 'special talent' (apparently its different from a regular talent?) is chess, so the fact that I'm walking over him and his skills is irritating. I'd be a little more sympa—

Day 16; Game night

Sorry for the abrupt cut off, but though Oval was OK with me writing in-between moves in our game, I don't think Princess Luna would react in quite the same manner.

The princess had heard Oval's rant from another part of the gardens, and she came to see just what was going on. We then played a few games, and I have to say that she is a much better opponent, no offense to Oval. I figure that a couple hundred years of experience at a game trumps a 'special talent.'

Luna enjoyed herself, and asked if I would mind having a game night with her. Right now, the only royal duty that she has is raising the moon, and that leaves plenty of free time during the middle of the night that she can't easily fill.

She's in more or less the same situation as me, as she's trying to avoid spooking her subjects. She stays out of sight, and that leaves pretty much just her sister and the guards to talk to. I think a game night could be fun, though I warned her to keep it in a well lit area to avoid me falling asleep on her.

Also, I'm no psychologist, but I think that the game night will be good for her as well. Luna had plenty of guilt in her body language (enough to cross the gap in species), and she was using really formal language. Interacting with people can only be a good thing, so why do I suddenly feel uneasy about accepting? Why do I get the feeling that Luna's a few steps away from an emotional breakdown, and that I'm going to be there when it happens?

Day 17 Emotional interruption

I'm really starting to hate when I'm right. Luna, myself, and our guards (I made the suggestion to include them, as games are more fun with more people, and she agreed) had plenty of fun with the game night, until I made a comment on how beautiful the night sky looked. Not an unusual thing for me, as I've always enjoyed going out and watching the stars with my parents on really clear nights. It's one of the reasons I don't like living in the city.

I was aware that here, Luna was in charge of the night sky, so the amazing display was more or less because of her. I thought it'd be like a subtle thank you. However, I didn't know at the time just WHY Luna had been all evil sister when we were in the ruins.

Apparently, being a uber-powerful unicorn-pegasus hybrid is like being a Jedi: powerful, serene, and if you start harboring negative emotions, you become all evil/psycho. Luna's fall had been started because no one had appreciated the amount of work she had put into making the nights so beautiful, and she had gotten jealous of the fawning adoration that had been given to her sister.

It wasn't like she wanted to be tripping over mindless admirers, but planning the night is apparently much more mentally taxing than moving the sun. Which makes sense, one has lots of little variables to take care of, while the other is more of a brute force motion: Very taxing, but not in the same way. Luna had wanted recognition for her hard work.

And I, with my comment, had ripped open the guilt she had felt for falling to the dark side over a little jealousy. Then, as the rest of us awkwardly tried to soothe the crying princess, her guilt over the past moved to apprehension over the future.

“I have a thousand years to catch up on!” Luna had cried, “How am I going to help sister rule Equestria if I don't know Equestria anymore?”

All in all, it was much like I had expected when I wrote my last entry. Guilt and fear of the future. I may not be an expert on the mind of a horse, but I figure that the same sort of comforting reassurances would help.

I reminded Luna that her sister had accepted her in the Ruins, and that the ponies in ponyville had accepted her. I told her that though some things can change, other things remain the same, and that wisdom can be true regardless of when it originates. It was a few hours, but eventually Luna cried herself to sleep.

Problem. Luna was clearly not in a state to be doing anything right now, and with the magical nature of the world I'm in, the moon probably wouldn't go down by itself. I rubbed my forehead, and then gestured to Luna's bat-winged guards.

“You guys go take her to bed. She obviously needs some time to recover.” I said, and then turned to Cobalt. “Cobalt, I'm assuming that you know where to find Celestia at this hour? Could you go tell her what's happened, and that she'll probably need to lower the moon tonight? I'm guessing as Luna's not been here for the last thousand years, that Celestia is capable of doing so.”

Cobalt left, and then the other three guards and I left to follow Luna's guards. Even if Luna wakes up calmer, she's still going to need someone to talk to.

Day 18; More crying

So, writing this while I eat some lunch. Celestia handled the moon and the sun, but also came to Luna's sleeping chamber for her sister. She let me stay, canceled any previous plans she had, and then Celestia and I started putting Luna back together. I don't think much will be done today.

Day 19; On the road

Being the shoulder to cry on is both easier and harder than people would expect. You do a lot of listening, a lot of agreeing, and lots of hugs, pats on the back, et cetera. You have to be on their side while they lash out at the unfairness of the world, and you have to mean it. You need to empathize with the person hurting.

