Double Trouble

by Shadowbane

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Sex, Adventure, Human
Length: 18430

Two men find their ways to Equestria, meeting the mares of their dreams .. and living those dreams!

A first-person story collaboration by Shadowbane and TheDovahwin97.
We've yet to come to a full main character list, though those that have been selected are those that one of us has accepted to be in our parts.
MAIN main ponis are Applejack and Rarity, respectively.

---

Two men, Hector and Zero, have found strange ways to trespass the boundaries between our reality and Equestria's. It may be impossible for them to return, but even so, they will be happy to learn what it takes to be an Equestrian! The various ponies may have a hard time figuring out what exactly they are, but as long as it all works out, right? .. That is, if it does work out. Does it, you ask? Don't question me, I'm the troll author. Go see Dovah for that kinda question.

ANYWAYS. Contains humanXpony romance and sex, various jokes (that may or may not be funny), poni obsession, and humans learning to love and tolerate. ..Oh, a car crash and a murder too, but there aren't any gory details to those.

I MIGHT EDIT THIS DESCRIPTION LATER.. I feel like there's something wrong with it, but I'm too tired right now to pick it out. The image is almost certainly a placeholder as well.. we'll change it if we find something better or if one of us decides to say 'fuck it, I'mma just make a picture for this'. Also, you might wonder why this is in my fics and not in Dovah's.. well, there was a little bit of debate, but it was rather easily sorted out that I have more watchers, and thus, it would get attention through me. Even if Dovah was the one who came to me bearing question of the temporary alliance of our keyboards.

Published 2012-06-22 11:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-05 01:01:37 UTC

0 - Blood and Friendship

(Dovah's Side)

“All right, let’s see... my Ed Hardy converse, check. My black skinny jeans, check. My shirt and black jacket, check. Handsome jet-black, Harry Potter-like hair, check. Black hipster-like glasses, check. Wallet... shit, where’s my wallet?”

As I was mentally checking for everything I will be needing for my movie night, I seemed to misplace my wallet so I started looking through my drawers for the damn thing. Me and and three of my friends were finally going to see “The Avengers” before they stopped showing it at the movies; better late than never, I always say. God help me if I ever started trusting those dick-wipes to pay whenever we go out somewhere nice, it’s usually ME paying for their broke, lazy asses. This time wouldn’t be any different, so I needed to find that fucking wallet or else I am not going anywhere tonight.

“Here you are, pedaso de meirda.” (I forgot to mention: my natural, lustrous Spanish, you know that shit is a check.)

After like two centuries of searching for my wallet in my room, I finally found the little bastard under my bed along with my Rarity toy I got from McDonalds. I, for one, never would have found myself liking a little girls show but, like one Canadian hormone-train wreck said, you should never say never.

“When did you get here? ...Whatever.” I placed the doll on my crappy coffee table and went into my bathroom to freshen up... again. I swear, I do this so many times I think I am turning into a girl! Regardless, I needed to comb my hair again due to the ‘epic quest to find the lost wallet of old’. I combed it to the side and rubbed some water from the sink into my hair. I never bothered using hair gel ‘cause of how sticky it got and the hassle to clean it off my hands; always thought water was a good alternative. “Damn, te ves guapo (You look handsome). Yeah, I know I do.” Not sure why but I constantly compliment myself in the mirror. Maybe it’s because my friends don’t give me much compliments; either that or I don’t pay attention to them when they do.

HONK, HONK, HOOOOONK!

It was 8:45 when my ‘movie buddies’ showed up. I tore myself from my framed Bachelor’s degree (in Video Game Programming) that I’ve staring at for the past ten minutes. Really don’t know what to do next with my life but I can worry about that later. Right now, I was going to see Iron Man and the Hulk kick ass! I rushed outside and locked the door. I gave them one of my official and respectful greetings.

“Yo, how you faggots doin’ tonight?” I asked them.. ‘politely’. They then proceeded to ‘flip the bird’ at me. My companions might have brains much more abysmal than mine, but they sure have manners.

“Thanks guys. I am so lucky to have friends such as yourselves... now are you little girls ready to see some Avengers!?” I asked rhetorically which earned me an ear-shattering “FUCK YEAH!”

My friend and ‘closet brony’, Joel, opened one of the back-doors of the car. I jumped in and shut the door, fuckin’ excited to see the movie. As I put on my seatbelt (God knows I’ll need it when I’m driving somewhere with these guys), I see my other two friends, Claudio and Andy, chatting about something. Joel was at my right dusting off his leather jacket; I swear, we all were jackets whenever we go out somewhere.

“So Hector, you ready?” Claudio asked me. “Yeah man! Been waiting for my schedule to clear up for the past two weeks,” I replied. Claudio was the resident ‘buff and black guy’ of our group. When we were in high school, he would do fifty push-ups and would bench-press one-hundred and fifty pounds immediately afterwards.

“What schedule? After you got your degree you haven’t been doing shit!” Andy had a good head on his shoulders. He shared my philosophical ideals and he always found holes in whatever I say. Which in turn, I come up with a not-so-clever comeback even if he was one-hundred percent right.

“Shut up, Andy! You’re just jealous ‘cause... ‘cause you're ugly and fat.” I replied.

“Whatever you say, Hector.” Andy turned on the radio and we all proceeded bang our heads to some deadmau5.

It was ten minutes into the drive when Andy turned off the radio for some peace and quiet. The rest of us decided to keep our mouths shut until we arrived at the theater; we were saving our breaths so we can scream and cheer uninterrupted during the movie. Andy was busy driving, Claudio was inspecting his muscles, probably thinking about how many push-ups he should do tomorrow, and Joel was looking out the window. I followed his example; I turned my gaze towards the full moon. What a beautiful sight it was. It almost makes me agree with Nightmare Moon’s motive for wanting to bring night eternal to Equestria... almost.

Honk, Hooonk! MOTHERFUCKER! HOLY SHIT!

“What the fuck?” I heard some honking sounds and Andy yelling at some other driver. Before I knew it, the car was spinning out of control! Claudio and Joel hastily tried to clip on their seatbelts. I held onto whatever I could as we spun out of the road and into-

“FUCKING BRACE YOURSELV-” The world was spinning. It was blurry and cracked like the windows next to me. I found myself upside down as I was sliding in and out of consciousness. Didn’t even know what happened; It was all too fast.

Hack. Cough, Cough.

I was hacking out this fluid from my throat, figured it as blood. There was a dull pain in my chest... So this is how I die, huh? In a car crash caused by a drunk degenerate and my friend’s inability to control the car; Andy, Claudio, Joel. They weren’t moving... Please Lord, don’t let them be dead.

“I’m sorry, guys... I-I’m so...” Darkness invaded my vision one last time. I’m leaving so much behind and I had a whole future ahead of me; Life is so fucking unfair sometimes.

I heard some sirens in the distance. It didn’t matter... The darkness took me...

I was gone.

I’m Hector, and this is my story...

(Shad's Side)

It was nighttime, and I had to hurry somewhat. “Damn, I hope I’ve prepared enough for the wedding..” I mumbled to myself, opening my closet and pulling out the lone tuxedo from the iron bar the hanger rested on. I ran my other hand’s fingers through my jet-black hair experimentally - while my hair was normally curly and very unruly, today I had gelled and brushed it to near perfection. Satisfied with the straight- and evenness, I changed into the tuxedo. While the monkey suit was pretty difficult to put on, I had to admit that the amount of coolness it gave me was quite immediate, and very refreshing. I had never seen myself look so good for quite some time as I strolled into the bathroom and observed myself in the mirror for a moment. Almost James Bond-y.

I can’t say I’m vain or narcissistic, but I really do like to see myself wearing more than shorts and t-shirts all the time. I like to experiment with lavish outfits and elegant costumes to suit my serious frame. While I’m often only serious on two things - my love for video games and my love for My Little Pony.. specifically Friendship is Magic - I do look like I could be a soldier or a football star, as odd as that may sound. I’m somewhere over 6 feet tall, with wide shoulder blades and some chub. Despite this, I’ve refused to join the Marines or play some pointless game where teammates feel the need to slap their allies’ buttocks every once in awhile, even at my father’s prodding to do so.

Speaking of my father, it’s his wedding I was going to. Not to marry my mother, don’t get me wrong, but to marry my mother’s third cousin. That’s right - instead of marrying my mom, he’ll marry a cousin of hers. However, this is because the two broke up a long time ago. We’ve already forgiven and forgotten. Mostly. Anyways, back to me. Slipping on my sleek new white-and-blue sneakers, I almost forget my car keys on the table as I push through the front door. Heading back swiftly, I grab the keys and almost fall on the round glass table in my rush, then sprint out of the door to my nice red Honda Civic.

Across the asphalt and concrete my demon-sped car roared - once the key was inserted at least - blaring out hardstyle electronic music through the open windows. An old bald guy with glasses pulls up the window in a house I’m driving by and shouts at me to ‘lower the fuckin’ volume’, but I merely flip the bird to him as I progress along the route to the church. Suddenly, I remember something I forgot at home and immediately hit on the brakes. The guy behind me, in a silver Chevy Volt, rolls his window down and curses at me to get moving again, but I do a U-turn and head back the way I came.

Ignoring the glare of the old man that I had flipped off earlier, I went backwards through the same route I took to head to the church. Luckily, I was leaving early to the wedding, or else I might’ve ended up being late because of this sidetracking. However, upon reaching my house, I notice that the door seems to have been forced open, having been left wide and with scratches on the paint.

Cautiously approaching my house, I sidle next to the doorway and peep inside. At first, I see nothing out of the ordinary, but then - in the middle of my small living room - I see a black-clothed guy rummaging through the leather bag I had forgotten. My most prized possession was in there - I couldn’t let the thief have it. So I pushed myself halfway inside and pulled out my trusty pocket knife from the black pants that came with the tux.

Quickly, I rushed the darkly-clad man, jumping on his back and fiercely swinging the knife into his chest and twisting it before the thief could utter more than a small gasp in his last moments. While it was true that I wasn’t a soldier, my father and uncle had insisted on training me in hand-to-hand combat just in case I changed my mind. Assassination is a little bit of something you should expect to do as a soldier - even if this was the first time I had actually done it for real.

While thievery had often occurred on my street, not so often was it as blatantly obvious as this encounter. The guy had to be stupid or extremely desperate. Not that it mattered anymore. Shaking with the notion of my first taking of a human life, I checked the leather bag. Sure enough, it still held the only two items I put into it - an Applejack toy and its case, signed exclusively by Ashleigh Ball, voice actress for Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Call me weird, but the signature and the pony itself served well as my lucky charms. I hardly leave anywhere without them.

