The Secret of Motherhood.

by EclipseSight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 82131

A secret Starlight would have prefered to hide even from herself is out in the open. Will the truth drive a wedge between her and her new friends? Or will it draw them closer?

After a long hard day of friendship lessons Twilight settles down with Spike to look through her old photo album. Starlight's reaction to one of the photos brings a shocking secret to light. Starlight is a mother, and she does not know to whom.

Twilight and her friends now want to help Starlight find her long lost foal, while trying to puzzle out just how a mother could not know her own foal. Starlight meanwhile is trying to decide whether to bury the past, or drag it all up once again. Both will be painful, but the question remains. Which one would hurt the least, for all involved?

Several truths are revealed, and motivations are uncovered. When everything is laid bare how will everyone react? Will Starlight's life be turned upside down, even in this time of change for the former villain?

Published 2016-07-03 17:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-02 23:16:56 UTC

The Secret

One glance told Twilight that her student was swiftly beginning to fade away into nothing. So, even though there was still plenty more to learn, she decided to take pity on the lilac unicorn. "Okay, I think that's enough for today. Good job Starlight."

Starlight put forth a valiant effort to cast off her biting tiredness, to defy her body in a meagre effort to impress her teacher. Her attempt failed miserably. Twilight had roused her even before Celestia had risen the sun, eager to try a new teaching method. As it had turned out, she had wanted Starlight to perform a plethora of trust exercises with all of their Ponyville friends. Though of course they first had to go over several checklists detailing exactly what they were going to do. Even now, Starlight was unsure whether the forewarning had been a blessing or a curse.

All day she had been subjected to ponies throwing things at her, dumping things on top of her or even dropping her from a height. Twilight had set up a pile of blankets and then levitated her above them. It was then up to her two pegasi friends, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, to catch her before she hit the ground. Her own magic had been strictly forbidden for the entire exercise. She had to rely completely on her friends. She was glad that one had been swiftly abandoned after Fluttershy inadvertently knocked her away from the soft padding instead of catching her. No amount of rubbing or ice packs would make her rump forgive Twilight for that one. Crystal was not a fun thing to fall on, at all.

The normally shy Pegasus had immediately sprung into caretaker mode. Nothing Starlight did or said could dissuade her, meaning that she spent the next twenty minutes being mothered like a wounded animal. As soothing as it had been, any longer and her pride would have broken her patience. To her credit, Twilight had taken the hint and decided to tone down the level of peril that her student was in from then on. She did not, unfortunately, make it any less messy. Cupcake icing still clung to her fur even now.

Despite her resolve, Starlight had eventually succumbed to the overwhelming urge to save herself. Twilight, with all of her sometimes irritating attention to detail, had added another layer of difficulty to the whole affair. By setting up several distractions specific to each of her friends, she had assured that they saved Starlight far less than they would have otherwise. She had learned to dread Rarity and Rainbow Dash's turns. For Rarity, preventing the destruction of a beautiful dress was a far bigger priority than saving Starlight from a speeding cupcake. Admittedly, Starlight could see the logic behind it but she still found a little bit of resentment bubbling up within her at her place in the pecking order. Rainbow was worse. Rather than getting distracted, Rainbow tended to try and show off. Her flourishes were impressive but Twilight was shrewd. She used that against the cyan pegasus, going against her timing to catch Rainbow out. Twilight also forbade Starlight from giving Rainbow a hint, even when, after two hours, the pegasus had still not caught on.

The final straw had come when an experimental hot sauce cupcake had come within inches of her mouth. Rather than taste a creation from deep within the unfettered insanity of Pinkie Pie's mind, Starlight had broken her vow and thrown something in the way. She had saved her tongue from what could have been the searing of a lifetime but had subjected her brain to something far worse, Twilight's lectures. They went on and on. At the very least, she did not have to suffer alone for once. That made it marginally more bearable but suffering was friends was still suffering after all.

While the others had been able to wriggle their way free an hour after noon thanks to 'prior engagements,' Starlight had no such luck. It was now six o'clock. They had been working for over twelve hours. Twilight could be something of a slave master while excitable teacher mode was engaged. However, considering what the alternative could have been, Starlight was grateful for everything nonetheless. That did not mean Twilight was going to be spared from a steady stream of sarcastic quips.

"Y'know... I'm starting to think that being thrown away in a dungeon would have been preferable to this." She shook her head to try and dispel the tiredness clinging to her face like a cobweb. It was a joke she had made many times before, Twilight had learned to simply let the slightly morbid humour lie.

Twilight chuckled as she continued filing the books back in their proper sections. A quick glance at the clock caused her to do a double take. "Wow...uh... Okay, maybe I did get a little carried away... Sorry Starlight."

"Eh, it's fine. I didn't have any plans for the day anyway. Still..." she hesitated, wondering whether she was supposed to admit this. With a shrug, she decided to just go for it. Luna had advised her to be more open after all. "I'm not exactly sure what all that was supposed to accomplish. All I learned was that Fluttershy is really good at making ponies feel better, whether they want it or not, and that Pinkie Pie's cupcakes are a good substitute for glue."

In a bid to prove her point she tried to drag her hoof through her usually sleek hair, only to find it littered with painful tugs. She quickly abandoned her attempt before she accidentally peeled off her scalp and fixed Twilight with a glare that screamed 'See what I mean?'

Given just how exhausted her student was, Twilight decided to spare her any more in-depth lectures. Instead, she simply put her hoof on the lilac unicorn's shoulder. "Friendship is built on trust, and these exercises are the perfect way to emphasise that and grow trust between friends." She also made a mental note to never push things that far again. Starlight was resilient and definitely a changed pony but she could still fall back on her old vices under the pressure. The last thing anyone in Equestria needed was for one of the most powerful unicorns in the land to have a relapse. The thought haunted the darkest recesses of Twilight's mind, the part she only visited in her deepest nightmares, the thought that she would one day have to face her student as an adversary once again.

"I'll take your word for it." Stifling a yawn, Starlight finally pulled herself off of the comfortable chair. She yearned to sink into it for just a little longer but she knew that her back would hate her if she fell asleep in a sitting position, like she had done last night. With a disgruntled huff, she changed the subject, "Right now I just need a bath."

The hoof Twilight had placed on Starlight's shoulder really was feeling a bit sticky. As in, it was almost cementing itself to the floor. She was going to have to ask what in Equestria Pinkie Pie had put in those cupcakes. "I have a special shampoo that you can use. Rarity recommended it to me. It's apparently guaranteed to leave your mane feeling fresh and rejuvenated after even the wildest of parties. Pinkie hasn't been able to beat it yet."

Starlight frowned. The fact such a thing was even a guarantee did not surprise her nearly as much as it should have. When Pinkie Pie was involved, she just learned to stop trying to question it. Twilight had been pretty firm about it really, almost manically so. It made Starlight wonder if she had actually tried already and failed. "I think I'll take you up on that offer...as weird as it sounds. Since I'd rather not be sticking to the pillow tomorrow." She gave her mane another quick tug, wincing as the strands pulled at her head. She really hoped this was actually going to work. Manes and magic did not go as well as logic dictated they should.

Twilight let out another merry giggle, the image of Starlight walking around with a pillow stuck to her head popping very vividly into her mind. As she continued to think about it, the hilarity of the image grew. Too wrapped up in her own amusement, she was completely oblivious to Starlight's rapidly mounting confusion. Whether it was from exhaustion or just being accustomed to this sort of thing, her student simply backed away towards the door.

“Okay...I'm just going to leave you here... laughing maniacally while I get myself into a more presentable state. Um...have fun!" She gave a short wave, then vanished with a loud pop. Teleportation was one of her favourite things about magic.

It took Twilight a solid minute to sober up. Perhaps the length of the day had finally begun to catch up with her too. After taking a moment to settle her breathing, she let herself settle down on the armchair that Starlight had vacated. It was delightfully warm from being occupied for so long, though there was a certain stickiness that she really should have gotten rid of before planting her haunches. She set about to do just that when a voice came from behind her.

"You finally done?"

Recognising that young, raspy male voice, Twilight did not have to turn around to know that Spike had come through the door. Her number one assistant always managed to appear at just the right time, exactly when she needed him.

“Uh huh," Twilight let him have the full brunt of an accusatory stare. She would let him sweat for just a little bit.“I see you made yourself scarce.”

Spike scratched the back of his neck, desperately trying to formulate a reasonable excuse. Anything less than stellar could have him delegated to helping Starlight through her friendship lessons for a month. He had not had to do such a thing since helping her reunite with Sunburst. He was not particularly adverse to the idea, he and Starlight got along swimmingly, despite how off-kilter she could get. It was simply a matter of he had better things to do, and of course, the castle would not clean itself.

"Oh. I uuh... had chores to do..." He shifted his eyes nervously, looking back towards the door. It was looking very tempting right now. The book he was clutching in his claws could wait until later. "Y'know... dusting, cleaning the windows and uh..." he faltered. It was true that he had been cleaning the windows and dusting the shelves, but such things had only taken him until noon. The rest of the day had been devoted to just him, his comics and a delicious, mouth-watering bowl of sparkling gems. He thought better of mentioning that though.

His shoulders relaxed instantly when he heard Twilight's soft chuckle. She reached out and gently roughed his head spikes. He could detect a sugary scent clinging to her hoof. Just what had they been doing in here all day?

"I'm only teasing Spike." Twilight smiled, even her assistant deserved some days off now and again. Seven ponies had been enough chaos for one day. "Though, if you would...please remind me to never put Starlight through something so gruelling again. I let myself get carried away."

Well able to believe that, Spike whipped out a quill and piece of parchment. Carrying such things around with him had become a necessity with Twilight. She always needed him to write something down. "Got it."

As he was scribbling down the memo, Twilight let her attention drift to the large book that he had brought with him. It was old, the leather binding showed obvious signs of wear. Many ponies had read this book. It was not the kind of thing she would have suspected Spike to be interested in, yet it struck a familiar chord within her.

"What's that?" she asked, finally giving in to her curiosity. It was certainly not a book from her library. Did that mean it was new, unread? Her mouth began to water, the anticipation of all that new knowledge just waiting for her was almost too much.

The question caused a sly grin to spread across Spike's face, all of his fear gone. Rather than answer her verbally, he simply picked the book back up and opened it. The stiff, unyielding pages landed somewhere in the middle. Her responding mortified gasp told him that she had gotten the message. Indeed, she seemed to take a couple of steps back, staring at the book as if it was going to burn her. Twilight Sparkle scared of a book, the day would never come again.

"I'm assuming mum sent you that?" Twilight asked, glaring at the offending tome. It was just like something her mum would do, as mad a mare as she was.

Not surprised that Twilight had guessed so quickly, Spike simply nodded and closed the book. He held it out to her, taunting her with it. "I thought it'd be fun."

Twilight snorted, even as she moved over to the large sofa. Hopping onto it, she nestled herself into the plush cushions, leaving plenty of room for a small young dragon to snuggle up next to her. She cracked a smile, ruffling one of her wings in an inviting gesture. "Do you want to look through it together?"

Nodding eagerly, Spike clambered up onto the sofa. He pressed his back against her soft warmth, using her perfectly preened feathers as a pillow. It had taken some getting used to, but he found alicorn Twilight just that little bit more comfortable than unicorn Twilight. He felt her sides rise and fall rapidly as she giggled beneath him. Eyes glittering with excitement, he turned to the first page.

The book was a collection of photographs, capturing the life of Twilight and her family between the leather-bound covers. The passage of time spanned from the wedding of Twilight Velvet and Night Light all the way to Spike's fourth birthday. Many a night of their childhood had been spent huddled around the book with the rest of their family. The colourful memories ignited a small warmth within them, just as the crackling fire had done so long ago. They were family, despite the difference in species and origin. As Spike turned the page, snickering to himself, Twilight leaned in and nuzzled him fondly. His head snapped up in an instant but she feigned innocence until he returned his attention to the book. Sometimes she just had to remind him how much he meant to her, whether he thought he was too old for it or not.

Giggles and groans rose and fell in the sleepy recesses of Starlight's brain. The warmth of her bath still lingered, enveloping her in a warm, fuzzy blanket that soothed her aching muscles. Twilight's shampoo had done the trick, her coat was as good as new. A soft towel was wrapped around her head, bundling her drying mane into a white cocoon. As a whole, she could not remember a time where she had felt so relaxed outside of the spa.

Following the muffled sounds, she came back to the same room. She had expected Twilight to still be cleaning up, or to have gotten absorbed in one of the history books detailing friendship through the ages of Equestria. She was partially right, though the inclusion of Spike through her for something of a loop. Her exhausted brain carelessly tossed it to the side, instead focusing on what they were actually doing. Spike seemed to the pointing at something, snickering while Twilight turned a deep shade of crimson. Her mentor looked ready to bury her head into the arm of the sofa. This was going to be perfect. She briefly considered sneaking up on them, but announcing herself offered a lot more opportunities for fun. There was also the slight chance that whatever they were reading was private.

She waited until she was just in front of them. With how absorbed they were, slipping towards them was child's play. "So...I take it that's interesting?" she asked sweetly, letting her voice drawl just a little bit. She wanted them to know that she had caught them.

Satisfaction blossomed in her breast as the two jerked in surprise and the book slammed shut. Twilight's wings popped open, almost sending poor Spike tumbling onto the floor. While they fumbled, Starlight laid herself down on the floor next to them. The thick, luxuriously soft carpet caressed her underbelly as she curled her hooves under herself. Above her, Twilight and Spike had managed to regain their composure, at least a little.

"Starlight!" Twilight's voice was a little too high and a little too cheery, causing Starlight's smirk to widen slightly. "How did the shampoo work?"

Was Twilight really trying to change the subject? Starlight had to suppress a cackle at her sudden good fortune. Whatever she had stumbled across was absolutely going to be worth the effort. "Oh, yes," she answered innocently, rolling her shoulders and tossing her head. She could feel her trapped mane bouncing around within the folds of her towel. "I'm not adhesive anymore at least."

"Adhesive?" Spike looked between the two ponies, brimming with curiosity. It seemed he really had missed a very interesting day.

"Yeah...thanks to Twilight's trust exercises I spent the whole day being pelted with cupcakes." She took a moment to watch as her mentor sank a little lower in her chair. Her next words only made Twilight want to disappear into the magenta fabric. "Then I was also dropped onto a giant cake and-"

"Okay okay! I already said I'd go easier next time! Sorry!"

Both Starlight and Spike turned, eyes wide, to see Twilight panting heavily. The alicorn's wings were flared, every feather extended to its fullest in a bid to make her look as large as possible. Spike was the first to recover, knowing Twilight far too well to think that she was actually angry.

It took Starlight a moment to realise that she had actually backed away several feet from the bottom of the sofa. In an effort to mask her blunder she jumped to her feet. Spike's snickering told her that she not been particularly successful. Her silver lining was that Twilight seemed to have been oblivious to her lapse.

"Heh-heh, maybe I should have joined in. That sounds like it would have been a lot of fun." Spike continued to snicker until a shadow fell over him. He looked up to see Starlight glaring down at him, clearly less amused than he was.

Letting her voice develop something of a frozen bite, she brought her head to within inches of the little dragon's snout and whispered, "You should have seen how the others ended up. But by all means, join us next time and find out."

Getting a distinct feeling that he was now treading deep water, Spike backed himself up as best as he could. His back pressed against Twilight's soft fur, which made him feel a little safer. Starlight would never actually hurt him but going into a verbal battle with her was something of a harrowing experience. She was not a mare to just lightly let things go.

Glancing between the two, Twilight had to hold in her laughter. She knew exactly what was coming next. Despite the difference in age, the two went after each other like brother and sister. Fond memories of her own brother, Shining Armour, pulling the exact same trick on her whenever she got a little too big for her mane, flooded back to her. Eventually, she had gotten far too old for such childish things but Starlight's unnerving unpredictability was a good tool to keep Spike guessing just a little longer than he usually would. Even so, she felt him immediately relax against her when Starlight began to chortle.

"Oh, Spike I'm only joking." She rested her hoof on the sofa next to the dragon's foot. "I'm the only one who ended up being cupcaked. Well...unless you count one of Twilight's books."

"Which I absolutely do!" Twilight's feathers ruffled, her indignation clear in every gentle rustle. This time, Starlight held her ground without batting an eyelid. "Just be glad I was able to clean it. Or you'd be writing me a new copy...by hoof!"

Starlight rolled her eyes, that threat had absolutely no weight behind it. "And then you wouldn't be able to read it so that would be kind of pointless Twilight." She grinned victoriously as Twilight's pumped up frustration devolved into just pouting at her student. "Plus, it was your fault for getting cupcakes of all things. Why not sponge balls?"

Her pout vanishing in an instant, Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully. That would have been a far better idea. "I...guess I never thought of that. I just asked Pinkie Pie to get me as many soft things as she could dig up. I guess cupcakes should have been obvious."

Despite herself, Starlight had to snort. "Wait... you asked Pinkie Pie? Twilight...seriously...what did you expect asking Pinkie Pie to supply a Friendship Lesson? Did you plan this at all?" She ran a hoof through her damp tail. Her teacher's lack of preparation would have annoyed her more but the bath had been a pleasant experience.

Without a suitable answer, Twilight could only shrug. Starlight did make a good point. Mentally, she highlighted and underlined her note to keep herself in check from now on. Impulsive behaviour was Starlight's forte, not hers.

They had stalled long enough. Setting her horn aglow, Starlight pulled the object of her curiosity back to the forefront of the conversation. Dangling it in front of the two, she tapped it with her hoof. "So what's this then?"

She gave no resistance when Twilight pulled it from her grasp. As long as they had her attention she was content. She allowed her curious sapphire gaze to bore into both alicorn and dragon. Twilight swallowed, dread filling her. She was not going to hear the end of this for a long time. The notion to not answer did not even cross her mind. Denying Starlight's curiosity had never ended well. "It's our family photo album. Spike wanted to go through it..." The note of accusing present in her words caused the young dragon to squirm slightly against her side. She allowed herself that little moment of vengeance then opened the book for Starlight to see. Though, she did make sure that there was nothing embarrassing on the page beforehand.

That had Starlight's interest piqued immediately. They had never talked about family, mostly at her own insistence. This gave her the perfect opportunity to gain some insight into Twilight's family without the flow of conversation having to go both ways. “You're so adorable!” she suddenly squealed, childish glee boiling up in her chest. "You're poring over that ABC book as if it's one of Meadowbrook's eight enchanted items!"

Through the bright red field of embarrassment flaring from her cheeks, Twilight did feel a small hint of triumph. "So, you do agree that there are eight then?"

"Duh, I just had to pick a mage obscure enough to where nopony would know the specifics but great enough that they would trust me. Who better than one of the greatest healers in Equestrian history? The fact you came along able to disprove my claim was just a chance in a thousand." She shrugged her shoulders as if trying to dismiss her old logic. She had done so many things wrong, her planning had been all backwards. "Maybe if I had actually enchanted the staff... then I could have removed my own mark. That way I wouldn't have thrown myself off the deep end when you came along and..."

Her twisted musings left her staring blankly at the ceiling as she turned in on herself. In the end, all she had been was a hypocrite. Her great utopia had been nothing but a lie, even to herself. Enchanting the staff should have been the obvious choice but she had been too afraid. Without her magic she would not have been equal, she would have been nothing. Twilight would have won the contest at her village hooves down and that would have been the end of it. Time would not have been torn asunder and the devastation of seven Equestria's would not rest solely on her shoulders.

Where would that have left her? Without everything that had occurred in the past, Twilight would have had no reason to take her on as a student. Would the town have taken her in, she would have been one of them after all or would she have simply wandered alone. A frigid chill settled into her heart that seemed to slow the beating organ into a weak, pathetic rhythm designed to keep her upright and no more. Her life's entire meaning hinged on their being so many of her awful deeds behind her. Would she ever be able to be Starlight again, or was she just meant to be driven by guilt for the rest of her life? Without her past misdeeds, she would never have been in a position to defeat Chrysalis and save all of Equestria. Everything good that she had ever done was only possible because of all the bad.

"Hey, Equestria to Starlight. Snap out of it!" Spike's worried voice shattered through her dark thoughts like a stone through a pane of glass.

She managed to drag herself back to the present, just in time to see Spike's claw waving itself in front of her face. Twilight had taken a slightly more dignified approach, wrapping a wing around her shoulders. The alicorn appeared to be shaking, her feathers tickled Starlight's shoulders. It took the unicorn a moment to realise that the shaking was actually her. A deep breath helped steady her, enough that she could try and set her friend's worry at ease.

"Sorry, sometimes I just...wonder what would have happened if I'd have done things differently." She shook her head and gently pushed Twilight's wing away. The alicorn retracted it without complaint. The warmth was missed but Starlight was a pony who liked her space. Despite her momentary dip, she was calm and composed. "Like...what would have happened if I had actually removed my own cutie mark. Would I still have gone completely and utterly evil or would I have just...faded into the background."

Twilight's eyes were kind and understanding. She was the reason that Starlight had been able to pull herself back from the dark path she had been spiralling down. Spike, Trixie and the others had helped as well but Twilight had been the one always at her shoulder, whether Starlight actually wanted her there or not. "You don't have to keep thinking about that Starlight. The past is in the past. All you need to do is make sure that it never repeats itself." The alicorn smiled brightly, lifting the mood by several notches. "And given all your progress, I am confident that you'll be just fine."

"Thanks, Twilight," Starlight said softly, lowering her head gratefully. As always, Twilight knew exactly what she needed to here. At points, it was a little unnerving but today she was happy to just accept the praise. For a time anyway. Before the conversation plunged itself any deeper, Starlight straightened up and thrust the photo album back into Twilight's face. "Now! Next page!" she demanded. Her mood still needed a boost, being physically damp was more than enough for tonight.

Twilight faked a loud groan that fooled no one. "Do we have to?" Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Spike gleefully flicking to the beginning of her section. All the way to her birth? This was going to be a long night. "Haven't you seen enough?"

"Pfft! Hardly! You owe me this Twilight. After throwing over a hundred cupcakes at me, you need to show me a hundred photos. It's only fair!" She bumped the fist that Spike was holding out for her, then they both tried to wear Twilight down with their yearning gaze.

"Actually, it was one hundred and twenty-nine," Twilight put in, unable to help herself. Specifics were always the way to go, they prevented confusion and kept everyone on the same page. One day, she would be able to teach Starlight that as well. Though the day was probably long away. Settling herself in for the long night, she laid herself back down behind Spike. There was room on the sofa for three but for now, Starlight seemed perfectly content with the floor.

With a roll of her eyes, Starlight twisted the book to give herself a better look. "I'd be a little disturbed that you counted but since it's you I think I'm used to it by now-"

The breath she had been using to convey her words caught in her throat, lodging itself in place and refusing to move. Her eyes widened even as her vision began to blur and distort. Deep within the recesses of her mind, a door that had been sealed with sturdy iron chains slowly began to creak open.

Surprised by the sudden, intense reaction Twilight followed Starlight's unfocused gaze to the very first picture. It was of her mother, exhausted pride radiating from her as she laid in a white bed framed by immaculate white walls. In her hooves, she held a small purple bundle of joy, the baby Twilight Sparkle. It was the day of Twilight's birth...so why?

"I...hoped never to see that memory ever again." The whimper tore from Starlight's trembling lips, even as she continued to stare at the image in front of her. As much as she stared, she was no longer seeing Twilight Velvet and Twilight Sparkle. Instead, she saw another pony, very familiar to her holding a foal that she could yet see. "I thought I'd buried it forever."

Even though she pulled her eyes away, the image remained burned into her retinas. It rapidly became clearer and more vivid, trying to drown out her physical surroundings and drew her back into the memory she had tried to purge. A room as white as the one in the photo, full of ponies in hospital scrubs bustling around her, while a small form wriggled contentedly against her chest. A phantom warmth pressed into her breast, right above her racing heart. That was all she was able to bear, her mind's eye refused to look down, already knowing exactly what she would see.

Spike shut the book as quietly as he could. Even the soft whoosh of air escaping the pages was deafening in his ears. "What memory is that?" he asked softly, slipping off the sofa and coming to Starlight's side. Twilight took up position on the other and the two waited patiently for Starlight to summon the strength to answer them.

It took several moments for Starlight's constricted throat to allow her to form a response. She knew they were going to have questions, a lot of them. If she had asked, they would have relented for as long as she needed. The temptation gouged at her. All she wanted to do was collapse onto her bed and sob alone until that awful moment in her life was buried once again.Of all the horrible things she had done, all the terrible experiences she had wanted to bury, this was the one she had actually tried to destroy. Why could it not just have...worked?

"The day I gave birth..." she mumbled wearily, trying to take a few steps away from them. Her legs failed her and she slumped back into a sitting position. The loud gasps of both Twilight and Spike echoed in her ears, causing her to wince. The wound was raw once again and her friends were privy to her darkest secret. She was going to have to tell them, erasing it would not work a second time.

Author's Note

Okay I think it's about time I tackled a multi chapter story once again. This is just an idea that came to me at random, as they all seem to do. I hope you all come along for the ride with me as I bring this idea to the page. Updates will be woven throughout my one shot story updates, though chapters will be a fair bit shorter. Expect an update at least once a week if not more.

Feel free to leave whatever suggestions, criticisms or comments you feel are appropriate. I appreciate them all. Hope you all enjoy the story as much as I am probably going to enjoy writing it.

The Story.

"You're a mother?" Twilight's yelp caused Starlight to flinch backwards, her ears folding back against her head as she tried to make herself as small as possible. The princess continued to stare in dumb shock, even as her student refused to look at her and continued staring blankly at the nearby wall. Twilight's brain wrestled with the very idea of it all, struggling to even begin processing such a startling revelation. Starlight's murky past had been something of a quandary for her, there was still much that the lilac mare had yet to reveal about herself. That something of this magnitude had remained unsaid during her time at the castle... A shudder ran the entire length of Twilight's spine.

When a small, almost imperceptible nod answered her question, another tumbled from her lips. It was all she could do to reign in her shock to avoid startling Starlight any further and crushing her already wilting frame into a crumpled heap. "When? How...I mean...what?" She clapped a hoof to her mouth to stop the stream of babbling before it overwhelmed her.

Finally, Starlight was able to summon the courage to angle her body towards her two friends, if only a fraction. Her eyes still gazed at nothing, glazing over as she tried to quickly run the gauntlet of her timeline. A small gasp rippled up from deep within her core. "E-leven years..." How was that possible? If so much time had passed, how could her soul still bear such a crippling scar that would paralyze her like this? She looked up, even as her shoulders remained hunched. "Eleven years...roughly anyway..." she croaked again, straining through the solid lump in her throat to make her words carry themselves to Twilight.

Twilight's heart skipped several beats, momentarily turning her blood to ice. Eleven years...that was a long time to keep such a weighted secret locked away. Faint tingling sensations ran up and down the length of her horn. The remnants of several powerful spells were peeling away from Starlight, before disintegrating back into the soft arcane hum that permeated through all of Equestria and beyond.

Her heart begged her to reach out and hold Starlight close, as she had done previously. She forced herself to keep perfectly still, even as curiosity burned within her. She had to know what would drive a pony to go to such lengths to purge their memory with such brutal conviction. The only memory that had ever come close to tempting her into such a reprehensible act was of her, Spike and Starlight standing in the remains of Equestria, dead and barren from a cause too terrible for them to imagine.

"I'm sorry..."

The broken little whimper tugged Twilight back to the situation she had yet to deal with. The one with all the answers was Starlight, which left the lavender alicorn torn in two. If she was going to heal such a horrific wound then she was going to need answers. Her studious brain had already begun to piece together the sparse details but her picture was only marginally better than a blank canvas. Disgust boiled within her gut like a pitch black pit of putrid tar. Regrettably, the quickest approach was to coax one of her dearest friends to willingly bleed herself dry. Hesitation rotted Twilight's resolve, rending the strength from her now quaking limbs.

She would not do it. Starlight knew that well. It was not in Twilight's nature to be so cruel. Eventually, the inner struggle waging war within her would fade and she would bend to Starlight's whim. No matter how much it threatened to tear her asunder, Twilight would respect any decision her student made and honour it until the very end. Starlight wondered briefly if it was knowing her teacher so well that spurred her onwards.

"You don't have to ask Twilight...actually I'd prefer you didn't. I'm going to tell you I just..." She swallowed past the painful lump still wedged in her throat. "I just...need a minute."

"Of course." Dipping her head, Twilight finally allowed herself to break her vigil of stillness. She rose quietly and turned to the sofa. Her hooves began obsessively plumping every cushion they could find.

Some movement caught her eye. For a moment she thought it was Starlight but her eyes adjusted quickly. Using silent hand motions, Spike signalled that he was on his way to prepare food, or possibly tea. Either way, she mouthed her gratitude to the little dragon. After a moment, she and Starlight were alone in the most comfortable room in the castle.

Starlight knew what Twilight wanted. She dragged herself to her hooves. It hurt to move. An emotional break stabbed at her with real, physical pain. She should have been terrified of such a twisted occurrence but compared to the grief leaking from her throbbing heart, it was nothing. Leaden limbs made the feeble attempt to drag her onto the sofa. The inanimate furniture seemed to rebuff her, sucking at her hooves and dragging her downwards, as if it could not bear to hold the weight of her grief. It was not yet as heavy as it had been that day but she could feel it growing within the confines of her chest.

A warm pressure enveloped her, momentarily strengthening her against the coming tide of emotion. Familiar, friendly magenta magic glistened around her hooves and presumably her whole body. It was comforting and yet it was only a question. She managed another nod, tears burning in her eyes. The brief flash of memory had broken her so thoroughly that even Twilight was afraid to touch her, in case she caused more harm. The worst part was, Starlight could do nothing to assure her, or indeed herself, otherwise.

As Twilight's beautiful magic pulled her onto the sofa, Starlight took the moment of weightless freedom to try and pull herself together. All too quickly, the comforting grip vanished and she had to remain upright under her own power. A brief, selfish part of her wanted to ask Twilight to maintain her hold. She resisted, if this was going to be done, then it would be under her own power. Exhaling softly, she straightened her shoulders as best as she could. Her own magic dislodged the towel and threw it to the floor, allowing her silky mane to tumble down and around her shoulders. She curled her tail around her hooves, creating a small circle of projected safety. The open end of her barrier faced Twilight.

"Thanks..." she murmured, realising that she had not offered gratitude for the alicorn's aid. It was unnecessary, she knew that. Her dry mouth just needed practice for the ordeal to come.

There was no ordained time for starting a story like this, there simply could not be. One breath passed, then a second and a third. By the time Starlight was on her sixth, she knew that it was now or never. "Everything is...flooding back to me... All of it isn't clear yet. I don't remember names...and I think that was intentional." She let out a weary sigh. "I erased them separately...to ensure that I never went after them. Considering what I tried to do to you...that was probably a good call."

"You aren't that pony anymore," Twilight said quietly. "Don't forget that."

All Starlight could offer for the encouragement was a weak, watery smile. Engaging in any sort of conversation would only lengthen the agonising process into something beyond her capabilities. Twilight understood that and expected no other response. She tightened her lips and extended one of her wings. She made sure not to touch Starlight, her goal was to reinforce the blanket of security. This was an absolutely safe space and nothing was going to interrupt.

"Okay...I guess it would have been twelve years ago...that's still hard to believe...anyway. The moment I was old enough to strike out on my own I went to Canterlot to find Sunburst. My equalisation spell was ready but...I wanted to give friendship with him a chance. You can already guess how it turned out. I had no idea where to start, with a whole city to search. My planning also wasn't the best back then. I just wanted...out.

So...since I'm so bad at planning my first night in Canterlot was spent exhausted and fundless in the middle of winter. I managed to bundle myself up in an alley, keeping myself kicking with a Warming Spell but..." She let herself snicker at her own idiocy, it was the only way she could keep herself from sobbing. A miserable, cold night she had dealt with many a time, but the memories that pulsed within her would not let this be just a cold night brought about by her own impulse. It had to be portrayed as the worse night of her life, even if that came later.

An electric pulse twitched Twilight's extended wing. She pulled it back into herself, having come a hair's breadth from breaking her vow of abstinence. The image of a much younger Starlight, barely out of her nest, curled up alone between cold unyielding brick as black grasping shadows closed in on her shivering form. While she wished it were not so, she knew personally what such a mare's reception would have been from the Canterlot Elite. Frosty indifference would quickly turn to cutting jibes and jeers of contempt if she even attempted to push her ironclad boundaries. She pulled herself away from the image before hot anger could suffuse her innards. The story was only going to get worse.

"I tried again the next day. Stubborn I guess..." Starlight's voice retained the echo of her humourless laugh. Hating herself somehow made this a little easier. If that was what it took, then she would take what she could get. "I didn't want to give up at that moment, but life had other plans. I collapsed in the street. I don't know how long I was out but when I woke up it was nighttime. I was warm and dry inside a house. I freaked out a bit but I was..." The acrid venom that she had long since buried beneath the layers of time rose to the surface. "...inside his house."

Grinding her teeth together helped force back the surging hatred. It had been years ago, and the pony in front of her was not the one who deserved her rage. "All I'm able to remember is that he was a pegasus, and a complete gentlecolt, just helping the young mare who had collapsed in the street. We got...closer than we should have in the few days I stayed in his house." She faltered, suddenly feeling as if she had just washed with cold, slimy mud. The grime dug itself deeper than her still flawless, recently bathed skin, settling in a place where it could never be scrubbed away. "Ugh...Twilight can you fill in the gaps yourself here? I don't want to have to spell it out."

"I got it, don't worry," Twilight assured her quickly. Starlight's glowing red cheeks paled slightly as the sigh of relief whooshed from her lungs.

"It was stupid, I was at fault for it and I'm not even going to make excuses for it. I left immediately after it sunk in, to prevent any more incidents. I couldn't leave the city yet but the few days respite had allowed me to find work at a restaurant. The name isn't coming back to me... Maybe it's a side effect of my other spells I don't know. They were understaffed and the manager made manticores look cuddly. Apparently, he took something of a shine to me, since my magic allowed me to set up the restaurant in under ten minutes on a good day. The money allowed me to stay in the city for a while."

"Wait...you didn't go home?" Twilight asked, silently wondering just how many layers this twisted tale could contain.

A short, mirthless laugh burst from Starlight and she shook her head as if bemused by the very idea. "No, not at all. My bad planning and impulsive recklessness were not my only reasons for leaving as soon as I was able. They just helped me along. My parents and I...didn't get along, though I guess hindsight is always perfect. Anyway... everything got complicated really quickly when I started feeling sick every morning. I ignored it for a time but eventually, a quick trip to the hospital told me why."

“You'd fallen pregnant,” Twilight surmised, unable to truly fathom how terrifying that must have been. To be alone in a city that cared nothing for you while being struck with the revelation that your life would never be the same again...

"Yup, you got it in one. As you would imagine, that put something of a wrench in whatever plan I'd been going for. I assume Sunburst was already in the Crystal Empire by that point so that was a bust. I didn't tell him...the father I mean. I blamed myself and I mostly still do... I also didn't think I could face him. You saw how I was with Sunburst...well, Spike did mostly. It was that but...much much worse."

A small nod told her that Twilight understood. She reached up and began to gently rub her temples, closing her eyes to try and stem the flood of images cascading through her. Her barriers had all broken at once and now her brain was simply trying to catch up. That day played out in her mind again and again, with such detail that it may as well have been happening at that moment. She wanted to stop, to just let the memories run their course, just so that she could get away from them for even a second.

Her student's obvious distress plucked Twilight's heartstrings. She had to do it. Reaching up, she carefully rested her hoof on Starlight's shoulder. "You can take a break if you need to. I'll wait."

Almost as if to reassure her teacher that such a thing was okay, Starlight leaned into the touch. She shook her head, dismissing the notion before it could tempt her. If she stopped now, she was going to break and then starting again would be exponentially more difficult.

"I know you would but no... I can skip to the end here basically. The months passed pretty quickly. I could still use my magic so everything was fine with my work. I'd saved up a fair amount when the time actually came. I was going to make the trip back home. I never got along with my parents but...it would have been fine, I know that. Well...I guess life had other plans."

A low growl vibrated deep in her chest. Small sparks of teal arced around her horn as all of the anger she had kept locked away cascaded out into the open. Had she not purged the names from her mind, then she would have done far worse than altering the timelines of all involved.

"The father and his family found out I was pregnant. I don't know how but I wasn't exactly careful. They...they made their own arrangements and the hospital bowed to them. I guess they were an influential family, just my luck." The surge of anger that provided her strength began to ebb away, her voice weakening to barely a whisper. "They could just...do what they wanted and I had no way of stopping it. I'd never felt so helpless before. I'd held my foal for three days, just long enough I guess... Then...when I was asleep they...they..."

The floodgates finally opened and tears streamed openly down her cheeks. Everything was starting to collapse. She coughed to try and hold herself together. Her throat was almost closed, breathing was a chore. All she had to do was hold out a little longer.

"I get it...I really do. An entire family of rich, well-adapted ponies versus a young single mother just...isn't a contest. I know that. Its just...they took it from me. They took my foal and just left me to deal with it..." She trailed off, trying to steady herself with a breath but only causing a cough that drained her remaining strength. Just as she was about to crumble, she uttered the final words.

"They left Canterlot. I looked for weeks but no one would help me. Canterlot didn't care, Princess Celestia was unreachable and I just...had to give in. All I could do was erase the memory from existence and hope that the foal was happy and safe..somewhere."

She tried to say more, her memories were still burning behind her eyes. No matter how hard she tried to force herself, nothing but empty air and shuddering sobs would emerge from her throat. She slumped against Twilight, soaking the alicorn's chest with her grief.

She felt herself being bundled into a tight hug, one which her trembling, aching body gladly sunk into. Warmth and protection enveloped her but both were powerless against the never-ending stream of tears. No matter how much she clenched her eyes shut, the ghosts of her past would not fade. They were making up for eleven years of festering hurt and would not rest until she had expelled all of it.

Twilight felt completely helpless. She had forced her student to bleed and now she could do nothing to stop the flow except hold her as close as possible. Time was meaningless, four days could have passed and she would have stayed in this very spot until Starlight was finished.

The river of tears finally slowed down to a trickle and then dried entirely. Starlight allowed herself to stay pressed into the comforting embrace for a few more moments, reluctant to emerge back into the cold, hurtful world. It would not wait forever. She pushed herself upright, looking anywhere but the alicorn sitting next to her.

"Are you okay?" she heard Twilight ask. It was a completely useless question, they both knew that. Twilight just had to ask something...anything.

"I...I guess..." She was far from okay, but she was better. That would have to do. "I'm sorry...I...I can't say anymore right now."

"Don't apologise. You've said enough."

Starlight could only grimace. Dismounting from the sofa, she fell heavily on her jelly-like limbs. They were just able to support her weight. "I...I need to be alone for a bit...And I think you do too..."

"Okay," Twilight replied, remaining seated for the moment. "I'll bring food when it's ready."

The long walk to her room was too daunting a task. As risky as it was in her current emotional state, Starlight flared her horn. A loud pop shattered through the crushing silence, carrying her to her room. As soon as she was gone, Twilight launched herself to the ground. Her hooves immediately fell into her old rhythm, she paced back and forth across the floor. Several sparks had been ignited within her and now they needed to burst.

Equestria was far from perfect, she had slowly begun to realise that ever since exiting her bubble under Celestia's wing. Her eyes had opened to the injustices and evil lurking just below the surface. She had remained optimistic, for every dark shadow there were a thousand loving flames just waiting to lend their warmth to a friend or stranger. Revulsion built up within her. Her home city of Canterlot had done this to one of her friends. This was far beyond an adherence to an archaic and flawed class system, this was nothing less than despicable.

Seething, Twilight was oblivious to Spike entering the room. For a while, he simply watched her pace and mutter to herself. She needed this, her thoughts needed to straighten themselves out, away from distraction. After several minutes, he set the heavy platter of food down on a table. He could bear this no longer. Stepping into the path of Twilight's relentless pacing, he raised a hand and planted it firmly on her chest.

The young dragon's claw froze Twilight in place. Her rage dissipated at the sight of Spike's worried expression staring up at her. She settled herself down and pulled him against her. He allowed her to hold him without complaint.

"That bad huh?" he asked, hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry Spike... I just...that such a thing happened. How could any pony do that? It doesn't make sense." She placed a hoof on her chest, inhaling deeply. As she exhaled she extended her hoof, casting her distress into the winds. Cadance's breathing technique was effective but it was only a temporary measure. "They took her foal...while she slept and abandoned her in Canterlot."

“Seriously?” Spike spat, his claws clenching into fists. The tendons popped and smarted but he did not care. "Who?"

“I don't know...” Twilight admitted softly, blinking back the moisture lurking the corners of her eyes. “She erased the names from her memory, with stronger spells than I want to imagine. She didn't want to lash out against them."

"That's more than they deserve," Spike snorted. Smoke spurted from his nostrils as he came perilously close to spouting fire. Almost immediately afterwards, he deflated under the weight of his rash words. "Sorry. I shouldn't stay stuff like that... That's just, wrong."

“I know...” was the only response the princess was able to give.

Her heart yearned to hold on to the belief that no pony would be capable of an act so heinous. She wanted to continue believing that such things were reserved for beings like Tirek or perhaps Sombra. That was a childish hope, one that she squashed quickly. She trusted Starlight, her account had been far too real. The poison of evil could manifest in anyone. One did not have to be an all-powerful demon to shatter someone's life as if it were a fragile pane of glass.

She turned her attention to the tea and food resting on the platter. After setting aside portions for both herself and Spike, she lifted the silver tray into the air with magic. She could wallow in her own despair later. Of them all, Starlight was in by far the worst shape.

"I'll be back," she said softly, making for the door. Spike's small, uncertain voice came from behind her and she paused mid-step.

"What are we going to do about this?"

She sighed and looked away. He expected her to know the answer, she always did. However, this time it was not her answer to give. "I don't know yet... That's up to Starlight." She walked away, leaving him to this thoughts as she had been left to hers.

As she had expected, she found Starlight's door closed. She raised her hoof to knock, or even push it open, but managed to hold herself off. Instead, she simply laid the platter in the hallway, then called gently through the dark wooden door. "I'm leaving food at the door for when you're ready."

There was no reply, not that she had expected any. Wrenching herself away, the alicorn trotted back to Spike. She found him sitting on the couch, the photo album in his lap. She cursed her own ineptitude. Of course, he was blaming himself, he had inadvertently brought the whole thing up. She tugged the book away from him, breaking the dragon from his thoughts. She smiled warmly at him, which he was able to weakly return.

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Spike. It isn't your fault."

He opened his mouth, ready to vehemently protest her claim. She stopped him by touching her hoof to his snout, holding it closed. "No buts Spike. There is absolutely no way you could have known. Please, don't let yourself think like that."

She was right, he knew that much. Starlight would say the same. He reached out and grabbed a sandwich, shoving it into his mouth and taking a hefty bite in the same motion. While he chewed, Twilight picked up a sandwich of her own, eating a little more eloquently than her assistant.

"How is it?" The heavy silence in the air was unbearable, Spike had to break it somehow.

Twilight smiled and craned her neck downwards, nuzzling his head briefly. "Perfect, as always."

Warmth blossomed in the young dragon's chest, which puffed up a little with the praise. "Thanks. I do my best."

For the next few hours, they stayed together, finding solace in each others company. To distract Spike from his lingering guilt, Twilight made the suggestion that he retrieve a comic for them both to read. The photo album lay tucked out of sight under the sofa. She would deal with it later. Excited to share his passion with Twilight while he had her attention, Spike rushed to comply. Racked with indecision over which comic to share this rare moment with, he brought an entire stack instead. The colourful pages were absorbing, Twilight found herself far more engrossed than she had expected to be. Even so, they both worried silently. Neither could predict what was going to happen next, how well Starlight would be able to deal with what had been dredged back to the surface.

Twilight's ears twitched as the faint sound of hooves shuffling in the doorway. She looked up to see Starlight hovering nervously at the edge of the room. Framed in the large doorway, she appeared even smaller and more fragile than she had before. Her mane was brushed to perfection and her face was washed, but the red puffiness in her eyes betrayed her, telling Twilight that she had been crying for most of her absence. Spike noticed Twilight's shift in attention and looked up. With both pairs of eyes now focused on her, Starlight could linger no longer. Slowly, painfully, she walked into the room.

"I...I didn't want to be alone any longer..." she murmured, her admission of weakness causing her to flinch. She had burdened them both with so much already, throughout her entire time spent in the Friendship Castle, and yet she was once again pleading with them for help.

Twilight nodded and patted the space next to her. Taking the invitation, Starlight climbed next to the pair. At least she had the strength to do so unaided this time. She maintained a slight distance, which neither of her friends attempted to breach.

"Did you eat?" Twilight asked, wanting to keep tabs on the mare's health.

Starlight bit her lip, chewing on it several times before finally admitting, "A little... N-not much. Sorry, Spike."

"It's fine," he assured her firmly. "I'll just make some more later if you want it."

Twilight sighed, leaning back a little. It was not ideal but it was about what she would have expected. She did not press the issue at the current moment, there would be time for that if it continued.

Colourful pages caught Starlight's dull eyes, briefly igniting them. She looked at Twilight and the comics several times. The alicorn noticed immediately, chuckling sheepishly as Starlight raised an eyebrow. "Comics? That's unlike you Twilight." She picked one up and idly began to flick through its contents.

Watching her, Spike found an old curiosity burning within him. He hoped to sate it, and simultaneously draw Starlight into the bubble he and Twilight had created. "Can you really read that fast? You and Twilight do the same thing, speed through a book in about a minute. Even the really big ones."

With a shake of her head, Starlight set down the comic. "It isn't really reading." Talking hurt but she found herself wanting to all the same. It kept her memories at bay. "It's skimming at best. Speaking for both of us, as long as we know what we're looking for we can scan a book for keywords and phrases until we find what we're looking for. Then we read that part without having to bother with the rest."

“Oh." Spike looked to Twilight, who confirmed Starlight's explanation with a nod. "That makes more sense.”

"No pony can read that fast..." Starlight continued, her voice strengthening a little as her throat loosened. "Unless there's magic involved. I was just sort of flicking through the pages. Still..." She picked up another comic, the zany costumes worn by the ponies on the cover promised an amusing tale with none of the trappings of reality. "Shall we?"

Spike plucked the flexible book from her grasp, opening it to the front. Starlight let herself sag against the sofa as he read. He provided fun, utterly ridiculous voices for every character. Starlight never made it into a full smile, but by the end of the comic, she felt a little lighter. As the pages came to a close, the lateness of the hour swiftly caught up with the youngest member of the trio. He punctuated the last line with a loud yawn. His eyelids drooped as another yawn forced its way out of his tired body. Twilight gently picked him up in her magic, placing the fading drake onto her back.

“I'll be back shortly. I think it's past Spike's bedtime.”

He grumbled, squirming against Twilight's grip in protest. He sat up on her back, rubbing his eyes in a feeble effort to rouse himself into wakefulness. The attempt proved fruitless and he slumped against Twilight's neck. In a final bid of defiance, he groaned out, "I'm fine. Honestly, I can stay up."

Starlight stood up and walked over to him. She knew what he was trying to do, why he was so defiantly resisting the bed that he refused to leave every morning. With slow, gentle movements, she stroked his head frills. "It's okay Spike..." she soothed, even as her voice cracked slightly. His eyelids drooped lower as her faint touch melded with her lulling whisper. "I'll be okay. Rest up and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for everything."

“Okay...” he mumbled tiredly, all fight washing out of him. Starlight pulled away, allowing Twilight to carry him out of the room.

