Nightmare Moon is a Fucking Bitch

Chapters

The Mad Bomber
Code Black
Keep Your Friends Close
Stars Extinguished

The Mad Bomber

Moonlight trickles through the window as you tread the line between the realm of consciousness and unconsciousness. The bed you lay in is soft and warm, and so is the mare snuggled against your chest.

You are Anonymous, enigmatic, extra-dimensional playboy of Equestria, and also the second most powerful individual in the country... Figuratively speaking. You have no MAGICAL power, unfortunately, but you could get pretty much anything you want, whenever you want it. It was one of the perks of helping a scorned, embittered former princess pony overthrow her sister and take control of the kingdom she used to co-rule before she was imprisoned for a thousand years.

Oh, and she's your also your girlfriend, so that helps, too.

Now that you think about, it sounds kinda weird to refer to this much older mare as your girlfriend. It's not incorrect, but still, she's old as fuck. She certainly doesn't look it, though, which is fortunate, especially considering how you just finished having sex with her.

It was pretty weird, the events leading up to it. You had always liked Nightmare Moon, as she was pretty good to you. Even though she never returned your amorous feelings at first, she had found that she had grown attracted to her one confidante who loyally stuck by her from the beginning. Of course, being the funny mare that she is, she decided to confess her newfound feelings for you by going into your dream when you went to bed yesterday, telling you everything, and even feeding the flames of love with a little romantic encounter.

Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon didn't get the memo that the humans of your homeworld, Earth, the Third Dimension, don't really retain dreams all that often. Maybe it works differently for the creatures in this world or something, and they frequently remember their crazy-ass dreams.

Anyways, with no remembrance of Moony pouring her heart out to you and giving you her metaphysical body to love, she was rather pissed at your ignorance the following evening when the two of you awoke. You, being blissfully unaware of why your dear friend was in such a foul mood, suggested that the two of you spend some quality time on the tennis court as the work week came to its end. You would end up regretting this very much.

Nightmare Moon ended up using the game as a thinly-veiled anger outlet, pummeling you repeatedly with high-impact tennis ball strikes. Actually, the veil was so thin, it wasn't even there. She just wanted to beat the shit out of you. Even you had your limits, however, and once enough became enough, you beat the shit out of her.

Your body begins to ache once more now that the pain-relieving endorphins of sex are wearing off. Damn, you're gonna be sore for at least a week...

The two of you reconciled on the court once you had managed to recall the dream Nightmare Moon had shared with you. With mutual apologies, the two of you decided to start your new relationship off on a better note.

Luna had revealed her "true" form, so to say, the familiar tall, black alicorn now replaced by a smaller, bluer one. She insisted that she pull off the mask that she wore before giving herself to you for the first time. Truth be told, you would have been fine with it even if she hadn't, but if it made her feel better, then sure, why the hell not?

The two of you then proceeded to do it like those mammals do on the Discovery Channel, and with no small amount of relief from you as your blissful orgasm overrode the pain of the beating you received. You came inside Nightmare Moon.

Felt pretty good, man.

The mare in question stirs slightly in your arms. You had both collapsed afterwards, ready for a nap, though it seems neither of you has crossed over into sleep, yet. An unanswered question ravishes your mind, begging to be spoken and quench the gargantuan thirst that is your curiosity.

"Hey... Moony?"

Again, you feel a stir and hear her groan, confirming she was still awake. "Mmm, yes, Anonymous?" She mumbles, drearily.

You blink as you contemplate the unasked question, the potential answer makes you nervous. "What are we gonna do next time?"

No response. Luna then raises her head. "'Next time?' What do you mean?"

"Y'know... how are we gonna mix it up for next time? It's going to be boring if we just stick to the same old thing each time, right? You got anything in mind?"

Again, no response as she gives you a blank stare, but then looks off in another direction as she genuinely begins to ponder this. "We do not-... How does... Ah... Hmm..." She lowers her head back down onto your chest as she continues to think. Another moment of silence passes until she pitches a suggestion. "What if we were to try some bondage, with dominance and submission?"

That sounds alright, but... "Enh, I dunno," You shrug dismissively. "It feels like we've kinda already done the dominance and submission part. What else have you got?"

It sounds like she's going through her mental catalog of sexual activities as she seems to be mumbling possible suggestions. Finally, she perks up. "How about a genderswap? You will be the mare, and We will be the stallion."

Fascinating, you admit, but a doubt hangs in your mind. "Sounds kind of advanced. Do you have a genderswap spell like that off the top of your head?"

She gives a not-very-reassuring "Mmhmm."

"Alright... Now do you have a spell that makes me into a pony mare? I don't know if you noticed, but stallions are packing way too heavy for a human body to safely take."

She rolls her head around into you a little more, trying to find the comfortable spot she had lost. "...We could make one... probably. Give Us roughly a month or so."

"Ugh..." You groan. Maybe it was just the pain in your body making you grumpy, but trying to decide what you were going to have for sex next time is proving to be a stubborn task. This isn't like picking what you'll have for supper each night. You could eat those oven-bake pizzas for a week straight if you fucking felt like it. Who's gonna stop you? You like pizza, and the only one you have to please is yourself.

Sex, though... That was cooking for two.

You attempt to pull your weight and offer an idea of your own. "Ah... What about... I dunno, threesome?"

This one actually gets Luna to lift her head up again, and look right at you. "A threesome? With whom did you have in mind, by chance?"

Oh wow, you hadn't thought that far ahead. "Uhhh, anyone we want? You rule this entire god damned country, and I'm directly beneath you. We can get anyone we want, can't we?"

She rolls her eyes in annoyance. "And WHOM would agree to a threesome with Us? This is not... 'Magical Pornography Land', Anonymous. Ponies will not simply bend over and beg the two of us to rut them simply because We ask them to."

What? That can't be right... Surely there's someone out there who would jump at the chance to get down with Royalty and Boyfriend.

"Well... shit. Don't you know anyone who'd want to do it with us?"

She scoffs and rolls her eyes at your inquiry. "We have no friends, Our dim-witted love, and all of the ponies whom We know would partake in such activity with Us are currently buried far below Equestria, their bones degraded into dust."

Oh, yeah, that whole 'gone for a thousand years' thing. Damn, that certainly throws a wrench into things. "Alright, well, what if we-"

"MY QUEEN! THERE IS AN EMERG-"

The doors fly open as a Lunar Guard scrambles in, a look of distress on his face, whether that look of distress is because he was tasked with barging into Nightmare Moon's room unannounced or because of whatever news he was bringing was up for debate.

Nightmare doesn't seem to be up for such debate, judging by the quick shriek she gives. "GAAH!! BEGONE, YOU INSOLENT RAT! WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT ENTERING OUR CHAMBERS UNWARRANTED?!!" She scrambles to grab the the entire blanket and further cover her naked form for whatever reason...

...leaving you completely uncovered with your junk exposed for the guard to gawk at. Lovely.

His gaze lasts only for a split second, however, as he quickly regains his composure. "Please! My Queen! It is an emergency!" This doesn't seem to alleviate the white-hot glare she is currently shooting him.

"Unless this palace is about to spontaneously combust, We do not want to hear it, and We strongly suggest you LEAVE, BEFORE WE GELD THEE!!"

The threat of castration certainly hits the right notes within the scared-shitless guard, but the brave stallion remains where he is. "B-but, that's exactly it, Your Highness! There's a mare in the throne room, she wants to speak with you personally, and she's threatening to blow up the palace!"

Whoa. WHOA. Okay, now that has got your attention. Bomb threats and assassination attempts were no stranger to you and Nightmare since the two of you took over, but those were usually empty promises at best, and half-assed attempts at worst. The fact that whoever is making this threat is actually in the throne room and threatening to blow you all to hell is a little disconcerting. Even in light of this, Nightmare Moon still seems to be more distressed about being walked in on, completely naked and out of form.

"F-Fine! We shall be down in but a moment, just get OUT! W-We are not dressed yet! Tell Captain Vigilant Sky to contain this mare, do not let her leave!"

Likely glad that he still has his testicles, the intruding guard gives a salute and an affirmation before retreating to relay the Queen's orders. Before you can mentally digest this sudden change in what was supposed to be a nice weekend, Nightmare Moon angrily grumbles and rises from the bed. Hastily, she puts on her shoes and regalia before storming out of her bedroom.

You blink. The cool air on your balls snaps you back to reality as you decide that you should probably follow. In a flash, you leap out of the bed and tactically throw on the clothes you had discarded prior to banging Nightmare. You would have thought it'd be a pain in the ass to put on a charcoal two-piece suit on in a speedy manner, but you somehow did it. With no time to lose, you bolt out the door after Luna.

At the very least, you want to be at the flashpoint of this explosion if it goes off.

*~*~*~*

Sprinting down the ornately decorated--and hopefully not about to be reduced to rubble--hallways, you managed to link up with Luna just before the two of you make it to the door that leads to the throne room. Two armed Lunar guards stand sentry at the doorway, holding sharp spears. A Lunar Guard officer stands between them, stoic and professional, waiting to brief Nightmare Moon on the situation. You can only assume this is Vigilant Sky.

"My Queen..." He bows, to which Luna impatiently gestures for him to rise.

"Your corporal caught Us at a very inopportune time, Captain. This had better be important."

The grizzled-looking stallion arises, not at all intimidated by the queen's irate tone. "We believe this is the real deal, Your Highness. At around 0500 yesterday morning, we received a written bomb threat from an unknown party saying that explosives would be detonated at a significant landmark if we did not meet their demands. No specific place was mentioned, and the probability of it being genuine seemed shoddy, at best. Then, about 15 minutes ago, this mare strolled right in..."

Nightmare Moon looks to the doorway, raising an eyebrow. "This mare, is she alone? Has she stated her name?"

The Lunar captain turns around, placing his hoof on the door, ready to lead the three of you in. "She didn't give her name, she just walked in wearing a heavy coat, and said she wanted to speak to Queen Nightmare Moon directly, otherwise she would blow the palace up with everyone inside."

Luna's beautiful blue visage hardens slightly at this, as if she was not quite buying this story. Seemed like a fairly standard Jihad to you. Sounds like a pony is pissed off at Nightmare Moon, and either gets her demands met, or gets blown sky-high as a martyr. Whichever way it was going to go, remains to be seen, but you've got a pretty good feeling that whatever her demands are, they're not going to be met. Luckily, you've got Equestria's oldest mare to keep your ass safe.

To be honest, you're not really sure what you're doing here. You're just kinda standing off to the wayside while Nightmare Moon and her guards handle the situation... as it should be, of course. You've got no EOD training or experience in negotiating with bombers. You're just here to lend moral support to Luna and for the thrill of possibly getting blown up, you guess.

"Are We correct to assume your stallions have her properly contained?" Nightmare asks her Lunar officer.

He nods. "Yes, Your Highness, I've got a dozen guards in there, with six halberds and six crossbows pointed right at her. She's made no attempts to escape, but is threatening to detonate her explosives if we move in to arrest her."

You detect a small sigh escape Luna's lips, since she absolutely must deal with this now if she can't simply throw her guards on the perpetrator. "Very well, let us get this over and done with..."

With that, the Lunar Captain pushes open the doors, and the three of you make your way into the grand throne room of Nightmare Moon.

*~*~*~*

Code Black

Upon entering, you look towards the skylights. The moon's soft glow shines through several of the windows facing towards it, sending several pillars of light at different angles directly into the center of the room. Front and center of the throne. That's where the mare stands with her back to you. She stands still as a statue, though judging by her posture, she looks to be completely calm. As the captain mentioned, she is surrounded by a formation of Lunar Honour Guards. Half a dozen wield highly decorated, but still very sharp-looking halberds, and the the other half-dozen are unicorns, magically aiming military crossbows, weapons newly imported from the Minotaur lands as part of Luna's recent increase in military funding.

You really had to give it to this mare for staying so collected with all of these weapons being pointed at her, though you can't actually tell who she is, since she's wearing a pretty big, hooded coat. It's likely concealing whatever bomb she's got under there. All you can make out is her purple limbs.

Nightmare Moon silently raises a hoof, wordlessly ordering Captain Sky to wait by the door. With nothing else, you and her quietly begin to circle around the mare and arcs of fire, ready to look this problem in the eye. With each footfall, the two of you round closer and closer to your respective seats where Luna rules the kingdom. The entire time, your eyes locked on this mystery mare, trying to figure out who this is. Finally, you and Luna stand at the front of the room.

Squinting, you think you can see who's behind that hood, even before a purple hoof moves upwards to pull it back. "...Twilight?"

The unicorn's unmistakable face appears, adorned with a frustrated frown. "Wait, who are YOU?!" She seethes, like she's tired of being jerked around. Which she probably has been in a situation like this.

The question is innocent enough, even though you're positive that you met before back when you first helped Nightmare Moon retrieve the Elements of Harmony. You open your mouth to introduce yourself, but you are cut off by Twilight, who isn't even looking at you, but to the mare beside you. "I said I wanted to speak to Nightmare Moon! Who are you supposed to be?!"

Oh, right. It seems you've forgotten that you changed history by playing your little part when you got here. The dark blue alicorn next to you is an unknown to everyone but you.

For her part, Nightmare Moon angrily groans. "Oh, for the love of-..."

She ignites her horn, and as a bright glow begins to form at the tip, she throws her head back. From thin air, clouds of pure darkness begin to form and circle around Luna. More and more materialize until she is completely enveloped, a sphere of dark magic cocooning her. It isn't long before the dark energy begins to glow into a bright purple, forcing everyone in the room to look away. You're not exactly a fan of the cornea-incinerating experience of watching Luna's mask-up/mask-down process, and quickly throw a hand up to shield your eyes. You learned your lesson the first time.

After a moment, the bright violet ball of magic dissipates in a spectacular light show. Standing before everyone in the room is the infamous form of Nightmare Moon that the population of Equestria has come to know and love.

And by 'know and love', you mean 'fear and loathe'.

Her transformation now complete, the great black alicorn of the stars and the moon opens her eyes, batting those nice purple eyelashes just a bit. Her dangerous, glowing cyan eyes and slitted pupils offer an aura of intimidation which you think will be useful when dealing with a potential mad bomber.

You kind of expected her to break out into a wicked, evil grin like she normally does, maybe bust out that stupid, cartoony evil laugh that you tell her she needs to stop doing... but she's not having it.

Instead, her mouth forms a rather nasty snarl, fangs and all. "Thou has wasted enough of Our time, irksome harlot of Our sister! Thou shall truthfully explain thy purpose for disturbing Us from Our personal time at once!"

You see the slightest crack in Twilight's cold, confident face as the Queen of Darkness herself demands her for answers. Though maybe she was just slightly taken aback for being called Celestia's whore. Nevertheless, she brushes the comment off, and takes a step forward.

"Nightmare Moon... I have a bomb." Twilight's horn lights up, and the coat she wears comes off and is discarded to the ceramic tile floor. Wrapped around her barrel appears to be a body belt of sorts. Attached all along it are cylindrical tubes, which you can only assume are what contain the explosive agents. Another part of the belt then wraps around her front, to which an alarm clock sits attached upon her chest.