I heard footsteps stomping down my stairs and froze instantly with the doll in my hands. I didn’t think that there would be more than one thief. Pausing and gazing at the stairway, I slid backwards to the back of my couch - which the first thief now laid his corpse on. Thankfully, the cotton was a shade of scarlet, so a stain wouldn’t be all that noticeable. I couldn’t see anything besides the front door and the top part of the stairs. I saw a few figures descending a few steps, and then I couldn’t risk peeking.

After a few terrifying minutes of silence, I raised my head above the couch’s top, wondering whether they had left. I found myself face-to-face with a .357 magnum revolver. Immediately, I tried to duck down again, but the bark of the gun, a swift jolt backwards, and a sudden faintness in my head alerted me that I had been too late. As I lay behind the couch in agony, the thieves ran out of the house shouting at each-other, red and blue lights shining off the door and into my eyes. I wasn’t sure exactly what could be making such radiance, but I couldn’t really think about it.

My head grew heavy and my breathing grew dim, though a man and a woman in blue suits came in and started to lift me up. Even with their urgent aural tones commanding me to stay awake, I couldn’t obey. I fell into a deep sleep, everything around me becoming misty and red-tinted. The last thing I thought of was how late I’d be to the wedding.

I’m Zero, and this is my story.

1 - Reawakening

______________________________________________________________________________

( v-- Dovah's)

You would expect ‘crossing over’ would be painless. That you would see a bright light at the end of the tunnel. You would feel weightless and you found yourself walking to the white light. Well... it was bright and there were lights but that was it. Honestly, I didn’t know where the fuck I was but I can tell you it wasn’t any ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ or wherever the hell you go when you die. All I knew was that it was floating in some sort of limbo with these seizure-inducing flashes of light that no matter what I did, they were always there. All the while, my head, no, my entire being felt like it was being put in in a shredder! My eyes, my lips, my nose, my gums, my nuts! Everything felt like it was being cut into pieces with a Tabasco-dipped knife.

“AAHH!!!” I tried to scream but nothing came out; as if something turned off the sound in this place. It was pointless to do anything at this point; I couldn’t scream in pain, move or shut my eyes against the unrelenting flashes. I was squirming in this joke- this abomination of an afterlife. Was this Hell? Was this my fate, my punishment?, I thought. Out of nowhere, the flashes of light just stopped for a split second, allowing for some minimal rest to my tired, fried eyes, and then exploding into one colossal flash. I put my hands in front of me but it was futile; The light engulfed my body and, once again, I was out like a bulb.

.

.

.

“What is that thing, Twi...”

“...don’t know... hurt...”

“...shy... anything?”

“it... wearing... darling”

“...-pital, quick!”

“... down on... bed... we’ll... care... of it.”

I was going back and forth between consciousness and unconsciousness like some sort of ping-pong ball. Through it all, I kept on hearing these voices buzzing in my head; they sounded feminine. It was a mess but, from what I could gather, they sounded a bit concerned.

I felt myself being poked and prodded as darkness came to and fro. It was so fucking belittling to have my unconscious form being treated like an exhibit. Couldn't complain, though. I was a vegetable right now. I slipped back to unconsciousness, hopefully this time it would be a while before I woke up again.

I woke up, with all control of my body again, to find myself in a hospital room. I looked around to see only a night sky out the window to my right and some monitors to my left. I wiggled my fingers in front of my face to see if I really do have control over myself... I did. Feelings of gratitude showered over me as I came to a miraculous conclusion - I was alive! I leaped out of the bed, breaking some IV lines but completely ignoring them. My senses burst out in tingling joy, the euphoria briefly overtaking me even as some sort of cosplaying nurse came over to me from a distance.

“Whoa there! Calm down before you hurt yourself again.” I did one final, joyous spin in place as I turned to the individual who told me to stop my glorious display of emotion.

“I’m sorry, ma’am but I’m just so...” As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I got a clear, hard look at the source of the sound. I turned and saw a pony... in a nurse’s outfit. I blinked and kept my eyes shut for a few seconds before opening them again - it was still there and now it was giving me a concerned look.

“Sir, is something wrong? Perhaps you should lie down while I get you a syringe.” It talked... It talked... IT FUCKING TALKED! Whatever euphoric sensation that was with me before was gone. Whatever happiness I felt a few moments ago was shattered. I started to hyperventilate - there was no way this was happening. A pony in a nurse’s outfit spoke to me, in plain English, no less. This is a dream, a fucking dream. I put my hands on my face and felt that it was real - one hundred percent real. This was no dream.

“Sir, please get back into-” the nurse-pony began. I replied.

“Holy... mother... of... JESUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!!!!!” I screamed out of the top of my lungs and darted through the door, ignoring the petrified nurse-pony thing. I ran down the hallway of this... this hospital, sprinting past door after door and hallway after hallway.

“This is not real... This is not real. It’s all just a medication-induced dream. Soon, I’ll wake up in a real hospital, slap the shit out of Andy when I wake up, and we’ll all see “The Avengers” when it comes out on Blu-ray.” I told myself this but it did nothing to help. Finally, after what seemed like hours, I found the doors to my freedom. As I ran through the sliding doors, I was greeted with a confusing sight. A town.

A town that looked nothing like the neighborhood I lived in was the first thing I saw. It looked cartoony, it looked medieval, it looked a little bit like... Ponyville?! Oh fuck! Where the fuck am I?! How the fuck did I-

“Hold him down! Hold down his forelegs, darn it!”

I was now on the ground with a mouthful of dirt and gravel, squirming after something tackled me to the ground. I thrashed and struggled and was able to see the attacker or attackers - it was a pony-doctor and some guards. I continued to thrash around but to no avail. These things were strong in a group.

“Pass me the syringe, now!”

No, No! I felt a sharp pain in the side of my neck. It stung like hell but the pain was replaced with drowsiness. I started feeling woozy. I felt them get off my back.

“back to... bed... tie... secure.”

That was all I heard - the darkness took me once more.

______________________________________________________________________________

( v- Shad's )

I felt reality shifting around me in a dizzy haze of red. It was like being in a tornado, almost, except you didn’t really feel any fear in it. I saw all kinds of scenes shifting around my eyes, but most of them were events in my life - particularly those revolving around my deepest emotions. Though one memory stood out - it wasn’t mine, but it was radiant and shining, unlike my dull past. I felt my inner being crave the incandescence of that reality, and shifted towards it. Something from my past had a phrase for something of this kind, but I couldn’t remember. In fact, it was hard for me to remember my own name at this point.

The light enveloped me, and suddenly it was all dark, and I could feel a softness beneath me. “Wuf da fac?” I grumbled through the familiar white object my face was buried in. I tried to get up, but my body was racked with intense pain the moment I tried, especially in my head.

“Gaddimmit,” my muffled voice tried again. I couldn’t even move my head slightly. But it seemed as if my struggle had attracted some attention; I heard an odd sound moving towards me - almost like clopping from a horse’s hooves. Must be some weird shoes, I thought, and I must be in some sorta hospital. After all, I did get shot in the damn face. While I didn’t remember a lot right now, I could at least remember that! I tried to feel my head, where what felt like heavy bandages and gauze were wrapped around the top. I couldn’t reach it, but my attempts made me feel more alive, at least. I kept wondering how I wasn’t dead.

“Look who’s finally awake!” a pretty female voice sounded, startling me from my subconscious. “Mmmph?” I tried to speak, but I seriously couldn’t make out any words through the damned pillow. “I’ve never seen anything like yourself, but it wasn’t too hard to figure out your anatomy once I got down to it,” the woman commented, “and the thing lodged in your head was off-putting, but I figured it must have been the source of your internal damage.” A needle entered my neck for a few seconds, and I cringed a bit at the sting. However, once the needle had been pulled back, I felt less stiff. I tried to move again, and to my surprise I was able to lift my arm off the soft I laid upon, more than likely a hospital bed.

Even through the agony, my willpower broke through - I was able to roll over, eyes closed and sweating. “Damn, talk about pain,” I growled under my breath. Though my attitude said otherwise, it was actually very relieving that I could still move. If I had been like a vegetable, I would’ve just asked my parents to unplug me. What use is it to live when all you’ve got in front of you is bad? Thankful for a second chance, I opened my eyes and extended my right hand to properly greet one of what I assumed was the nurses saving my life. I was surprised, however, when the nurse I saw wasn’t quite human.

I squinted and slowly brought my hands up to my eyes to rub them for a moment. After I was done rubbing, I stared again at the nurse. Same vision as before. Now I felt a little nervous - perhaps I had actually just gone insane, and the whole situation was some sort of hallucination designed to keep me occupied with my craziness. “I’ll be right back,” she said, “I have to go take care of another patient for a few minutes!” So, with that, she turned her back on me and went elsewhere. I kept looking where she had disappeared to.

The woman had been Nurse Redheart, a pony from ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’! But that couldn’t be possible, could it? Though, the pink mane in a bun, blue eyes, and white hair had really thrown me for a loop when I had opened my eyes. I resolved to get some eyedrops later. In what was probably a few minutes later, I heard someone shouting about Jesus or something like that. A few seconds later, I saw a silhouette darting through the door on the other side of the room.

After that, the nurse-pony returned to my side, looking a little tired. “Well, one of the patients, who had a very similar anatomy to yours, actually, just escaped the hospital for whatever reason.” Nurse Redheart scrunched up her face for a second, “Why did he leave? We were only attempting to help him out..” With the familiar face, I couldn’t help but smile a little even in my deep-seated pain and confusion. “Eh.. there’s another human here?” I ask, becoming even more puzzled. She replied, “There was! Until now..”

I scrubbed my face with a hand. If all this was really real.. I felt weird and as if I shouldn’t belong here at the moment, but at least I had the comfort in knowing that someone of my kind did exist. Maybe he could even tell me how I got here. I sure hope there’s more than just one other human, I thought. “So, nurse, um.. how did I get to this hospital..?” I asked, hesitantly. Walking around to the side of my bed, she looks at me with concern in her eyes, eyebrows slanted a little. “I’m not certain. All I know is that a few work ponies found you out in the middle of the Sweet Apple Acres with a gaping hole in your head,” Redheart said, “And when we performed surgery on you, there was some sort of oval-ish metal thing inside of your head. I don’t know what it was.”

With this odd turn of events, I didn’t know quite how I was supposed to react. I was feeling kind of tired after this news, although still grateful for the service, even if those who had saved my life had been of a different species. It felt odd, really. I uttered a small word of thanks before I settled the back of my head on the fluffy pillow once more and drifted off to a sleep filled with confusing nightmares of ponies with scalpels.