But at the same time, you need to be objective, apart from what's happening. The person needs to understand that though the universe can be unfair at times, it isn't out to get them. You have to carefully take the pauses that the person gives you, and get through to them.

It's a hard balance to make, and not everyone can do it. However, I've been in that role more times than I ever wanted to be, so I've got some idea of what to do. Princess Celestia, on the other hand...

I think that I'm starting to really comprehend just what it means that Celestia and Luna are Immortal. It means they've had more time than anyone else to work on improving themselves. Its not like they have no flaws, but that they've had centuries to fix, bit by bit, the parts of themselves that they wanted to.

Celestia knows her sister, and knows how to help people. I felt like an intruder as Celestia comforted her little sister. No, I felt like a child trying their hardest to mimic a masterpiece with a set of crayons. It wasn't that I wasn't helping, but that Celestia's ability to do so was so much greater than mine.

I think that Luna's going to be OK now. Sure she'll probably have more breakdowns in the future, but she's definitely on the road to recovery.

Day 22; Black tie affair

I'm very grateful to the princess for giving me playmates... I mean Guards, of course. They've made the time I've spent at the castle so much more enjoyable than it could have been. All the same though, I am also very glad that Celestia has finally worked out what she's going to do with me. Tonight, after dinner, Celestia will actually tell me her decision is.

I suppose that I should look my best then. I think that a declaration counts as Royal Business, so I'll need to clean up and get one of those outfits out of the closet before going off to the dining room.

The outfits are actually one of the more intriguing things about my room. They're all dreadfully formal, so I only wear them long enough to get my clothes washed and dried, but every one of those things is tailored to me. Just when did some pony get the time and measurements to make the things? They were here from when I walked into the room, so whoever made them had less than half a day to do so.

They're all rather nice, other than the fact that they make me look like I'm getting ready to meet the Queen of England... Oh… I just now put one and one together. No wonder they're all so formal. I guess that with my situation, I kind of forgot that the princesses are kind of, you know, the Rulers of an entire Country. Of course normal people would think that formal attire is needed.

So. A quick shower, and then I grab the nicest looking suit that's still comfortable. I really, really hope that I end up liking the judgment that Celestia gives me. Wish me luck!

A month past

Day 22; Evening

I'm in complete shock. Or rather, I've been in complete shock up to this point and it's only now starting to wear off enough for me to be able to start writing. Princess Rainbow Head want's me to be a proxy for her and Luna! Apparently, between the incident with Luna and whatever the guards have been telling her about me, I've come across as decent at 'keeping a calm head, developing a plan of action, and resolving problems'.

I was paralyzed at the news, but I think the Princesses interpreted it as acceptance, cause they thanked me and let me come back to my room. I think I need a way to say politely say no to the princesses, otherwise, I might be doomed.

I'm doomed anyways, of course. I've never wanted to be a politician, and now, because I didn't say no at the appropriate time, I've become a bizarre combination diplomat/representative, inspector/problem solver for the princesses. Somebody please help Celestia see common sense and replace me before I cause a war.

It isn't that I'm not honored by her faith in me, or that I'm not happy to do anything I can to help repay the generosity shown to me. It's just that I don't think I can do whatever she thinks I can. I have no magic, no knowledge of local history, and I'm an omnivore, which according to Tours, means that every time I show my teeth, I send little subliminal danger messages to every pony who sees me. I'm going to have to remember to smile a different way!

Why do they think I'm qualified? Seriously, I think that those six I tagged along with would be a much better choice.

I... I... I'm going to bed before I have a meltdown. Hopefully I can think of a way to change the princess's mind in the morning.

Day 23; It begins

Well, that didn't work out. Celestia waved off my concerns when I brought them up over breakfast, though she at least can see that I'm going to need a lot of help before I'll be able to start helping her. To help me learn the ropes of what she wants me to be doing, and to reacquaint her sister with the sorts of duties the princesses have, I'll be accompanied by Luna for the first series of missions.

Celestia is also reassigning Cobalt's squad as a permanent security detail for me, which is nice of her. I've gotten used to them, and having to readjust to new guards would be a pain. It should also reassure whoever I meet with that I'm not just some crazy monster come to terrorize them while they're having a crisis.