With both of her companions gone for the moment, Starlight dropped her composure and flopped backwards, sprawling herself across the length of the sofa. Her stomach churned, threatening to dislodge the meagre scraps she had picked at earlier. What was she supposed to do now? What could she do now? Where did this leave her? She could not answer any of it right now. She groaned, pressing her head into the arm of the sofa to muffle the half scream of frustration the sound evolved into.

"I'm back," Twilight announced, closing the door behind her with a soft thud.

Starlight rolled over, expecting Twilight to join her again. She squeaked, scrabbling upright when she realised just how little room she had left for anyone else to actually sit down. "Sorry!"

She waited until Twilight had gotten herself comfortable, then laid herself down in the available space. She wanted as much support as possible, lacking any confidence in her ability to hold herself for much longer. "Is he asleep?"

Twilight made no comment when Starlight's head sagged against her side. She carefully lifted a hoof and began to stroke the back of her student's neck. "Yeah, he went out like a light. He always does when he tries to be stubborn. Thanks for that."

"I...I wasn't going to have him try anything silly..." The lump in Starlight's throat had returned, more intrusive than ever. Talking was no longer a release, it was an effort. Her bottom lip quivered, breaking every breath into a series of stutters."I don't know what to do with all of this...I don't know what I'm going to do..."

Her mournful lament echoed in Twilight's ears. Right now, Starlight was just as lost as she had been during her first night in the castle. Her strong, amazing student had been regressed back into a scared filly and it was up to Twilight set her right once more. "You don't have to know...not tonight," she cooed, continuing to run her hoof along Starlight's neck. "Maybe you should try and get some rest."

She winced when Starlight tensed against her, curling her hooves into her chest. Silently berating herself, Twilight realised she should have expected such a thing. Nightmares were a terrible affliction that she feared would never leave the lilac unicorn. The waking world did not hold a candle to the horrors that could be inflicted when one's inner-self was allowed to run amok.

"I'll stay with you." Twilight's stroking changed to smooth circles at the very base of Starlight's neck so that she did not have to break contact with her student for even an instant. "For as long as it takes."

The calm silence stretched between the two long into the night. Even with Twilight's promise, Starlight's trepidation stayed sleep's gentle embrace. Twilight remained rooted to the spot, maintaining her silent vigil until she felt Starlight slip a little lower against her flank. The unicorn's breathing slowed from ragged, strained whimpers to a slow, rhythmic crawl. When she was absolutely sure that Starlight had dozed off, Twilight carefully draped a light, woollen purple blanket over her sleeping form.

"Sleep well..." she murmured, nuzzling her friend's forehead gently. Then, as quietly as possible, she slipped out of the room. The night would not be wasted, she wanted to be far better prepared by the time Starlight awoke.

Thankfully, she found Starlight to still be fast asleep upon her return. Being absolutely sure not to disturb her, Twilight placed the huge stack of books she had gathered next to the table. It was still littered with Spike's comics, which Twilight found to her delight made excellent bookmarks. Carefully manoeuvring herself back into the same position she had just left, Twilight settled in to toil the night away. Pinkie Pie had stashed quills, ink and parchment all over the castle, in case of checklist emergencies. Dimming the lights to ensure Starlight the best chance of sleeping through until morning, Twilight Sparkle got to work.

Author's Note

And there's the story. Or at least Starlight's side of it. The other side will come later. This is shaping up to be a bit of a doozy and is not going as smoothly as I'd like. If I do anything glaringly wrong, or even just wrong please feel free to tell me. I haven't ever written something like this and I'd rather do it right. Or as right as I can possibly manage.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. More to follow later and more characters will start to get involved. Hope you all have a nice day.

Some Clarity Among Friends.

Starlight's eyes fluttered open as her inner clock gently nudged her into wakefulness. As she was pulled from her dreamless slumber she was greeted by the sight of Twilight laying sprawled across the table, head buried in the pages of an open book. The princess was still fast asleep, cuddling the huge tome she had nodded off into. A weak smile tugged unbidden at Starlight's lips.

Slowly and quietly, so as not to wake Twilight, she slid off the sofa. Once down onto the rug she began to stretch out the tiredness still clinging to her limbs. Satisfied, she then gave herself a gentle shake to loosen off before turning her attention back to the sleeping alicorn. Curiosity compelled her to read some of the titles of the books strewn around Twilight. They all appeared to be law books, long and very boring tomes that only a select few would be interested in. Even Twilight had admitted to finding them tedious one rainy night while they had been looking for material to read. Already knowing what the alicorn was heading towards, Starlight sighed gently.

“Oh Twilight...” she murmured.

She had not wanted this. She had not wanted to cause all this trouble. It was her issue, not Twilight's or anyone else's, to deal with. Shaking her head, she started to quietly tidy up the mess of books Twilight had discarded in heaps all over the floor. Apparently, she could not even do that right as Twilight jerked awake.

“H-huh!” the alicorn moaned sleepily, head still buried in the book. She raised her head and looked around groggily. Seeing Starlight awake, she smiled warmly and closed the book she had been using as a pillow. Returning the gesture with a forced half smile that was all she could manage, Starlight continued her cleaning as she waited on Twilight to speak first.

“Good morning,” Twilight said gently. “Feeling any better?”

“Slightly,” Starlight answered, even though that response was fairly relative. Yes she was better in the physical sense but not so much in any other sense. She could feel the alicorn studying her closely, scanning her up and down for any sign of dishonesty. Apparently, she was somewhat satisfied because she replied with,

“That's good. I'm glad.”

Starlight only nodded, unsure about how to proceed with the conversation. Taking hold of the book Twilight had been using as a pillow, she lifted it up. Levitating the heavy tome in such a way that Twilight could see the title, she waited patiently for an explanation with an arched eyebrow. Seeing what her student wanted, Twilight sighed and gave a sheepish shrug. It would have been preferable to have this conversation a little later in the day, but she had neglected to plan ahead in case she woke behind Starlight.

“Sorry...I had a lot going through my mind and wanted to have a more informed opinion of the whole affair...” Twilight answered simply and honestly.

“I might regret this but what did you find?” Starlight asked, sitting down before her now shaking knees gave way from under her.

“Well... I'm not certain, the law is a multi-layered mess in a lot of places, but I'm pretty sure that what happened was illegal. While it is legal by Equestrian law to remove custody of a foal if a parent is deemed unsuitable you had a solid plan, income, and there was no way they could ascertain your suitability in such a short time. Plus it would also have to go through a court...”

“But because of their class, they were able to bypass all that...” Starlight finished, squeezing her eyes shut. Her jaw was clenched shut as she tried to keep the rising bitterness from surfacing again.

“No,” Twilight said firmly, mulling over her next words. She would have to choose them very carefully. “It doesn't have to be this way... I know it's been a long time but... I'm sure I can find them... if you want me too...”

Those words ignited a multitude of feelings within Starlight. Each one roared like a billowing inferno, trying to fill her up and overpower each other. Hurt, anger, sadness, exhaustion and bitterness all welled up within her in a battle to consume her. Did she want to go down this path? Thankfully, she was saved the trouble of answering by Twilight. Having noticed Starlight's overwhelmingly negative reaction, she continued,

“Or I can leave it lie...but if I do then they'll never understand that what they did was wrong... If you don't want to you don't have to get involved. You can leave it all to me and forget about this...but I think it will be better for you to have some answers. Again...if you really want to leave it be then I will and I'll never open another book on the subject.”

That elicited a choked chuckle from Starlight. The very idea of Twilight Sparkle swearing off opening another book on any subject was comical, despite the weighted situation. The slight merriment helped drain away the surge of negative energy which had flooded her. Even so, the conundrum posed to her was a difficult one. If Twilight was to search on her own, then it would only make keeping herself distant from the past more difficult. However, Twilight was right. If everything was left to lie then a little part of her would always be wondering. She would be unable to fully bury the past without some form of closure. In another ten years, it could resurface and she would look back and regret doing nothing now that the opportunity had arisen.

“I...I think it would be better to know something... but... I'm not sure... What if I do something horrible? ...Like I tried to do before.” she stammered, letting her misgivings be known. Too long had passed between them for her to have any reasonable excuse to hide behind a fake smile. Twilight had shown her many times that it was not the way of friendship.

“I'm sure you won't. You have friends to help you now...” Twilight assured softly. “I want what's best for you, but only you know what that is. Take your time, and when you're ready I'll help you through whatever you decide.”

“Thank you...” Starlight murmured, finding herself once more amazed by Twilight's selflessness.

“You're welcome. Now there's the other problem... How much do you want to tell everyone? They're going to notice that you aren't yourself... and if you do decide to go ahead with finding out more it will be impossible to keep this a secret...”

Starlight sighed heavily. Her friends did deserve to know what was going on. Though once again, she was loathe to burden anyone else with her own woes. Twilight and Spike had been an unfortunate accident outwith her control. To knowingly inflict this upon any group of ponies, particularly those who she owed so much too, the thought made her stomach drop sharply. Reading her student's thoughts from the pained expression on her face, Twilight said gently.

“We're here to help you Starlight... I know you think that you're a burden to us but you aren't. We know you would help us if the need arose and you have. You aren't alone anymore... Remember that.”

Twilight's words rocked Starlight to the core. She knew that the alicorn was right. If her friends ever did find out she was hiding this from them it would only hurt them more. While she was dreading having to retell the story, it would hopefully be easier the second time around. If not then Twilight would help her. That she could be so sure of such a thing made her heart flutter a little, driving away some of the crippling hurt that was coursing through her.

“You're right... I'll... I'll tell them,” she promised, determined even though her voice cracked.

“Good, though first why don't we have breakfast? You told me you didn't eat much last night correct?” Twilight suggested, turning and moving towards the kitchen.

Nodding in confirmation, Starlight started after Twilight. She fell into step with her teacher and immediately felt warm feathers resting over her shoulders. Grateful for the companionship, she sidled a little closer to Twilight. Together they walked towards the well-used kitchen. It was empty, as Spike was still dreaming in his bed. Most likely about the Power Ponies, if his usual mutterings were anything to go by. Starlight was glad that she had been able to convince him to sleep. He took his assistant job seriously, almost to the point of fanaticism and needed all the rest he could get.

“Hmm...so pancakes?” Twilight asked, starting to procure the ingredients from the cupboards. “Something nice and sweet I think. Or would you rather something else?”

“Pancakes are fine,” Starlight replied, igniting her own horn alongside Twilight.

Wrapped in a comfortable silence the duo transformed the bundle of ingredients into a pile of warm sweet pancakes. The menial task allowed Starlight to break away from the grip of her thoughts, at least for a short time. Instead, she focused on going through the motions of making breakfast. She became so enthralled in the task that she was oblivious to Twilight telling her that she was making far too many. By the time the alicorn had been able to push through to her, the surplus amounted to a mountain of pancakes towering above them. A rosy blush formed on Starlight's cheeks and she averted her eyes from the pancake pile casting its shadow over the kitchen.

“Sorry,” she apologised, drawing out the word and trying to compliment it with her most remorseful face.

Merely shaking her head, Twilight extracted what they would need and stored the remainder of the mountain away in the pantry.

“Don't worry about it,” she said with a grin, passing Starlight some syrup. “Pinkie will go through them in record time. She'll probably just view it as a challenge.”

“That just makes me imagine Pinkie and Rainbow having a pancake eating contest,” Starlight mused, allowing the image to form in her mind. It was a rather amusing prospect. “Though I don't think Rainbow would be much competition... No offence but Pinkie's stomach is...”

“Pinkie?” Twilight finished, as Starlight troubled to find a suitable descriptor.

“Yep,” Starlight almost chirped, feeling a momentary lightness before sinking under the weight of her emotions once again. Sighing heavily she looked to Twilight with a half-lidded, dull gaze.

“Sorry... I know you're trying to cheer me up but I just can't...”

“It's fine,” Twilight replied. “It'll take time. It always does when deep wounds like this are reopened. And I won't lie... if you decide you want to try and dig up the past again it will only get harder.”

“I know...”

Seeing that her friend was once more teetering on the brink of tears, Twilight decorated the pancakes with as much syrup and cream as she could feasibly see a pony eating. Then she offered the sugary breakfast to Starlight. With a wordless nod to express her gratitude the mare started to eat. Her motions were slow and heavy, but the food did bring a little spark of life back into her eyes and colour back into her face.

As the sugary rush suffused her, Starlight did start to feel her strength return. The energy contained in the sweet treats started to combat her exhaustion. Suddenly ravenous, she devoured the entire stack of pancakes. When the plate had been polished clean of every crumb to an almost sparkling gleam she turned to Twilight, a newly kindled flame in her sapphire eyes.

“I think it's time I told our friends my most closely guarded secret.”

Despite her newfound courage, more than three hours passed before Starlight was able to rally the strength to face her friends. The meeting was then called by Twilight while Starlight readied herself in the throne room. Spike insisted that Starlight used his throne while he would share Twilight's, rather than standing as she normally would. No amount of protest would sway him, so she took the offer without much fuss.

When Twilight returned with their friends, everyone almost immediately caught on to the sombre mood in the room. Even Rainbow Dash, who would usually make some joking remark about how the meeting was interrupting something, held her tongue.

“Is everything okay?” Fluttershy asked, focusing her attention on Starlight and Spike.

The only response Starlight could give was a weak nod which subconsciously morphed into a shake of the head. Before Fluttershy could say anymore, Spike gently motioned for her to sit. The pegasus complied reluctantly. When everyone was situated, Twilight addressed them.

“Thanks for coming everyone. I'm sorry to call you all here at such short notice but Starlight has something that she needs to say... It's not going to be easy on her so please keep all comments until after she is finished.”

“We will,” Rarity promised softly, speaking on behalf of everyone.

Twilight fell silent after that, leaving all attention firmly on Starlight. The unicorn felt herself wilt under the intense gazes being directed at her. Some gentle encouragement from Twilight once again gave her the push she needed. Taking a long, slow, deep breath to steady herself, she started to speak.

The story was just as painful to tell as it had been the first time, if not more so now that the memories were raw and fresh. At three points Twilight had to take over to allow Starlight to compose herself. Aided by Spike, she also made sure that there were absolutely no interruptions- though they need not have. No one made a sound, keeping perfectly quiet and patient for Starlight's sake. For the young dragon, hearing the full story for the first time caused anger to settle in his gut and bile to rise in his throat. To watch Starlight struggle through the story, he could scarcely imagine just how painful the actual events had been... Only Twilight holding him to her chest and enveloping him with her calming presence prevented him from breaking his own vow of silence.

Finally, Starlight was finished and able to fall silent. As she sat quietly, waiting for their incoming reactions she studied their faces. Stunned speechlessness was mixed with horror, disgust and also overwhelming sympathy. Fluttershy was the first to move, while the others still tried to find their voices. Needing no words the pegasus quietly came around to Starlight and wrapped her hooves around the mare's trembling shoulders. Pinkie Pie was quick to follow Fluttershy's example. Starlight returned both gestures, ignoring the tears stinging her eyes. As both mares continued their display of affection she fixed her gaze on the remaining three ponies. Rainbow Dash was the first to open her mouth.

Slamming her hoof into the table, the blue pegasus growled. “It's a good thing you erased their names because it wouldn't be you that they'd need to be worried about.”

Applejack had to leap into action to prevent Rainbow from launching herself out of her seat. Grabbing a hold of the multicoloured tail, she held on with all her might. The pegasus struggled for a moment before relenting and floating back down into the throne. Satisfied that the speedster would not do anything rash, she let go and spoke up.

“We can't just go about this bursting in with hooves kicking. All that'll do is get somepony hurt and there's enough of that been thrown around already. We'll help you however we can Starlight, I'll make a promise to that.”

“It's appalling,” Rarity was finally able to force out. “To think that ponies would treat you like that... I am so sorry you had to go through that darling... If there's anything we can do, just ask.”

“Thanks...” Starlight replied, giving Rarity and Applejack each a nod of gratitude. To Rainbow Dash and Applejack she said. “I've learned that revenge only spirals out of control. I let myself become wrapped up in my thirst for it and destroyed Equestria seven times over... It is not something you want to let get a hold of you...”

“Yeah, you're right...” Rainbow admitted, deflating and flopping down onto the table. Fluttershy moved around the gathering of ponies and gently started to stroke her oldest friend's back comfortingly.

“Have you thought about what you want to do?” Rarity asked, breaking another heavy moment of silence. “You did mention that Twilight suggested you try to find them.”

“She did,” Starlight muttered, casting a sideways glance at the alicorn.Turning her attention back to Rarity and the others, she voiced her insecurities on the subject. “However, I'm not all that sure I'd be able to handle it... I get that they shouldn't be allowed to just get away with it...but it's been eleven years. The foal has grown up not knowing me, and might really be better off... I don't see how dragging it all up again would help...”

“Well, it would help you,” Pinkie put forward, gently pressing her head under Starlight's chin and nuzzling her. “I mean if you just leave yourself wondering then this will just come back up again. Isn't it better to deal with it now and then leave it lie for good knowing that everything is okay?”

“That's true...”

She had already had those exact thoughts, but hearing Pinkie Pie put it that way made the decision a little easier. There would be no need to stir old wounds if she did not have to. As long as everything was good and well than that would be that. She could just put the past behind her knowing that it had all worked out for the best. All doubts that had been tearing at her for eleven years would be dispelled. Perhaps it was selfish of her, but she knew that it was the only way. She had to know that everything was going fine. She also felt duty bound to prevent this from ever happening again. The choice had been obvious all along, it just took seven friends to help her realise that. Hiding from her past was no longer an option.

“Let's see what we can do...” she said eventually when she had suitably gathered her thoughts enough to finalise her decision. The next part she said with such conviction that Twilight was convinced not even Discord would challenge her. “But we have to be discreet, careful and proper. This can't be just a revenge mission... I refuse to ever let myself or anyone else go down that path again.”

“Got it,” Rainbow replied firmly, trying to make amends for her earlier outburst. Twilight meanwhile was swelling with pride at just how much Starlight had learned in her short time with them. Her past mistakes were gradually becoming a strength, rather than the heavy iron shackles they had been before.

Starlight nodded, before finding herself at a loss for what to say next. A weight that she had carried for eleven years felt alleviated. Now she felt a lot more confident about the days to come, all thanks to her amazing friends. It also turned out that they knew the perfect thing to say next.

“So, now that that's over,” Pinkie said, a grin spreading over her face. That was just about enough sadness for one day in her opinion. Now that everything was out in the open, it was time for her to dissolve the tension in the air and make everyone a little happier. Pinkie Pie style!

“How about we throw cupcakes at Starlight again!”

For three full seconds the lilac unicorn could only blink, her jaw hanging open. Twilight, Rarity and Applejack all looked ready to berate the bubbly earth pony. Then Starlight began to laugh. It was an almost maniacal laughter, born from her body's need to just release all the pent up negativity as something positive. Several minutes passed before she was able to resurface. Still gasping for air, she coughed out,

“Last one to hit Pinkie Pie has to clean the castle afterwards!"

So saying, she materialised a large pink fluffy pillow in a flash of her magic. Seeing the imminent soft, plush assault she was about to receive Pinkie raced off, giggling. Only a moment later the pillow thudded against the door frame. Everyone took their cue and started to scramble to the bedrooms to load up on ammunition. Twilight followed Starlight's example and conjured up three plump pillows to chase down her eccentric friend with. Taking a moment to survey the chaos she had initiated, Starlight broke out into a warm smile. She would not trade these friends for anything else in the world. No matter how difficult the next few days would be, everything would be fine.

Author's Note

And that's chapter 3 where all plans are laid out. Whether everything will work out that way...well I won't tell you but this is a fanfiction so we'll see. Sorry for the wait and thank you all for being patient. This was a bit of an odd chapter to write. I apologise if the ending seems a bit abrupt but it felt appropriate. Sometimes all it takes is someone to just say one thing and the world feels right for a bit.

Anyway before I start waxing philosophical on you all, thank you for reading. I hope you all enjoy. Like always if you have any criticisms feel free to leave them in the comments. Have a nice day!

Complicated Progress.

Following the levity of their impromptu pillow fight, the group found themselves in the main sitting room. In the end only Rainbow Dash, Starlight and Applejack had managed to land a pillow successfully. Thus they had decided that it should fall to all of them to clean up the mess. Which really meant that the two mages of the group whisked away the remnants of their epic battle with a simple spell. Twilight was currently enunciating a letter for Spike to draft up. It was addressed to the Hall of Records in Canterlot, requesting an appointment at their soonest possible convenience.

With the letter now sent the group were discussing how to proceed. Applejack and Twilight were trying to carefully break down some of the barrier's that Starlight had erected in her memories. However, the unicorn's enchantments were proving stubborn to their gentle prodding.

“C'mon sugarcube... I know it's hard but just think back okay. Do you remember anything about the foal... anything at all?”

Closing her eyes, Starlight tried to journey back into her past. However, no amount of concentration would lift the fog surrounding the memory. Groaning, she flopped down on the couch and rested her chin on the arm. Draping her forehoof down onto the floor she sighed heavily,

“No... No matter how hard I try nothing comes. Nothing new anyway... all I see is fog... I can't even remember if it was a filly or a colt.”

“Are you sure you didn't block the memories out like you did the other details?” Twilight asked. “Magically I mean.”

“I don't think so...” Starlight muttered in response. “I may have... but I don't remember doing it. All I wanted to block out was the name of the father. Nothing more...”

“Maybe it wasn't a spell...” Fluttershy piped up softly, raising her head from the book she was poring through. “Maybe you just don't want to remember. Umm, subconsciously I mean. Like how sometimes ponies don't remember accidents very well because their mind just blocks it out.”

“That might be it,” Twilight reasoned, but Starlight had her doubts.

“If it was something as simple as that then I wouldn't remember the other stuff so clearly. It seems very unlikely that of all the things to be fuzzy, it's the one thing we need...”

“Actually it could be nothing more than that,” Applejack said, a realisation dawning on her. “You don't remember erasing your memory because you didn't mean to. I'm guessing that when all this happened you were probably in an even worse state than you are now, correct?”

“Yeah, that's... sorta... putting it mildly,” Starlight answered, narrowing her eyes and fixing the wall with a deadpan expression.

“Okay, well what if your magic just started deleting things you didn't ask it to, but deep down in your heart you wanted it to...”

“Could that happen?” Fluttershy asked, having now fully joined the conversation.

“Easily,” Twilight sighed, rubbing her temples with her hooves. “In such an emotional state magic can go very awry... I'm loathe to try and magically undo the spells, both because of the length of time since their cast and the circumstances and conditions they were cast under.”

“Well if that's the case then I've just caused another complication,” Starlight muttered darkly under her breath. This theory made a little more sense, though again it seemed incredibly coincidental. Maybe this was karma for dooming an entire country seven times over.

“What was that?” Twilight asked, noticing the unicorn's mouth moving but not hearing any audible words.

“N-nothing,” Starlight answered immediately, sitting up and shaking her head. “Just getting frustrated is all. Sorry... I want to be able to do this but I just don't know how. Everything we need to know is hidden from me... It just seems like this is fated to be difficult.”

“It's alright, we'll think of something,” Fluttershy said kindly, smiling reassuringly.

“What if Princess Luna was able to help Starlight sift through her memories in a dream?” Rarity suggested.

“That would require me to dream about those memories would it not?” Starlight countered. “And I'm not so sure I really want a pony running through those dreams... Even if it is Princess Luna...”

“Yes that is fair enough I suppose,” Rarity replied. “Sorry, I'm just throwing out suggestions here honestly.”

“It's fine,” Starlight said with a weary sigh. “If needed we can use it as a last resort. Another thing is... I... I don't want too many ponies to be inconvenienced by this. It's my problem and having everypony running around worried just does not sit well with me. It was an accident that it came out in the first place. However, since it did I'm almost certain that I couldn't convince any of you that I'll be fine so I just...haven't bothered.”

Everyone just flashed her a knowing grin, causing Starlight to roll her eyes slightly. Of course not, they would help her to the end. Though she would always feel guilty about involving them, part of her knew it was for the best. Even so, involving ponies unnecessarily would make her uneasy. Princess Luna she had only spoken to on a few occasions and while they had all been cordial, the night princess had a country to help rule.

Yesterday, when she had been alone in her room it had occurred to her to write letters to Sunburst and Trixie. Neither letter had made it to the page. Trixie, like her was new to the realm of friendship and had her own life. Once again they had also only spoken on a few occasions, due to the nature of Trixie's nomadic lifestyle. Sunburst was...a more difficult case for her. The story was much more personal to him, as he had been the catalyst to the whole event. To burden him with that after being apart for so long...was not something she was willing to do unless it was absolutely necessary.

“Maybe we should just wait until Twilight gets an answer from that Records place,” Rainbow cut in, lobbing a cushion at the unicorn that she had been using to lay on. “It'd be a whole lot easier than flailing around in the dark.”

Yanked from her thoughts, Starlight caught the cushion lazily in her magic before answering, “Sitting around and waiting isn't really my style. But neither is just, as you put it, flailing around in the dark.”

Twilight had tuned out of the conversation to focus her thoughts. There had to be some way to break through without harming anyone. It would be possible for her or Starlight to try and remove the spells forcefully but there was no knowing how much damage that could cause. Magic like this was unpredictable and dangerous to tamper with. Tampering with a pony's mind was always dangerous. The methods Starlight had employed to remove her memories had good intentions but were overly drastic. They would have to be as delicate as possible, making sure to try every method before moving onto anything more risky. Thankfully the vast library of knowledge she had stored within her own memory rushed to her aid here.

“Actually Rarity's idea just gave me an idea... We could try to guide your thinking. It's sort of like hypnosis but a little more potent. The technical term for it is Dream Sharing. It allows a pony to enter another's mental world. While in there I could help you remember or at least determine whether it would be safe to remove your old spells magically. Have you heard of it before?”

“I think I came across it when I was searching for a way to deal with my nightmares but as it required two ponies I barely paid it much mind. Will it still work through the magic I placed?” Starlight replied.

Twilight gave a shrug and admitted, “I'm not sure really. My theory is that with me in the memory with you I might be able to see what you cannot. If the spells are specific only to you then it should work.”

“Isn't that just the same as Luna walking through her dreams though? Starlight already mentioned that the idea did not appeal to her.” Applejack asked, an expression of concern clear on her face. She looked towards Starlight, who was contemplating the idea.

It was true, the idea of having a pony in her dreams, even as a sort of observer still made her anxious. However, she trusted these ponies, explicitly. They had given her no reason not to. Steeling herself, she said confidently,

“I'll be fine. Let's give it a shot.”

“Hmm...okay let me go get some tutorial books on the subject. I've never actually cast the spell myself, aside from one rather abysmal attempt on Cadance when I was much younger.”

With a pop and a flash of magenta Twilight winked out of existence. Somewhere else in the castle, the library to be exact, she reappeared and began to search out any helpful books. Just as it had done last night, the exercise helped to calm the turmoil of emotions still coursing through her. Such tragic events had occurred in the city she had grown up in. When Starlight was having the worst moment in her entire life Twilight had probably been nose deep in a book. The thought made her stomach churn. In a twisted way, she felt guilty. Whether it was rational to feel that way or not, she could not shake the feeling that she should have done something. Maybe if a studious young unicorn had researched how corrupt the class system was it could have been abolished, but instead she'd been more focused on her magical studies.

Gritting her teeth, Twilight fought to hold herself in. She had to maintain her composure, for everyone's sake. It was the way a princess should act, put others needs before her own. Princess Celestia had been able to do that for over a thousand years. Right now Starlight needed her strong and calm, not weak and conflicted. Her own feelings would just have to wait.

Spike settled down on the sofa next to Starlight. She flashed him a weary smile, which he returned. He knew this was already difficult and a part of him knew it was only going to get worse, for all of them. Things always did with this group. It was inevitable. No matter how difficult things got though, the friends always prevailed. Sometimes the young dragon just wished things would go a little easier for them once in a while.

After thinning the collection of books to a more manageable level Twilight made her way back to the sitting room. A quick detour to the bathroom allowed her to wash her face and refresh herself. The cool water splashing against her cheeks had helped wash away the burning gritty feeling that had welled up in her eyes. Satisfied that she was presentable, she exited the bathroom and continued on her way. Once her friends were in sight she announced herself.

“I picked out a few books that should hopefully teach us all we need to know about Dream Sharing,” she said, glad that her voice was able to remain steady despite her earlier burst of emotion.

“That's a few?” Rainbow asked, raising an eyebrow and staring at the collection of books in disbelief.

“Compared to a whole library, yes,” Twilight shot back, glad that her inner turmoil had dampened significantly. She could still feel it simmering away inside her, but at this level it could be easily suppressed.

“I wouldn't put it past you to bring a whole library with you,” Rainbow retorted quickly.

“Well she doesn't really have to, since the library is already in the castle. She would have to move the castle and that would just move all of us with it, meaning that no progress would be gained,” interjected Pinkie Pie, effectively halting the verbal scuffle.

“Yes, well...anyway I've read most of these already so we should be able to get started and just use the books for help if we need it,” Twilight suggested, skimming through one of the guides.

Starlight had already grabbed another of the books and begun to flick through in a similar fashion to Twilight. “So... what do you need me to do?” she asked, quickly stopping to absorb an interesting paragraph while she waited on the answer.

“Just lay down and relax. You need to let your subconscious do all the work.” Twilight replied, gently teasing the book from Starlight's magical grasp. The unicorn mare rolled her eyes but did not resist.

“Fine, I'll try but I'm not exactly the relaxing type. Even in the spa.”

“We know,” Applejack chuckled good-naturedly. “You could give Rainbow Dash a run for her money.”

Twilight chuckled at this. “Yes, well it will be better if you can relax on your own but if need be I can probably cast a calming spell.”

“Okay, got it,” Starlight said, bobbing her head. She laid down on the sofa, resting her head on one of the arms. Spike hopped off to give her more room. Even stretched out across the comfortable sofa as she was, there was still a rigid readiness to her posture. Closing her eyes she tried to let go of her tension. It was much more difficult than she had imagined.

“Try taking some deep breaths,” Rarity offered gently. “Just forget we're here...”

Starlight slowed her breathing and took the alabaster unicorn's advice. With the world shrouded in darkness, every sound her friends made crashed across her ears. They twitched at every small movement, and soon her brow began to furrow. Letting out a frustrated groan, Starlight sat upright and the stillness of the room was shattered.

“Not able to relax?” Spike asked, even though the answer was obvious.

“No... I can't. When I try to still myself my whole body feels like it's on fire and just has to move,” Starlight said, glaring down at her hooves. “Sorry.”

“It's okay,” Fluttershy said softly. “Relaxing isn't easy when you know you have to...”

“It's also probably not easy with all of us here,” Spike pointed out. “If we're all crowding around her then it's just going to make the whole thing harder.”

“The book does suggest a quiet room, with as few distractions as possible.” Twilight read. “It might be better if one or two of us tried the process in your room. That way you'll be a lot more comfortable and there should be less distractions.

“Okay,” Starlight nodded, bringing her hoof to her chest nervously. Hopefully it would work this time, because if it did not then all fault would be on her.

“I'll come too,” volunteered Rarity. “I've picked up more than a few relaxation tips from Aloe and Lotus over the years.”

“That settles it then,” Applejack nodded. “We'll stay here and leave you to it.”

Starlight hopped off the sofa, wishing her heart would beat a little slower. This could finally provide the answers she had been hiding from herself for over a decade, if she was able to do it. Shaking her head she started to make her way towards her room. Both Rarity and Twilight followed her, but not before giving each other a worried look. This was going to be difficult.

The door to Starlight's room closed behind them with a heavy thump. Some of Starlight's trepidation left her in the familiar surroundings, though not much. Laying down on the bed, she tried to get herself as comfortable as possible. Twilight settled down on the side closest to the door, while Rarity sat down on the lilac mare's other side.

“Okay, now just get comfortable,” Twilight instructed gently, keeping her voice soft and soothing. “When you're ready I'll cast the spell. If you want me to stop at any point then just say so. You'll be in control, I'm just the guide.”

Starlight gave a small nod before inhaling and exhaling deeply. As the whoosh of air left her lungs she felt her body sink into the softness of her bed. Rarity took over at this point, helping her to find a rhythm to her breathing.

“Breathe in, and breathe out,” Rarity said, her tone similar to Twilight's. “Just let everything go... Breathe in, and breathe out...”

Following the fashionista's detailed instructions made Starlight's second attempt at relaxation much more successful than her first. Soon she was completely at ease, all fears having completely vanished in that moment. Something about Rarity's gentle voice was so calming that she could not help herself. It filled her ears, washing over her like a delicate sea breeze. Satisfied with the atmosphere in the room, Twilight took over again.

“I'm going to cast the spell now... Are you ready?”

“Yes,” came the murmured response. “Go for it.”

Channeling her magic, Twilight cast the spell. It was not a particularly difficult spell, but was not one she had had reason to practice. A thin tether of purple light sprouted from her horn and slowly wrapped around Starlight's head. When the loop was completed, the spell began.

“Okay, the first part of spell's complete Starlight. In your own time, tell me what you see.”

“I'm in my room, standing up I think. I'm alone from what I can see,” Starlight responded.

“Okay, thank you. Hold there for a second. I need to perform the next part of the spell. You won't feel anything, but I should be appearing next to you in your dream. I'll be able to see what you see, but if there's anything you think about and don't want me to see, imagine it behind a locked door. I won't open anything without your permission.”

Starlight allowed her inner self to sit, unsure of how long the next process was going to take. Twilight closed her eyes and focused, projecting her inner self outwards. While Starlight felt nothing, Twilight experienced a slight tugging all over her body. The sensation was uncomfortable in the second that it endured. As quickly as it had come, the feeling was gone and Twilight's inner self popped into existence next to Starlight's.

“Hey,” Twilight grinned, her mental avatar smiling happily at the success of her spell.

Starlight jumped inwardly, though none of the startled reaction was emulated by her physical body. Narrowing her eyes, she looked the Twilight that had appeared before her up and down. Twilight bore the scrutiny with the same pleased grin on her face.

“This is a little weird. You being in my head is something that a few months ago would have sent me flying into a rage... Now I'm...strangely comfortable with it,” Starlight chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with her hoof as she spoke.

Twilight giggled lightly. “Well I'm glad. We can discuss all that later though, we are here for a reason are we not?”

“Yes,” Starlight nodded, her face hardening with determination. “So... what do you need me to do?”

“Just, guide me through. Unlike Princess Luna I can't manipulate your dreams for you. I can help you when we're there, but you need to get us there.”

“Got it,” Starlight nodded, striding forward purposefully. Focusing her mind, she cast herself back eleven years ago, to that day. Her room door began to glow a muted shade of blue. Raising her hoof, Starlight pushed it open. Still focused on her desired destination, she motioned for Twilight to follow her then stepped into the blinding light behind the door. For a moment, Twilight watched her friend be swallowed by the intense light, before following her through.

When the light faded the pair were standing in a hospital room, observers to events that were all too familiar to Starlight. A much younger version of the young unicorn was laying on the bed, surrounded by nurses. Glowing vibrant red blotches soon marred Starlight's cheeks and she instantly fashioned a plain black door directly in front of Twilight's face. Confused the alicorn turned to her pupil with a quizzical look.

“Sorry... we arrived a bit too early... I'll open the door when it's done.”

“Oh, okay,” Twilight replied easily, needing no more explanation than that.

Returning her attention to the scene at hand Starlight sighed,

“Reliving it like this just makes the whole thing seem so distant... Like it never really happened. Even though I know it did.”

“It'll get better,” Twilight promised. “You'll work through it. I know you will.”

“Maybe, I just hope this gives the answers we need...”

Twilight extended one of her wings and laid it heavily across Starlight's back. The pressure on her inner self generated a comforting warmth on her outer body, quelling her doubts. “It will.”

“I'm sure it will be fine darling,” Rarity's voice said from behind the pair.

Both purple mages whirled around, coming within an inch of bumping heads. Rarity gave them a wave.

“So sorry if I'm intruding. I was just checking to see if Twilight was alright since she hadn't spoken in a while but I seem to have ended up here. I'm not quite sure how to leave either.”

Twilight blushed a similar colour to Starlight's previous episode of embarrassment. “Oops. My mistake. I forgot to mention that any physical contact will pull ponies into the link with me. You'll be pulled out with me once I leave. Sorry about that.”

“It's fine. I can stay back here if you wish dear. I know this is a rather private memory.”

“No, you can stay. You're one of my friends too,” Starlight said gently. Before Rarity could object she was enveloped in a teal aura and tugged over to the pair. “We're coming up to the important part anyway. I'll get rid of your door Twilight.”

The door in front of Twilight vanished, allowing everyone to see the scene unfold before them. The younger Starlight looked utterly exhausted but a triumphant smile touched her lips. Nestled in her hooves was a small newborn foal, or at least that's what they assumed it was. The shape was almost formless, only recognisable as a foal due to the size, proportion and context. Disappointment settled over the three, the magical barriers had persisted.

“Can you see anything?” Starlight asked, even though she already knew the answer.

“No... sorry,” Twilight sighed, while Rarity just shook her head. The alicorn sighed and squinted her eyes, trying desperately to see something, anything, beyond the blur.

“This is not going to be for nothing,” Starlight snorted, stalking forwards. Sparks of arcane energy leapt from her horn. Before either of her friends knew what was happening, Starlight had unleashed her spell. In an instant, the room was flooded with light blue light. It was a spell of purging. Her old magical abilities were no match for those honed by over a decade of bitterness and anger.

“Starlight!” was all Twilight was able to cry out as she was engulfed in the light.

For several seconds the light persisted, obscuring the memory from view. When the burning glow faded, the room was as it had been. None of the figures in the memory reacted to the intense magical release.

“Starlight!” Twilight called again, her expression a mask of worried fury. “What were you thinking?! Do you know how dangerous that was?”

“Uh, y-yes,” Starlight murmured, backing away timidly. Swallowing to try and steady her nerves, “I do, but I also know that I wasn't willing to have you all go through this effort for nothing. I'll be fine...”

“You don't know that!” Twilight pressed, pushing herself right up into Starlight's personal space.

Seeing Starlight's body tense, Rarity sensed an argument brewing. Not wanting the situation to escalate any more than it already had, the alabaster unicorn cleared her throat. It was time to try and act as a peacemaker.

“Um, darlings. I don't mean to interrupt again but I don't think this is the best time to be arguing. If Starlight took such a risk then we should at least see what the result is. Or it will all be for nothing.”

Twilight deflated slightly and averted her eyes. “I still don't like this, but Rarity's right.”

Starlight nodded slightly, her cheeks burning. Even though she had been well and truly ready to fight Twilight she knew deep down that the alicorn was right. The spell had been reckless and stupid. Something she seemed to excel at, being ridiculously impulsive. Pushing those thoughts aside, she turned back to the memory.

While the foal was still obscured as if being viewed through a film of tears, the fog was less dense than before. There was no colour, but the outline of what was nestled in the younger Starlight's arms slowly came into focus. A small pair of wings could be seen fluttering gently at the foal's flanks. Something inside Starlight clicked, and she instinctively knew that she was looking at a young filly. Overwhelmed by the flood of knowledge she snapped awake, holding her scorching head.

Beside her, Twilight and Rarity came back to themselves as well. The tether had been broken as Starlight's sudden recall had snapped her into alertness. The sharp jump back to reality had caused both Rarity and Twilight to end up sprawled on the ground.

“Sorry about that,” Starlight apologised, cracking one eye open to look at them through the throbbing in her head. “I couldn't help myself.”

“It's fine,” Twilight said, standing up and dusting herself off. “I sort of guessed that the exit would be a little bumpy under most circumstances. It seemed to work though after you pulled that reckless stunt.”

Hearing the heated concern in Twilight's voice, Starlight sighed. “Sorry... I just... couldn't let your effort go to waste.”

“There were better ways to go about doing that... There's no telling what the damage will be... I'll need to monitor you closely for a while...” Twilight said loudly. Reaching out with a hoof she gently placed it on Starlight's shoulder. In a softer tone, she continued. “I know that you feel guilty we're doing all this for you but we're doing it because we want to... You're our friend. We want to help you. There's no need to worry yourself. It wasn't your fault that this came up, it just happened.”

“I know... It just seems like my past is always coming to bite me and you're all always helping me with it... I need to be able to stand on my own hooves.”

“You are standing on your own hooves,” Rarity assured her. “You befriended Trixie all by yourself, you made amends with Sunburst and helped save the Crystal Empire. There's a lot of things you can do on your own, and a lot of things you have done on your own. Your past is just more troubled than most ponies...but once you're able to put it all behind you it will make you stronger. We all need help sometimes you know. You may feel like you're getting a disproportionate amount of help, but everyone goes through that from time to time. It's nothing to worry about dear, trust me.”

As the headache started to fade, Starlight flashed the pair the same goofy knowing grin they had all given her earlier. Rarity was right, and so was Twilight. Friends were supposed to help each other through the good and the bad. This was just her bad part. Silently, she made a promise to herself. Whenever any of her friends went through a rough patch, she would help them through with every ounce of her power. Just as they were doing for her right now.

“Thanks... That means a lot.”

Twilight nodded and gave the older mare a quick hug. “So... do you want to go tell the others what we found or do you want to lay down for a bit?”

“Let's go tell them. I'll be fine. The headache's going away a little. I think the rush of memories was just a little much... I still don't remember everything...but it's a start.”

Slipping off the bed, Starlight made her way towards the door. Twilight and Rarity followed behind, both watching her closely. Twilight's thoughts began to wander. Starlight's guilt had pushed her to recklessness. Both teacher and pupil felt guilty, for differing though related reasons. Part of her wondered whether an open discussion would help them come to terms with it, or whether it would drive Starlight to even more drastic measures. For now, she would keep her feelings hidden from the unicorn. Hopefully, that would allow her a little more time to decide.

Author's Note

Okay so now everyone has a few more answers, though a few more problems have surfaced. Twilight's feeling irrationally guilty. I'll admit that was something that came to me out of the blue but it did make sense. Twilight feeling like she has to be perfect just because she's a princess is something the show has dealt with but let's see if I can take a crack at it.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy. This chapter had a lot of revisions but I think it turned out for the best. Tell me what you think, all comments and constructive criticisms are welcome. Have a nice day.

Moving Forward.

“So, your foal is a pegasus?” Rainbow asked, bringing her hooves to her face in excitement. When Starlight nodded her grin became as wide as her face. “That's awesome!”

“It narrows it down at least,” Starlight replied, though she could not share Rainbow's enthusiasm. She could feel Twilight's gaze boring into her, as if the alicorn expected her to keel over at any moment. Twilight had also been...unusually quiet, only making the unicorn feel worse. This was her fault.

“While I do agree that it narrows things down,” Applejack said with a heavy sigh. “It doesn't really help us in the meantime. We still gotta wait for Canterlot Records to get back to us.” Looking directly at Starlight she added. “I'm sorry sugarcube. I was hoping this would be a bit for fruitful for ya.”

“It's alright Applejack,” Starlight replied, putting a small smile on her face to placate the farm pony. “It's...better than nothing and more than was reasonable to expect. I'm just grateful for you all being here.”

“Of course we're all here!” Pinkie Pie yelled. “What sort of friends would we be if we weren't?” The party mare chuckled and waved a hoof. “Plus, the more help we give the quicker this is all over. Right?” she asked, drawing out the last word so much that Starlight wondered why she was not turning the colour of a blueberry. Then she realised just who she was wondering about.

“Yes, the sooner I can put this behind me the better,” Starlight agreed.

“Yes quite darling,” Rarity said daintily. As one of the three privy to the exact events leading up to this discussion, she had her own reservations. Perhaps convincing Starlight that closure would be good for her had been premature. After all the mare was still wrestling with her own inner demons. However, there was no room for going back on their words now. They would simply have to make do with the cards they had been dealt.

“So, umm... do we have any other ideas?” Fluttershy asked. “Or do we just wait for a response from Canterlot Records?”

Twilight flicked her ears. She had considered this carefully. Getting this over quickly would be beneficial but rushing would only end in ill. Today had opened her eyes to just how deep some scars could run. Starlight's reckless behaviour had shown her that. As she was about to voice her answer to Fluttershy's question, she was interrupted by a loud yawn.

Spike, despite his best efforts, was waging a losing war against the grip of sleep once again. Unbeknownst to them all, night had long since fallen. Enveloping Spike in her magic, Twilight carefully levitated the young dragon onto her back.

“I think...we should wait to answer that question tomorrow. It's been a long day, for all of us.”

“That's true. Now that Spike's started he's got me...” Applejack yawned, as if her body was proving her point. “Going... Night ya'll.”

“Bye everyone,” Fluttershy whispered, giving a quiet wave before following Applejack out. Rainbow was close behind the pair, after saying her own farewell. Only after she had hugged Starlight thoroughly did Pinkie Pie depart, leaving the lilac unicorn with a warmth burning in her heart. Soon the only pony in the castle who did not call it home was Rarity. Smiling warmly she said,

“I'll help you tuck poor Spikey Wikey in. This really has been a tough day for him.”

Twilight was about to protest, it was hardly necessary after all, but the small noise of elation Spike produced stopped her. It would make him so happy. She always enjoyed seeing him happy. At times she admitted she could be somewhat oblivious but she always wanted what was best for him. Deciding to let her number one assistant have his moment, she agreed.

“Okay then. Let's go.”

While Rarity was giving Spike her own brand of special attention, Twilight gave Starlight a small nudge. The lilac unicorn turned and faced her mentor with a quizzical stare. Smiling knowingly, Twilight asked,

“You know why she stayed behind don't you?”

“Hmm? Oh... yeah, I do,” Starlight replied. Turning back to the adorable scene, she focused her gaze on Rarity. As much as Rarity adored Spike, everyone involved knew her motives for staying behind.

“She really didn't have to,” Starlight added under her breath, pushing back a yawn. “I mean...it's not like we would get into an argument heated enough to destroy the castle... I think both of us would do better in an empty room for that.

Twilight snorted at that, the sound emerging before she could suppress it. “Well, yes that is true. Which does remind me, have you heard what Spike has been calling us? The Mistresses of the Freakout I think it is.”

It took everything Starlight had to not keel over, howling with laughter. Despite her best efforts, a continuous stream of small snickers overtook her. Beside her, Twilight continued to giggle softly. Only when her sides felt ready to split did Starlight surface.

“Well...” she wheezed, still making an effort to be quiet. “He...isn't exactly wrong.”

“No I suppose not,” Twilight said thoughtfully, only to be interrupted from any further speech by Rarity.

“Okay, he's asleep and dreaming away.” the alabaster mare stated, idly running a hoof through her mane. Definitely needed a wash before she retired. Despite her best efforts a day with Pinkie Pie left it somewhat...uncharacteristically messy.

“Thanks Rarity,” Twilight replied gratefully. “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime darling,” came the reply. “Now, I do have to get back to the Boutique for some beauty sleep but is there anything else before I go?”

“We'll be fine,” Starlight answered, having finally gotten herself under control. “I umm...” she started, before descending into a mess of half words and stuttered noises. How did one convince their friend that they and another friend were not going to have a fight that would tear down the walls around them?

Thankfully, Twilight took over. “I apologise if my outburst earlier made you worry. We should be fine...Thank you.”

“Oh darling I'm not worried about that,” Rarity soothed, a ladylike laugh accompanying her words. “I just, how do I put it, want to offer my support. It is no secret to us that you are both a little...prone to stress.”

Both mares had to roll their eyes at that. This was after all coming from the mare who had a fainting couch on hand and could go from zero to excited screaming in half a syllable. Nevertheless, she did have a point.