2 - First Impressions

______________________________________________________________________________

( v-- Dovanies)

“Huh? What the hell happened?” I woke up, looking at the ceiling and hardly able to shift my vision from it. While attempting to grasp the surrounding environment, I figured out that I was bound into the bed I lay on. Angrily, I tried to break free, but it was no use. There was no light at all except a lamp on the other side of the room. I hear the sounds of hooves on the floor again - reminiscent of earlier when that nurse-pony scared me shitless. Sure enough, that same nurse came cantering through the doorway with an almost business-like air.

“Hello,” the pink-haired pony said. “I trust you know why you’re in bindings, right?” I glared at her without reply. “No? Well.. the doctors and I found you to be too volatile to be left unrestricted.” Volatile? No shit, I have no idea where I am and I’m talking to you... and you’re replying.

“Sorry to say but until you behave yourself, you are to remain here and rest.” I struggled to get the bindings off of me but to no avail. “So, I’ll be back later to check on you. Please, we are just trying to help you. If you behave, we will lose your bindings and you will get to leave.” I thought about what she said. She sounded sincere and looking back, I acted pretty dumb when she was just trying to help. I must have scared her out of her wits - I feel like a complete ass.

“I’ll be going now. If you can control yourself, I’ll let you meet another patient with a similar anatomy to yours.” Similar anatomy! Does she mean another human? Has to be. He probably knows something - probably knows something about how we got here.

“Nurse, wait!” I called out to her but she had already closed the door. “I need to get out of this. Stat. Instead of pointlessly struggling against the bindings again, I took a closer look and saw that these were belts. How these.... ‘ponies’ buckled me in without fingers is another story but for now I saw that the belts were wrapped around the frame. It looked like my struggling loosened them a bit but they were on pretty well.

However, there was one fatal flaw these ‘ponies’ forgot to take into account - They put one buckle right next to my left hand. I was home-free by now. I took my thumb and shoved into the ‘inside part’ of the buckle and lifted the belt. It was working, I took my index and middle fingers and started pulling the belt out. This was tedious as hell due to the rough texture of the belt but I managed to unbuckle the damn thing. “Checkmate...” The belt holding my arms was off and I hastily removed the others holding down the rest of my body.

“I have really good fingers.” I said to myself. Sometimes my skinny stature and bony hands can come in handy. I was free at last. I regained full control over my limbs. I stretched my arms and legs and bended my tired back which resulted in a satisfying crack.

I opened the door and peeked out into barren hallway. It was empty, for now. I stepped outside and closed the door, careful not to slam it. I started to walk down the hallways, peeking around corners whenever I reached one. There were some patrols out but I was quiet enough for them not to notice. I stopped for a quick break to collect my thoughts and think about my next move.

“All right, let’s review: I may have not died in a violent car crash, I am in a hospital that is being run by cartoon ponies, I may be hallucinating, and I there probably is another human here.” I ran all these things through my head but they only served to make things worse for me. Why am I here? I should be in Heaven or Purgatory or whatever, not in a cartoon! Maybe this was my consciousness creating this world. Quite unlikely since I was tackled and sedated - I could still feel that sting in my neck.

“Where the hell is Nurse Redheart?” a voice said, out of the blue. My ears perked up like a deer who just heard a lion about to maul him to death. I turned to my right and down the hallway and I saw this.... human in a tuxedo - what are the odds? I got up and sprinted toward the guy, ecstatic to meet another of my kind and bombard him with questions. However, my converse begged to differ and I tripped and fell right near him.

Crash!

Er.. not the best way to introduce myself.

The guy in the monkey suit put a hand in front of my face. I hesitated for a moment, still formulating some kind of plan. Then I took his hand and used his support to rise back to my feet. I step back from him in preparation for my attack - I quickly tackle the other human and grab his shoulder, pushing him roughly to the wall. While I hadn’t intended to really harm him, he still let out a yelp thanks to the force behind the push. I quickly begin thinking of my next move.

______________________________________________________________________________

( v-- Shadonies )

The ceiling was dark. Er, the ceiling was the first thing I saw when I woke up, anyways. Looking around the familiar setting from earlier that day, I noticed how much easier it was for me to move my head around with less pain. Experimenting, I sat up in the hospital bed. A slight twinge in my spine, but otherwise it felt pretty normal. Invigorated with my ability to move around once more, I quickly stood out of the bed and jogged in place for a few seconds, then stopped again. Just a little winded, but that was to be expected. Otherwise, my recovery was superb! This hospital’s inhabitants were either extremely talented or I was actually in Equestria - where magic could handle most major problems if used in enough of a proportion. Being in Equestria was still too big of an idea for my mind in that moment, so I went with ‘talented’.

I can’t quite relate to you how relieved and thankful I felt in those silent moments alone with myself in that hospital room. Stretching my limbs and cracking both my knuckles and neck, it felt good to be mobile! I walked right out of the door, with no resistance whatsoever, rubbing the back of my neck - the cracking hurt a bit. Continuing along some stretches of hallway, I peered in the connected rooms occasionally - all of the other patients seemed to be ponies. Shaking my head, I wondered, once again, whether I was still hallucinating or if it was all actually the truth. I started to jog lightly, getting back into the feel of my appendages. Occasionally, there were stairs. I went down, but it appeared to go nowhere special.

“This sucks. I can’t find the exit, I can’t find the nurse, and I can’t find any other sign of life aside from the sleeping patients.”

In short, I got completely lost. Pathetic, isn’t it, to get lost in a hospital? Wandering around, I started to wonder if I would get to see the night sky outside. Maybe I could ask a nurse or doctor if one ever showed up.. but that was the problem, since my initial encounter with the nurse-pony, I had met no-one else. I didn’t think that the possibility of finding her again was very large, either. So I just walked around for a bit, fruitlessly searching for the exit and only confusing myself more in the process.

When I finally saw a light, it was just an empty office whose owner must have vacated the building. Disappointed, I kept searching the surrounding rooms and hallways. At night, hospitals could really be confusing. And creepy. Putting my hand up to my chin, I asked myself aloud, “Where the hell is Nurse Redheart..?”

Suddenly, I heard this actual stepping sound from behind me - not like hooves from earlier! Turning around, I saw a fellow human in a full black outfit. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so even though he blended in well, I still saw as the guy came at me as I raised my hands in defense - but he fell flat on his face right in front of me. Realizing my hands were still held up, I dropped my defense and looked at the dude. I kneeled in front of him and held my hand out, asking, “Would you like some assistance, bro?”

After a second’s hesitation, the guy grabbed my hand and leaned forward as I helped his ascent onto his feet again. Once he’s all the way up, he steps back and lifts his eyes up to meet mine. In a moment, he lunges at me and grabs me by the shoulders, forcing me to the wall and inciting a yelp out of me. I’m a little dazed for a few seconds.

3 - Impurities [Mature]

(Just to warn you.. This chapter is weird. It starts off in third-person then goes to the other character viewpoints. It also has shecks.)

“Okay, look. I just woke up in hospital after losing my friends and my life in a car crash. I was tackled, injected with a needle, and woke up strapped to a bed. This was all done by small, talking cartoon ponies. I don’t know whether my sanity is intact or if this is all a very vivid dream, so.. forgive me for pinning you here, but I’m just trying to be careful,” Hector hastily explained to his temporary prisoner.

In his hindsight, he realized that this was a little bit extreme, but he didn’t want to take any chances. He had too many things in his mind and was having a very difficult time processing them. A human wearing a tuxedo, who just conveniently happened to be there, was not helping - who wears a tux as casual clothing!?

“Look, man. I think the most reasonable thing to do is-” Zero started, but then he quickly retaliated by kneeing his black-clothed captor in the stomach. Hector recoiled and let go of Zero’s shoulders so he could soothe his stomach. However, he didn’t have enough time to do so as Zero then threw him onto the floor. With a thud, Hector landed on the clean, tiled ground, dazed. The tuxedo-clad man towered over Hector as the monkey-suit wearer brought a foot down onto his chest, pinning him on the floor.

“Listen, The past few hours were - stop struggling! - the past few hours were really stressful for me, too. I want answers as much as you do, but I’ll be the one asking the questions here. Deal?” There was no point in Hector struggling to get free, so he simply complied while thinking of a way to escape.

“First thing’s first: Where am I?” asked Zero. Although he already had a good guess as to where he was, he wanted some sort of outside confirmation.

“Your guess is as good as mine, man. I have no idea,” replied Hector. This was half the truth. Like Zero, Hector had a good idea on where he was but he refused to believe it. It just made no sense!

“What?! What do you mean, you don’t know?” growled the tuxedo man. Irritation was clearly present in his voice. The bothersome hipster in black had to know something!

“Meaning, I DO NOT know where we are or how we got here. All I remember is-” Hector switched the tables on Zero: Hector violently flipped onto his stomach, tripping up Zero due to his foot being on the other human's chest, Hector quickly got on his feet, dusting himself off in front of a bewildered Zero. Escape was this guy’s specialty.

“Before you come at me again, just hear me out. I do not know how we got here but I do know that I don’t wanna start any problems with perhaps the only human in this place.” Hector gave Zero his hand and helped the other human to his feet. Zero looked up to the ceiling, lost in his own troubled thoughts.

“I’m so sorry for attacking you, bro. I was under alot of stress and I was so overcome with relief when I found you. Guess I was a little ecstatic.... My name’s Hector.” said the apologetic young man. Once again, he extended his arm to greet his fellow man; doing it the right way this time.

“Ecstatic? Stress? My ass.. the name’s Zero. Nice to meetcha.. I guess.” Zero replied, breaking free from his stupor. They shook hands and managed to keep physical confrontation to a minimum, at least they thought they did on the latter. As they let go of each other’s hands, they sat down on the floor. Neither of them saying a word. Both men took comfort in the hallways calm, silent darkness. Hector’s eyelids grew heavy. After all the craziness that had occurred in the past few hours, it was nice to get a moment of peace. Before he could fall asleep, Zero spoke up, breaking the serene silence.

“Hey,” he said, out of the blue.

“Snort. Huh? Oh, what is it?” said Hector, groggy. He was about to have some shut-eye when the monkey suit man robbed him of that.

“What happened when you woke up in this hospital?” asked Zero. He specifically remembered the nurse-pony he met, Nurse Redheart, checking on him and later telling him she was going to check on a patient with a similar anatomy as his.

“Well, I woke up after.. never mind that. I woke up in what looked like a hospital room. I got up and checked myself for any damage. After that, a.. nurse walked in to check on me but.. it wasn’t the kind of nurse you would expect to see!” Hector cried. He could not - he would not believe it but in reality, he knew that none of this was fabricated.

I knew it! He saw her too. This is really happening after all, Zero thought. “So.. how exactly did you get here, by the way? My memory’s a little foggy at the moment, but the last thing I remember is being shot in the head by some guy who came to steal my stuff,” he said, “but that’s all in the past now.”