Oh, yeah. This bit of news was kind of overshadowed last night by the terrifying thoughts of responsibility, but I also found out that there's very little chance of me going home. Celestia had some students from her university look up theories as a kind of extra-credit project, but this is how she explained it to me:

I don't know how I got here, as I was sleeping when it happened. I also don't have any 'lingering magical aura' to help the princess determine how I got here. A multiple-universe theory has been proposed and proven at some point, so it's very likely that I'm from a different dimension, but there aren't any spells that have been developed to send a living being safely to another universe.

If I was willing to wait a couple hundred years of dedicated research, Celestia or a group of unicorns might be able to help me, but there would still be one remaining problem. A theory of multiple alternate dimensions leaves a number of possible destinations, and there's no way to tell where I came from. It would be nice for me to be able to go home, but there's realistically no chance of successfully doing so.

It sucks, but I can live with that. I've got a lot to be thankful for, like being on good terms with the ruling body of a nation. In fact, I could almost stand with being on a little worse terms with the princesses. I might not have been appointed a royal proxy if they trusted me a little less.

Day 25; Reading once again

I've finally gotten the equestrian alphabet down, which would mean that it's the fastest I've ever learned a language. Mostly learned. I'm still slow at reading, and I still have to carry a cheat sheet with all the letters and their English equivalents.

I actually had overestimated the difficulty in learning how to read the language, as both the grammar rules, and alphabet are the same. It was more like learning to fluently read in a graphical code than learning a language. Your brain doesn't immediately recognize the new shapes as letters, so its difficult to read while you're connecting the old and the new.

This entry is going to be short, and I probably won't be writing again for a while, as I have a lot of reading to do.

Day 39; Let's do this

It's been a month that I've stayed at the castle, and today is the first day that Luna and I will be going someplace for Princess Celestia. Up until now, the most I've done has been making a few public appearances with the princesses, to get the news of my existence out into the public. I still remember how Ponyville panicked, and though it was definitely amusing, I'd rather that not happen again.

We're going to a port town named SeaSaddle for two purposes. The first is so that we can be the guests of honor for the town's semi-regular celebration. It has something to do with a magical sea breeze that, in addition to dying everything a deep blue-green, causes the town's plants to grow months in a matter of seconds. So long as the town prepares adequately, they can grow enough crops in that single day to last for years. The problem then ends up being able to harvest it all

It only happens once every couple of years, but the town's pegasi have learned how to track the wind weeks before it arrives, giving the town a bit of time to prepare. Every time it happens, the town sends an invitation to Princess Celestia, but it's been decades since the breeze has occurred on a day that she hasn't had something previously scheduled.

On a more sinister note, this year's preparation's for the breeze have been in a dissarray. There's been something breaking fences, uprooting whatever has been planted, and there have been ponies who have gone missing in the areas that have damage. No one has seen the culprit, and it's been causing no small amount of fear for the town. Luna, the guards, and I will be looking into the problem, hopefully solving it before the breeze arrives.

Personally, another reason I think Princess Celestia hasn't made it out to SeaSaddle is how far away it is geographically. We're sitting in the train station while the train gets ready to leave, and I checked the schedule. We'll be arriving in a little under three days if we're on time, and while I bet pegasi could get there faster by flying, I don't really think the average pegasus would be willing to fly over twenty hundred miles for just one event.

There's the train, time to end my disorganized thoughts and put this away.

Day 42; SeaSaddle

So, we arrived a little ahead of schedule, and the train ride itself was very comfortable. I guess it's one of the perks of riding with royalty; you end up sharing somewhat in the awed service that people provide.

We also had a plan of action for determining how to catch the trouble-maker. No, I'm not going to write it down here, as its kind of stupid to write down sensitive information where anyone could read it... Not that anyone would read this, right? I guess it wouldn't hurt to write down a few of the more obvious details though. The plan involves a few eyes in the sky, magic from our very own Princess Luna, and bait. Guess who's the bait.

Admittedly, I think we're going to have to do a bit of politicking before we get to any tracking, the mayor wants——

Oh my. I'm going to need to talk to Luna about speaking to the public. She knocked a few ponies down with the power of her voice alone, and she's going to scare people if she keeps it up. I just gave her a line about how 'projection is good, but moderation is key,' but before tonight, I really, really need to explain how us non-uber-powerful creatures have eardrums that can break.

Though idle thoughts do come to mind. Suppose we just issued earplugs to anyone we know isn't a culprit, and then had Luna just shout until the perpetrator brings himself forward just to make her stop? It would be a funny way to solve a crime.

Day 44; Safe and sound

You know, I thought that I was fairly well versed on mythological creatures, but when we solved the crime, I was surprised by what was causing it: An Encatado named Balas. The Encatado is a shapeshifting dolphin creature, that's very, very good with music.

