Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann: A Heavy Metal Musical
Throughout the universe, there is one constant: intelligent life strives forever further, seeking new heights and depths. For most, this eternal struggle is invisible; they cannot see the march of progress, only the smallest bursts of improvement. Some, however, can see more. These gifted few who see their world not in the present moment but as a single speck in the history of their species and the universe at large are the ones who truly progress, where others are content to sit where they are, or even drag their feet, kicking and screaming, because they don’t like change.
This is a story not of a single drop of progress, but a tidal wave overcoming everything that stands in its way. This is the story… of Gurren Lagann. But it is not as you once knew it; fate is only what we make of it, and a single event can change the course of history. But there are powers that seek this progress, who ensure that all worlds, all universes, find their happy ending.
This is not the story of Simone the Digger. He died with his family, buried beneath the earth.
Instead, a very different hero takes the stage. One of music instead of drills, of spirit instead of stone.
This is the story of Vinyl the Musician.
A red glare flashed through the facility. Or it would have, if said facility existed as more than a metaphysical semi-material gathering point for heroes long forgotten, placed somewhere parallel to the omniverse itself.
This facility was, for lack of a better term, a Watchtower of sorts, which monitored the omniverse, the collection of all known universes and multiverses, to ensure that destined events happened. They did so because these destined events were typically for the best, and any changes often created even worse problems than they fixed. Thankfully, such changes normally created parallel universes instead of drastically changing the primary realities, so the job was relatively stress-free.
Unfortunately, this was an exception to the rule. A large change had occurred in a primary universe, which would eventually destabilize it, creating a super black hole. It would swallow up nearby universes, and had the potential to slowly grow.
“Get a replacement hero, quickly!” shouted a manager over the speakers. Or projected shouting, anyways. There was no air here, as there was no true physical matter; communication was, like the facility, only half-physical, and primarily composed of psychic projection. This was a good thing, as those working in the facility had spoken countless different languages and dialects in their home universes before permanently dying and coming here.
The worker assigned to this particular multiverse randomly shifted through the various other multiverses before coming across a suitable being. Drills were an unusual tool for heroes, most who dug did so with claws or shovels, but, given the nature of the multiverse currently destabilizing, an affinity for drills wasn’t strictly necessary. They represented a special type of energy, but they were not the sole factor. The true requirement was determination, and the ability to inspire others. They did not need a digger for this, so the worker chose a being with a suitable talent: music. This being was an ultimately unimportant person from a reality where reality-bending energies were the norm, and was a perfect fit. Her Equine form was not an issue; traversing dimensions transformed you into your closest physical equivalent when done right, though most humans didn’t realize that, as they were the most common species. Regardless, no one would notice if this ‘Vinyl Scratch’ went missing for a bit. Probably.
A small flash shone through one of the tunnels that would eventually be used to expand Giha Village. The only one who saw it was a child named Kamina, having just come home after a trip to the fabled surface. Looking inside, he saw a little girl with white skin and blue hair lying there. He brought her to the chief, hoping he knew what to do with her. He got a tongue-lashing from the man, but he looked her over, and, besides from her strange skin and hair colors, she seemed to be just fine. The chief wasn't exactly going to kill a kid, so he decided to house her with the other orphans. After hearing Kamina's story, the boy was sent there, too. After all, the surface was just a fairy tale; the poor lad probably just saw his dad die and made up a story, pretending he was still alive. Right?
Every day was the same. Digging endlessly to expand the village, in the vain hope that they would actually need the space for more than a few months at the most. There was always another Earthquake, always another cave-in. Vinyl didn’t really see the point, but she supposed it didn’t really matter; if she wanted to eat, then she dug.
The village chief was a very practical man. Too practical, really; Vinyl could see how bleak the village was, how the people needed hope, and happiness, and she knew she could fix that, but the chief said that spreading cheer was a waste of time and manpower that could otherwise be used for practical things, like digging.
And so she dug. It wasn’t a glorious job, and it earned her the derision of much of the village, but the chief praised her for her hard work and speed, and even gave her some of the best pigmole steaks they had when she did a really good job. Vinyl wasn’t happy, not really, but… she was content, at the least. She knew she could do better, could be happier, but, for the moment, she supposed this was enough. She was a good digger, for all that she disliked it, able to determine where to dig and not to dig thanks to experience and instinct. That instinct sometimes drove her towards little treasures, things that had been long-buried but had some purpose or value. Today, she had found two amazing things: a little drill, and a giant face. She didn’t really have the time to uncover the rest of the face, so she left it alone for now, to dig it back up tomorrow.