An alarm clock.

What.

"My demands are simple, Nightmare!" The very brave or retarded unicorn shouts. "Either you bring back Celestia, give up your crown, and face punishment for what you've done, or I'll make you face punishment myself!" Her hoof idly moves to her chest to highlight what she meant by that last point.

All falls silent in the Queen's throne room, and you're sure that you saw a couple of those halberds waver a bit when Twilight made that big reveal

But something's not right. You're trying to put your finger on it, but...

The train of thought you were riding is derailed by Moony's hearty laugh. Ahah, there it is. You'd tell her to stop doing that, but now's not a very good time. She levels her incredibly evil grin at Twilight. "Do you really think you can hurt US? With a crude, home-made explosive device? Perhaps your defeat in the Everfree has caused you to lose your mind, young one. We have countless shield spells to protect against whatever pathetic blast you conjure."

Twilight doesn't seem perturbed. "Oh yeah?" She quips. "Does he?" She nods towards you. Oh.

Shit. You just totally played into her hoof by being in this room, didn't you?

"And ah, word to the wise, Mr. Green Man... if you try to make a break for it... Boom." She pantomimes the image of an explosion. Cute.

Nightmare doesn't seem to think so, though. That confident smile of hers has been cleanly wiped. "You... You DARE try to use Anonymous against Us?"

Now it's Twilight's turn to wear the shit-eating grin. "I dare. And I'm not 'trying', I have. How quickly do you think you can throw up a shield spell at any moment? Can you do it in a split second? I know you couldn't care less about the soldiers in this room, but how much is he worth to you?"

You have to admit, she nailed that line pretty good. Though you might be a little personally biased, you'd like to think you're worth a lot to Luna, now more than ever. Worth enough to bother saving from being vaporized, at the very least, but you're easygoing. There's still some time to work your way up from there.

You were gonna make an appeal to your girlfriend about how you're worth keeping around, but from where you're standing, it looks like she's having some tunnel vision. "You... DARE..."

Her horn lights up, and one of the unicorns off to the side has his crossbow ripped away from his telekinetic grip with a resounding "Hey!"

The locked, loaded, and ready-to-fire weapon levitates squarely in front of Luna, and aims directly at Twilight's face.

"HAHAHA! Oh dear, very well done, little Twilight Sparkle! We have heard you out, and you have made a very credible threat against Us and our beloved. We are sorry to say that We are simply going to take that chance and kill you now. Farewell!"

Twilight takes an instinctive step back, but otherwise retains her hardened look. With her entire life resting on a 6 pound trigger pull, she still holds strong. Damn, she's got gigantic purple balls. "I-I wouldn't! I've enchanted this thing with a dead-mare switch! If I die, this th-"

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FACE OF CARING?!"

No, It really didn't.

Idly, you reach your arm out and jerk the crossbow up as Luna fires, discharging a bolt through one of the stained-glass windows. Twilight flinches, but recovers quickly when she realized she's still alive. Luna looks to you as though you had just broken her beloved moon, and is about to rip you in half, vertically.

You'll explain the method to your madness, though. "That's not a real bomb."

Twilight freezes stone cold. "W-what are you- Don't test me! Bring Celestia back, or everyone dies!"

Yeah, you're not buying this. Nightmare's expression morphs, with magical grip still firm around the crossbow and taking aim at Twilight once again, as she now tries to figure out what psychoactive drugs you've taken. You were uncertain before, but you're absolutely convinced, now. "No, Twilight." You calmly say. "That's not really an explosive vest you're wearing." Without even thinking, you descend the steps of the throne and walk over towards the now terrified purple unicorn.

"S-stay back! I'll... I'll-!!"

You ignore her as you approach closer. She tries to scamper backwards to get away from you, but a couple of halberd soldiers move in from her 3 and 9 positions to block her escape. She's all yours, now.

Squatting down to her level, you get a better look at the get-up she's wearing. Holy shit, you can't believe what you're seeing.

You reach forward, and rip off the first piece of this incredibly simplistic puzzle. A quick inspection reveals the obvious. "This isn't a bomb, this is a clock," you deadpan.

She stares in horror at the shiny brass alarm clock that you've just removed from her. "N-no! It's not a clock, it's a bomb! I'll make it explode! REALLY!" And that's where it all unravels.

"AHA!" You stand back up and point an accusatory finger at her. "THIS is not supposed to be the bomb! THIS is not what's supposed to blow up! The explosive compound is supposed to be in those tubes wrapped around you!"

Speaking of which, those things look a little flimsy. Discarding the phoney bomb timer, you reach over and pluck one of the tubes off of Twilight's vest. You play around with it a little in your hand. "Are these... cardboard toilet paper rolls spray-painted black?"

The fear in the air is palpable as she swallows hard. She has no answer for you. You let out a sigh and roll your eyes. "Yeah, okay, Clock Girl, I've seen enough."

Turning back to Nightmare, you throw your arms up in an exaggerated shrug. "It's a fake. She's not hurting anyone."

Her weapon droops slightly as Queen Moon stares blankly, dumbfounded at this revelation. For a moment, she looks like she's struggling to decide whether to laugh or scream in rage at this ridiculous waste of time.

"You threaten to blow Us up- Blow Our Anonymous up... and it is all merely a ruse..." Suddenly, her weapon perks up again, pointed in your direction. "While We are glad to hear that your threats were simply nothing more than venomous words, We have decided to execute you now. Anonymous, please step aside."

Whoa, hold the phones. Normally, you had no problem with Nightmare Moon going about her executions like it was just another day at the office, but this is Twilight we're talking about here. You would feel pretty bad to see her get killed over a half-assed bomb threat, likely planned entirely during her little arts and crafts project.

"Hey, come on, put the crossbow down for a second. I'm not so sure she needs to die, here..."

Nightmare glares at you, but holds firm. "She barges into OUR palace claiming to have an explosive device attached to her, and you think she is not prepared for death? Did she honestly expect to be walking out of this room alive with her demands met?!"

"But it wasn't even a real bomb! She probably commissioned a fucking kindergarten kid to make for her during art time or something!"

Nightmare seethes, unsatisfied. "If she is willing to make such threats, then she had better have the means to actually CARRY THEM OUT! Now because of her actions, We shall gut her alive, and see that her innards are spread across a concrete slab to pecked apart by the Harpy birds of Northern Evershire!" Her wicked, evil grin forms at this last part.

The room falls silent, all the guards glance at each other in confusion. Nightmare notices this, adding her own look to match. "What...? Aren't you all familiar with 'Birding'? T'was a delightful execution method involving a common household spice that..." Still nothing, "...sent a strong message to...-" Her face hardens.

Another moment of awkward silence passes before one of the unicorn guards, the one who had his weapon snatched, speaks up. "Uhm, Y-Your Royal Highness... The Northern Harpy was officially declared extinct about a hundred years ago. They were put on an endangered species list and what few birds were still left were put into a conservation until their numbers picked back up, but... it just didn't happen, Your Highness. They're all gone now."

The nervous guard hangs his head low, for fear of losing it. Moony frowns harder before addressing everyone in attendance. "Alright, you inbred mongoloids, We have been banished for a thousand years. You must tell Us these kinds of things!" Every Lunar Guard in the room shuffled on their hooves awkwardly, looking around, trying to avoid eye-contact with the horribly time-displaced ruler. "Honestly, throw Us a carrot, here!" Nightmare huffs. "Next you will tell Us that the beloved tradition of Prima Nocta has been abandoned, and that We are no longer allowed to take any recently wed mare or stallion to bring to Our bedchambers and ravag-"

The poor soldier pony once again brings the out-of-touch Queen into the present time period with an awkwardly forced cough. Nightmare Moon looks to everyone in the room with a mixture of disgust and rage, her magic hovering dangerously around her crossbow's trigger. "Oh DAMNATION! What kind of time period is this?! Alright, that's it! All of you, GET OUT! Your Queen orders you to find a pony to fornicate with within the next hour. Fail to do so, and you shall be dishonourably discharged from Our service! Now begone!"

The Lunar Guards are taken aback by their sudden shift in orders, but nevertheless, all of them hastily shuffle out the throne room door, passing an extremely bewildered Captain Sky.

"Except for you!" Nightmare shouts, pointing squarely at the particularly unlucky, weapon-stripped stallion. "You shall wait right over there. We are not finished with you..." She growls menacingly, bringing her pointing hoof over to a spartan corner of the throne room.

The soldier gulps fearfully before quickly making his way to where he has been commanded.

You shake your head a little at what just happened, but you hold your position between the weapon and its target. You look down to Twilight and see she's shaking like a leaf. Yeah, you could tell that she didn't really want to go through with this. How desperate could she have been to "take on" Nightmare Moon in this way? Was she all out of ideas?

"Twilight..." you sigh. "Why would you risk your life on such a stupid plan like this? C'mon, you couldn't have actually expected this to work..."

She frowns at you, but her voice is wobbly. "W-well, I had to try SOMETHING! Anything to stop Nightmare Moon! I knew she had a soft spot for you, so I thought I could use that against her..."

You had to admit, that's probably the best way to get at Luna. She was a hardened target. You, on the other hand, were pretty soft. If you were in her hooves, the one to target between You or Nightmare would be pretty obvious. "Okay, I'll give you props for knowing who to go for, but... like THIS? Come on, Twilight, you're smarter than that."

"I've never tried my hoof at carrying out a bombing, let alone a suicide one, alright?! I-It wasn't supposed to happen like this..." Her head slumps in depression, and you can't help but feel bad for her, even if her scheme did happen to involve targeting you. "We were supposed to find the Elements of Harmony, stop Nightmare Moon, and save Equestria..."

A sharp "HA!" booms from behind you. "'Save Equestria'? From whom? We? Does Equestria currently suffer under Our rule?"

Twilight frowns, glaring past you to Nightmare. "Yes, YOU! You banished Celestia! You're evil, and you want to cover Equestria in eternal night!" It sounds like this little pony knows what side her bread is buttered on. Kind of like you, you suppose.

"Which why the We now allow the sun to rise once again, hmm? Because We are an 'evil' queen who wishes to oppress Our ponies with eternal night? Perhaps place all of Equestria under martial law, with banners of Our image plastered everywhere as Our soldiers arrest any pony for daring to so much as speak ill of Our rule?" She gives a mock gasp, putting a hoof to her cheek in surprise. "Oh! Perish that thought, We have forgotten that ponies slander Our name and carry on unpunished on a nightly basis. We should surely do something about that..."

Twilight's expression breaks for a moment, there. Nightmare Moon kinda had a point. The 'eternal night' thing was pretty short-lived, and you had managed to convince her to bring back the sun, just so she could have ponies to actually rule over, if nothing else. While she definitely, without a doubt carries out many more executions than Celestia ever did, to be fair, the ponies she executes were rapists, or murderers, or ponies that tried to kill her or you... Nightmare had always told you that the most satisfying part of justice was the deliverance.

"I-I don't know why you gave up on that part of your plan, but... you're still evil! You're not fooling me! You think you're good, but you're not! You tried to bring eternal night a thousand years ago, and Celestia stopped you!"

Celestia and what happened a thousand years ago were obviously still very sore subjects for Nightmare, as you could tell by that fierce snarl on her face. "And WHERE, pray tell, did you learn so much about Us that makes you think that you have Our entire being figured out?"

Twilight swallows, but tries to remain confident. "It was where I learned about the prophecy of your return. It was a book-"

"'A book' she says!" Nightmare loudly interrupts, with a look of contempt on her face as she recoils in disgust. "And when was this book written? Hmm? Was it perhaps after Our banishment by the hooves of Our sister? If We may be so bold to presume, did this book you read profess that We carried out Our rebellion against Our sister merely because ponies slept through Our night?"

Twilight's thought process seems to hit a bit of a snag. "Yes, but-"

But Nightmare isn't through, yet. "And was this the ONLY book you could find that references Our existence?"

"I tried looking some more, but I couldn't find-"

"Because perhaps Our sister, being the victor of our squabble a thousand years ago, decided to write history in her favour? Didst thou consider that possibility?"

Purple book horse is not having any of that. "Celestia would never do something like that...! Or... W-well, maybe what was in that book is all anyone needs to know about you! You're a childish, selfish mare who doesn't deserve to rule Equestria! Everyone loved Celestia because she was kind and caring! You're a bitter, evil mare who kills ponies! Maybe I couldn't find anything more about you because Celestia decided that you're a stain on Equestria's history that needs to be forgotten!"

It's right around now that you're regretting standing where you are. The room is dead silent, and the only thing standing between Twilight and a magazine-fed, high capacity crossbow is you. On one hand, you're kind of pissed at Twilight for taking such a low blow on Luna like that.

On the other hand, who has Twilight lost because of Luna's takeover? Celestia meant a lot to her, and you sure-as-shit would be threatening to bomb Celestia to the stone age if the positions were switched.

And on the third hand... You really don't want to be a friendly fire statistic while being made into a human pin-cushion by a trigger-happy Moony. Looking over, she appears to be stone-still, however. Luna's face is unreadable, but her crossbow sure as fuck is.

"Hey... You're wrong about her." You state plainly to the failed terrorist.

Twilight, emboldened by the emotional hit she scored on Luna, raises an eyebrow at you. "Oh, am I? If anything, what she did after taking control of Equestria validates what I know about her to the point! She's a walking stereotype, a classic boogeymare out of a foal's story, and that tells me everything I need to know about her!" What a cocky little pony she turns into when she thinks she's right.

"So... what's her real name, then?"

Silence.

Twilight wears her little shit-eating grin, before blinking. "I'm sorry, what? Her real name? Uh, Nightmare Moon? What are you-"

"No no, before that. If you're so sure that you know everything you need to know about her, then what's her real name? She wasn't always known as Nightmare Moon. As you undoubtedly know, she's had an entire life that she's lived, full of hopes and dreams. What was her name before she took on that title? Back when she was known as Celestia's sister?"

"Ah-..."

You glance over to your girlfriend, and see that she is also interested in the answer Twilight will give. She patiently sits there, waiting expectantly for the answer to come.

Twilight stammers a bit more, scratching her head to come up with an answer. "Uhhhm... Princess... M-Moon...ia?"

Damn, so close.

"Get out."

The words are not screamed or shouted, just plainly ordered. The crossbow that was being pointed at you and Twilight drops to the floor as Nightmare Moon hangs her head in disappointment. Her hoof extends, pointing towards the door.

Twilight stares blankly, dumbfounded. "Wha-?"

"We order thee to GET OUT. Leave Our palace and never return, Twilight Sparkle." She doesn't even lift her head, she speaks towards the floor.

Looking at Twilight, though, her face is a lot more animated. She seems to be kind of shocked that she's being allowed to live, especially after giving what was clearly the wrong answer.

She stumbles a little on her way towards the exit, before looking back to the queen. Nightmare Moon is a statue, slumped over, face pointed squarely towards the floor. She says nothing, and no one, not even you, can tell whether she is enraged, anguished, or simply annoyed. Twilight then looks to you, conflicted. You, the guy who had helped 'doom' Equestria, had just saved her.