When we caught it, Balas surrendered quickly, declared that it hadn't meant any harm, but when the ponies had caught it breaking stuff, it had panicked. Balas had knocked out the ponies, and then gotten scared about the ponies telling others who had done it, so Balas had taken them to his temporary home in the sea.

The kidnapped ponies are alright now, and though I doubt that they're too happy about the situation, they've forgiven Balas in words if not in spirit. After some more conversation with the shapeshifter, we found out that Balas was actually here to learn about and visit the pony's breeze celebration.

Balas is currently rooming with us, officially to keep it out of trouble, unofficially because it finds me to be facinating. Balas doesn't really like shifting into things with lots of fur, which I have significantly less of, and it also likes the concept of hands, something that it hadn't seen before. Overall, Balas seems alright as a person, and it will be helping the musicians during the celebration tomorrow as part of its apology to the town.

It. I keep wanting to call Balas a he, just to make writing easier, but even though Balas currently has a male pony form, Balas won't let you forget that 'he' is actually an it. Balas almost seems proud of that fact.

Day 46; The sea breeze

The celebration was interesting. I've never seen wind that has a color, never mind a wind that causes plants to grow and other things to become blue-green. Like me. Not sure how to react to the fact that I am now a blue-green skinned and haired person, but at least it should wear off in a few months. Besides, everyone else in town is in the same situation, Princess Luna included, and it isn't like technicolored ponies aren't the norm in equestria.

Note to self, have a camera ready for when we get back to Canterlot. I'm sure there will be some pony with an amusing expression on their face when they see the princess. The dying effect of the wind is probably another reason why Celestia doesn't do this all that often.

The food was amazing, and with Balas, the music was divine as well. All in all, it was a really fun party, even though ponies were constantly vying for my attention. Its surprisingly easy to forget that as a 'Royal Proxy,' I'm something of a celebrity now.

Ah, speaking of Balas, I (and the rest of the town) found out exactly why it's so fond of the fact that it doesn't have a gender. After the music was mostly wrapped up, Balas had a few alcoholic beverages. Balas then proceeded to flirt with everyone, flipping genders as needed to continue its seduction. I didn't stick around long enough for it to work its way to me, but I found out this morning that Balas had been quite a bit more successful in its flirtations than I had expected.

We're again waiting at the train station while the train is being prepared, and either Airlift or Cobalt is bugging me to put this down and say goodbyes instead (I can't really tell between them at the moment, as they're both the same shade and I'm still not that good with recognizing pony voices yet). Just a moment.

…

Most of the goodbyes were pleasant, and the mayor hopes we will come again, perhaps after they're done harvesting all the produce they now have. However, Balas's goodbye left me a little ambiguous about the parting.

On one hand, while Balas is really good with music, generally gets along with people, and I genuinely want to keep in touch (it gave me a post box number that it's checked out from the SeaSaddle post office), there are some things...

OK, let's be right to the point. Balas cheerfully told me before we finished our farewells that it was disappointed that I had missed out on 'a good time last night.' Balas then proceeded to tell me that it would love 'experiencing a carnal relationship' with me, and that it would be available at any time I desired. I would really, really, really like some mind bleach at this time. I'm going to go talk with Oval and see if he can erase my mind.

Day 49; And back again

I protested, I really did! I've been on a grand total of one assignment, and now I'm getting right back on the train to go to Manehatten, this time without Luna's supervision. True, this time I don't have to do much beyond sit there and look pretty, but why would Celestia triple book tomorrow anyways?

I know it isn't very mature of me, but I really don't want to mess this up. Plus I'm blue-green. It is funny seeing the reactions, but this party I'm going to is one of those stuffy, fancy things with hundreds of spoons and forks on the table. Luckily Tours used to do those sorts of things with his family before joining the Royal Guard, and he's going to be coaching me the entire time.

Hah, I reread the bottom of the previous entry, and it reminded me of Oval's reaction to my request. Apparently, he does know such a spell, but it's a closely regulated one that should only be used carefully at the request of a trained psychologist. He was horrified that I wanted it to cause amnesia. Tours took a picture of his face, and I'm putting it below.

Day 51; Party fail

It's the morning after the party, and despite my fatigue from last night, I don't feel like sleeping on the train today. So instead, I think I'll write down my thoughts on the party before I organize an actual report for Celestia.