She also had something to look forwards to after the day’s work: her best friend and brother in all but blood, Kamina. The older boy was an inspiration to her, constantly spurring others on, seeking more than this dismal existence. He had seen another land, one without a ceiling to eventually come crashing down. He had seen the fabled surface, and now he wanted to return. So, with Vinyl’s skills, they had dug upwards. There were several times where they had nearly died up there, but that hadn’t stopped them.
And so, Kamina had come to her with another plan to escape to the surface: they and their other friends would drive the pigmoles towards the main cavern ceiling, where they would propel them upwards so they could dig to the surface! Vinyl thought it was kinda stupid, but Kamina could make you believe anything was possible, and so she went along with it.
The plan failed spectacularly, of course. The pigmole pillar was knocked down by the chief, their friends begged for forgiveness, and Kamina was sent to the stocks, while she got away with nothing, mostly because she was an excellent digger.
Later that night, she freed Kamina to bring him to the face (well, he really freed himself, he had just been waiting for her. He was surprisingly considerate like that), and they set off through the darkness. Unfortunately, the lights suddenly burst on, and there the chief stood.
“You’ve got some nerve, breaking out of jail, Kamina,” he declared. “I’m the village chief, so that means I protect my people. Right now, we need night guards, so here I am. And you, Vinyl, don’t think I didn’t notice those extra tunnels you’ve been digging.”
“Hey, leave her alone. She hasn’t done anything! I’m the guilty one,” said Kamina.
“Oh, yes, I’m perfectly aware of how guilty you are,” the chief rumbled, hitting Kamina with the scabbard of his katana, once in the shoulder and once on the forehead. Kamina weathered it with a look of rage, not flinching once. The two locked eyes, their expressions nearly identical, and the chief reared back for another strike before a great crash shook them all. The ceiling cracked and shattered, countless tons of stone raining down upon the village before it was stopped by… something. It had two great horns, and an explosion sent it down to the floor, revealing a great light. As the dust cleared, a frightening visage greeted the village, a giant face filled with sharp teeth in a predatory smile.
“So, Vinyl… was this the giant face you wanted to show me?” asked Kamina, placing a pair of sharp red glasses on his face. It wasn’t, and Vinyl made that much clear.
“Look up!” shouted Kamina. “That’s the surface! I told ya there was a surface up there! This big mug fell from the surface, from above the ceiling! Ain’t that right, mister chief?”
The face suddenly began to move, and it stood up on giant legs that sprouted from where its neck should have been, previously hidden beneath it. It raised its arm and brought down its giant club, nearly squishing three villagers. Everyone but Kamina panicked, the rest of the village running around… except for the chief, who was still sprawled on the ground.
“What are ya waiting for, chief? I thought you said it was your duty to protect the village? Gosh, it’s hard to tell which of us is the liar, now, ain’t it?” Kamina kicked the chief’s sword, slinging it around his body before it came to rest in his hand.
“Bro, this way! Let’s get out of here!” shouted Vinyl. “Hey, bro?”
“Hey, hey-hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! You’ve got guts, plowing into my village like this. You and your big ugly mug of yers, you know that? But that ends here. I won’t stand for any more of yer shenanigans!”
“What?” cried out a voice from within, sounding completely alien to everyone’s ears. Vinyl, however, knew that it was merely distorted. That didn’t stop its words from surprising her, however; she didn’t expect it to talk.
“I’m gonna tell you something real important now, so you better dig the wax out of those huge ears of yours and listen close!” shouted Kamina, pointing skywards. “The reputation of Team Gurren echoes far and wide. When they talk about its badass leader, the man of indomitable spirit and masculinity, they’re talking about me, the mighty Kamina!” though the few villagers that hadn’t fled further into the village shook their heads, Vinyl couldn’t help but be astounded by his sheer bravery. This was why she loved Kamina, why she looked up to him; he made her believe that he could do anything, and when he believed in her, well, she felt like she could do anything.
“I, Kamina, will not tolerate any further lawlessness in this village!”
The giant face merely laughed. “What can a puny human like you do to stop me?”
Suddenly, blue flashes could be seen coming off of its raised arm. Looking upwards, Kamina and Vinyl saw a girl riding down on a rope, a long metal stick in her arms creating those bursts. One lucky shot even knocked the weapon out of the face’s hands. As she finally landed in front of them, Kamina and Vinyl couldn’t help but notice that she was wearing almost nothing; she was wearing extremely short shorts, a bikini top, boots, a scarf, and a pair of goggles placed beneath a long red ponytail, but nothing else.
“Alright, you two, you better get back,” she said, punctuating her words with another shot, this one knocking the giant face down
“I only knocked it backwards, it could still get up and get us!” she shouted.
