Adventures in Royal Foalsitting (A fic I Extremely Hate)

by DakariKingMykan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4228

Twilight Babysits Flurry Heart, but things go horribly wrong

Twilight is asked to foal-sit her niece, Flurry Heart while Cadance and Shining Armor attend a conference. Twilight swears as Flurry's aunt to look after her without relying on too much help from her friends, which soon takes it's toll on her.

Things then go from bad to worse when Flurry escapes out the window, now Twilight has to do whatever she can to get that baby back!

Published 2016-07-04 06:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-04 23:31:34 UTC

Intro: Family Favor

Author's Note

Author's Disgust

Since people can't seem to lay off with rudeness and mocking me and saying hurtful things;This was only made to show that I CAN make normal MLP fics, BUT DON'T LIKE IT!!

I despise this fic and everything about it, and I am NOT interested in good marks comments or praise on it! YOU GOT ME...?!!

Intro: Family Favor

INTRO

Starlight Glimmer was away on vacation, and while she was gone all the ponies were going around making sure entire Friendship Palace was spic-and-span while Princess Twilight leapt about in panic going, “Ooh, they’ll be here any second, and everything’s got to be perfect!”

“Twilight, don’t you think you should calm down a bit?” Spike asked.

“Calm down? Calm Down?!” cried Twilight “Shining Armor and Princess Cadance will be here any minute with Flurry Heart!”

A couple of days ago, Twilight received a letter from her brother, saying that he and his wife, Princess Cadance were going to attend a conference in Fillydelphia, and as they would be far too busy for it, they asked if she wouldn’t mind looking after baby Flurry Heart.

Of course, Twilight was only too delighted at the aspect of looking after her tiny niece, so she responded “Yes, of course I will.”

She had spent the entire past nights cramming her books about childcare for a baby pony, and kept well in mind of what happened when Flurry Heart ran wild the last time and nearly destroyed the entire Crystal Empire.

“…This time I’m not leaving anything to chance.” Twilight said.

Her friends felt a little worried about her though, thinking she was going a bit over the top with all this. “You know, Twilight, there’s more to babysitting than just worrying about a child’s wellbeing.” said Rarity.

“Um, how would you know all that? You’ve never babysat before.” said Applejack.

Rarity felt a bit awkward, but couldn’t argue with her.

Applejack then spoke to Twilight telling her “Take it from me, it’ll be hard at first, but once you get the knack at it you’ll feel like you’ll never be able to let go of the little tyke.”

Twilight felt her confidence shining “Thanks, but really… the only thing I don’t want is for things to get out of hand, and that’s why no matter what happens I’m not going to let Flurry Heart out of my sight, not even for a split second!”

Everyone gazed at her awkwardly and full of concern, “Yeah… um, what about when you have to sleep?” asked Rainbow Dash “Or say… do something else that requires your attention.”

Twilight remained unfazed and stuck to her vow.

“You know, Twilight, if you want some help taking care of the baby, I could stay here with you.” said Fluttershy “I could sing to the baby, tell her stories, and show her how to cuddle with animals.”

“Or…” Pinkie Pie cut in “I could stay. After all, I take care of Pound and Pumpkin all the time, I could teach the baby how to eat cake, and smile real wide and what it means to Party!” With that, she threw a wad of confetti all over Twilight, and blew it all off with a loud noisemaker… messing up Twilight’s mane in the process.

She straighted her mane out saying, “Thank, every-pony, but as Flurry Heart’s aunt I’ll take all the time I have to watching her myself.”

“I’m pleased to hear that.” said a voice.

Everyone turned and saw Princess Cadance with Shining Armor next to her, carrying the baby on her back.

Twilight ran up to her brother and hugged him warmly, and did her happy dance with her sister-in-law.

“Twily, we can’t thank you enough for this.” Shining Armor said “We really want to take Flurry with us, but we’ve got enough to take of already.”

His wife nodded and said “We’re going to be trying to settle disputes and property management and ownership, I’ve even been called to give my expertise on Love and Affection to some, but this will all take a lot out of us, we wouldn’t have the strength to lift a hair.”

She then gazed back at her little daughter. The baby cooed and sucked on her little hooves. Twilight noticed she was wearing a magic ring around her horn.

“A magic-resistant charm…” Shining Armor said “That way she can’t accidently blow things up again, like last time.”

He set the baby down, and everyone huddle around her making cooing sounds and babbling cute words at her, and Flurry just sat where she was giggling and clapping her hooves together.

Twilight picked her up and smothered her softly.