“We know,” Twilight said gently. “I will admit that I am not handling this situation as well as I could be but,” she thought back to her breakdown in the library. Not wanting her friend to worry more, she forced a smile on her face. “I'll be fine. Honestly.”

Nodding, Rarity said gently. “Okay, if you're sure, but I simply insist that you both accompany me to the spa tomorrow. The others can come as well of course but I simply will not take no for an answer where you both are concerned.”

Completely taken off guard, both mages could only stare dumbfounded at their friend. Taking their silence as agreement, or at least acceptance, Rarity smiled.

“Now, I shall leave you both to rest. Goodbye darlings. Do not worry about escorting me out, I know the way.”

With a friendly wave of farewell, Rarity made to leave. Shaking herself out of the stunned stupor Rarity had struck her with, Twilight cleared her throat.

“Thank you again Rarity. We'll see you tomorrow.”

“You'll thank me for it,” the fashionista assured them, turning and making her way towards the exit of the castle. Once they were alone, Twilight turned to Starlight.

“We should probably turn in. Are you sure you're okay? No headaches, dizziness?” Twilight asked, reaching up and gently touching a hoof to Starlight's forehead.

“Nope,” Starlight replied, gently pushing Twilight's hoof back down to earth. As she moved towards her room she added, “I'm fine. You don't need to worry.”

“I know,” Twilight sighed. “I just... don't want to see you hurt.” Falling in step with her student, she accompanied Starlight to the room she had picked out all those months ago. Starlight recalled the day well. She had been tired, alone scared and confused when Twilight had opened her home to her. Now those same feelings simmered within her once more. However, this time she was not alone. They were in this together, and that meant this went both ways. Sucking in a breath, and a good dose of courage, Starlight shot the same question back at Twilight.

“What about you? How are you doing?”

Suddenly flustered, the princess fumbled over her words. It should have been so easy to just pretend she was fine, but something about Starlight's eyes unnerved her. They were probing and all too knowing. After a pause that was all too long, she was finally able to gather enough composure to speak calmly. “What? Me? Oh yes. I'm perfectly fine thank you, just a little tired” she said, before trying a fake yawn which finished with a smile that was all to wide.

Watching the pitiful attempt at lying, Starlight just sighed. While her social skills were still lacking, Twilight had forgotten who the master manipulator between them was. When she was done with her teacher's fumbling, Starlight just fixed her with a deadpan stare. The effect was immediate, and Twilight fell silent.

Easing her expression, Starlight rested a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. The urge to press and twist until she knew everything wormed away at her. While she was certain that her old ways be used to worm her way into Twilight's head, she refrained. Honeyed words and false promises were not her ally here, patience was.

“Twilight...I'm sorry but that isn't going to work on me. You're talking to the master of that technique.”

Seeing the defeated slump of her friends shoulders, Starlight cringed. Had that really been the right thing to say? Cursing her lack of knowledge, she tried to think of something. Disgust rose within her when the only answers which presented themselves to her involved casting a spell or three. A small snort of laughter caused her to blink in surprise.

“Thank you for admitting one of your secrets,” Twilight eventually whispered. Starlight felt a nudge on her shoulder as Twilight bumped her. “I'll need to be more watchful of that in the future.”

“...I am really bad at this,” Starlight groaned, a loud smack sounding as her hoof connected with her face.

Twilight shook her head slowly, her mane being thrown around by the movement. “You're concerned about me, and I thank you for that. For now, please...focus on yourself. I don't want to put any more strain on you you are already under. Just like I told Rarity. I'll be fine... just... please don't pull any more hazardous stunts like that again?”

“Got it!” Starlight agreed, performing a salute with her hoof. One shared chuckle later and the pair were outside Starlight's room. The simple wooden door was a big giveaway in the otherwise crystal castle. Something about wood just felt a lot more familiar to her. Being a powerful mage with expertise in transfiguration had its perks.

“Well, this is my stop,” Starlight said, using magic to push open her door.

“Good night Starlight,” Twilight replied warmly, giving her friend one last nudge with her wing before making her way to her own room.

Two doors slowly thumped shut, and two purple ponies sagged against their cool surfaces. Both were well out of their depth and had no idea how to help the other. Listless, dragging steps carried them to their beds. After flopping onto the warm soft mattresses, they closed their eyes and hoped sleep would overcome them quickly.

Life had other plans, as Starlight discovered. Her bedclothes ruthlessly chafed against her as she tossed and turned for what felt like hours. Frustrated, the unicorn groped around with her magic until she found the windows. With more might than she intended, she threw them open. Chilled night air rushed into the room. Ignoring the shivers that racked her body, she instead rose from her bed and looked out upon the town down below.

It was so peaceful and quiet. Just like any other small town...just like her town had been. Every night she had opened her window and looked down upon the community she had created. Closing her eyes, she allowed Ponyville to be replaced by the uniform cottages and dusty street of her little village. Things certainly had changed since then, more than she could ever have imagined. Opening her eyes, Starlight found herself looking upwards, towards the stars. She had been named after their gentle light, so distant and unassuming. A rather fitting name in her opinion, recent events notwithstanding. Before all of this she had little ambition beyond living her quiet life to the fullest. Sunburst's departure had lit the spark that would cause the small glimmer of starlight to collapse into a dangerous black hole of...

She sighed and shook her head. That was not what was keeping her up this night. Instead her thoughts were split. Most prominent were her worries about just how she would handle the outcome of this venture. If it turned out that her foal was simply enjoying the Canterlot high life then she would have to simply try to be content. As difficult as this would be, it was her only option. Anything else would simply be unfair to the young filly. The other option was...something she was trying not to think about. Old feelings of anger were already struggling to take hold of her. Thanks to the selfish actions of entitled ponies her life had spiralled uncontrollably. Suppressing her hatred left her drained and tired, yet still she could not sleep.

Her thoughts then turned to Twilight. The alicorn had been an island in a storm since their second meeting. Despite this, their rocky start put a strain on their relationship. Factoring in her increasingly apparent lack of social skills and Starlight was sure she was not qualified to deal with whatever was ailing Twilight. Even so, she could not sit around and do nothing. Indecision was binding her in place. She could throw caution to the winds and potentially make things much worse, or she could do nothing and hope things would get better. Which they rarely did. Another option was to go to their friends about the problem, but she was held back from that as well. There was every chance she was simply misreading the situation and being paranoid...

Sighing heavily, Starlight allowed these thoughts to claw at her. She hoped that the cold night air would offer some clarity but as the night wore on to morning it became clear that her problems would persist. Giving the now pink sky one last glance, Starlight dragged herself over to her desk and pulled out a small hoof mirror.

Unlike Rarity, spending a long time in front of mirrors was something Starlight preferred to avoid. A quick dose of magic usually got her appearance up to scratch every morning. However, this particular morning required almost half an hour to remove the evidence of her sleepless night from her visage.

Stifling a loud yawn, Starlight exited her room and walked to the kitchen. Her mind still buzzed with her troubled thoughts, drowning out the call of her soft, warm bed. Grumbling, she forced her hooves to carry her away from her room and towards the kitchen. Coffee, as much as she despised the bitter liquid, would hopefully give her a much needed boost. Anything would be better than this haze of exhaustion smothering her.

In her muddled state, she barely noticed that she had drifted towards the wall. By the time her shoulder was dragging against the smooth crystal surface, she was too tired to care. Lost in her own thoughts, she was unprepared for the wall to suddenly vanish from beneath her shoulder. For a second she hung in the air at an impossible angle, before slumping sideways. A very irate, yet concerned, dragon cushioned her fall.

Startled into a semblance of wakefulness by his cry of surprise, Starlight shoved herself away from Spike. “Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't realise where I was going! I... you're not hurt are you?”

“Relax,” he soothed, waving her down, “I've got thick scales and I've had a lot worse than a unicorn fall on me...You, don't look so good though.”

“Huh? Oh. I'm fine, just had a little trouble sleeping is all,” Starlight said, trying to brush off his concern. She knew it was exactly the same sort of “I'm fine,” that Twilight had given her last night. Spike's face told her that he was not buying it one bit. For once, she found herself wilting under his piercing gaze. If she had been in a better state, the switch in roles would have amused her. Sighing heavily, she shook her head, “Okay maybe I'm less fine than I'm saying.”

“Thought so...You wanna talk about it?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. In truth all he had wanted was a glass of water before he partook in another two hours of sleep. The crack of dawn was Starlight and Twilight time. However, if a few hours less sleep would help his friend then he would gladly lose it. After all he could simply make it up later.

“I... think that might be a good idea,” Starlight muttered, taking note of just how badly she was shaking.

“Let's go somewhere more comfortable than this hallway,” he suggested, leading her away without waiting on an answer.

Merely a few minutes later, thanks to Spike's years of practice, Starlight was sitting on the comfortable sofa and had been supplied with a steaming mug of coffee. She would have drained the boiling concoction if doing so would have left her tongue intact afterwards. Instead she let the first sip suffuse her with warmth. The kick would come later, but the taste was enough to widen her eyes and clear her clouded mind.

“Thanks Spike,” she murmured, gently giving the dragon's head scales an affectionate rub.

Grinning, he flashed her a wink. “No problem. Twilight has a lot of sleepless nights herself. It's nothing I'm not used to.”

“I wonder how many of those I've been the cause of...” the unicorn grumbled darkly, her bitter tone making the coffee seem comparatively sweet.

Fighting the urge to sigh, Spike kept his voice level. “What do you mean?”

“Something's wrong Spike. With Twilight I mean... I don't know what it is or how I know... I just know! I did something stupid and I think that only made it worse because she got angry at me and then quiet but when I tried talking about it she brushed it off and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it because I still don't know the first thing about friendship!”

“You knew enough to tell me about it,” Spike corrected, deciding it was his time to butt in. When Starlight looked ready to protest he pressed a claw onto her muzzle, effectively silencing her. “ You really have to stop doubting yourself.”

When any back talk died in her throat, Starlight buried her face into the coffee mug. Rolling his eyes, Spike reached out and placed a claw on her shoulder. “We're all going through a lot right now...you most of all...I think Twilight's just trying not to worry you...” Here he gave her a reassuring hug, “Leave it to me. I'll get to the bottom of it.”

Starlight nodded, feeling a little more at ease. If anyone could help Twilight, it was Spike. His stalwart dedication and willingness to help was inspiring. Still holding her mug with magic, Starlight flopped against the sofa. This was where the whole episode had started, and there was a long way to go. Feeling her eyelids starting to droop, Starlight took a longer swig of coffee.

“Maybe you should try sleep for a bit,” Spike suggested, watching her struggle to stay alert.

“No can do...” Starlight replied, furiously rubbing her eyes. “Rarity is coming to take us all to a spa visit. She made it perfectly clear we do not have a choice in the matter.”

“Really?” Spike asked, his eyes lighting up with excitement. His energy was infectious, flowing into Starlight and giving her a much needed spark. Or perhaps that was just the coffee doing its job.

“Yeah... Though I don't know when she'll arrive.” Starlight shrugged, unable to prevent herself cracking a small smile at Spike's antics.

“Rarity is usually something of an early riser. Nothing like Applejack, but she does like to make the most out of each day,” Spike mused, bringing a claw up to his chin. “I'd say she'd be here in about 2 hours.”

“Not enough time to sleep then,” Starlight reasoned, thankfully now feeling a little more alert.

“Guess not,” Spike relented. He would have suggested that Starlight try to at least nap on the sofa but reasoned that would be a fruitless endeavor. Especially since she had over half a mug of coffee inside her.Plus she was probably still worrying about Twilight, and whatever else had kept her awake. He had hoped she would have the whole day to crash after the coffee kept her awake enough for him to help her. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

After barely a moment of deliberation, Starlight shook her head. Despite the number of doubts, fears and insecurities bubbling within her, she had given Spike more than enough to worry about. Slow hoof steps caused her ears to pin back in alarm. Knowing that there was only one other pony who would be in the castle at this time of day, Starlight winced. If Twilight found them she'd only worry more, the last thing Starlight wanted. Keeping a clear head while his friend panicked, Spike spoke out,

“Don't worry. I'll talk with Twilight. Do you think you can whip us up breakfast in the meantime? This might take a while and we'll all need food.”

“Huh? Oh...yeah right. Good idea,” Starlight said hurriedly, vanishing in a flash of magic. Rolling his eyes, Spike turned to the second emotionally charged pony he was going to deal with. Maybe he really should start up a business. Though, ponies like Twilight and Starlight were generally few and far between. Having two under the same roof was certainly...interesting. Interesting in the same way watching an active volcano erupt was interesting.

“Was Starlight just in here?” Twilight asked. “I... thought I heard talking.”

Seeing his caretaker so frantic, Spike felt his heart twist. Evidently he was the only one in the castle who had gotten any sleep. Glad that he was going to nip this problem in the bud now, he patted the cushion next to him. It was a simple gesture, beckoning Twilight to sit. The alicorn found herself almost compelled to follow the silent command. When she was comfortable, Spike offered her the half cup of coffee that Starlight had left behind. She took the mug and sipped it, allowing the bitter taste to purge the fog from her body.

“She's worried about you,” Spike said gently, letting the words sink in before continuing. “And so am I...”

Twilight sighed and stared into her mug. Last night had been a lie, she was not fine. Her lack of sleep attested to that. All of the times she had pleaded with Starlight to be more open now felt hollow. How could she ask her student to open up when she was not leading by example? Opening her mouth, Twilight tried to speak but no sound would emerge. Closing her mouth again, she squeezed her eyes shut. Why was it so hard to admit that she needed help. Her breakdown in the library was clear evidence that she needed help, yet she could not ask for it. A warm scaled hand gently touched her shoulder.

“I'm here...we all are...” Spike whispered, slowly rubbing Twilight's shoulder. Seeing her so distressed hurt him, but he had to stay strong and firm. “You can tell me anything... you know that...”

“I know...I... I... just... I don't know how to say it... ” Twilight murmured, before suddenly breaking down into sobs and letting the words just spill out. “I, had an... episode in the library, yesterday. I just... felt so...guilty...guilty about what happened. It... It happened in my home city... I was probably studying at the time... or having tea with the princess... how could I just...”

Spike just let her talk, listening as she ranted nonsensically about how she could have, should have done something. Several times her sobs overwhelmed her, but just Twilight had done for Starlight, he let her finish at her own pace. Only when she had finally talked herself dry did Spike give his own perspective.

“And I was eating gems or making messes... Twilight... nothing that happened back then was your fault... You had no idea what was going on. The only ponies who are at fault are the ponies who thought it was a good idea to...do that. No one can protect everypony from everything... not you... not Princess Celestia... not anyone. We can only do the best with what we know, and you helping Starlight right now is doing the best with what you know. Blaming yourself doesn't help anypony...”

“I know... I know... I just... can't get it out of my head.” Twilight whimpered, bringing a hoof to her temple. “I was hoping to be able to keep it from everyone until this had been dealt with but...”

“Yeah you are not very good at that. Even if no one knew quite what was wrong, we all knew something was...”

“I know... but... I couldn't let Starlight know what was going on. She'd blame herself...and I don't want her doing anything even more reckless...”

“Twilight, I know you want this to go as smoothly as possible, but do you really think she wants that at your expense? You're her friend...her best friend actually. She cares about you. Keeping her in the dark is not going to help her. You both just need to be honest with each other. I'm sure she'd want to be there to help you. It would help her too...It helps me when I'm in her position...”

Twilight let out a breath she scarecly realised she had been holding. As the rush of air escaped her lungs she felt a weight lift from her. The guilt was still there, but once again Spike was reminding her that she was not alone. She was not alone, and all she had to be was her best...not perfect, just her best. Wrapping a hoof around the dragon she pulled him into a tight hug. There were definitely some gems in store for his breakfast this morning.

“Thanks Spike... I needed that.”

“No problem,” he said, glad to see the smile brightening up Twilight's face. “Now we better go rescue the kitchen from Starlight. I told her to go make breakfast...”

This statement caused a chuckle to escape Twilight. Hopping from the couch, she placed Spike onto her back and started to trot towards the kitchen. Unless Starlight had transfigured a spoon into their breakfast, she was pretty sure a mess was awaiting them.

As she had expected, the kitchen was a mess of flour, oats and honey. Starlight herself was coated in a protective barrier which prevented any of the mess from sticking to her coat. For a unicorn who could give an alicorn a run for her magical money, the kitchen was her one weakness. When she saw them come in, Starlight quickly cleaned her mess with a lazy brandishing of her magic.

“Having trouble?” Spike asked, chuckling as he took his place on the counter and quickly got to work with whatever she had left out.

“A little,” she said sheepishly, bringing her hoof to the back of her neck.

“I think maybe Spike should take it over from here,” Twilight laughed. Starlight nodded slowly, unsure just what she was supposed to say. She had went to Spike behind Twilight's back and she had no idea what Spike had told her. Maybe she was just being parano-

Her mind blanked when Twilight enveloped her in a soft hug. Relieved, Starlight wrapped her hooves around her teacher's neck. Neither of them spoke, content to simply share the moment buried in the other's fur. Twilight still felt the ache in her chest as she felt Starlight trembling against her while the exhausted look in Twilight's eyes twisted Starlight's stomach.

“We're a bit of a mess aren't we?” Starlight mumbled into Twilight's mane.

“A little...I'm sorry I made you worry...” Twilight whispered, similarly muffled by Starlight's mane. It smelled suspiciously of honey. “We'll get through this... together.”

“Yeah...”

Breakfast was uneventful after that, though Spike did insist on giving Starlight cooking lessons at a later date. The baked honey oatcakes he had made were delicious, as both Twilight and Starlight kept repeating. Keeping to her silent promise, Twilight allowed Spike to dig into his gem stash, just this once.

Not long after, Rarity made good on her promise to treat them all to a spa date. Everyone else had turned out to be busy, having lost a whole day helping Starlight yesterday. Not that she was ever going to bring that up in the unicorn's company. Twilight had to admit she was looking forward to it. The last time she had been to the spa her friends had been kicking her out of the castle for a day so they could decorate it. It was always a welcome experience. Aloe and Lotus certainly knew how to look after a pony.

Rarity insisted on a long relaxing session, knowing that the two stressed magic users needed all the relaxation they could get. Aloe and Lotus were only too happy to oblige their number one customer and led them to a more private part of the spa. None of her friends protests would sway her from providing the very best for them. Though, for all of Rarity's planning, she was unprepared for one outcome.

Half way through the most relaxing massage Starlight had ever felt, the inevitable happened. Her breathing slowed to a steady crawl and her thoughts stilled. Tender hooves slowly working out the tension in her muscles, coupled with the slow rhythm of her heartbeat, lulled her to sleep. Twilight lasted a little longer but soon both ponies were out cold, no longer kept awake by their worry. Lotus and Aloe had been prepared for this. From the state of the two when they had arrived it was a wonder they had lasted this long. This had not been the first time ponies had fallen asleep in their care and it most certainly would not be the last. Privacy curtains were brought in and drawn around the pair, allowing them to sleep the day away in peace.

In an effort to allow the pair their rest, Spike intercepted the mail mare before she could reach Twilight. While usually the sentiment that mail must be delivered directly to the recipient no matter where they were was commendable, occasionally the mare could be a little overzealous. After ripping open the envelope, Spike sighed. In an effort to impress their newest, or second newest, princess, Canterlot Records had been prompt and accommodating. They had an appointment later today which they could fit Twilight into. Thankfully they still had several hours and Spike was going to make absolutely sure that Twilight was only disturbed at the latest possible moment.

Author's Note

This one was a rollercoaster to write. I thought about extending Twilight's silence but I then decided against it. It isn't a Twilight thing to do and her friends know when something is up. Spike's talk wasn't a fix but I feel it was something that would happen and didn't want to force it not to. I tend to let my stories write themselves. Life isn't a logical progression from A-B sometimes it starts at C, goes to G then jumps back to A.

Hope you all enjoyed. Next chapter will arrive as soon as possible. For anyone who hasn't already guessed, the identity of the foal and father will be revealed next time. Have a nice day!

Now What to Do?

It was a refreshed yet bewildered Starlight who woke just after noon. Her fuzzy brain fumbled for several seconds before she remembered where she was. When the answer came to her, heat flushed to her cheeks. They were being treated to a spa date by Rarity...then suddenly everything had went black. A genius was not required to work out what had happened.

“Well...this is embarrassing,” she muttered, giving her head a shake to disperse the cobwebs weaved during her sleep.

Looking to her left, she saw Twilight still passed out on the massage table. This was the second time in as many days she had woken up next to her friend. Before she could put any real effort behind that thought, hushed voices caught her attention. Carefully, so as to avoid disturbing Twilight, she exited the veil of fabric and closed the curtains behind her.

Hearing her emerge, Spike and Rarity removed the cucumber from their eyes and turned. Putting cucumber over one's eyes was still something Starlight found odd, but she had to admit that it was pleasant. As long as she did not overthink it.

“Sleep well?” Spike asked, flashing her a cheeky grin.

Starlight nodded, sitting on the edge of Spike's table. “Yes thank you,” she replied, remnants of her blush returning to flood her cheeks. “Though I am really sorry for falling asleep on you all.”

“Oh think nothing of it darling,” Rarity smiled. “That's what people come to spas for...well not literally that but if you feel better then that's the important thing.”

Nodding once again, Starlight rolled her shoulders. Her whole body felt so warm, relaxed and loose. If only she could feel this way all the time.

“Did I miss anything? How long was I out?”

“About three hours. I was expecting you to be asleep for a little longer. Spike tells me you didn't sleep at all last night.”

“I'm not a very good sleeper,” Starlight replied nonchalantly, but cast a wary glance towards the pony who was currently attending to Rarity. Bringing up certain things in public was still not a good idea.

Understanding completely, Rarity simply nodded. “Fair enough darling. As for what you missed, Canterlot Records sent a letter to Twilight saying that they can fit you in this afternoon.”

This caused Starlight to pale. “That was...faster than I was expecting...” she muttered, apprehension weighting her belly. She had known all along that she would have to revisit Canterlot at some point. Even so, the thought of doing so in mere hours with little time to prepare almost turned her green. Thankfully breakfast had been hours ago, long enough so that nothing would be ejected as her stomach rebelled against her.

“The sooner you get it done the sooner it will be over,” Rarity reasoned, sitting up and wrapping a hoof around the distressed mare. “I'm sure if you really don't want to go to Canterlot you can stay behind. Though, if I may... I really think it would be better if you were to go. Get it all over and done with.”

“No you're right...” Starlight sighed, “Staying behind would do me no good... I'm just... nervous... The only other time I was there I was too wrapped up in my revenge against Twilight to really care... But now...”

“It's perfectly natural to be nervous, especially about something like this. Though as you said, you did it once, so I'm absolutely sure you can do it again.” Rarity encouraged, deciding to glance over the reason Starlight had been able to overcome her nerves and instead focusing on the now. “Just remember that we're all right there with you and focus on the task at hand. I'm sure you'll be fine.”

“Y'know, that might actually work. Thanks Rarity,” Starlight beamed, the tension in her belly loosening slightly.

“No problem darling. Though since we do still have some time to waste and Twilight is still asleep, can I interest you in a hooficure? They are positively delightful.”

Starlight blinked inquisitively, “A hoofiwhat?” Rarity rolled her eyes and cracked a small smile. This mare really needed to spend a little more time in her company.

Some time passed before Twilight roused herself from the grasp of sleep. Feeling better than she had in a few days, she stepped out into the light. Almost instantly she was greeted by a hug from Spike. Smiling slightly, she returned the gesture.

“Canterlot Records got back to you,” Spike told her, handing her the letter. After quickly scanning the letter, she raised an eyebrow.

“Well...that was quick...”

“That's what I said,” Starlight sighed. With a shrug she added, “Someone is looking to impress.”

“Yeah, Pinkie is usually the one who everyone knows... I'm not sure I'll ever quite get used to this.”

“We're all making waves in the world darling,” Rarity pointed out. She then gently touched one of Twilight's wings. “Yours are just a little more...out in the open.”

“Guess so,” Twilight sighed, frowning at the letter for a brief moment before scanning the room for a clock. When she spotted one, her eyes widened in horror “We're never going to make it in time!”

A light giggle pulled her from panic mode. Turning to Starlight, who was tittering behind her hoof, Twilight raised an eyebrow. In response, the unicorn called upon her magic and vanished with a quiet pop. An instant later she reappeared, sporting a cocky grin.

Stunned by the simplicity of the solution, Twilight was only able to say, “Oh.” Excitement at attempting such a huge teleportation had her wings fluttering rapidly.

“We were going to wake you up about an hour ago but Starlight insisted that it would be a simple matter to teleport to Canterlot if the pair of you worked together,” Rarity explained.

Still buzzing with enthusiasm, Twilight performed a quick calculation in her head. “Hmm, yes we should be able to manage it between the two of us. Oh this will be so fun! Who else is coming with us?”

“Well I was thinking just everyone in this room,” Starlight admitted. “Rarity pointed out that the whole group is probably too many to go barging into Canterlot Records and everyone else is busy so...”

“I already went around and let everyone know that was the plan,” Spike said proudly, puffing out his chest. “They all wish us luck and want to know the moment we're back.”

“Okay. That works,” Twilight nodded. “Starlight and I should probably do some warm up teleportation before we get going.”

“Got it!” Starlight squealed happily, igniting her horn. In an instant the entire group was displaced, ending up just outside the spa.

“Just like that yes...” Twilight said, shaking her head in quiet amusement. Magic was always enough to brighten Starlight's mood, and her own for that matter.

The air crackled as three ponies and a dragon winked into being just outside of Canterlot. Warping directly into the streets had been deemed too large a risk, as they could have crashed into anyone or anything. The caution proved justified, as their landing was anything but dignified. Extracting herself from the disorientating bundle of bodies, Twilight looked back sheepishly at their failed landing.

“Maybe we were a little ambitious trying to pull off such a long ranged teleport...” she chuckled.

“Are you kidding!” Starlight called from underneath Rarity, giggling like a filly. “That was amazing! We should do it again!”

“Maybe after some more practice darling,” Rarity suggested, standing up and frantically trying to straighten her mane. “That was perhaps the most undignified entrance I have ever made into Canterlot. Please tell me that no one is watching us right now.”

“You're good,” Spike assured her after a quick look around. “There's no one around.”

“Oh thank goodness,” she replied, finally satisfied with the state of her mane.

“Sorry Rarity. I wasn't expecting the landing to be quite so bumpy,” Twilight apologised.

Rarity made a dismissive noise, “Ugh, think nothing of it. As long as no one saw me then I shall simply have to make do. Though may I please motion that we return by train?”

“Good idea,” Twilight agreed, rolling her eyes at the disappointed little simper that Starlight gave out. Giving the pouting unicorn a playful elbow, Twilight chuckled, “C'mon. We still need to get to Canterlot Records before the appointment.”

The group made it to their destination with minutes to spare. This was owed to both Spike, Rarity and Twilight's intimate knowledge of the city. Starlight on the other hoof, was glancing around with a dismissive expression on her face. Inwardly, she was amazed at just how little the city had changed. It brought a sickening taste to her mouth to realise just how much the place that had thrown her into disarray had remained the same. Seeing the anger starting to build under Starlight's bored facade, Twilight wrapped a wing around her.

“Ugh...the sooner we get out of here the sooner I won't feel the need to scream,” Starlight groaned, pressing into the alicorn's side.

Twilight just nodded, gradually picking up the pace. It came as a relief to everyone when they were safely inside Canterlot Records. With walls enclosing her away from the city she despised, Starlight began to relax. As if on a set of scales, it was now Twilight's turn to go rigid. Walking into Canterlot Records had greeted her with the sight of the last pony she had expected to see, whose magnificent presence filled the entire room.

“Princess Celestia?” she gasped, drawing the attention of several well dressed unicorns waiting to be attended to. Her heart fluttered nervously. This was not the state she wanted to be in when bumping headlong into her old mentor.

“Twilight?” Celestia asked, raising her head and giving her student a surprised yet warm expression. “I did not expect to meet you here. How have you been?”

“I've been...good. We're just here to research some of the old birth records,” Twilight answered, already knowing it was pointless. Celestia had known her too long, hiding anything from her old mentor was futile.

Sensing that something was wrong, Celestia in that moment decided to act. Turning to the pony she had been conversing with, a dark coated stallion with greying hair, she said. “We shall have to continue our conversation at a later date. Is there anywhere my friends and I can talk in private?”

“You can use my office,” the stallion replied easily, pointing with a hoof. “It's just in there. I'll make sure you won't be disturbed.”

“Thank you Note Quill. I appreciate your assistance,” Celestia said gratefully, moving towards the small room.

“My pleasure your highness,” Note Quill replied, performing a low bow. He then proceeded to lend his aid to another unicorn who had just entered the building.

Once everyone was inside the small, tidy office, Celestia closed the door behind them. Worry creased her flawless visage, cracking the perfect mask that few were allowed to lift. Maintaining as calm a tone as possible, she spoke,

“My apologies for delaying your business Twilight, but I can't help but notice you appear troubled? Is something wrong?”

“No...well, not really,” Twilight stammered, as always completely losing her words under Celestia's gaze. Knowing that trying to lie would only set the older princess worrying, Twilight sighed, “Sorry, it's just been a strange couple of days.”

“Would you like to tell me about it?” Celestia asked, straining to keep herself at arms length from her former student. “Perhaps I would be able to assist you.”

Perhaps it was selfish of her, to relish a chance to assist her young pupil once again. They had grown more distant since Twilight had ascended to the role of princess. The absence of their weekly correspondence had left a void in Celestia's heart that only grew stronger every time she had to again rely on her former student to save Equestria. Even the dinner Twilight had scheduled between them had ended in disaster. While Celestia felt great pride in watching her student rise to the role of teacher, sadness tainted her soul when she realised just how little time they spent together.

“Well, it's not really my story to tell...” Twilight said uneasily, turning to Starlight.

Celestia shifted her ancient gaze towards Starlight, who was obviously trying to hold herself together. Most of Twilight's limited letters involved her new pupil and all her trials and tribulations. It was when she read them that the warm feeling of pride was at its strongest, coupled with nostalgic amusement. It was a shame that their scheduled dinner had not come to fruition, though the charming apology letter she had received from Starlight had almost made up for the inconvenience. It gave Celestia a good sense for the mare Twilight had taken under her wing. A talented yet misguided pony who was trying to find her hoofhold in the world. If anything, she seemed to have inherited Twilight's curse for attracting difficult circumstances to her.

“Oh?” Was all Celestia decided to say.

Understanding that she could not continue to stay silent in front of the highest authority in the land, Starlight gave a small nod. Fighting to speak, she said softly, “It's, something that happened a long time go. Everyone is trying to help me find answers.”

“And that brought you here?” Celestia asked, already trying to piece together the story. The less Starlight had to say aloud, the less painful it would be for her.

With a pained smile, Starlight nodded again. “Yes. We're...” she paused, turning to Twilight for guidance. A reassuring smile encouraged her to continue. “We're looking for my foal, after I was forced to give her up eleven years ago.”

The only reaction Celestia gave to that revelation was a slight widening of her eyes. Starlight's shoulders started to shake, and her bottom lip quivered. Her posture all but collapsed as she struggled to stave off the tears. In an instant her three friends were around her, offering their unbridled support.

“I'm fine,” Starlight said after a moment, a little more forcefully than she meant to. In a softer tone she repeated, “I'm fine...”

Everyone backed off at her insistence, though Twilight moved the least, still within touching distance of her student. The same kind of hooves on approach that Celestia had employed during her first years of teaching, before Twilight's progress demanded a different method.

“And what caused this to be brought up now?”

Celestia wished that the question sounded less accusing, there was no doubt in her mind that Starlight's story was genuine. She had seen enough liars to know when a pony was being honest. It was simply a necessity to get as many facts as possible. If this really had happened in her home city then she herself would have to take action.

“I placed spells on myself years ago, to prevent myself seeking revenge. It turned out to be pretty good foresight as it happens.”

The bitter laugh that burst from the unicorn filled Celestia with sorrow. It was the same laugh that Luna often used when trying to talk lightly about her dark misdeeds. Not as a way to make them seem insignificant, but as a way of coping. The mare before her had so much of Luna in her and so much of Twilight, yet in many ways she was still unique. Celestia drew herself away from her observations to listen intently to what Starlight said next.

“It came up when Twilight was showing me her old photo album,” Starlight continued. She missed Twilight's furious blush; Celestia allowed herself a slight inward smile at the adorable display. “Then we decided that it would be better for me to at least try and get some closure, now that everything was out in the open again.”

“I understand,” Celestia nodded, rising to her full impressive height. Her heart ached that such a thing had happened to any one of her little ponies. Another reminder that no matter how hard she tried, she could not protect them from everything.

“I am sorry that I cannot stay much longer to assist you in your task, but I wish you well. Twilight.” The mentioned pony raised her head sharply. “Keep me informed please, and do not hesitate to ask for my assistance. There are some important matters I must now discuss with Luna. I shall likewise keep you informed.”

“Of course Princess,” Twilight nodded, barely able to stop herself from bowing. It would be a long time before being equals with Celestia would become natural. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome Twilight,” Celestia said warmly, a small portion of her heart filling up once more at hearing those words of gratitude. “I hope everything goes well for you, Starlight Glimmer and I hope we have the opportunity to speak under more pleasant circumstances.”

Another quiet nod. Opening the door, Celestia held it to allow everyone to depart. An extended wing stopped Twilight's exit just long enough for Celestia to say softly. “Anything you need, even if it is just an ear, I'm only a letter away Twilight.”

“I know,” Twilight murmured, already having such a letter in mind.

With that Celestia closed the door behind them and made her leave. The conversation, though brief had left her with a lot to ponder. Giving them one last smile, she summoned her guards and made her way back to Canterlot Castle.

“She's...something when you meet her up close,” Starlight said, trying to clear herself of the sense of saw hanging over her.

“You've met her before,” Spike snorted, having gotten used to the solar alicorn after spending most of his life in her castle.

“Yeah but that time the fate of an entire empire was in the balance. I wasn't the focus,” Starlight shot back. Maybe it was just her imagination but she felt, better after talking with Celestia. As if everything would just go right now that she had the solar alicorn watching over her. That was probably why Twilight had so much faith in her, though it did not explain the frenzy Twilight often worked herself into whenever said alicorn was involved.

“Fair enough,” Spike shrugged. “So...where do we go now?”

“Well... I'd assume we find someone who can help us finding birth records for eleven years ago,” Twilight replied, looking back and forth for any available assistance.

“Birth Records, right this way please,” Note Quill suddenly announced from behind her, causing Twilight to leap into the air. Starlight could not help herself, she snickered behind her hoof. Twilight shot her a teasing glare before turning to Note Quill.

“Sorry, you startled me.”

“It is no problem princess,” the stallion said, completely at ease. “I should have announced myself more delicately. Please, follow me.”

Starlight flinched back at the sheer size of the room. It was huge. There was an entire library's worth of records here. Her foal was just one name amongst thousands. How were they supposed to know where to start. At the horrified look on her face, Note Quill cleared his throat.

“Ma'am, do not fret I will do everything in my power to help you find who you are looking for as quickly as possible.”

“Thank you,” Twilight said gently. “We'd be looking for a young pegasus filly born eleven years ago...I'm afraid that's all we can give you. Events are...somewhat murky.”

“I've had to work with less,” Note Quill said simply, carefully levitating a cluster of scrolls towards them. There were about twenty in all.

“That's all?” Starlight asked. Rather than fill her with relief, dread clutched at her with iron talons. There was every possibility that the records would not even be in Canterlot. That would only make the search much harder.

“Pegasi births are a rarity in this city,” Note Quill explained, quietly scanning each of the scrolls. “Officially I cannot let you see any of these, but I can report anything suspicious to you princess. I assume any births that can be accounted for will not be pertinent to your search?”

“Correct,” Twilight nodded. “I'd imagine that we would be looking for a scroll where the mother is not mentioned.”

Papers shuffled as Note Quill set to work with that line of enquiry in mind. “There are three. Though one mentions a unicorn, which would imply that the mother is a pegasus in most cases.”

“If I grow wings I'll let everyone know,” Starlight muttered under her breath. Spike snickered.

“The next two are interesting. I am going to break procedure here and allow you to see the names of the fathers. I hope it is helpful.” Note Quill stated, scribbling down the two names on separate pieces of parchment.

Taking both papers in her magic, Starlight held the first in her gaze for a full minute before dismissing it. Her spells were either holding, or the name was useless. The air could be cut with a knife as she slowly revealed the second name. In an instant, her vision turned blinding white. Hot searing pain stabbed into her head, shattering something beneath it into a myriad of razor sharp shards. The agony only intensified at this, destroying her grip on the world around her. As the shards dug into her, memories rushed out over the torn landscape of her mind. What had once been locked was now unlocked and nothing would stop the flow until it had gouged out its rightful place and settled there.

When Starlight regained control of herself, she became aware of strong hooves wrapped around her. Her breathing was heavy and ragged, each inhale exhale cycle tearing at her lungs. Suddenly weak, she found herself leaning against whoever was providing her support. Remnants of the scorching river that had carved into her mind slowly started to cool. Then she heard her name.

“Starlight? Starlight?” the voice called, soft but frantic. It was familiar, very familiar.

“Twilight...” she whispered, and the pony beneath her breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“I'm here,” Twilight murmured, hugging Starlight to her chest.

“I...I remembered,” she mumbled, feeling no inclination to break away from the alicorn's embrace.

“Should I call for a doctor?” Note Quill asked, tentatively moving forward. It was not often one of his clients suddenly started writhing in agony.

“No. I'm fine now,” Starlight said firmly, even though her tongue felt like it was coated in fuzz. Bile had risen in her throat, forcing her to swallow.

“If... If you are sure,” Note Quill said quietly. After taking a moment to regulate himself, he announced, “I'll leave this with you. I believe it is what you are looking for,” he continued, handing the scroll to Spike. After replacing the irrelevant scrolls in their proper sections, he left to allow the group time to collect themselves.

“Are you sure you're alright darling?” Rarity asked, biting her bottom lip nervously. “That looked dreadful.”

“Several powerful spells imploded in my memory. All things considering it was okay.” Starlight stated matter-of-factly. Rarity cringed at this, trying not to envision such a horrible thing.

“I tried to ease the process,” Twilight said gently, helping Starlight to her feet. “But the spells were so old and embedded I'm not sure how much I was able to do.”

“I just hope that's the last my head has to take,” Starlight groaned, reaching out for the scroll. Spike relinquished his hold on it as the paper glowed with her teal aura.

“Maybe we should get out of here before we cause a scene,” Starlight suggested. “Well... more of a scene.”

“Say no more! I know the perfect place!” Rarity proclaimed, ushering them all out into the streets of Canterlot once more... Starlight was just glad her head was not involved in walking.

“So... the father is Wind Rider?” Spike gasped, taking a sip of the tea Rarity had insisted they all have before talks commenced. “You mean the famous Wonderbolt?”

“That... doesn't really mean anything to me...” Starlight answered, unable to keep a low growl from seeping into her tone. Now that she once again had the name of the one who had torn her life apart.

“I met him once when he tried to get Rainbow Dash kicked from the Wonderbolts. He has excellent taste in cologne but it appears his faults are mounting higher and higher,” Rarity said, rolling her words around as if they tasted bitter.

They were all seated comfortably in the staff break area of Canterlot Carousel. Sassy Saddles had assured them that she would keep the staff out of the room. It would provide them with privacy, and a comfortable place once Starlight either found her answer or was disappointed once again. Fervently, Rarity hoped it was the former.

“Hmmph... I'm not surprised,” Starlight snorted, casting an anxious look at the scroll. In truth she had been delaying the inevitable, revealing the father first. That was not what they had been working towards. However, now that the answer was in her hooves, her heart was racing. Swallowing hard, she took the scroll in her magic and opened it. Everyone held their breath and the tension was palpable. Scanning down to the bottom of the certificate, Starlight found her answer.

“Scootaloo?” she managed to choke out, disbelief tightening her throat. How was that possible? The odds were a million to one.

“WHAT?!” three voices shouted in unison, echoing her raging own thoughts.

Silently, Starlight passed the paper to them, so they could all confirm the validity of her statement. Everything felt distorted, and her body was numb. Now that she had her answer...how was she going to move forward now? How could she move forward now?

“H-how...” she mumbled, finding herself wrapped in Twilight's embrace once again. No one knew what to say. Things just got much more complicated. Now everything was much closer to home. Just a scooter ride away.

Author's Note

No I have absolutely no idea why this one is out so quickly. I just started writing and suddenly boom chapter. Now that we know who everyone is, the story takes another turn. How do they tell Scootaloo, or Rainbow Dash for that matter. Even Celestia is setting things in motion. How will this all pan out? I would say I know but I only have a vague idea. Let's find out together shall we? :P

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed. If anyone was confused as to why this chapter was blank 5 minutes ago my internet bombed right as I was putting it up. So yay for technology. Hehe. Have a nice day everyone!

Just a Little More.

Eternity could have passed around them and neither Starlight or Scootaloo would have noticed, locked in each other's embrace. Too many years had led up to this day, Scootaloo had been waiting her entire life for this moment. Time was powerless to put a damper on the raw, unrestrained happiness that filled the quiet clubhouse.

Reservoirs of tears already dry, and her spirit battered and drained, Starlight found herself emerging first. Even so, she was content to stay completely still, hooves still tightly wrapped around Scootaloo's quivering form. She deserved that much at least, growing up alone was not the life Starlight had envisioned for her missing daughter. A bubble of loathing rose within her, but she forced it down. Now was not the time to deal with it.

Watching the scene had left Rainbow a little misty eyed, and for once she did not feel the need to explain it away. Instead, as she watched, she felt proud. The kid who had pushed herself on, despite the odds, was finally in her mother's hooves. A lifetime of wondering, and searching, had finally paid off.

As her eyes began to dry, Scootaloo slowly slackened her iron grip. Feeling the slight change in pressure, Starlight smiled and let her hooves fall limp. Cramp had began to set in, not that it would have stopped her holding on all night, if she had to. Pulling away, Scootaloo started to fumble around for words. Her feeble attempts were stopped abruptly as two blurs bowled her over. Tumbling mane over hoof, the three crusaders rolled and rolled, before coming to rest, pressed against the wooden wall of their clubhouse.

Three peals of laughter rose from the bundle of colour. Overwhelmed by the moment, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were hugging Scootaloo tightly. Her victory, was their victory and they could not be happier for her. Scootaloo, was just glad to have such amazing friends, who had allowed her to get up to this moment. With as much vigour as she could muster, the young pegasus returned her friends' heartfelt embrace.

Quite unable to stand the mushiness any longer, everyone had their limits, Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves and rubbed them together. “Right! Let's hustle everyone! We better get back to the castle before they send out a search party!”

Standing, Starlight gave herself a stretch. A thin smirk played across her lips and she cocked her head. “Usually the search party is you. Though you are right, everyone is probably waiting on us.” Igniting the magic in her horn, she created several loud pops in the air. Turning to the three crusaders, she winked and flashed them all a knowing smile. “Last one to the castle has to be the guinea pig for whatever scheme you come to me with next.”

All three fillies turned to each other and gulped. Starlight always kept her promises, and none of them liked to try and cross her. They always lost, always. As one, they sped off, running as fast as their hooves would carry them. Despite the desperate battle she had been thrust headlong into, Scootaloo was laughing, her steps so light she felt she might fly.

With an easy smile on her face, Starlight closed her eyes. She could feel two pairs of eyes burning into the back of her head, to which she shrugged.“Just something I always do. Otherwise it can take all day for them to decide.” A quiet pause followed, as she started to make her way down the steps. “I...I kind of wanted to make sure things didn't become...weird.”

Rainbow chuckled and lightly batted the back of Starlight's head, causing the unicorn to pitch forward slightly. “With you around, everything is weird.” Luckily, Starlight was unable to react immediately so Rainbow was able to retreat to the air to avoid retaliation. “Anyway. Let's get going! You need to see who the winner is right?”

“Oh! Right!” Starlight's face fell, she had completely forgotten about that particular detail. Frantic, she vanished with a burst of light, leaving Rainbow and Spike alone in the clubhouse.

The latter trudged forward, hoisting the heavy cauldron up off the grass. “I'll get this back to Zecora and catch you up.” So saying he began the slow walk towards the forest. The heavy cauldron buckled his knees slightly, but years with Twilight's book collection had foisted plenty of experience carrying loads larger than himself upon his shoulders. Rainbow just gave him a nod and sped towards the castle. On the way she passed the three crusaders, still locked in their competition. A smile touched at her lips, Scootaloo looked so happy.

Starlight gave a small nod when Rainbow landed neatly beside her. Her breathing was slightly laboured, the last teleportation spell having wrenched any wind she still had in her sails. As much as she hated to admit it, she had pushed past her limit long ago. She felt Rainbow's wing gently touch her shoulder, the pegasi's concern obvious. Before either of them could speak, the thundering of hooves caught their attention.

Sweetie Belle crossed the threshold first, with Apple Bloom barely a hair's breadth behind her. Bringing up the rear was a dejected looking Scootaloo. The ironic twist of fate was not lost on Starlight, as she pushed herself off the railing that was bearing her weight. “Okay, that settles that then, Scootaloo...” She allowed her words to hang in the air, holding them for dramatic effect. “I'll make sure I go easy.”

Scootaloo beamed brightly from ear to ear, her wings buzzing rapidly. “Thanks!” A shyness then enveloped the young filly, and she shuffled awkwardly.. Her grin never wavered, and she finally got to say what she had wanted to all these years. “...Mum.”

Everything stalled for Starlight just then, and everything really hit home. Biting her lip proved futile against the hot salty water that blurred her vision. Determined that she would not waste her remaining strength on crying, Starlight roughly shoved away her tears and pushed the heavy doors open. “No problem,” she murmured huskily, her lips tugging upwards into what she could only describe as an expression of pure joy.

As they walked through the cavernous hallway, Scootaloo kept close to Starlight, both trying to enjoy each other's presence as much as possible. Rainbow stayed on Starlight's other side, ready to intervene if the need arose.

Worried faces gave way to relief when they entered the throne room. Whatever tension that had been building quickly dissipated through the open doors. It was clear to everyone that all had went well. A loud bang suddenly echoed through the quiet castle, echoing several times off the crystalline walls. Everyone soon glared at Pinkie Pie, confetti clinging to their mane. The party mare just bobbed her head happily, mane bouncing as she patted her party cannon fondly. “I couldn't resist.”

Twilight, shaking clinging confetti from her mane and fur, said softly. “I'm glad everything worked out.” Giving up on fighting the colourful strands of paper, she added warmly. “I'm proud of you.”

In an attempt to hide the blush that spread across her cheeks, Starlight set about testing her own luck against Pinkie's confetti explosion. In the end her grooming proved comically ineffective, something Scootaloo's titters made abundantly clear.

Having been fit to burst, no one could bring it within themselves to deny Pinkie Pie her chance to throw a party. Three quick blasts of her party cannon took care of the decoration, while the food was transported from Sugarcube corner. For now it was a small private affair, a pseudo party, everyone just being content to talk and relax in a friendly atmosphere. The real event would happen tomorrow, after everyone had gotten a good night's sleep. Tomorrow was saturday after all, which Apple Bloom pointed out, meant no school. However, Applejack was quick to remind her that did not mean she did not have a bedtime.

That small exchange tugged uncomfortably at Starlight. It made her realise just how little she knew of parenting. The thought had always been at the back of her mind, but now that her first ordeal was behind her, another was just around the corner. As her heart thumped uncomfortably within its cage, her bottom lip suffered another chewing. To try and distract herself from that avenue of thought and the negativity it heralded, she tiredly picked at a large, bright red cupcake.