Despite the fact that the entire party seemed to be a disaster from the beginning, I actually managed to pull it off most of it without embarrassing myself (and by extension the Princess I'm representing) until dinner.

The party had started out well enough, with another guest complementing me on having such a “healthy looking shade of green.” I nearly burst out laughing, but managed to contain it to a polite cough before admitting having gotten it when I went to the coast with Princess Luna. The pony who had spoken nodded sagely, and started talking about how the sea air indeed achieves marvels with one's coloring.

However, when dinner came around (which turned out to have no utensils at all), the troubling matter of my height came into focus. There were no chairs at the dining table, and the rest of the party guests were standing. On the one hand, furniture that was functional for me is rather hard to come by here, but on the other, if I were to just sit down, I'd mess up my suit, which Tours had informed me was NOT acceptable. Solution. A few quiet words to a passing butler, and I had a cushion to kneel on while we ate.

The food had its own set of problems, like the fact that it was all with hay and grasses. Beautifully arranged hay and grass, and if I were to judge by the ecstasy that the others were enjoying their meals, it was probably of the very best quality (and perhaps even seasoned with something that my nose couldn't detect). I just couldn't eat it.

So I continued with polite conversation, until the hostess noticed I wasn't eating:

“Really dear, we're almost ready to move to dessert, and you haven't even had a bite.”

Uh oh, how was I supposed to tell her that I literally couldn't eat what's on my plate, without insulting her, and without alerting the rest of the guests to the fact that the 'guest of honor' has been served something he couldn't eat? Quickly, I decided on:

“It's fine, Ma'am, I've had some trouble eating lately, and I'm not sure if I'm up to such an exquisite meal.”

The hostess narrowed her eyes, and then said,

“But Dear, though elegant, the dish is really quite simple fare, and should calm anyone's stomach.”

I somehow got the hint that there was something more than just concern for my health going on, and the hostess and I traded increasingly polite (read: hostile) words until I realized that all other table conversation had stopped. At that point, I stopped arguing, and forced down two bites. It satisfied her, and I sat queasily until dessert came.

The hostess cleared her throat.

“Everyone? I'd like to thank you all for coming, and most of all, I'd like to thank our guest of honor, the human who has graciously been sent by Princess Celestia Herself. I've taken the time this afternoon to make a special desert just for him.”

And then she smiled at me. While placing a beautifully prepared dish in front of me. I don't know what it was, but I had time to get one good whiff of it before I failed to control a gag. And then I threw up.

It turned out that a doctor was at the table, and she must have taken her oaths quite seriously, because when I threw up, she dropped all decorum and rushed to my side asking if I was OK. I smiled weakly, forgetting to keep my teeth hidden, and the doctor froze.

I had time to think 'shit' before she rounded on the hostess.

“He's a predator! Or at least a carnivorous leaning omnivore! And you made him eat grasses? You are clearly an idiot, my dear.” Turning to Tours, she continued “Take him out, I'll be along shortly to make sure he's OK.”

As we beat a hasty retreat, there were two increasingly loud and angry female voices. I assumed at that point the doctor wouldn't be catching up, so Tours and I left for the hotel. It was quite a night.

Day 51; Front page

So, I can see that I'm already in the newspaper, now that I've bothered to look. The articles have painted me in a sympathetic light too, shifting all of the blame to the hostess of the party. Even the doctor's in there, with a scathing review of the hostess's 'outrageous' lack of proper meal planning.

This is the first time I've ever been news, and I already never want to be in the tabloids again. I'm also a bit apprehensive as to how Celestia is going to react. I think I'd better start on a proper report while there's still time.

Time passes

Day 52; Reporting in

Well, Celestia took the news of the dinner both better and worse than I had expected. She didn't chew me out, and I think that she genuinely doesn't blame me for the fiasco. However, I still managed to get the impression that she was a bit disappointed that it had happened in the first place. Failing somebody's trust, even when you expect it to happen, can be a bit of a dampener on your mood.

However, despite the fact that I've now got a week to rest, recover, and hone my diplomatic skills (I will find a suave way to decline grass), I'm a little wary about the fact that Celestia told me to enjoy the rest of my day. I've gradually learned that she has a mischievous streak that only really comes out in informal situations, and that smile seemed a bit too angelic.

I guess I'll go to the library then. If I'm going to be waiting for potentially unpleasant news, I might as well spend the time in a way that I enjoy.

Day 53; Odium, total

Hatred. Loathing. Anguished screaming... But that's mostly my body talking. I've been put through a personalized version of hell, and I truly don't know where I'm getting the energy to put pen to paper. Perhaps through Spite... Let's go with that while I detail what I've gone through.