“Well, we better go to catch our train.” said Cadance, and she dropped a small bag in front of Twilight “Here’s everything she’ll need, and here’s a list of what to do if things get out of hand.”

The list unrolled down to the floor, revealing it was very long. “Oh, okay…” Twilight said “This should be… fun?”

Flurry simple tapped her on the nose cooing “Boo…”

Pride and Pressures

ACT ONE

As Twilight rolled up the list, Cadance and Shining Armor bid their daughter goodbye. “I’ll miss you so much.” Cadance cooed and pecked her child on the head.

“You be good for Auntie Twily…” added Shining Armor as he stroked his daughter softly and kissed her head too.

Then he hugged his sister goodbye, and Cadance hugged her too “We’ll be back in a couple of days.”

“Don’t worry, everything will be just fine.” said Twilight, but then she noticed her relatives still standing there, unable to move or take their eyes off their precious little foal, as if they couldn’t bear to leave.

So, Rainbow and Applejack dragged them both by the tails to the doors and practically had to push them outside. “I love you Flurry Heart!” Cadance called.

The ponies finally shut the door, and the heard the couple leave.

That’s when the baby began to cry, and Twilight rocked her going “Oh, there-there Flurry Heart. It’s okay, they’ll be back.”

Fluttershy came up to her and patted the baby’s little head, and sure enough the baby calmed down a bit, but she still seemed a little sad.

“Oh, I can’t stand to see a baby pony like that.” said Fluttershy.

“Me either…” said Pinkie “So…” and instantly she slapped a pie in her face, hopped up and down and blew up three balloons at once, and then burst them releasing confetti all over, which amused Flurry greatly, but Twilight insisted Pinkie tone it down… making Pinkie feel low down.

Spike approached the small bag, “I wonder what they could’ve possibly brought in this little thing.” He wondered, and he reached to open it. “No, Spike, don’t!” cried Twilight, but Spike had already unclipped the bag, and it burst open, and many things spilled out in a magical glow…A crib, playpen, toys, baby foods, and loads of packs of diapers; all of which piled on top of Spike.

“Oh, my goodness; Spike…!” cried Rarity.

“Let’s get him out!” added Applejack, and she and the others helped digging through the big pile. Twilight even helped after setting Flurry Heart down by the rolled up list.

The girls dug Spike out, and the poor little dragon looked flat with stars around his head, but he was okay. “What was that?” he groaned.

“It’s a magical All-In-One Bag…” Twilight said, and she used her magic to levitate a nearby book over to everyone and showed them the images “It’s the only thing to use when you want to fit so much into one little suitcase.”

“Shucks, talk about light travel for so much.” said Applejack.

“Imagine all the party things I could fit into one of those.” added Pinkie.

Rarity seemed to take the most liking to the bag, thinking of all the dresses and outfits she could pack away. Suddenly she gasped, “Idea…!” she cried “I could start a whole line of fashionable clothing to go with this gorgeous bag. I must get home and start before I forget… Ta-ta!”

Then she was out the door in a flash.

“Well, I better go too…” said Rainbow “I promised the Wonderbolts I’d sweep up the runway in Cloudsdale and they’d let me in their next exhibition. Later.”

Then she was gone.

The others didn’t really have to leave, and asked Twilight if she was sure she could handle this, “I’ve got it all worked out.” Twilight said “I’m sure Flurry Heart and I will be--” then she remembered she set the baby down, and turned round to see her messing with the list her parents had left for her… even chewing off the end of it.

“Oh, no!” cried Twilight, and she quickly scooped up her niece, and Flurry dropped the drool splattered piece of paper out of her mouth, onto the floor.

The others snickered softly, feeling Twilight would need help.

“We’re fine…” Twilight said.

“Well, okay…” said Applejack.

“I guess we’ll be going then.” added Fluttershy “Are you coming, Pinkie? Pinkie Pie…?”

But Pinkie was playing one of her favorite games to play with babies…

“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” she called before leaping out from behind a large set of drapes shouting, “…Here I am!” then ducking back and forth doing it over, and over.

The baby found it amusing, but Twilight and Spike found it a bit annoying, and Applejack came and pulled Pinkie along by the tail saying “Come on, Sugar Cube.”

“Here I am! Here I am! HERE I GO!!” Pinkie kept shouting, until she was dragged out, and the baby cried again.

Twilight tried to calm the baby down by rocking her gently, but it didn’t work so well this time.

“Do you really think we can handle this?” Spike shouted over the crying.