A small hoof touched her elbow, pulling her from her thoughts. Still buzzing with excitement, laced with a large dose of disbelief, Scootaloo found herself wanting to stay close to her mother's side. Sweetie Bell and Apple Bloom stayed with her, sharing in their friend's elation. Turning to see her daughter staring up at her with questioning eyes, Starlight offered a weary smile. “Sorry, just thinking about well... ahead...”

Sharing a look with her two friends helped Scootaloo feel at ease. With an air of confidence, she tossed back her head and grinned. There was a hint of Rainbow's assured arrogance clearly present in her tone. “I think it'll be fine. Nothing really changes does it. You're still awesome, now you're just my awesome mum.” Taking a bit out of her own cupcake, she pointed to Rainbow Dash. The pegasus was quietly discussing something with Twilight, who Starlight still felt a pang of worry for. “When Rainbow became my big sister, nothing really changed. She just became more awesome.”

“I thought that wasn't possible?” Starlight teased, bringing her cupcake to her mouth. Before she could take a bite, she paused and sighed, saying softly, more to herself than anyone else. “I was trying to do that, but I still can't help but feel like I shouldn't. I just, have no idea... I was gone for eleven years...I can't just pretend like that didn't happen, but I don't even have a grip on my own life right now...”

Realising she was trembling slightly, Starlight took a bite into the cupcake, hoping to steady herself. Instead, her mouth was suddenly engulfed in hot fire. In her sleep deprived state she had accidentally picked one of Pinkie Pie's special chilli sauce cupcakes. Coughing and spluttering, the unicorn made an undignified dash to the nearest bathroom, amidst a spattering of amused laughing. Having been tuned in to the conversation leading up to her mishap, one pony quietly got up to follow her.

Shaking uncontrollably, Starlight sagged against the wall, her throat still burning. Whatever Pinkie Pie put in those cupcakes really did not agree with her, how anyone could eat them truly baffled her. Stumbling towards the bathroom, she turned the tap and let water stream into the sink. Fully aware that every movement was causing her to fade faster and faster, she started splashing water onto her face. What little boost that gave her was inconsequential to the huge deficit of strength she had built up. Holding onto the sink tightly, she stared into the rippling water, just trying to stay upright. When the liquid settled, she became aware of the two red eyes reflected behind her.

The pony at her back slipped their hooves under Starlight's armpits, gently pulling her backwards. Rainbow's voice tickled her ear, quiet and inviting “Easy. I got you. Just let go.”

Taking the advice, Starlight let herself flop against the pegasus' athletic form. She felt Rainbow shift into a more comfortable position underneath her but made no move to resist. Now that she had finally stopped, she was going nowhere. Eyes half closed, Starlight mumbled out. “Thanks.”

“No worries.” Rainbow chuckled. “Can't have my adopted mum hurting herself can I?”

If the strength had been within her, Starlight would have leapt skyward at that. As it was, she contented herself with letting out a quiet snort. “I think you're a bigger hooffull than I can handle.”

Rainbow tightened her grip slightly and Starlight felt herself jostled as she shook her head. “I doubt it. Scootaloo got her awesomeness from somewhere, and it sure wasn't her father.”

Possessing no desire to enter into that particular discussion, Starlight remained silent.“You've done the hard part, and now we can just take it easy for a bit. Like Scootaloo said, when we became sisters everything just fell into place. It doesn't have to be something scary.”

“I'm not scared...” Starlight mumbled, eyelids fluttering as she slumped even lower. She had guessed that Rainbow had been listening, since she had shown up here. “I'm too tired to be scared, too tired for anything, yet I still keep thinking...still keep doing.” Not wanting to remain helpless, she pushed herself to try and rise. “I just... can't fail again.”

Briefly, she struggled against Rainbow's hold, trying to get back to her hooves. Rather than stop her, as Twilight would, Rainbow helped her make the climb. Several times her legs threatened to betray her but Rainbow's support prevented her from falling. Now looking directly into Starlight's eyes, Rainbow said softly. “You won't fail. I know you, and I know Scootaloo, but running yourself into the ground is not going to help. Hmmph, you and Twilight are a lot alike, you know that? Besides both being eggheads I mean.”

“Don't tell her you said that.” Starlight laughed breathlessly, but Rainbow's face remained serious.

“I mean it, and it's not an insult. Why do you think I pushed you to tell Scootaloo tonight?” Without giving Starlight time to even begin to answer, she pressed on. “I knew you could do it, and I knew it would be better for everyone. That's done now, and everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

With Starlight leaning heavily on Rainbow, they walked out of the bathroom. Then with a firm, dominating nudge, Rainbow steered Starlight away from the ongoing party and deeper into the castle. This time, Starlight did resist, digging her hooves into the crystal beneath her. Throwing her own well being to the winds for one last act, she somehow found the strength to override Rainbow's pull. “W-wait... I...just want to say goodnight to Scootaloo.”

Without a word, Rainbow changed direction once again. At her insistence, Starlight waited outside and Rainbow entered the party alone. She emerged with Scootaloo in tow and Starlight could almost sense Twilight's presence hovering at the very edge of her haze. Reaching out, Starlight gently pulled Scootaloo into a hug, which was quickly returned. She leaned down and brushed her snout through the scruffy magenta mane. “Just wanted to say goodnight. I'll see you in the morning. Promise.”

“I know.” Scootaloo whispered, face buried in Starlight's chest fur. It was so soft and comforting, something she had not really noticed before. In all her time with them, Starlight had never really been one for hugs, until now. Scootaloo decided that she rather liked this little change.

Never one to extend mushy stuff, and knowing that Starlight really needed sleep, Scootaloo backed away. Tomorrow would be a lot more fun for both of them, with all of this behind them. They both had a long time to catch up, tonight was only the beginning. Turning on heel, Scootaloo went to rejoin her friends, as Rainbow led Starlight towards her bedroom.

Pushing open Starlight's door, Rainbow led the unicorn inside and over towards the small bed pressed against the far left wall. Taking the not so subtle hint, Starlight clambered into it, sinking into the soft mattress. The moment her head hit her pillow, the her limbs seemed to glue themselves to the sheets and the last thing she felt was a blanket being draped over her. Rainbow pulled away, as Starlight was claimed by sleep. A peaceful look passed across her face, before everything around her faded into black. Satisfied, Rainbow left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

By the time Rainbow returned, the party had been all but packed away. Everyone had begun to say their goodbyes, saving their strength for the real deal tomorrow. Taking Scootaloo under her wing, Rainbow waited until she had the filly's attention, then asked lightly. “How about you come stay at my place tonight?”

It was a thinly veiled offer that Scootaloo saw straight through. She knew Rainbow was just trying to look out for her, in case she suddenly became overwhelmed. Even if the reasoning was transparent, Scootaloo was grateful, and gladly agreed. It was essentially a sleepover with Rainbow Dash after all. “Sure! That'd be awesome.”

Rainbow dropped to her knees, allowing Scootaloo to quickly take up a perch on her back. Bidding Twilight and Spike a good night, the pair took to the air and left for the open skies. Twilight let a smile form on her face, watching them leave. Tomorrow was looking to be a much better day than the past two already, and Twilight was going to make sure that was the case. With Spike's assurance that he would deal with the washing up, Twilight stole towards Starlight's room.

As quietly as possible, she slipped inside and crept over to the sleeping mare. Though spells had been ineffective in the past, Twilight felt it was worth it to at least try. Weaving the most powerful sleeping spell she could think of, and laid it over Starlight. The unicorn's body glowed briefly, then returned to normal, as the spell took effect. Now came part two of Twilight's plan. Squeezing herself into the remaining space, Twilight laid down next to her student, wings gently hugging her close. After a while, both were sound asleep, sleeping away the stresses of the last two days. Tomorrow would definitely be better, it just had to be...

Author's Note

And there's Chapter 9. Now that everything is settled, the next arc will start. Hopefully this one will be won't be quite as heavy on the emotional side, though with how things go it probably won't be light either. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I'll try and get the next one out soon. Thanks for your continued support, have a nice day everyone!

Too much?

As Starlight started to drift slowly towards the waking world, she became acutely aware of something soft and warm pressing against her. Groggy, and debating trying to sink back into slumber, she pushed the thought away. However, as she became more lucid, the pieces began to fall into place... Someone was in her bed! Electricity surged through her, jolting her entire body to life. Instinct kicked in, and her magic flared brightly, lashing outwards blindly.

A repulsive barrier expanded from her horn, shoving everything away from her. Simultaneously, a teleportation spell warped her away from the source of her panic. Unfortunately, she ended up with her hooves planted firmly on the ceiling, only for gravity to take offense to her blatant disregard for its laws. The floor came rushing up to meet her and she landed on her hindquarters with a loud thump.

Rear throbbing and ears ringing, Starlight groaned and lifted herself up off the floor. On the other side of her bed, Twilight did the same. Being thrown against a wall was an unpleasant affair the alicorn had experienced many times, and the every time she gained unwanted knowledge of just how many places her body possessed that could experience pain. Realisation struck Starlight like a sack of bricks, colour draining from her face. She had just thrown her mentor, and best friend, against her bedroom wall. Scrabbling around to the other side of the bed, she found a very scrambled alicorn trying to recover from her rude awakening.

Twilight moaned pitifully, her faculties having not quite returned to her. Dazed and disorientated, she looked up at Starlight with an adorable pout forming on her face. It was an expression that would melt even the hardest of hearts, and the quivering bottom lip completed the picture. “Just five more minutes mum... I nearly finished this time.”

Furrowing her brow, Starlight reached forwards and gently poked the end of Twilight's nose. It had the desired effect, and after blinking three times, Twilight seemed to realise what was going on, judging by the fierce blush that coloured her cheeks. A nervous giggle escaped unbidden from her throat, and she realised that Starlight was looking similarly sheepish, ears pinned back and eyes averted. “Sorry. I, got a bit carried away,” she chuckled, looking around at the state of her room. Not a single item was still in its proper place.

Twilight chuckled, soreness all but forgotten. “It's fine. I should have expected it. You must be feeling better if you have that much energy.”

Nodding eagerly, Starlight smiled brightly. Her formerly dull tired eyes now flashed with their usual vitality, and words were no longer an effort. “I'm guessing you had something to do with that?” she surmised, quickly setting her room back to normal. The state of disarray was aggravating.

Twilight dipped her head in confirmation, ducking expertly to avoid a stray picture frame floating just above her head. “Yeah. I tried a sleeping spell, but I decided to stay with you in case well...it didn't work, again.”

“Be thankful it did,” Starlight laughed, letting her horn fade when her room was once again orderly and correct. “Or I would have woken you up in the middle of the night. At least the sun's out this time.”

“True. Though I don't think I'll be recommending you as an alarm clock any time soon.” Twilight chuckled as Starlight pulled a very exaggerated face of feigned hurt. “Most ponies like to wake up in their bed, or at least a bed.”

Dropping the facade, Starlight chortled and made her way over to her mirror. Thankfully, whatever Rarity had done when styling her mane had made it pretty resilient. Running her brush through the strands to clear a very slight bed head, she decided to point out, “Yes, but neither of us are very good at that. The library is more convenient I think you've said more than once.” She took a breath, stopping briefly to work on a particularly irksome knot. “I honestly have no idea how you sleep like that.” Finishing with her mane, she moved over and passed the brush to Twilight.

Taking the offered seat, Twilight gave her own mane a brisk run through to get it in order. No matter how much Rarity tried to convince her otherwise, her mane did not need to be extravagantly styled, just because she was a princess. “Years of practise. I was studying so much even when I was young, it just kind of stopped affecting me. Even so, Shining Armour never ceased trying to break the habit, until his duties in the Royal Guard pulled him away.”

Twilight's face relaxed into a blank dreamy stare as she reminisced. Her days before moving to Ponyville had been lonely in comparison but no matter what, her family had always been there for her. A family which had only expanded with time.

Their banter was interrupted by a loud knocking at the door, which Twilight had personally enchanted to reverberate any summons across the whole castle. A useful spell, though one that was hardly ever used since their most frequent visitors, her friends, simply walked straight in. Technically, this was there castle as well. Placing Starlight's brush back on her dresser, Twilight stood up and gave herself a stretch. “Do you want to go see it is, or shall I?”

“It's your castle,” Starlight shrugged, absently watching Twilight stretch. At least it seemed like her magical mishap had not caused too much damage.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight quietly wondered how someone could be so talented, cunning and oblivious all at once. She stood up and started towards the hallway, looking over her shoulder at Starlight after a moment. “Yes, but I'm pretty sure we both know who it is.”

Mouth sculpting a perfect circle, Starlight let out a small, “Oh.” Straightening herself, she coughed to try and mask her blunder. “Yeah I think I'll take this one.”

Twilight listened to the sound of Starlight's rapid hoofsteps fade into the distance. If all went well, then perhaps the castle would have one more resident arriving soon, a thought which filled her with excitement. The place really was too empty. Starlight herself did go a long way to rectifying that, two powerful mages could certainly make their presence known. Even so, more company was never unwelcome.

Starlight reached the door, just as another round of insistent knocking resonated around the castle. She could almost feel the impatience bleeding through the door, a sure sign that it really was Rainbow behind it. This caused her heart to flutter, forcing her to swallow before the organ jumped out of her mouth. Now that it had the energy to, she was not as sure as she should have been that it would not actually do so.

Yet another bout of knocking pulled her from her thoughts, eyes narrowing in annoyance. Suppressing the urge to magically transfigure the door's hinges so that it would swing outwards and smack Rainbow in the face was perhaps harder than it should have been. Before the brash pegasus could sway her any more towards violent tenancies, Starlight swung the door open. She came face to face with an irate Rainbow Dash, and a Scootaloo who looked perhaps as nervous as she felt.

“Ugh finally!” Rainbow groaned, thrusting her hooves into the air and letting out a loud huff. “We've been waiting here for ages.”

“It's a big castle,” Starlight shot back. “I'm still not convinced that it isn't actually bigger on the inside, but I can't magically prove it. Anyway, you never knock. You usually just barge right in no matter what time it is.” She said the last part rather pointedly, as this habit of Rainbow's had been the cause of more than one very awkward moment.

Completely unabashed, Rainbow dropped to the ground and affectionately ruffled Scootaloo's mane. “Yeah, but Scoots was a little nervous so we thought it might be better to knock. In case you were still asleep and all that.”

The aforementioned filly gave a half shrug, smiling toothily and awkwardly. Smiling softly in return, Starlight chuckled. “To be honest, I almost was, for once.” A cool breeze tousling her mane brought her attention to the fact they were still standing in the doorway. “Anyway! Enough about my sleeping habits. Rainbow sleeps enough for more than one pony anyway. Come in!”

“Wait, you have problems sleeping?” Scootaloo asked, edging her way through the doorway.

Not wanting to add to her daughter's nerves, or her own, with any loud noises, Starlight quietly closed the huge doors behind them. “Uhhh, in a way. It's been getting better but I've never been a great sleeper, ever since I was a filly...” She froze, dread seeping into her tone, and her eyes. “Uh...Please tell me I didn't pass that on to you.”

Waving a hoof, Scootaloo shot the notion down immediately. “Pfft! No way! I sleep like a rock.” Immediately, Starlight sagged slightly as relief flooded her, but Scootaloo was not quite done “Well... most of the time. As long as there's no Headless Horses or Olden Ponies are trying to get me.” Even though the memory was long behind her, and both Luna and Rainbow Dash had helped her face her imaginary fears, her eyes still darted around nervously, lingering on every shadow.

Rainbow sniggered slightly behind a hoof, observing the conversation from her vantage point. She was about to bring up the river incident, but noticed Starlight had donned a faraway look and started veer slightly off her course. Whatever thought had just struck her, she had been sucked so deeply into it that the outside world had ceased to exist. When she finally emerged, her voice was distant. “I...I don't think I've ever actually heard of those.”

Both pegasi did a double take, Rainbow almost fell to earth. Blinking once, Starlight flicked her eyes between them, bewildered. “Uh. What?”

“I thought everyone knew those stories.” Scootaloo admitted, slowing her pace so Starlight could rejoin them. With the ice now thoroughly broken, she found herself able to relax and enjoy the familiarity. “Everyone in class knows about it.”

“I heard them when I was a filly too, and so did Twilight. Even Fluttershy heard those stories, though admittedly she heard them from me.” A touch of crimson passed across Rainbow's face at the unflattering memory. That had not been one of her proudest moments. Furiously, she wiped at her cheeks to remove the red stain of embarrassment from them.

“Huh...I see... The village I grew up in was pretty isolated. So, I guess those sorts of stories never really reached me. Sunburst and I were the only ponies our age and his parents were pretty quiet.” Starlight giggled softly, a tinkling sound of mirth that glanced off the crystal walls. Almost immediately afterwards her eyes darkened, the drastic change startling her two companions. “My parents were... let's just say I don't have fond memories.”

Sharing a nervous glance, Scootaloo and Rainbow tried to silently discuss what to do with that situation. Their success was limited. Suddenly, Starlight straightened up, ears pointing rigidly towards the ceiling. “Anyway, let's not talk about that. Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. Hmmm...” She tapped the side of her mouth with the tip of a hoof. “Anyway! What do we have to do today? I kind of have a very hazy memory of last night?”

That was a lie, she knew exactly what they had discussed last night, but had no way to recover from her lapse in mood otherwise. This was simply the most efficient way to veer the conversation back in the right direction. Shrugging dismissively, Rainbow and Scootaloo turned back to the unicorn. It was the elder pegasus who spoke up. “Well, we gotta explain what's just happened to the orphanage, Pinkie Pie is probably planning a massive entire town party as we speak, and you two need to hang out.” As she spoke, the cyan pegasus shoved Scootaloo towards Starlight. Taken off guard, Scootaloo was thrown forwards, stumbling all the way. Almost instinctively, Starlight surrounded the young pony in her teal aura and carefully righted her balance.

Glaring at Rainbow, who was wearing a wide, cocky grin, Starlight said flatly. “Not how I'd put it, but yes now I remember. Okay.” She ran a hoof through her mane, pressing the voluminous hair tightly against her head. “First things first..The orphanage. It's only right that they know what's going on. Before Pinkie Pie throws a massive party that will likely reach all the way to the Crystal Empire. Ugh this is going to be fun... I've never even met them...”

“Merry Heart and Golden Roots are really nice,” Scootaloo cut in, having recovered from Rainbow's forceful method of suggestion. “Everyone in the orphanage loves them. I'm sure they'll understand.”

“Well I hope so...” Starlight whispered, smiling at the encouragement. The task ahead was still a daunting one, but every little helped. Before she could say any more, a low rumble interrupted her. This was accompanied by an empty feeling, as if her stomach had suddenly vanished. Eating had been low on her priorities while on her hunt and now her body was protesting, loudly. “Though first I think I need something to eat. Did you two eat already?”

In answer, Rainbow's stomach echoed Starlight's, emitting an audible snarl. Rolling her eyes, Starlight altered their destination to the kitchens. There would probably be leftovers, if not she would have to find Twilight. Or, she could brave the kitchen herself and look the fool. Sighing, she fervently hoped there would be leftovers.

Luckily, the mountain of pancakes she had mistakenly made earlier came to her aid. Twilight was already in the kitchen, helping herself to the stuffed pantry. Seeing the group, she added several extra pancakes to the platter and waved them over. Everyone was ravenous, and the platter was polished off in no time at all.

“Wow, that was good!” Scootaloo exclaimed, leaning back and rubbing her full stomach contentedly.

“Starlight made them,” Twilight immediately put in, before the aforementioned mare could even speak. Feeling herself starting to turn red, Starlight quickly busied herself with cleaning.

Never missing the opportunity for a good jibe, Rainbow cracked an eye open from where she was lounging and let out a chuckle. “I thought you were useless in the kitchen. Pinkie could tell us some tales.”

Not missing a beat, Starlight flicked a drop of soapy water at the pegasus. The startled jump she caused satisfied her and she absently returned to cleaning. “You really think Pinkie would let me live my life without being able to bake? I can make something edible now, just not keep the kitchen in one piece...” Finished with the washing, she expertly shoved the now sparkling dishes into their proper places. “Then again neither can she.”

“Mostly that's just when she gets excited,” Twilight reasoned, before realising what she had just said. Shrugging her wings, she added. “Which admittedly, is most of the time.”

“Exactly,” Starlight laughed, moving back to the table. Restlessness forced her to stand rather than sit, something which was noticed almost immediately. With everyone shooting her a quizzical stare, she sighed and attempted a brittle half smile. “I'm not exactly looking forward to this next part...”

Standing outside of the orphanage, Starlight felt as if her body was going to shake itself apart. Despite the rapidly waxing sun, she was shivering uncontrollably. Below the skin, her blood was running cold. Whatever relief she had felt before was now scattered in the winds, overshadowed by her building fear. Swallowing the recurring lump in her throat, Starlight pushed open the door. The tinkling of a bell greeted her action, echoing into the quiet entryway.

Within only a few moments, a friendly, welcoming voice echoed back. “I'll be right there!” Loud shuffling punctuated the statement, as if a pony had just begun to hurry in their work.

Sitting down did nothing to steady her nerves, but it did stop the shaking in Starlight's legs. Why had she insisted on coming here alone? What false pride had made her do something so foolish? Even as she considered those questions, she could not find it within herself to bail. This was hers to do. In an effort to distract her mind during the wait, she let her eyes take in the scenery. The room was brightly lit, thanks to several large windows allowing the sun to stream in. A large couch and three stools sat against one wall, but Starlight had no desire to go to them. By far the most striking feature, were the multitude of pictures that covered almost every inch of the wooden walls.

Starlight found herself staring at them, every one drawn by hoof. The talent ranged from crayon scribbles, to intricate masterpieces. Even so, none was given pride of place, none were more important than the other. Soon, her vision blurred, blending the individual sketches into a mass of colour. Wiping her eyes, Starlight was not surprised to find that her hoof came back glistening with tears... “Keep it together Starlight. You got this...” she muttered, though her words did little to soothe her. They never did. The sound of hoofsteps caused her to look up. At least she had already dried her eyes.

Standing before her, was a bright royal blue earth pony mare with a sky blue mane and tail, both of which she kept fairly short. However, unlike Rainbow Dash, short did not mean messy and the silky strands were obviously properly taken care of. Her build was fairly average for a mare, though she was slightly shorter than Starlight was. A line-less face that held all of the vitality of youth was betrayed by emerald eyes which had seen years of heartache. Starlight assumed this was Merry Heart.

“Hello dear, is there something I can help you with?” the mare asked kindly, though for a brief moment she appeared bewildered. It was very rare for the orphanage to receive visitors, and those that did appear were all ponies she had known for years, donators and the like. The mare that she now looked upon, was a stranger. Though she had seen her around town, no one in Ponyville really knew anything about her. All anyone knew was that she was the student of Princess Twilight, and was currently living inside the castle. Regardless, she did strive to resolve any complaint or query as professionally and pleasantly as she could, no matter where it came from.

Scrabbling to her feet, Starlight winced as her frantic motions sent a small wooden stool tumbling towards the ground. The loud clatter tore through her ears, intensified by her already raw nerves. Tensing her muscles to stop the quivering of her limbs, Starlight forced herself to smile widely as she magically righted the stool. “Hi...yeah, I think you can. Well, I hope so anyway. It's just a little...complicated. Actually, very complicated.”

That had been pathetic, and she knew it. Her voice was stiff and unnatural, and she had barely been able to stop trembling. Apparently, her outward facade had held more than she assumed, as the mare simply smiled and nodded. “I see. Well, we can talk in my office and I'm sure everything can be sorted. My husband is currently seeing to some of the children. Do you need to see him as well?”

“Huh? Oh...well, no...I don't think so.” Starlight shook her head, a little too vigorously. Merry Heart nodded and turned to move deeper into the building. Starlight followed the older mare down a brightly lit hallway and through the first door, which was graciously held open for her. Several other doors lined the hallways, all adorned with small golden number plates. If she had to guess, Starlight assumed those would be the rooms.

When directed to, Starlight sat in a comfortable looking chair opposite polished wooden desk. Everything about this place was so clean, yet somehow managed to retain a homely feel within the walls. No pictures were present in this room, something she was eternally grateful for. Her racing heart would not be able to take any more cracking right now.

Rather than sitting herself, Merry Heart moved over to a small wooden cabinet and began pulling out the necessary supplies for providing refreshments. She found it made the more unpleasant meetings go more smoothly, and her intuition told her this would be one of those. She really hoped that one of the children had not been causing trouble. Unfortunately such things did happen occasionally. “Would you like a cup of tea?” she asked, beginning to pour one for herself.

“Tea sounds nice, thanks,” Starlight answered, as politely as she could manage. She was still forcing the smile to stay on her face, no matter how much it was starting to hurt.

Merry Heart nodded, and started to pour boiling water into a second mug, asking as she did so, “Do you take milk or sugar?”

By now, Starlight was trying to collect herself, regulating her breathing and loosening her muscles. Now that the mare's back was turned, this would be her only opportunity to momentarily drop her guard. Twilight had stressed to her that she would have to remain calm, which was proving easier said than done. When Merry Heart returned, she set the two mugs down, one for Starlight and one for herself.

For a moment, Starlight did nothing, focused completely on her task. She had been selfish with her emotions, letting them show. Now she needed to keep them in, for Scootaloo's sake. For now, they were her burden and hers alone. Composure now set, insecurity and doubt hidden behind a well practised mask, Starlight raised her head. Merry Heart was quietly stirring her tea, watching her from over the table. Clearing her throat, Starlight lifted her own mug and held it to herself, the warmth pleasant against her skin. “Thanks.”

“No problem dear,” Merry Heart replied, sipping her own tea, laden with milk and three helpings of sugar. “I don't think we've met. I'm Merry Heart.” Removing a hoof from her mug, she extended it over the desk towards Starlight.

Taking the offered hoof, Starlight shook it lightly. As soon as she felt it was appropriate she withdrew back to herself. “Starlight Glimmer. I heard about you from Scootaloo.”

Merry Heart took a small breath, and gave a long, slow nod, as if this was not news to her. “I see. Usually Rainbow Dash is the one who comes in on Scootaloo's behalf. Those two are so good together. What seems to be the problem?” The tone was jovial, but could not quite mask the layer of concern from Starlight's expert ears.

Placing her mug back on the desk with a small thunk, Starlight closed her eyes briefly. The words hitched in her throat, requiring several attempts before she could say, barely above a whisper, “As I said, it's complicated.” She really should have planned this out, that had been too close. Her mask had almost cracked, she had not been ready to do this alone...

Then she thought back to everyone, who had expressed their faith in her. After being convinced that she would not be swayed, they had all been encouraging and supportive, as they had been throughout this ordeal. Folding her forelegs across her chest, she reopened her eyes and said in a slightly stronger voice. “It's actually, well...it's about why she's here.”

That caught Merry Heart off guard. Her eyes widened and the grip on her mug tightened. Regaining herself, she began to study Starlight more closely than before. This was not just a simple complaint, or query. This certainly would be complicated. Placing her hooves on the desk, she pressed them together and pursed her lips into a thin line. “I admit Ms Glimmer, you have me intrigued. What precisely do you mean by that dear?”

Ignoring the slight bristling of irritation she felt at being continually referred to as dear, Starlight wrung her hooves together. The desk hid the motion, allowing her that small modicum of release. To give her hooves something to do before they slipped again, Starlight took a small drink of her tea. She swirled the burning leafy taste around in her mouth. Her throat now wetted, she felt as ready as she ever would. “Well, as crazy as this is going to sound... I have learned very recently who Scootaloo's parents are.” Perhaps dancing around the bush was a horrible idea, but her tongue would not let her say the words she needed to immediately. Not just yet.

To her credit, Merry Heart kept herself composed, despite the outlandish claim. After eleven years, the prospect of reuniting an orphan with her parents became a distant hope. Scootaloo herself had long since stopped bringing the subject up. Her brow furrowed, marring the perfect friendly demeanour she had been projecting. Obviously, this was a delicate matter, and would have to be explored thoroughly. “I see Ms Glimmer... May I ask how you came by this information? This is rather unprecedented, I'm sure you understand.”

Starlight forced herself to take a deep breath, a knotted tightness throbbing in her chest as she did so. Her mug she placed back on the desk, to pre-emptively prevent any breakages. Merry Heart's gaze was weighted, bordering on accusatory, despite the friendly aura the mare still radiated. In a flat tone, ironed clean of any emotion, the unicorn said quietly. “I found out while looking for my own daughter...who I lost eleven years ago.”

Merry Heart was sharp, Starlight had to admit that. Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, she heard a sharp gasp from across the desk. This was followed by the distinct sound of shattering crockery, as the enamel mug fell from Merry Heart's hooves and struck the floor. Shards of enamel and splashes of hot tea spread all over the wood, though the mess was hidden by the desk and subsequently ignored. A long silence stretched between the two strangers, as Starlight allowed time for her meaning to be fully grasped.

After what felt like hours, the stillness was broken by the harsh sound of shuffling paper. Distressed, Merry Heart had taken to rifling through files in a nearby metal cabinet, eventually pulling out a large plain green folder, unmarked except for a name and date. The name was Scootaloo, the date barely a year after Starlight had given birth. Once more, a hot surge of anger blazed within Starlight but none leaked through her collected mask. Inside, she was beginning to crack, but her outer visage remained as stone.

The next question Merry Heart asked, would put an end to her dancing. It was direct and pointed, leaving no room for deviation. “I see... and how are the two situations related?” The cordiality was still there, but underneath Starlight detected something else. A slight sadness, or at least a level of empathy. Starlight did not know if that made it easier, or harder...

Another involuntary swallow shook her shoulders, defying her attempts to suppress it. She knew what she needed to do, but every other attempt had torn her in two. Forcing herself to remain calm, and logical, she quickly began to filter out every unnecessary detail. It would shorten the ordeal and increase her chances of success.

She knew what she had to say, knew everything that she had to accomplish. The words were running through her head, whirring past in a blur. A blur that quickly overwhelmed her. No matter how much she tried to wrench control back, it continued to slip further and further from her grasp. Panicked, she gripped her head, as if the pressure of her hooves would somehow keep everything together.

Her feeble efforts were fruitless, and no matter how hard she squeezed, her thoughts only became more jumbled. Desperate, she tried to blurt out, blurt out anything that would explain the situations. Instead all she got was a garbled mess, as Merry Heart looked on, at a silent loss for anything to say. The confused, concerned stare burned into Starlight more than a hot scowl of anger ever could.

Still trapped in the throes of her despair, Starlight did something she would regret for the rest of her life. Unbidden, her magic had gathered at her horn, in such a massive concentration that it begged to be released. It had responded to her growing desire to flee, to run. In a moment of weakness, she gave in. She passed the point of no return, and in a blinding flash of light, her body was displaced.

Shaking violently, she continued clutching her throbbing temples, eyes squeezed shut. Before she even felt the cool breeze on her face she knew that she was far away from where she had been moments ago. Her eyelids quivered momentarily, then cracked open. When they did, she almost shut them again. Out of everywhere, she could have thought of...why here? Why had her subconscious mind dragged her here?

She was right in the epicentre of her largest ever mistake, her creation that never should have been. She was standing in a large, perfectly straight street, with a row of houses lining each other sides. The symmetry was perfect, each side having the exact same number of houses. Every house was uniform in size and shape, just as she had ordered it. Without the flamboyant decorations of the Sunset Festival, the place looked far too similar to how it had back then.

Once more, she readied another teleportation spell, no one had noticed her yet...somehow. If she was quick enough then it would all be fine. She could get back to Ponyville and- the thought was interrupted by a sudden explosion. It was as if something had ruptured within her head, radiating a searing heat. Where there had once been a blur of confusion there was now an eruption of agony, sending shards of shrapnel deep into her nervous system. This was worse than anything she had felt so far, it was as if her head was trying to tear itself in two. A myriad of colour flared behind her eyes, accompanied by a crashing waterfall that seemed to rage against her very eardrums. Blind and deaf from pain, she did not hear her own scream or see the ponies rushing towards her...

Author's Note

And here's the next chapter. A little deviation from what I actually had planned but the more I thought, the more everything was going too quickly. Starlight needs to be able to slow down and think about this, while not in an exhausted blur. This is maybe a little drastic but look who we're talking about here. Hehe, anyway, I hope you all understand and enjoy anyway. If you don't, feel free to tell me why and I'll try to take it on board. Have a nice day all!

It's My Burden.

Locked tightly in her cell of unbearable agony, Starlight was oblivious to the steadily growing crowd. Her rapidly fracturing mind was struggling to repair itself, only to rupture from a completely different spot in her mental landscape. Forked crackles of electricity blasted through her memories, splintering the thoughts into a myriad of fragments. Searing white fault lines were left behind, forcibly separating what should have been intimately connected.

Then, without precedence or reason, the agony slowly began to recede. The web of scorching fissures began to fade, cooling from a blinding white to a dull, dying red. There, they smouldered, as the fragments of Starlight's consciousness slowly stitched back together.

Even with the pain reduced to a dull throb, Starlight could not describe herself as feeling fine, or anything remotely close to that. Her mouth was filled with the vile taste of iron, her breaths were ragged, with each one stabbing at her oxygen deprived lungs and her whole body felt feverish. Though, her physical condition was nothing to the guilt, self loathing and despair battling for dominance inside her.

With momentous effort, she was able to put one hoof in front of the other. The next step was another matter, and she pitched forwards into the dirt. Her face would have slammed into the dusty ground, which would only escalate her misery, if not for the timely intervention of another pony. Starlight found all of her weight suddenly supported by what felt like someone's back. The momentary relief allowed her to regain just enough strength to sink to her haunches, in a slightly more dignified manner than she would have previously.

Now that she could properly feel her surroundings again, she blinked rapidly, eyelids fluttering to clear her sapphire eyes. Blurred shapes started to appear in her vision, swaying and multiplying arbitrarily. Panic began to once again rise within her as she realised that no amount of blinking would bring anything into focus.

Party Favour looked down at the pony who had once held him and all the others under an iron hoof. To see her now, he would never have believed she was capable of such tyranny if he had not been witness to it. He reached out to place a comforting hoof on her shoulder, it was the only thing he could think to do, only to quickly shrink back in alarm when she frantically tried to scramble away from his touch.

Realising the severity of the situation, Night Glider lept into action. Her raspy, commanding voice overshadowed the murmurs of the onlookers, forcing all attention onto her as she flew over the crowd. “Right! C'mon everypony! Nothing to see here! Back up a bit! Unless you all want to end up flat on your haunches again!”

There were two things the citizens of Our Town knew all too well; one did not not cross Night Glider when she was being serious and, more recently, one did not overwhelm a distressed Starlight Glimmer. As if someone had just let off a stink bomb the crowd dispersed, leaving Starlight alone with the four who had been instrumental in her first defeat.

Finally, whatever fog had been obscuring Starlight's senses was lifted, and one last swipe of her eyelids revealed the world around her, back as it should be. Staggering to her hooves, she tried to ignore the relentless pounding still wearing away at her brain and form a coherent sentence. She had to try and alleviate this situation, before it escalated. Considering her previous failure, she counted herself lucky that she was able to force out what she did. “S-sorry...teleport, went a little wrong...”

It was not exactly a lie, but their concerned looks told her that she was not fooling anyone. Anger flared up within her. Pity was the last thing she needed right now. As she tried to force her tongue to articulate that there was nothing to worry about, another stabbing pain shot through her head and cut her off. “I-Inside now...please...” she whimpered, using as little words as possible to avoid aggravating her head any further.

“My bakery is the closest...” she heard Sugar Belle say, the kindly mare's voice laced with worry. Double Diamond and Party Favour nodded and together they helped shoulder Starlight towards the bakery.

Sugar Belle rushed ahead and opened the door, ushering them inside. Having dealt with the crowd, Night Glider sped in as well. Starlight slumped as soon as she was able to, sprawling herself onto the floor. Sugar Belle quickly flipped the open sign to the closed position, then shut the door. Now in the cool shade, the four villagers turned to their former leader.

“What was that?” Double Diamond asked, breaking the ice when it was clear no one else knew what to say.

“The result of several powerful spells being broken...” Starlight answered flatly, moving into a sitting position. Her head still throbbed dully, but the ache was much more subdued. Her faculties were hers to command again. “It's nothing you need to worry about...”

The four ponies exchanged nervous glances. Before Starlight could ask what the problem was, Night Glider practically exploded. “What do you mean its nothing we need to worry about? You popped in front of us with the biggest headache I've ever seen! Do you know how long you were standing there?” she asked, ending up in Starlight's face for the last part.

Starlight would have backed away, if she had not already been using the wall for support. All she could do was turn her head, as Night Glider's frustration struck her cheek. “N-No...I don't.” She had a distinct feeling that she was not going to like the answer.

“Twenty minutes!” Night Glider hissed, backing up and throwing her forelegs into the air. She winced as one hoof struck the ceiling, but carried on unimpeded. “You were out for twenty minutes, and not one of us was able to rouse you! What kind of spell causes that?”

Stunned, Starlight looked down at her hooves, not surprised to find them trembling. For twenty minutes she had been completely dead to the world, while her mind had some kind of magical meltdown. Twilight had been right, breaking those spells so forcefully had been foolish. Realising that she was still required to answer, Starlight swallowed. “Uh... memory spells specifically... I needed some answers and I might've forced them upon myself too early...” In a much lower voice, which even she could barely hear, she added, “In more ways than one.”

Before Night Glider could retort, Sugar Belle stepped in with a more levelled approach. “Is there anything we can do? To stop it happening again? I... I don't think I could watch that again...”

Hearing the distress in her fellow unicorn's voice, Starlight felt her heart sink like a stone. Sorrow filled her but she had to shake her head, then immediately stop as the action brought forth another bout of stabbing pain. “I don't really know. I only remember some of the spells I cast, some were completely made up. I'll just have to hope it was a one-time thing. Well, two-time thing.”

“It's happened before?” Party Favour asked, prompting Starlight to turn to him.

She nodded, slowly and deliberately before continuing in a matter of fact voice. “Yeah. Once, though that one had a catalyst. I'd basically found what I was looking for.”

Still bubbling with concerned frustration, Night Glider flared up again. “Okay so, what was it? You keep beating around the bush with this! What were you looking for? And why did it drive you here? Why did-” her tirade was quickly interrupted by Double Diamond.

“One question at a time,” he said, his deep accented voice leaving no room for arguments.

Night Glider fell silent, lowering herself to just above the ground, forelegs folded as she stared intensely at Starlight. For a moment, Starlight withered under the steely gaze. Closing her eyes, she shut out the small bakery and looked in on herself. She knew she would not be able to tell them, not while keeping her composure anyway. To try would only drive her deeper into the dark hole she had dug herself into. She had dragged enough ponies down with her already...

An expectant air hung over the room, as they waited patiently, or impatiently in Night Glider's case, for her answer. Starlight tasted bile in her mouth, the acrid liquid burning her throat and melding with the lingering taste of blood. Swallowing, she shook her head firmly, ignoring both the pain in her head and the retching sensation trying to make her gag. “I...I can't answer that,” she said quietly, pushing off the wall and walking past them. “It's just... something I need to solve on my own.”

“Can't we help?” Party Favour asked, even as he was frozen in place, watching the lilac unicorn walk around the room.

Much more forcefully than she intended, Starlight barked out, “No!” Immediately, she recoiled. Every one of the four had flinched visibly at her outburst. No matter how much time had passed, or how jovial their interactions had been during the Sunset Festival and no matter how much they forgave her, the ponies of Our Town would always be wary of her. That only strengthened her resolve to keep her problems her own but she proceeded more tactfully. “I'm sorry... it's just, not something I can talk about. Things have spread too far already... I can't let anyone else get involved...”

She trailed off, slumping against the wall as she tried to think up a solution, any solution. She owed it to everyone, to Scootaloo, she had to be the one to fix this mess. Her head was only hindering her, it had not yet relented in its constant throbbing. Whatever she had done to herself, was going to be persistent. If only she was back at the library, she might be able to find a spell to at least alleviate the agony. Her ears perked up. A spell...that was it! If memory served her, she still had some books in her old house that would be of some use.

“Got it!” she exclaimed suddenly, shattering the uncomfortable silence. All queasiness forgotten, she launched herself out of the door. Her four friends were left behind, as Starlight charged through the long street. Several ponies stopped to stare but none tried to interrupt her. The hard look in her eyes persuaded them that would be a bad idea.

Upon reaching her old home, Starlight skidded to a halt. The door was still lying flat, having not moved since Night Glider had knocked it down. Now moving much more slowly, Starlight stepped into the abandoned building. This was where her old life had started to unravel.

Desiring a little privacy, she unceremoniously grabbed the fallen door and slammed it back into place. The hinges quickly reattached to the walls and the lock clicked into place. Several hacking coughs shook her very core, as the billowing clouds of dust she had inadvertently stirred up tried to take shelter in her lungs.

Her old domicile was covered in the clogging substance. It clung to every nook and cranny, forming a thick blanket over her past. It seemed so, surreal...to be back here of all places. In all of her previous visits, she had avoided it like the plague. She had done so many horrific things in this place and was about to do another. Taking care not to disturb anything else, Starlight quietly moved into the room. Her path was marked by her hoofprints in the carpet of dust, just like her mistakes marked her path through life.

“It's been a while...” she muttered, gently touching a small stool. It was distinctly unremarkable, as everything would have been under her vision. Equestria would have been just like the stool, plain and boring. Without even bothering to brush away the dust, Starlight flopped down onto the small chair and leaned her chin on a hoof. “Back then I might have been completely despicable, but at least I knew what I was doing!”

Her frustration shook the small cottage, dislodging even more irritating dust. Annoyed, Starlight got back to her hooves and began to stalk around the home, horn aglow. Her spell spread across every surface, mercilessly erasing any dust that the agitated unicorn threw up in her wake. Soon the old home was as clean as the day she had left it.

Usually, restoring order left her with a glow of satisfaction but today she felt only sorrow, if it was there it had been lost in the hollow pit gouged into her heart. In a feeble attempt to lighten her dark mood, she snorted, “Well at least I won't choke just by moving anymore. Now... I guess I should get to work. I need to fix this.”

At that, Starlight began to mow through her sparse belongings. The mindless, meandering search put a lot less strain on her fragile mind than trying to memorise where she had left her books. If she threw her belongings around enough, sparse as they were, she would find what she was looking for eventually.

On her second pass, she heard it. The faint, hollow rattling of loose floorboards. Eagerly, she ripped them up and tossed them to the side, revealing a stack of spell tomes as high as she had been able to manage. One by one she pulled out the literal treasure trove of information until no less than twenty books were now floating around her. Raising an eyebrow, she glared at each one with a critical eye. “...I swear I only had ten...”

Upon further inspection, she found that she indeed had only hidden ten books. The rest were...a faint shudder ran down her spine, and her face became a picture of disgust. “Okay...I assume the muffin one is Sugar Belle's, and Party Favour has a thing for balloons but why is this all about snow...ugh, never mind I don't want to know,” she muttered, cheeks tinged with crimson as she threw the books out of sight.

“Now...where was I?” Starlight asked, trying to get herself back on track. Grabbing the first book, she started to quickly skim through it. She knew the spells she needed were in one of them, having used them before. Hopefully, her advancements in spell-craft would be sufficient for the job.

As she was racing through the fourth book, an incessant knocking filled her ears. For a brief moment, worry rose within her. However, it was quickly quelled by the logical part of her brain. None of her friends, if she could still use the term, would have found her so quickly. “Not even Rainbow Dash is that fast... Pinkie Pie maybe, but she isn't focused enough. Must be Double Diamond and the others...”

She contemplated ignoring it. The sooner she got this spell done, the sooner she could be on her way. She did not need any more concern, or talking for that matter...it hurt too much. That thought was short lived when the irritating pounding rose to a frantic hammering. Sighing heavily, she started down the stairs towards her newly repaired door. “Alright alright! I'm coming!” she yelled out. Presumably, it was Night Glider who was currently engaged in knocking down her door. “Are all pegasi this impatient?” she asked herself scathingly, before shaking her head. “No, wait, Fluttershy answers that for me. Though, her brother...” she let herself trail off as she reached the door.

Being of a much flimsier construction, and having been hastily repaired, this door, unfortunately, was unable to withstand the relentless assault of an impatient pegasus. As Starlight reached it, the abused door gave up and collapsed inwards. With a loud yelp of surprise, she dove to the side, barely avoiding worsening her headache. Months of avoiding falling brooms and buckets were finally starting to pay off.

Snapping her head up, she began to glare sapphire daggers at the quartet of ponies outside her door. The trio outside had the decency to look sheepish but a gust of wind tousling her mane told her that Night Glider was already in the room. A pair of hooves suddenly wrapped around her middle, gently pulling her upright. A small petty voice inside her head wanted to resist but she ignored it and allowed the dark pegasus to help her up. Without turning around, she snorted. “I am not even going to bother repairing it this time.”

“I'm good at breaking doors!” Night Glider huffed, though she averted her eyes from the back of the unicorn's head. “Anyway, you just ran off on us! What's the deal?”

“I had an idea that's all...” Starlight sighed, levitating the fallen spellbooks. All at once the four ponies looked like they had swallowed a lemon, confirming her theory that they had been the ones using her hiding spot. “Yeah, I'm not even gonna ask... Look, I'm sorry for running off but I need to do this...” she sagged to the floor and began to read. “I need to fix this...” Any elation she usually felt at the thought of magic was gone. This was going against everything they had been trying to teach her.

“Fix...what exactly?” Double Diamond asked, stepping through the now empty doorway. The fallen door creaked under his hooves, a sorrowful ballad about shoddy workmanship, a plan gone wrong and a destruction-happy pegasus. By the time Sugar Belle stepped over the door, it split in two with an audible crack. Starlight groaned and her hoof hit her face with an audible thunk. Was this really the way? “If that isn't a metaphor for everything I try to fix... Maybe I shouldn't do this... These books... these spells...”

Quietly, she turned one over in her hooves. The cover was like any other spellbook, adorned with gold lettering and several arcane symbols. Most of them were complete nonsense, just there to make the book more appealing. “They were hoof-picked by me when I wanted to change Equestria, to remove everything I felt was wrong.”

“What's in them?” Double Diamond sat down in the doorway, his strong back providing a makeshift barrier to any prying eyes. “The equalisation spell?”

“The components for it yes... along with shield spells, repulsion spells, defence spells, and memory spells. I thought I could use the memory spells to undo any mistakes with the equalisation process and try again. I never had to... It was, brutally effective, as you all know.”

Unease settled in the room, as the four ponies squirmed uncomfortably at the memories being dredged up. The equalisation cottage had only recently been adapted, during Starlight's last trip. She had used her magic to warp it into something completely recognisable. That room, once cramped and soulless, had been transformed into a spa. It was all she could think of at the time. It occurred to her to ask if it had ever been used but now was not the time.

“I could fashion a spell to erase the mistake I made, and everypony would never need to know.” She was talking more to herself, but knew that the others were listening intently. She was trying to convince herself to go through with the plan, her only plan. “It wasn't fair to bring them into this... I know that now. I should have listened to myself, and prevented all of this. But at least I can make it...go away. It was better before all this...everyone was happier.”

A softer hoof than Night Glider's came to rest on her shoulder. The thick, puffy mane of Sugar Belle's tickled her cheek, all too reminiscent of Pinkie Pie. “Well... I know none of us don't know what's going on...but, maybe if you just apologised...”

“I'm sure Princess Twilight and the others would understand if you just explained what happened,” Party Favour tried, coming to Starlight's other side. Evidently, that had been the wrong thing to say, as Starlight suddenly launched herself back into her action.