Today at breakfast, Cobalt and his squad informed me that I'd be accompanying them to their barracks for the day. I naively believed that they wanted to show me their rooms or something. No. They were giving me a tour of a much more sinister place: The training grounds.

Cobalt is strongly of the opinion that my safety depends just as much on my own ability as it does on theirs. The problem he had seen was that my abilities were 'woefully below anything approaching acceptable.' His opinion was actually kind of hurtful. I may not be in the best of shape, as I don't enjoy working out, but I made sure to do enough physical activities that I stay reasonably fit.

I think the difference in our opinions resulted somewhere in magic. I know, I know, magic can't be blamed for all my problems, but in this, it really does result from the fact that ponies have magic. The connection that all these equine beings have with nature gives them an incredible strength and endurance (even the unicorns I've met, despite not having any noticeable benefits to their strength, seem to have near infinite amounts of energy). I, with my purely physical body, barely meet below standard when compared to that.

Cobalt obviously noted this at SeaSaddle, and it's now that he's working to correct it. The squad ran me into the ground, literally. Oval provided motivation, sending small shocks when I fell behind my running buddy, Tours. When I eventually collapsed, they got me doing any number of upper body exercises. Where had they gotten any idea of what would be good for me?

I must have gasped that aloud, as Cobalt smiled and cheerfully informed me.

“Well, Equestria is blessed with a number of different animals, most of which have at least a few similar muscles between them. I went to both a vet and a doctor for advice to put together a training regimen, and if we get a few things wrong, there's at least one trained medic at the training facility at all times. Ah, and Celestia personally approved our initiative to get you into shape, so don't even think about trying to quit on us.”

And so we continued until they had squeezed the last dregs of sadistic pleasure from my torture. Airlift was kind enough to carry me to my room when the group realized that I was completely content to stay collapsed on the ground after we were done. I guess that makes him my favorite among the squad.

Day 54; In hiding

Cobalt told me I have the day off, and though I intellectually believe him, my body doth protest too much. I've sequestered myself into the smallest corner of the library I could find, so that if Oval over there decides to pull off a repeat performance of yesterday, I can resist. Until he starts using magic of course, but a guy's occasionally allowed to ignore unpleasant realities, right?

Day 59; In the air

Yes! It's an other day on the 'every other day' schedule for exercise, but instead of having to work out, we've got another assignment. Princess Luna is with us for this as well, so I doubt that anything will happen that we won't be able to take care of. I'm feeling good enough that I'm going to drastically tempt fate by saying 'at least things can't get any worse, right?' when things are actually going well. Take that, Murphy.

OK, now that I'm done being giddily optimistic, here's what I know so far. A pegasus inhabited city named Las Pegasus (Original, no?) is having a dispute over the weather schedule. Some of the inhabitants want to keep tradition and continue with the same kind of weather they've made for years, while a majority of the younger workers believe that changing things up could be beneficial. The managers of the factory where the weather is made have requested royal wisdom on the situation. Since we're going, I guess Celestia approved the request.

And I still find it weird to be able to write a paragraph like that and still be completely serious. Here in Equestria, the weather is scheduled.

Day 59; Marshmallow land

I've been walking on clouds all day. I've been walking on clouds all day after being pulled up into the air on a chariot pulled by sentient pegasi, any of whom could kick my ass. If it hadn't been nearly two months since this arriving in this crazy place, I'd be certain I'm dreaming right now. Thanks to a spell that Luna cast on us non-pegasi, I've been walking on white fluffy condensation that should have about as much resistance to my weight as regular air.

…

OK, I looked around, saw that no one was looking (Oval and Tours don't count since they already know me) and let my inner child out to play. I've made a cloud snowman, jumped like the clouds are a bed, and done all sorts of wild whooping about. I've had my fun, and should be able to actually think without coming back to the fact that I'm way up in the sky on giant cotton balls... One moment.

…

OK, I mean it this time. I can focus.

When we arrived, Luna and I got a tour of the local weather making facility, a tour of the city in general, and an excellent meal. We were then handed the existing calender of weather for the areas that Las Pegasus is in charge of, as well as a stack of modified calenders representing the experimental changes the group of younger pegasi wanted to make. Luna graciously accepted the papers, and then had us leave so that we could discuss the situation without interruption.