“Well, first we better get her settled in.” Twilight shouted.

Soon they had set Flurry Heart’s things up in Twilight’s room, and even brought the list with them, but the baby was still crying, and Twilight and Spike went through the list of things to do if Flurry was crying, one thing at a time.

“It’s not a diaper change, she’s not hungry, she doesn’t need to be burped, I’ve tried making funny faces… what else?” cried Twilight.

“I don’t know…” Spike said as he hopped into crib near the baby, holding his ears tight to muffle her loud crying, and he picked up the rattle and began to shake it in front of her.

…it worked!! Fluffy just wanted to play some more.

“Whew!” Twilight sighed, and she checked the list, and surprisingly found that was the next thing; “Play with her”

“That’s better.” Twilight said “I’m still sure things will go fine.”

As the day went by, Twilight and Spike was busy tending to Flurry Heart’s every need. It seemed they couldn’t leave her alone for five whole seconds without her crying for more attention and care.

Twilight managed to do much of the work, even without Spike’s help as she preferred to stick to her own promise to watch over the baby, that included the following…

Feeding her… Flurry refused her bottle and pushed it away from her, or spewing out the food Twilight fed her from the jars of baby-food.

Bathing her… as much as Flurry loved bath time, she splashed about so much that it was more Twilight getting the bath than her, but Twilight could only take it with soft humor.

Changing her diaper… though Twilight had read up a lot about childcare, there was difference between a book and experience, and she managed to get the diapers al twisted, turned, even cuffing her own hooves together, much to the baby’s amusement… even Spike couldn’t help but laugh a little.

Easily, the hardest thing of all was keeping the baby out of trouble. Though her magic was blocked due to the charm round her horn, but as an Alicorn she could still fly about with her wings.

Twilight became more and more frazzled for only half a day’s work. She felt and looked as if she had been working for a whole year. Her mane was all frizzy, her eyes were red and baggy, and her wings were all droopy…

…worst of it, Flurry heart was still crying, not wanting to go to sleep at night. “Oh, please, Flurry…” Twilight groaned “Can’t you just fall asleep… so I can?”

Flurry just continued to cry, and Spike walked into the room dragging his blanket behind him, rubbing his eyes and groaning “…Have you tried singing to her?”

Twilight’s eyes dropped, but mainly because she was so tired, and she tried, groggily, singing “Hush Little Pony”

…Flurry still cried.

Spike could hardly take this anymore and he took in a huge breath… “QUIET…!!!!!!”

He practically made the whole surrounding area shake, and would you believe… Flurry heart was out like a light, sleeping peacefully.

Twilight was most surprised and her jaw hung open.

Spike sighed softly, “After all, enough is enough! Goodnight!” and he walked off to bed dragging his blanket behind him.

As for Twilight, she was so tired, that she just flopped onto her couch and drifted right off to sleep.

Eyes Down

ACT TWO

Of course, Flurry Heart still had a few wakeup calls for Twilight in the night, for a diaper change, or a midnight feeding, that or she was just too warm or too cold.

Twilight hardly got much sleep last night, and she was very groggy and frazzled in the morning, while Spike didn’t seem nearly as beat as she was. “How are you not tired from that all night crying session?” she asked.

Spike didn’t even gaze at her.

“Spike…”

“Hmm…?” Spike said, and he pulled two cotton puffs out of his wars “Did you say something, Twilight?”

Twilight was practically too tried and annoyed to respond to that, and suddenly Flurry began to cry again, it was time for her breakfast. “Ugh…!” Twilight groaned.

She barely managed to feed her, and drifted off to sleep, so Spike finished the job for her.

“Come on, wittle Flurry Wurry…” he cooed “Eat for up for Uncle Spikey Wikey.”

Flurry cooperated without much fuss, and it made Spike smile.

The sound of a knock at the door woke Twilight up, it was all he friends coming to check up on her and see how things were going, but one look at her and the frazzled mess she was in told them enough.

“Oh, my stars!” cried Rarity “You look simply awful, Twilight.”

“I take it you’ve been a little busy.” said Rainbow.

Twilight didn’t bother respond to that, “How do my brother and Cadance do this? She’s a non-stop crying-machine.”

“But she’s just a little baby, Twilight.” said Fluttershy.

Flurry cooed, and Pinkie couldn’t help but fawn all over her, “Aw, who’s a cute wittle pony wony.”

Flurry responded by her usual clinging to Pinkie’s face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_TjLUukeE

“See, she likes Me.” said Pinkie, but Twilight had nearly fallen asleep again.