“No! No! I am not having that again! Ponies shouldn't have to understand that I made another mistake, they shouldn't have to listen to my apologies! Scootaloo shouldn't have to have gone through all this! She shouldn't have to know that her mother is a complete evil failure!” Breathing heavily, Starlight began to once more hunt for the spells she needed. Several times, she had to blink. Her vision was constantly filling with water.

In all of thirty seconds, she had found the section she was looking for. Her eyes began to move back and forth, mouth muttering the words over and over. Whatever pain her head tried to distract her with was completely fruitless. She would deal with whatever consequences such a spell would have on her health later. As long as she was able to erase this, everything would be fine.“I need to erase every memory of me ever having been a mother- no wait! I can't! If I do that then I'll need to go after Princess Celestia and that'll be completely impossible... I'll just...have to erase the results...”

Her fury had dissipated, bleeding out of her as sorrow filled the void. Tears now streamed unchecked down her cheeks, blurring her sense of sight. Still, she forged ahead, her outward mutterings focusing her to the exclusion of all else. Her horn glowed brightly as the spell began to form. Shimmering teal light filled the cottage, spilling out of the windows. Even in the bright sunlight, it was noticeable throughout the town.

At a loss, Double Diamond, Sugar Belle, Party Favour and Night Glider could only watch as the pony in front of them descended into disaster. Each of them had tried to erase their own selves, believing a life without what made them special would have been preferable. They had come to Starlight for that, only to be proven wrong by Twilight. No matter her reasons, Starlight had tried to help them all at a time when they were at their lowest. Now, they had to return the favour. Double Diamond turned to Night Glider. “We'll try and keep Starlight from doing anything too rash, you need to get to Ponyville and tell them what's going on!”

“We can't let her do this!” Sugar Belle agreed, looking between the two stallions. Night Glider had already sped off, flying as fast as she could manage towards Ponyville. “We almost destroyed ourselves trying to give up a part of us.”

Party Favour shook his head. “We won't...” he said softly, turning back to Starlight. The magic she was weaving had grown in intensity, now causing the air to hum faintly. Whatever they were going to try, it would have to wait until she was finished, or they ran the risk of causing the spell to backfire. With Starlight's power, the whole house would probably be reduced to ash.

“-need to make sure all memories are completely wiped." Starlight's rapid muttering still had not ceased. "Better double the Erasia Kinesis, and add an erasing spell just in case. To isolate those particular memories I'll use the same spells I used to block my own... Hopefully without anything left to relapse on, there won't be any side effects...but to make sure I'll add Sedantis' Soothing...”

Gradually, the blinding light began to dim, though Starlight's concentration had not wavered. She was coming to the home stretch, and soon her wretched spell would be finished. A mantra had crept unbidden into her head, threatening to drown out her muttering. “Don't cast spells on your friends!” Rainbow shouted repeatedly. Twilight joined in after that with her own shrieks of, “That's because it is really bad!” Over and over, the voices of her friends repeated in her head, trying to dissuade her from her task.

“I'm sorry...” she whimpered, lowering her head and aiming downwards. The finished spell poured from her horn, landing on a blank page. The liquefied magic was like ink and was quickly absorbed into the thirsty paper. For a moment, the yellowing canvas remained blank, glowing faintly with Starlight's signature aura. Then, words began to form, scratching their way across the page and in only a few seconds the completed combination of spells was fully realised in front of her. No clause had been omitted, there was no room for error. It would find the desired memories and destroy them until there was no trace left. The recipient would go on as if nothing had happened with no chance of recall.

Stumbling backwards, Starlight threw up. Her body rejected the very idea of what she was about to do. Before she had simply been naive and foolish. She had been new to the idea of friendship and had grown from the experience. This was going against everything she had ever learned, about being a good friend, about being a good pony.

“You don't have to do this,” Double Diamond spoke from behind her, causing her to whirl around. In her frenzy, she had forgotten they were still in the room.

Starlight took a hold of the spell in her magic and ripped it from the book, effortlessly brushing away Party Favour's attempts to slip it out of her grasp. Even with Sugar Belle's help, or the entire village's population of unicorns, they had no hope of wrestling the scroll away from her by force. “I know what you're trying to do...” Starlight sighed. “But there's no other way...”

“There's always another way! We thought that too and look what happened?”

Starlight paused when Party Favour stepped in her way. Her eyes still burned and her stomach readied itself to expel more of its contents. She did not want to do this but she could not see any other option. Still keeping an iron hold on the spell, she started to walk around the sky blue unicorn but found her way blocked by Double Diamond and Sugar Belle. All three were standing rigid, faces hard with determination. They were not moving.

“I could move you all...or teleport around you,” Starlight pointed out, voice lacking any emotion. “You're only delaying the inevitable. My mind is made up.”

“Is it?” Double Diamond asked, staring down at her. “Because if it was you would have done it already.” Starlight gritted her teeth but said nothing, and Double Diamond took the opportunity to continue. “You may think this is for the best, but it isn't just your choice to make.” He fell silent for a few breaths as if gathering the courage to enact the final blow. “What if Scootaloo would rather know her mother, no matter how much her mother thinks she's failed?”

Starlight fell backwards as if struck, mouth hanging open as she stared up at Double Diamond. He looked away briefly, then locked eyes with her again. “We all make mistakes but erasing them doesn't make them go away. It just adds another mistake that we would have to erase. Where would it end? Would it end? Would you try to erase the time you spent with us? Or the time you travelled back in time?”

“That's different!” Starlight protested, choking on her own words. Her legs were threatening to fail her, her grip on the scroll began to loosen. “You have no idea what you're talking about! I'm not erasing this for myself! I'm erasing this because it should never have happened in the first place!”

“But it did!” Party Favour cut in, moving closer to the quivering mare. “It happened, and that's okay. Things happen and we deal with them. Erasing them only makes it harder down the line. You'd always be left to wonder, to second guess yourself.”

Swallowing hard, Starlight brought the scroll up to her eye level. They were right, she knew they were. Erasing this was the cheap way out, the easy way out. It was no better than running, something she had been doing her whole life. Scootaloo had been taken away in the first place because she had been too weak and had chosen to run away. Was she really still that weak?

Quietly, she lowered the scroll, exhaling heavily. Taking a chance, Sugar Belle reached out with her magic but just like Party Favour she was easily overpowered. “No... I'm not saying I'm not doing it...” Starlight explained softly. “I'm just...taking the time to think. You all sussed out the situation on your own. So if you have any ideas, let's hear them.”

Sugar Belle sat down, as Party Favour and Double Diamond; Starlight remained standing. With the atmosphere now calmer, Sugar Belle opened her mouth to speak. A loud whistling sound caused any words to die in her throat. Starlight had heard it too, now tense as a drawn bowstring. Before she could erect any form of defence a cyan blur barrelled into her, and she found herself rolling across the room.

She came to a stop pressed up against the wall, feeling like she had taken a ride on a roller coaster. Not even her first attempt at teleportation had been so disorientating. All dizziness was quickly chased away when two hooves clamped onto her shoulders and pinned her to the wall. Flicking her sapphire eyes upwards, she came face to face with the fiery rubies of Rainbow Dash...and the pegasus was furious. Mentally, she cursed herself. She had completely missed Night Glider's absence. Now of the three ponies she had least wanted to see, one of them now had her completely at their mercy.

Author's Note

And there's chapter 10, part 2 of my little deviation. Next chapter things come to a head, and Rainbow and Starlight go up against each other. Poor Starlight is not in a good way, no matter how much she tried to hide it. She's reverting back to the only way she was ever comfortable with, even if it was a false comfort. A lot more is going to be revealed next chapter so stick around. Hope you all enjoyed. Have a nice day!

Don't Forget, You're Our Friend.

Disorientated, Starlight tried to get a hold of her throbbing head. Her movements were subsequently halted by Rainbow's incredibly strong grip. She felt like she was in a vice, completely unable to physically move. Rainbow's heavy breathing filled her ears, eventually calming sufficiently for the cyan mare to speak.

“What are you thinking?!” Rainbow snarled, subconsciously leaning more of her weight onto Starlight. There was no reaction. Having realised she was not going anywhere fast, Starlight had resorted to fixing her captor with a stony-faced glare. Spittle flew from Rainbow's mouth, droplets of frustration glistening on Starlight's cheek, yet the lilac mare did not speak. “You think this is all just going to go away?!” Rainbow continued, blood boiling as the frosty silence she received eroded her fragile patience. “You don't get to decide for us!”

Starlight bit her tongue, holding herself back from firing off several venomous retorts. She had no interest in discussing this anymore, all of that had left her when Rainbow slammed her into a wall. The pegasus' anger was justified but frankly, Starlight did not care. She should never have brought them into this. It was her problem and the responsibility to present a workable solution rested solely on her shoulders. Even if those shoulders now ached.

Despite her burning head, she drew magic into her horn. This was not happening. In a few hours, Rainbow and everyone else would remember nothing and all would be well. There was no reason to discuss it any further. Unfortunately for her, Rainbow saw what she was doing. Outpacing a unicorn's teleportation spell was a near impossible task but their close proximity and Rainbow's keenly honed reflexes made the deed trivial.

Sharp, stabbing pain was soon layered atop the dull throbbing still persisting in Starlight's head. Her magic was dispersed uselessly and the teleportation spell failed, leaving her still securely stuck underneath Rainbow. She wanted to cry out, to at least whimper but instead satisfied the need by biting down harder on her tongue.

“We're your friends! We're already involved! Whether it was 'supposed' to happen or not! We're all in this together, just as much as you are!” Rainbow's hooves dug into Starlight's shoulders as she shook her frantically... She had to get through to Starlight before she tried to teleport again. Otherwise, all their progress was lost and her biggest fan would never know her family. “Don't you remember the last time you tried to pull something like this?”

Breathing out heavily, Starlight let go of her tongue. It hurt but right now that was just something else to add to the list. “Yes, yes I do. Vividly. I was cleaning the castle for a week afterwards.”

Rainbow growled, her chest rumbling with building frustration. “Well...well, why are you doing this now! What do you think this is going to do to us, to Scootaloo? You really think it's fair that she finally finds out who her mother and now you're going to take it away!”

Feeling for all the world like she had been punched in the gut, Starlight turned her head to the side, now unable to meet Rainbow's eyes. Nothing her physical body could dole up could ever come close to how deeply that comment had gouged her. Her voice dropped to a low whisper, lips barely moving. “Of course I don't think it's fair. Nothing about this is fair...it never has been.” She squirmed feebly in Rainbow's grasp but in the end had to settle for tossing her mane and glaring up at the pegasus. All ice had melted away from her eyes and now a raging flame burned behind the sapphire orbs. “It's why we started this in the first place and look where it's gotten!”

An uncomfortably trembling began to take root in Starlight's chest, forcing her to bite her lip. The nervous habit helped steady her extremities but only caused her core to shake harder. Once more drawing on her magic, she cast aside her inhibitions against direct conflict and enveloped Rainbow in a teal aura.

Now it was Rainbow's turn to feel completely powerless. As wide as the chasm was between their physical abilities, Starlight could bridge that gap more comfortably than any other unicorn. A flicker of fear marred Rainbow's crimson gaze as she was forcibly wrenched in the air. No amount of squirming would shake her iron bonds, though she tried.

“Look, I know you all want to help. I appreciate that...I really do...” Starlight began, speaking slowly and carefully, having to tease out each word to ensure it was audible. “But...this should not have happened. No one should have gotten involved...but at this rate, we're going to have half of Equestria involved! I need to end this! Everyone... Scootaloo included... will feel a lot better without this weighing over their heads... It's my weight to bear.”

An angry snarl rose up in Rainbow's throat, why would Starlight just not understand, but she suddenly froze. Her new vantage point gave her a better view of what she had been doing. Several bruises and welts littered Starlight's back and shoulders, marks that had been caused by her own overzealousness. Whether she had any right to be angry or not, this was not how she should be going about it. There was being blunt and forward and then there was this. Luckily, Starlight had left her mouth unshackled. With a lot more care than she had previously, Rainbow spoke out, desperation creating a thick undertone to her words. “Can we just talk about this... Please...just give me a chance to try. I know you'd regret this even more than you do now... C'mon Starlight...”

The change in tone shook Starlight's resolve. It was soft, pleading, vulnerable. A twisted little sliver of her heart screamed that it was a trick, to go through with her plan no matter what. That part of her was closer to the pony she had been, than the pony she was trying to fashion. She had already come dangerously close to regressing completely. Finally letting out a low whimper, she sank to her belly and buried her head in her hooves. A loud thump told her Rainbow had dropped to the floor but she made no move to erect her magic again. Her head thanked her for that.

“Okay. Let's talk about it...” she mumbled into her hooves, not really caring if anyone could hear her or not. “That's something not outwith the realms of my abilities...” A humourless laugh broke from her throat and she raised her head slightly. Despite herself, she made the quiet observation that the uncomfortable heat of hiding one's face was most likely a metaphor for how uncomfortable trying to hide one's self could become.

Glad that Starlight had not simply teleported away, Rainbow allowed herself a sigh of relief. A long silence stretched between them, then Rainbow started speaking, keeping her voice as level and soft as she could. “I get that it sucks to have no idea what you're doing. When I started the Wonderbolts I had no idea what they wanted from me. I tried everything and nothing worked...until I realised that it wasn't just what they wanted...I didn't even know what I wanted. Did I want to part of the team, or did I want to be the team...” She paused, reminiscing for a brief moment on just how foolish she had been during her first day at the Wonderbolts. Everything had worked out in the end but there had been times when she would have gladly tried to erase the entire thing. She was about to continue, when Starlight began murmuring, having interpreted her pause as a break in conversation. Closing her mouth, Rainbow settled back to listen.

“I just...want it all to go away...for you all. You'd never know anything was amiss... I wouldn't be a constant disappointment, Twilight wouldn't be so stressed and you'd go on being Scootaloo's big sister. I'm not cut out for this. I wasn't eleven years ago and I'm not now.”

“Will you stop putting yourself down!” Rainbow snapped, wings flaring aggressively. Catching herself, she took a step back and shook her head. “Sorry... I'm not good at this.” She rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. Dropping her hoof, she sighed and sat down. This was not her area of expertise. Twilight, Rarity or Fluttershy would be better here, even Applejack would be a more suitable candidate. However, as the fastest and most headstrong she had planted her own hooves firmly in this situation.

“Something we have in common.” With another humourless laugh, Starlight dropped her chin back on her elbows but kept her eyes forward. Now that her face was less flushed, Rainbow visibly flinched at the red welt at the base of her horn. In the moment it had been all she could think of to stop the teleportation spell but now the mark glared angrily at her. She was snapped from those thoughts when Starlight sighed wearily. “I just can't do it... Even with all six of you I still...” She gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut, self-directed venom dripping from her tone. “I still couldn't even hold a simple meeting with another pony... Nothing's even happening yet and I'm already... I just...I can't!”

As Starlight collapsed back into a quivering ball, hugging herself with both hoof and tail as her splayed mane covered her face, Rainbow knelt down in front of her. It had been she who had pushed Starlight to both reveal the truth to Scootaloo and to take the next steps. Truthfully, it was only right that she was the one to be dealing with this now. “I told you before didn't I. You can. I know you can... but that doesn't mean you gotta do everything alone. Twilight and I both offered to go with you.”

“I know...but...”

“No buts,” Rainbow said brusquely, then a smirk played on her lips. “It's okay to need help. I get that you want to do everything alone. I do too but some things are just bigger than we are. You think one of the six of us could have saved Equestria alone? Well, maybe but... okay no, we couldn't. Heh, sorry almost got ahead of myself there.”

That tugged Starlight's lips into a weak smile, even if she still felt ready to break. This was exactly she did not want, more help. She had already gotten too much. Face becoming sullen once more, she groaned sadly. “I get it... but just... you've all helped me too much. I owe my entire life to you all. Now, even if I can save Equestria from Chrysalis with no magic at all, I can't do even the simplest things. It's my problem and I'm the one who should be fixing it...you can't save me all the time.”

Unbidden a snort of laughter burst from Rainbow's mouth, so quickly she was barely able to stifle it. “You really are crazy aren't you.” A slight glow from beneath Starlight's mane quickly ended her merriment and rushed her explanation forward. “We don't save you all the time. You actually saved us last time remember. Just because we're helping you doesn't mean you need saving. It just means that there are some things no one should have to go through alone. This is just one of them.”

Rainbow extended a hoof and gently touched one of Starlight's shoulders. It shook against her touch and Rainbow reminded herself just how fragile Starlight could be. For a pony who could stare down an alicorn and laugh at the rules of time, emotionally she was at times a crippled wreck. Even though coming in all guns blazing was at times the only way to break through to her, Rainbow still felt a twinge of regret whenever she had to pick up the pieces.

“But I'll make another mistake...and then I'll just cause more problems.” Letting out another pathetic whimper, Starlight shifted her head to stare at a wall. She wanted to give in but her track record gnawed at her. She had already affected Twilight negatively with this, in a big way. How much more would she affect with her past?

For a moment, Rainbow cast several furtive glances around the room. The other three were nearby, ready to lend a hoof if need be, but were out of earshot. Bending a little closer to Starlight, she muttered in a conspirational tone. “This goes no further than us but...I've caused problems too. Mistakes always cause problems and we all make 'em at some point...” Satisfied that only Starlight had heard her admission, she chuckled and raised her voice. “Some ponies make bigger mistakes, some ponies make smaller ones...doesn't mean they deserve any less help. If they're your friends you gotta help them because you know they'll help you when you need it. That's what being awesome is all about.”

“I don't think that would be the dictionary definition of the word awesome,” Starlight quipped, then shook her head. “I just... don't know what to do. This isn't something I can just control and wrap up neatly... I don't even know where to begin.”

“You don't have to control it, but you can't just make it go away either. It'll just come back to bite you later. Even if it was in another eleven years...”

“I guess that's true...” Starlight murmured, a wave of foolishness overcoming her. This was exactly what she had tried eleven years ago...when she really had been alone. “But how more badly can I screw this up? It's already driving us across Equestria and... Scootaloo probably hates me now anyway.” The last part caused her to try and bury her head once more but she found the motion stopped by a cyan blue hoof.

“Doubt it,” Rainbow chuckled, shaking her head. “She's a pretty hardy kid when it comes right down to it.”

“Yeah, that I know...” Starlight murmured, keeping her head up even as Rainbow lowered her hoof. "Still... I... I really messed up."

“Just take it slow, and since I'm saying that you know it's the right thing to do.” Rainbow winked as Starlight rolled her eyes. “And don't worry about it. I'm pretty sure more than one pony has run out of an office for one reason or another. You just end up halfway across Equestria. You're like me.”

Starlight laughed weakly, gently pushing her mane away from her eyes. They were glistening slightly but her reservoirs were thankfully once again as dry as the desert. “I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks.”

“No worries. Just promise that you'll stop feeling bad about asking for help.” While her body was relaxed, Rainbow's eyes were hard and piercing. Starlight almost wilted under the intense stare but mustered the strength to nod. Grinning again, Rainbow pulled her to her feet. “We should probably get back.” Twisting her head, Rainbow turned back to the three onlookers, all standing ready to intervene if need be. “You all should come too.”

Seeing that everything had finally calmed down, hopefully for good this time, they gave a small sigh of relief. Party Favour decided to speak up for them. “Sure thing. We should make the train easily enough. He glanced around to find a clock. Coming up blank, he chuckled. “Probably.”

“Just one more thing...” Starlight said softly. “So I'm never tempted again.

She made to pull the scroll away from her side, only to find it absent. Confused, she blinked and started to search around for it. A nervous cough caught her attention and she looked up to see Sugar Belle holding the tightly wrapped piece of paper in her magic. Gently, Starlight took possession of it again and laid the parchment flat on the floor. A calm came over her features, then she released a bolt of magic from her horn. It arced towards the scroll and exploded on impact. Thick, grey smoke filled the room, causing a round of coughing fits from all five ponies. When the air finally cleared all that was left was a charcoal black scorch mark and a rather substantial hole in the floor.

Turning a shade of scarlet, Starlight averted her eyes and grinned awkwardly. “My bad. I'll umm... fix it later.”

Double Diamond just chuckled, shook his head and boomed, “It's your house. We're just glad everything's going to be okay now.”

A hoof roughly smacked against Starlight's shoulder, almost knocking her off her feet. “You go big or you don't go at all don't you?”

“It's just how I do things,” Starlight said with a shrug, ignoring the increase in dull throbbing her shoulder was hit with. She refrained from rolling her eyes, though it would be appropriate, Rainbow was one to talk about that! “Anyway. Let's go, before we really do miss that train. I have had way too many big teleports lately.” Borrowing a leaf from Rainbow's book, she added, “And that's me saying that.”

The train journey proved uneventful, after the mad dash they had undergone to make it. Starlight still felt a little sweaty as her body tried to bring itself back into equilibrium. Though, she was in better shape than she ever had been. Keeping up with Rainbow, Applejack and Pinkie made sure of that.

“So I'm guessing Night Glider found you easily enough?” Sugar Belle asked, idly chewing on a muffin. Their quick stop to the bakery had probably enforced an increase of several notches onto their reckless dash but it was worth it now.

Already half way through her second muffin, Rainbow nodded and started to speak through a full mouth. “Yeah, she found me-” she swallowed when the disgusted stink-eye Starlight was shooting her caught her eye, “-easily enough. I was waiting in the castle when she burst in...”

**

Twilight paced nervously, threatening to wear a hole in the crystal floor. Spike was just watching, periodically biting his nails. A large bowl of gems was sitting next to him and he regularly dipped his claw into it. In little over an hour, he had eaten more than a day's worth of the tasty treats.

“We should go see if everything is okay!” Twilight jerked her head up for the seventh time and made her way towards the door. A tug on her tail stopped her and she whirled around to see Rainbow holding onto her. The athlete was casually sipping on a tall glass of lemonade, which happened to be Scootaloo's.

“Relax,” she chuckled, shaking her head at the easily stressed alicorn. “She'll be fine. It's just a meeting. Pretty sure she can handle it.”

Sighing heavily, Twilight settled down, hugging one hoof across her chest. “I know... I just, what if something happens. What if she chokes up again? I...”

“She wanted to go on her own and we just gotta wait for now. If something does happen. She'll come back to us and we can go together next time. It'll be fine. Just wait and see.” Rainbow replied, letting go of Twilight's tail. "Just relax."

Cracking a smile, Twilight lowered her hoof and nodded. “You're right...” she said quietly. “Thank you.”

Grinning triumphantly, Rainbow took another sip of her drink, laying back leisurely to enjoy the wait. Her peace was interrupted by Scootaloo tugging the drink away from her, then giving a pointed nod to Rainbow's already empty glass. Shrugging unabashedly, Rainbow just laid back and closed her eyes. Now in possession of her beverage once more, Scootaloo drank deeply. She was not worried at all. Merry Heart was one of the nicest ponies anyone could ever meet and her mum had endured far worse. Mum, that...still felt weird for her.

Everyone jumped when the doors suddenly flew open and a dark shape suddenly barged into the room. Rainbow dove from her throne and tackled the newcomer, rolling on the floor for several seconds with the intruder. They were a bundle of hooves and feathers until she heard Twilight's voice. She then abruptly found herself pulled apart from the other pony. Now that she was forced to take a step back, she realised just who had burst into the room.

“Night Glider! What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping to the floor when Twilight let her go. She had expected some cocky answer about rolling around the floor but Night Glider's eyes were wild and panicked. Even though she was breathing heavily, she tried to force out her message.

“Can't...chat... Starlight showed up in the village... Dunno why but she's...” A fit of coughing stopped her, allowing everyone in the room to digest what was going on.

“Wait! Starlight is in the village? How in Equestria did she end up all the way out there?” Spike asked, ignoring the gems now scattered across the huge table.

“She just popped up!” Night Glider answered quickly, having finally caught her breath. “Teleportation or something. Anyway, that doesn't matter! She's lost it! She's trying to create a spell that'll erase all of your memories! You gotta hurry!”

Twilight faltered, stumbling back a few paces and bumping into the map table. “I knew I should have gone with her, I knew it...” she mumbled to herself, shaking her head repeatedly.

Placing her glass down with shaky hooves, Scootaloo took a deep breath. It did nothing to stop her bottom lip trembling. “Why would she be doing that? I thought...everything was going to be fine... Did she just decide that...”

“I dunno, but I'm going to find out,” Rainbow growled out in a dangerous tone. Before anyone could stop her, she was out of the door. Her muscles burned as rage spurred her on to greater speeds than she would usually maintain. Any faster and she would have probably created several sonic rainbooms.

**

“You really are fast,” Starlight mused, shaking her head. Her own muffin lay half eaten on the table before her and she surreptitiously pushed it away after hearing Rainbow's recount. Apparently, Sugar Belle caught her though, because she felt a small comforting nudge on her side and Sugar Belle was the only one close enough to do so.

“Yup! And I'm only going to get even faster!” Rainbow shoved the remainder of her own cupcake into her mouth, before diving after Starlight's abandoned one. It was given up without any resistance as Starlight leant back in her chair. Ponyville was growing ever closer...

As the castle loomed before them, Starlight had to swallow several times to dispel her nerves. This was going to suck and as much as she deserved it, she dreaded it. Lost in her own thoughts, she was startled when the doors opened and Night Glider flew out. Everyone looked up at her, with Sugar Belle, Double Diamond and Party Favour all giving her a triumphant nod. She visibly relaxed at that, returning to her old confident self. “Twilight says Starlight is to wait out here for a bit while the rest of you come in,” she ordered, then added hastily, as if just remembering something. “And she also said that it's nothing bad. Just, an idea she has.”

Exhaling with relief, Starlight just nodded as everyone did as they were told. Except for Rainbow, who shook her head and folded her hooves across her chest. “I'll stay out here. Something I've gotta tell Starlight.”

Raising an eyebrow, Starlight fixed her gaze on the hovering pegasus, who just chuckled and dropped down to ground level. “Wanted to finish my story. The one about my first day at the Wonderbolts.”

“Huh?” Starlight blinked in confusion until she realised what Rainbow was talking about. “Oh...right... yeah the conversation kind of veered away from that didn't it?”

“Uh huh. Anyway, I tried to do a lot of things and...not all of them made sense. I tried changing myself because I thought that would help me fit in... Help me get closer to what I thought they wanted. Though it turned out that all the Wonderbolts really wanted was me. That's who they picked in the first place after all. Just awesome me.”

“That...makes sense,” Starlight admitted, tapping at the ground with her hoof to give her nerves something to do. “You are pretty awesome.”

“So are you,” Rainbow replied, lowering herself to the ground. “Which is what Scootaloo wants. You, her mum. Not the best mum in the world, not the strongest pony in Equestria, just you. You just gotta stop worrying about every little thing and just be yourself.”

“Easier said than done.” Drawing her hoof up to her chest, Starlight dipped her gaze to the ground. “I have no idea what's going to happen when I go in there... But...you're right about one thing...”

“Oh?”

Raising her head, Starlight whispered gently. “It's not just about me anymore. I have you girls, I have Trixie, I have Sunburst, Thorax, Discord...and now I have Scootaloo. I just need to realise that and move on, or I'm never going to get anywhere.”

“That's the spirit! Now come on! They're probably wondering where we are! Twilight said a bit and a bit has been long since up.”

Starlight shook her head in exasperation. “Somehow I doubt they're waiting for us that impatiently, but you're right. Let's go...”

With slow, careful steps Starlight walked into the castle. Her heart was fluttering and her mind was racing. Twice she had to pause just to calm her breathing, which was quickly becoming panicked and ragged. When they reached the large bright green doors of the throne room, she started backing away. There was no way she could face everyone. She continued backing up until her rear met an obstruction, something warm. Without having to turn around, she knew exactly who she had bumped into. “I can't...”

“Yeah, you can. Stop doubting yourself. C'mon, what did I say. We can do this together. You just need to take some of the first steps.” Still grinning, Rainbow bent her head down and shoved Starlight forward. She got a small yelp in response but at least Starlight was at the door.

Swallowing hard, Starlight steadied herself on her own hooves again. She inhaled deeply, counted to ten and then exhaled before pushing the door open with her hoof. For a long moment, she saw nothing...then realised she had squeezed her eyes shut. Chuckling nervously, she cracked them open, not sure what she would see.

When she finally beheld what was waiting for her, she sank to the floor, her legs turning to jelly. The room was packed full of ponies, along with one dragon, one changeling king and one draconnequis. Alongside Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy and Rarity, were all of her friends, the ones she had made or been reunited with since her reformation. Sunburst, Trixie, Thorax, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Double Diamond, Night Glider, Party Favour, Sugar Belle and even Discord, looking about as out of place as Thorax did. Scootaloo was still there as well, shouldered by Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. A light whoosh of air ruffled her mane as Rainbow flew past her and settled down in the middle of her own group. Pulling herself back to her feet, Starlight took a few tentative steps into the room. Every eye was on her and she knew for a fact that she was quivering under the weight of it all.

Twilight stepped up to meet her, smiling as softly as she had the day she had taken Starlight on as a student. “There were a few who couldn't come but they all send their good wishes regardless. It...was a little short notice.” She rubbed the back of her neck, twirling the ends of her mane briefly before regaining her warm smile. “Everyone here is someone that you've connected with over your time here... in big ways or small ways, it doesn't really matter. You're still friends...and that's why they're here.”

“This was exactly what I was afraid would happen...” Starlight whispered softly, flicking her tail around herself. She shook her head slowly. “But... you're right. It was going to happen eventually. I'd want you all to let me help you...so...yeah...I guess I was just being silly.” She let out a self-deprecating titter. “Not like that's anything new.”

Maintaining the warm smile, Twilight just whispered sagely, “We all get there in the end. Sometimes it just takes us a little time.”

“I know...and I'm sorry it took me so long...” Starlight lowered her head again, watching her reflection in the crystal floor. As good as she had felt that morning, every ounce of her recovery had been wrenched from her. She needed her friends and to continue to deny that would just cause an even more rapid deterioration. Then they would simply worry more. It was a cycle with an easy fix...she just needed to give her pride a stern talking to.

Her ears pricked at the quiet tapping of small hooves on a crystal floor. She looked up to see Scootaloo, sporting a deep frown. The look attacked Starlight's core and her knees threatened to give way once again. Barely able to keep herself upright, she bit her lip nervously and waited for whatever was to come.

Scootaloo nibbled on her own lip as she tried to decide what she wanted to say. She sat down, lowering her gaze to the floor. The pose and demeanour made her look even smaller. “Why would you want to erase everything? Didn't you want to know I was your daughter?” Bringing her hoof to her eyes, she roughly wiped away the forming moisture.

Now more than ever, Starlight knew she would never be tempted to erase anything ever again, whether it be memories or time. Things were as they were for a reason and even if they would not have remembered, she would still have been hurting them. Closing her eyes, she shook her head. “That's...That's not it at all. I just... didn't want you to have to live knowing that your mother was me.”

Scootaloo's eyes widened in surprise and she turned her tear filled gaze upwards. Starlight's eyes were still closed but nevertheless, she knew that Scootaloo was staring at her. Whether with anger, disbelief or even pity she was not able to discern. None of the options was preferable over the other.

“I shouldn't have tried to mess with your memories without asking. I just thought it was better that way... Ending up halfway across Equestria wasn't part of the plan either... Everything just happened and I made all the wrong choices...again. I get that you all probably won't trust me again... I just wanted to make everything better...”

Eyes still closed, Starlight waited on the response. She could hear the shuffling of a small body moving around but kept her eyes firmly shut. She expected words but instead a pair of hooves belonging to someone much smaller than she wrapped around her leg. A small head wet with tears buried itself into her chest. Sitting down, Starlight carefully wrapped a foreleg around Scootaloo's shoulders.

Muffled by her mother's fur, Scootaloo mumbled, from deep within her own heart. “I don't care if you mess up. I don't care if it took you eleven years to find me and I don't care if I still stay at the orphanage for a long time yet. I just... want you here, as my mum... Please...”

“Okay...” Starlight replied quietly, pressing her muzzle into Scootaloo's scruffy mane.

“Promise?” Scootaloo whispered, adjusting her grip on the older mare.

“Yeah... I promise...” Starlight agreed, tightening her own hold on her daughter. One day, that term would become natural, at least she hoped it would...

With a now full castle, it was up to Twilight, Spike and Starlight to try and whip up enough food for everyone. Spike was doing most of the actual cooking, though the combined magic of both Starlight and Twilight made the task a lot more trivial. It also gave him an opportunity to give Starlight a few pointers. Scootaloo was beside her, though at Starlight's request was not touching the kitchen appliances. The last time she had allowed the Crusaders near an oven it had required transfiguration to fix.

“No, don't put too many in at once, and don't put it up to high. Even if it cooks quicker it won't cook right!” he scolded, quickly removing the overladen trays from the oven. He grabbed another tray and began to distribute the excess pastries onto it.

Starlight just watched him work with interest, fidgeting slightly at his admonishments. “Oh... so, that's why the oven started smoking last time. My bad.”

Resisting the urge to slam his head onto the desk, Spike readjusted the temperature and put two of the trays into the oven. The third would just have to go in later. They would have to get another oven if meals of this magnitude were going to become a thing. He chuckled and wiped his brow. “Yeah, probably. Just takes some practice to know which dish requires which setting and I have had a lot of practice.”

“Though his first attempts weren't always stellar,” Twilight chimed in, playfully poking the boasting dragon in his stomach.

He lazily shoved her hoof away, raising an eyebrow at his caretaker. “Yeah, says the pony who managed to burn toast so badly it had to be vacuumed out.”

“That was an experiment!” Twilight protested, using a wing to hide her crimson cheeks. Even so, she could still see Starlight smirking at her, a “do tell” look spreading across her face. Clearing her throat, Twilight tittered nervously. “It's... a long story.”

With a shrug of her shoulders, Starlight relented and turned her attention to magically scrubbing the used worktop clean. As she worked, she cast a sideways look to Twilight, debating whether she should push her luck. In a weird way, it was a selfish thing to do...but she felt she needed it, after today. “Twilight, can we...talk about something?”

“Of course!” the alicorn answered brightly, without any hesitation. “We can always talk. What's on your mind? Is something bothering you?”

Snorting, Starlight rolled her eyes. That had been as subtle as a rampaging yak. “Obviously...but...that's something Rainbow was able to wrap my head around. No... right now it's just... Well... something's bothering you isn't it?”

Having been waiting for this to come up, Twilight simply sighed and nodded. Spike jumped up on the counter and sat down next to her, offering his unconditional support. She smiled softly and rested her front hooves next to him. “Yeah. You know already, I just didn't want to tell you about it because of everything going on... So I guess that makes me just as accountable.” She held up a hoof, cutting off Starlight's protest. “But blame isn't really something we need to be throwing around. We all acted to protect each other without really thinking about what we all would really want...” Smiling, Twilight nuzzled Spike and Starlight in turn. “We'll do better next time.”

Both dragon and unicorn nodded, returning Twilight's gesture. She then continued, idly picking up where Starlight left off the cleaning. “It's...something we should probably talk about tomorrow. You want to help don't you?”

“I fear if I don't I'll just feel worse...and it's the right thing to do. If I can help, then I will...or at least try.”

Twilight gave a final nod and gently hugged Starlight with a wing. “Okay. I promise to speak to you about it tomorrow. Deal?”

“Yeah...” Starlight nodded, quietly resuming her cleaning. With that out of the way, she felt a small portion of her guilt had melted away. “We still need to deal with all of the guests you managed to drag here. Quite impressive by the way.”

“I do my best,” Twilight grinned, then chuckled softly. “I think it was worth it... Shall we go and talk to everyone while we wait on these pastries to cook?”

“Probably a good idea. We did leave Discord and Trixie in the same room after all.”

A look of abject horror passed across Twilight's face and in the next moment she was barreling out of the door. Starlight looked after her, smiling from ear to ear. “Thanks for that...and everything... All of you...” she murmured under her breath, then turned to Scootaloo. "Wanna go see if anyone has been turned into an orange?"

"Isn't that Twilight's thing?" the young pegasus asked, trotting after the lilac unicorn, who had hummed thoughtfully.

"Now that I think of it... yes. Remind me never to eat another orange. I'll stick to apples I think."

Scootaloo giggled at that. At least Ponyville had an ample supply of apples. As she walked in Starlight's shadow, she felt a faint contented warmth filling her. She really hoped it would last.

Author's Note

Chapter 11 is finally up! I have rewritten this thrice blasted thing again and again! Good to finally get it finish. It's a long one so hopefully, that makes up for the wait. This is definitely the end of the first arc and Starlight's guilt. There's a lot of it to be sure but enough ironing will get out almost any crease. I hope you all enjoyed. Feel free to leave any feedback down below in the comments and remember to have a nice day!

Plans Made With Honesty

Quietly, Rainbow closed the door to her cloud home and stepped out to greet a chilly sunrise. Celestia's sun had not quite warmed the air and Rainbow's wings tingled as a result. Stretching the sleep from her feathers, Rainbow spread them wide and launched herself into the sky. Catching a lazy morning updraught, she angled herself towards Ponyville and began her descent.

Rising so early felt alien to her. Despite all of her Wonderbolt training, this was still a crime against her nature. She was going to have to extend her nap time by at least an hour after this travesty. After only about a minute she had alighted in Ponyville, still grumbling about her predicament. Her warm, soft bed called her back, a relentless melody that she struggled to resist.

Her temptations were cut off by a light giggle. “Up here!” a voice called, snapping Rainbow's gaze skyward. The very reason she was up at all was waving at her from the balcony. Deciding to get a small bit of friendly revenge, Rainbow drove her wings downwards and surged upwards. The buffeting winds she whipped up in her wake had the desired effect and a small yelp told Rainbow her plan had succeeded. With an undisguised smirk of satisfaction on her face, she touched down neatly onto the large platform.

In the process of dusting herself off, Twilight heard the light taps of hoof on crystal and turned an unimpressed glare Rainbow's way. All it did was widen the cyan pegasus' smirk and she had to concede defeat. She smiled softly and gave her wings one last shake. “Thanks for coming. I know how much you like your sleep.”

“You owe me for dragging me out of bed this early, I said I wanted to talk...not that I wanted to talk before sunrise.” the cyan pegasus announced, maintaining a disgruntled pout for a few moments before turning it into a smirk. She was mostly joking but a trip to the Hay Burger later where she was not paying, she would not say no to.

“True, but you also didn't say no either.” Though she knew Rainbow was playing with her, Twilight could not resist being technical. It also never hurt to be prepared, in the event that Rainbow really did arrive a little irate. “Breakfast is inside. I figured you would skip it to get some extra sleep.”

Predictably, Rainbow rushed past her at the mention of breakfast. Unfortunately, Twilight was unable to escape the cyan mare's trajectory in time and ended up on the floor for the second time that morning. Muttering under her breath, mostly about the need for certain ponies to watch where they were going, she picked herself back up and made her way through the large glass doors.

Closing the cool morning air out of her library, she was immediately greeted by the sounds of Rainbow noisily crunching on a piece of toast. With Spike still asleep it was the easiest thing to make in bulk. Fortunately, Rainbow seemed content to wolf it down. As if in response, her own stomach let out a small gurgle. Giving in to her body's desires, she took a piece of the now lukewarm breakfast for herself. Once she was settled into a large, comfortable armchair she cleared her throat, so loudly that a dry tickle was left behind in its wake. “So, shall we begin? We have a lot to talk about.”

“As long as you don't mind me eating while we talk.” Without waiting for an answer, she started on her second piece, still making more noise than Twilight would have thought any single piece of food could produce.

Her eye twitched at the assault on the quiet of her library but with Rainbow, it was something she was more than used to. “If you must. I'm sorry I asked you here so early but I would rather get this all done before everyone else wakes up. I think we need to look at this from a narrower perspective.” She hated not involving her friends when they were already involved, but too many different ideas were sometimes difficult to dissect. As the most involved outside of herself, Rainbow was the one she needed to talk to one on one.

“Yeah, I guess I can forgive you this time. Just don't go getting any ideas. My sleep is important to help maintain all of my awesome.” Eyes closed, she tossed the remainder of her toast into the air and leaned her head back, catching it neatly. Her cocky grin faded slowly, into a more sombre expression. “I can't believe I'm saying this but I guess there are some things more important than sleep.”

Twilight's lips twitched into an amused smirk. “Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you said that.” Like Rainbow, her mirth was quickly snuffed out by the weight of their current situation. She pressed her hooves together and released a thoughtful hum, trying to best think of how to start. As painful as it was to admit, they had all been in the wrong, blinded by good intentions. She was surprised when Rainbow was the one to speak up first, stealing the words from her mouth and putting them out. Perhaps a little bluntly, but the point was plain.

“We really messed this up didn't we?”

Seeing no other answer, Twilight merely nodded slowly. “We were too focused on trying to get everything over and done with that we didn't look at what we were doing to ourselves. It's been a rough couple of days and we've all been making rash decisions. If we continue down at this pace then it's only going to get worse.”

“But we can't just do nothing!” Rainbow protested loudly, slamming a hoof down on the arm of her chair. The sound it made against the cushioned fabric was decidedly unimpressive. “We can't just stop now! If we do then everything we've done is for nothing! We can't do that to Scootaloo! Not now!””

“And I can't watch Starlight destroy herself! It's almost happened already!” Twilight snapped, threatening to rise and leap across the room. Across from her, Rainbow did the same, her daggered glare matching Twilight's own. Heat rose into the still air, as the seconds seemed to drag by. Then, as one, the pair sagged in their seats and broke eye contact, refusing to re-establish it. Rainbow merely dipped her head downwards and turned it away, while Twilight buried her face into her hooves.

The one to break the silence was Rainbow, though her shaky words barely traversed the length of the room. “Yeah... I...I get it. None of us wants that. I was there...” she swallowed, reliving yesterday's horror. It was why they were having this conversation so quickly. Despite having calmed that situation down, they were still teetering on the edge. “I just... I don't want...” she trailed off, allowing Twilight to pick up where she left off.

“I know you don't want this to be for nothing... It won't be. But if we keep going, then Scootaloo and Starlight have found each other... but at what cost?” Lifting her head, Twilight returned her gaze to Rainbow. Feeling the weight of eyes on her, Rainbow turned back as well. “I don't want to find that out.”

Riddled with an onset of lead-weighted guilt, Rainbow turned away. She herself had told Starlight, again and again, to slow down, yet when it came right to it she had been pushing everything forward regardless. Seconds seemed to blur into minutes, she had no idea how long she stayed lost quietly in her own thoughts. Through the fog, a gentle touch on her shoulder caught her attention. From somewhere close to her left ear, she heard Twilight say softly,

“We all just wanted this over, without anyone getting hurt. Unfortunately, it seems that in trying to rush through to a solution we stumbled on more complications than we were ready for. None of us could have imagined that this is where we would end up.” Letting her eyelids droop, she let out a tired sigh. “None of us were ready for any of this.”

“But we can be more ready now...” Rainbow replied quietly, extending a wing and gently touching Twilight's flank. “And you're right. I'm sorry I was so focused on Scootaloo. I wasn't seeing the big picture.”

“Don't put all the blame on yourself.” Twilight offered her friend a half smile. “We all weren't seeing the whole picture. I'm the one closest to Starlight, I'm the one who should have seen this coming. She's been worrying about me, worrying about everyone else and been driving herself halfway across Equestria. If I'd just...”

She stopped her tirade when a cyan hoof began to roughly dig around her mane. With the alicorn's head suitable ruffled, Rainbow gave her signature brash grin. “What did you just say about blaming ourselves? We all messed up and we all just gotta fix this. Me, you, Starlight and Scootaloo, we can do this.” Before Twilight could retaliate, she launched herself into the air. Her leftover breakfast was pitched to the floor by the ensuing downdraught. “Now, is there anything left we have to do? Like, really have to do. Not just do because we want everything finished and wrapped up before naptime.”

Twilight frowned, taxing her considerable brain power in an attempt to consider absolutely everything. “I need to have a talk with Starlight...but aside from that, all I can think of is the orphanage. As much as I want to wait I'd rather not have any rumours sprouting all over Ponyville. If they haven't already.”

“If any do, Pinkie will probably be the first to hear about them, so I wouldn't worry too much. We can do the orphanage after breakfast, with all of us there. That's not up for discussion. After that, we just do our best. If that isn't good enough then we just need to go higher than our best. This...” Rainbow's face set and her tone strengthened from a breeze into a hurricane, “This is not going to happen again.”

While she appreciated the sentiment, Twilight's meticulous need for detail felt obligated to pick at the finer details of the statement. The word best implied a level of effort that was unable to be surpassed. Then again, time and time again they had managed to beat the odds and come out stronger than they had been going in. So maybe, just maybe, there was a hint of truth to that statement after all. Though, it could definitely be refined, a project for a later, rainy day perhaps.

Despite her offering of toast, Rainbow still decided to raid her cupboards. At least she was now rid of them before they started to foul, a feat Twilight would have thought impossible without Rainbow, Pinkie Pie and Applejack as friends. With that small worry dealt with, she set her attention on getting through the rest of the day.

With her head still swimming, Twilight meandered through her castle. The thought to try and catch a few more winks passed her by, already the sun had changed hue from a muted red to a glowing yellow. Perhaps she should resume her reading, there were far too many topics for her to waste the day away sleeping. The alicorn adjusted her course towards one of the castle libraries, only to pause abruptly after turning the first corner. Scootaloo was sitting in the middle of the hallway, appearing even smaller below the cavernous ceiling. Her being in the castle was no surprise, she had absolutely refused to leave after everything that had nearly transpired. Not even the lure of another sleepover with her idol had managed to sway her. Still, Twilight had not expected her to be up so early.

“Hey,” she called, catching the young filly's attention. After giving a friendly wave, Twilight trotted forwards. “Something wrong?”

Elated to have run into Twilight, Scootaloo waved vigorously. Someone who knew their way around the castle was a welcome sight. Her first night under the cavernous walls had been a stern teacher. It was every filly's dream, well almost every filly's dream, to live high and mighty in a castle, with abundant space, tall towers with amazing views, and servants to wait on their every need. Forgoing the lack of servants or just ponies in general, navigating Twilight's castle was a truly daunting task. Compared to the warm cosiness of the orphanage, the mass of crystal felt confusing and even a little unnerving Thankfully, she could put that behind her for now. “Nah, not really. I just thought I heard Rainbow Dash flying by. But when I came out to see she was already gone. Did I miss anything?”

“Oh, nothing much, we were just talking is all,” Twilight answered, trying to keep her response vague and casual. Her success was paltry at best, as evidenced by Scootalooo's look of utter disbelief. Currently, there was only one subject worth discussing that would provoke a late riser like Rainbow Dash to be up before sunrise was truly over.

“About Star- uh... mum?” Scootaloo asked, seeming to shrink as she did. She already knew, there was no need to ask and yet she did anyway. It was more than a need to know, it was a need to understand, to be let in the loop. After yesterday's near disaster, she needed it more than ever.

With the recent conversation fresh in her mind, Twilight exhaled slowly. Lying was completely pointless, and she now had a chance to correct her previous blunder. At least, it gave her a chance to broaden her admittedly narrow perspective of recent events. “Yes, we just wanted to be absolutely sure nothing like...that, happens again.”

Not sure what to say, Scootaloo dipped her head in understanding, It was something she never wanted to happen again either. She wanted never again to be stuck on one side of Equestria, hearing panicked snippets of something that was taking place on the other side. Something that, if it had come to pass, would have left her completely back at square one without even a memory to hold on to.

For a moment, Twilight let herself watch the obvious turmoil as it raged through Scootaloo. It would take her several books to fully express what she imagined the filly must be feeling about everything that had happened, or had nearly happened. However, simply guessing would not help to broaden her picture, as she had promised herself she would do. “I can't imagine how difficult this is. Do you want to talk about it?”