And on the other side of it, you had just saved the mare who'd have no problem removing you to 'save' Equestria. Maybe it's because you know she's a good pony, and she's doing what she thinks is right. Just like you did what you thought was right, even though you were the bad guy to Twilight and the rest of Equestria. What a mess...

Without another word, Twilight scampers out of the throne room.

You decide it would be best to go check up on Luna.

As you approach, she finally snaps out of her catatonic state. She doesn't seem too pleased. "You should have let Us kill that worthless whore, Anonymous..."

You give her a chastising look, folding your arms. "Save the executions for the ponies who deserve it, alright? Twilight is a good pony who doesn't deserve it. You're just getting grumpy and want to kill any pony who pisses you off. Kill with your head, not with your heart."

She snarls at your implication that she's lost control over her emotions. "She threatened Us! If she sai-"

"So what? If I say I'm going to blow up the moon, are you going to shoot me for making the threat, even if it turns out my bomb is just a shitty alarm clock? You just don't like her, and you're looking for an excuse to kill her, Moony."

Looking away from you, she grumbles in frustration. She knows that you're right, she just doesn't want to admit it.

From the corner of your eye, the unarmed guard from earlier once again draws your attention. "U-uh, Y-your Highness... I'm so sorry to b-bring this up, but... Y-you should know that... There seems to be... You appear to be uh..." His normally grey face is beet-red as he looks to the floor just behind Nightmare.

You follow his gaze to a small puddle of white, right beneath the queen.

Oh shit.

You kinda thought your cum would just... disappear when Luna changed back into her other form. Apparently she thought that as well. Turns out it didn't. Huh... You learn something new every day.

Luna's face twists with rage as she once again seizes the crossbow she had previously discarded. "Yes, guard? Tell us what We 'appear to be.'" Nightmare menacingly brings the weapon towards her and the terrified guard, checking the magazine and casually sweeping it by him with her magical grip around the trigger.

The guard isn't saying anything other than some incoherent stammers, but you could hardly blame him. There really was no way to tactfully tell a short-tempered queen of the night that she was unknowingly leaking the jizz of her lover whom she had just finished having sex with twenty minutes ago.

Sighing and rolling your eyes, you snatch the weapon out of Moony's grip before shoving it into the chest of its rightful owner, prompting him to take ahold of it once more before slinking away back to his corner.

Turning back to Nightmare, you hope you could get her to listen to reason. "Listen, Twilight is a good pony, and she's just really, really hurt by what we did to her. I think it would do us some good to at least try to make peace with her."

Annoyed at your persistent tolerance towards the student of her enemy, Luna growls. "And how would you know if she is a good pony or not? You are just as much a stranger to this current Equestria as We are!"

Giving the same answer you always give when you reveal that you know more about Equestria than you let on, you bring up your hands and wiggle your fingers in a twinkling motion. "Oracle powers," you say simply.

"Bah! Damn your mystical, yet also surprisingly unhelpful insight!" Nightmare grumbles. Yeah, it was pretty unhelpful now that the future of Equestria has been changed, but it still had its uses here and there.

"C'mon, you of all ponies should know what it's like to be wronged and feeling powerless to make things right. Twilight is basically YOU right now."

She rolls her eyes at this and scoffs. "Oh please, the two of us are hardly comparable in this instance."

Reaching out, you give an endearing little rub on the side of her neck. "Well, from the perspective of an outsider looking in, there's some shocking similarities. Hell, you just stopped her from getting the thing she wanted, and banished her from this palace!"

She gives an unconvinced, half-lidded stare at you. "It sounds like you are grasping at straws, Anonymous."

Yeah, alright, she got you there. That was a pretty shitty comparison. "Well, whatever, I think it would do you some good to try to patch things up with Twilight. Celestia meant a lot to her, and even if it wasn't your intention to hurt Twilight specifically, she was nevertheless some collateral damage during the takeover."

Nightmare looks away, but says nothing. She knows where you're going with this, you can tell. "I know you're not a bad pony, but how about being the bigger mare and convincing her that you're not such a bad pony? If she doesn't wanna accept it, then fine, but at least you could say you tried."

She remains silent, pondering this. Then, she looks up, eyes unsure. "Anonymous, We do not think We-"

"Too late! I'm already heading out to go talk to Twilight! Be back soon!"

Before she can even react, you pat her on the helmet before running out the door to try to catch up to Twilight. This is one of those things that neither of them would likely want to do, but NOT doing it wouldn't be healthy for either of them. Maybe if you could get a non-hostile dialogue going between them, they could air out their feelings, and the process of healing and understanding could happen. God knows both of them are in some desperate need of that.

...Plus, you should probably get some distance from Luna for making her leak your cum like that. She already beat the shit out of you, and you have no interest in being torn a second anus.

Sweet mother of Christ, you're going to have one hell of a time trying to convince a third pony to jump into bed with her...

*~*~*~*

Putting yourself into fast motion, you dodge several guards and weekend palace workers during your sprint to the front entrance. Some of the guards glanced attentively at you, likely discerning your sudden haste as a reaction to some security concern. You had stopped for only a split second to question a Lunar trooper standing sentry if he had seen a purple unicorn walk by, to which he unhelpfully replied that she had exited the palace, into the non-specific direction of Canterlot. Putting your ass in gear, you rush out the front gate before she has a chance to get too far away.

The night sky shimmers with a thousand tiny twinkles on this seemingly moonless night. You weren't paying attention to the schedule, but judging by the dark, circular outline in the night sky, it looks like tonight is a lunar eclipse. Huh... You wonder if Nightmare has anything to do with that, or if it's just pure coincidence of the lunar cycle.

Getting back to the task at hand, you come to a stop outside of the palace and scan your surroundings. At first thought, the idea of locating a pony at night time might seem a daunting task, luckily, the city was well-illuminated during the night, with rows of magic-powered street lamps aiding the visibility of those unfortunate enough to not be born with the enhanced night vision that Luna and her cursed guard ponies possessed.

Thankfully, Twilight's coat was a pretty vivid color, which would make her easy to spot... were it not for all these other candy-coloured ponies walking the streets, as well. It probably shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it looked like some of the population of Canterlot was starting to adapt to the Queen's schedule. Since government-related functions now operated almost exclusively at night, it seems like some businesses and ponies have begun to follow suit. The night crowd is no longer just the party-goers looking to get hammered at the nightclubs, but now government workers and anyone else on the night schedule who needed to shop for groceries or mail a parcel or visit the bank. It was kinda surreal how the nighttime city was almost in no way different from the daytime one, but that made your current objective that much harder to find...

Making your way down the only street leading to and from the palace, you scan the crowd for the failed suicide bomber. Your presence in town draws a few glances from the populace, both worried ones and curious ones. You didn't leave the palace often, and as the 2nd-in-Command to Queen Nightmare Moon, you must obviously be out amongst the ponies for a reason, and whether that reason be sinister or not, that was entirely up to their imaginations.

Continuing your brisk pace down the street, you keep your head on a swivel, looking out for... THERE. You spot that familiar shade of lavender. "Hey! Twilight!"

Having finally caught up to her, she spins around to see who was calling her name. When she looks up to see your face, she appears to be less than happy to see you. "Oh, it's you... What do you want?"

Wow, that's a hell of a question. 'The Things That I Want': by Anonymous. A smoke, some rum. For the moon to shine. To sleep and forget your old world, your old life. Unlimited ammo and a license to kill.

...But in reality, you already had pretty much all of that, so you'd have to drum up a new list one of these nights. "I just want to talk to you, that's all." You say simply.

That look of mild disgust on her face is indicative that she's not pleased with that response. "Please take this personally, Anonymous, but you are the second-last one that I want to speak to right now. If that's all-"

You understand that she's pretty unhappy, given her current circumstances and what just happened, but still... Now she's just being a bigger cunt than she has any right to be. "You know, that's a pretty ungrateful attitude to have towards the guy who just saved your ass from execution on terrorism and attempted regicide charges."

This shuts her up as your words sink in. She frowns, unwilling to accept that she owes you one. "Oh please, don't act like you called your mistress off out of the kindness of your heart! There was obviously a reason that you did that."

For a smart pony, she could sure be pretty dumb. You choose to believe that she's just that determined to view you through 'bad guy' goggles. "And what reason could that be, you stupid nerd horse? What reason could I possibly have to let you, the most dangerous enemy to Nightmare Moon and I, just walk free? The smart thing for me to do would have been to just let Nightmare kill you, or at the very least, imprison you so you don't go around stirring the 'rebellion' pot with that magical affinity of yours. But no, I felt that would be wrong and unfair to you, so yeah, I sorta did save you out of the kindness of my heart!"

She's silent, but she still isn't relenting with that angry scrunch on her face. Try as she might, she's really in no position to deny that you have some leverage over her right now.

You fold your arms, unperturbed. "I could always go back and tell Nightmare Moon to go ahead and issue that kill order if you really didn't care that much for my help. OR, how about this? I assign a Lunar hit squad to track down your AWOL brother, the former Royal Guard captain, and let him suffer your sentence?"

Her eyes go as wide saucers. "Y-you wouldn't!"

"Yeah, you're right. I wouldn't. I'd hate to see such a handsome stallion meet his end to a firing squad like that... Still, I could probably get some other nasty shit happen to your family, instead. Maybe get Nightmare to put a deportation order on all dragons. How do you think Spike would like that?"

She takes a step back in horror, mouth agape and eyes full of fear. "N-no! W-what do you want from me?!"

You try to correct your posture and stance to look as non-threatening as possible. You may have overdone it with the intimidation factor, but sometimes it's the only way to get people or ponies to listen to you and not brush you away.

"I told you, I just want to talk to you," you say truthfully. Looking around, you're now uncomfortably aware of some of the ponies who are staring at the scene you and Twilight are making. "...But this really isn't a dialogue we need to have in public."

Taking a moment to compose herself after that jolt of fear, Twilight sighs. "Where, then?"

You shrug. "Just... not out in the street, someplace we can sit down and have private discussion. Is there a coffee place nearby or something? I could sure go for one."

Twilight stares at the ground briefly, before she sluggishly turn back in the direction she was heading, and gestures for you to follow her. "There's coffee at my place. Let's go."

Invited into the home of the enemy. Nice. Just you being exposed like this out in public was already a massive security nightmare, so why not double down on it? Ah, but you know Twilight. You may not be her favourite person right now, but she's not a conniving, backstabbing bitch. You'll likely be just fine.

"Alright, sounds good," you smile, before looking over to your side. "Just gimme one second..."

Quickly shifting your attention from Twilight, you turn around to face an idle earth pony mare standing at a street crossing. "Hi there, miss, do you know who I am?"

The pony who was minding her own business faces you, slightly confused. Her face scans you up and down as she tries to place a name. "Oh, uh- yeah, you're the Queen's right-hoof guy, Anomaly, right?"

"Close. It's Anonymous, actually. Listen, I know this may seem pretty forward, but would you like to have a threesome with Queen Nightmare Moon and I?"

The mare gives your a deadpan stare, which in itself should have told you wordlessly what the answer to that is. "This isn't 'Magical Porno Land', y'know. Just because you're in a position of power doesn't mean that ponies will automatically be down to fuck you."

Just as you're about to speak, the roadway becomes clear, and the mare crosses the street, away from you. God fucking damn it, this is not turning out like those smutty fanfics like you had hoped. You're offering the chance to get into bed with the QUEEN OF FUCKING EQUESTRIA for fuck's sake! And you don't mean to toot your own horn or anything, but if your penis is good enough for her, then it should be good for any of these sad, pastel-colored chumps.

Do these ponies suffer from low sex drive or something? Maybe you need to spike the city's water supply with aphrodisiacs...

Turning back to Twilight, you apologize for the interruption and urge her to lead on.

*~*~*~*

Keep Your Friends Close

Zounds, this morning had quickly devolved from an enjoyable, post-coital catnap to an aggravating, non-explosive standoff that had gone horribly wrong, though for completely unexpected reasons. At this rate, you’ll be dragging yourself to the palace’s medical wing with your stomach having completely turned into a peptic ulcer before it’s time for supper. You were even denied the soothing, cathartic relief that an execution would bring. Yes, this night’s second half was on the fast track to hell, and the conductor was shoveling in the coal at an alarming rate.

And rather than coal, it was actually a large mound of a bull’s excrement.

You are a very disgruntled and disenchanted Nightmare Moon, reigning monarch of Equestria, guardian of the moon, stars, and evidently, Mare of the Year, according to last week’s issue of Equestria Today! magazine. That last one seemed rather odd, given the fact that you’ve been completely absent from this world’s existence during the former half of this year.

It seems that your Royal Concubine has seen fit to run off and try to make peace with that mouthy little mare who had tried to re-banish you upon return from your millennium-long imprisonment. You had foolishly decided to spare the life of her and her friends after their defeat by your hooves, and this is how she had decided to reciprocate your mercy. You really, REALLY wanted to just kill her and be done with the headache. It would have been so easy, Gods above, killing comes as naturally as breathing to you! A simple vaporization, beheading, or neck-snap, and then back to business as usual. You could have done it so simply, easily, remorselessly...

...So why didn’t you?

You’ve already come this far. Celestia will not be coming back within the foreseeable future, you’ve taken your spot as the sole ruler of Equestria, and you’ve made multiple bloody examples of those who dare to try remove you from your place of power. So why the hesitation now? What stopped you from taking that plunge into the “True Evil” territory that your damned subjects have already collectively decided that you inhabit?

’Save the executions for the ponies who deserve it, alright? Twilight is a good pony who doesn’t deserve it. Kill with your head, not with your heart.’

It was because Anonymous did not want you to kill her, that’s why. Every pony you have killed so far had unquestionably deserved it, particularly for trying to kill you and/or Anonymous. You had already justified that mare’s death in your own mind, but Anonymous had stepped in to firmly inform you that it was not actually the righteous slaughter that you believed it to be, much to your annoyance. Perhaps he was right, though. Murdering ponies who simply annoyed you is likely not the best path for your fragile mind to trot. As loose and flexible as your own moral compass may be, the idea of straight up murdering the innocent just doesn’t settle well with you. You suppose that’s technically a good thing, as it reminds you that, despite what the tabloids keep printing, you still have some touch with your equinity... For whatever that’s worth.

“Your Majesty, if it’s not too much to ask, could I have my service weapon back?”

You are snapped out of your melancholic pondering by the voice of the trooper you had exiled to the corner to think about what he had done. Ah yes, he who had so thoughtfully and tactlessly pointed out that the seed of your lover was currently leaking out the back of you.

Your face scrunches as you turn your pointed gaze to face him. “Hmm... Nay,” you grumble, picking up the crossbow that sits on the floor beside you. Bringing it up, you give the weapon a proper inspection. “We are rather... intrigued by this fascinating weapon. We had ordered these in bulk for Our guard forces at the advisement of Our most trusted commanding officers. Truth be told, We did not know what to expect when we authorized the procurement of these contraptions.” Your magic once again takes hold of the grip, clearly designed for a species other than ponies to grasp. Waving the weapon around and getting a feel for the weight feels strangely... satisfying. “Yes... We like this weapon, indeed. We believe We shall be holding onto this for the time being.”