“Hey, babe, come here often?” asked Kamina. Something about that made Vinyl’s stomach twist, but she ignored it; she could worry about her stomach after they dealt with the giant that could squish ten people underfoot.
The surface girl was surprised.
“So, you’re gonna slug it out, huh? Lemme help you out,” said Kamina.
“Help out?” asked the girl, hiding behind a nearby wall.
“You came from the surface, didn’t ya?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“That’s awesome! So, that’s a weapon they use on the surface, eh?”
“Not exactly, but something like that.”
The entire time this went on, Kamina had been ogling this new girl, who was admittedly very attractive. Vinyl couldn’t help but look at her own small proportions, at least as well as she could in her current situation, and feel jealous.
“Damn, you’ve got a mighty fine body. Surface chicks are a breed apart.” Vinyl’s jealous flared once again.
“Do I need to tell you again to run? Do you have a deathwish?!”
Suddenly, the light streaming down from the surface grew dim, and the giant’s club rained down upon them. Kamina and the surface girl found themselves in a hole. Vinyl’s head poked out from a nearby tunnel and quickly told them to follow her before once again diving back in.
“Where am I?” asked the surface girl.
“Giha village,” answered Kamina.
“Oh, the pit next door.”
“Next door?”
“I’m from Littner village, the pit that’s right next to this one.”
“What the hell? You said you were from the surface, but you were raised in a pit?”
“I came from the surface just now, but I’m originally from Littner.”
“Aw, jeez, you’re a pit chick? Get moving, thunder-thighs!”
Vinyl felt somewhat happy that Kamina’s interest was born from her supposed home rather than her body. She still wished she was that curvy, but she was still young.
“What’s with the big change in attitude?!” cried the other girl as they reached a larger tunnel, one where they could actually stand up.
“This way,” said Vinyl.
“Where exactly are we going?”
“The face.”
“The face?”
“A humongous face!”
“You mean a gunman?”
“What the hell is a gundam?” asked Kamina.
“Gunman. And that is,” answered the ‘surface’ girl, pointing towards the giant, which was now visible outside a window facing the village.
“Gimme a minute,” she said, setting up her thing, “I’m targeting its power conduits. Taking those out will stop ‘im in his tracks. Gotcha.”
Suddenly, Kamina stood up. “Hey, you with the big mug! We’re about to take you down, so say your prayers!” The ‘surface’ girl had already fired her blaster-thingy, but it only hit the giants’ eye, doing nothing. The three quickly fled below.
“What did you do that for?!” she screamed at Kamina.
“A man looks his opponent in the eye when he lets ‘im have it!”
“I’m a woman, thank you very much!”
“A woman has no place meddling in a fight between men!”
“I’m the one who’s doing the fighting.”
“I like your style, lady. You’ve got a lotta spunk.”
Suddenly, Vinyl’s goggles lit up, bathing the tunnel in light. In front of them lay a giant face the size of a man; it was much smaller than the one outside, but still.
“This is it?” asked Kamina. “The face you wanted to show me?”
“Yep.”
“Awesome.”
“Hey, I wonder if this is a friend of the other gunman,” said the redhead.
“It’s smaller than the thing up there, but I kinda like its face,” muttered Kamina.
“Then check this out!” cried Vinyl, plopping down inside it. There was a chair inside and everything, and, though it wasn’t very comfortable, it was clearly meant to be sat in.
“People ride in it? That’s impossible!” said the redhead.
“Can you drive it?” asked Kamina.
“Only one way to find out,” said Vinyl. Suddenly, something under her shirt started glowing. She pulled out the drill thing she had found earlier, and the three of them noticed that it was glowing in tandem with the Gunman’s eyes. Vinyl tried to look for some controls or something, but nothing happened. She couldn’t help but sigh.
“Come on, Vinyl, I know you can do it! Kick logic out and do the impossible! Remember that, that’s the way Team Gurren rolls! This gunman is yours, and that means you can use it!” Vinyl tried to argue, but a crash from above startled them.
“Just do it!”
A miniature pigmole popped out of her cloak. It was Boota, her pet; the poor guy was a runt, and he mostly ate worms and bugs, so the chief had let her keep him. The support of her brother and pet and new ally filled her with determination, and suddenly something new began glowing. A little hole in front of her, flashing a spiral pattern to match the drill. Something inside of her knew what she had to do. The drill was placed in the hole, and she turned it. A green spiral composed of millions of tiny dots glowed in front of her, extending past the guman itself. The machine seemed to shift beneath her, as if it was rearranging itself. Then it sat still, the seat suddenly feeling rather plush.
It was such a dramatic moment; she almost felt like trumpets should be playing in the background.