Scootaloo shot Twilight a look that made the alicorn feel like she had grown an extra head. “I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?” There as an almost imperceptible pause, which to Twilight was as telling as a direct statement. “I found my mum... I...”

When Scootaloo could not quite meet her eyes, Twilight reached out and carefully laid a hoof on the young filly's shoulder. As soon as contact was made, she felt Scootaloo sidle a little closer, seeking comfort without any real conscious thought.

“I don't know what to think sometimes...” Scootaloo murmured, speaking partially to herself. “I'm angry, but I don't know why.”

“It's okay to be angry sometimes Scootaloo.” In what she hoped was a reassuring gesture, Twilight wrapped a wing around the small pegasus. “Everyone gets angry, it just happens. What matters is how you act on it.”

“That's just it. I don't know. I don't know what I should do. I don't even know who I'm angry at. I don't think it's Starlight... it's more...everything that's lead up to this. Why couldn't they just leave everything alone? Why was I taken then put in an orphanage? What gives?! What gives them the right?” Her ending question was a shout that echoed sharply through the hallway. Listening to her own repressed anger shouting back at her, she sighed, “I don't know what to say. I don't know if the next thing that happens will be the last. I shouldn't even be saying this now...but...”

She trailed off, words failing her young mind. This was all just too crazy, with everything teetering on the edge of disaster. A day had felt like a year, and she was only at the very beginning of day two. Once more, Twilight's inner-self lashed out to berate her for being so narrowly focused.

“You shouldn't ever be afraid to express yourself Scootaloo, to anyone. Starlight wouldn't want you to be, and I'm glad you said this to me now, rather than trying to keep it to yourself. Doing so causes a lot more harm than it prevents if it prevents any at all.” Her pensive tone changed, rising in strength yet losing none of its softness. “My advice? Be honest with yourself and your friends. Otherwise, the truth only gets more difficult and complicated.”

“But I don't want to hurt anyone either. Ponies don't like it when you're angry with them.”

Acknowledging the point, Twilight tilted her head to the side. “That's true, but it will always leak through eventually. You can't hide it entirely, however much you want to. I've known Starlight for a while now. Being honest with her is always the best way, even if she has a hard time reciprocating. She'd rather hear what you have to say, no matter how bad it is...than let her own head try and fill in the blanks. It's...what caused this whole mess in the first place.” Twilight lowered her head, her reflection in the crystal one of regretful melancholy. Catching Scootaloo's eye, she offered a small smile. “No matter what, it's better to be honest.”

Scootaloo scrutinised the older pony, all the while listening to every word. It made sense, though words were a lot simpler than actions. Even so, they bolstered her, assuring her that she did not have to be ashamed of her feelings. Indeed, it was much the same as not being ashamed of her fear. Anger was something she just had, and as such was something she could deal with. With a genuine smile, she pushed away from Twilight and stood up. “Thanks, Twilight. That, actually helped a lot.”

“It's what I'm here for,” Twilight chuckled, moving to her feet as well. “Anything else you need?”

“Nah, I think I'm good now.” Scootaloo's head turned, a noise to her left startling her to attention. Almost all of the castle lay empty and unused, did it not?

As if to neatly punctuate the end of their conversation, the simple wooden door beside them swung open. Starlight's bleary eyes took several rounds of blinking to fully bring the two ponies into focus. It took her brain another moment to register that it was weird for them to be in the hallway, outside her door. Rearing her head backwards, she raised one eyebrow and gave them both a stare of unrestrained bewilderment. It was softened somewhat by the obvious purple bags hanging under her eyes. “Something wrong?” A yawn tried to cut her off, forcing her to stifle it with a hoof.

“No, we're just talking,” Twilight said gently, acutely aware that she was mirroring her earlier half-truth. Sometimes she wondered if these things were merely coincidences or if the many lessons she had learned were gaining a life of their own. “Sorry, I got a little turned around myself and didn't realise we were right outside your door. Did we wake you?”

“No, you just sort of reminded me it was morning.” Starlight pushed down another yawn. Her cheeks felt like elastic bands on the brink of snapping, so when the third rolled in she simply let it run course. The instinctual mass intake of oxygen calmed her seemingly incessant need momentarily. “Not that it feels like it. I'm...assuming I missed something?”

The idea of directly lying, thus rendering her talk with Scootaloo tainted, left a foul taste in Twilight's mouth. “Yeah, a little bit. We're planning on going to the orphanage, all of us, if you're up to it.” The last part was pointless, they all knew it. There was no way Starlight was going to say she was not. Twilight just hoped that with everyone there, the strain would be shared between them.

“I figured as much. That...sounds like as good a plan as any.” She offered a weary grin, none of which reached her eyes. Those same eyes found Scootaloo, who was listening intently. With far too much still to say, and far too much still to hear, all she was able to squeeze through the cracks was an exhausted, “Hi.”

“Morning,” Scootaloo replied, nodding politely. She would have said more, but her stomach interrupted her. Twilight's own apparently wanted to join in the chorus, causing all three mares to share a chortle. After giving herself an all too useless shake, Starlight stepped out into the hallway and angled herself towards the nearest bathroom.

“I'll join you at breakfast, once I wake myself up a touch.” Though it felt too empty and hollow to say, her inner-self whispered softly. I won't screw this one up.

***

Despite Scootaloo assuring her all through breakfast that everything would be completely fine, Starlight still likened the short trip to walking towards a ravenous Ursa Major. Many times she had been thankful for Ponyville's small town homeliness. Now, she would have greatly preferred somewhere like Canterlot, though perhaps not actually Canterlot, so that the journey would last longer. At least she could blame her infection of goosebumps on the stiff breeze rifling through her fur.

A light chuckle drew her attention downwards, towards Scootaloo who was walking backwards in front of her. For a moment as brief as a single heartbeat, a twinge of concern began to bubble within her. When it passed, she was left no time to ponder what it meant, as Scootaloo had started lightly admonishing her. “You gotta stop worrying. I told you, Merry Heart is the nicest pony you'll ever meet. Plus, you aren't the only one to have gone running out of her office.”

“Other ponies have teleported halfway across Equestria during what should be a simple talk?” Starlight asked, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head to the same side. Considering the few ponies that could teleport, especially any significant distance, she was not surprised when Scootaloo faltered and fell back into step with the group.

She chuckled nervously, scratching at the back of her mane. “Okay maybe not quite like that but there was one time where Mayor Mare went running out of the office that she almost broke the doors.” A small frown lined the filly's face and she became thoughtful. “Still no idea what that was all about.”

Whether the story actually helped or not, Starlight found herself overtaken by a brief bout of giggles. They were quickly silenced as her hoof touched the orphanage step. The door was closed, leaving her standing awkwardly in front of it. Before she could muster the strength to knock, it swung rapidly away from her touch.

Of the ponies gathered, the culprit was obvious. The resounding thud of a wooden door striking a wall caused everyone but Rainbow to cringe backwards in alarm. With her frayed nerves already in tatters, Starlight retreated as far behind Twilight as she could manage. Rainbow was completely unaffected by the penetrating glare that the alicorn sent her way.

“Rainbow, the door opens just fine without having to hit the nearest wall.” Merry Heart shook her head in mild exasperation as she walked up to greet them. Her wave was returned by Scootaloo, and Rainbow actually managed to look a little sheepish. “And to what do I owe the pleasure?” The question was more of a formality, she had a fairly solid idea what this was about. Her suspicions were confirmed when the mare she had met yesterday stepped out from behind Princess Twilight and cleared her throat.

“It's...about yesterday,” Starlight said softly, with a lot more confidence than she currently possessed. “I'd like to finish that conversation if you aren't too busy.” She cleared her throat and crossed her forelegs. “I...promise not to vanish again.”

Even as she nodded, Merry Heart once again began to study Starlight closely, trying to get a better measure of the mare. Every muscle in her body looked ready to bolt and, if it was possible, she appeared even more skittish than their previous meeting. Presumably, that was what the back up was for. “Of course dear. I admit I wondered if you would come back, though I was not expecting it so soon.” On how much she had been able to infer, she held her own counsel. “This way. I'm sure there should be enough room in my office for everyone.”

As she followed along, Starlight found herself breathing a little easier. The reception had been warmer than she expected, something Scootaloo was quick to mutter in her ear. Even so, she could feel her insides tying themselves in knots. Every so often they would unravel, only to twist and tighten into another contorted orientation. At least her stomach was empty when they were doing this. If it had not been, the aftermath would have been unpleasant.

Once again, Merry Heart led them into the office. As she had predicted, there was just enough space for everyone, though every pony felt the slight squeeze. Flanked by Rainbow and Twilight, with Scootaloo at her hip, Starlight sat down on the chair. Realistically, she could escape as easily as she had last time, but figuratively she was as penned in as she possibly could be. Those binds holding her to her obligation were more effective than any physical chain could be. As she had said, this was bigger than just her now.

The distinctive chinking of ceramic filled the room as Merry Heart began her ritual. Tea was the great calmer after all, and one she was in abundance of. Starlight fidgeted with her hooves, talking while still biting her poor, abused lip. “Uh...I...guess I should start at the beginning...quickly anyway.”

“If that's what you think is best,” Merry Heart responded warmly, simply continuing her task. Her intuition told her this was going to take a while, and she wanted to make sure it had every second it needed.

“Like I said, I lost my foal eleven years ago and... uh...well...uh.” Her tongue twisted in of itself, contorting her words and making any sort of annunciation impossible. No matter how long it took her, she was going to remain seated until she explained everything.”

Two hooves rested against her shoulders, while a much smaller one rested against her leg. “Actually, maybe that isn't the best idea. Uh... okay. I found out who Scootaloo's mother is because well... it's me. I was looking for the foal I lost and it...it led to her. ”

“I assumed as much,” Merry Heart said gently, placing several steaming mugs of tea on the desk for sitting down. The smell squirrelled its way into Starlight's nostrils as she pulled one closer. It remained away from her lips, it was more just something for her to hold between her hooves. She quickly swapped over to magic when the mug began to turn in her still fidgeting hooves.

Sensing there was more to the story, Merry Heart flicked open a file that Starlight presumed to once again be Scootaloo's. “Scootaloo's admission into the orphanage was something of a mystery. “We've tried to solve the mystery with her a few times, looking all around Ponyville and Cloudsdale. Nothing turned up, until now.” She was fishing, trying to gently coax the story out of Starlight without being too direct.

“You wouldn't have. She was uh...born in Canterlot...” Starlight answered, drawing her hoof into her chest. “It was um... not exactly planned and it gets a bit, well very complicated actually.” Well aware that Scootaloo was still present and listening intently, she turned to her. “You...don't actually have to listen to this if you don't want to.”

“I know, but I'm staying,” Scootaloo said firmly, flashing a cocky grin that left no room for arguments. With all of her stalling done, Starlight pushed herself to just get on with it. She would not get another shot.

Telling the story in a clipped, surgically efficient fashion made the process much less arduous, but even so, the end could not come soon enough. When it finally did, Starlight buried her head in the mug that Merry Heart had offered her. While she could trust her friends to be at least understanding, a complete stranger had no obligation. For over a decade she had kept this to herself, to Scootaloo's detriment.

In all her years, Merry Heart had heard it all. Parents unable to care for their children and forced to give them up, stallions who had no idea they'd ever fathered a foal or even cases where struggling mothers had thought giving up their foal the only option. This was more than a little off the wall but unfortunately a story not completely outwith the realms of believability, or her experiences. Sometimes, ponies were the real monsters lurking in the shadows.

A small sound shattered the silence Merry Heart did not realise she had been maintaining. Starlight's mug had shattered in her grip, flooding the desk with scalding brown liquid and sending shards of ceramic skittering across the floor. Barely acknowledging the tea burning into her fur, Starlight immediately began scrambling to save the papers from further harm. “S-sorry! My magic squeezed a little too tightly and... Sorry!”

“It's fine dear, really. I've spilt enough tea on those papers to fill an entire swimming pool,” Merry Heart tried to assure her, though her words fell on deaf ears. Rather, she simply sat back and watched as all of her now soggy, brown stained papers were lifted into the air and shook violently. The tea seemed to leap from the pages, only to instantly evaporate. Now in a more pristine state than they had been before their soaking, the stack of papers neatly placed itself back onto the table.

“Then again, perhaps I should call you for spillages. There will probably be another in a couple of minutes.” The attempt at humour coaxed Starlight's lips to twitch upwards. Merry Heart released a slow breath, bringing every eye in the room towards her. “Now that I know the full story, I have to ask. Where do you plan to go from here?”

“That...is the tricky part...” Starlight admitted, her frame seeming to shrink slightly. Saying it aloud made the reality all the more real. There was no plan, no proper course of action. She really had no idea. “Well...the trickier part... I...I don't know... Sorry.”

“Very few do,” Merry Heart offered kindly, taking a sip of her tea before absently flicking through Scootaloo's file. There was no real reason to have it out, it was just something practical she could do with her hooves to keep it from feeling like an interrogation. Technically, now that Scootaloo is no longer an orphan, the orphanage would lose custody of her unless we could find any reason to continue it.”

“What sort of reasons would cause that?” Scootaloo asked, pushing herself past Rainbow and reared up on her hind legs, front hooves planted firmly on the table.

Having never felt that excluding children from conversations, particularly ones that involved them so explicitly, was productive to their development, Merry Heart took Scootaloo's sudden interruption in stride. “Well...mostly it would be because the parent is unwilling, or considered unable to provide for the child. In this case well...” she paused, taking a moment to think of the most tactful way to broach the subject. Starlight beat her to it.

“The parent is a wreck with no idea what to do with herself, and teleported halfway across Equestria in a stress-induced panic...” she said scathingly, her words coming quickly and brutally. She noticed Merry Heart's eyes widen slightly, which put an end to her tirade. With no mug to hide herself behind, she had to make do with looking at her hooves.

“That is not quite how I would have put it.” Merry Heart replied, fluidly regaining her bearings on the conversation. “Nevertheless, I will agree that perhaps you assuming custody of Scootaloo fully at this time is perhaps not the best course of action. I'm assuming the father is... out of the picture?”

Thankful that she did not have another mug in her grip, Starlight simply nodded. Behind her, she felt Rainbow and Twilight stiffen. Only Twilight knew the stallion's name, indeed she was actively keeping it away from Rainbow. Everything would come out at some point, but Starlight wanted to be a lot stronger when it did. With all the forced calm of a thunderstorm sealed in a bottle, Starlight whispered, “Yeah. I guess that's one way of putting it. I don't actually know where he is, and at the moment I don't really care.”

Rather than delve into that can of worms, Merry Heart decided it was best to simply move on for now. That could be touched upon later. “As I said, usually under these circumstances we would want to give over custody as quickly as smoothly as possible. However, we do have to keep Scootaloo's well-being as the absolute highest priority. Protocol would necessitate an investigation which-”

“Well can't Scoots just continue to stay at the orphanage but have Starlight do all the other stuff?” Rainbow interrupted, not liking where the conversation was heading. A soft breeze ruffled Starlight's mane as the cyan wings spurred into action. Even with the limited room, nothing would keep a Wonderbolt on the ground.

“Rainbow! We can't just assume that...” Twilight hissed under her breath, once again going completely unnoticed.

“What? It isn't like Starlight is evil or anything. Spoiled Rich is allowed near Diamond Tiara isn't she? Look how that ended up.” Rainbow's face blanched suddenly. She looked down and chuckled apologetically. “Sorry, not trying to compare you to her.”

“I've read up a little,” Twilight cut in before Rainbow could blurt out anything even less tactful. She was woefully ashamed of how uninformed she currently was. Law and procedure was often an overcomplicated mess and she had barely scratched the surface. It felt alien to her to be so out of the know. “But I confess I'm not sure how long such an investigation would actually last. I'm not sure right now is the bes-”

“Hold up!” Starlight suddenly yelled, immediately silencing the entire room. Even the wind outside the windows seemed to quiet at her command. With everyone's attention away from their ramblings, she spoke much more quietly. “Sorry, I just... think we need to take one step back. Can I talk to Scootaloo for a moment? Alone.”

Rather than let someone else answer for her, the young pegasus piped up. “Uh, sure. We can use my room.” Slipping under Rainbow Dash's wing, she made her way to the door. Starlight simply took a deep breath and rather than try navigating her way out past her two friends, simply vanished with a loud pop. She reappeared a few feet away from her original position, barely avoiding Scootaloo in her landing. After a hasty promise to be back, she followed the orange pegasus along the hallway.

As Scootaloo closed the door behind them, Starlight found her eyes wandering. The room was simple, yet still packed to breaking point with Scootaloo. Vibrantly coloured posters of famous flyers and stunt ponies, none of whom Starlight could name, littered the walls. “Sorry about that... I just wanted to get a few things straight before everyone started rambling.” Even though she had been in this room on more than one occasion, now the feeling of being an intruder chained her to the closed doorway. Everything felt layered and overcomplicated as if she was trying to look at the world through a stained glass window.

“It was getting a little crazy in there,” Scootaloo agreed, plopping herself down onto her haunches. “That's sorta what adults do when things get weird.”

A snicker shook through Starlight, shaking away a little bit of her worry. She always enjoyed the Crusaders' innocence, it was what made them so easy to talk to. Being upfront to the point of bluntness, as well as being easy to read, left all the tedious guesswork and expectations behind. “Yes well...Twilight does have an entire throne room dedicated to that exact need.” She snickered again, hearing Scootaloo do the same. Quietly, she took another step deeper into the room. “So...uh...what are your thoughts on all of this? About well, everything.”

Scootaloo's head tilted upwards, a confused sparkle shimmering in her eyes. “My thoughts? What do you mean?”

Despite herself, Starlight rolled her eyes, sometimes child-like innocence went both ways, though in this case it was more out of veiled nerves than cluelessness. She knelt down, to keep her knees from shaking but more importantly to put herself on Scootaloo's level. Their sudden biological relationship epiphany did not change the fact that Scootaloo had a decent head on her shoulders. “I mean, what do you want to do, about all this? About well, everything. I... haven't really asked you. I mean we've talked but... everything's just... a mess in my head right now.” She groaned, wishing her tongue would just work properly, one single time. “Sorry, I'm not very good at this.”

“Not really,” Scootaloo quipped, a cheeky grin spreading across her face.

Lifting her head, Starlight sighed. “Sorry, what I'm trying to say is... I have no idea what I'm doing. Really, I don't. I wasn't ready for this eleven years ago and yesterday showed I'm probably less ready now. I just...don't want you dragged along just because of some blood tie that came up out of nowhere.” A glow from the side wall caught both their attention. A vibrant red colour tinged Starlight's cheeks when she saw the source. Scootaloo's precious scooter was enveloped in a glimmering teal aura and doing cartwheels in mid-air. Sheepishly, Starlight extinguished the flow of magic to her horn, letting the small scooter rest back against the wall. “Of the two of us, you're also the least...”

“Crazy?” Scootaloo finished, this little insertion earning her a piercing stare. It did nothing to curb Scootaloo's amusement, so Starlight relented. Either she was losing her touch, or Scootaloo was having a particularly bold day. Her interest in dwelling on the subject dwindled almost instantly, they had more important things at hoof.

“Yeah... let's go with that. Still, you haven't answered my question.”

A faint frown creased Scootaloo's brow, as she started to weigh her options. The idea of just pretending this did not happen or acting as if the blood relation meant nothing was ridiculous. Though she knew why Starlight had brought the notion up, she dismissed it immediately. Before she could properly articulate her thoughts, a small spark ignited within her. In that instant, she realised she had lied to Twilight earlier, and her mouth moved forward without her bidding. “I'm...I'm mad...a bit” she murmured, barely moving her lips. “At...well... you...” The words came out slowly, haltingly, as if every fibre of her being wanted to drag them back. They came out regardless, and she turned away to avoid looking at what wounds they would inflict.

The admission felt like a physical strike, causing Starlight to jerk slightly. At the same time, her stomach dropped like a stone. Her chest felt ready to burst, her throat tightened and constricted her breaths and her vision blurred with water. Then, a quiet calm washed over her, like the warmth of a glowing ember. Scootaloo remained vigilant in looking away.

“To be honest, I'd be surprised if you weren't angry at me...” Starlight said softly, leaning down and nuzzling the back of Scootaloo's neck lightly. It was a weird gesture, something she'd never have even considered doing before.

The soft fur of Starlight's muzzle tickling the back of her neck caused Scootaloo to shiver. It quickly wore down her defences, drawing her head back upwards. “R-really?” she asked shakily, not quite comprehending what she had just said.

Starlight nodded, now taking her turn to avert her eyes. “Yeah. If you said you weren't then you'd probably be lying to yourself. No pony is that perfect. Trust me, I know how flawed we can be. You have every right to be mad for what I tried to take away. At the time I thought it was the only choice, but it shouldn't even have been one.” Her ears pinned themselves to her head, though this did nothing to muffle what Scootaloo said next.

“I just don't get why you don't trust anyone,” Scootaloo muttered, again cutting straight to the heart of the problem without really planning to. “You didn't trust Twilight, me, or Rainbow Dash. That's why I'm mad. I'm not mad that you ended up halfway across Equestria, or even that you tried to cast that spell. I'm mad that you didn't trust us to help. After everything. Forget the being family, isn't that what friends are supposed to do?” Her gaze took on an accusing quality, mirroring everything Rainbow Dash had said earlier. If nature versus nurture was a debate she was interested in at that moment, she would have a fairly definitive answer as to which was more important.

Several of Twilight's lessons were echoed in that heartfelt speech, lessons that Starlight had promised she would learn. “It...it is, and I do...” she choked out, perilously close to continuing her streak of tear-filled days. To keep them at bay, she slammed her eyes shut. “I do I just... I'm so used to having to do things on my own, being hurt by ponies I'm supposed to be able to rely on. It's still too easy to fall back on that when things get this... overwhelming.”

“I know...but it still...it still hurt.” With that said, Scootaloo moved on, not wanting to linger on the leaden unpleasantness. There was still more she had to say. "As for what I think about right now? I want you to be my mum...but...I dunno if I want it so bad that you end up hurting yourself.” She winced, wishing her words had been a little softer. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

“Yeah, maybe I should stop this rubbing off on you thing,” Starlight snorted, putting on a face of mock disgust. After a brief pause, she relaxed and sighed heavily. “Sorry, I seem to make a lot of things difficult don't I. Either way, I'll be fine with whatever you decide... I owe you that much...”

“You don't really owe me anything,” Scootaloo stood up, prompting Starlight to do the same. “Still, I think we both know what we have to do right now. You're my mum. That won't change, even if I'm still staying at the orphanage for a bit. It's awesome here anyway, Twilight's castle has way too many rooms.”

A laugh burst from Starlight's throat, filling the small room. “Ha, you have absolutely no idea how true that is. I swear it gets bigger and bigger the more I try and map it out.”

Scootaloo snickered, only for a pensive flash to cross her features. Another, more difficult question hung on her tongue. The pony in front of her was not the one she needed to ask, she knew that, and yet she just wanted the query gone. She wanted it out before it started to fester.

“There's something else you want to ask?” No matter what state her head was in, she knew exactly when somepony was hiding something from her. It was a gift, as well as a curse when that same mind ran rampant with half theories and shards of information. “Go ahead. I'll answer if I can.”

“I just...want to know why I was left here is all. I wasn't even old enough to have done anything...” It was phrased more like a statement, but Scootaloo's small, unsure tone compelled Starlight to answer regardless.

“That's something I can't answer properly,” she said sadly, slowly shaking her head. The movement dislodged her bang, forcing her to push it away so she could see Scootaloo clearly. Cupping her hoof under the young pegasus' chin, she carefully lifted her head upwards. Scootaloo found herself unable to turn away, from the weary sapphire eyes that burned like suns. “But...I do know that it definitely wasn't because of you.”

“Yeah, I know... it's just...” Scootaloo backed away and shook her head slowly. “It's nothing I can't handle. We should probably get back. Before this starts getting too mushy.”

***

When they returned to the office, the weight of the air clogged Starlight's chest, making her feel ill. A conversation had immediately ended the moment they entered, though Starlight had been unable to catch more than the unintelligible noise. “Well...we've talked about it, obviously and well...we don't think it's such a good idea to push things forward. For now anyway.” Chewing on her lip, she waited quietly for a response.

“Yeah, makes sense,” Rainbow's raspy voice cut through the room. Though the words were brief, Starlight was unable to stop the audible sigh of relief that burst from her lips. Soft feathers ran along her back, as powerful as any that Twilight could have spoken.

“It's awesome that I found my mum again but...” Scootaloo looked up at Starlight, who nodded encouragingly. “I don't want to lose her just as quickly because I was too eager. I've still got time, we've still got time. If we rush into it now, then... I don't really want to think about it...” She swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. Starlight carefully placed a hoof between Scootaloo's shoulder blades, rubbing the area gently.

Finally, Merry Heart spoke up, and Starlight's heart jumped in her chest. The number of beats it had just skipped in its breakneck dash did not bear thinking about. “I did not want to say anything that might push you to a conclusion, but I had hoped you would come to this decision. Rushing into things helps no one, no matter what the law may say on the matter. I do have a suggestion, or rather... I would like to pluck a suggestion that Rainbow Dash put forward earlier.”

“Huh? Oh, that one. See, I told you it was a good one!” Rainbow called out smugly. Everyone else in the room proceeded to summarily ignore her, though Scootaloo had to hold back her giggling.

“In essence, Scootaloo would remain primarily in our care, while we work with Starlight to move things forward at their own pace.” She moved her focus away from the group, narrowing it until she was speaking directly to Starlight. There are some recommendations I would like to make, for a variety of different services that may prove helpful. When such time comes that you are ready, then you will be able to assume the mantle of Scootaloo's caretaker, whenever that may be. Does that seem like a good plan, or do you have anything to add?”

“I...don't think so...” Nothing better was presenting itself, so Starlight simply nodded. “It seems like the best idea we've had so far.” She was vaguely aware of Scootaloo nodding profusely at the edge of her peripheral vision. “Thank you...for this and for looking after all these years... When I had no idea.” Looking into the eyes of the mare who had helped raise her daughter for eleven years, Starlight felt a shiver run along her spine. It was basic inadequacy, she should have been able to do more, then and now.

Keeping a professional distance was difficult, and a practice Merry Heart found herself willing to readily abandon. Only one other occasion had made her quite so glad of that policy. Reaching forward, she wrapped her hooves around Starlight and hugged the younger mare carefully. Every inch of Starlight was trembling, from what Merry Heart surmised was a multitude of different factors. For no one's ears but Starlight's, she whispered softly. “Being practical is not the same as being heartless. Things will work out in their own time.”

Starlight said nothing, afraid that speaking would push her over an edge she was desperately trying to cling to. She allowed the contact to continue for a moment, then slowly pulled away. Merry Heart released her hold immediately, letting Starlight stand on her own four feet. Many different stories reached their inevitable conclusion within these walls. Not all had been happy, but Merry Heart found herself hopeful, owing to the calibre of the ponies that were fighting for this one.

***

“That is one big stack of leaflets,” Rainbow snorted, pulling one from the top of the pile Twilight was carrying. When it failed to hold her interest, she tossed it lazily. Before it could hit the ground, a bright teal aura caught it easily.

Starlight carefully replaced the small slip of paper, not quite trusting herself not to set it alight at the slightest provocation. “Well I need all the help I can get.”

“We can have a look at them this evening,” Twilight suggested, adjusting her hold on the mass of information. Starlight had been sure to grab absolutely everything Merry Heart had offered, whether it looked like much help or not. Still, Twilight had learned that lesson a long time ago, be careful what you dismissed because it was likely to be exactly what you needed.

“I think I'll pass on that.” Pulling a face, Scootaloo handed back the leaflet she had been trying to read. “Some of these words have way too many letters.” She shrugged and looked around. “So uh...what are we gonna do in the meantime?”

“Spitfire will probably clip my wings if I miss another training session. I gotta head there uh... well ten minutes ago actually.” Well used to being awesomely late, Rainbow dipped down and ruffled Scootaloo's mane. “You gonna be alright without me squirt?”

With her mane in no worse state than it had been previously, Scootaloo moved her head up and down in a nod. “Yup. I got this.”

“Course you do,” Rainbow felt a swelling of pride shift within her. Scootaloo was taking this a lot better than she would have. Sneaking in one last ruffle of the younger pegasi's mane, she took off. The resulting sonic boom caused an explosion of colours, Starlight almost choked on the paper that tried to shove itself down her throat. Twilight's irritated yell was muffled by the ringing that lingered momentarily within the depths of her ears.

“Well... that's the next thing we have to do,” the alicorn grumbled, mechanically moving to start picking up the scattered leaflets. After sharing a shrug, Scootaloo and Starlight moved to help. With two proficient magic users at work, Scootaloo only managed to gather one, in a vain hope to be at least a little useful. It was plucked from her grasp, allowing Twilight to neatly shuffle all of the leaflets back into order. “There. Now we just have to-”

“Starlight!” The loud yell echoed across Ponyville, drawing several stares. Already recognising the voice, the aforementioned lilac unicorn turned a deep shade of red, closing her eyes and praying that she would wake up. A very familiar blue-furred, silver-maned unicorn was charging towards them with the fury of a buffalo stampede.

“I'd better deal with this. You go on ahead.” Without leaving any room for protest, she ignited her horn. Before Trixie was able to reach them, she was engulfed in magic and vanished from sight. In the next instant, Starlight was gone as well.

Letting out an unrestrained groan, Twilight turned to Scootaloo, who was trying to contain her laughter, disappointment and a little concern. “I don't know why I didn't expect that. Let's just get these back to the castle before we lose them again.” Scootaloo nodded, a little part of her wondering just what she was missing. With Trixie around, she would find out soon enough, probably the next time the eccentric show mare changed her name prefixes.

Author's Note

No, your eyes do not deceive you, I finally managed to update this. Sorry that it took so long. I really have no excuse other than that I didn't want to do a shoddy job and wasn't satisfied with what I had on the page until now. I hope you all enjoy. This is the start of act 2 if you want to think of it like that. Scootaloo has been found, so now Starlight has to learn how to be a mother, eleven years later than the norm. Then again, normal is not exactly her style. Neither is being on the good side of angry blue ponies, hehe. I hope you all enjoyed. Feedback is absolutely welcome. Thanks for reading, have a nice day.

Friends Make Everything Better.

Two unicorns landed hard atop the Castle of Friendship, seemingly dumped there out of thin air. Starlight let a loud moan draw itself from her lips as she nursed her pounding head. At the very least it had remained intact this time, allowing her to retain her faculties. Even if her world was a mess of objects flanked by their distorted doppelgangers amidst a sea of fog, it was still there.

“Trixie!” she called out frantically, worry clawing into her tone. If the transportation had been rough of her, then Trixie could be anywhere. Blinking rapidly, she tried to remove the blur from her vision. Her ears flicked, as somepony started spluttering. It was a sound she had heard many times, though she had never been gladder to hear it as she was right then. Her knees almost buckled, but there was no way time to collapse just yet. Fumbling around with her magic, she found a warm body and heaved it out of the small pool of water. She had completely forgotten to remove it after her last chillaxing session with Rainbow, at the very least she hoped it had broken Trixie's fall. It was certainly going to inflame her ire.

The minor grievance of speech making her feel nauseous would barely put a dent in Trixie's compulsion to vent any and all frustrations. If she felt slighted, the world was going to hear about it. The fact that she often did so with the subtlety of a wrecking ball was of no consequence. In her experience, that was simply what it took to get ponies to listen. “Ugh...if that is how Starlight teleports, maybe Trixie would be better off learning from Twilight.” After giving her hoof several disdainful shakes she returned attention to the rest of her body and a cascade of water soon splattered across the roof. Whether the liberal soaking Starlight received was intentional or not, her lips were sealed.

Cutting jibes she was used to, being soaked was probably simple karma, but the frost that layered Trixie's tone caused Starlight to flinch. So, this was how it was going to go. Deep down she had expected it, it was why she had gotten them as far away from town as her magic would allow. Trixie had every right to be angry, the town had no right to gawk. In an attempt to be placating, Starlight gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “Yeah...that was my fault. It's usually not so bad, I just rushed the spell a little- uuh a lot...and...” Another awkward chuckle burst from her lips, doing nothing to thaw Trixie's frigid disposition.

A daggered stare silenced Starlight, letting Trixie take the rooftop stage. “Yes, well Trixie thinks that is currently the least of your...” she fumbled for a good word, lips flapping as she rolled several around in her tongue. Not even Princess Perfect had touched so many nerves that her vocabulary had effectively failed her. Out of habit more than anything else, Starlight made a suggestion, then immediately wished she had kept her mouth shut.

“...Transgressions?”

Whirling around, Trixie pressed her muzzle against Starlight's with such force that Starlight could feel her nose wrinkling. The heat radiating from Trixie made the already uncomfortable situation, almost unbearable. “Yes, that will do. Transgressions. The Great and Powerful Trixie thinks that the Wrong and Dishonest Starlight, has some explaining to do!”

Owing to their extreme proximity, Starlight felt the unrestrained venom dripping from every word as well as she heard it. It was perilously close to coating her face, Trixie had that restraint at least. Until now, she had been prepared to take whatever Trixie dished out. The unflattering title did not simply toe the line, rather it leapt over and stomped all over it. “Dishonest?” she hissed, aghast as she shoved against Trixie's chest in order to create some breathing room. “Trixie, what are you talking about? You think I kept this from you on purpose?”

“How else do you explain it? Trixie gets a visit from Twilight, dragging her to the castle. Then she finds out that her first and best friend Starlight is the mother of a foal and has been for eleven years!” The show-mare growled, her anger rising with every moment. It felt almost alien. She had been angry before and was admittedly a vengeful mare, but a desire to bring Starlight as low as possible buzzed angrily within her. She swallowed hard, trembling as she tried to re-direct her rage towards the matter at hand. “That is a pretty big thing to keep from Trixie!”

“It wasn't on purpose.” Starlight said earnestly, trying to press ahead again. Trixie rebuked her once again, shooting her a glare that betrayed utter disbelief. Sighing, Starlight maintained her distance, beginning to pace back and forth. She had not anticipated Trixie being this angry. They disagreed often, with the occasional spat becoming heated. This was different, the Trixie before her was absolutely livid. “Why didn't you bring this up last night?” The slight crack in her voice almost caused Starlight to whimper. She had to hold this together.

Tossing her head, Trixie gave herself another shake. More water droplets sprayed out in all directions, though none were able to reach Starlight this time. “Hmmph, Twilight practically threatened to ban Trixie from the castle if she so much as mentioned it to you.” Even mentioning the alicorn's name brought a bitter growl into Trixie's voice that was far outwith her usual brash mocking. “Suddenly it seems Trixie is simply not good enough for Starlight?! Is that it?”

Starlight fell backwards slightly, letting Trixie's words play again and again in her head. All of her own irritation fled from her, it was clear to her now. Trixie was a pony who had tried desperately not to care about anyone but herself. Then, Starlight had come along and smashed her attempts to pieces. As boisterous, egotistical and occasionally unbearable as Trixie could be, what Starlight had inadvertently done would be comparable to Sunburst slamming the door in her face at their reunion. Of course, there was the small fact that she had absolute faith Twilight would have mentioned the detail about this being a recent revelation to her as well, in a way. So, either Trixie had not been paying attention or had completely overlooked it. That she could see either being the case had Starlight undecided on whether she wanted to laugh or slam her head into the floor. Either option would have been satisfying but she instead opted for edging towards her wounded friend.

In a final display of stubbornness, Trixie pulled away from Starlight's outstretched hoof and turned her back. Starlight flinched, pulling back. Being friendly was not working, being remorseful was not working and though she was sure that arguing Trixie down would eventually yield results, she had neither the strength nor the desire. The best option was to simply lay down and wait. She said nothing, keeping herself perfectly still. No matter how much her muscles burned and raged at her, she ignored their calls and focused intently on the mare in front of her.

For a while, Trixie did nothing in response but seethe quietly. Her still damp fur was bristling so violently that Starlight was surprised steam had not begun to pour from her. Just as she was beginning to worry that she had grossly underestimated the show-mare's anger, Trixie 's neck turned slightly. The movement was minimal not enough for eye contact but Starlight noticed it immediately. The temptation to speak almost bested her, which would have ruined the whole endeavour. Biting her tongue, she continued to wait.

Another brief glance, this time accompanied by a slackening of the azure unicorn's shoulders. The third time, a small sigh escaped Trixie's lips, drifting on the wind and lingering in the silence. Finally, she turned her body fully, facing Starlight once again.

“You're far too stubborn...” she muttered, shaking her head. Her scowl was gone, replaced by a passive look that almost twitched into a smile more than once.

“I have to be,” Starlight said gently, laying one hoof over the other. “To keep up with you. I also wasn't about to just leave you up here, as angry as you were.”

Trixie huffed, blowing upwards and shifting her wet bang away from her eyes, which narrowed once more. “If you had done that, then Trixie would have raided Twilight's cupboards until there was nothing left.” She averted her gaze momentarily, a rare vulnerability showing in the cracks gouged into her brash demeanour. “You...really didn't mean to keep this from me?”

This time, Trixie did not flinch away when Starlight's hoof reached out to touch hers. The lilac unicorn could scarcely have masked the note of pleading that ran through her voice, even if she had wanted to. “No...I didn't. It wasn't something I ever wanted to reveal to myself. It wasn't ever meant to see the light of day again.” Starlight winced, thanking every star that was listening that Scootaloo had not been around to hear her blurt that out so crudely. Tact was never going to be her strong point. “I'd never keep something like this from you...not intentionally at least.”

A low hum vibrated in Trixie's chest, as she pondered whether or not to relinquish her anger. The burning heat of her friend's slight still stuck to her like a brand, her grudges never faded quickly. She would hold onto them until the perpetrator was grovelling at her feet. More often than not they simply left, rightly deciding that she was not worth the trouble. It was with great shame that she admitted to herself that old habits died hard. Even Starlight had not been immune to this, though after everything they had been through she should have been. There really was only one correct course of action.

Her anger tasted foul when swallowed, similar to bile. She quickly abandoned the thought, shuddering with disgust. Intangible emotions did not have tastes, so whatever she had just shoved into her stomach did not bear thinking about. There were more important things to deal with at the moment and if she knew Starlight, the mare was about to explode with a forced smile on her face.

“Alright... I believe you. And I forgive you.”

Starlight's shoulders slumped as a shaky laugh of relief rolled across the roof. That was another check mark off her rapidly growing list of holes she had to mend. The ground beneath her had collapsed into a crumbling mess, with every foundation she tried to lay quickly rotting away. Gradually, she was starting to win and her patchwork repairs were holding stronger with every reconstruction. It was a good thing too, the next few minutes were going to put their strength to the test. Pressing her lips together, she stood up as if her next steps were going to be through the gates of Tartarus.

“I need to go see Sunburst,” she said suddenly, hearing Trixie move to her own feet with a slight rustling sound. They stood shoulder to shoulder, just as they had against Chrysalis, Princess Celestia, and her village. A void that Starlight had been unaware of filled itself, bringing her attention to another still gaping in her chest.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Trixie chuckled and bumped against Starlight's flanks. She was still damp, prompting Starlight's horn to glow. The sudden influx of warmth soothed away the remaining bitterness. Without missing a beat, she grinned and put a hoof under Starlight's chin, forcing her to look up. “Don't worry so much. After me, I'm pretty sure Sunburst will be an absolute cinch.”

Starlight rolled away from Trixie's hoof when the contact had lasted just a little too long. Trixie could bounce from one emotion to the next so quickly it made her dizzy. Still, it was good to have the show-mare pushing boundaries, rather than creating them. “You know, sometimes I think you give me a hard time on purpose, to teach me a lesson.” Her lips twitched into a smirk when Trixie's chest puffed out just a little too much. “Then I come to my senses.”

Nimbly avoiding a playful bat on the back of the head, Starlight danced a few steps away from Trixie. She was correct though, Sunburst was certainly more placid, and less likely to lash out. He was far more likely to foist the blame onto himself. Somehow, Starlight was going to have to find the patience to stop him. At least, doing so face to face would be easier than trying to operate on such a slippery slope over a letter. She hoped so anyway.

Finding the orange stallion was easy. Put Sunburst in a building with a book and he would be invariably nestled amongst the largest concentration. Cadance had already rushed back to the Crystal Empire, her duties not permitting her to linger. Sunburst had been given leave to stay as long as was needed, they could handle Flurry Heart in the meantime. Whether the extended stay would be a blessing or a curse, they would find out sooner than Starlight would like.

She heard Sunburst before she saw him, a sign that shook her to the bones. As a foal, Sunburst only ever read aloud when he was trying to block out the world around him. Even when he was teaching her a spell, he would show it to her rather than read to her. Swallowing, she called out into the endless expanse of books. “Sunburst! Are you in here?”

“You have to ask that?” Trixie huffed under her breath, “I can hear him from here.”

“Oh, and what else am I supposed to start with?” Starlight hissed back, freezing immediately when a small stack of books shifted to reveal the dishevelled stallion.

If Trixie could be called upset, then Sunburst was definitely on the worried side of the equation. As soon as he heard the voice of his childhood friend, whatever he had been reading ceased to matter. He threw aside the stack of books, something he would have to apologise to Twilight for later. For a brief moment, he felt like a pegasus, flying over the table, “Starlight! How are you-!” Unfortunately, his overall aversion to athleticism and his unwieldy cloak quickly turned flying into falling. The crystal floor rushed up to meet him, as heavy books crashed down to do the same.

Time seemed to freeze, and the myriad of books stopped their descent just as Sunburst did. He was left staring at his reflection in the crystal floor as book after book whizzed above his head. With nothing to do but wait, his mind began to wind back towards a memory that echoed his current predicament well. He had gotten his cutie mark protecting a much younger Starlight from a falling tower of books. It had been a momentous occasion, that had dragged him away from his oldest friend. Now, years later, that same friend made the same task look absolutely trivial.

Every book marched itself back to its rightful place, or at least where Twilight wanted it to be for that month. Now, if only he could be afforded the same luxury. “Um... Starlight, maybe you could let me down now?” he asked, grinning nervously and looking at the upside down forms of both mares.

“Oh!” Starlight yelped, quickly bringing Sunburst back to the proper orientation and setting him down. His starry cape whirled around, buffeting Trixie in the face. “Sorry, almost forgot I was still holding you.”

“Heh, no worries. I guess a full grown pony isn't much to you is it?” Sunburst chuckled, readjusting his glasses.

“I've held far heavier,” Starlight answered dismissively, shaking her head and pointing at him accusingly. “Maybe we should leave the leaping over tables to the pegasi," She tried to keep a stern face, only to crack into a grin moments later, eyes shimmering brightly. Only on the day when Equestria ended would Sunburst stop being clumsy. Then again, in their younger days, she had been the culprit in most of their mishaps. Maybe it was the ridiculous cape. She almost suggested that he lose it, but saying so with Trixie around would be tantamount to blasphemy.

Despite his friend's joviality, Sunburst felt suitably chastised. Starlight always was scary when she wanted to be. “Yeah, maybe that would be a good idea. Though there is a spell for that. It can give a pony wings for three days. On the downside, they do tend to be rather fragile.”

Having already come across the spell, Starlight had heard about the story in its entirety. With every minute detail, she had gotten closer and closer to mistaking Rarity for Pinkie Pie. “Yeah, Twilight already tried that apparently. Wings just get in the way anyway, I'll stick to levitation.”

“Given how bad your teleportation is, I agree with that idea.” Nimbly avoiding the swift elbow that Starlight sent her way, Trixie retaliated by sticking out her tongue.

“I had one bad teleport, that's all. You'll still be begging me for lessons in a day or two.” Starlight quipped back, shaking her head at Trixie's pitiful attempt to look innocent. Rolling her eyes, she decided to leave the mare to her short-lived denial and get back to their whole reason for being here. “Anyway. I...guess I should tell you both how it went huh?”

“If you want,” Sunburst answered, recoiling rapidly as Trixie practically warped herself in front of Starlight. He ended up with his flank pressed uncomfortably against the hard wooden table, until Starlight forcibly pushed her back to give him space. Shifting his glasses, he nodded gratefully, while Trixie sulked. “I was hoping to at least be able to wish you good luck, but you'd already left.”

“Oh...yeah, sorry about that...” Starlight's hooves shuffled back and forth, suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the room. She had not really considered that. All of them in the tiny office would have been a recipe for another disaster, but she could have allowed them to at least see her off. “I wasn't sure that I'd be able to...y'know.”

“Wasn't sure you'd be able to wait?” Sunburst finished, smiling at her knowingly. Same old Starlight, even with everything that had happened between now and then. “You always were pretty impulsive. Always jumping into every spell before doing the proper reading. As I recall it never got you very far.”

“And you were always too much of a worry-wart,” Starlight shot at him, raising an eyebrow and letting a smirk play on her lips. “Everything always worked out fine in the end.” For a moment, the two old friends were taken back to a time when everything was simpler. They had each other and that was all that mattered. Often, Starlight had wondered if it would be worth it to return to that time. A dry dusty feeling in the back of her throat always stopped those thoughts from becoming any more than mournful longings. “Yeah...it's weird how little has changed...even after everything that's happened.”

The orange stallion squirmed slightly. Twilight had let it slip why Starlight had been in Canterlot in the first place, and he already knew what his cutie mark had inadvertently caused her to do down the line. That day would be cemented in his memory for all of the wrong reasons. If he had wasted a little less time on books and spent a little more time realising just how much he had meant to his oldest friend, then a lot could have changed. Something as simple as a letter would have changed all of this. “Well...you've had a more eventful life than I have. Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns was actually pretty quiet. Then I moved to the Crystal Empire where it was even more peaceful...well, until Flurry Heart that is.” Thinking about the little alicorn he was now partially responsible for, he chuckled lightly. Calling her a handful was a gross understatement.
“Yeah...that foal can make anything exciting.”A sudden chill rolled its way over Starlight's spine as if the Frozen North was creeping up behind her. “Still, we managed to get through everything, somehow.”

A pit carved its way into Trixie's stomach, she could scarcely believe what she was hearing. Blinking once confirmed that she was indeed still awake. There was no way she could not be after the dunking Starlight had inadvertently given her. “Wait....so you aren't mad at Starlight concealing all of this from you? Even though she's your oldest friend?” Her usual cocky drawl was displaced by a gnawing confusion. Her anger had felt so justified and natural but now she was overcome by a hollow numbness.

“Why would I be? It happened a long time ago...after we had drifted apart for years.” Sunburst shook his head, bemused by the very idea. “Plus, didn't Twilight say that Starlight only found out herself a few days ago.” His nose wrinkled, and Starlight could feel a Sunburst spiel coming on. “Memory spells are finicky things, in fact, there are several recorded events of them being completely permanent. One unlucky mage even forgot his own-”

“Okay...Trixie is feeling bad enough as is, a nerd lecture isn't exactly going to make me feel better! Starlight, you have a question to answer.”

Starlight, who had been perilously close to laughter once more, immediately sobered up. If that was not a metaphor for her current predicament then it should be. After every high, there was a horrible low. At least the question was one of the easiest she had had to answer yet. “The orphanage is going to maintain custody of Scootaloo until I...” she struggled to think of a word. What was it she really needed to do?

Flicking her long silver tail behind her, Trixie piped up with something that Starlight had not even considered. “Calm down?”

Calm down, was that it? It felt so simple, yet it was something she had wrestled with for years. The slightest thing pushed her into a fit of nerves, or worse a thrashing, vengeful rage. It would be a start at least. “That...and learn how to actually be a mother. There's apparently classes for that, weirdly enough.”

