Cupcakes and Champions

by Paleo Prints

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tank, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Mare Do Well
Length: 4672

Rainbow Dash must take up the mantle of Mare-Do-Well to stop a rash of candy monsters! Excelsior!

It's ultimate action as Rainbow Dash takes up the mantle of Mare-Do-Well! Ponyville is beset by a vicious villain and his candy-coated creatures! Can Mare-Do-Well and her pink inventor sidekick turn the tide of terror? You better count on it, True Believer! Mayhem Masterly Mixed in the Mighty Marevel Manner!

As originally presented in Tales of Daring #148, with commentary by comic historian Trot McCloud

Published 2012-06-22 05:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-22 05:34:01 UTC

Issue 1: And Lo, There Shall Be an Origin!

Cupcakes & Champions
By Paleo Prints
Issue One: And Lo, There Shall Be an Origin!
A Past Premiere Proudly Presented for the Marevel Age of Comics

Publisher’s Note: We are lucky enough to reproduce the following story as it actually appeared in Tales of Daring #148, complete with Splash Page’s gripping text and Dot Crackle’s amazing illustrations! I envy the young, doe-eyed foal that gets to experience this classic for the first time! Imagine it, True Believers: Reprints! Another amazing innovation from the Stable of Ideas! –BB**

**Archivist’s Note: Welcome to our first annotated edition of a comic classic! Note the purple, enthusiastic style that represented Barker Bullpen’s comic writing. Get ready for it, fans. There’s nothing that characterized this decade’s writing more that creativity and cheese. –Trot McCloud, Comic Historian

Regret! The word that strikes fear into the athlete and the adventurer alike. Regret! The stirrings of the horse heart for that which can never be attained, regardless of what lofty triumphs the owner of the that heart may have achieved. As she stood in the back of Sugarcube Corner, Rainbow Dash felt regret!

The inhabitants of Ponyville had sought sojourn from their happy habitual humdrum at the pleasant party of Rainbow’s pal, Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash felt utterly alone as she regarded the adoring crowd that had surrounded the young Ms. Heartstrings. The manic musician bachelorette spun* in a circle, trying to find the right pony to pin a tail on. Elsewhere Pinkie was kicking up a storm as Berry Punch tried in vain to fight the combination of fermentation and gravity. Both ponies apparently found the dance floor irresistible, although only the later was spread across it.

*Enterprising collector’s will remember Lyra’s epic question to propose to Bon-Bon in the classic collector’s item Gripping Tales of Forbidden Romance** 17! –The Ever Faithful Editor

**Comic fans recall with amusement how the first seventeen covers of Gripping Tales featured only Lyra and Bon-Bon. Marevel legend credits Dot Crackle with ending that tradition; she apparently locked Bullpen in the company closet overnight. -TM

Dash stayed by the punch table, idly watching the willful wallflower Pokey Pierce watch Pinkie. I have no idea why that balloon hasn’t popped yet; he’s head over heels for her. Dash frowned, dropping into dour dissatisfaction. Of course, nopony acts like that around me; I’m too busy telling them how awesome I am for them to find out themselves.

Dash balanced her drink on her hoof. She smiled as she added several other glasses to the stack. She turned around on one leg as she prepared to call attention to herself.

“Hey everybody, take a look!”

A few of the nearby prancing party-goers peered in her direction. Dash was about to sound off when she noticed some of the raised eyebrows and smirks. Dejectedly she dropped the glasses into the punchbowl.

“Uh…the punch is refilled. Enjoy the party, everypony.” With the weight of the world on her wings, Rainbow escaped the eyes of the crowd by retreating to the back of Sugar Cube corner.

Dash’s wings picked her off the floor and carried her toward the kitchen. Shortly afterwards, a blurry bouncing bag of pink enthusiasm zipped to the punch bowl. “Hey, did anyone see Dashie around? She shouted out in her ‘awesomeness about to happen’ voice and I’m here to see the awesomeness!”

Nearby, Twilight Sparkle levitated a bottle in front of her while looking at the label. Her eager eye avidly examined the pleasurable potable. “She went into the back. Pinkie, could you talk to her? She’s been a little out-of-sorts since the Mare-Do-Well incident.* I’d go lecture her, but I think some laughter would be better. You work a lot better on Dash than this ‘egghead.’”

Pinkie snapped to attention with a salute. “Absodutely-lutey your professorness!”

* Cunning readers have no doubt devised that this story continues from the magnificent modern Marevel classic, “The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well Appears!” If not, moderately priced reprints can be found in the first volume of “The Essential Mare-Do-Well,” available wherever comics are found! –The Faithful Editor**

**One never stops being impressed with Bullpen’s willingness to sell. His most famous incident involved shilling his 3-D comics in a footnote inside braille Daring Do reprints. -TM

Twilight smiled with a worried look in her eyes. Pinkie’s crazy capers and cunning contraptions had caused quite a bit of chaos. “Pinkie, just give her a simple pep talk. Don’t do anything too nutty, alright?”