The guard in the corner gives an awkward swallow. “I will need to sign out another from the armoury if I’m to fulfill my duties, my queen...”

His words barely register to you as you’re still enamored by the potential killing power of this device. “Enh? Oh, yes, begone. Rearm.”

The guard gives a small sigh of relief as he is excused from his spot of indignity.

“One moment, We shall have your name and rank before you shamefully slink away from Us.”

“Err... Sterling, Your Highness. Master Corporal Sterling Silver.”

You are slightly taken aback by this. “Truly? Thou art in a position of leadership?!”

The soldier gulps. “I... took out two Royal Guard soldiers and wounded another during your take-over when they revolted, Your Highness. My new chain of command saw fit to promote me based on that.”

It seems that the purge of roughly half of the effective strength of the Royal Guard Force has left some rather... lackluster troops to fill the rank void. You should really consider a hiring blitz to get some new blood pumping around here. For now, though, you suppose ponies like this will have to do.

“We see... This repugnant display of observation to the wrong sort of detail has been noted, Master Corporal. If thou are caught gazing up Our nether regions again, We shall see fit to remove yours.” You make a shoo-ing motion with your hoof. “Leave.”

“Y-yes, I understand, Your Highness.” He wastes no more time skittering towards the grand door of the throne room, passing by the blank-faced Captain Vigilant Sky.

The Captain himself walks up to you as give an exasperated sigh, hooves massaging your temples as you wonder if this is what you will have to expect to do on your weekends from now on. Did Celestia have to deal with constant terrorist attacks after the end of her work week?

“Is everything alright, Your Highness?”

“No, everything is not alright, you sycophantic blunderbuss!” You snap at such a ridiculous question. Clearly the powers of observation worked on a sliding scale within the ranks of your guards. “Every day and night, there is some new malcontent storming into Our palace—Our home—to loudly and violently proclaim their... discontent. Usually verbally, occasionally physically. Tell us, did Celestia ever have to deal with such a hostile populace? Honestly, throw Us a carrot, here!”

“I wouldn’t look so deeply into it, Your Highness,” the guard captain says, shuffling his position slightly, but his face offering no real emotional indication. “The ponies that come here for your court hearings represent just a small percentage of the common pony’s opinion. I’m sure your approval rating has started to climb these past couple months.”

“Oh, truly?” Looking off to your side, you telekinetically grab a newspaper that sits idle on a table nearby. “Then why does it prove such a challenge to find a pony who looks upon Our crown with reverence and respect?” Holding it out in front of the captain’s squinting face, the front page displays a (poorly) doctored image of you holding a pitchfork with demon horns sprouting from your head while a superimposed ring of flames surrounds you. Below, the headline reads:

Crazed Queen Nightmare “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” Moon Senselessly Slaughters Six

Evidentally, foiling an elaborate assassination attempt on you was considered vile enough to be ‘senseless’.

Captain Sky crooks his head, nonplussed. “This is just typical leftist tabloid garbage, my queen. These same reporters roasted Princess Celestia on regular basis, and your rather... ‘eccentrically strict’ style of ruling is causing the media to eat it up like the vultures they are. They blow things like this out of proportion all the time.”

Giving an annoyed “Hmmph,” you begrudgingly accept that reasoning. Tossing the paper aside, your mind still rests on the events that have just transpired these past thirty minutes.

Thinking deeply on not just why it happened, but how, your brow furrows. “What We wish to know is how in the unholy Hells did a single, mere unicorn mare manage to stroll right into Our throne room with an explosive device? Not just any mare, mind thee, but Celestia’s student! Every pony in this palace must know who she is! Did no guard think to detain or even question what she was doing skulking in Our palace long after royal business has been adjourned for the weekend?!” The guard captain’s uncertain facial expression does little to reassure you.

“Are We truly being unreasonable in Our expectations for security within this palace? Or are We simply being a... a...” You pause as you try to recall the vernacular of today’s youth. “Oh, damnation, what do the kids these days call it? A ’stuck-up bitch’?”

The stallion awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, averting his gaze. “Your hi-...”

“Are We a ‘stuck-up bitch’, Captain?”

He gulps. “...Are you, uh... looking for the honest answer, or just what I think you would like to hear, Your Majesty...?”

“We shall allow thou to decide that...” you snarl, bringing your stare of ice just a bit closer.

A pregnant pause fill the air as he seems torn on how to answer. This tells you all you need to know, but are interested to hear what he’ll say, regardless. “No,” he finally replies. “You’re not a stuck-up bitch, Your Majesty, but... if I had to guess, then I would have to say there may be an internal security threat that needs to be immediately eradicated. It could have been one of our own who waved Ms. Sparkle through.”

“An internal...-?” Perfect, this is just what you needed right now. Rebel groups are running around Equestria, terrorists are strolling into your throne room, and now there are traitorous rats amongst the ranks of your guards. “This is unacceptable, Captain! This palace is the heart of Our rule, and We have NOT worked this hard securing it just to have Our operations compromised by traitors! You will coordinate with your second-in-command, you will identify this traitor or traitors, and you shall report them to Us, directly! We will have this threat purged promptly, are We understood on that?”

“Yes, Your Highness,” he belts obediently. “I’ll brief Warrant Officer Purple Posey imediately. We’ll get right to work digging up the moles and cleaning house. This palace will be secured in no time.”

“It should be secured right now, Captain,” you seethe impatiently. “As you were.”

The pegasus officer gives a swift salute, and leaves the room in a brisk pace.

You now find yourself as the only one left in the throne room. Your officer in charge of palace security is investigating an internal threat, your royal boyfriend is off goddess-knows-where, fraternizing with a known enemy of the crown, and a small section of your Lunar Guard has been dismissed to go rut, under threat of discharge. This is not really how you planned on your weekend going, but... here you are.

The master corporal’s humiliatingly apt observation still hangs fresh in your mind. With that, you decide that now is as good a time as any for a nice, refreshing shower. Slinging your military-issued weapon across your back, you drearily trudge towards the direction of your personal quarters’ bathroom, feeling the uncharacteristic desire to cleanse yourself with some kind of ridiculous sun-scented shampoo.

This place truly made you sick.

*~*~*~*

You really have to admit it, but for a totally reclusive shut-in, purple bookhorse had a pretty swanky apartment. The first thing that caught your eye was a giant, tacky decorative hourglass in the middle of the living room. You immediately tried looking through it towards the horse-head bust sitting on a shelf opposite of it to see if Nightmare’s head would appear, but no such luck. Ah well, it was worth a shot.

You are Anonymous, and you’re here for a reason. Hoping to make amends with an unintended casualty of your takeover with Nightmare Moon, Twilight Sparkle has graciously decided to hear you out, despite having every reason to tell you to go fuck yourself and to go fall down a very tall flight of stairs for all eternity.

Well, to be fair, you did stop Nightmare from executing her, so maybe asking her to give you a chance wasn’t such a tall order. You know that Twilight isn’t a bad pony, and is definitely no terrorist. You hope that just maybe you could convince her to forgive you and Luna, possibly avoiding any more... ‘confrontations’ like you had earlier. Did that really qualify as a confrontation?

The horse in question is in the kitchen, preparing coffee out of a coffeemaker that looks like it has definitely seen some fair use. In the meantime, you figure you might as well poke around a little. Twilight’s place is pretty rad, it’s got this weird ‘modern’ feel to it that reminds you of higher-end condominiums back home. It’s even got giant-ass windows looking over Canterlot. Part of you doesn’t blame her for not getting out more.

Nearby, you see a purple lizard who you recognize as Spike sitting lazily in a small beanbag chair, reading a comic of some sort. Without even really thinking about it, you wander over, intent on making small talk. Noticing your approach, he pulls his attention away from his book. “Who are-... Oh, it’s you. You’re A Manatee, right?”

“Anonymous,” you correct. Boy, this trend is definitely going to take a toll on you.

“Oh. Sorry. Wait, aren’t you Nightmare Moon’s henchman?”

“Yeah, sort of.” You pause awkwardly, thinking that one over. “And by ‘sort of’, I mean ‘yes, because I have no clue what my official job title actually is,’ so I suppose ‘henchman’ is as good as anything else right now.” You should really speak to her and get that cleared up one of these nights.

He nods in understanding, which strikes you as a little weird. “That’s pretty cool. I’m kinda like Twilight’s henchman, you know.”

“You’re the guy she delegates all the bitch-work to? Yeah, I know how that goes, believe me.” It was kind of nice to find a kindred spirit in this world. Another whose purpose is also to be the lackey to a much smarter, bigger horse. “So, uh... how’ve you been doing these past couple weeks under a new ruler? Honestly, has it really been that bad?”

He shrugs indifferently. “I’ve been alright, I guess... I miss Celestia, though. She was always nice to me. Twilight’s been busy researching ways to get her back, so I’ve had it pretty easy for awhile. I’ve mostly just been hanging around, catching up on my comics.”

“Oh yeah? Wat’cha reading?”

Spike holds up his book for you to see, bearing the cover of a secret agent-looking pony with a short, dark mane cut wearing sunglasses and a deadpan expression on his face looking up towards the sky. In the background, a cityscape with glaring spotlights and pegasus ponies can be seen, while along the top reads the title.

“It’s called Celestius Ex,” he happily explains. “It’s about this pony named AJ Henson who’s got all these robotic body parts called ‘augs’, and he finds out that the super secret spy agency he works for is actually being controlled by this group of evil ponies who secretly control Celestia and run Equestria. AJ is really cool ‘cause he’s got all these super awesome robot powers like invisibility and super strength and hacking and stuff, and when ponies ask why he wears sunglasses at night, he says ‘my eyesight is enhanced.’”

“That’s... neat.” You take just a moment to let that little sucker mentally digest. “We have something along those lines back home, but it’s not nearly as interesting as... as that.” This weird version of Equestria you’ve fallen into is pretty fucked, it’s almost like everything you’ve ever known still exists, yet is twisted in convoluted and contrived ways to fit the context of horses. “I’m actually kind of surprised you’re into that. You seem pretty young to really understand the underlying themes of betrayal, government conspiracy, trans-ponyism and shit like that.”

“I’m not that young!” He huffs. “I read stuff like this all the time! Just last week, I finished The UniCourne Identity, Hoof-Life 2, Haylo 3, and I’m halfway through Pax Mayne, which is about this cop who jumps through the air and has nothing to lose when his wife an-”

“I FUCKING KNOW WHO PAX MAYNE IS.” You blurt, a little more loudly than you intended. “PLEASE-, just stop... naming things. I don’t know how much more of these godawful names I can take...”

Noting Spike’s look of deep concern for you, you decide that maybe you should cut this conversation short before your brain implodes. “Alright, don’t let me keep you from your unabashed ripoff-er, comic. I got some... henchman-y business to settle with Twilight.”

“Y-you’re not gonna kill her or lock her up are you?” He exclaims with a suddenly panicked expression.

“What? No, not at all. Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know what that pony in the cloak wanted from Twilight, but she didn’t agree to anything! I swear! Henchman’s honour!”

“Alright, alright, I believe you, just take it easy.” You reassure him, despite how blatantly ominous that sounds. “I only wanted to talk with her, that’s all. I don’t think she’s wrapped up in any kind of terrorist plot or whatever conspiracy scenario you’re thinking of from Deus Ex.”

“...Day us what now?”

You sigh and prepare to leave the frightened and confused drake to his book and overactive imagination. “Nothing, just don’t worry about it, alright? Everything’s going to be fine... probably. Just take a break from the comics every now and again, alright?”

He gives an indignant shrug, and you hear him mutter something about how you and Nightmare are probably going to give everyone ‘the grey death’, anyway.

“And don’t make any deals with the Illuminati, they’re backstabbing cunts.” You add, words of wisdom imparted unto you by your father.

The kid seems scared shitless of government conspiracies, it’s probably best not to feed into his fears. Idly, you meander about the other side of the luxurious apartment.

Scanning the nearby bookshelf, your eyes gloss over what must be hundreds upon hundreds of book spines. Giving an exhale, you twirl your finger in the air before planting it firmly on one at random. Removing your selection from the shelf, you glance at the cover, which is strangely untitled. Cracking open the book, you begin flipping through pages while only halfheartedly scanning their contents until you decide to stop, arbitrarily deciding that you have now found an interesting part to begin reading.

Radiance’s face went bright red as she finally realized what was happening. Surely her wise and beautiful teacher of all these years didn’t mean...? “P-princess...” She gasped, “...are you asking me what I think you’re asking?”

Celestia, with all of the grace and divinity that a goddess of the sun could possess, stepped closer to the trembling unicorn, a calming, serene smile on her bright, shining face. “And what is it do you think I am asking, my dearest little pony?”

“I-I...” Radiance gulped. This couldn’t be real. It was too good to be true. She had shoved her most passionate feelings and fiery lust for her teacher deep, deep down and refused to even acknowledge them when speaking directly to the teacher she idolized. How could Celestia know? It was impossible!

“I-I... I th-think you... y-you’re asking...” She wanted to say it, but the words stuck in her throat. From behind her, Radiance’s marehood throbbed with a great need. That need was for the Princess of the Sun and Moon to attend to attend to it. Thankfully her arousal was out of her ever-knowing teacher’s sight, but the scent...

Radiance had spent many a night fantasizing of the perfect form of Princess Celestia. She treasured every curve of the absolute pinnacle of femininity, longing to lovingly touch and caress that form for herself. Celestia inhaled deeply and sensually. Oh no. She knew. This was bad, so very bad. She would be revolted by the very sight of her once most prized, most faithful student. She would disown her, forsaking her from ever learning or even practicing magic ever again because of her disgraceful, disgusting desires. She would-

All thoughts ceased when a pair of heavenly lips took ahold of her own. Before she could even react, Celestia’s face was up against her’s and taking her in a warm, loving kiss. She tried her best to suppress it, but Radiance couldn’t help but let slip a tiny moan of unbridled pleasure. This couldn’t be real. This was too good to be true...

Just when she thought Celestia was going to pull away, she found her tongue-

“Anonymous, I know you said you wanted a ‘bucket’ of cream and sugar in your coffee, but I-... AAACK!!!”

In less than a second, the book you’re holding erupts and vaporizes in a ball of flame, causing you to yell as your hands are slightly singed in the process. “OW! Fuck! Aw, come on! Radiance and Celestia were just about to enter the bone zone!”

“WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT?!” Twilight nearly screams, the two coffee mugs she was previously levitating now lay spilt near her hooves. “T-That’s personal! How dare you go through my things!”

“I thought it was just another book, jeez, sorry.” You mumble apolegetically, still nursing the minor burns to your hands. “Didn’t realize it was ‘personal,’ or whatever. At least hide that shit in your sock drawer or something.”