“I knew she’d be needin’ help.” said Applejack.

Hearing those words made her snap awake; “No!” she snapped “I can do this! She’s my niece.”

“But you’re our friend…” said Fluttershy “And as your friends, we can see you need a break.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” added Rarity, and she and Fluttershy dragged Twilight off to the castle spa, insisting she relax, leaving the others to watch the baby and clean up a little.

“Wow, if this is what it means to be a parent, I’ll never have kids.” said Rainbow.

“I don’t know…” said Applejack “Maybe having youngins would be nice, but I’d rather wait until I’m good and ready, and I know that ain’t for some time yet.”

They then noticed Pinkie still playing and having fun with the baby. Flurry Heart was really enjoying her company and playfulness.

“I guess we all know Pinkie Pie would be a great mom.” Spike joked. The others snickered at that thought and continue to help with the cleanup.

“…Ready to play Where’s Pinkie Pie Version 2.0?” Pinkie asked Flurry, and the baby cooed and giggled as if she really wanted to play.

Pinkie Pie’s new game was different; instead of just popping out time after time, she merely hid under a blanket calling “Where’s Pinkie Pie? Can you find where she is?”

She expected Flurry Heart to poke and prod at the blanket and try to pull it off her, but in fact… Flurry spotted an open window…!

“I’m waiting for you, Fluffy.” Pinkie said form under the blanket, completely unaware of what was about to happen.

Meanwhile, Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy felt more than relaxed in the palace steam-room, Twilight even felt herself starting to awaken. “This feels so nice.” she sighed as she relaxed.

Rarity and Fluttershy sighed in relaxation as well, suddenly; there was a little knock on the window… though it was normally ridiculous for a steam-room to have an outside view window…

“Oh, it’s Flurry Heart.” said Fluttershy.

“Oh, that’s nice.” said Rarity.

Twilight just sighed again, but suddenly she and all the others gasped, “…FLURRY HEART??!!”

The baby giggled outside the window, and then she took off to who knew where.

Twilight quickly teleported outside beyond the window and flew after her little niece, while Fluttershy and Rarity dashed out of the stream room calling for the others!

“She’s what?!” snapped Rainbow.

“Gone outside?” added Applejack.

“But I thought Pinkie was watching her.” said Spike. That’s when they all turned and spotted the open window, and Pinkie Pie was stilling under a blanket.

“Wow, you’re really taking your time, Flurry.” Pinkie said still unaware of what just happened, until she peeked out. “Flurry…? Flurry Heart…?”

“Come on! We’ve gotta help Twilight find her!” cried Rainbow Dash, and she soared out the open window, Fluttershy followed her and the others galloped out the big doors leaving Spike behind.

“Hey, what about me?!” he called, but the ponies had already fled. “Ah, man…!” he groaned. With nothing much to do, as he couldn’t join the search, he decided to at least continue the cleanup by himself…

…until he noticed the small slip of the list Flurry Heart had chewed was still on the floor. No longer wet or drool covered, and still readable… with a valuable piece of information on it.

Little Lost Baby

ACT THREE

The others caught up with Twilight, but she had completely lost sight of Flurry Heart.

“Oh, no… Oh, no, no, no, no… this is very bad! I should never have taken my eyes off her!” cried Twilight, and she began to hyperventilate.

Rarity gave her one of her emergency paper bags, which she carried with her, to breathe into.

“Try to keep calm, Twilight.” Applejack said to her, but Twilight only panics harder, “Don’t panic? Don’t Panic?! There is a baby pony loose in Ponyville alone! WHO KNOWS WHAT TROUBLE SHE COULD GET INTO?!!”

The girls said not a thing, though they too felt just as concerned as she did.

“Well she can’t have gotten very far.” said Rainbow “I’ll fly up and on ahead.”

“We’ll check around the areas.” said Rarity.

Rainbow flew off, and the girls all departed on their quest.

Through a musical instrumental montage they searched everywhere.

Twilight: She checked all around for Flurry Heart trying to sense her magic with her own, but remember she was wearing the anti-magic charm, so her best lead was to listen for her cooing or giggling or even crying, but every time she heard a coo, giggle or a cry, it turned out to be some-pony else’s baby, not Flurry.

Rarity: Searched practically every fashion store and boutique she could find, as she was actually most distracted by the outfits on display which gave her more ideas. “Well, Flurry could have flown into one of these stores?” she asked trying to cover it up, but she was just being silly and resumed her search.