Pinkie leaned in close with huge eyes that seemed to swallow Twilight’s world. “Aw, do I have to, Miss Sparkle? I’ll clean your blackboards for a month!”

Twilight quickly brought the bottle to her mouth. I can’t handle this without hitting the sauce. “Okay, you get one song number. That is your limit; no back-up singers either. Then you come back in and dance with Pokey or something.”
The joyous earth pony bounced off the wall with a salaam and cart wheeled after her friend.

I think Dash kicks her goofiness into overdrive, Twilight thought to herself. She shook her head as she sipped her bottle. Mmm. 250,000 Scoltville units of Haybenero peppers. That is some good stuff. Berry Punch should switch over to this and forget about hangovers.**

**Sharp comic historians will recall that the Canterlot Comics Code technically forbade the obvious drinking of alchohol. Twilight's drinking of hot sauce was one way Marevel would circumvent that rule until the classic storyline "Unicorn in a Bottle!"- TM

Dash was hovering upside-down outside the kitchen. Ponyville’s loneliest pegasus had found a backroom with as many shadows as her heart. She could see the party through the hallway. Uninterested in further pony contact, she found herself filching cheesecake from the trays in back.

The prospective Wonderbolt munched down as the outside door opened of the other side of the kitchen. Oh Celestia, please don’t let it be Twi coming to give me a lecture. As the door opened further Dash’s eyes widened.

A bipedal runny mass came into the room. What it did was not entirely unlike walking. Dash could make out a head that seemed to be made out of a chocolate-dripping graham cracker mounted on a body of ambulatory marshmallow. The only logical conclusion possible immediately screamed in Dash’s head.

Pinkie pie, you are so random.

She watched the gelatinous creature amble through the kitchen. Its fudge eyes seemed to search for something. The quivering mass stopped as it took in the refrigerator. Its dripping fingers gently opened the door.**

**If there was one thing Splash Page could write, it was monsters. Devotees of the genre lovingly recall his revamp of the perennial butt of fan jokes ‘The Smooze’ in “Tales of the TARDIS #38”.-TM

Rainbow picked up a new slice off the dessert tray and regarded the marshmallow monster. Has Pinkie invented a waiter made out of candy? That’s what I call making a friend. Rainbow ate disinterestedly as she turned around and went out of the back door. After that candy-copter she whipped up I really shouldn’t be surprised.

An amusing realization struck her. This is what it means to live in Ponyville. She smiled. Marshmallow creatures are comparatively boring.

The depressed daredevil dropped onto the stoop to sit and sulk. Ever since the girls taught me that ‘lesson’ I’ve felt weird about showing off*. How do you be awesome without an audience? It’s like an itch I can’t scratch. Now I’m too scared to let myself go.

*Dashites will remember how the Mane Six used trickery to convince her that showboating was wrong. –The Expository Editor5

A tearful shudder wracked Rainbow Dash. My body cries out to be cool. How do I do it without being a…a Rainbow Douche?**

**Wow. This got past Celestia’s comics code? -TM

She was reflecting on her utterly non-cool life when the sounds of a commotion reached her ears. Dash turned around just in time for the marshmallow goon to collide with her. She was pushed off the step as the great ghoulish graham-faced giant rushed into the night.

She heard someone yelling from the kitchen. “Someone grab that mushy meanie!”

Dash shrugged as it went out of view. What was that thing’s problem? Oh well. It’s nothing to do with me anyway.
She floated up a few feet as she prepared to zip home. She started half-heartedly winding up for a take-off when she felt teeth on her tail.

“I know that’s you, Pinkie. I’m heading home now, if that’s okay.”

Dash turned around to slam right into Pinkie’s serious face. The angry earth pony was staring with an intensity she usually resolved for Lords of Chaos and crash-diets**. Looking past her friend revealed to Dash a scene of devastation.

**Humorously enough, both collided in the then current series “Dieting with Discord.” Now a collector’s item, all publisher-owned copies of the three issue run were legendarily used for kindling in the great Manehattan Blizzard of ’65. I happen to own a complete set. Trust me, the blizzard was for the best. -TM

Sugary goop coated the walls of a wrecked kitchen. Standing in the middle was an inconsolable Bon-Bon. Lyra was doing her best to comfort the cream-colored candy-seller. The pair was surrounded by the destroyed remains of the entire day’s baking.

Bon Bon wept into her fiancée’s coat. “The bits we made from those cakes were supposed to go toward the wedding! How are we going to replace all these ingredients?”

Pinkie thrust her nose against the prismatic pegasus in righteous fury. “You let that happened, Dashie! I saw you watching that monster. That mushy meanie walked right by you and you let it happen! If Bon-Bon and Lyra have wedding problems from this it’s your own faulty-waulty!”

Dash dropped her gapping jaw like a hot horseshoe. “I’m sorry. Pinkie, I thought it was some weird…Pinkie Thing. I never thought…”

“No you didn’t!” Pinkie suddenly stomped the ground. “I’m going to try to cheer up the ponies in there. You need to go to the library and check out ‘How to Be a Decent Element of Loyalty.” Pinkie turned on her hooves and stomped inside, slamming the door. A second later the door opened again.