She got Violins.
Great speakers burst into life, extending out of the little robot, and its form suddenly shifted, creating arms and legs. Then the speakers went downwards, and a sudden burst of heavy noise that matched the music perfectly drove them upwards. They came out beneath the larger Gunman, running astoundingly fast, the music pushing them forwards.
Kamina couldn’t help but laugh. “You weren’t expecting this, you son of a bitch! Even if heaven itself tolerates your brutality, the mighty Lagann does not!”
“What is Lagann?” asked the redhead.
“It’s this big fella’s name, I just came up with it,” answered Kamina. Suddenly, the larger gunman’s club came down upon them, and Vinyl dodged, using the sound blasts to keep her movement erratic. “Vinyl, why are you dodging? Quit running!”
“Because that thing’s gonna kill us!”
“A real man would rather die than run!”
“I’m a girl, you jerk!”
Suddenly, the white gunman struck, knocking Kamina and the other girl from Lagann’s cockpit and onto its head. It tried to squish them with its free hand, but the two were thankfully quick enough to dodge its blind slaps. Then Vinyl woke up. She was terrified of what would happen to her, but she wasn’t about to lose Kamina, either. She repeated his motto to herself: make the impossible possible. That’s how Team Gurren rolls.
With a mighty shove, the gunman’s hand was knocked away by Lagann, and Kamina and the redhead climbed in once again. They urged Vinyl to jump, but she instead put down a cover, squishing them inside. The gunman brought its club down upon them, but only succeeded in damaging itself, the weapon rolling off of Lagann, which went spinning.
They had finally won! Except it was only knocked down. The giant teeth clamped down upon Lagann, trapping it within the giant’s jaws.
“Damnit… I need more power. I need more power!” Vinyl turned the drill-key the other way, and the screen her face was currently squished into flared. A great green light burst from within the white gunman, and its teeth cracked and shattered from a burst of music.
“Hey, nice going, Vinyl! This song’s pretty awesome, too! And the perfect weapon: music!”
Vinyl couldn’t agree more. With a scream, she burst forth once more, Lagann’s mouth, hands, and feet transforming into speakers.
“Get going, Vinyl. Bust through the heavens with your sound!”
The two screamed in unison this time, electric guitar riffs and drum beats and half-screams half-lyrics propelling them forwards and shattering their foe’s weapon, then propelling them forwards, upwards, towards the surface.
“Adios, Giha village. We’ve going to the surface. The surface I saw as a kid!” said Kamina. Vinyl’s teeth were grit in determination, but it slowly morphed into a savage grin, and the two once again screamed as one before finally bursting through, the gunman above them shattering into countless tiny pieces. The music morphed, changing to something less heavy, something more… hopeful. Lagann still spun through the air, showing the beauty of the sun and moon in the sky, the sunset painting the land in beautiful shades of pink and yellow.
“It’s so beautiful!” cried Vinyl. Somehow, she always knew that this was meant to be, that she had always been missing this sight.
“It’s Yoko,” said the redhead. “My name is Yoko. I never introduced myself, did I?”
“I’m Kamina! This is Vinyl.”
“Nice to meetcha. Hang on, you are really pale, Vinyl. Like, how is Kamina tanned but your skin is literally white?”
“I dunno, it just is. My hair’s not dyed, either,” Vinyl said, combing her hands through her electric blue locks. “Some of the other villagers called me ‘mutant’, and ‘freak’, but… whatever. They’re not here, so that doesn’t matter.”
Suddenly, Yoko’s chest began to wiggle, and out burst the miniature pigmole. “Um, what is this little furry thing that’s hiding out in my cleavage?”
“Boota, behave yourself,” muttered Vinyl.
“A tasty morsel hiding in more tasty morsels,” uttered Kamina.
Suddenly, Yoko noticed something: the music had stopped, and they were falling. Vinyl tried to bring back the tunes, but she just couldn’t. Instead, she brought up the canopy once again, hoping it and Lagann would be enough. The legs extended into speakers once again, only to blare out four sad trumpet notes that just barely slowed them down. They had survived.
As Vinyl opened her eyes once again, she found her head between Yoko’s breasts. She pulled her head out, blushing madly. Why was she blushing? Girls couldn’t like other girls… right? Besides, she liked boys.
“I… I’m sorry,” she muttered, but Yoko just had a friendly smile on her face. It quickly turned into shock, which only grew. Vinyl pulled back, but Yoko just pulled her back in and curled to the side, as if to protect her. Vinyl was glad she had worn panties today.
“Oh, great, out of the frying pan and into the fire,” muttered Yoko, staring up at the two gunmen looming above them.
