Welcome To Pony Town

by GeodesicDragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Starlight Glimmer, Comedy
Length: 1128

When Twilight learns of a strange new town which has suddenly appeared in Equestria, she decides that it warrants further investigation. So off she goes, dragging Starlight Glimmer along with her; a great opportunity for a friendship lesson.

When Twilight learns of a strange new town which has suddenly appeared in Equestria, she decides that it warrants further investigation. So off she goes, dragging Starlight Glimmer along with her; a great opportunity for a friendship lesson.

It's not long before they both start to wish that they'd stayed in Ponyville.

Published 2016-07-06 20:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-06 20:10:02 UTC

One-Shot

"Remind us again why we're here, Twilight?"

Twilight sighed. "Because, Starlight, we are going to visit this strange new town which has appeared. It is an excellent opportunity for us – but especially you – to make new friends, as well as hopefully discover the secret of the magic which has kept their town hidden for Celestia knows how long."

Starlight nodded. "So I'm going to be doing the whole 'meet and greet' thing, while you do the science-y stuff," she replied.

"I'll be talking to them as well, Starlight," Twilight said. "I'm not exactly going to 'throw you to the timber wolves' and expect you to do everything. What kind of teacher would that make me?"

"Celestia, perhaps?" Starlight muttered under her breath.

"Hmm?" Twilight glanced at her.

"Nothing!" Starlight pointed at something in the distance. "Hey, look, I think we're here already."

Twilight looked at where Starlight was pointing, to see a large crowd of ponies in the middle of a large field. What struck her the most about the area was the complete lack of any discernible buildings, as well as how the grass seemed to behave; a grassy patch would suddenly become bare, but then the grass would miraculously regrow after a few seconds.

"What is this place?" Twilight wondered aloud. "Come on, Starlight, let's go and introduce ourselves."

"After you, Twilight." Starlight held a forehoof out. "You're the Princess of Friendship, after all."

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes as she walked into the crowd of ponies, which seemed to be getting bigger by the minute. She cleared her throat and raised her voice to address them.

"Hello, everypony," she said. "I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship; this is my student, Starlight Glimmer, and it is both our duty and our privilege to welcome you all to Equestria. May I speak with whomever is in charge?"

Nopony responded.

"Um, excuse us." Starlight walked up next to Twilight. "The Princess is trying to get your attention, so stop being rude and talk to us."

Again, nopony responded.

Twilight groaned. "What is wrong with them?" she asked. "It's almost as if we're invisible to— eep!"

"Twilight?" Starlight's voice was full of concern. "What's wrong?" Twilight shakily pointed a hoof at a group of the other ponies, all of whom looked exactly like her. "Whoa..."

"Changelings," Twilight whispered. "A whole town full of Changelings! We need to get out of here and—"

One of the ponies suddenly walked right up to Twilight and Starlight, staring at them intently. They both looked back warily, expecting him to say something — only to gasp as a giant speech bubble appeared above his head instead.

hi

"Um... hello." Twilight waved meekly. "It's okay, we're Changelings as well. Just two Changelings doing... Changeling stuff."

There was a pause before another chat bubble appeared.

y r u ignoring me

"We're not ignoring you," Starlight replied. "Can't you hear us talking? I think you need to get your ears looked—"

fuk u, pair of bicthes

With that, the pony walked away, leaving Starlight and Twilight free to share a puzzled glance with each other.

"I guess they can only communicate using those speech bubbles," Twilight theorised. "I guess they're not Changelings after all."

Starlight nodded. "We can't communicate, but that doesn't mean we can't observe," she said. "Let's have a look around and see what else we can learn about these ponies."

Twilight smiled. "Good idea!" she replied. "We can't let our experience with one cloud our judgement of them all."

They started walking, noting with some concern that many of the inhabitants of the town would randomly disappear completely, while others would suddenly pop into existence. All the while, they paid close attention to the speech bubbles appearing around them.

Who wants to cyber?

eat shit and die

ur all a bunch of autists

here come dat boi

o shit waddup

HEIL HITLER

Follow me to the gay bath house

"I'm beginning to think that maybe coming here was a bad idea," Starlight murmured. "These ponies are crazy!"

Twilight giggled. "I said the same thing about the ponies in Ponyville," she said. "But I was soon proven wrong."

Give it to me daddy!

"Having said that, though... I think you're right."

"Of course I'm right!" Starlight shouted. "Come on, Twilight, we need to get out of here before we go crazy!"

anal anal anal anal anal

get rekt

180 noscope biatch

im a counterstrike and I find this globally offensive

8===============D

The speech bubbles came thick and fast, blocking Twilight and Starlight's line of sight as they fought to escape the area.

"More of them keep appearing out of thin air!" Starlight shouted.

"Not only that... is it just me, or are we moving a lot slower than normal?" Twilight replied. "I feel like I'm walking through custard!"

omfg lag again

shit server lol

xDDDDDDD

"Over there, Twilight!" Starlight pointed at a gap in the group. "I can see a way out of here, come on!"

"You don't have to tell me twice!"

The two of them bolted for the gap, finally emerging with loud sighs of relief. They clambered up a hill and stood at the top, watching the mayhem unfolding below.

"This has to be, without a shadow of a doubt, the weirdest place I have ever been to." Twilight shook her head. "And I thought your town was weird when I first arrived."

"Compared to these ponies, we were the most normal group of individuals ever to walk the planet," Starlight said. "But the thing is, Twilight, what do we do now?"

"I'll have to report the existence of this town to my fellow princesses," Twilight replied. "What happens next is up to—"

Her words died in her throat as the town, and all of its occupants, suddenly disappeared. Starlight and Twilight exchanged a shocked glance, and then rushed back down to where it had been.

"I... I don't understand." Twilight looked around frantically. "What the heck happened to everypony? Where did they go?"

Starlight shrugged. "Beats me," she said. "Come on, let's just go home. We'll tell the others what happened, and then we can refresh ourselves before you talk to Princesses Celestia and Luna."

At the mention of the word 'refresh,' another object popped into existence above Starlight's head, and she glanced up at it.

500 Internal Server Error

Starlight glanced over at Twilight who, after a moment, stomped a forehoof into the ground and shook her head furiously.

"Nuts to this," she grumbled. "Let's just go."

Author's Note

The preceding was, as you no doubt saw, random as all hell.

Everything in bold was a word-for-word quote of something I saw while on Pony Town.

I regret nothing.