“There are classes for just about anything,” Sunburst said diplomatically. “Are you going to go through with them? I think it might be a good idea.”

“Anything to keep me from casting another spell...” Starlight cut him off ears pinning her ears back against her head. Thinking about that with a clearer head gave every little grain of the memory painfully gratuitous detail. She had been so close to being so stupid. “And anything I can do to make it up to everyone. You all don't need to be worrying about me all the time, and Scootaloo deserves to be happy...”

“She seemed like she was pretty happy before all of this,” Trixie shrugged, the sentence spilling out of her mouth. Her meaning was obvious, though at the immediate crumbling of Starlight's frame she had to correct herself. “I'm just saying, it doesn't have to be some big bombastic thing.”

“That's coming up a lot actually,” Starlight shook her head, her eyelids drooping from all the oppressive weight of...just about everything. Though it had already been dealt with, she had one more thing left to get off her chest. “I'm really sorry I didn't write to you as soon as I found out. Both of you. I just didn't want half of Equestria getting involved and in doing so...I probably got half of Equestria involved.”

Another slap on her back almost sent Starlight to the floor. Of her two friends, there was no need to waste time guessing who that had been. “Pfft. Screw half of Equestria, and the other half. We're here to help. I can't have my great and powerful assistant teleporting into the middle of nowhere because she cracked under the pressure.”

Each word felt like a blow to Starlight's gut. It was the truth, and she needed to hear it...it just somehow felt even more painful than when Rainbow Dash had her in a vice-grip. “Again with the hard time on purpose thing...”

“What was that?” Trixie asked, head suddenly appearing right next to Starlight's. The sudden intrusion of her personal bubble caused Starlight to jump, scrambling away before she had even gotten back to earth.

“Nothing!” was what she was able to bark out, before having to rub her haunches. Crystal was many things, pleasant to fall on was not one of them. The more she thought about it, the more she wished the Golden Oak's Library had not been reduced to a smouldering ash heap and a hanging chandelier. It would have been much more pleasant if a little cramped. According to Spike he and Twilight had slept in the same room, something that would have driven a freshly reformed Starlight absolutely mad.

Rather than press the issue, Trixie merely shrugged while Starlight pulled herself back to her hooves, with Sunburst's help. When his old friend had dusted herself off, the bookworm stallion asked, “Where's Scootaloo and Twilight now?”

Starlight inclined her head towards the door. “Probably in the castle. At least, unless they took a detour.”

“Awesome!” Trixie exclaimed, rising up to her full height. “I want to go meet mini Starlight. I could always use another assistant.” Without waiting for another word, Trixie marched out of the door. Left in her wake, Starlight and Sunburst looked at each other. Both chuckled lightly, equally as powerless to ever stop Trixie being Trixie. Not that Starlight would ever want to.

“At least it's going to be interesting,” Sunburst tried, hoping to put a positive spin on the eccentric mare's antics.

Starlight let her eyes roll, her entire world spinning far less than it had done in previous days. “It always is that...” A tickle in her throat forced her to cough, dislodging a small question that she could only whisper. “So...how do you really feel about all this?”

For a brief moment, Sunburst looked both surprised and confused. The soft, vulnerable look that Starlight gave him removed almost two decades from her face. He was sure that the abashed glance to the side did the same for him. “You always were the more astute one.”

“No offence, but that isn't all that hard.” She gave him a gentle nudge, letting him know in no uncertain terms that the subject was not about to change. “So...”

“I'm just sorry that I didn't stay in touch. I didn't know how much I meant to you.” The melancholic statement hung in the air, neither pony sure how to follow it. Shakily, Starlight put her best hoof forward in trying.

“I-I think...we were too young to know that. Both of us were. I only figured it out when you left. You were the only good thing in my life, the only thing I could look forward to every day. I shouldn't have put all that on you.”

“Hey, I was happy to have a friend like you. It didn't do me any harm.”

“That's a first,” Starlight tried to joke, but her smile was more of a grimace. Biting her lip briefly, she was just able to restrain herself from chewing on it thoroughly. “Just...promise me that everything's okay... I don't want any of my friends tearing themselves up over this... Any more than has already happened.”

“We'll all feel a bit of regret, we can't stop that,” he replied simply. She had already read him as easily as a book, there was no reason to lie to her, nor did he have any desire to.

It was not the answer she was hoping for but it was one that she could appreciate more than most ponies. Pushing her mane aside, she set her face into a determined half smile. “Okay. Well, I'd better go and... learn to be a mother.” She turned on hoof but did not move. She looked over her shoulder uncertainly, half of her face hidden by her mane. “You coming?”

“Of course I am Starlight,” Sunburst replied with a small smile, walking up beside her. Together, they walked out after Trixie. The royal blue unicorn found herself yanked back into the group, much to her chagrin and her companions' amusement. In the end, all she could do was grumble and chuckle along with them.

***

“And we're back!” Starlight called as they passed the threshold of the living room, cutting in before Trixie could perform one of her grand entrances. If Sunburst was going to be subjected to that, it would be during her shows. Otherwise, there was a certain level of resistance that had to be built up first.

Twilight looked up from the stack of flyers that she was, unsurprisingly, already deeply engrossed in. A bored looking Scootaloo leapt from one of the armchairs. waving frantically. “Awesome!”

“I trust everything is okay?” Twilight asked, a gentle smile smoothing the frown of concentration that had previously marred her brow.

Sitting down on one of the armchairs, Starlight let herself sink into it. “Yup. Everyone's up to speed and I see you already started. How's it going?” Before Twilight could answer, the cushion underneath Starlight shifted. Looking down, she saw Scootaloo sharing her seat, nestling herself into the cushion.

Completely unabashed, Scootaloo just grinned upwards. “You stole my seat.”

“Oh...uh...oops...” Starlight made to move but found herself completely sandwiched into place. How someone a third of her size was able to do that, she really had no idea. To try and save face, she looked up to Twilight. “So...uh...you getting anywhere?”

Smiling slightly, Twilight passed over several leaflets. “I don't know where Merry Heart gets all this stuff. I can read as much as the next pony.” That statement was met with a round of snickers from everyone besides Sunburst. Twilight's face soured briefly, then she simply shrugged and continued. “Have a look at some of these and tell me what you think.”

Starlight let her magic overlap with Twilight's turning magenta into light blue as the leaflets floated over to her. Spreading them out, Starlight let her eyes dart back and forth, focusing first on the large imposing titles and then honing in whenever she felt the need. Immediately, she spotted a problem. “Does your precious tot keep you up all night? Learning how to properly change a diaper... something I never had to do. The proper way to-...also something I never had to do.” With a huff she slammed every leaflet down onto the table, crumpling several against the dark wood. “Twilight all of these are for babies.”

The alicorn chuckled, having discarded several others for the same reason. “Yeah, your situation is a little...unheard of. They may still be able to help us but I think we should keep looking.”

“Why are there so many anyway?” Three leaflets floated over to Trixie, who gave them barely a glance before tossing them aside. It was all nonsense to her anyway, she was just here for moral support. “Did Princess Bookworm have a fit over all the fancy words?”

While Twilight shot Trixie a glare that only made the smug grin widen, Starlight corrected the assumption with a shake of her head. “No, that was me. I figured I may as well take all the help I could get and Merry Heart was practically bursting to give it to me. I guess I may have forgotten that I was potentially making the haystack bigger.”

“Sometimes bigger is better.” Sunburst attacked the pile with far more gusto than Trixie had, books were what he lived for after all and his talent seemed to be providing others with the information they desperately needed. “A bigger haystack means potentially a whole lot more needles. Particularly if the needles were already placed there.”Looking around, he saw several eyes blinking at him, causing him to wilt slightly. His shoulders slumped as no one could give him any more than utter bewilderment. The crushing silence did not help either. “Uh...the metaphor loses something when you try and add to it.”

“Most do,” Twilight offered, standing up and giving herself a small stretch. “I'm going to go and get some tea. Does anyone else want some?”

“That...might be an idea. We'll be here a while.” With a deep breath, Starlight grabbed another set of leaflets. Again, useless so she tossed them aside.

She felt Scootaloo shuffle against her leg. Looking down, she saw the young filly fidgeting slightly. A soft smile came unbidden, but not unwelcome, to her lips. “Bored?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Keeping Scootaloo in one place for too long never ended well. Honestly, Starlight had wondered several times how Cheerilee's classroom managed to stay intact. She almost groaned. If it did break apart...she was now responsible. At least fixing things within about twenty seconds was part of her repertoire.

“Maybe a little bit,” Scootaloo admitted with a shrug, gesturing to the mountain of flyers, pamphlets and advertisements they still had to sift through. “Not really what I usually do on a weekend.”

Starlight chuckled, having a very good idea what Scootaloo would rather be doing. It almost unanimously involved some dangerous stunt involving her scooter or hanging out with the Crusaders. “You don't have to stay you know. I can handle this one.”

Having to assure a young filly that she would be able to handle a couple of leaflets felt degrading but it was something her pride had to swallow. Even so, Scootaloo shook her head. “I know, but I still want to know what's going on. I need to make sure you don't pick something which isn't a total bore... if there even is such a thing.”

“You should try friendship lessons,” Starlight said, winking down at her daughter. “If there's one thing they are not...it's boring.”

“You're still going to have to convince me of that,” Trixie scoffed, interjecting herself into the conversation. Pulling her signature hat out of seemingly nowhere, she placed it on her head with her usual flourish. “So...I take it this is mini Starlight?” she asked, giving Scootaloo a look that would make an x-ray green with envy.

“It's Scootaloo,” the young pegasus answered, leaning back a little bit. Trixie had enslaved the entire town not so long ago. It was in the past, but Scootaloo still found her a little weird.

”You're taller than I thought you would be,” Trixie mused, tilting her head to the side slightly. Without missing a beat, she shot Starlight a cheeky glance before asking, “So, what do you know about fireworks?”

Scootaloo's eyes lit up and she opened her mouth to answer eagerly. Starlight groaned as a small scar that she happened to be sitting on started to burn. She looked to Sunburst for help, but he was far too absorbed in reading... Perhaps it was time to invent a spell that would make her fireproof. Spike could help her with that one.

***

After a quick detour, Twilight was quietly humming in the kitchen as she waited on her kettle to boil. The cups and tray had already been set, precisely on schedule. Unfortunately, the kettle was taking a little longer to boil than she had anticipated. Maybe she should have given more allowance for the energy needed to boil the larger volume of water.

The sound of doors opening stopped her calculations before they could start. With his Rarity plush clutched tightly in one hand, Spike walked into the kitchen. With everyone handling everything, he had squirrelled every single bit of sleep into his system as he could get. There was no telling when he would have to forfeit some in the near future.

“How'd it go?” he mumbled, blearily rubbing an eye with his free hand. He knew nothing untoward had happened, Twilight was far too relaxed for that, but knowing where they stood would be helpful. Then again, he remembered just in time who he was talking to. “Wait. Tell me while I eat breakfast.”

Twilight suppressed a good-natured sigh, waiting for Spike to prepare himself a bowl of cereal. She held her tongue when he brazenly laced it with several gemstones. They all needed a little pick me up to help them through this. By the time he was situated, Twilight had begun pouring the tea. Filling him in was easy, his eating staved off any interruptions. By the time she was finished, a platter of tea was ready and waiting to be carried out.

Spike chewed thoughtfully on his current mouthful, then swallowed. “Huh, so we're not quite out of the woods yet.”

“Not exactly,” Twilight answered ruefully. “It's a good start but I'm still...on edge. Starlight is still a little unpredictable.” Spike snorted at her gross understatement but she made no comment. “I also want her to be ready for any questions Scootaloo might want to ask, down the line I mean.”

“So, prevent a problem rather than fix a problem? That's not usually our style.”

While Spike was snickering, Twilight had to agree with him. She wanted Starlight to make her own mistakes and fix them, provided it was nothing too drastic. It was how Celestia had taught her after all. However, Starlight was soon going to be responsible for Scootaloo. Before that could happen, Starlight had to become a lot more stable. It was progressing, but at a rate that was simply not adequate. Starlight herself probably knew the same thing.

Motion in front of her face snapped Twilight out of her little trance. Spike was waving a spoon in front of her face. Grabbing it, she tossed the dirty utensil towards the sink. After last night, if she never saw another dirty dish, it would be far too soon. Even with Starlight's help, Trixie, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Sugar Belle at one dinner was a complete recipe for disaster. Spike followed her gaze. The few breakfast plates would hardly take Twilight a moment, but the young dragon started the water running anyway. “I'll get that.”

“Thanks, Spike,” Twilight smiled gratefully, reaching over and hugging him gently. She had gotten incredibly lucky the day she gained her cutie mark. Not only had it carried her all the way to Celestia's school and then all the way to alicornhood, it had also given her the best Number One assistant she could ask for. He was always going to be there for her. Without hesitation, she removed something from under her wing. “Do you think this is a good idea?”

Spike took the small business card and looked it over carefully. He remembered it vaguely. Celestia had given it to Twilight not long after her anxieties began to become blatantly apparent. The solar princess had caught her prized pupil studying herself into a frenzy, while stress refused to let anything stick. The ongoing cycle drove the young unicorn mad, the only way she would get sleep was by sobbing herself into it. A few days later, everything had come crashing down and Celestia had found her curled into a ball, drowning in a sea of notes, books and diagrams. The card had been one of many ways Celestia had been able to help Twilight through the gauntlet of her own fears.

“It survived?” Spike asked incredulously, turning it over in his claws. Aside from the singed corners and a small hole through the middle, it had fared an explosion well for something so fragile.

“Yeah...I could hardly believe it either.” Twilight looked down at the battered piece of paper. After so long, it was still with her. A fraction of the help Celestia had offered her in a troubled youth. If only others had gotten the same help, then Equestria could have been a much more peaceful place.

“And you're sure this is a good idea?” he asked, handing the card back to her. She nodded slowly, tucking it back underneath her wing. Spike rotated the tap back into the closed position, then began placing used dishes into the now bubbly sink. “Then suggest it. She knows you only want to help. And...honestly?” He glanced around nervously, living with two mages who could teleport on a whim was enough to instil a deep caution in a young dragon. “She's needed that kind of thing for a while...”

Twilight said nothing, giving her young dragon another hug. He returned it quickly, then shooed her off. “I'll bring in something to eat once I'm done here. You got this.”

“Only because I have you.” Twilight chuckled softly, picking up the tray of tea and walking out of the kitchen. The small anomaly in tucked into her feathers scratched against her side. She would have to present her idea at the right time and with the right amount of tact. It was something that Starlight should have been given years ago, even before the incident in Canterlot and certainly after. Again and again, Twilight found her picture of a perfect Equestria being slowly eaten away.

***

“There you are! Look, this one almost sounds like you” Trixie smirked, shoving the paper under Twilight's nose before she was fully through the door. Shooting the show-mare a disdainful glance, Twilight placed the tea on the only empty spot on the crowded table, then began to read. “This sounds nothing like m-” The words fled from her throat, leaving one of Equestria's princesses a fish jawed mess. Scootaloo, Starlight, Sunburst and Trixie all stared, waiting for some sort of explanation. The most highly strung of the four, Starlight's patience was quickly spent and she aimed a hard nudge into Twilight's ribs. The alicorn jerked violently but her eyes were glued to the leaflet. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Starlight yanked it from Twilight's grasp.

“”Parenting Classes for mothers and fathers of all ages. Bring your child, have fun and learn. Yada yada yada... What are you all going on about?” Trixie was too busy laughing to answer her, Twilight was still staring straight ahead as if she had just seen a ghost. Scootaloo and Sunburst both looked as confused as she did. Grumbling, Starlight looked over the words again. “I don't get it either. Wait... I see it now. Twilight Velvet, that does sound a bit like you...Wait... Uh, Twilight...isn't that?”

“Yup...that would be my mum...” Twilight groaned, slamming her head into the table.

“Wait, your mum gives parenting classes?” Scootaloo asked, hopping off the armchair and trying to get a peek. She grinned when Starlight lowering the page for her, allowing her to actually see what everyone was getting so worked up about.

Lifting her head, Twilight let out another pained groan and shook her head. “Apparently yes... It's the first time I've heard of it.”

“Why would your mum just decide to set up parenting classes?”

Twilight turned to Sunburst, who had asked the question. “Mum gets...bored, a lot. She isn't happy unless she's doing the most out there thing she can think of at the time. I guess it's where I get my creative streak from.” A chortle rose in Twilight's throat, as the memories came back to her. A warm feeling buzzed in her chest. As much as her mum could sometimes be a little much, she would not have it any other way. “There was one time, back when I had still to get my cutie mark. We were supposed to be taking a nice relaxing camping trip at Greenbay Falls. Mum decided to remove the word relaxing.” Another giggle broke up Twilight's story. “I don't think Shining Armour will ever go white water rafting again. It was also the first time I'd ever seen Cadance with a hair out of place. I needed a lot of cuddles with Smarty Pants to get over that one.”

Trixie snickered, drinking in the new material she would have to use as ammunition against Twilight in the future. Scootaloo meanwhile, was listening with unmasked interest, grinning from ear to ear. “Your mum sounds awesome!”

“She is,” Twilight hummed wistfully, eyes glazing over slightly. Maybe, after all of this was over, it would be fun to have another family vacation at Greenbay Falls. She would just have to make sure Flurry Heart kept the forest mostly intact.

Starlight had dipped from the conversation, reading the small, colourful piece of paper again and again. The sad truth was, as much as they wanted to help, none of her friends had the slightest idea about how to be a mother. Twilight had raised Spike, but they acted more as brother and sister than anything else. The closest would be Cadance, but Scootaloo had long since passed the stage that Flurry Heart was at. Wherever he was, Wind Rider would have to hope upon a hope that she did not stumble across him. Not actively seeking revenge was one thing, refusing it when it was handed to her on a silver platter would be quite another.

That left her with two options: go to a complete stranger and potentially end up in Dodge Junction or worse, or go to Twilight's mother and face potential embarrassment from a somewhat friendly face. There was potential in the idea, as long as Twilight was okay with it. The last thing she wanted was to make anything awkward, or worse cause a rift between the two. One other question burned on her tongue.

“Was she a good mother?”

Twilight was pulled out of her blissful reminiscing, having the answer immediately to hand. “Oh, she was the best! She always knew just what to do whenever we were upset, she read us all the best stories and she was always there. No matter what I or Shining Armour needed, she would move a mountain to make sure we were taken care of.” Suddenly realising what Starlight was getting at, she froze, “Wait...you're serious?”

Starlight nodded, busying her magic with making tea. She passed Scootaloo the bottle of Apple juice, by which time she had been able to gather her thoughts. “I am if you're okay with it... I would much rather never set foot in Canterlot again, but I'm going to have to. I haven't found a single advertisement that lists Ponyville, not that we'd need one to find it. I guess I just think it'd be better if I had a little more confidence in my teacher to begin with. You say she's a good mother...then that's what I need.”

“It might not be a bad idea,” Sunburst took the flyer, reading it over. “She seems to be aiming it at parents with foals around Scootaloo's age too. Twilight it's practically perfect.”

“I guess that runs in the family too,” Trixie muttered under her breath. Either no one heard her, or they simply did not deign to react.

Twilight considered the idea for a moment, then flashed Starlight a warm smile. “Yes, I do think this is a good idea. It's going to be a little weird but it can't be any worse than finding out your brother is marrying your favourite foalsitter, who is also a princess, then realising that said princess is actually an imposter who is trying to take over Canterlot and steal all of the love. So I had to rescue the real Cadance from a set of secret underground caverns and...”

Becoming aware that everyone was now staring at her, the third rant petered out into the winds. Twilight hid herself behind her teacup, taking a long draft before coming up again. It burned her throat “Umm... never mind. I guess crazy really does sort of run in the family.”

“Should I be running for the hills?” Trixie asked, already halfway off of her seat. “I think my ears are about to fall off. Too much Twilight in one day is dangerous for one's health and well being.”

The aforementioned alicorn glared at her eternal rival, while Starlight had to resist the urge to mimic Twilight and slam her head into the table. One day, her mentor and her first friend would be on amicable terms. That day was still a distant hope, for now, she simply had to endure. They never tended to throw her into the middle of it, but she still found the whole affair frustrating. Trixie was the only pony who was able to consistently wriggle under Twilight's skin, something she took gleeful advantage of.

“Never did me any harm,” Spike snorted, the closing door behind him perfectly punctuating his sentence, as if the castle was affirming his feelings. He had a large silver tray of cakes, biscuits and other confectioneries clutched in his grasp.

A little more forcefully than was needed, Starlight relieved the young dragon of his tray and placed it down on the table. The audible clank of silver and the tinkle of ceramic stopped any retort Twilight could make. It always seemed that way, she would intervene when Twilight was about to retaliate. Not intentionally, of course, she was just trying to nip it in the bud before it started and Trixie was usually the instigator. Actually, she was always the instigator.

Taking the hint, Twilight quietly settled back into her chair. It surprised her mildly that she had actually risen. Perhaps a good book to de-stress her was in order as soon as possible. Calling Trixie had always been a risk, but she was the one Starlight really needed right now. Coughing to bring attention back to her, she pulled out the small card. “There's something else as well...” She trusted Spike's judgement and her own. It was up to Starlight to decide how much she trusted them in turn. Scootaloo's gaze glued itself onto the small piece of paper. Compared to the explosion of colour they were surrounded with, it was drab and businesslike. Several creases ran along the surface and the corners looked as if they had been used as bucking bags.

Starlight read it quietly, her expression remaining neutral. Of course Twilight would have something like this, preparation was her middle name. She narrowed her eyes. It looked old, very old. It hit her just then, and her knees almost failed her. This was not something Twilight had just acquired, it was something she had used. “Therapy?” she asked, looking up. No one else in the room mattered at that exact moment. Twilight was blasted with the full intensity of her sapphire stare.

There were a lot of arguments Twilight could have made, so many examples she could have dredged up from Starlight's past dealings with ponies. Her tendency to overreact, her over-reliance on magical might and her almost unnerving demeanour at times. All of those would have been viable arguments. All of it felt pointless, Starlight knew it all already. Twilight opted for something a little more personal. “It helped me.”

Looking up, Starlight confirmed what she had already ascertained. She locked eyes with her teacher for a moment, then looked back down at the card. Simple and to the point, it promised an understanding ear, no judgement and as much time as was necessary. The pitch was good but baring herself to a complete stranger went against everything she had been striving for. She turned the card over, though it turned out to be blank on the other side. That was particularly unhelpful. Still, Twilight thought it was a good idea, so did she really need much more? “Alright... I'll give it a shot. Like I said, I need all the help I can get.”

Quietly, she handed the card back to Twilight, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Soft feathers gently brushed against her shoulder, as Twilight extended a comforting wing. “It'll be fine.”

Starlight said nothing, only nodding. She was sure that Twilight would never lead her astray, though could not extend the same confidence to herself. At least, this was something that could potentially help her as well as send her spiralling again.

The quiet was suddenly interrupted by Scootaloo placing her empty bottle next to Spike's untouched platter of sweets. She grabbed one, demolishing it in one bite. “I gotta tell Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle about this. They'll be wondering where I am.”

A quick glance at the clock had Twilight's eyes widening. It was just past noon. They had been here far longer than she had expected them to be. After hugging Starlight briefly, Scootaloo was already halfway towards the door. The lilac unicorn was standing stock still, wrestling with herself silently.

“Umm...can I come?” After her request, Starlight visibly shrunk back. It was a simple question, that held far too much weight. She wanted to take it all back, run away and lock herself up for eternity. Her room was too obvious, but if she chose the right bathroom or broom closet, it could work. Rather than be quite that drastic, she instead started rambling. It was an improvement to locking herself away, though not much.

“I mean, I just thought that it might be a good idea if I...well, sort of anyway. Not really a good idea but not really a bad one either? I want to well, y'know? Never mind, it's fine...I can stay here and do...something. I just...y'know.”

What they were supposed to actually know, Starlight found herself unable to say. How in Equestria was she supposed to explain her burning desire to be involved? She had been exhausted, frightened, manic, desperate and now she was simply out of her element. It was the best she had been so far, and she was not about to sit around waiting for better.

The mad rambling gave Scootaloo ample time to adjust to the oddity of her situation. Having Starlight there would hardly be anything new, it was just strange to be asked in such a way.

“Uh sure...” she answered, not really having any reason to say no. It would also be the first time she and her mother had been able to just talk since the revelation, alone anyway.

“Are you sure? I mean I wouldn't want to...” Starlight almost bit her tongue as she was launched forwards. Without having to turn back around, she knew that at least two horns were aglow, possibly three. She was being ridiculous, she knew it. The literal kick up the flank had been needed, though it was definitely going to come back around to them later.

Seeing Scootaloo trying to hold in her amusement, Starlight straightened herself up. “Okay, let's get out of here before I show you how to turn a couple of unicorns and an alicorn into a teacup.”

Three ponies edged backwards at that, causing Scootaloo's snickers to burst out. Starlight allowed herself a small chuckle as well, before starting towards the door. Scootaloo followed close behind, wings fluttering with a mixture of excitement and nerves. There was a lot to talk about, and even more to do.

Author's Note

So, Trixie and Sunburst are now fully on board, Starlight has a lot of help lined up for her, and she and Scootaloo are going to finally have a little time alone. This was a fun one to write. Difficult, but fun. The overarching theme of Equestria not quite being as rosy as it appears on the surface is starting to come together. Celestia had a good, long reign but after 980 odd years of ruling completely alone, things will start to slip. Luna came back at just the right time. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to leave your thoughts, feedback or criticisms in the comments. I love reading your input. Thanks for reading, good luck and as always, have a nice day.

And You're Going to Need Them All!

“Okay Starlight, calm down...everything's fine. Everything is totally...fine.” Cooing the words to herself made them sound no less false. Scootaloo had all but dashed head over heels to get her scooter, leaving Starlight to find a calm, shaded spot to sit and think. Anything to get away from the prying sun for a few moments. At its afternoon zenith, the fiery orb beat down on the back of her neck, as if trying to dig into the very recesses of her brain. That, was her being irrational again. Using the small moment alone, she closed her eyes and drew in on herself. She was going to have a little chat with the irrational part of her mind. “Just be quiet! It's not as if Twilight's mum is going to judge you for ab-”

Her moment of peace was shattered by a loud, happy yell, one that echoed throughout her inner ear. A testament to the town's usual level of absurdity, mostly thanks to Pinkie Pie, no one in the immediate vicinity so much as batted an eye. Starlight, on the other hoof, was at the epicentre of the disturbance and every one of her frayed nerves seemed to fire off at once. Every signal raced to her horn, which reacted far before her body ever could.

Scootaloo had to throw up her hooves to shield herself against the blinding flash of teal that accompanied Starlight's teleportation spells. Rapid blinking was able to bring her vision back into focus, though there was still something missing. The spot in front of her was completely empty, devoid of the lilac unicorn she had been trying to spook. “Starlight!” Scootaloo shuddered, in her voice, was that...panic? It was slight but there was absolutely no mistaking it. She had only wanted to cause a laugh, not another frantic pony hunt.

The breath she had not realised she had been holding practically burst from her lungs when a returning voice called to her. “Up here!” Whipping her head left and right, Scootaloo was still unable to catch sight of a single lilac or indigo hair.

“No. Up!” Starlight called again, sounding as if she was trying to force her words through clenched teeth.

Letting her eyes traverse upwards, Scootaloo's worry changed rapidly to a bubbling laughter that boiled in the back of her throat. Holding it in proved an impossible task, and she was soon rolling across the grass cackling hysterically. Her scooter flopped against a nearby wall, the inanimate object not privy to the absurd scene.

“At least one of us is having fun,” Starlight grumbled, craning her neck so that she could look down at the mirthful filly. Her entire world felt inverted, which made a surprising amount of sense considering that she was upside down. All that was keeping her up was the low hanging, fluffy cloud that she was clutching with all four hooves. It was a divine softness that only a few non pegasi ponies were privileged with. Hugging the delicately woven water against her breast would have been delightful had she not been doing so for dear life. A heavy sigh escaped her and she shook her head. This was a minor inconvenience, nothing more. “All I need to do is let go and levitate myself down. Or teleport with an actual destination in mind for once.”

Given her current run of luck with the fickle teleportation spell, she took the former option. Just as her legs were beginning to feel the strain, she wrapped herself in the comforting embrace of her own magic and pulled herself off the cloud. The puffy sack of moisture now sported a deep, pony shaped indent on its underside. Briefly, she considered vaporising it but in the end decided to let it remain, as payment for somewhat saving her from an irritating fall.

By the time she had descended to earth, Scootaloo's rib-splitting laughter had died down to a sparse chortling. The pegasus was already back on her scooter, mounted and ready to go with her helmet fastened to her head. The glare Starlight was levelling at her had no weight, and did nothing to curb her amusement. The image of a unicorn clinging to the underside of a cloud would be locked in her memory for a long time.

It was difficult to maintain her straight face, the radiating mirth was potently infectious. “And what was all that about?” she asked, her eyebrow shooting up into her mane. Only Rainbow Dash could accomplish the same reaction from her. The two were essentially kindred spirits, woven together as tightly as magic was woven to her.

Still snickering, Scootaloo had to bite down on her lip to stem the flow long enough to talk. “You were so deep in thought I just couldn't resist. I just wish I'd brought a camera.”

Finally, Starlight allowed her phoney annoyance to drop into something more akin to amusement.“Uh huh, well if you ever point a camera at me...” she leaned in, eyes flashing mischievously. “Remember that I can turn invisible as easily as one two three.”

At the count of three, Starlight's horn flared and she vanished one again. No panic rose in Scootaloo this time. She could still feel the older mare's presence in the winds that danced around her primary wingfeathers. As small as they were, the shifting air still spoke to them as clearly as the earth spoke to an earth pony or magic to a unicorn. Rolling her eyes, she reached up and shoved against what looked like empty air. Instead, her hoof collided with something warm and solid. “Yeah yeah. I get it. I won't bring a camera.” She hid a smirk behind a smile, there was no reason she could not simply ask some other pony to bring one for her.

With a satisfied hum, Starlight rendered herself visible again and opened her eyes. Invisibility spells were useful but a fatal flaw severely hampered their versatility. Even with Twilight, she had yet to devise a viable workaround. “Good, there are some things I'd rather be able to live down, as few as they may be.”

“Heh, got it.” Maybe she would really leave the camera out of it. Scootaloo gripped the handlebars of her scooter firmly. The rubber moulded perfectly to accommodate her hooves, a feeling she would always treasure. It made her comfortable, letting her know that everything was right with the world. “Let's go find the others. They'll probably have been waiting to grill me since morning.”

“Yeah, I can believe that. You can be an impatient lot,” Starlight muttered under her breath, though she was sure Scootaloo heard her because another round of giggles echoed from under the blue and white helmet. She turned her head, looking around Ponyville for any sign of Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom. More than likely they were at the clubhouse, as Scootaloo had suggested, but if she could spot a flopping pink bow or pearly white coat before that, then all the better. The sound of something breaking would also be a pretty tell tale giveaway. She would have worried about being a bad influence on the three, if Twilight had not assured her that they had been a force of wanton destruction long before she had set hoof in Ponyville.

Scootaloo spotted them first, kicking the dirt hard and speeding herself into high gear. Even before her shout, the two Crusaders tuned in to the familiar whirring of their friend's wings and turned around. Starlight let herself hang back a little, watching the three. A haphazard tackle-hug ended with Scootaloo's scooter crashing into a ditch in the road and three young fillies laughing on the ground in a tangle of hooves, manes and tails. If she had one comfort to hold onto, Scootaloo had not been alone. Merry Heart, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, Twilight, Rainbow Dash and indeed all of Ponyville had been looking out for her. It was a small comfort, but it was one at least.

With that bittersweet thought burrowing its way into her mind, Starlight rejoined the trio just as they were beginning to untangle themselves from their web of clumsiness. On the way, she idly reached out with her magic and grabbed Scootaloo's prized possession. It was a wonder the poor thing had stayed in one piece, given Scootaloo's track record. At the very least, the struggle of jamming a helmet on her daughter's head had already been taken care of. She did have to wonder who had managed that; her first guess was Merry Heart, though it could have easily been Applejack after the Crusaders formation. As much as the two cared for each other, she simply could not see it having been Rainbow.

“Okay! Spill it! What happened?” Apple Bloom held Scootaloo firmly by the shoulders. It mattered little as the feisty pegasus squirmed away from her and dusted herself off

“Yeah, don't keep us in suspense.” Sweetie Belle chimed in.

“Nuh uh! We can talk at the clubhouse. I need to get some wind under my wings before I do any more talking.” Mounting her beloved scooter, she looked back to them all with a wicked grin. “Last one there is a rotten apple!” A hard kick sent the young pegasus flying through Ponyville. Several residents had to alter their course to avoid being flattened by her breakneck dash.

With a collective “Hey!” both Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom prepared to charge off into a race they had no chance of winning. Both found themselves being tugged by an unseen force. Starlight grinned, as the looks of bewilderment on their faces soon turned to glee.

***

Having whole heartedly expected to arrive first, Scootaloo found her jaw dropping almost to floor. Even when she came to a screeching halt in front of the clubhouse, her jaw was still hanging wide open. It promptly snapped shut when a fragment of the dust cloud she had thrown up in her wake tried to take residence down her throat. After several seconds of coughing and spluttering, the shocked pegasi was able to choke out. “You cheated! Starlight! Teleportation isn't fair!”

“But we didn't teleport.” Starlight was all to happy to correct her assumption, almost to the point of speaking with a merry sing song. “We ran. Under the influence of accelero yes, but I didn't have three scooters on hand and had to make do.”

“It was so amazing. Everything was just a blur of colour!” Sweetie Belle cheered, while Apple Bloom contented herself with shooting Scootaloo a smug grin.

Furrowing her brow, Scootaloo teetered on the balance of feeling cheated and slightly outsmarted. In the end, she simply huffed and pointed at Starlight accusingly. “Alright, I guess I deserved that one. But next time you use that spell, you gotta use it on me too. I always wondered what it'd be like to go that fast.”

“Deal,” Starlight agreed quickly, somewhat surprised that she had not considered the possibility before. It could do no harm, or at least little harm. Only if Rainbow ever asked her to combine the spell with her sonic rainboom could she foresee problems arising. She could always call Fluttershy for backup if the cyan pegasus became too insistent on the idea.

“So, you gonna give us the scoop now or do we have to beat ya again?” Apple Bloom teased, earning her a snort in return.

Pulling her helmet off, Scootaloo tossed her head to loosen her constricted mane. “It wasn't super exciting or anything. Starlight has to take parenting lessons with Twilight's mum, then they'll probably decide what happens next once those are done.” She shrugged and set her scooter against the tree that cradled their beloved clubhouse, hanging her helmet off the handlebar. “

“Twilight's mum?” Sweetie Belle's incredulity was shared by Apple Bloom, who turned to Starlight to double check that Scootaloo was not simply pulling at their legs.

“It's true,” Starlight affirmed, sitting down and quietly curling her tail around herself. “It was the best option, so that was the one I ended up going for. As weird of a coincidence as it was.”

“Huh...so when's that happening?” Apple Bloom asked, turning her attention back to Scootaloo.

The young pegasus rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. She had completely forgotten to look. Any one of their plans could be in jeopardy.

“It's every Tuesday evening, and it's already running.” Starlight chimed in. Idly, she reached up to pull at her mane. It was far quicker than she would have liked but it was becoming abundantly clear that her likes were unimportant to the universe. She supposed it was only fair, no matter how strongly Twilight would object to that line of thinking. “Twilight's probably already sending a letter.”

“Oh so that's why you ducked out,” Scootaloo joked, recovering quickly from her earlier lapse. “You just wanted out of stationary duty.”

“Ppft, you can complain when you've actually lived with Twilight... She goes crazy for just about anything to do with words, and that includes writing them. But... no that wasn't it really.” She let herself trail off, having no desire to start fumbling over her words. There had been enough of that for a lifetime.

Scootaloo chuckled, until Apple Bloom put a hoof on her shoulder. It was a softer touch than she was used to, one that she was unaccustomed too. Sweetie Belle came to her other side as the mood immediately sobered back to reality. They had not been privy to yesterday's exact events but the ramifications had sent a ripple throughout their circle of friends and family.

“You okay now?” Apple Bloom asked in a small voice that Starlight had to strain to hear. When Scootaloo turned to her, her heart skipped a beat and she had to drop her head. The weight of her shame was still too heavy, and would be for a long time to come.

“Getting there,” Scootaloo answered, letting her friends have their moment. They had witnessed her at her absolute worse that night...

**

All Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom could do was watch as their final third sat in a corner. Every quiver of her feathers seemed to break away another small piece of the Scootaloo they knew. No matter how tightly they held her, she would not stop quivering. Any attempts at talking had long since faded away. They were just waiting, for what they did not know. Until it happened, they were going to stay and wait, even if it took all night.

**

She let them have their moment, they deserved that much from her. Even Rainbow Dash participated in hugs occasionally. Still, not one to be smothered, she pulled away shortly after and turned to them. “Don't worry.”

“You're our friend, it's what we do.” Apple Bloom grinned, bumping her hoof into Scootaloo's shoulder roughly. She received the same in turn, prompting Sweetie Belle to simply roll her eyes and pull the two into a hug. Scootaloo let out a long, exasperated groan that went completely ignored. If anything, all it did was make the hug that little bit tighter.

Unsure whether to d'aww or laugh, Starlight waited for the three to part again. Her resolve to keep Scootaloo, and everyone else, safe from her cracking interior redoubled.

“And how're you?” Sweetie Belle's soft question came so out of the blue that it took Starlight a moment to realise they were actually talking to her. She took a subconscious step backwards, her tail flicking behind her. Why were they asking her that? She was breaking inside and running out of glue but she was not the one who was important.

“I'm-” A suitable answer failed to roll off her tongue. For once, it was not because she was unable to form one, rather she was interrupted. It seemed that the universe was going to throw her a bone.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders!” The shrill voice sounded from her left, in the direction of Ponyville. Her ears flattened against her head, trying to dampen the high pitched squeal.

“That's us!” Apple Bloom chirped, seeming to have no reaction to the painful pitch of the newcomer's voice. They turned their back on Starlight, letting the older mare stew with her unsaid words.

“Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. I'm actually here! Right next to you!” the young filly yelled, her sunshine yellow coat glint in the sunlight with every ecstatic bounce. If Starlight had not been given a good view of the young unicorn's hooves when they almost connected with her face, she would have been convinced that they were actually springs. Wiping away the speck of dirt that had been flung onto her cheek, Starlight retuned back into the conversation. She regretted her decision almost immediately. At least the three Crusaders seemed at ease with the ecstatic filly.

“ The name's Summer Shine! Hi! I just moved here! I begged my mum and dad to bring me here because I just knew that you would be able to help me! I mean, if anyone could help me with my cutie mark, then the Equestria famous Cutie Mark Crusaders would be the ones! Oh I'm so excited! I could just burst!”

Starlight could have hugged Apple Bloom when the strong willed farm filly finally got the new pony to take a breath. It had been like listening to Pinkie Pie reciting a tongue twister on a broken record player. “Slow down there! We can't help you if don't tell us what we need help with?”

“Well, my Cutie Mark of course!” Bright green eyes shone like the forest in the morning, twinkling brighter with every word. Starlight blinked, scrubbing the world from her vision and taking a second look. Nothing was amiss but for a moment she had felt the young filly's eyes burning right through her. Even as she was babbling incessantly at the Crusaders, her intense gaze had set off a cold flurry in Starlight's chest. Groaning, she rubbed her temple with a hoof. Irrational Starlight was being stubborn.

Not sensing that anything was amiss, the three Crusaders could not help but stand a little taller. Ever since they had received their cutie marks, their calling had driven their name across Equestria. Even a griffon had come to indulge in their expertise. Every time they were able to help someone, it made all of the searching and heartache they had endured just a little more worthwhile.

Summer Shine giggled, “Look at it. Isn't it awesome? Though, I'm not even sure what it does. I just know that once I figure it out, I'm going to have so many new friends! It'll be the most amazing thing ever! I mean, not that it isn't already. Look!”

Starlight's eyes narrowed as she scrutinised the cutie mark being practically shoved into their faces. A small, fiery orange explosion was emblazoned on the unicorn's flank. A swarm of butterflies settled themselves in her stomach. She could foresee this going only one way. At the very least, it refreshingly had nothing to do with the past coming back to bite her.

“Huh... Well, I guess we know what you're cutie mark's about...” Apple Bloom rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “How'd you get it? If you don't mind me asking.”

Summer Shine did not mind at all, if the enthusiasm with which she launched into her answer was any indication. Starlight had started to become accustomed to her grating voice but every so often her ears still twitched involuntarily at a particularly high note. “Well... I was really really mad. Like, so mad that I wanted to scream but couldn't. All of my friends had been stolen from me... I had no one.”

“That sounds awful...” Sweetie Belle said sympathetically. A murmur of agreement rose from the other two

“I was so mad...” Summer Shine repeated, screwing up her face and stomping her hoof. “I wanted to just...make everything go away.” Her exaggerated pose of anger soon became a giggle of glee. “Then my whole room was on fire. My horn destroyed everything that reminded me of them. Even my bed that we had turned into a fort during so many sleepovers. And that's how I got my cutie mark.”

An unease burrowed into the atmosphere, washing away the pride that had flooded the Crusaders. The innocent filly had a slightly manic look about her. In the next instant, it had melted from her face and the carefree excitement shone through once again. “So, what do you think? Can you help me? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with some crazy explosion cutie mark. I can't very well blow up at every little thing.”

A solemness fell over the Crusaders. Every day since getting their cutie marks they had rejoiced. It had been the fulfilment they had thought they had been missing, one which had brought them closer together. A cutie mark that actually aided in pushing friends apart, one born of anger and hatred, frightened them. It was a fear that had gripped them all at one point. That fear quickly turned into determination. This was what they were here for, to turn bad cutie marks into good cutie marks. To change a dark destiny into a bright one. That was why the Cutie Mark Crusaders would never stop crusading.

“We can help,” Apple Bloom said, squaring her shoulders and hardening her features. “It's what we're meant to do.”

For a brief moment Scootaloo thought that Summer Shine was going to turn into a pegasus. Those bounces were going to take her into the sky. That would make her today's second unicorn to journey into the clouds. “Oh I just knew you could do it! I just knew it!”

“It does sorta beg the question though... What would an explosion even be useful for? Aside from looking cool obviously.” Scootaloo asked, the cogs in her head working away even as she fielded the question to her group of friends. That included, of course, one particularly distracted pony who was wrestling with several of the details of Summer Shine's story. That had cut a little too close to the heart of everything. The universe's bone had turned out to be a bomb in disguise.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Uh...Dunno. Applejack once got Rainbow to destroy her barn with a sonic rainboom but I think she'd ground me if I tried to destroy the new one.”

“Maybe mining?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “Sometimes Rarity needs Pinkie Pie or Twilight to create a new cave for her when she goes mining for gems.”

“Sounds awesome.” Scootaloo exclaimed, rubbing her hooves together with anticipation. There were also a lot of stunts that could be enhanced with explosions. That could easily be her next suggestion.

“Uh...actually it sounds dangerous...” Starlight huffed, finally returning to the present as she rose back to her full height. If any harm befell the Crusaders under her watch, then all of her problems, past present and future would vanish in an instant once Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity got ahold of her. Assuming that she left them anything to work with.“I'm coming with you.”

There were no arguments. As they walked towards a suitable cave, spacious, sturdy and with a large, clear exit, Starlight had to resist the urge to perform a deafening spell. Summer Shine was continuing to prattle on and on. The conversation was completely irrelevant but Starlight's gut was telling her ears to shove it and pay attention. Even if the talk had boiled down to what was the best way to burn your homework. Twilight had probably started hugging a book and weeping.

Once she had found them a suitable cavern, Starlight let the crusaders get to work. All she had to do was watch them and be ready for any mishaps they would inevitably cause. It gave her plenty of time to think. Why was she out here? They had been planning to let it lie, all she had needed was closure. It had been a desire not to run away and allow yet another ghost of her past to fester into an infection. Now that Scootaloo was involved, what exactly did she want? To give back what the young pegasus had lost? Partially but there was something more than that, something warm, fuzzy and wholly annoying nestled deep in her heart. She winced as a loud boom ruptured through her ears, followed by several excited cheers. What was it that she wanted from this new connection?

The ear that Starlight had been tuning in to the conversation suddenly swivelled upwards. Superimposed under the excited chatter was a low groaning rumble. She looked back to the four fillies, none of them had heard the earth's protest. Above her, the cavern ceiling looked stable but Starlight knew better than most how easy it was to shatter into dust while hiding behind a mask.

“Girls...” she said gently, taking several steps forward to allow her words to cut into the conversation. “How about we continue this discussion outside.”

“Huh? Why?” Summer Shine's voice could have almost shattered glass. Starlight just had to hope that stone was a little more reliable.

Before Starlight could answer, the cavern let out another ear shuddering roar. The stone itself had had enough of their games and was now screaming at them. They were no longer welcome. As if to illustrate that point, a huge slab of rock peeled from the cavern wall and crashed to the ground. Small shards of broken stone skittered across the ground around their hooves.

“We gotta get out! Now!”

Apple Bloom's shriek echoed in Starlight's ears. The terror behind it was almost paralysing. All four fillies started to dash towards the entrance. It was so tantalisingly close. The gaping maw of light tempted them forwards. Their reckless dash had only one focus, their impending exit. They were going to make it. Another deafening crack added wind to their headlong sprint.

Starlight had not moved. She could defend herself far more effectively than she could run. Her stance allowed her to see the deep crack racing the terrified ponies to the exit. If it won, the whole cave would come down on them.

Unwilling to take that chance, Starlight reached out with her magic. The very essence of Equestria was at her command, she was the fiddler that could make dead wood sing. She spread her influence in all directions, letting her arcane strength draw from the wellspring of her emotions. No grumbling cave could hope to compete with that unending reservoir.

Using the fillies own momentum, one tendril of magic hurled the four well out of harm's way. The others surged upwards, weaving themselves into the very stone and holding it together. The strain piled on at once, as the heavy walls tried to resist her pull. She stumbled momentarily, then redoubled her efforts. A bead of sweat rolled down her cheek as her horn glowed like a miniature sun, struggling to keep ahead of the crumbling stone. Apparently, holding the walls together was not going to be enough. She was going to have to make them whole again.

It should have been easy but as she reached in to recall the spell that would stitch rock back together, her own head tried to rend itself in two. The episode was brief, she only slipped for a moment. It was enough. Her connection to the world around her severed itself in every direction. She was able to regain her grip on most of the cavern but holding magic was always made easier with eye contact. Her ears were assaulted by the roar of falling rock from behind her. As her legs started to push her forward, an unyielding weight drove her hindquarters to the ground. A sickening judder shot through one of her legs as it was pressed to the floor and several white hot needles jabbed mercilessly at her joint. Salty tears seared the corners of her eyes and it was all she could do to keep the rest of the cavern from collapsing in on her.

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle stopped as soon as they were outside the cave and whirled around. Summer Shine kept sprinting, quickly moving out of their sight behind a sharp bend in the quarry walls.

“Mum!” The sharp, frantic yell tore through the silence, pulling Starlight away from the mounting agony in her lower half.

“I'm fine!” she coughed, trying not to inhale the low hanging cloud of grey that had yet to settle around her. “Just stay out there!”

Small hoofsteps told her that the three had every intention of disobeying her. It was not something they did often, but she was still prepared for it. The intense glow still radiating from her horn brightened momentarily.