We got our rooms in the high class hotel, and then Luna turned to me. I could see from the look on her face that she already had a decision. Decisive people are like that, and the princess is most certainly a decisive person/pony. That meant that whatever she was going to ask me was for my own benefit, like when a teacher asks the class for a particular answer.

“How would you go about solving this issue?”

I carefully thought about Luna's question, and started by asking about what 'we' knew.

“Well, does the factory have records on why the weather schedule has been unchanged for so long? Like maybe there needs to be rain and sun at certain times so that people can grow food down below?”

Luna nodded, and then motioned for me to go on.

“Well, if that's the case, then there are parts of the calender that cannot be changed just for the wishes of pegasi who don't know better. However, there should be times, like during the winter, that any changes in the weather would affect others less, and experiments could be carried out during those times. In essence, they should compromise.”

Luna nodded once more smiling broadly.

“Just so. This is a truly an easily resolved matter. The difficulty lies in getting Our subjects to accept Our own decisions without complaint.”

I shrugged.

“Use guilt. Say they're all being little children in their actions, which they are. Remind the older plant workers that you have to be patient with the young, and tell the younger workers not to be so selfish as to ruin other ponies' lives. If you're the one doing the speaking, they won't even think of arguing against such a reasonable request. Just, remember to moderate your voice.”

Luna's eyes narrowed.

“We are speaking quietly to thou at this very moment, are We not?” She said icily.

“Um, yes? But you are using the older wording, and you tend to get louder when orating, regardless of need.”

A few moments later, and I noticed the beginnings of a smile on Luna's face. She'd been joking with me, and after she left to tell the town her decision, Oval, Tours and I were free to go explore the city. Speaking of, I believe I'm ready to get back to exploring.

Day 72; To the Mountains

It's been busy for a while, with Luna, the guards, and I going from place to place. I've also had to be exercising regularly in between. Ick. Then, to top it off, I left this thing in my room in the castle last time we left, so the time gap's a little larger than expected. In the time since I last wrote, we've managed to solve 4 minor disputes, and make just as many public appearances.

Now Luna and I are going to be working on something a bit bigger than taking a side in an argument: Gryphons. Most gryphons don't live in Equestria, as their temperaments don’t really mix well with most ponies. Furthermore, like most sensible beings, they don't want to piss off a being who's capable of raising and lowering the sun by causing incidents all the time.

The gryphon's government is small, in keeping with the small gryphon population, and one of its major duties is oversight of the gryphons who do choose to live in Equestria (part of their 'let's not antagonize the being who could kill us all' policy). Recently, that government has started making all sorts of noise along diplomatic channels, and that sort of abrupt reversal of policy has Celestia worried.

Luna and I have the rest of the morning to prepare, and then we're off to meet with a Gryphon delegation. Celestia wants us to placate them without resorting to the types of threats that she's had to use in the past. Here's to hoping beyond all reasonable hope that I don't screw things up.

Day 73; Imminent

OK, I don't have much time to write before I have to leave again, but as I'm already packed, there isn't much to do until Airlift comes and gets me (and I'm going to have plenty of time to think on the trip to Ponyville).

There isn't anything quite so scary as a father in a determined 'I must save my daughter' mode. It's even scarier when that father happens to be in a position of great political power, and when he's willing to destroy his nation's armed forces and doom the world in order to make sure his daughter is safe. One of the gryphons living in Equestria is his daughter, Gilda, and as of a month ago, she stopped writing her weekly letters home.

We need to find Gilda quickly, and show that she isn't hurt before a week has passed. Luna, being the more prominent of the two of us in the diplomatic role, will stay here and negotiate for more time. I, in a fit of foolishness, have also told her to feel free to use her full voice if she thinks it will help.

Cobalt's squad and I are going to be handling Gilda, and Luna has highly recommended talking to Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville as our first lead in tracking Gilda down.

Day 73; The tree house

We made it to Ponyville in record time, went to the library to get Twilight, and started filling her into the situation. Twilight was horrified, and took off almost immediately to get her friends. Cobalt, Tours, and Airlift went after her, and then Oval and I started looking through the books in the library. Oval didn't know any tracking spells that would be useful for finding a flying creature, so that was the priority in our search.

Also helping us is Twilight's adopted brother, a baby dragon named Spike. He's remarkably aware and sophisticated compared to most babies I've seen, and he's been of significant help in finding our way around the... unique filing system of the library.

Right now, Oval's trying to learn the spells we've found so far, while Spike and I try to think of other sections to search. I just needed to write this to clear my head a bit.