Summoning a damp washcloth from the kitchen, “I-It’s... a work in progress. Just forget about it,” Twilight grumbles as she begins wiping up the spilled coffee.

“Wait, YOU wrote that?!” You gape, scratching your head as Twilight’s face goes as red as what was described in her now-charred book. She chooses to ignore you, opting to continue wiping up the remainder of your beverages. “I’ve read my fair share of shameless smut, and I can tell you that from what I read in those couple of paragraphs deserves at least six thumbs up. Plus, it’s an original work! That alone is pretty refreshing, because let me tell you, fan fiction is for lazy, unimaginative losers.”

“H-Haha, yeah... s-sure.” Twilight winces, becoming very fixated on the floor and wiping with increased speed.

“Y’know, If you ever need a prereader or an editor or whatever, I’d be more than happy to lend a hand. There were these faggots I used to hang out with back in the day, they were pretty autistic, but they had good hearts. Anyway, we’d spend all day bouncing prompts off one another that would inevitably lead to sexual conclusions and-”

“ANONYMOUS-” Twilight quickly looks up from her work, chucking the used, coffee-soaked wash cloth to the side. “Look, I- uhm... greatly appreciate the offer, but... why did you insist on coming here?! What is it you want from me?”

Twilight’s sudden question rouses you from your train of thought. Huh, well you had to come to that, eventually, right?

“So uh, remember that time I did you a favour by saving you from getting murdered to death by Nightmare Moon?” The look on Twilight’s face tells you that she does not like where you’re going with this. “I was kinda hoping that you could return the favour by... making friends with Nightmare Moon and forgiving us both.”

“I- Wh- What?! Are you being serious?!”

Well, this is going over as well as you thought it would. “I know it sounds a little crazy and soon-”

“Anonymous, she BANISHED my princess and tried to kill my friends and I not even two whole months ago, and you’re asking me to forgive her, nevermind make friends with her?! How could you ask me to do that?!”

When she says it like that, it really does sounds like you just wasted your time on a fruitless trip to Twilight’s house. It would be a tough sell, but you would have to find a way to convince Twilight to go along with your plan. Given the circumstances, the most appropriate point to attack would be her biggest weak spot. “Twilight... at this point in time, what is the one thing you want most?”

She shakes her head a little in confusion, then tilts it. “Right now? What kind of-...” She sighs, “I want for Princess Celestia to come back and banish Nightmare Moon back to the moon!”

“Okay, now let’s say I could potentially help you with that. Would you be willing to meet me halfway?”

“Y-you’d help us fight Nightmare Moon?” She blinks in surprise, caught off guard by what sounds like your traitorous intentions.

“Pffft, of course not!” You laugh. “I suffer from terminally severe waifuism, so I’ll be at her side ‘til the end!” The purple pony visibly deflates as her momentary possibility of hope flew out the window. “But, what if I told you that maybe, just maybe... Nightmare Moon would be willing to bring Celestia back?”

Silence reigns in the apartment, only the audible ticking of a wall-hung clock could be heard for that moment as Twilight’s eyes drill deep into your own, trying to appraise the sincerity of your claim. Twilight was by no means a vindictive pony, so surely her love for Celestia would triumph over her disdain for Nightmare Moon.

Finally, she musters a response. “I... don’t believe you.” Breaking eye contact, Twilight’s now saddened gaze drifts to the floor. “Why would she ever do that? She hates Celestia! I know how she treats her enemies, especially since I’ve just become one! She’s horrible, she’s spiteful! I think she’s a-.... a...”

“A fucking bitch?”

“No, she’s not that,” she mumbles, her face scrunching up. “I don’t use swear words...”

“Twilight,” you take a kneeling stance, bringing your face to her level. “I understand that asking you to see Nightmare Moon as a fellow pony would be extremely difficult, to put it lightly.”

“Oh, Well I’m so glad you’re considering how I feel, now that Princess Celestia has been taken from me! How awfully considerate of you.” She growls pointedly, and she’s not wrong.

“Okay, okay, I know I really don’t have the moral high ground, here... But I know you’re not the kind of pony to turn away someone who is willing to make amends.”

She snorts softly. “And what makes you think that you know me? What all-knowing power do you possess that makes you think I’m the kind of pony that you think I am? How very presumptuous of you.” She pauses for a moment, remembering another detail. “Even back at the palace, you told me that I was ‘smarter than that’ for trying to carry out that fake bombing. Why? Why would you think that? And how did you know that my brother was the Captain of the Royal Guard?”

Taking a breath, you prepare your response. “You’re Twilight Sparkle. You idolized Princess Celestia since you were a kid after watching her raise the sun. You almost failed your entrance exam into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns when you couldn’t hatch a dragon egg, but after a sudden magical outburst, you did it, and caught the attention of the Princess, herself.”

Purple pony can only stand stone-still and slack-jawed as you recount moments from her life that you couldn’t possibly be there for. “You read about Nightmare Moon in a story called ‘The Mare in the Moon’ which told a rudimentary and simplified version of Nightmare Moon’s story and a prophecy that she would return a thousand years after her banishment. Celestia sent you to Ponyville to oversee preparation for the Summer Sun Celebration when you brought this to her attention, and you were under orders to, in her words, ‘make some friends’. That’s when you met Flutterbutter, Panka Po, Background Pony, Rarara, and Rainbow Cunt.”

“Those are not their-”

“And then, lo and behold, Nightmare Moon returned. You were the only one in the room who recognized her when she made her entrance, and you scrambled back to Ponyville’s library to find the reference guide for the Elements of Harmony. You and your new friends set off into the Everfree Forest to find them, it didn’t turn out the way you thought it would, and six weeks later, here we are, now. You see? I’m not entirely clueless when it comes to you ponies.”

Twilight blanks out in front of you, struggling to process how you could possibly know all that when you only appeared out of thin air just two months ago. “B-but... HOW? How do you know all this?”

You shrug, standing back up and burying your hands in your pockets. “Would you believe me if I told you that I know all that because I came from the future?”

“The future?” She repeats, skeptically. “Really? So you should already know what my answer will be and how this all plays out, right?”

“Not... exactly.” You mumble, rubbing the back of your neck. “You see, when I came here, I kinda ‘changed’ a vital event that sorta... altered the future. A lot. So my knowledge of the future from that point on is... kinda moot.”

“Would that ‘vital event’ happen to be Nightmare Moon being defeated?” She grumbles, annoyed.

“Ah, yup. That’d be it. On a positive note, we’ve most likely averted a tragedy two seasons down the line.”

“Wha- Why? What happens in Winter?” She asks, just a little more confused than you just made her just a moment ago.

“The point of all that,” you state, trying to get back on track, “is that I’m not just bullshitting you when I say that I have an idea of what kind of pony you are, and I know that you’re a good pony who’s willing to hear someone out, or let them try to make things up to you. I am truly sorry for what me and Moony did to hurt you, and if you’d give me a chance, I’d like to try to make it up to you.”

Shifting a little, Twilight sits back on her haunches as your words hit her. Instead of instantly dismissing you, she looks like she is at least considering accepting your olive branch. Unfortunately, your olive branch is all that it was, Nightmare’s would be a different story, but you would cross that bridge when you came to it. If nothing else, the sore, tennis ball-sized bruises on your body tell you that she owes you one, and you were nothing if not a scrupulous debt collector.

Finally, after some consideration, Twilight looks back up to you. “All I want is Celestia back. I appreciate you trying to apologize, but I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive you completely until you bring Celestia back.”

It’s a fair enough thing to ask. “Unfortunately, that one is kinda out of my power. That’s why I’m asking you the favour of at least trying to forgive and make friends with Nightmare. She’s the one who holds the keys to Celestia’s prison. I’m willing to bet if the two of you become close, you’ll be able to convince her to bury the hatchet with Celestia.”

“Again, what makes you think that Nightmare Moon would ever do that?” She asks, not unreasonably. “Nightmare Moon has been very open about her ‘Celestia is never coming back’ policy, and shuts down any pony who even mentions her name! You know her better than anyone in Equestria, Anonymous, so why would you think that she would ever bring Celestia back?”

It’s a tough question to answer, particularly because you’re not entirely sure of the answer, yourself. “You see, the thing is... Nightmare Moon is a very hurt and broken pony.” Judging by the look on her face, you’re not really laying any earth-shattering revelations on Twilight. “Believe it or not, Moony has actually been doing a lot better lately. Now, I know it’s really difficult to ask you to empathize with her, given how you fit into this entire mess, but just... try for a moment, here.”

She gives you a look that implies you’re asking her to do some grand chore, which may actually be closer to the truth than you’d like. After a moment of mental resistance, Twilight gives a small sigh. “Fine...”

You nod in appreciation, thankful that she’s willing to at least entertain you. “Now, I can’t speak for what happened between her and Celestia a thousand years ago since she doesn’t like to talk about it, understandably. From what I’ve gathered from her, she and Celestia had a bit of a falling out, and Nightmare Moon ended up imprisoned within the moon for the last millennia.”

“Alicorns are immortal, though, aren’t they? Nightmare Moon is probably several times older than the amount of years she spent in the moon!”

“Yeah, but a thousand years, Twiggy. That may seem like chump change if we scale it to the lifespan of an immortal being, but that doesn’t mean that the time passes any faster for her. Could you imagine being in solitary confinement for a millennia?”

“She was... aware during that time?” Twilight asks, with what almost sounds like a touch of fear lacing the question.

You nod, solemnly. “From what she told me, yeah, she was aware. She only talked about it once, but mentioned how she could see the world go by. If I had to guess, maybe it was some kind of perception spell to make it seem like she was physically on the moon while she was trapped within it.”

At first it looks as though she wants to dismiss this, but then a look dawns on her. “That... that would be like torture... Solitary confinement is only used as the harshest punishment for the worst of the worst criminals, and even that is only for week-long periods, at most! A thousand years, though? That would... it would...”

“Destroy a pony’s mind?”

Eyes locked into the nethers of space, Twilight swallows as the implication hits. “Y-Yeah...”

Seeing your words having an effect on her, you take your chance to elaborate further. “Given her mental state upon returning to the world of the living after a thousand years, she was... unstable. She may have did some stuff she wouldn’t normally do, and said some crazy things about ‘the night will last forever’ or ‘you will never see Celestia again’ or ‘the exclamation mark is an abomination that shall be abolished’, but I’m pretty certain she didn’t actually mean most of what she said. I mean, hell, just look at how long that ‘eternal night’ thing lasted. I told her that she was being stupid about that, and she took it down after a week!”

“I suppose...” Twilight reluctantly concedes, pawing the floor.

“But,” you continue, “she’s still a very hurt and broken pony. Everyone in the country pretty much either hates her guts or fears them, and she doesn’t have a single friend besides me. She’s in a strange, new Equestria that left her behind a thousand years ago, and she’s struggling to catch up to the times while ruling over some very uncooperative subjects. I think making a friend or two would really help her on the road to recovery, and in doing so, she’d be willing to make amends with you. Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I think the two of you could really hit it off if you looked past all the... ‘her trying to kill you after you tried to fake-bomb her’ thing.”

She thinks about this, but her look hardens again. “And how does that get Celestia back? Are you saying that she’d be willing to go so far as to bring back the single pony she hates the most? All if I become her friend?”

You shrug. “Anything’s possible, right? We all thought that eternal night was gonna be a lot longer than seven days, and look how that turned out. She’s a pony, just like you, Twiggles. She’s capable of realizing her mistakes, and you know what? I’m pretty sure that, deep down, she wants her sister back, too. She’s just still... really hurt, is all. If she had a few more pillars of support in her life right now, she could probably be convinced to forgive her sister, too.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you as Twilight considers this. She looks up to you, and you can see a glimmer of hope in her eyes that was previously absent. “You... really think so?”

“I really do. No grudge lasts forever.” You offer a genuine smile of reassurance.

With a deep breath, Twilight’s resilience finally collapses. “Alright, Anonymous... You’ve convinced me to at least give her a chance. One chance. I will try to make nice with Nightmare Moon, but if she doesn’t show the same courtesy to me, then we’re through. Got it?”

“Me and you can still be friends, though, right?”

An exasperated groan is her only response before she suddenly perks up again. “Wait, where are we even supposed to begin? Nightmare Moon banished me from the palace! She’ll kill me if I show up there!”

“Nah-ah, don’t you worry about that,” you slyly wink. “Let’s just say I’ve got some pull over who gets wasted if a pony makes it onto Nightmare Moon’s shit list. I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.” You take a moment to nurse a particularly sore spot on your side that just decided to flare up with pain. “Plus,” you seethe, “she owes me a favour, too.”

Giving you a glare that suggests that she’s not entirely convinced that you’ll be able to protect her from Luna’s wrath, Twilight nevertheless agrees to go along with you and says her goodbye to Spike, telling him where she’s going and instructing him not to open the door for strangers. She follows you out, and the both of you make your way back to Canterlot Palace.

It would be a bit of a crap shoot, but if your recent experiences with the Moony were anything to go by, it’s that she’s actually a lot softer than she lets on. She’ll probably throw a bit of a shitfit when she sees who you brought with you, but you’ve stopped her from killing Twilight once before, you could do it a second time. Probably. Actually, nah, you’re absolutely sure of it. Just as sure as you are that those shadows in the corner of your vision didn’t just disappear as you crossed the street.

Probably.

*~*~*~*

Author's Note

So after much delay, here it is. If you're wondering what took so long, I'd say that 95% percent of it was caused by laziness/writer's block and the other 5% was caused by "where the hell am I actually going with this"

You see, I have a skeleton plot in my head, but I got caught in the debate of "are the readers going to get pissed off at me if I try adding a bit more 'story' into this 'porn story'?" and "how can I have events go on while not losing focus of the porn aspect, since that's what this really is at the end of the day?"

I really don't know how this will be received, so one way or another, this will be a learning experience.

Stars Extinguished

"...And so I says to him, 'there's just a few things in this life that I don't like mixing, and this is one of them, so get that butterscotch shit AWAY from my cone!'" You say, embellishing the intimidation effect just a little in your favour. "And he's completely tripping over himself trying to fix it because he thinks I'm gonna have a hit put out on him or something if I get mad! Isn't that just hilarious?!"

Twilight does not seem to share your enthusiasm as she looks up to you, face devoid of emotion. "Anon, this wasn't even 10 whole minutes ago. I was standing right beside you." Maintaining her pace by your side, she gives another lick of her semi-devoured frozen dairy treat before she makes a slightly troubled look at you. "...Did you really have to add that awful comment about race-mixing, though?"

Your face becomes deadly serious and you give a small nod. "Sorry, Twiggy, but I really had to. That ice cream colt needed to understand what kind of customer he was dealing with, and I will not be pushed around on matters as important to me as this. Let it not be said that I am a man who lacks convictions!" You state firmly, finger pointing in the air for emphasis. God, you'd be perfect for speeches.

"But... aren't you dating Nightmare Moon? That sort of goes beyond races, and into species-mixing, don't you think?"