You seem pretty calm about that, thought Hector. “Damn, man. I’m sorry... I-I got in a car crash. I really wanted to avoid saying that. It only reminds me of the life I just lost and all the things I never got to do but it is what it is. Anyway, next thing I knew was that I woke up on a bed and.. you know the re-” Hector explained, but the sound of hooves on the floor stopped their conversation abruptly.

The same nurse pony from earlier walked into the hallway and looked at the two human men on the floor. “Well, I’m glad you two have met.. and managed not to kill each other in the process,” the nurse - who both humans recognized as Nurse Redheart from My Little Pony - said, standing in front of them.

Hector and Zero both stood up, towering high above the female pony.

“Uh, hello nurse. How are you?” Hector asked, awkwardly. Zero just snickered behind him.

“I’ll ask how you got out of your restraints later. Right now, I want the both of you to return to your rooms and-” Before she could continue, Zero cut her off.

“Look, Nurse Redheart. We have no idea how we got here or where we really are. So before we do anything else, we will get some answers.” Zero said. He wanted answers and he wanted them now, dammit!

“Very well. What would you like to know?” Redheart asked. Zero scooted his fellow human to the side and began his interrogation.

“Where are we?” he asked, first of all.

“You’re in Equestria, of course. If you’re asking specifically, you would be in the Ponyville Hospital at this moment,” she replied, “and both of you are here because of critical injuries,” Redheart explained. Both humans had stony expressions. Did they hear that correctly? Did she really just say-

“Equestria! Ponyville! Is that what you said?” asked Hector in disbelief. Zero, however, had his suspicions confirmed. “You’re- you’re bluffing right?”

“No, I am not. You two are in Ponyville, the nicest town this side of Equestria. Anything else?” she replied. Hector would have to save his pent-up frustration some other time, right now he wanted to know one last thing. He stepped in front of the tuxedo man and spoke up:

“Where was I found?” he asked. He was dying to know as much as he could.

“You were found next to a building called the Carousel Boutique. According to the mares who found you, you appeared right outside with massive bleeding and cuts around your body. You were brought in, the surgeons stitched up your wounds, got rid of the dried blood and healed the scars using magic.” she explained. Hector looked at her dumbfounded. He got the message; he was in a cartoon. He was in Ponyville.

Carousel Boutique.. mares.. magic.. nurse-pony.. seems legit enough, Hector’s mind was on overload. All those words just baffled him, yet he just shook his head.

“Okay...” he simply stated.

“Well, now that that’s done, can you both go to your beds, please?” she asked. Redheart was growing tired of saying that over and over again.

“Yeah, sure. I’m going back to bed. That’s about as much as my sanity can take. I am in desperate need of some shut-eye... I can tell tomorrow’s going to be a very, very busy day. Good-bye and good night.” Hector bade good-bye to the two individuals and made his way back to his room to get some well-deserved sleep and think things over.

Leaving behind the tuxedo-clad man, Zero, and the now seemingly-‘real’ Nurse Redheart.

_____________________________________________________________________________

(Dovah)

As I left the weirdo and the nurse, I started my walk back to my room - the words Ponyville and Equestria were buzzing in my head like an angry hornet. I was actually in MLP, in Ponyville, no less! I contemplated the idea that my mind was just creating all this but, again, that was just not the case. I felt the floor underneath my feet, I could breathe in the air, I talked to the nurse and I felt the pain from when that guy in the tux pinned me.

“Zero? ..What kind of name is ‘Zero’?” I said. I was oddly surprised that he didn’t look like that kid from ‘Holes’. He seemed trustworthy enough but I still didn’t know much about him - I would have to keep a close eye on him.

It wasn’t long until I reached the place where it all began, the hospital room I woke up in. I opened the door to reveal the simple, blue colored room. I glanced at the bed, noticing the loosened belts from my improbable escape. I turned to look at the window; the night peered through the white shutters, giving the bland room a tranquil atmosphere. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I took off my jacket and threw it to the corner of the room. I shuffled towards the bed, knock of my shoes and placing them next to the bed. The white mattress and and purple quilt beckoning me. I crawled into the bed, experiencing a euphoric sensation traveling across my tired, achy back.

“Rainbow Dash should have loved to stay here...” I said absentmindedly. Quickly reminding myself of where I was, I started to ponder my next step when I leave for ‘Ponyville’. Where do I go? What do I do? Should I meet all the characters or avoid them? Should I settle down in this place or should I try to find a way back? Fuck it! I’ll just have to see what happens tomorrow and just go with it.

I thought I heard a female moan through the wall. I brushed it off as my imagination. My mind is tired and needs rest. I covered myself in the violet quilt, ready to see what escapades I would get into with the ‘ponies’ tomorrow.

I drifted into a deep sleep. It was one of the best I had in weeks..

.

.

.

THUMP!

I was awakened by a painful blow to my torso. I looked up to see who the perpetrator was but my vision was blocked by a set of golden eyes.

“You do exist! I knew it!” a mint pony with yellow peepers and sea-foam highlights greeted my vision. It was female by sound of it. I moved my head back in confusion, gaining a better look at the room and this pony. The door was blocked by a wooden chair, possibly to let anyone else in. I looked back to the pony - she was on top of me, lightly jumping on me with a deranged smile on her. I moved my hands towards her to get her off but she grabbed them with her hooves (somehow) and inspected them.

“You actually have them! You have hands! Oh my goodness, you have hands!” said the pony. Her grin was getting larger to the point where it looked like she was going to break her jaw.

“What the hell? Get off me!” I yelled as I snatched my hands back. She still had that psychotic grin plastered on her face. She started to playfully bounce on me yet again. I looked down her sides and spotted her cutie mark: a harp.. or lyre, if you want to be specific. Obsession with hands, mint or aqua coat with sea-foam highlights, and harp for a cutie mark. Yep, this had to be Lyra.

“Oh, you are so handsome too.” She trailed her hoof down my chest and stopped at my stomach. Her eyelids closed halfway and her smile shortened to a seductive one. I knew where this was going, I had to act fast! “I wonder...” Lyra started rubbing her ‘lower section’ on my crotch, letting out excited moans. Uh, no thank you.

“Hell no!” I quickly grabbed her by her sides and flipped her on the bed, to her surprise. I grabbed the purple quilt and hastily wrapped her in it - avoiding her spastic hooves from meeting my face. I fell off the bed and went to scoop up my shoes and jacket. The knot I tied was not going to last. If she gets out... I might want to avoid thinking about that.

“Don’t run from me! I’ve never seen a human!” the mint, deranged pony yelled from the her violet prison. I speedily tied my converse and put on my jacket. I heard ripping noises from behind but ignored them to get to the blocked door - I wouldn’t dare look back.

I kicked the wooden chair out of my way in desperation, all the while hearing sexual threats being spewed at me from the maniac that was Lyra. I grasped the knob and turned, awaiting salvation. However, the knob refused to comply; the door was locked from the other side!

I felt my feet give way and found myself hitting the floor, hard. I was in pain, the world was spinning, my head felt fuzzy, and I saw a mint blob enter my disoriented vision. I moved my arms in action but the blob pinned them down - I saw a point on it glowing and noticed my hands wrapped in the same aura. My vision went back to normal. The blob was Lyra, her right eye was twitching, she had that deranged smile on again, and the quilt was in tatters.

“Fuck.” I said in defeat.

“I will...” she replied. Lyra licked my neck - and her tongue was ice-cold.

.

.

.

“AAHHH!!” I screamed in fear. I rose up and saw... nothing. Nothing at all except for the same hospital room I saw before. The walls were the same color, the bed was fine, I wasn’t being abused by a cartoon three feet shorter than me, and my shoes and jacket were right where they were. Everything was the same as the I left it the previous night. Only difference was the window - instead of the comfy moonlight, I was greeted by a beautiful sunrise, the orange rays painting the hospital room. I removed the quilt and inspected the bed, no psychotic, rapist pony here.

“Just a fucking nightmare. A really bad one.” I sighed in relief, thankful it was all a dream. Out of nowhere, I heard the door knob move and a split-second later, the nurse-pony, Nurse Redheart, entered the room. A relaxed look on her face.

Well, time to start my first day in Ponyville.. I mentally reminded myself as the nurse gave a warm smile.

_____________________________________________________________________________

(Shad)

While the other guy left to go to his bed, I hung around for a few minutes. Nurse Redheart looked at me expectantly, so I eventually made my way to my own bed.

Redheart sighed as I laid down. “Sorry about all that.. I, uh.. we don’t come from around here.” I apologized meekly.

“Yes, yes. I could tell from your anatomy. It isn’t anything like anything we’ve ever seen. Yet, you’ve got as much intelligence as us, so you must have been taught somehow. I will assume that you are as smart as any other pony while dealing with you, so if I am too strict, forgive me.” With that, she turns around and begins to head towards the door. Before she can go, though, I call out - “Wait!” Redheart turns around with an expectant look on her face.

“Yes?”

“I would like to know.. would you happen to be Nurse Redheart?”

“...Yes, did another patient tell you?”

“No, I..” I muttered. Shit, I thought, it’s really her.. now I’ve gotta think of some way to explain how I know.. “Well, er, you’re kinda famous in the land I come from. We’ve got groups of us who enjoy watching events in Ponyville.” ..Close enough to the truth.

Redheart paused for a few seconds. “Famous? Me? I don’t see why.. I’m just your average nurse-pony,” she said, seeming a little distant before responding, “.. how do your kind view us? A sort of magic? Do members of your species have horns..?”

“Uh, no, none of us have horns. I guess you could say we have a created form of magic, though,” I replied, “which allows us to view things from afar, lift heavy objects, and a lot of other convenient things.”

“Hmm.. your culture sounds much more interesting than ours.”

“No.. trust me, the place we live in is a true hell compared to Equestria.”

“A true what?”

“... Er, nevermind. It’s a really bad place that some of us humans believe in.”

“Interesting.. I would like to further study your anatomy and the history of your species as soon as possible,” Redheart concluded, “but for tonight, you should rest.” She began to leave once more, but I couldn’t help another outburst.

“But.. I’m not even tired. I couldn’t be more awake after what happened.”

Again, she stopped, but it seemed she was less irritated than the first time. “Ah, yes, your injury.. I could see why such an impact to your skull would keep you alert,” Nurse Redheart said, “but tell me, how exactly did such an injury occur?”

I laid silently for a moment. “I guess you could say it was one of the many darker sides to the magic we own. A side of our magic that is meant to take lives.” I told her, with a grim tone. “Not often at all do people live on after damage like I had. I still can’t believe I’m in.. this great place.” If I’m really and truly in Equestria, I thank whatever greater power arranged this..