Rainbow Dash: She soared through the skies peeking through every cloud she could find, and then brushed away the ones she already checked to make sure Flurry could land there later. Suddenly, she swore she could see a tiny creature fluttering in the distance, “Got’cha!” and she soared in to grab it and ended up wrestling it into a cloud, only to discover it was no Flurry, but a bird about the same size as her, and he was not pleased from being tackled. “Heh-Heh, sorry?” said Rainbow.

Fluttershy: She was searching the Everfree Forest, a great place to get lost, and be scared… especially when you all alone. “Oh, oh gosh!” she whimpered as she crept down the path. Then she stepped on a twig and yelped. Then she bumped into a tree and yelped louder. She ducked down holding her hooves over her eyes and trembling, and then she heard the shrub she was next to tremble and heard a growling sound like a bear, making her flee in panic… but as it turned out, it was just a frog that had a very unusual croak.

Pinkie Pie: She searched and searched, in the most bizarre of places to look for a baby. In garbage-cans, under rocks, in the mail boxes, she even lifted up newspapers that other ponies were reading as they sat on benches, greatly annoying them.

So, Applejack had to drag her along by the tail to keep her out of trouble and help her search.

Alas… by midafternoon the girls had grown tired, and returned to the castle all with sad expressions, but Twilight was easily the most disturbed. “What am I going to do?” she cried “What will I tell Shining armor and Princess Cadance?”

“You can tell them it was my fault, Twilight.” said Pinkie, and she really meant it “If I had watched Flurry Heart more closely she wouldn’t have gotten away.”

“Oh, don’t blame just yourself, Pinkie Pie…” said Rarity “We all should have been paying closer attention to the baby.”

The others all nodded in agreement.

“No…” Twilight said “I’m the one who’s at fault here. I gave my word I’d watch the baby. It was my responsibility, and now… I…” she couldn’t find the words to say, overwhelmed with worry for baby Flurry Heart, and worse… worrying over how her relatives would react, or all of Ponyville when they found out about this!

Applejack didn’t know what to say and comforted her as they all walked into the palace, as soon as they were inside, they could hear a faint sound of singing. “Any-pony else hearin’ that?” asked Applejack, and the others agreed.

“It sounds like Spike singing…” said Fluttershy.

They all followed the singing, right into Twilight’s bedroom, and what they saw surprised them…

There sat Spike in the rocking chair, holding the sleeping baby Flurry Heart, rocking her softly and singing…

“And if the monsters scare you so
Uncle Spike Wikey will make them go,
And if they don’t, I’ll break ‘em apart,
I won’t let ‘em hurt you, Flurry Heart.”

Flurry Heart let out a little yawn and continued to sleep so peacefully, which the girls couldn’t help but gaze lovingly at.

Soon, Flurry Heart was tucked into her crib and left alone to sleep in Twilight’s room, and this time they all made sure the windows were shut tight!

“She was here all the time?!” groaned Rainbow.

“Well, I’ll be gall’darned.” said Applejack.

Twilight was ever so relieved and hugged Spike tightly going, “Oh, Spike, thank you! Thank you, thank you, Thank you…!”

“Twilight…!” Spike groaned begging to be let go.

She let him go, but she had to ask “How did you find her?”

That’s when Spike held up Flurry’s rattle in one claw, and the piece of the list in the other claw, giving it to Twilight. The piece read; “If Flurry flies out a window, simply shake her rattle out the window and call her name three times and she’ll come right back.”

Twilight felt very surprised and silly, and Spike could only gawk at her with a sneaky look on his face, while Twilight smiled sheepishly while blushing in embarrassment.

The day after the next, Shining Armor and Cadance came by to pick up their daughter. They were most delighted to see her again, and she them.

“Did you have with Auntie Twilight?” Cadance cooed.

“Oh, sure… we had loads of fun.” Twilight said trying to be sly, the others agreed with her, but Shining Armor and Cadance could tell…

“Let me guess…” said Shining Armor “She slipped out the window, didn’t she?”

Everyone’s eyes bulged, and the parents laughed, “She does that all the time at home.” said Cadance “Its good thing she likes her rattle so much. It makes it easier to keep her out of trouble.”

Twilight felt it best not to tell them what really happened, since it wasn’t important now, “But next time, I will consider asking for a little help when I really need it. Thanks, every-pony… and an especially thanks to you, Spike…”

She bent down and pecked him softly on the cheek, making him blush, and everyone thought it was cute.

Author's Note

Author's disgust

UGH'LL!! This fic is even more filth-trash than I thought