The fastest of the three, Scootaloo slammed into the invisible barrier first. Teal light rippled across the faintly shimmering surface as the forcefield effortlessly absorbed the three impacts. “No way!” Scootaloo growled as she slammed her shoulder into the barrier. The glassy surface did not budge. “You need help!”

“Yeah... I might,” Starlight answered simply, unsure whether she meant it or was just trying to be placating. She did need help, but her current situation should have been well within her capabilities. “But I don't think you'll be much help if the cave falls in on you as well. Just...trust me.”

It was an impossible ask, demanding trust from them when she had yet to earn her own. When the three rightfully hesitated, Starlight amended her request. “Actually...don't. Just...understand me.”

Her plea confused them, she could see it written on their faces. Even so, three heads nodded as one and the Crusaders stepped back from the cave entrance. Scootaloo held her gaze for a moment longer, a message burning within them. Starlight did not need to be a psychic to know exactly what her daughter was silently screaming at her. Though, it would have been an option.

I'm not going anywhere... Starlight rolled her eyes. The inside of her head thrummed with the phrase, which in reality meant absolutely nothing. She was wedged in place and yet it still felt like a promise she had to keep above all others.

Her eyes drifted closed, they would not be necessary. Her legs throbbed behind her, while the splinter of memory pulled itself out of the searing wound in her mindscape. Now that she had the spell in her grasp, it was a simple matter to bind stone to stone. The spidery cracks seemed to simply vanish as the huge chasms gouged into the cavern walls pulled themselves together. Her glimmering magic guided the process every step of the way, meticulously undoing the damage their experimentation had inflicted.

When the final flaw had been smoothed into non-existence, Starlight's eyelids flickered slightly. Her horn carefully withdrew the web of magic she had woven around the cave. A small contented feeling deep within her was the only sign she needed that the spell was complete. She cut off all magic to her horn, letting it rest for a moment. It would be needed again in a minute. A breath of fresh air tousled through her dust filled mane. The sensation would have been pleasant had it not dislodged several tiny particles of dirt near her face.

“You can come in now,” she said uselessly, shaking her head and smiling slightly. They were already standing next to her, having moved the very instant that her barrier had fallen. “Of course you knew that already.”

Casting aside pleasantries, Scootaloo got straight to the point. “How is it?” The cave entrance provided enough light to see by, but Starlight's legs were completely covered by rubble.

She winced as a spasm took hold of her leg. The brief movement aggravated whatever lay hidden under the rock. A sharp, lancing pain originated in her left knee and spread up into her hip. She held herself perfectly still until the scorching heat had receded beneath the dull ache that dominated her lower half. “I don't know... I can feel everything so that's good...” Her breath caught in her chest, causing it to heave slightly. Several tiny shards of stone trapped beneath scraped across her ribs. “I just need... a moment.”

“Maybe we should go get Twilight?” Sweetie Belle asked, lighting her horn to try and better assess the situation. It did not help much.

“And pull her away from picking out the absolute best of her stationary, down to such a minor detail that even your sister would declare too much over a fainting couch?” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom snickered behind their hooves, something Sweetie Belle pointedly ignored out of familial loyalty. Starlight slowly shook her head. “Nah...I can handle this.”

So saying, she turned away from the Crusaders and back to the boulder. Her captor was about as large as she was, though far heavier. Other, smaller stones dug into her fur, like annoying gnats trying to suck her dry. Her magical aura took hold of the boulder, caressing every flaw and facet in the rough hewn surface. It allowed her a perception that no hoof would ever be able to match. Not even Spike's claws could ever be as dexterous as the magic of a unicorn so connected to Equestria's arcane heart.

In a rare case, she wished that the stone would have been heavier. It was so easy for her to lift that it was in fact too easy. The quick release caused her knee to jerk back into a more natural position with a sudden click that froze her entire left side. Every nerve felt as though it had exploded then been dumped in dry ice. It was almost a relief when the boulder slumped back on top of her. The pressure was at least a bearable agony.

“That was...a stupid idea...” she panted, pressing her head into her hooves in a desperate effort to muffle her whimper and merely act embarrassed. When she felt ready to, she raised her head and tossed her mane. “I'll just need to try it slower again.”

“Ah don't think you should try again...that sounded like it hurt...” Apple Bloom reasoned, biting her lip. Nothing that was okay made that sound, nothing. She looked to the other two Crusaders and subtly shook her head. A wordless agreement passed between them. They were not about to let Starlight try and move the boulder herself again.

Starlight did not know whether they had heard her whimper or her knee popping this way and that. Either way, it did not matter. There was no reason for them to worry. She could handle this easily. If she could not lift the boulder, then she would simply transfigure or teleport it. If that did not work, then she would blast it to ash. Though, for that last one she was going to need to be alone. There was one sure-fire way to stop the crusaders worrying themselves into a frenzy. Get them involved in the situation and give them something to do.

“I'm...going to need water and the first aid kit from the clubhouse, and since I can't move...can you three go get it for me?” she asked sweetly. As long as they were out of her mane, the boulder was coming off her leg in one way or another.

“And you're not just going to try lifting it again as soon as we go to get all this stuff?” Scootaloo asked, crossing her hooves across her chest.

Starlight chuckled despite herself, someone was particularly quick today. Though, it had been a pathetically transparent plan. “I was actually going to try transfiguration... But I get your point...” She allowed herself a small sigh, giving a useless tug with her better leg.

“Simple then. I'll stay and keep you in check...mum.” Scootaloo seemed pleased with herself as she sat down heavily, like an obedient watch dog would. If Starlight wanted her gone then she was going to have to physically move her. “Can you two handle the first aid kit and the water.”

Apple Bloom threw her a mock salute. “Of course. Compared to handling Starlight that'll be easy.”

“I'm stuck not deaf!” Came the grumbling response, though all four of them were soon chuckling. Starlight looked to all three of them in turn, lingering on Scootaloo momentarily before widening her field of view back to the trio. “I can get it off y'know... somehow.” That had been feeble. She had already failed once, twice could do some permanent damage.

Three pairs of eyes looked down at her, and all the Crusaders smiled softly. “We know that... but it'll be safer if we do it together,” Sweetie Belle spoke gently. It was three against one, they were finally going to win an argument with Starlight. That was something they were going to savour for a long time to come.

“You said you needed help, so we're gonna help. We're kinda experts at getting ourselves out of messes.” Scootaloo piped up

“Even if we usually start them too,” Apple Bloom finished, idly scratching the inside of her leg.

Reading a pony's mood was one of Starlight's more honed traits, she just often had no idea what to do with it. This time, the answer was screaming at her so loud she was about to summon up a pair of earplugs. Give in. As animatedly as she could manage in her current predicament, she flopped to the floor and looked up at them. “Fine. You win. Just don't expect this to be a regular occurrence.”

“We won't,” Scootaloo grinned, sharing a hoof bump with Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. The latter two sped off to complete their assigned task. When she was absolutely sure they were gone, Scootaloo scooted over to Starlight and pressed herself into her mother's side.

Starlight tilted her head, watching the odd behaviour but doing nothing to deny it. “Uh...you know they've already seen you do that right?”

“Yeah but if I get too soft on them they'll never let me hear the end of it,” Scootaloo smirked, allowing herself a little more indulgence before pulling away a little. “Sorry...I'm just still getting used to this.”

“Is that why you keep alternating between Starlight and mum?” Starlight asked lightly

Shuffling her feet, Scootaloo started to make little ridges in the dirt. She had noticed it herself, so there had been no reason to expect Starlight not to. “Guess so. I just don't want to push too hard but...a little bit of me wants to make sure it's still real.”

“That understandable. I'm fine with either. It's your choice. As long as you don't decide to change your own name. I'll get way too confused.”

“Pfft! No way! I'm not going to change anything about me!”

“Then we have no problems,” Starlight smirked. Her tone dropped a little, despite no one being around to hear her. “Thanks for just...being you.”

Scootaloo nodded, extending her hoof. Starlight dipped her head as well and quietly bumped hooves with her smaller friend. The two settled in to wait, which quickly devolved into a restless game of I Spy. That was quickly abandoned when rock came up for the third time, leading into Scootaloo going over the wing exercises that Rainbow was making her do. Starlight listened with mild interest, though she really had no idea what was being spoken about. The investment Scootaloo put into the explanation was enough and it was something to keep her mind occupied. Part of her wished for some sticks and a nice broad leaf or two that she could twist into a makeshift kite. Then again, the wretched abomination of her creative outlet would probably have incited her to puke.

Time went by a little more quickly than either would have expected and they soon heard Sweetie Belle's shout. “We're back!”

“Finally!” Scootaloo scoffed, folding her little wings back into her body. “What took you all so long?”

Apple Bloom dumped the bucket of water she had been lugging in her mouth. The water sloshed dangerously close to the rim but fortunately none made it all the way over the top. “Nothing. You were just impatient. As always. Anyway, we got it didn't we. What now?”

Looking over all three of them, Starlight chewed on her lip. She could throw caution to the winds and teleport or transfigure the rock away. Her knee would not thank her for the sudden movement but she would at least be free. Her other plan was going to be riskier, that is, unless she had a little bit of help.

“If I lift the rock up slowly, do you think you three could shove it clear? Between the four of us we can get it gone before I possibly lose my grip again.”

“Sounds easy enough,” Scootaloo replied, her wings fluttering in agreement. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded as well, then the three got themselves into position.

Starlight turned back to her inanimate, grey captor and once more enveloped in her aura. Every crevice and flaw in the rough surface was again known to her. Slow and easy was never her style, it only drew things out and made the pain last longer. However, she had to admit that her impulsive rushing had hurt her far more in the long run. Bracing herself against the incoming spike of agony she eased the rock upwards.

Her knee twisted once again, following the slab of dark grey rock all the way up. Her magical grip threatened to waver, but she bit down and persisted. She was only vaguely aware of Scootaloo yelling out now. The boulder was wrenched towards her right as three sets of hooves bucked it with all of their might. Starlight tossed it the rest of the way, sending the imposing slab of rock crashing down several feet away from her.

Without missing a beat, she turned around to inspect the damage. A small notion crept into her head to push the crusaders away. It was quickly dismissed. She was going to have to start trusting them. Scootaloo wanted her as her mother, and the three essentially came as a sort of package deal. She quickly snuffed out that thought before it could run off the rails. There was more than enough on her plate that needed to be contended with without allowing herself to run amok.

“It could be worse,” she tried with an optimistic shrug. A long gash ran along her left knee, while the rest of her legs were peppered with scrapes and bruises. The gash wept lightly, mixing her life's essence with the cloying dust in a grisly concoction. “Needs a cleaning though.”

“Here,” Scootaloo called, pulling the first aid kit from Sweetie Belle's shoulders and placing it on the ground with a soft thud.

Starlight dipped her head gratefully then dove into the bag with her magic and yanked out everything inside, baring them to the air. Aside from the bandages, she still had very little idea of what anything was. Zecora had given it to the Crusaders, so though she was absolutely sure it was going to be effective, she still did not have a full grasp of how to use the various herbs, ointments and pastes. “Uh...right now I'm honestly glad that there's nothing for me to remember but it doesn't help the fact that I am totally lost.”

“Wash it with water first, then put a few drops of that on a cloth and rub it in.” Apple Bloom pointed to a small vial of bright yellow liquid that was floating next to Starlight's flank. She shrugged, taking the resident potion maker at her word. Her leg twitched at the sudden rush of cold water that she had liberally dumped on top of it.

Next she eased the cork out of the small glass tube. The loud pop set loose a sharp tang that assaulted her nose the moment it was released. Her insides tried to revolt against the very idea of placing that stuff anywhere near her skin. A nifty enchantment to filter the smell out of the air helped ease her stomach and settle her overall. The Crusaders sighed with relief as well, even Apple Bloom. Her spell was useless against the sharp stinging sensation that permeated throughout her entire body the very instant the foul liquid touched her wound.

Sucking in a breath, she was just able to keep herself from saying something she would regret. After a moment, she had calmed enough to vent her frustrations in a civilised manner. “Y'know... Zecora's potions are sometimes too effective. I think that one just tried to cauterize me...” With more than a little bit of trepidation, she re-corked the bottle and put it back into the floating hospital.“What next?”

She had expected there to be at least five more steps, but was pleasantly surprised when Apple Bloom corrected that assumption. “Just dry it off and put the bandage on, tight but not too tight.”

“Then what's all this stuff for?” Starlight asked, extracting one bandage while putting the remaining mass of ingredients, tonics and other medicinal implements back into the bag. She added a drying spell to the mix, then let the bandage bind itself tightly to her leg. The white stuck out like a broken horn, acting as a flag for her little mishap.

Apple Bloom bounced to answer, only to be cut off by Scootaloo who was looking at Starlight's bandaged leg with a healthy amount of concern.“Uh, before we get into that...really long list of interesting potion facts. Can you stand?”

“Good question,” Starlight murmured, planting her front hooves firmly in front of her. Her back legs had feeling, and could certainly wiggle when they wanted to. Trying her right leg first, she pulled it towards her body. Her eyes clenched shut as her body resisted her. It took a little bit of pushing, but she was able to get herself into a position where she could push up with three legs instead of four.

Walking forward, Scootaloo came to Starlight's side, just in case. “Need any help?”

Starlight shook her head stubbornly as she pushed herself to her feet. After a little bit of wobble, her less damaged back leg held. Gingerly, she tried to put weight on her left knee. For a single, elating moment, she thought it would hold. Confident, she took a step forward, only to falter as the sudden surge of heat crippled her muscles. Her hubris would have caused her to land on the busted knee, if not for three pillars holding her up.

“Thanks...” She slowly pulled herself back upright, with some assistance from her three friends. More than ever, she wanted to stand on her own hooves but held her tongue on the matter. Her childish stubbornness had almost made things a lot worse. At the very least, she could be amused at her own idiocy. “Sorry, that was just stupid of me.”

“Maybe you should just lay down for a bit?” Scootaloo suggested, ignoring the whole idea of Starlight being stupid. Even so, she knew the futility of her suggestion. Talking to a brick wall would yield more results. When Starlight was determined, nothing would stand in her way. Due to and outside of recent revelations, Scootaloo was still unsure whether to be inspired or afraid.

“I will when we get out of the cave...” Starlight knew they were going to help her and forced herself to accept it. Together, they all hobbled towards the sunlight. Slow and easy was not quite done with her yet. The short walk took them at least four if not five times as long as it would have. Still, the crusaders did not complain. None of her friends had complained, no matter how crazy everything had gotten. The lingering cynical part of her mind, that poisonous thorn she had yet to quash, suspected them all of complaining on the inside. She knew them all too well for that. Twilight had been suffering in silence, which Starlight was going to go through her for, but that was not quite the same thing.

As promised, as soon as they were out of the cave Starlight allowed herself to rest against a small boulder. Rocks were a little bit like ponies, capable of being a great building block or a great destroyer on a whim. It pleased her that even in the short walk, her leg had warmed up to the idea of bearing her weight. As long as she took it slow, she shuddered inwardly at the thought, then she would be fine. Of bigger concern was her failing mental faculties. She pushed them to the side. Tonight...tonight she would deal with that. Just...not now.

Sweetie Belle gave herself a shake. She was definitely going to have to sneak past Rarity today. Washing herself was one thing, having Rarity turn her into a walking flower garden of aromas and scrubbing her until she was almost non-existent was quite another. “Should we go look for Summer Shine?”

“We could.” Apple Bloom shrugged, idly wiping her brow with a dusty hoof. All it really did was smudge the prickling subtsance deeper into her skin. “I got no idea where she ran off to though.”

A low growl rumbled in Scootaloo's throat, heat burned in her chest and tingled in her wings. “She could have stayed to help, considering she caused the mess.” Anyone that hurt her friends should at least have the dignity to stay and help them.

A gentle, but unyielding, pressure between her wings stilled them. Her feathers twitched once, feebly trying to hold on to her rage. "Yeah, but we got out alright. If we do run into her, you'll probably find she just freaked and ran, that's all. Not every filly is as brave as you three."

“Heh...I guess that's true. Thanks, Starlight...” Scootaloo murmured, feeling herself start to simmer down. A little nugget of anger still remained. She was going to have a word or two with Summer Shine when they next met. If she wanted their help, she was going to have to pony up a bit.

Starlight looked up, squinting her eyes as she tried to gauge the position of the sun. “It's only three...maybe four. I don't really want to head back to the castle yet so does anyone have any other ideas?”

“You know us, and you're still asking that?” Scootaloo asked, rubbing her hooves together. “We should totally go-

“Swimming!”

“Build an awesome skate ramp!”

“To Sugarcube corner! ...What, I'm hungry?”

Three different shouts, three different opinions and three equally disgruntled glares. One loud pop silenced any impending arguments, as Starlight pushed herself off the pillar. “How about, swimming first because you're all absolutely filthy, then Sugar cube corner and we can build a skate ramp when our brains aren't sugar starved. Deal?”

A murmur of agreement rose up within the group, though she could still detect slight discrepancies in their overall happiness. Sweetie Belle's wish had been granted first, then Apple Bloom's and then Scootaloo's, which correlated directly to how pleased they were with the situation. Her logic was sound, if a little cold. Should she have picked Scootaloo's first because of...well everything, or was this the right choice? Her hoof started to raise towards her temple but she snapped it down and put a half smile on her face. She could worry about that in a few hours when she was back in the castle, alone in her room or with Twilight, Trixie, Sunburst and Spike. The second one...actually sounded somewhat preferable for a change.

Right now, she just wanted to let herself unwind. She could rely on Trixie to let her do that, but going back to the castle meant running into Twilight. Hopefully by tonight she could deal with the princesses lingering, and completely unnecessary, guilt. Then they could tear the library apart with Sunburst but for now she just needed time away from it all. The Crusaders were resilient and keeping them amused baked two cupcakes with one mix. Okay, she was going to have to stall her baking lessons with Pinkie Pie or the crazy pony's euphemisms would invade her long suffering brain space.

Swimming turned into a diving competition, with Starlight as the judge. All that really meant was getting very wet when the Crusaders inevitably belly flopped next to her. She found herself enjoying the few hours of fun nonetheless. Testing her magic yielded no more mishaps, though once or twice she winced when trying to remember a particularly complex enchantment. There was no discernible pattern, though between Sunburst and Twilight they would probably figure something out in an instant. Being poked and prodded was going to be irritating but she would rather have her magic back to full capacity than skip out on a little torment.

Sugarcube corner left her fit to burst. Pinkie Pie had cried to make her double in size. Apparently she looked like she needed a lot of sugar. Whatever that meant, assuring the pink party mare that she was fine was pointless. She had admittedly not eaten since yesterday's breakfast but Pinkie had taken things to the extreme...again. The Crusaders enjoyed it though, they got all of her leftovers.

That left them plenty of energy to build and run their skate ramps, though they were more reminiscent of obstacle courses in their complexity.

It was a thoroughly exhausted, though overall happy, Starlight that limped through Ponyville under the waning gaze of a reddening sun. Scootaloo was beside her, cruising along on her scooter. It was the slowest she had ever had to go, but after the day she had had, she was perfectly content with it. Tomorrow was a school day, her freedom was already over. She scowled at that, weekends were a precious thing. Still, she would have given up a hundred to have gained what she did, despite all the hiccups.

“There's the orphanage...” Scootaloo said softly, pointing her hoof towards the small building. She wondered if it was okay to be glad to see it. As much as she had wanted to find out where she had come from, the place where she had grown up would always have a soft spot in her heart. “I wonder how many times we'll make this trip.”

“Do you want an exact answer or was that a rhetorical question?” Starlight shared a giggle with Scootaloo, then shook her head. “Honestly, no idea. This will probably be a pretty long road.”

“Isn't it always?” Scootaloo asked. She turned away, staring towards the horizon. It was always so far away, never really getting closer. “But at least it won't be endless. So there's that.”

“Nothing's endless, even the things you want to be.”

“Yeah...like that awesome chocolate cake...covered in swirls and chocolate chips...” Scootaloo trailed off as her mouth started watering.

Starlight rolled her eyes and gave the young pegasus a light nudge. “With you three, that was anything but endless. Still. I get your point.” Her leg twitched as she came to a stop. “Have a good night.”

“You too,” Scootaloo answered, dismounting from her scooter and giving Starlight a quick hug. She had had her fill of touchy feely stuff today but a little more would not hurt. “See you tomorrow?”

Starlight let Scootaloo pull away in her own time, then lowered her hoof. “Yup, if you want. Thought maybe we'll skip the caving adventures.”

“Deal!” With a wave, Scootaloo departed into the glowing orphanage. Starlight waved back, dipping her head when Merry Heart caught her eye. Today had been an interesting one, but at least they had gotten through it. Now she just had to go see her other friends about some loose ends and a killer headache. Casting one last glance at the candelit windows, Starlight smiled to herself and walked towards the edge of town. Just as Scootaloo had her home, she had to get back to hers.

As she was about to grip the golden doors in her magic, Starlight caught sight of herself. The glittering metal distorted her reflection somewhat, but if anything that probably made her look better. She was a mess. Sighing, she pulled open the door and stepped inside.

The crystal floor provided more clarity, and she hated it for that. This was what Scootaloo, Twilight, Merry Heart and everyone else saw when they looked at her. She had picked up some new bruises to go along with the ones on her shoulders. As far as everyone knew, she had fallen into a wall and she was going to keep it that way. She would have done far worse had she been in Rainbow's hooves.

When I thought Cutie Marks had stolen Sunburst from me I tried to erase them from existence... So I'll take a bruise or two. Still...

She glanced back at her reflection. The bruises were a minor thing, they would heal. It was what they represented that scared her the most. Just like the sun that tried to peel away at her defensive layers, the marks of her latest toils told the tale to the world. The tale of a unicorn who had been falling apart for a very long time, no matter how much she tried to hide it.

“Maybe I really can't hide it anymore... That's...a thought.” A heavy sigh pushed out of her lungs and fogged the image in front of her. She had not realised she had gotten so close to the floor. She pulled up, keeping her movements as slow as possible. Twilight was probably going to flip about her leg. “Might as well get it over with...” The sound of arguing acted as a guide throughout the castle. At the very least, Trixie made Twilight a lot easier to find.

***

Almost dizzy with glee, Summer Shine watched as several sickly green sparks dripped from her horn. That had gone far better than she could ever have imagined. The cave-in had been a happy accident, though she did not appreciate the seed of guilt it had planted in her chest, Starlight Glimmer, the accursed pony who had robbed her of her children, had saved her from her own machination. While she could have easily saved herself, it added a sour taste to the overall sweet dish of revenge.

Thankfully, that dish had only gotten sweeter. The motive for today's outing had been reconnaissance. There was only so much she could glean as a casual bystander, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were the weak link. One of them in particular, would fit her plan quite nicely.

“After all...” Summer purred, her voice losing the cloying squeak as it dropped several octaves. A cocoon of green light enveloped her and in an instant, her height had increased almost ten fold. Licking her fangs, the Changeling Queen savoured only fleeting taste of her imminent revenge. “Starlight undid my reign with one of my own children, it is only fair that I employ the same tactic.” A sickening laugh echoed throughout the Everfree Forest, not even the TimberWolves could bear to stay and listen.

Author's Note

This was supposed to be a short chapter! Oops...I guess things just got a little out of control. Actually, they got a lot out of control at the end there. Hehehehehe. Doesn't that always happen to me? Oh well. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Starlight's problems are growing, they no longer lie just within. Next up, we find out just how much damage Glimmy has caused herself. A couple of chapters later than I planned but... things escalated. Hope to see you there! Be sure to comment if you want to and as always, have a nice day!

Finally.

Silence reigned during the long train ride home, as the sun moved towards the horizon. Starlight found herself watching the sky, dreading the moment when they would set hoof back in Ponyville. Nothing could have prepared her for this. She had known for a while that Scootaloo was an orphan, though thanks to Rainbow Dash the young filly seemed happy with her lot in life. All anyone in Ponyville knew was that Scootaloo's parents had left her at the Ponyville orphanage before she had formed any memories of them.

Whether that was a truth or not, it was only part of one. Sighing heavily, Starlight soon found her view obscured by the fog from her breath. Idly using her magic, she began to warp the condensation into a rough image of her cutie mark. Time lost all meaning as she allowed the simple drawing to absorb her. Focusing on a task prevented her thoughts from running rampant...somewhat. Completely wrapped up in her work, she was startled by a gentle touch on her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Twilight whispered apologetically, drawing her hoof away. Starlight turned around, her expression one of unrestrained exhaustion. “I just wanted to let you know that we'll be in Ponyville in 5 minutes.”

“Oh, right. Thanks,” Starlight murmured, destroying her art with a quick flourish of magic. Five minutes left and she had absolutely no idea what she was going to do. Five minutes left and she had absolutely no idea how she was going to break this news...to anyone. All she wanted to do was curl up in a corner and hide until no one remembered her. She could not begin to fathom how her friendships would be able to weather this storm. One in particular teetered perilously close to the precipice of disaster.

Rainbow Dash was as close to Scootaloo as a pony could be without being related by blood. The pair had declared themselves sisters and been tightly knit ever since. Taking into account Rainbow Dash's brash nature and tendency to act first and think later only worsened the likelihood of conflict. Despite her previous help and encouragement, Starlight knew and respected the fact that all her loyalty would be with Scootaloo in this situation.

All of this paled in comparison to how Scootaloo's potential reaction gnawed at her nerves. She had lived her whole life believing that her parents had simply abandoned her. How would she react to the truth? Would she believe it? Would it be better to just...keep this information to herself? Could she keep this information to herself? Motion ceased beneath her as the train came to a halt in front of Ponyville's station. None of her friends were waiting for them, something that for once she was glad of.

Soft feathers curled around her around, gently guiding her from the comfortable seat. Slowly, she pressed herself against Twilight and let the alicorn steer her towards the exit. Perhaps she should have been embarrassed, all of Ponyville now knew something was wrong with the newest resident, but more pressing matters saturated her current thinking.

“I'll go tell everyone we're back,” she heard Rarity say once their hooves hit the station platform. Her mouth moved in a feeble attempt to offer her agreement and Rarity left.

Wriggling herself out from under Twilight's wing, Starlight started the long trudge towards the castle. It was somewhere familiar, somewhere safe...if only for a few moments. When the huge golden doors shut behind her, everything felt normal. It was just another day in the castle, learning about friendship. Except, that was just a fantasy right now. Whatever happened in the next few minutes had the potential to rend her friendships asunder.

“I don't know what to do...” she finally admitted, though it made her feel no better.

“What you've done all the way through this,” Twilight answered, gently lifting her weary student's chin with a wing in order to make eye contact “Be honest. No one's going to think any less of you... Starlight this wasn't something you could have controlled or changed...”

“That doesn't make it any easier,” Starlight shot back, bitterness dripping from her voice. She pulled away from Twilight, viciously storming away. Whirling around, she shouted, “It still leaves me here! I mean... Rainbow and Scootaloo are as close as sisters... you tutor her and the other crusaders, Rarity and Applejack have siblings who are stuck to her like glue... Fluttershy loves them all as well and Spike gets into so many crazy adventures with them I'm surprised he's not a crusader!”

“I don't get into that many adventures,” the young dragon piped up, earning him a warning glance from Twilight.

“And now it happens again! After trying to destroy your friendships and almost having Equestria as collateral damage, here I am again! Just trying to do one thing and instead destroying everything I hold dear!”

“It won't come to that,” Twilight said calmly, remaining unflinching even when Starlight gave a disbelieving snarl. “You know it won't come to that.”

“I should...but that's all I feel...” Starlight hissed. “The worst of what can happen...always seems to happen.”

"Not everything is going to happen like that. Not everything is going to hurt you.” Twilight kept her voice quiet yet firm. She understood that Starlight was just lashing out in confusion and believed nothing of what she was saying deep down in her heart. “You just have to give life a chance...”

Still breathing heavily, Starlight tried to formulate a response. When none came, she groaned and pressed her forehead into the nearest wall. The chilly crystal soothed her scorching forehead. Whether it was her memory resurgence or just her frustration she did not care, the cold soothed the raging flame. “How can you be so optimistic? That's going to get you hurt one of these times...”

“Maybe,” Twilight shrugged, glad that things had mellowed down to a talking level. “It didn't get me hurt with you did it?” Starlight looked up at this, and Twilight continued. “Actually it was being pessimistic that got me hurt if you remember. I almost ruined everything for you when I couldn't bring myself to trust Trixie... If that really had happened, I would never be able to forgive myself.”

Remembering that day gave Starlight reason to both smile and shudder. It had started off so wrong, then right only to dip into each side multiple times. Everything had worked out in the end for all involved, minus Princess Celestia, but the day still summed up life. Her life specifically. A jumble of ups and downs, biting off more than she could chew, little instances of chance having long lasting implications and deep rooted connections. While she would often use the phrase as a joke, part of her really did wish that she had simply been locked away. At least then she would know her lot in life, preferable to this never ending confusion.

“I know what you're trying to say... I'm just scared...scared like I've never been before... I don't want to lose everything...not...not again.”

“You won't...” Spike said firmly. He strode over to Starlight and placed a claw on her shoulder. “You'll still have me...and Twilight, and Sunburst and Trixie and everyone else. No one's going to abandon you just because of this.”

“How can you be so sure?” Starlight asked, giving him a hard stare even as hope caused her voice to tremble.

“Because I know our friends,” Spike replied simply. Starlight gave him a strained half smile in response.

“Do you want a minute to calm down or do you want to just tell them and get it over with?” Twilight questioned, pulling open the door to the throne room and stepping inside.

“I'll...just get it over with,” Starlight muttered, following the lavender alicorn into the room.

Despite Spike's confidence, apprehension still held Starlight in a vice-grip. She was soon pacing a hole in the floor, or would have been back in the old library. Thankfully crystal was much more durable than wood. Twilight just looked on worriedly. Hopefully, tonight would be the end of it. She had no doubt that her friends would be able to work everything out. The worry that clawed at her heart, was whether Starlight would ever get over her crippling fear of failure. When it reared its ugly head, she turned from a confident and assured pony into a quivering shell. Even so, Twilight had to admire the strength it would take to keep forging ahead, despite whatever reservations one might have. It was something she herself had been forced to do multiple times.

“Darling,” Rarity called quietly, peeking her head through the doors. “Everyone's waiting. Do you want me to-”

“Let them in,” Starlight interrupted with a sigh, putting her front hooves on the large round table.

The creaking of the huge crystal doors assaulted her ears. Every moment that passed only increased her burning desire to flee. Running was easy, running was safe. So why was she still here? Why had she stayed for so long? Why had she not just run as soon as her revenge plan had fallen through.

'Because it was what you needed,' a small voice in her head chuckled. 'You're better now than you've ever been and you know it. You can't keep running, or trying to change things to suit you.'

Grumbling at just how accurate her inner voice was, Starlight looked up. By now everyone was seated, waiting patiently for her to speak. Twilight, Spike and Rarity were all giving her encouraging smiles. Spike's earlier words reverberated around her head. She should know that these ponies were not going to instantly turn on her, and she did. That was not her fear. Her fear was that she would sow dissent, destroy everything in her wake without even meaning to. With a track record like hers, her fear were not particularly unfounded. Her inner struggle would have left her friends waiting in silence for an uncomfortable length of time, if Starlight had not temporarily lost control of her vocal chords.

“I'm Scootaloo's mother!” she yelled out, her voice echoing across the cavernous room.

The words were out before she could stop them, no amount of clamping her hoof over her mouth would take them back. It was true that she did not have any sort of speech or flash cards ready like Twilight would, but that had just been ridiculous.

When the chorus of gasps had died down to silence, she looked out over her friends. More specifically she looked at Rainbow. The cyan pegasus had a face of utter disbelief. She looked on the verge of laughing and demanding this was all some sort of joke. When her eyes met the sombre looks on Twilight, Spike and Rarity's faces, the disbelief gave way to outrage. This lasted only a moment before she finally settled on a scowl.

“S-sorry...that probably wasn't the best way to say that...” Starlight said weakly, backing away from the table.

“It...could have been done better,” Rainbow repliedbluntly, finally finding her voice. Starlight winced at the freezing edge coating the words.

“You did your best...” Fluttershy put in, trying to comfort the distraught unicorn. “I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing to try and say.”

“Sometimes it's best to just let yourself say something. That way it's coming directly from your heart.” Applejack commented, hoping to put a positive spin on the situation. In truth she herself was still reeling from the news. This was going to change a lot of things.

In the same wintry voice, Rainbow asked. "What are you going to tell her?"

“No idea...” Starlight admitted shakily, averting her sapphire eyes from the hard ruby stare.

No one said anything for a long time. Everyone was tense, unable to predict what would happen next. The stillness stretched on, no one wanted to move, for fear of lending a spark to the silent conflict. Rainbow suddenly shifted in her seat; Starlight winced and pulled away instinctively, seeming to shrink under the weight of her own anxiety.

Rainbow was upon her in an instant, before she could even blink. Soon Starlight found herself ensnared by Rainbow's powerful hoof. One hoof was all it took for the athletic mare to hold the less physically fit unicorn in place. Her other hoof was quickly occupied by vigorously rubbing Starlight's mane, making a total mess of it.

“Hey!” Starlight yelled, before bursting into relieved laughter. Of all the reactions, this was not one she had expected. Yet it was so...Rainbow Dash.

“That's your punishment for thinking anything bad was going to happen,” Rainbow snorted, her voice thick with emotion. Starlight blushed, feeling suitably admonished for thinking so negatively about her amazing group of friends. Satisfied, Rainbow released her. Once free, Starlight stood up and started to brush herself off. Her muscles froze in place when she caught a glimpse of moisture glistening on Rainbow's cheeks. Her mouth opened and she started to question it, but Rainbow's hoof cut off any speech. The look in Rainbow's eyes stopped the words in her throat, letting them fall back down into silence. Applejack's strong voice rang out, tearing Starlight away from Rainbow for the moment. Taking her chance, Rainbow quickly dried her eyes with a swipe of her hoof.

“So where exactly do we go from here?” the farm pony asked, directing her question to the entire room.

“No idea...” Pinkie Pie pouted, her face becoming a picture of intense concentration. Fluttershy and Rarity were similarly stumped.

“I guess the first thing to ask is...should I say this? To Scootaloo I mean... Or would she be better just not knowing?” Starlight asked softly, letting the question hang in the air. Rainbow's answer was immediate and passionate.

“No way! You gotta tell her! She's never known why her parents left her... I know Scootaloo. She needs to know!”

“Okay...” Starlight whispered, taking several deep breaths before speaking again, “Next question. How exactly do we go about this? Should we just...break the news?”

“No other way for it that I can see...” Applejack answered sagely, her hat sliding forwards with the motion.

“Though, perhaps not quite as forcefully this time...” Rarity suggested delicately, causing Starlight's cheeks to burn again.

“Yeah...that...was...” she chuckled nervously, a sheepish smile stretching across her face.

“Maybe only Rainbow and Starlight should be there?” Fluttershy put forward meekly. When everyone turned to her, she shrank back. Her mane fell over her eye. “Umm...so that it isn't quite as overwhelming for everyone involved.”

“That could help...” Twilight mused, even though she was reluctant to have Starlight out of her sight right now. Not with how fragile the unicorn was right now, both emotionally and physically. Regardless of her own misgivings, it was not her decision to make. The plan was solid in and of itself. Turning to the two aforementioned friends, she asked “What do you think?”

“I...I dunno,” Starlight mumbled, predictably gripped by nerves at the prospect. Rarity pulled a face, thinking it over for a moment. Looking at Starlight, then around the room, then back at Starlight she amended the plan. “Perhaps Spike should go along as well. Just for some additional support.”

She would have suggested Twilight, to allay the alicorn's worries. However, she reasoned that both Twilight and Starlight, under this much stress, would be far too much for the Scootaloo right now. Spike's inclusion would help keep things grounded, while also easing Twilight's fears. Seeing Twilight visibly relax made her smile contentedly. That had been the right choice.

Rainbow agreed as well, taking to the air. “Let's get going then! We don't have all night.”

Still anxious, Starlight followed Rainbow out the door. Well wishes from her friends spurned her on. When she felt they were out of earshot, Starlight gently tugged Rainbow's tail with her magic. The pegasus turned and fixed Starlight with a quizzical stare. This time holding her ground under Rainbow's withering gaze, she asked,

“You aren't okay with this are you?”

Now thoroughly confused, Rainbow huffed. Folding her arms across her chest, she raised an eyebrow. “What? What are you talking about? Why would I not be okay with this?”

“You were crying...and you didn't seem to want to believe it when I said it,” Starlight explained bluntly. There was nothing that would make her let this go. If her friends were going to help her, then she was going to make sure they were absolutely comfortable with doing so. She owed them that much.

“It came out of nowhere,” Rainbow defended, throwing her hooves into the air. Lowering them again, she then let a smile touch her lips. “And no...it's not that I'm not okay with it... I'm... actually happy.”

“Happy?”

“Yeah...Scootaloo finally gets to know who her mum is, you get to know who you're daughter is... It's a win win isn't it?”

“Yeah, I guess...I was just-”

“Worried that I wouldn't like you being Scootaloo's mum because of how close we are?” Rainbow finished, giving the unicorn a deadpan look.

“Sort of...I...I was worried that I would break everything without meaning to...again.”

“Eh, we don't break easy,” Rainbow said, her trademark confident smirk accompanying the statement, “Right Spike?”

“Right,” the dragon nodded, nudging Starlight with his elbow. “Told you.” She gave him a smile in return.

“Anyway, no need to worry about that. Just, don't hurt her okay?” Rainbow pleaded, suddenly dropping her confident mask for the second time that day. “Just...don't.”

“I won't..” Starlight promised, leaning upwards and nuzzling Rainbow's cheek gently. “I promise.”

“Good. Now, let's go break the news. It'll be fine.”

With that, Rainbow flew out of the castle and into Ponyville. The village was winding down for the day, as Celestia's sun dipped closer to the horizon. Hopefully, they would be able to find Scootaloo before dark. After a few minutes of fruitless searching around town, Spike made the suggestion to check the clubhouse. As they approached the Crusader Clubhouse, Rainbow's status as a certified Scootaloo magnet paid off. Coming out of the clubhouse, Scootaloo was instantly at her idol's side.

“Hey Rainbow!” Scootaloo yelled excitedly, skidding to a halt in front of the cyan pegasus. As usual, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were right behind her. Panting, the pair came up level with their friend and shot her a glare.

“Scootaloo! We're in a hurry!” Sweetie Belle huffed, pointing to the large cauldron she and Apple Bloom were carrying between them. “We need to get this back to Zecora before dark.”

“I know I know!” Scootaloo huffed, pouting at her two friends. “I just wanted to say hi to Rainbow Dash.”

“Actually squirt, we were looking for ya,” Rainbow said gently, putting her hoof on Scootaloo's shoulder to stop the young filly from rocketing away.

Scootaloo froze in place. Enthusiasm glistening in her wide-eyed grin, she turned back to face Rainbow. “Huh? What's up?” she asked innocently, tilting her head at the trio. Starlight was trying to hide behind Rainbow at this point, her nerve starting to fail her.

“We should probably go inside,” Rainbow said, jabbing her hoof at the clubhouse. “It's important.”

“Don't worry about the cauldron,” Spike interjected when Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged worried looks. “I'll get it to Zecora.”

“Huh, sure,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug, eager to relieve herself of the heavy load. Seeing the youngsters struggling, Starlight effortlessly lifted the huge pot with a levitation spell.

“Wow, thanks,” Sweetie Belle grinned, watching as Starlight placed the cauldron carefully on the grass.

“Come on inside,” Scootaloo called, already waving them in. Excitement radiated from her, practically spilling from her fluttering wings. Starlight averted her eyes uneasily; a gentle brush from Rainbow's wings strengthened her resolve.

When everyone was suitably comfortable, Rainbow gave Starlight another encouraging nudge. Inhaling deeply, the unicorn then stood up and exhaled to steady herself. Gulping down the lump which seemed to be permanently affixed to her throat, Starlight began.

“Okay...well...where to start... For the past few days I've been looking for someone. I only wanted to find them and make sure they're okay but well... it turns out I already know them.”

“How can you be looking for someone you already know without knowing you know them?” Apple Bloom asked inquisitively. Starlight chuckled sheepishly,

“A lot of magic...and a lot of time,” she answered wearily. The crusaders looked at each other and shrugged, deciding to just accept the statement at face value.

“Anyway,” she continued, injecting some life into her voice. “I uuh, eventually managed to find who I was looking for just today. The answer, shocked me a little but now that everything is over I...I know it's true.”

Scootaloo blinked and raised an eyebrow. “So...uh, why are you telling us this?”

“That's...even more complicated...” Starlight sighed. This was it, the final push. “The pony I was looking for, was the foal I had to give up eleven years ago.”

“Wait, you had a baby?” Sweetie Belle blurted out, while Apple Bloom gasped in surprise. Scootaloo went quiet, a sinking feeling settling into her stomach. She knew all to well what it was like to have someone taken from you without really knowing them.

“Yeah...but she was taken from me. I used magic to erase the memories, so I wouldn't do anything I would regret. It never came up again until two days ago when the spells were broken. My friends and I then started to look for the foal...just to check on her and make sure everything was okay. Today...I finally found her,” she paused, her tightening throat making speaking a chore.

The sinking feeling in Scootaloo's stomach only intensified. Now her heart was racing. There was no way this could ever make sense. So why did it? Several pairs of eyes now turned to her, and once again Apple Bloom could not hide her shock.

“Yeah...it's...it's you Scootaloo...” Starlight stated, not wanting to prolong the young mare's discomfort.

Hearing these words, Scootaloo felt a surge of anger boil up into her throat. Eleven years of being in an orphanage with no idea where she came from and now this? This was not what was supposed to happen. Enraged, she did the only thing she could think to do. Like mother like daughter, she ran. The door slammed behind her, shaking the wooden walls. Torn, Starlight made to go after her only to be yanked back by her own self-doubt. Frantic, she turned to Rainbow. The anguish on her face spoke volumes.

“I got it!” Rainbow called out, dashing out the door and after her adopted sister.

Scootaloo was still running, tears streaming down her cheeks. She wanted to go home and never have to look at Starlight again. There was no way Starlight could be her mother, she was Twilight's new pupil. They had driven her round the bend trying to find a book while Twilight was out, had asked her to help them with whatever crazy schemes Twilight would have frowned upon. Despite initially being somewhat standoffish, Starlight had become something of a friend. A slightly scary, yet still completely dependable friend-in her own unique way. Now apparently that friend was supposed to be Scootaloo's long lost mother? No way! She would not allow it!

A rush of air ruffled Scootaloo's hair, spurring her to run faster. It was useless though, as a pair of strong hooves carefully grabbed her from behind and stopped her in place. She struggled against the warm hold, refusing to give in to her desperate need for comfort. Even as her heart ached her body continued to resist. She did not want to hear, or see anyone or anything right now.

“Scoots! Calm down! Please!” she heard Rainbow say, the warm grip tightening gently around her body.

“No! Leave me alone! It's not fair!” Scootaloo screamed, redoubling her efforts to break free. “Just let me go!”

“Not until you calm down,” Rainbow answered, her tone leaving no room for argument. Scootaloo struggled for a few moment's more, before sagging into the older mare's chest. With no more fight left to give, she snuggled into Rainbow's fur. Sobbing openly now, she wailed,

“Why...I...I don't understand. My parents left me...How can this...How...I've went my whole life not knowing...It was just getting to be okay...I had you...and now...” she trailed off and buried her face deeper into Rainbow's warmth.

“I know...” the older pegasus said gently. “I don't know why you were left at the orphanage...” Scootaloo raised her head at this, the blurry image of Rainbow's face forming in her tear soaked eyes. “But...Scoots, Starlight...Starlight didn't have anything to do with that...”

“She...she didn't?” Scootaloo stammered, “But...But, how?”

“Your, father took you away from her.” Rainbow answered, deciding that the young filly deserved the truth. Starlight could go through her later if she really wanted to. “He took you away from her right after you were born. Starlight told us all just a few days ago. It happened when she was in Canterlot looking for one of her friends...”

“That's horrible!”

“Yeah... he's just lucky I wasn't there at the time,” Rainbow snorted, clenching her jaw. The same boiling feeling returned from when Starlight had first told the story. Now that Scootaloo was involved, things just got a lot more personal. If she ever found out who that stallion was she would make him regret ever meeting Starlight.

This brought out a small smile from Scootaloo, though it was short lived, then her brow furrowed. “So... what... what do I do now?”

“That's up to you,” Rainbow replied softly. “I know this came out of nowhere...but you're still awesome. I know you'll do good.”

“Will...Will you still be my big sister?” Scootaloo mumbled, sounding small and helpless.

Rainbow grinned, pulling Scootaloo closer. “Of course! Nothing's ever gonna change that!”

“Good...” Scootaloo nodded, wrapping her hooves around the cyan pegasus and hugging her tightly.

They stayed there for several minutes, wrapped in each other's embrace. Rainbow would shy away from such a blatant display of public affection, but she would let it slide this once. Movement caused her to open her hooves, allowing Scootaloo to stand up. The filly looked nervous, but had a determined glint in her eye.

“Let's go back. I...I need to talk with...my mum.”

Starlight by this point was being comforted by the two remaining crusaders, while Spike was taking the cauldron back to Zecora as promised. Both of them had questions, and she satisfied their curiosity as best as her tired mind would allow. Her thoughts were elsewhere. Hopefully Rainbow had been able to find the young mare. It should have been her that had run after Scootaloo, but once again her own fear had held her in place. Her only defence was to forcefully change the world around her, a response she now knew to be wrong...very wrong. How did Twilight make this all look so easy?

After five whole minutes of standing outside, Scootaloo finally mustered the courage to open the door. Rainbow had just stood silently by, offering silent support. This was Scootaloo's step to take, and she would take it in her own time. When the light from the clubhouse spilled out onto the darkening doorstep, Scootaloo gulped. Hearing the faint sound as if it were a clap of thunder, Starlight whirled around. Their eyes met. Neither of them spoke, well aware that everyone else was holding their breath.

Finally breaking the silence, Starlight murmured, “H-hi Scootaloo...”

“H-Hi,” Scootaloo replied shakily. She wanted to say Starlight, but the name caught in her throat. A small voice in her heart wanted to say mum, but she could not bring her outer voice to say it. Not yet.

“H-How are you feeling?” Starlight asked awkwardly, wishing the question sounded less ridiculous in the face of all that had just occurred.

Scootaloo swung her left leg in front of her right, rubbing her hoof nervously. “Good...” she mumbled, maintaining the distance between them. Starlight did the same. Then Scootaloo asked the most important question she felt she would ever ask.

“D-Did you mean to give me up?” she asked, her eyes welling up with tears.

The question struck Starlight, her heart skipped a beat. Without needing to think, she shook her head. “No...I didn't. I...I just, felt so powerless...When you were taken I...just had to hold onto the hope that you were happy... There was nothing I could do. I'm sorry... I wanted to, I was just...too weak.”

That was all Scootaloo needed to hear. In a single bound she was on top of Starlight, hooves wrapped around her neck. Startled, Starlight took a moment to process what was happening. When she recovered, the unicorn immediately returned the hug. Both were crying now, but now it was tears not of sadness, but of joy. Rainbow gave a small nod, glowing with pride for her young friend. After eleven years of feeling out of place...she had finally found where she came from. After an unjust world had torn them apart, Starlight and Scootaloo had finally found each other.

Author's Note

And finally they're together. This wasn't where I wanted to end this chapter but it was getting long. Next time we get into the fun stuff. As in the actual fun stuff. Writing that level of emotional drama for seven chapters was actually hard. If I royally messed it up please let me know.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading. Have a nice day.