“You’re alive,” Redheart states, “and that’s what we strive for.”

“.. That’s.. wonderful of you to do. Did you become a nurse for that kind of thing?” I asked.

“I did. Saving lives.. I wanted to do that ever since I was just a little filly. Cutie marks never seem to be wrong. Mine is no exception - I’m good at what I do, and I love doing it.”

“I wish I had the bravery or talent of doctors and nurses.. they save people no matter how gruesome the injury, and have precision better than the best archers.”

“Everyone has their own special talent. If you haven’t found yours yet, you will someday. Everypony in Equestria will tell you the same thing.”

“..Thanks. I didn’t think so at first, but you’re actually really nice, aren’t you?”

Redheart rolled her eyes and sighed. “It’s hard, sometimes, working a job like this. You have to see things you never wanted to see and deal with crazed patients on a daily basis. It’s hard to stay sympathetic all the time.”

“I know.. well, I kind of know how you feel. Everyone around your workplace is dying or insane, and you’re one of the only ponies that aren’t. I feel sorry for ya, but if you’re able to look past all that stuff.. you must be a real tough woman.”

“Tough?.. No, I still can’t quite bear to look at the more excruciating surgical procedures. I simply hand the tools to the surgeon pony, and not much else.”

“Still, you must be very nice if you’re only in the job for the pleasure of bringing patients back to health.”

“.. You’re an odd one. Why do you compliment me so..? It’s.. simply my job to save lives. I like doing it, but..”

“Have you ever had another patient so near death? If you did, you’d know that they would remember you until they truly died. What you do.. is not simply a job. It requires patience, kindness, and a true passion!” I exclaimed, interrupting her in mid-sentence.

Redheart looked away for a moment, an embarrassed smile on her face. “You’re too kind. I’m not sure if I deserve those words, but you seem to be a different breed of patient, both in mindset and species. Many of the ponies here would just like to be free from this place, or they’d be grateful only to the doctors themselves.”

“Nurses help doctors. If they didn’t help them, the patients might not have enough time.”

“I.. guess you’re right. I hadn’t really taken that into consideration before. Thank you for the kind words.”

“Don’t mention it. I got lots more where that came from,” I joke.

The nurse-pony walked back over to the bed I was currently lying in, her hooves making little clopping noises as she made her way over to me. “You’re the nicest patient I’ve had that I can remember right now. I wish I had something to give to you, but my money probably isn’t worth much where you come from. If you’re going back later, that is.”

It took me a moment to decide, but the overall choice was very easy to make. “Nah, I think I’ll stay in Equestria for a while. This place is pretty awesome, especially if the other ponies out there are anything like you.”

At that, Redheart grinned almost uncharacteristically, transforming the face with frown lines into a mask of joy. “I think I know what you deserve. I hope you’ll remember me like you said.. your words feel better to me than you’ll ever know,” she said, beaming, “and .. I hope what I do next doesn’t come off too badly.”

With the last sentence, she surprised me and jumped onto the bed with a feminine grunt. She was still smiling a little, the pearly-white teeth peeping out at me. Nurse Redheart shuffled above my body and laid on top of me in the hospital bed, bringing her face close to mine. “This is oddly nice,” I commented, quickly and effortlessly brushing off the fact that I was about to get screwed by a pony. She blushed a little, but nevertheless I began to run my hands through the nurse-pony’s pink hair, gently untying it and allowing it to fall into straight strands.

Though I had never seen Redheart without her hair done in a bun, she didn’t seem to mind right now. I could easily tell that this wasn’t her first time, but Redheart still seemed to have a lack of confidence in her movements, coming off as a bit shy with her body - surprising, considering her career.

“I’d like to study your anatomy.. a little more intimately..” she suggested in a soft undertone. Nurse Redheart allowed me to pull her closer, and I lightly licked the corners of her mouth. Giggling a little, she allowed my tongue entry, and we exchanged saliva as my left hand pulled her into the kiss, and my right rested on her rump, squishing and rotating it in my palm.

Passionately intertwining tongues, I felt her hold onto my back with her two front hooves. Redheart’s back legs, on both sides of me, lowered her moist opening onto my pants, where I could feel the warmth even through the fabric. She began to rub herself up and down, teasing my privates and pushing herself further into my tongue’s embrace. I quickly fumbled with my fancy black pants, cursing the thing’s complexity.

It felt weird to be doing this with another species, but.. it also felt truly right in my mind. After a few seconds of the merciless grinding, Redheart pulled out of my kiss and simply used her teeth to toss my pants off. Following her example, I swiftly throw off my tuxedo and the underwear I had worn underneath the pants. I was so hard at this point that all of me yearned to fill the inside of Nurse Redheart’s already sopping wet pink pussy. Redheart gasped as she laid her eyes on my member, eyes growing wide in surprise and a bit of fear.

I wondered what exactly was wrong, so I asked. “What is it?”

“You’re.. you’re very well endowed.” she replied, blinking slowly.

“I thought you did a full body check-up? Wouldn’t you already know?”

“It was limp, but.. at the time, I didn’t know that.. I had thought you had rigor mortis.. from your near-death..” She still seemed somewhat taken-aback.

“Eh..?”

“How will I ever fit this inside of me..?!” Redheart said, sounding worried.

“I dunno.. let’s find out!” I cried suddenly, using my hands to take the advantage while I could.

Before she knew it, I had rolled over on top of her and held her back hooves to each side, spreading her legs and letting little dribbles of bodily fluids leak from her snatch.

“Wait, I don’t think it’ll..” Redheart started, partially covering her eyes with her hooves, but I wasn’t quite ready to insert yet. I grabbed her flank with my left hand, shaking my hair a little before I lowered my head towards the inviting gap. Settling my face upon her mound, I brought my right hand near it and dipped my thumb as far as it would go into the very top of her vagina, feeling for the knot. My finger felt around it in circles at the beginning, then I was scratching and prodding as I forced my tongue out of my mouth and inside the gaping hole, licking the odd-tasting yet addictive fluids from her insides.

I was barely aware of the shrieking and moaning I was eliciting from her, but my actions were making it hard to control myself. In the instinctual haze, I grabbed both of her hind legs roughly below her flanks and drilled my tongue further inside her. I opened and closed my mouth several times to swallow the stream of juices now flooding from Redheart’s stimulated opening. I could hear a scream as I ate her out, then with a final triumphant lick, a splash of her vaginal fluids coated the lower portion of my face.

I knew I was already harder than I’d ever been in my entire life, but I had to steal a glance at Nurse Redheart’s face. It was contorted in exhaustion, she was panting heavily and drooling slightly from the corner of her mouth. When she noticed my observation, Redheart tried to smile, with little success. I wiped her juices off of my face and grabbed my rock-hard penis with my slightly-moistened right hand.

Nurse Redheart tried to make a protest, but her efforts were wasted in the deep-throated breaths she was taking. With a little grin, I poked at the entrance and slowly circled my tip around the outside of the vagina. Placing the whole shaft on the lips of her pussy, I thrusted forward and backward, teasing her back for earlier as my cock stroked a little bit of her insides with every movement. The light moaning began once again.

I already felt ready to explode everywhere from all this playing, so I decided to end teasing her abruptly. Grabbing my manhood again, I pressured it into position just in front of the pre-lubricated opening and pushed the tip in slowly. Nurse Redheart was attempting to hold in the unladylike noises now, but I could still hear a little come through her mouth.

The rest of the thick rod sank in rather swiftly inside of the moistened cave of quickly tightening pink flesh. A feeling of euphoria broke through the dullness that usually came with visiting a hospital, a feeling that overcame much of my other emotions at the time. Her insides quivered around my hard member as I stopped deep inside of her - the only portion of my privates still visible was the package itself. With an odd feeling of accomplishment, I laid a hand on her stomach and felt the lower part of it, finding the hard little bump my penis had now created.

Grabbing the right side of her stomach and holding her left leg high in the air, I ignored Redheart’s cries for me to stop and continued to push all the way inside with every rough thrust I could manage. I grunted with each forceful entry, averting my face from the nurse-pony’s uncontrollable bucking as she came for the second time in a row, so close to the first. The warm and wet pussy juice let me propel myself into her even faster than before, and Redheart seemed to have trouble taking air in.

I felt the intensity come upon me before I could even believe it, and I bent over Redheart and grabbed her shoulders. Using this new leverage to pound my erect cock all the way to the entrance to her womb, I couldn’t hold back myself any longer. The heavy pressure on my penis only built further even as I tried with all my might to hold the inevitable off. Some tears streamed down Nurse Redheart’s face, but her moans were high in ecstasy and pleasure.

Biting my lower lip with the intense rush of satisfaction that had started to creep over me, I couldn’t handle the knot that was threatening. Pressing myself inside Redheart one last time, I shot my load far into her with a final scream rising from her throat. The hot and sticky whitish semen coated the nurse’s violently trembling insides and poured out around my cock as I panted just as heavily as she had been. Nurse Redheart was now visibly shaking from the experience and had her tongue lolling out from her renewed and even worsened heavy breathing.

I was exhausted, exhausted worse than ever before. I pulled out my dick slowly and carefully, examining the dribble of cum rolling out along with it with a strange interest. Suddenly feeling the need to take a nap, I dropped my member and laid down on Nurse Redheart, taking her breath into my own mouth as I wrapped my tongue around hers and kissed her deeply. She pulled into it at first, but her head tilted back after a few seconds, and she was unconscious right then and there. Briefly noting this fact, I then buried my face into her wonderfully soft and furry chest, approaching my own dreamland for the night.

4 - Surprise!

(D)

“Why, good morning. How are you?” Nurse Redheart said to me, a sincere smile on her face. I could tell something had happened to her - she was more rigid with me yesterday. What was up with this change in attitude? I got up off the bed and stretched my limbs, resulting in several exquisite cracks. I began to tie my shoes on, making some idle conversation with Redheart.

“Nurse, you seem to be more.. relaxed this morning.” I asked. She got a little flustered and her face turned red. “Anything happen yesterday that could elicit such change?” I cheekily said, putting on my best duck face.

“Oh.. um, well I.. I just had a good night’s sleep. Yes, that’s it,” Redheart stammered, having a sheepish smile plastered on her face. It was obvious that she was lying to me. When a cartoon lies, it is ridiculously easy to tell when. I gave her a suspicious look in which she decided to change the subject. “I am here to, uh, inform you that you are able to leave the hospital,” she said.

“Already? Is it a good idea for a new species to run around the town without informing its citizens?” I pointed this out. As much as I wanted to leave, I don’t think I would like to cause a panic. Nurse Redheart smiled at me, leaving her previous demeanor and returning to her cheery one.