Fuck, she's not wrong. "...Let it also be said that I am a man of contradictions. Just eat the damn ice cream..." You retreat into your Supercolt-flavoured ice cream cone, now with a lot less confidence.

Despite the minor setback during your detour to the ice cream parlour, you had taken the chance to bond a little more with Twilight on your way back to the palace. You would have thought that she had been doing more than just researching ways to bring Celestia back, but no, that was actually all she's been doing. You kind of want to make fun of her for it, but the more you think about it, Twilight is basically to Celestia what you are to Luna, and you've already made a massive hypocrite of yourself at least once tonight, so you make it your goal for the rest of the night to cut back on that.

Taking another lick of your ice cream, your mind wanders back to a previous topic. "But anyway, like I was saying before, if you really want to liven up that blatant self-insert porn you're writing, you NEED to add some more horse tits. Seriously, some extra horse tit action could be the one thing that nets you that cult following that every smut-peddler craves."

"Why, though?" Twilight asks, utterly perplexed. "Why teats? Stallions keep going on and on about great pairs of teats they've seen, and it doesn't make any sense to me! They're really not all that great..."

"Look, sometimes it's best not to question these kinds of things, alright? Just capitalize on them. You wanna write the next big 'Fifty Shades of Hay', don't you?"

"No," she huffs in disdain. "Those books were pure trash, and not the kind we're talking about. I could write a better smutty romance novel than that..."

"So now's your chance! Let's face it, you haven't been doing much these days beside, y'know... making absolutely awful revenge schemes against Nightmare." Twilight gives you that irritated look again, but otherwise holds her tongue. "We could write some shitty sex novels together and make a killing! I'm willing to bet there's more than a few horny, lonely housewives out there that eat that kind of thing up. You and me should hang out more."

Though she gives a distasteful groan at the suggestion, you can see the gears turning in her head. She was thinking about it, even if she didn't want to admit it. You like to think that the two of you had some kind of dynamic going on, kind of like how you're the Kramer to her Jerry. You make a note to check to see if she's got anything good in her refrigerator the next time you're over.

Finishing the dessert on top and now nibbling on the cone, Twilight finally speaks again after a silence. "Anon, I know that I haven't known you for a long time, but you really don't seem like an... 'evil' kind of guy. Why side with Nightmare Moon? You could have helped us defeat her, but you sided with her, instead. Why?"

You give that one a little more thought before answering. It's a valid question. Why did you like Nightmare Moon the way you did? It certainly took some mental gymnastics to willingly choose the 'evil' option in a good versus evil situation, but was that all there was to it?

"Because... I think that no matter how clear-cut or black and white something seems, there's always another side to the story. Nightmare Moon didn't just appear out of a vacuum, did she?"

Twilight chews on this, but remains unsatisfied. "Well, the official story says that she became bitter and jealous when ponies worshiped Celestia and the day while shunning her and her night. The fact that she even vowed to make the night last forever lends credence to that theory."

You shrug. "Yeah, but is that alone a reason to go nuclear? The only story that exists about Nightmare Moon was that Mare in the Moon story you read, and that was written after she had been banished. Celestia was the winner of that fight, so maybe she... I dunno, altered or omitted some vital context? History is written by the victor, after all."

Twilight frowns at the idea of her beloved mentor being anything less than perfectly honest and pure. "I don't believe that," she huffs. "I've known Princess Celestia for all my life, and she would never do something like that, especially to her own sister."

"Wouldn't she?" You finish off the last of your cone, savoring its sweetness on your tongue. Yum. "Both her and her sister are thousands of years older than us. Maybe they were different ponies back then? Perhaps Celestia wasn't the paragon of righteousness back then." You mull the possibility in your head some more, genuinely wondering how different the situation a thousand years ago was compared to how it was written. "Like I said, I think there's a whole other layer to this blood feud that we're missing, and having seen what answers the other future brings, I think Nightmare Moon deserves a fair shot, too."

Twilight, likewise finishing her treat, still seems unsatisfied at this. "What could possibly have been left out that justifies what Nightmare Moon did? You would think an important detail like that wouldn't be left out of such a tragic moment in Equestria's history..."

"I wish I could tell you, Twaggy." Heading up the grand steps leading up to the palace, you already feel a cramp setting in as you take the stairs too quick. "Maybe that's something to ask her?"

She gulps nervously, hesitantly following you up. "Let's just hope that they won't be my last words..."

*~*~*~*

Upon entering Canterlot Palace, you couldn't help but notice a few of the guards give you some strange looks. They were probably unaware that the failed terrorist that threatened to vaporize them all would be back within the hour. The only thing keeping Twilight from being dog-piled and arrested by every guard on duty is most likely because she's walking so close beside you, wearing your presence like a protective shield. You were used to the guards respecting your authority, but now the looks they're giving you are just... weird. Maybe they resent you for going against Nightmare Moon's wishes.

Approaching a guard at random, you halt him. "Hey," you hail. "Where's Moony at?"

The guard hesitates, looking at the pony you're bringing as cargo, then back to you. "Queen Moon is in the palace library, Your Excellency. She requested that no one disturb her."

"Awesome," you smile wickedly. "Time to go bug Moon-butt!"

"Sir, I don't think-" The guard looks over to Twilight, his face hardening slightly in disdain.

"Yeahyeahyeah," you abruptly cut the Lunar soldier off, "she's all cranky and shit as usual, and will probably lose her shit since I'm bringing Twily, here..." Twilight's face goes red at the use of her pet name that only family called her. "But... I'm me, so you know I'm just gonna go see her anyway."

The guard pony remains stoic for a moment longer before breaking the silence. "...Yes, sir. I won't stop you, Your Excellency, but I would just advise caution. Guard strength on castle grounds is lower than usual right now, and we don't have the numbers to stop Her Royal Highness should she decide to... do something rash."

"Advisement noted, soldier." You nod towards Twilight, signalling her to follow you. "We're gonna be doing some serious friendship exercises, so tell your section to steer clear of the library for an hour or two, alright?" With purple pony scampering beside you as you leave the company of the guard, the two of you make off for the direction of the library.

Looking around, you can why Twilight wants to stick so close. After that scene in the throne room, the last place she wants to be is in this palace, far away from the one person keeping her protected. As you walked, more guards moved about the palace, regularly passing the two of you on their way to whatever their destination was. You didn't envy their job. They looked busier than you would like to be on a weekend.

Approaching the doors for the palace library, you don't bother knocking as you make your way inside. Your guest, who was previously looked unnerved and shaken, now appears to be at ease as she finds herself in her natural habitat. Tall bookcases packed with hundreds, if not thousands of books, surround you, just waiting to be opened up and unleash the knowledge they contain all over your face.

Casually strolling through the main aisle way, you continue on your path to where you know you'll find Luna. Sure enough, the black queen herself is sitting on her haunches at a desk facing away from you. Right in front of her is one of the largest windows in the castle, capturing the stunning view of what lies North of Canterlot. Though difficult to see at night, a faint outline of the mountain ranges on the horizon could be seen from here. The moon and stars are framed perfect for what must be one of the most breathtaking spots to study in the entire country. Really, who could concentrate on books with a view like THAT?

Luna certainly could. She remains fixated on what appears to be a scroll of some sort sprawled across her workspace. About a dozen other books lay at either side of her, presumably one pile was 'books that have been scoured' and the other was 'books that have yet to be scoured'. Your footsteps are silent on the luxurious red carpet, and she doesn't seem to be alerted to your presence. If Twilight hadn't crossed a point of no return yet, she definitely has now.

"Anonymous, what have We told thou about interrupting us during our investigation?" Nightmare does not even look up from the scroll she's reading.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Because you are the only one with the testicular fortitude to dare defy Our explicit instruction." She says, with just a touch of annoyance in her tone.

You smirk a little. As cruel as it seemed, pushing her buttons was kinda fun. "What are you gonna do? Execute me?" You scoff. "You'd miss me."

"We never-" She finally looks back at you, and then immediately freezes as the sight of Twilight Sparkle hiding pathetically behind your legs enters her vision. You could swear that a lightning storm of fury had just formed, judging by the fire that seems to have taken the place of her eyes. "WHAT... IS SHE DOING HERE?!"

Behind you, the tiniest "eep." could be heard.

"Oh, her?" You smile obliviously, "this is my new friend, Twilight Sparkle! Say 'hello', Twilight!"

"I'm gonna die a virgin."

Luna doesn't seem interested in friendly greetings, however. "YOU BROUGHT THIS HEDGE-PROWLING PUTERELLE TO OUR PALACE AFTER WE BANISHED HER FROM THESE WALLS FOREVER?!" Her murderous glare falls squarely on the mare cowering pathetically behind you. "SO SOON AFTER WE SHOW YOU MERCY FOR A SECOND TIME, YOU SPIT IT BACK IN OUR FACE!"

Her's is not the only face being spat in as you give your cheek a quick wipe.

"ANONYMOUS, YOU ARE TO TEACH US THIS 'WATERBOARDING' TORTURE THAT YOU HAVE SPOKEN ABOUT! REMAIN HERE WHILE WE RETRIEVE THE BUCKET-"

"Moony, relax for just a second." You finally intervene, hoping that maybe the chance to yell a bit is enough for her to vent. "I invited her here, and as I just said, she's a friend now."

"A FRIEND?!" She recoils as if you just verbally slapped her across the muzzle. "Has't thou gone mad, Anonymous?! Did'st thou suffer a severe cranial injury in the short time you were away from Us?!"

Giving a quick glance behind you, Twilight is shaking like a leaf and looks like she's one more angry Moony shout away from pissing on the carpet. Who could blame her, though? She knows that the only thing standing between her and a gruesome, Nightmare-styled death would be you, which is where you literally find yourself at this very moment. Twilight is a friend, though, so shielding her from the love of your life is something you don't mind doing.

"Moony, let's take a step back, here..." You breathe, just a little bit nervous that her temper won't hold. "I went to go speak to Twilight after you sent her away to try to figure out why she did what she did. It turns out that she may have not been... completely unjustified in her anger at us, so I wanted to go and lay the groundwork for some mutual apologies to try to smooth things over between all of us."

Nightmare's visage of frothing rage morphs into something of bewilderment as she gives it a quick shake, as if to make sure she's not dreaming. "UNJUST-? APOL-?! Aha... You must be making a terrible jest if you think that We have any interest in 'smoothing things over' or apologizing to this mare!" Her gaze hardens at you, hinting at her own displeasure at you, specifically. "The fact that you are defending her is baffling, and frankly, We feel somewhat betrayed!"

"So you won't even give her a chance? You're just going to throw her away as a lost cause and not even try to understand why she did what she did? Maybe even try to find some common ground with her?"

"Absolutely not!" Nightmare seethes. "After what she did to Us, she is irredeemable in Our eyes. You witnessed her actions for yourself, and you were even a target of her treachery! We had banished her from this palace for eternity, and you bring her back, defend her, and call her your 'friend'?! Explain this madness, Anonymous!"

Deep down inside, you're a little disappointed that the irony is lost on Luna. Maybe it was the unpredictable burst of frustration and anger that a thousand years of not being able to vent on anyone causes. The kind of madness where you believe that a tragedy is custom-made for you, and can be experienced by no one else. Call it denial. Maybe the circumstances shared between the two of them right now were more in common than Luna cared to admit, particularly to herself.

"You know, back when we first started this thing, and I helped you conquer Equestria, they asked me that same thing, almost word-for-word."

The dark queen scoffs. "What in the unholy hells are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about all those ponies out there," you point in the general direction of Canterlot. "After it happened, after the sun didn't come up. They all saw me with you, and they talked to me when you weren't around. They asked me why I sided with you, why I defended you. They asked me why, when a wicked, evil mare from the moon came to Equestria to shroud the land in eternal night, why I chose to help her, stand by her, and defend her. An evil mare who nobody wanted had shown up and replaced their beloved sun princess, and the ponies wanted her gone. They didn't want to hear her side of things, they didn't even want to give her a chance. They wanted the Elements of Harmony to banish her back to the moon where she belonged."

Nightmare has no words for you, in fact, she looks like she had chosen to eat her own. Something of no importance seemed to draw her eyes off to the side, no longer able to meet yours, which was enough of a confirmation that you needed.

"They asked all asked me why in the ever-living fuck I chose to do the exact opposite thing that should have been done, and you know what I told them?" You continue with invigorated intent, "I told them that I did it because I had heard the story of what happened to her, and I thought that it was bullshit. I told them that I thought there was a reason she was angry, that there must have been a good reason for why she was doing what she was doing, and she deserved the chance for her grievances to be understood, instead of just being tossed into the trashcan of irrelevancy for another thousand years. I stood up for you because I believed that you deserved that chance. I believed that your side DESERVED to be heard, and that maybe you could defy everyone's expectations of you if given that chance."

Giving a cursory glance back, you can see that Twilight is somewhat more at ease as your argument sinks in with the dark mare opposite the both of you, a bit more convinced that she is no longer about to be viciously gored.

"Was I wrong?" You ask rhetorically, folding your arms. "Should you have just been banished back without a second thought? Was I right to step up to your defense? Here I am, standing up in Twilight's defense. Does she not deserve the same kind of chance that you got? If you can't see some parallels here, then... I don't know if I can look at you the same way I did back then."

Nightmare Moon remains silent as the words hit her. They must have at least some kind of effect on her, now that she looked less like a ready-to-pounce tiger aiming directly at a Twilight Sparkle-shaped lamb. You meant what you said, though, even if you did love her with all your heart, but it really needed to be said. If anything, her position so close to your heart is what made it all the more important. You sympathized with Luna, but it troubled you slightly to see her so quick to subject another to basically the same unjust treatment she had received. That shit's not gonna fly if you have anything to say about it.

With Twilight fully emerged from behind the barrier of safety that was your legs, you're satisfied that the figurative ball has started rolling in the quest to achieve peace between the two troubled souls in the room. The biggest obstacle had been addressed and bypassed, in your opinion, and now how their relationship would go would depend on them.

"Excellent!" You exclaim, bringing your hands together in a clap. "So with that in mind, I'll now leave you two alone to talk it out and become good friends! Lemme know later how it goes."

"W-what?!"

"WHAT?!"

Heading towards the same door you entered through, you nearly make it as your hand makes contact with the handle before two voices desperately call out and attempt to stop you cold.

"Y-you can't leave me alone with her! She'll KILL me!"

"Thou cannot seriously expect Us to make friends with her! Has't thou lost all sense?!"

"W-we can't be friends, she's a very angry mare and hates my guts!"

"We cannot become friends, for We art FURIOUS and We despise her entrails!"

"She's gonna KILL ME."

"We shall ERADICATE her!"

"ENOUGH!" You shout, sharply spinning from your position at the door. "E-FUCKING-NOUGH! You're both trying to make some very petty excuses to weasel out of this and it's really starting to piss me off!" You seethe, your temper finally reaching a boiling point after calm persuasion has apparently failed. "You don't have to become friends by the end of this, but you're sure as FUCK going to try, end of discussion. You both owe me in some way, you," your gaze points to Twilight, "because I saved your life, and you," then to Nightmare, "because I helped you conquer the country and because you beat the shit out of me with tennis balls earlier!"