Day 74; It's technically morning

We've made significant progress in our search, and while most of the ponies are sleeping (Tours is at Watch), I find myself unable to join them. While we were traveling yesterday, I got the story of what happened when Gilda was in Ponyville.

It starts with Rainbow Dash, whom Gilda had come to see. They spent most of the day together, with repeated attempts by Pinkie Pie to join in on the fun. Pinkie was apparently unable to do so because 'Gilda was a big meanie' and kept pushing her away. Gilda's actions then devolved from anti-social, to petty theft and verbal assault on Fluttershy.

Their interaction with Gilda ended after a disastrous party, where Gilda managed to trip every prank that Rainbow Dash had set up for random party guests. There was a confrontation between Gilda and everyone else, culminating with Gilda ending her freindship with Rainbow Dash. She then stormed off and Ponyville left the issue as recent memory.

I was distinctly unimpressed with the tale, both with the impression of Gilda I had gotten, and with how the situation had unfolded. I managed to refrain from any negative comments though, which I'm very proud of. I wasn't thinking clearly, with the stress of possible war breaking out, and the Six weren't thinking clearly either, being faced with an issue they had thought resolved blowing up in their faces a few weeks later.

I've been thinking on what I'm going to say to them tomorrow. Most obvious is to the most oblivious, Pinkie. I have a brother, and if we were doing something together, it was very easy for him to respond with hostility to anyone trying to move in on our time. I figure that Gilda's initial actions against Pinkie were stemming from simple jealousy, especially if Gilda had traveled from any significant distance to spend a day with Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash probably deserved a bit of a talking to too, for the disastrous party, but I'm not sure if I could do it in the right way. She did end up doing some mental damage to a previously close friend of hers.

And all six could use the bit of a reality that's been shoved into their faces. Issues don't just go away unresolved; they either become somebody else's problem (like mine) or they eventually come back.

Oh, and I can't forget Gilda. I can understand the hostility, but the theft doesn't fly in my book. When we find her, I'm going to be having a few words with her.

…

Wow, I'm seriously writing down plans to fix people like I'm some sort of qualified psychologist or something. Let's go to sleep before I decide I'm ready to save the world in just a few words.

Day 76; In relentless pursuit

Finding Gilda hadn't been particularly easy, as the spell that worked the best required something that belonged to both the caster and whatever was being tracked. After a bit of brainstorming, we ended up gambling on the idea that despite any animosity left over from the party, Gilda probably still considered Rainbow her friend. Since Dash is also Twilight's friend, she could 'belong' to both, and could be used as the focus in the tracking spell. (Incidentally, Oval was simultaneously awed and irritated at how quickly Twilight had learned the spell in comparison to himself)

Luckily, the spell had worked, and we had followed the heading provided for most of the journey, occasionally redirecting ourselves as needed. I have to say that it's good thing that we had pegasi with us, as the spell provided a straight line direction to Gilda, ignoring any potential problems in the terrain, like gaping chasms.

Yesterday, we found Gilda moping on a lonesome cloud on the sky, and though Rainbow Dash was all for bringing her down by force, I really didn't think that was really the best idea. I certainly wasn't going to be explaining any funny looking injuries to Gilda's dad.

Eventually, I (Gilda was determinedly ignoring the six ponies with me, and it wasn't security's job to do mine for me) managed to convince Gilda to come down by guilt tripping her

“Your dad is worried sick about you! Even if you don't want to go with 'lame and uncool' ponies, I doubt you think the same about your dad!”

Another half-hour of similar comments, and I had managed to bring her down from her cloud. She then took a double-take after getting a proper look at me for the first time, and asked just what the heck I was. I decided with the slightly humorous approach.

“Oh, just your average human/shaved-monkey/more-interesting-than-you creature. Why?”

My sarcasm was a hit, and I managed to continue with some deadpan that kept the journey back to the Gryphon delegation relatively relaxed.

Upon arrival, Gilda and her dad had an impressive reunion that started with a hug, and ended with a shouting argument. I managed to track Gilda down when she had cooled off a bit, and she waved off my concerns as no big deal. She saw regular arguments between family members as a way to show you love each other, to show there's communication in the family. I think it explains a bit of the culture clash Gilda had when she got to Ponyville.

With the crisis over, and the Gryphons no longer ready to invade Equestria, Luna, our escort, and I were ready to go. We even got to see Gilda and Rainbow Dash formally resolve their differences while we left. A very happy ending; one that I'll actually enjoy informing Celestia about when we get back to the castle.