“Don’t worry. On my way here, the doctors told me that they gave you one last check-up during the night. They deemed you healthy and able to move. However, they are still worried about your mental state. After your little ‘episode’ yesterday, they don’t think you should leave.” She explained to me. The doctors were right about one thing, though: My mental state is questionable. Ever since I was 5, others around me had many ‘unfortunate’ accidents due to my temper and sanity.. but that tale is for another time. Redheart continued to speak:

“However, if you can prove to them that you can control yourself, they will let you go. As for the town, they already know.” Redheart said.

“What!” I said in surprise.

“Yes. When you and your friend were found...” She giggled when she mentioned the tuxedo man, Zero. “...The whole town was buzzing with talk about the strange aliens that came from nowhere! I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town is out there," she told me. The entire town knows. It beats introductions. I walked to the corner and got my jacket, I put it on and turned to Redheart.

“Alright, Nurse Redheart. Let’s go.” I told her. She nodded and gestured for me to follow. I took one final look back into my room and walked out the door.

So, we are meeting the doctors first, right?” I asked, rhetorically. We were walking down the hallway, passing some doors. There were nurses walking about the halls, giving me nervous looks. Some of the nurses were some that I hadn’t even seen from the show. If this is Equestria, than it is actually its own little world; not bound by a script the writers write, or behaves how the animators want the ponies to act. This Equestria could actually be detached from Earth! It is its own Universe! I’m getting ahead of myself. It sounds logical but I might need more proof.

“Are you okay?” a voice broke me out of my thoughts. It was Redheart - she looked at me with worried eyes. I told her it was nothing, that I was just day-dreaming. She decided to leave it alone and continued walking.

“Where is the other human?” I asked. She blushed again when I mentioned him. What the hell was up with that?

“He is in his room. I wanted to check on you first. To see how you were doing and to explain the situation to you. I’ll return to him after I am done with you.” Redheart told me. l returned my attention to the halls as we both turned a corner, nearing a group of three male.. pony-doctors having a conversation. My tall stature got their attention and almost immediately, they surrounded me.

“It is very intriguing when it’s not trying to escape,” said a doctor.

“How does it stand on its back legs so easily?” said another.

“... And those claws! They are beastly! Fascinating!.” added another doctor, looking at my fingers with a bewildered expression.

Cheeky bastards - treating me like a specimen instead of a living, sentient creature. If wasn’t trying to earn their trust, I would have rammed my foot up their asses.

“I can understand you, you know. Isn’t kind of rude to treat a patient like some sort of wild beast?” The three doctors recoiled in fear and amazement, mostly fear, at my ability to speak in complete sentences. “I don’t blame you, though. Considering I did behave like a wild beast in a futile attempt of escape. I can assure you, however, that I can behave as a civilized being if I wasn't tackled, syringed and buckled to a bed.” I continued. They just kept on looking at me with blank expressions. At least that shut them up.

“Doctors, here is the ‘new’ patient that was found.” Redheart broke the awkward silence. The three doctors shook their heads and focused on me again, studying me. It was unnerving being looked at like this. Hope Twilight doesn't act like this. Eventually, one of the doctors, one with a brown mane and caramel coat, stopped looking at me and addressed me.

“What is your name?” the doctor asked, his blue eyes looking in mine. I’d seen this doctor from the show before.

“My name is Hector. I am human, a being part of an innovative species capable of magnificent feats in the fields of medicine, architecture, engineering, technology and so on.” I said to them. Both the doctors and the nurse held flabbergasted expressions with their mouths agape. I thought if adding those little tidbits about humans might help convince these jack-offs to let me go - I should avoid telling them what humans are actually capable of.

“How is it possible for your species to do that?” said another doctor I did not recognize.

“We have the ability to think and reason but we owe most our success to these.” I wiggled my digits in front of them to show off my hands. “Now let’s cut to the chase. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in hospital so can I go into the town now?” I responded, exasperated. I’m going to be blunt with these guys. The faster I can convince them, the better. Finally, the same doctor with the caramel coat spoke up, his blue eyes boring into mine again.

“Well, you aren’t showing any signs of bleeding and the scars have disappeared. So I would say that you are free to go.” He told me. I grinned at the first bit of good news in a while. “However, we don’t exactly trust you after the fiasco you pulled yesterday.” the doctor said. They are still holding that against me? I’m going to set something straight.

“Look, Doctor.” I spat out that last word. “I know why you are suspicious of me. I mean, a different species randomly appearing out of thin air. It being capable of speech and escape, no less.” I told them. “However, that escape attempt was of a good reason.” I continued.

“And what reason may that be?” a doctor off to my side bluntly asked. I looked at him.

“I was scared, okay. I panicked because I had absolutely no idea where I was. I was greeted by a new species I’ve never encountered.” I looked at Redheart and she looked away in embarrassment. “I know what I did was over-the-top but what would you do if you were in that situation?” I asked him. He furrowed his brow and gave me a sympathetic smile.

“I’m sure it would be very startling if I was in that spot. Wouldn’t you two agree?” He looked at the two doctors behind and they nodded in agreement. The caramel doctor faced me again.

“Do you promise to behave yourself once you're out there?” he asked me, a serious look on his face.

“Yes, sir. I swear to you that I will not get into any problems once I am out of this establishment.” I told him, determination and honesty ever present in my expression. He adjusted his glasses and smiled at me.

“The exit is down this hall. Take a right. Good luck and please, don’t make me regret this.” Satisfaction filled me as he said those words. I was finally out of here! Granted, I could have just sneaked out but whatever. He smiled at his colleagues and turned to the nurse, ever present throughout the entire exchange.

“Nurse, tell the other ‘special’ patient that he is ready to leave. He has no brain damage nor any other grievous injury. Good luck, young colt.” He said. I could have corrected him but he left before he could say anything. The other doctors gave one more look and disappeared down the halls.

“Well, I should go get your friend. Take care.” Redheart turned to leave but I stopped her with a grunt. She turned to me, and before she could ask what was wrong, I hugged her. She felt soft and fuzzy. I felt her hoof wrap around my neck, she was returning the hug. Hugging the nurse was like hugging a pillow fresh out of the wash. She was soft and cuddly and smelled like... sweat and frustration.

“I need to get going. Have a nice time in Ponyville. See if you can reach Town Hall without making a scene.” She chuckled as she let go. Redheart waved her hoof at me and turned the corner, oblivious to my blank expression and shivering body.

“...That must have been why she was blushing.” I said aloud. The blushing at the mention of the tux guy. It made sense. She and Zero...

Dropping the subject quickly, I turned on my heels and made my way down the hallway, ignoring passing nurses and patients.

.

.

.

I passed the sliding doors that led out into Ponyville, looking at my jacket and dusting it off in middle of doing that. I looked up and leapt back. In front of me were hundreds of eyes looking straight at me - straight into my soul, perhaps. In front of me was a clear blue sky, a cartoony village, and ponies. Colorful, pastel, blinking, breathing ponies.

“Holy shi..”

Flash!

A bright light blinded me. I couldn’t see a thing...

(S)

I woke up feeling refreshed, yet my bones were kind of achy from the stiffness of the hospital bed. I remembered last night with a sudden rapid change in my heart beat, and my face went red. Did that all really happen? I asked myself. Yet, it felt as real as my own breathing, as if it had affected my entire body. The memory of the night prior was enough to stir several feelings up in my mind. I sat up in the bed, wiping a hand down my face in slight embarrassment.

I looked to my right side and saw her there, back towards me. Hesitantly, I placed a hand on Nurse Redheart’s flank - emblazoned with her cutie mark, of course - grabbing some of the white hair between my thumb and forefinger. She feels real enough, I thought, soft, furry and.. squeezable. At the last part, I looked away from her and took back my hand. I wondered how exactly to feel at the moment, but it was difficult to realize any of the emotions being tossed around inside me. With a soft sniffle, I heard her wake slowly from her deep sleep - I turned my head back around to watch.

The mare with a pink mane rolled over onto her back, rubbing her eyes with both hooves before reaching forward and grabbing the hair tie I had taken off her last night. Clumsily slipping her hair back into the bun it had been yesterday evening, Redheart looked a lot more tired than I was. Finally noticing my gaze on her, she turned slightly and smiled gratefully. “I don’t think I’ve slept that well in ages,” Redheart commented, before opening her mouth and yawning widely.

The nurse-pony stretched her limbs until a few joints made popping noises. Redheart looked at me for a second, then suddenly wrapped me in a warm embrace. After a few awkward seconds, I did the same with her. Quickly, she pulled off and grinned before setting the nurse’s cap back on her head. “Thanks for the kind words..” she said, then winked. “And the good time!”

After another little nap together, I discovered that Redheart had gone, probably to go to work. I scratched my head anxiously, wondering if anyone else would find out about this mishap of mine. Getting up slowly, I made sure every limb was still in proper working condition. Doing the same as the nurse-pony when I got onto both feet, I stretched widely with a loud yawn. Then I pulled my tux and pants back on, making sure to at least look decent on my exit. Walking out of the room and into a hallway, I checked around for any other doctor or nurse. It seemed to be just me.

Continuing on, though, I saw a group of doctors. Instead of trying to hide or run like a suspicious person, I tried to maintain a normal gait and kept my head up. Even though they had quieted their voice, they must not have realized just how well human ears worked; I could hear them very well.

“Is that the same thing from earlier?”

“No, no, it’s a different one.. but I think it’s one of those.. what did the other one call itself?”

“I think it said it was a ‘hooman’..”

“A hooman, yes, it’s another hooman.”

At the last remark, I grew irritated. “I can hear you, ya know?! And.. it’s ‘human’, not ‘hooman’!” I growled, to their astonishment. The group of doctors dispersed in the direction I had came from with some more frenzied whisperings that I could only hope to discern. While I was looking back at them, I stumbled against another pony in front of me. Briefly forgetting how much shorter they were, I stared straight ahead for a second before looking down.

It was Nurse Redheart, as you might have guessed, and she didn’t seem to have minded the bumping. “Oh, hello. I was just looking for you,” Redheart said, regarding me stoically - though, she was still slightly blushing. “I was told to tell you that you are free to go when you wish.” Then she turned around, waving her flank purposely at me before continuing ahead - I stared up at the ceiling instead and dug both sets of fingernails into my face to ignore the seduction. It was already awkward enough that yesterday was no dream, but to be tempted a second time..

Since I was free to go - I would’ve gone anyways - I went down the hallway after Redheart, lightly jogging even though you’re not supposed to do that in hospitals. A few surprised doctors called out as I went by them, but they probably just wanted to sample my blood or something. I kept going until there was a Y-split in the hallway, at which point I was confounded. How in the hell is this place so big and maze-like?! I thought, frustratedly. However, a certain pink-haired mare stuck her head out of the left hall, then disappeared back inside it. It took me a second to realize that her hair was down and the nurse hat was gone - I gulped.