One of the mares raises a hoof as if to protest further, but you shut her down hard with a firm stare. "No more excuses, no more bullshit, you two are going to sit in here and make an honest attempt to bond and become friends! Now, when I come back, I better see some hugging or... merry-making or some shit like that!"

Without even giving them a chance to get a word in edgewise, you open the door, slip out, then slam it behind you, leaving the two mares inside to begin their fantastic friendship bonding session. You lean back into it, expecting to hear shouting erupt from the other side at any moment, but it never comes. The fact that 12 seconds had just passed and you hadn't heard a loud boom or bloodcurdling scream was a good enough omen for you to give a sigh of relief. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you had not a clue if those two would actually be able to see past their differences to actually become anything other than mortal enemies, but at least now there was a small shot.

"Your Excellency?"

So preoccupied were you with burying your face into your hands, you didn't even notice the light grey unicorn stallion in Lunar Guard armour approach you. It was a pretty open hallway, too. What a sneaky bastard. The expression he wore seemed grim.

"WHOA- What- What is it? Who the hell are you and what do you want?" You sputter, gathering yourself for this new interaction. Further behind the stallion, you could see another guard who appeared to be napping on the job. Lazy piece of shit! "Why the hell is that guard behind you asleep?!"

The unicorn glances back before quickly returning to face you. "Master Corporal Sterling Silver, Sir, and he's not asleep, Sir, I killed him. Is Queen Moon in the library?" He signals his body forward as if he intends to move past you to check, as if he didn't just casually admit to fratricide.

"Whoa, WHOA, what the fuck?! You killed him?!"

"Yes, Sir, I did. I really must speak with Queen Nightmare Moon, we have... an emergency on our hooves." He seems completely nonchalant as he simply states that he had just slaughtered a fellow brother-in-arms as though it were a chore like taking out the trash. Looking back over to the deceased, you're a little surprised that you failed to notice the pool of blood that he is currently laying in, as well as the multiple crossbow bolts protruding from his head and neck area.

"Emerg-? What?! What the hell's going on?! A-alright, look, Nightmare Moon is very busy with an important task right now, and is not to be disturbed! I'm her 2nd in Command, so whatever tomfuckery is going on, you can tell me, and I can handle it!" You all but shout as things seemed to be getting more fucked every time this pony opens his mouth. "First, tell me why in the hell you killed that guard over there!" You spout, baffled, while pointing a finger towards the dearly departed.

The pony remains silent for a moment, eyes never straying from yours, but his face goes stoic, betraying no kind of emotion or motive.

"About that, Sir... There's an enemy force that has infiltrated the palace and is conducting a sabotage and/or assault operation with Lunar and Royal Guard uniforms. Casualties are high, palace security has been compromised, and we're currently under attack."

"Oh." You respond casually, giving several firm nods in understanding. "Coolio."

That's a lot of stuff to happen behind your back during the 15 minutes you've been occupied in the library after walking into a perfectly-fine, not-being-raided palace. Physically, you suck in a breath in and casually brush your hair back as it's time for you to do your job.

Mentally, you shit yourself on the spot.

*~*~*~*

In your long life, you've been subject to many temptations. More so than the average mare, you would think. With your great age has come great discipline and skill at delaying gratification in the interest in more long-term goals.

Right now, however, temptation was a hungry beast, ready to utterly consume you in the desire to pick up the mare in front of you, hurl her out the window at terminal velocity, and wait patiently for her to send you a postcard from the Crystal Empire... if it's even been found yet. The hunger panged firmly, but you would yet hold strong in the desperate struggle to not brutally murder this unicorn. Boyfriend dearest had requested that she not be slain, so you'll do little more than stare figurative daggers into her as opposed to filling her with actual ones.

Your beloved in question has trapped you in the room with this... wretch. Though she does not appear to be any happier about it than you are, she is right to have that look of terror on her face, as if she has just been thrown into a locked cage with a hungry wolf.

The purple whore looks awkwardly around, possibly scanning for an escape route, before stupidly opening her oxygen-thieving maw. "S-so, uhh... how's... stuff?"

"Oh, for the love of-, if THAT is your introductory offering for this exchange of platonic bonding, then We are in for a long, fruitless session, indeed." If your eyes rolled any harder, you would scraping them out of the inside of your helmet.

"Well, at least I'm trying!" She spouts, growing something of a spine. "What have you got to offer, then?"

Your face crumples as you formulate a response in your head. You've sat through many a forced conversations, diplomatic negotiations, and insufferable dinners, so creating dialogue was something of an art for you. You'll show this whelp how a real mare starts a conversation...

...Before you realize that you have nothing. Hundreds upon hundreds of years length of conversation just up and vanishes from you at this critical moment, leaving you with more than just metaphorical egg on your face, but your pride caught up in your throat, as well.

"Hmph. That's what I thought." The little tramp huffs with some kind of undeserved sense of smugness. "If this really means so much to Anonymous, then we owe it to him to actually try, like he said."

The way she talks about your lover as if she knows him, as if she did, in fact, care whether he lived or died just mere hours ago when she pulled him into her hypothetical suicide strike, sends a paralyzing wave of fury through you. At this point, you had thought that nothing more that this mare said could get to you, but you had lied to yourself. At best, you were temporarily dead, with the lightning bolt of her newfound 'friendship' with Anonymous reanimating you. A rude awakening was an understatement of what you were going through, now.

"And, why, pray tell, do you feel as though you owe anything at all to Anonymous?" The venom drips from your voice like the droplets of an ice-cold contempt being melted by a white-hot rage.

"Because, like he said," she casually replies, either oblivious or emboldened against your furious glare. "He's my friend. He helped me out of that... 'unpleasant' situation earlier, so now I feel like I owe him. Now, I'm no expert when it comes to friendship, but I believe that a good part of it means repaying the favour when a friend does something kind for you."

"I see," you huff. It was extremely hard to tell if this mare truly felt any kind of comradery with Anonymous or if she was just simply using her life debt to him to justify her being here. Then again, she was just as displeased as you were at the task that your lover had assigned to the both of you, so that spoke to some small degree to her own motives.

Twilight paws at the floor awkwardly, looking around, anxious about making direct eye contact. "I know we sort of... got off on the wrong hoof, to put it lightly, but do you think maybe we could set that aside and start fresh? You're not the kind to hold grudges, are you?"

"You are asking if We, a mare who has reaped vengeance and conquered these lands after a thousand years of imprisonment, hold onto our grievances?"

"Alright, I get it! But how about just this once?! For Anon!" She pleads, her face looking unexpectedly... genuine.

Once again, she uses your beloved's intentions against you. You hated it. You hated her. You hated that she was right. Anonymous wanted you to do this, and she knew that you could not turn down a request from him. Damn her, and damn Anonymous for making you do this.

"UuuuARGgHH...!! VERY WELL!" You bellow, eyes drilling into the skull of this mare with the fury of all of your stars. The muscles on your face are telling you that there's supposedly a mad grin adorning it, though you very much doubt the sincerity of it. "Let us... merry-make." You fight back a torrent of bile that threatens to eject from you.

"Excellent!" Twilight happily exclaims. Her enthusiasm for this both disgusts and perplexes you, but mostly just disgusts. "Well, uh... Where should we begin?" She pauses for a moment, bringing a hoof to her chin as she ponders a subject for the two of you to bond over.

You would rather be back within the moon right now.

"Oh, I know! I like to read, mostly books on history and learning about magic. In fact, it's even my special talent! What do you like to do?"

You pause, formulating a response that spoke with the utmost sincerity from your cold, bitter heart. "Our special talent is raising the moon and governing the stars that cascade the night sky. Our most favoured pastimes include decorating the starscape, leading soldiers into battle, hunting vicious creatures such manticores and dragons, and executing criminals." You took pride in what you did, but judging by the blank stare on Twilight's face, your hobbies are not shared. "We also enjoy miniature golf."

"Oh." She states flatly. You mentally pat yourself on the withers for your expertly delivered save. "Well, uh... I'm no athlete or tough soldier, I sort of struggled with Physical Education during school..."

"Mmm, yes. Upon Our first meeting, you did appear fatter than We expected..."

"HOWEVER... I have dabbled a bit in astronomy throughout the years, so I think that's at least something we can share common ground with. I've had a lot of study sessions go long into the night, and star gazing just kind of became a hobby that I didn't even notice I was taking interest in."

You blink suddenly in astonishment. Astronomy had been a very niche practice at the time of your exile. Had it really become more wide-spread during your absence? You had to admit, you've fallen out of practice after such a long time, and some of your more obscure constellations have since slipped through your memory. You barely had a chance to properly decorate your night sky since your return. A total coup of Equestria's head of state had resulted in a seemingly never-ending accumulation of paperwork, leaving you too exhausted to do little more than the necessary motions of moon set before collapsing into your sun-themed bed.

"Truly?" You inquire, raising an eyebrow. With that simple comment, this mare had graduated from your fury to your curiosity. "Do you... have a favourite constellation, by any chance?"

"Yup! Taurus." She smiles. "My mom told me that my birth date falls under it, so I sort of latched onto that one as my favourite. I also like to keep an eye out for Pegasus and the Star Swirl, though it's kind of hard to see from Canterlot with all the light pollution."

Your mind jolts, like you just been slapped upside the head. For the first time in nearly twelve hundred years, one of your subjects was talking with you about your dearest stars. Memories of you placing each light in the sky so precisely, with no expense for the most minute of detail, it comes flooding back to you. It took you back to simpler times, happier ones. It seemed too surreal, for this to be coming out of the pony you currently despise most in this world, but there was no hint of insincerity in her voice. It wasn't enough to make you like this mare, not nearly enough.

But it was a start.

"We... are rather fond Taurus, Ourselves. We believe it to be one of Our finer works of art." Not finest, though. That honour belonged to a different set of stars. "You are leagues more privy to Our work than Our subjects were a thousand years ago. We must admit, had circumstances been different, you would be most welcome in Our company had you been alive back then."

Twilight's face suddenly turns downtrodden, she bites her lower lip, looking off to the side. "Is that why you... you know?"

The mare puzzles you. "Why We what? Speak clearly, child."

"Why you rebelled against Celestia? Because ponies weren't enjoying your night like they did her day?" She appears to be visibly holding her breath after asking such a forward, pointed question. She was right to do so.

The mare had some nerve, bringing up your sister. It angered you, knowing ponies were still thinking of Celestia. You wished for them to forget about her as quickly as they had forgotten about you. It wasn't a fair expectation, but the heart is rarely concerned with what could be considered reasonable and rational.

Showing personal restraint, you refrain from viciously biting back at her. "No, it is not. Our reasons for Our feud with Celestia ran deeper than a petty jealousy over whose sky Our subjects liked more." The burning feeling in your chest begins to flare with the thoughts of your sister creeping in your mind. "Celestia has done enough against Us to earn Our hatred and disownment, notwithstanding the fact that she was willing to banish Us for all of eternity. She was a self-centered, manipulative mare and a HORRID sister to Us. May she rot as We did for all We care!"

Your words cut Twilight like shards of glass. "She wouldn't- She's not like that. I've known-..." She was hurt by how you talked of your sister. More than it hurt you, most likely.

"You've known Celestia for how long, child? Two decades? We have known her for Our entire life. How did you know her to be, then? Gentle? Motherly? All-caring? You would be a fool to believe that she was always the mare you knew her as."

She wants to fight you on that claim, but she knows she doesn't have a leg to stand on. It was hard to question the only other living being who's been around her for as long as she's been alive. Celestia was a touchy subject for you, but it was bound to come up, especially when dealing with her former student of all ponies. Celestia has this girl wrapped around her hoof, so you honestly couldn't expect to shatter the perfect, idealistic image of her former mentor with just a few venomous words and jaded comments. In the end, Twilight would just be another subject among the hundreds of thousands who would continue to worship the ground that Celestia once walked on. Time passes, and nothing changes.

"No, that's not true!" She blurts, still in denial. "She wouldn't banish her sister forever, the spell only lasted a thousand years! She must have known that. She's not cruel!"

You scoff a little in derision. "We are surprised at you, young Sparkle. For someone as well-researched and sharp-eyed such as yourself, We are shocked that a subtle detail managed to slip past you."

"Wha-? What detail? What are you talking about? I read the legend of The Mare in the Moon over and over at least a dozen times looking for clues!" She twitches, annoyed.

This entire friend-making endeavor was going about poorly as to be expected. With a heavy sigh, you turn your body in the opposite direction and gesture with your head for your unwelcome guest to follow. Wordlessly, Twilight Sparkle falls in behind you as the two of you wander back over to the corner of the library you had inhabited before being disturbed.

The desk in front of the large window facing North made up the entirety of your personal research station. Dozens upon dozens of books lay on top of it, some piled high on the floor beside it. You had ordered the librarians who worked here not to clean off the desk, nor reshelve any of the books you had procured for your research. An order which they followed with the utmost obedience. The desktop was crowded with so many books that it was a constant struggle make enough room to fully open one and set it down, but you made due. The particular research you were doing was too important for ridiculous accommodations or compromises such as desk space.

Next to the desk was a podium, a book that you had recently retrieved lay upon it, its pages open to where you had left off, the information you had sought from it now extracted and dissected. Stepping up to the tome, you flip back the pages before landing on the specific one that you had felt highlighted your sister's treachery. Looking back to the perplexed unicorn, you step back from the stand.

Twilight gives you a look mired in doubt as she approaches the book. She regards the images on the page momentarily before reading aloud.

"Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known to ponydom: the Elements of Harmony. Using the magic of the Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister, and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for both the sun and moon, and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since."

Hearing it once again for the umpteenth time only annoys you slightly less at this point. Knowing that this was all that your subjects knew of you and your struggle for the past millennia drove a new sense of annoyance into you, like a pebble that's been in your shoe for years.

"Now tell Us, does anything within that text contradict what you've just claimed about Celestia? A particular word, perhaps?"

She continues to stare at the text, eyes searching for that magic word. Her mind racing to decipher the passage in front of her, looking for something she may have missed, before it finally hits her.

You were meant to be banished permanently within the moon. You were never meant to come back.

She blinks, as if doubting what she sees, before she swallows. "O-oh. I-... I don't think..." Her eyes stay glued to the text in front of her, locked on that one particular word. Hiding in plain sight, giving a whole new level context to your imprisonment, and your hatred for Celestia.

"You do not think what?" You say, taking only little joy in casting doubt on Celestia's pristine image. "You do not think Celestia would be so cruel as to lock up her own sister and throw away the key?"

Twilight has no words for you.

One of the first things you had done upon your return was scour the royal archives for any information on you that may have survived over the centuries, to find out how much the common pony knew about Equestria's former princess. What you had found had sent a flurry of emotions through you. Anger. Disgust. Shock. Disbelief.

Hurt. Agony. Betrayal.

There was nothing. No longer were you even mentioned in the history books, but now the only memory of you that remained was an old mare's tale called The Mare in the Moon, which told of how your sister had imprisoned you within the moon forever, to the population's rejoice. Celestia knew of this book, there was no way she couldn't. She knew how the events were written here to a gross oversimplification in her favour, and she approved of it.

Celestia had sanctioned your removal from history and had reduced you to a boogeymare for scared foals to sacrifice sweets to on a yearly basis.

For the last millennia, it had been your burning anger that had kept you going, driving you towards your goal. For the last few weeks, you had worried that you had begun losing your focus, your will beginning to deteriorate as you doubted whether you truly wanted Celestia gone. All it had taken was a stark reminder of what she and her cronies had done to you for your rage to be renewed. You felt the rise of that old, familiar feeling. You hated it.

You welcomed it.

"It was the stars that had aided in Our escape." You seethe. "Our stars. Not Celestia's design."

With a swift thud, Twilight slams the book closed, no longer wanting to look at the story of her mentor's triumph, and what it implied. Seeing this, you decide to stay your tongue. Nothing more needed to be said on the matter, your point had been made. What Twilight would do with this new perspective gained from her revelation remained to be seen.

She's strangely silent, a thousand questions undoubtedly racing through her head. She fidgets uncomfortably, looking around the room, looking for an escape from the earthquake that had just shaken the largest foundation in her life.

She finds one.

"What's that?"

Your eyes follow hers and land squarely upon the mural on the wall that you have spent the past few weeks constructing. Spanning nearly half of the library's wall, it was a bit surprising she hadn't asked about it sooner. The librarians almost certainly did not appreciate you decorating the way you have, but they wisely held their tongues.

A web of pictures, names, and symbols covered the library wall, red lines connecting them all in some way. From the top, a neat row of names and images became a little more scattered as they branched downwards into new ones. Some of the chains ended fairly shortly, while others managed to continue all the way to the floor.

"This," you speak calmly, "is... a mystery of Our own undertaking."

"It kind of looks like a family tree." Squinting further at the grand chart, Twilight's eyes widen a bit. "I know some of these names. Starlit Path was an explorer fifteen hundred years ago, she was one of the first ponies to navigate The Badlands and make it back! Homebrew was one of, if not the father of modern alchemy... There's even Silver Tongue, the legendary playwright and actor! These are all famous, historical ponies on here!"

"Almost. Not all, however," you say, smiling sadly as you, yourself regard each of the faces adorning the wall. "You are correct in that some of these ponies left their mark on history. Others, however, lived more mundane lives."

Twilight continues scanning, searching for more names. She seems somewhat breathtaken by the vastness of it all, scouring for what could possibly connect all of these historic figures.

She suddenly freezes, her face scrunching up. "Is this... actually a family tree?" She asks quizzically.

"Indeed." You say, plainly. "It is Ours."

Twilight's eyes threaten to bulge from her head at this as she does a double-take. "Y-yours?!" She blurts. "B-but- but how?!"

"These ponies here, at the top?" You point up to the top row for emphasis. "Their parentage is mysteriously absent. If the records hadn't been erased, edited, or fabricated, you would be able to trace the lineage of all of these ponies back to Us. We have been alive for a long time, young Sparkle, and We have birthed many foals. They were the brightest stars in Our life. Some of which strove to shine brighter, and went on to accomplish many great things, leaving their mark for history to remember them forever by." After moment, your own words catch up to you, causing a small laugh. "How ironic," you mutter under your breath.

You could tell that Twilight is fit to burst with the questions she now holds by the way she frantically scans back and forth, unable to decide who to even begin with. She then slows down, noticing something out of place for more than a few of the spots on the tree. She frowns.

"Wait, this... doesn't make sense." Her eyes now point towards the bottom of the tree, noticing an abrupt stop. "Why does it end so suddenly down here? There's a lot missing..."

Throughout the tree, several pictures hang with a large red 'X' crossed over their visage. Every red 'X' you looked at haunted you. Taunted you. Begged you to find the answer behind it. It was the mystery that had taken you, and ripped you apart a thousand years ago, making you into the mare you are today. As the tree flows downwards, more and more red crosses marking your deceased children appear. Finally, you come to the very bottom. A line of X-es forms along the wall, staining it with their blood.

Your blood.

"Our children did not live forever," you croak, a horrible lump caught up in your throat. "Nearly all of them lived long enough to start their own families. However, where those families ended, you can clearly see."

Gesturing to the red marks, Twilight now notices that they indicate the death of the final member or members of a generation, before they had beared any foals. From the top, there were relatively few of them. Clearly, these families had prospered and lived to have foals of their own, then grandfoals, and great-grandfoals. Suddenly, however, it become clear that every single one of the chains eventually ends the same way: with a grim, red X. The bottom-most part of the tree contains the most of these deathly markers, the last, most recent members of your bloodline had all evidently met untimely ends before ushering forth the next generation.

Twilight does not appear to be convinced. "This doesn't seem right. If this family tree is accurate, then... none of these families have any living descendants today? No, That can't be right... That can't be possible, there's too many for all of these bloodlines to just go extinct!"

It brings you some small amount of comfort knowing that you are not the only one who notices something is amiss when tracing the fate of your children's children. So long ago, it had just seemed like coincidence after coincidence. Horrible, freak tragedy after tragedy had taken your precious stars from you. You began to sense that something was not right behind the long string of deaths, a play most foul, you suspected. You nearly drove yourself insane trying to figure it out. You did drive yourself insane.

You left no stone unturned in your search for the truth, your suspicions constantly clawing at your mind, shouting at you the obvious answer. You couldn't find anything conclusive, though. Reopening these old wounds had driven you back to the insanity you had succumb to a thousand years ago. You didn't want to go through it all again. You couldn't go through it all again. You would just have to live with the knowledge that those most dear to you had been murdered right under your muzzle, and the culprit had gotten away with it. Nothing left of you but your battered, broken body and mind had survived to the present day. Everyone and everything else had been washed away into the river of time.

You had tried to move past it, forget about it, edit it out. You couldn't escape it, though. The more you had tried to run from it, the angrier, more terrible it grew within your mind, Its edges yawned at your hooves. Knowing that you would never be content to simply let it go, your only chance was to turn around and face it. Your wounds would never heal if you couldn't find the answers, but uncovering them was like looking down into the grave of your loves.

Or kissing the mouth of a crossbow, a bolt trembling in its spring-loaded perch, ready to blow your head off.

And so, a thousand years later, your search had begun again. For weeks you've spent tracing family records, building trees, and discovering where they ended. Some of them were cut short inexplicably, some due to natural causes, and others under more... dubious circumstances.

You see Twilight still completely glued to the chart before you. She mutters to herself, pointing a hoof at a particular section that she seems to be enchanted with.

"Wait," she perks up suddenly, "what's this? Right here at the bottom? Everyone else is crossed out, but why isn't this one?" She gestures to the far end of the red divide, to the one picture in the far corner that has not been defaced with red ink. An Earth pony stallion by the name of Emerald Spotter.

"This, is where We had left off in Our research into this matter," you explain. "He is Our final lead. As of three hundred years ago, he the last remaining descendant to carry Our blood. We have yet to delve into his family records to discover his fate, but if the others are anything to go by, then We believe him to be the final link of Our bloodline."

"That's a little pessimistic," Twilight quips. "Who knows? What if he lived long enough to have a family? What if they lived, too? That could mean..."

"That somewhere, somepony with a very distant relation to Us still lives. Who could it be, We wonder?" Tapping your chin, you draw an inquisitive look to the purple unicorn next to you. "Why, it very well could be you, young Sparkle, who turns out to be Our long-lost descendant!"

Her eyes go wide as the implication hits her. "W-what?! Well, I mean- I guess, maybe there's an EXTREMELY small possibil- That's-..." She trails off before giving a shudder at the thought of being related to you. The little harlot should be in awe at the possibility of being a part of your legacy.

"Hmph. Calm your nerves, you little foal. As you say, it is very unlikely that is the case. Even still, it is a complete mystery if this pony even lived long enough to sire foals before whoever claimed the rest of Our descendants snuffed him from existence, as well." Your heart told you that there was a very real chance, that if his family had gone on for so much longer than the longest surviving line before them, that he could have very well sired the next generation to continue on. Logic told you to take a look at end of every road you see before you to know exactly how he had most likely ended up.

The heart was such a liar.

"Who, though?" Twilight questions, sounding strangely concerned about what she's just seen. "How could something like this even be managed? This is... a systematic extermination of entire families! This is stopping a bloodline dead in its tracks we're talking about, here!" Her concern touches you. For the first time in a long time, someone cared. "Who could have done this? Why would they do this?"

You look over to Twilight, and for the first time, you don't see a brainwashed mare completely and happily subjugated to the will of your sister. You see a mare who has noticed a horrific crime that has been covered up with a thousand years of smoke and mirrors, and wants to find the truth behind it. Almost as badly as you do. Perhaps there was some common ground to be had with this mare, after all.

Twilight notices your stare, and then frowns. "And DON'T you say that Celestia was behind all this, because even after what I just read, I absolutely refuse to believe that she would murder her sister's children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. That it COMPLETELY outside the realm of possibility." The stamps her hoof to make her point on this, her faith in Celestia would likely never be completely broken.

"In Our experience, nothing is ever outside the realm of possibility, young Sparkle." Even if it's for the wrong mare, a part of you can appreciate her devout loyalty. You turn your head back towards the tree. "Tell us, does the name 'Sun's Soldiers' mean anything to you?"

She tilts her head, contemplating this. "I... think so? I may have seen that name once or twice in some forgotten history texts. There's not a whole lot about them, though. They used to be some kind of secret society, I think, thousands of years ago. They were some of Celestia's elite personal bodyguards before disbanding and being absorbed into the Royal Guard about eight hundred years ago. Apparently they carried out high-risk missions for the princess, but other than that, there's not a whole lot that I could find about them."

You nod. "You are correct. The Sun's Soldiers was the colloquial term for the Solar Zealots, or Celestia's Inner Circle of her most fanatical followers. They operated with the utmost secrecy, with the purpose of undermining anyone who posed a threat to her complete and total authority." You look back to Twilight, who is engrossed at learning something new.

She raises an eyebrow at you. "They served Celestia... but Celestia served Equestria, along with you. Doesn't that make you all on the same side?"

You give a small chortle. "As you just said, they served Celestia. Their fanatical devotion was to her only. You must first understand that the Inner Circles did not typically attack in a traditional sense, mind you. They sought to undermine Celestia's opposition by weakening them in any way that they could. This could be through providing misinformation, psychological warfare, false-flag attacks, assassinations... Anything to put anyone who was not her into a lower position of power."

Twilight's face hardens, still unsure. "That still doesn't explain why she would send them after you, though. The two of you ruled together. How could the two of you rule Equestria with one of you constantly subjected to that kind of subversion?"

"That brings Us to the other aspect of the Zealots. Not every act they committed was carried out with Celestia's blessing, or even her knowledge. Their primary directive was to ensure the supremacy of her rule, which they accomplished through subversion of all that posed a threat to it, her own sister's authority included. They carried out many of her orders in the interest of protecting Equestria," you admit, with some chagrin. "Though, they also acted many a times without her sanction, in the interest of growing and preserving her influence, and her influence alone."

Finally, Twilight managed to put the pieces together. "And you think... they were behind this?"

"We believe it to be almost certain. They are the only group who could coordinate such an act against Us, with their position so close to Celestia granting them all of the information of Our children that they needed." You had never felt more betrayed when you realized that the most faithful servants of your sister were the likely culprits of your childrens' murders. "Who gained from the demise of Our children? Our legacy? With Our reaction that followed, Celestia certainly did."

The implication hits Twilight square in the face, even harder than before. "N-no! Surely, you don't think that she-?!"

You want to say 'yes.' You would give anything for the answer to be as simple as that. No longer would it just be a fury that filled your entire being, but it would be a righteous one. An immediate justification for everything you've done leading up to this point, a pointed 'TOLD YOU!' to all of your subjects who doubted you with fear, contempt, or just plain indifference.

You want to so badly... but you can't.

"On that, We are uncertain," you say, simply. "The truth in the matter is... Celestia constantly hid the truth from Us, and We constantly lied to Celestia. Tensions grew, and We hurt each other. There was a significant... animosity between Us at the time. If We had asked her, she would have most certainly denied relaying such a heinous order to her Inner Circle, however..." You sigh, still just as unsure about it now as you were back then. "We would not be certain if she were telling the truth or not."

Twilight shakes her head, not wanting to believe this. "No... there's no way she would order them to do something like that. Not a chance! There's got to be some other explanation to this..."

"Perhaps, perhaps not. She may not have commanded it, per se... though she may have implicitly allowed it." Anger bubbles within you, threatening to boil over just as it occurs to you how many of the tragedies in your life that Celestia must have 'allowed', the plausible deniability giving her free reign to bring your entire life around you with little more than a feigned shocked expression and deceptive, two-faced 'who, me?' The prime testament to this now rests on a podium not three feet from you.

"Just as she allowed this wretched filth to be written and all that remains of Us!" You spit, using your telekinesis to take hold of last remaining written work in Equestria that references you before hurling it away with a considerable force. The hardcover book collides with a loud BANG, leaving a rather sizable hole in the drywall.

Twilight recoils in fear at the sudden outburst, reflexively shielding her face with her hoof. The hurt is evident from the expression she wears, seeing a book being mistreated in such a way, even if it was blatant propaganda. Realizing the assault was not directed at her, she lowers her guard before glancing at the impact site, then quickly over to you. She sees a slumped mare, defeated by an invisible enemy.

"Are you... any closer, at least? Has anything you've found helped you figure out how involved they and Celestia were with all this?"

"Nay," you sigh. "The Zealots have not existed for nearly a thousand years. To trace back what they may or may not have been involved in has proved extremely difficult, to say the least." You didn't want to face the reality that locating evidence of the movements and actions of a secret society that existed hundreds of years ago would be next to impossible. You couldn't accept that reality, however. Nopony was perfect, they had to have slipped up at some point, made a mistake for you to uncover. You would find it.

For several moments, silence reigns throughout the library. Twilight still appears to be coming to terms with all that she's learned in this short time, a whole new layer of history that had previously been hidden away was now exposed to her, and with this discovery came questions. Questions that would be next to impossible to find the answers to. Your had your own, and they hung right in front of you, decorated in red.

They shined above you, cascading in the night sky, each one the prized jewel of each new constellation you created, where they would live forever.

"This has been... enlightening." She finally whispers. "I thought I knew all there was to know about Equestria's history. Now, it turns out that there's so much more for me to know. I can honestly say that I wasn't expecting anything quite like this when I came here to get to know you."

You give her a sideways glance and half-way smile. "These 'stains' on history... Perhaps there are more to them than meets the eye? We believe a new perspective sheds new light on them, you question them, and you begin to wonder if they are the remaining marks of what was once a much greater picture."

"Yeah," she replies, matching your smile. The look she gives you now seems different than the one she gave you back when you first met, or during your conflict in the throne room. It's warmer.

"I think I can see it, now."

*~*~*~*