Checking first to make sure there was no exit in sight in the right hallway, I went down the left one and carefully observed my surroundings. As you would imagine, it was tile flooring and simple paint, with the occasional reminders on what certain-colored alerts meant and what to do in case of emergencies. There were also some doors, but they seemed to be all locked, so I kept going. At the end of the hallway was another door, but upon trying the handle, it was unlocked.

I ran my palms down my face in mild surprise, but the sight lying in wait for me in the room was predictable. Other than the hospital bed in the center of the tiles, the room was bare. However, on that hospital bed was Nurse Redheart on her back, splaying her legs and heatedly dragging a hoof up and down her naughty bits. I almost exited right then and there, but my eye was caught even if I didn’t want it to be.

Redheart smiled lightly as soon as she noticed my presence, using her unoccupied hoof to wave me over. The logical side of me reminded me how weird it’d be if I had a similar experience to last night.. but as we all know, a male’s logical side hardly ever wins over in situations like this. Moving over to Nurse Redheart’s side, I give her an inquiring stare. Her deep blush made me cringe a little, but when she waved me closer again, I put my ear next to her mouth.

I could barely hear what Redheart said, yet I could still make out what it was. “Work today was hard.. I need a good rutting..” she softly whispered to me, the hot breath from her open mouth smelling like peppermint. I was grinding my teeth together, but regardless it was impossible to contain the inevitable erection. I don’t know if I was cursing or praising my luck at that point, but I removed the now-uncomfortable pants once more, leaving the tux on.

I prepared to insert for the second time, then.. I woke up. Sitting up in bed, I noted that I was alone in the hospital bed from before. Annoyed, I got up quickly and changed into my clothes again. This time I went straight for the exit, and wasn’t sidetracked by any lustful nurses or mazelike hallways.

I did, however, see Nurse Redheart off to the side speaking with a doctor about a patient. When she saw me, she stopped mid-sentence and turned around to wave a hoof. Returning the gesture with my hand, I wondered if that kind of treatment was a given around here.. I shrugged the thought off and walked through the sliding doors that marked the exit.

The other human - I think he said his name was Hector - was standing there dusting off his jacket. When he looked up from doing that, Hector jumped back a little. Wondering why, I turned to stare at whatever he was gazing at. My jaw dropped - an almost literal sea of ponies was in front of the hospital, all looking at the both of us. The sky was a perfect blue color, the town looked peaceful aside from this event, and the ponies were of so many varieties.. much more than even shown in the show!

Flash!

Suddenly, a bright light speared my vision with its intensity and I yowled, holding my eyes with my hands. I was momentarily stunned.

[Note: DOVAH'LL DEFINITELY GET SOME PR0N SOON! RIGHT, DOVAH?!]

5 - Citizens

(D)

I brought my hands to my eyes, rubbing furiously to rid them of the white annoyance. Once I did, I inspected the crowd of ponies and found the perpetrator: It was a little pegasus colt holding a camera and who had a feather as his cutie mark. It was Featherweight, the photographer.

“Watch the flash on that thing, kid.” I told the lightweight foal. He gave me a ‘sorry’ kind of look and tucked his camera under his wing. The crowd, however, murmured excitedly. I heard stuff like “They can talk!” and “They look weird!”. I even heard a female say “The one in the jacket is cute!”. That last comment made me feel uncomfortable.

“Hey there,” said a voice behind me. I turned around and, lo and behold, I was greeted by the sight of the tuxedo man, Zero. He held a sly smirk on his face and his tuxedo looked like shit; it looked as if he put it in a hurry - it was crinkled in some areas and was stained with... fluid. My skin crawled.

“Hey, what’s up, man. Got some sleep in?” he asked. I nodded my head in response. Aside from that disturbing dream, I got some sleep in and my body feels great. I felt that I could take on anything in this world. “Dude, can you believe - wait, you’re a brony, right?” I nodded wordlessly again. “Can you believe that we are IN Equestria! I mean, this is every brony’s dream! We’ll get to meet everyone from the show, eat cake with Pinkie, watch Rainbow Dash fly and we’ll just be able to live here in peace.” he gushed. He was taking this very well despite the fact WE BOTH DIED TO GET HERE! Whatever, I thought, I won’t spoil his fun.

All the while, the entire town was watching our exchange with open ears and puzzled looks. A particular mare approached us.

“Ahem. I would like to ask you to gentlecolts some questions. As would you all, correct?” A mare with gray hair and a dull brown coat stepped in before me and Zero. When she turned to the crowd to address them, I got a look at her flank - and no, not to check her out - I saw that her cutie mark was a scroll tied with a blue ribbon. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was Mayor Mare. There she was clear as day, with her glasses and grey - though the real color of it was pink - hair. I looked to the sky, several pegasi were watching from the clouds. They ducked their heads when I looked at them. A certain blonde pegasus with wonky eyes looked confused but then did the same two seconds later. Silly Derpy.

“...Yes, those are fine terms. You have a deal!” I came back out of my stupor to see Zero and the Mayor shaking hand and hoof. The Mayor turned to the murmuring crowd and addressed the gossiping equines. “Fillies and Gentlecolts! These two peculiar individuals mean us no harm. In fact, they are willing to answer your questions and work in our community, putting in some of their energy to benefit the town!” she said. The ponies mumbled happily. Work!? When the fuck did I say that I was going to work with anyone?

“Hey, why did she say we were going to work!” I growled to Zero. He turned to me with a smug smirk -- this guy was going to get on my nerves.

“While you were being a Helen Keller deaf-mute, I talked to the Mayor about our living conditions in the town. I told her we weren’t a threat to the town and that if we were given a place to stay, we would work for the community to earn our keep,” he explained. My right eye twitched - I am - was a computer expert, not a damn field worker or stall vendor.. or whatever these ponies do for jobs. “..Also, I promised that we would answer any questions the town may have.” he said. This guy just made me a slave for these ponies. I will get him for this.

“Ahem, if you gentlecolts are done arguing, there are some questions you should be answering.” Mayor Mare told us. I threw Zero an annoyed glare, to which he just smiled, and turned to the crowd. A majority of them had their hooves raised in the air, expecting that we’d give them a satisfying answer. I took in a deep breath and randomly chose a hoof.

“Yes, you in the back. Come up here so I can see you.” I said, ambivalent to the issue. Zero and I stood expectantly to see who the pony was. She cantered from the crowd, her elegant hair bobbing in each step, and as she appeared, her creamy white coat and sapphire blue eyes made my jaw drop. I had seen her many times in the show beforehand.. but never in person; Rarity stood there in front of me now, though, looking at me with those beautiful eyes. Her beauty was practically giving her an angelic glow. If it wasn’t for my dignity and ethics, I would have kissed her right then and there. Rarity cleared her throat and spoke:

“I couldn’t help but notice that the outfits both of you are wearing...” This is Rarity - of course she’d talk about our clothes. “...are simply marvelous!” What? A wrinkled, jizz-stained tuxedo and an emo-hipster outfit are marvelous? Sweetheart, what are you smoking? “Your tuxedo may be stained but with a quick wash, it will be restored to its original, magnificent shape!” Rarity smoked pot, no doubt about it. “You have such an otherworldly set of clothes that give you such a dark and dashing look. Your race must have a myriad of wonderful styles unheard of! Tell me, both of you, what are your secrets?” She was looking up to us with with an excited smile, waiting for our ‘secrets of chic and fashion’. Zero and I looked at each other with a ‘seriously’ look. I kneeled down to her level.

“Black. Use black in everything. It makes everything sexy, so use it in conjunction with purple.” I said. I just told her the ultimate secret to looking sexy, at least in my book, so she better appreciate it. Rarity gave me a quizzical look and was going to respond until the Mayor silenced her.

“Okay Rarity, you’ll have to ask them on your own time. Bye bye now.” she pushed her away, to my disappointment. I wanted to keep on chatting with her.

The rest of the questioning was normal as it could be. Both me and Zero chose eager mares, stallions, and foals, asking things a normal person would if they met an alien. “Where did you come from?”,“How do you use those claws?”,“How do you stand up on two legs?”,“Do you eat ponies?”.. Really general questions that were really starting to bore me and with the sun beating down on both Zero and me just made it even more unbearable.

“Alright, everyone. Those are all the questions we are going to take. I hope we satisfied you all with our answers and I look forward to living and working with you all.” I ended this dreadful interview with a sigh. Mayor Mare looked happy with the way this whole thing ended as she turned to address the crowd again.

“Everypony, please give a round of applause to our new additions to town, Hector and Zero!” The crowd stomped in an exuberant response to the mayor pony’s request. It was really unnecessary but I took it - I was just glad this little ‘meeting’ was over. Ponies waved at us as they dispersed from the area - some saying “Welcome to Ponyville!” or they just gave a simple wave with their hoof and left. However, most of the females were winking at us.

“Jesus, this better not turn into a regular thing.” I sighed, annoyed. I felt uncomfortable that ponies were calling me cute and just looking at me with bedroom eyes. I mean, during the damn Q&A, one of the ‘unrecognizable’ background ponies was standing awkwardly close to me and at the end when she asked for a hug - which as you can imagine, I was ecstatic to agree - and In the middle of it, she nuzzled my neck and cooed. You have no idea how uncomfortable that was.

“Yo, Hector. The Mayor is calling us.” Zero called. I looked back at him and nodded my head, following to the lone Mayor. We walked up to the Mayor as she produced two impressive-looking gold keys and handed them to us along with a small bag of coins, which I assumed were bits, and a carrot. I was confused, what were these items - aside from the coins and carrots - for?

“Miss Mayor, what are these keys for?” I asked.

“These keys are for your new homes. I’ve decided to give you both some homes that I was going to schedule for demolition. Think of it as a friendly gesture from us,” she explained to me. A free house, huh? I’d have to see it for myself ‘cause she did say they were scheduled for demolition. Zero, once again, was smiling like a methed-up chump at this news. “Hector, your house will be near the Carousel Boutique, which is Miss Rarity’s business. She is a good mare and has a great taste for style so I am sure you and her will be great friends considering your race’s expertise at fashion.” I felt like jumping around the town yelling, “I’m going to live next to my favorite pony!” right then and there. “As for you Zero, you shall be living in a building next to Sweet Apple Acres, the home and farm of the Apple family. They are always looking for an extra hoof to help around the region. I’m sure you’ll have nice time with them,” she told Zero. I got a look at Zero’s face when she mention the words ‘live’, ‘next’ and ‘Sweet Apple Acres’. He looked as if his heart stopped, jumped out of his chest, and smashed itself with a hammer. I think somebody’s favorite pony is Applejack.

“Well then, make me proud. We are giving you both a chance to live here among us in peace so I expect you two to return to our community. Look around the town, I am sure ponies will be needing your help or have jobs for you. Goodbye and welcome to Ponyville!” And with that, the Mayor turned around and walked down a trail that leads into Ponyville. My new life - that I have to bust my ass to build - starts now.

“Hehehe, would it have killed her to give us some maps? Right, Ze...ro?” I turned and saw that the tuxedo man nowhere to be found. He just abandoned me here to probably start some sexual escapades with the inhabitants just like he did with Redheart.

“Dickwipe.” I audibly cursed Zero. Taking a bite out of the carrot I was given and pocketing the bag of coins and the key, I bid farewell to the hospital behind me and walked down the path to the town.

.

.

.

“Oh, are you shitting me!?” After 30 minutes of asking around town and remembering scenes of the show that showed the Carousel, I found my ‘home’... if you could call it that. It was a creaky, old, two-story building that was repairable but would be a bitch to fix it.. and live in it. “I guess with some work and money, I could have this place fixed up.” I said, optimistically. I looked up and saw the sun ducking down the mountain where Canterlot was and would soon be replaced by the moon and the night sky.

“Hector, darling! How have been? I haven’t been able to speak a word to you ever since the meeting!” I turned and saw the beautiful Rarity, flashing a genuine smile. I felt my face heat up as I walked towards Rarity and.. Fluttershy? “Hector, you must meet my friend, Fluttershy.” She moved the timid pegasus in front of her. I kneeled down to her level and put up my hand to shake her hoof. However, instead of cowering behind her pink mane like I had expected, she smiled at me and returned the gesture.

“It is very, very nice to meet you, Mr. Hector.” she said with a strange giggle. Her face started to blush and her shaking became more fervent. I immediately pulled my hand back and stood back up as Rarity spoke up.

“Hector, are you going to live.. here?! In.. that?!” she said as she pointed a shocked hoof towards the creaky house.

“Unfortunately but once I have enough money, I can-”

“No.. nonononono! Absolutely not!” she yelled dramatically, stomping her hoof to the ground to emphasize her point. “I will not allow somepony with such exquisite fashion tastes like yourself, live in a drab, run-down, shack such as that! You will live with me until you have the means to call this place home.” She put on the cutest, most serious face I have ever seen. I swear I felt my heart burst out of the cuteness.

“Rarity, I can’t do that. I’ll be fi-” I was interrupted again.

“I will not take no for an answer. You will-” This time Rarity was interrupted by Fluttershy, who was whispering something I could not make out.

“What? Oh right! Oh, I completely forgot!” Rarity looked disheveled about something. She looked back up to me.

“Darling, we actually came here to bring you with us. Our friend Twilight and two guests of hers wanted to speak privately to you and your other friend, Zero!” Her pupils dilated. Before I could say anything else, Rarity beckoned me to follow her. By beckoned, I meant she wrapped her hoof, which somehow had a strong grip on me, and made me start running with her.

“I’ll explain when we get there!” Letting go of my hand she started galloping towards our destination, with me right behind and Fluttershy flying a little too close to my face.

(S)

I recoiled from the intense shine of whatever had created the blinding flash, but I held my hands over my eyes and tried looking up. At least I wasn’t harming myself with the impulses my mind wanted to act on. Trying to think logically, I just stared up for a few seconds with my eyes watering, blurring the clouds above. I put a hand in front of my eyes and waved it just to make sure they were okay before looking back down.

I got that flash right in the damn face when I didn’t expect it, I angrily thought to myself. There was a buzzing crowd of variously colored ponies that all appeared to be looking towards the two humans exiting the hospital. I blinked a few rogue tears away before realizing that the scene before me somehow didn’t even surprise me, regardless of how much it would for any normal human. It was odd, even for a brony; we all wish to go to Equestria, but how many actually get to go?

I didn’t see the source of the flash, but nevertheless I began wondering if this audience would disappear soon. I mean, it wasn’t as if they were looking at us like zoo animals, nope! I saw the other guy, Hector, and decided to greet him. “Hey there!” I said, with exaggerated friendliness. He didn’t seem overly thrilled to see me again, so I decided to take the initiative. I made some small talk, and he hardly responded. “The whole town is waiting,” I prodded. He didn’t respond quickly enough, so I approached the rim of the crowd myself.

“How is everypony on this fine day?” I yelled, using some of the lingo I had heard on the show. I heard some loud murmuring in response, but I couldn’t really hear over the din. A pony I couldn’t recognize at first approached both of us humans. Once I could make out the grayed hair, I almost immediately realized who it was - Mayor Mare. I couldn’t hear most of what she was talking about because of the crowd, but I caught the gist of it.

What she was trying to get across was that she and the inhabitants of Ponyville wanted to ask us some questions. I stepped up to interrupt the Mayor before she could begin her inquiries. While Hector stood off to the side staring at her ass, I tried to work out a deal. I murmured to her.. no, it was more like a low yell, “What say we answer all of your questions in return for somewhere to stay in town? We will not hurt anypony, and we would be happy to perform manual labor to earn our keep..”

Mayor Mare seemed content with my offer and explained it to the crowd, which momentarily became quieter. I saw Hector straighten up as if he’d been smacked with a whip before he asked me in a low, angered voice what had just been agreed to. With an amused smirk, I told him exactly what I had offered for Mayor Mare - adding some tasteful insult, of course. Hector seemed to be furious at me for signing us both up without consulting him, but I didn’t really care. After all, what person wouldn’t work to live in a utopia such as this?

The mayor interrupted us in the middle of our conversation so that she could begin asking the questions that she and all of Ponyville wanted answers to. Hector shot me an irritated glare, but I ignored it. She had Hector select someone, and he randomly chose from the crowd, most of which held their hooves up. We waited patiently for the lucky viewer to reach the front of the audience. When she finally emerged, I had thought Hector’s heart had stopped for a moment.

Hector’s jaw literally popped open as he watched the gorgeous pony approach. I wasn’t quite as thrilled as he was, but even I had to admit that she was very refined. It was Rarity, the pony described in the show as the holder of the element of Generosity. Of course, the question began with how much she liked our clothes -- she was a fashionista, after all.

Fortunately, Rarity’s constant stream of fashion-related nonsense - that I didn’t care much about - ended when Mayor Mare decided that she had asked enough. Having learned more about Hector’s fashion sense than mine, Rarity probably liked him more - but that was fine by me! Rarity left us and disappeared back in the audience, then the rest of the questioning went by without much incident. As expected, the town most asked a bunch of questions related to how we used certain features on our bodies and where we came from.. that kind of thing. Mayor Mare seemed content with the amount of questions we answered before we closed up shop, so I figured that the deal was set.

Finally, the mayor had had the crowd applaud for us - even though most of the questions were common things that any self-respecting human could answer. Hector and I were just glad the interview was over, and now it seemed as if we could freely roam Ponyville as the crowd dispersed. However, Mayor Mare remained behind, and beckoned us over to her. Taking the signal, I went towards her, trying to get Hector to come with me.

When we had gotten close enough to Mayor Mare, she produced two shiny keys and some other products we needed, and handed them to us.

Hector just looked at the key for a moment, but I was already ecstatic. The mayor had, in her infinite wisdom - and no, I’m not even being sarcastic - positioned us in households near our respective saviours. I had a rundown barn in the Sweet Apple Acres, and Hector had a creaky old building near the Carousel Boutique. From what the mayor said about them being scheduled for demolition, I figured both were completely empty of furniture, carpets, and wallpaper, along with many other negative attributes, but everything could be fixed with some hard work involved. Of course.. we had some other hard work to attend to as jobs, but we didn’t quite know what those were yet. The mayor said her goodbyes and left us.

With a newfound sense of freedom, I left for my home; I went south to the Sweet Apple Acres and left Hector to his own business - we were probably going to meet again anyway. I didn’t have to go too far before I reached the outskirts of the apple-bearing trees. I walked up to a tree and examined it; it looked very sturdy. I looked around to make sure no-one was trying, then I emulated my favorite pony by kicking the tree with all my strength. One apple dropped - I was slightly disappointed in my kicking ability, but also relieved that my near-death experience hadn’t completely destroyed my old leg power.

“Yer not too bad fer a beginner.” At the sudden voice, I jumped high enough to hit a low branch. Grabbing my head in irritation, I turned around to find another familiar face in the space between two apple trees. I was startled out of my mind when I saw it was Applejack, my personal favorite pony, and she was sitting and watching me with an expression of amusement. “Most ponies not from th’ Sweet Apple Acres can’t even knock down a single apple. ..I knew ya’d come by here soon, since yer house ain’t too far from here,” she explained. It felt like my heart had dropped out of my body, as if it had just been attached to an anchor and that anchor was tossed overboard. Was this how Hector had felt earlier..?

“I.. I..” I was absolutely speechless. For once in my life I didn’t have anything snarky or sarcastic to say. I knew I was blushing too, because my face was unnaturally warm, and knowing this made me embarrassed as well.

“Ya don’t gotta be embarrassed ‘bout me watchin’ ya,” Applejack said, misinterpreting my blushing. “I’m sure yer gonna be a good bucker by th’ time ya start workin’ ‘round here.” Strangely, her voice seemed gentle and comforting. Maybe Applejack was remembering when she herself was a newbie at applebucking.. maybe she was just trying to help me out. Either way, I still found it hard to continue from her part of the conversation.

“A-Applejack.. you’re.. Applejack?..” I asked wondrously, feeling woozy enough to faint at any moment. She nodded her head, seeming surprised that I already knew her name. Applejack probably assumed that Nurse Redheart or one of the doctors had told me, and that excuse was good enough for me. She didn’t ask, and that was fine by me. Applejack beckoned me over, and when I got close enough she got up and darted into the small forest of apple trees. I wasn’t willing to let her out of my sight yet, so I ran in pursuit of Applejack, always seeing the tip of her tail swerving left or right between more trees.

Finally, Applejack came to a stop. I came to a stop as well - but more slowly - then bent down and panted a little. Apparently either running on all fours wasn’t as energy-demanding as on two legs, or she was much more athletic than me - I guessed both.

I regarded her with a stare that seemed to be asking, ‘why did I just run all the way here?’ In response, Applejack nodded her head upwards, and I looked up and past her face for the first time. A huge barn was directly ahead, bigger than any I had ever seen before - it looked as broken-down as the mayor had described, but it was nicer-looking than I had expected. The dark gray wooden walls were cracked in some places, but some minor work would fix that. She walked inside, and without hesitation I followed.