“IT’S UNDER ‘H’!”

Dash was stunned. My friends needed me to fight a monster, and I let them down. I turned down the opportunity to fight a monster! She face-hooved. That would have been awesome, and everyone needed me to do it! Instead I was wallowing in my own pity. I missed out on the right thing to do because I was too wrapped up in my own obnoxious issues. She smashed her hooves together with gritted teeth. I guess with great awesomeness comes great responsibility.

Inside the shop a mass of mournful mares masterfully mopped up the monster’s mayhem.** Pinkie walked back and forth shouting orders, her hat from the Gala dress at a jaunty angle. As she orchestrated the clean-up a small delegation entered the shop.

**According to Splash Page’s autobiography, “Yes Barker, I Really Made Up All Those Characters,” Marevel production was once halted for six hours after the crew hid all of Barker’s thesauruses as a joke. The only story penned that day was the still unpublished lost Captain Equestria story, “Some Stuff Happens.” -TM

A group of muscular stallions surrounded a monocle-wearing unicorn. He stepped nervously around the sugary shrapnel piles as he made his way through the room. Panic showed on his face as he detected single smear of mush on his immaculate yellow coat. He held out his hoof to one of his attendants imperiously. The entire cleaning crew stopped to watch the spectacle as the underling with tool in mouth brushed the emotionally-distressed stallion’s limb clean.
Pinkie’s eyes lit up; her dour mood temporarily gave up the driver’s seat as a deeper impulse took over.

Those are…NEW PONIES.

The bubbly baker cavorted toward the crowd, bouncing with angles that would have made a math teacher drink. “Hello! Hello and welcome to the candy shop which isn’t always this messy but look how everyone’s pitching in to clean so we must be cool to have that kind of customer loyalty and…”

The surprised stallion quickly started talking as the hyperactive mare drew a breath. “No need to explain, my dear. Ponies in the confectionary commerce must be prepared to make a mess for business’ sake. I offer my condolences on your candied catastrophe. I’m…”

The excitable Element-bearer interrupted. “You’re Johnny Jawbreaker, silly! Munchy Monthly named you the number fifteen most important candy-maker in Equestria this year.”**

**Here we definitely detect some of Barker’s famous editorial insertions. You have to love Barker Bullpen’s way of throwing out exposition. Diamond dog writer Gem Shooter claims Barker once made a deadline when a script went missing by reprinting an issue of the Fabulous Four and rewriting all the dialogue to recap what happened in the last month’s titles. Supposedly, sales went up thirty percent! -TM

Jawbreaker’s retinue gave a terrified gasp. The proper businesspony gritted his teeth. “Yes, I seen to have fallen out of the top ten currently. I suppose that’s only natural when you lose an entire factory to worker incompetence.” His offended gaze seemed to be lost on Pinkie.

“Anyway, I came here to offer a greeting and a business opportunity. I’m supervising the construction of the new Jonny Jawbreaker’s Chewing Cave establishment right here in your… quaint hamlet” He extended a hoof with trepidation to the mess-covered candymare. “I came to discuss which products you might wish to carry of ours.”

Twilight quietly walked up behind her excitable friend. “You know, that is a great…”

“Nope! Don’t need it!” Pinkie Pie paradoxically shook her head happily.

Twilight gaped as Jawbreaker raised an offended eyebrow.

The fluffy-haired business-mare bobbed her head. “Everybody bakes their own goods in Ponyville. The Cakes and I would never let someone else’s food carry our name. How could we ensure the goodness?”

Jawbreaker let out an offended snort as her turned away from the conversation. “Well, I hope you can handle being my competitor. Terrible things can happen to overworked little shops such as this one. They can be overwhelmed, you know.”

Pinkie watched Jawbreaker’s retreating haunch, noting his cutie mark of a candy ball shattered by a hammer. “Twilight,” she remarked to the salsa-swilling speechless spellslinger. “I think my back left pastern is tickling.”

The hot-mouthed mare looked skeptical. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The clairvoyant candy-maker frowned as she concluded, “Trouble.”**

**Sometimes, the writer seemed to forget that referring to these character by ACTUAL NAMES was fine. "Lavneder Unicorn Syndrome" prevaded Marevel books of this time period.-TM

Dash stretched out on a cloud over the town. Unlike most times the worried weather mare was wide awake; her body was a knot of tension and guilt. Okay, when Pinkie gives up on you it’s time to throw in the towel. She sighed as the party played itself out in her memories. Great example of loyalty there, Rainbow. You’ll never live this down.

Her features assumed an indignant scowl. No, stomp that! ** She floated off the cloud, her wings vibrating in indignation. I am radical enough to fix this! Awesomeness will fix this, starting with finding that monster. Fighting monsters is suitably cool enough to not look self-serving, right?

**One must be amused at the way the Marevel writers worked to avoid swearing. Once the Comics Code was withdrawn the pent-up profanity resulted in the classic "Marevel Team-Up" story "Mare-Do-Well Shouts to the World: Go Buck Yourself!" -TM

She ground her hooves together as she flew in a contemplative circle. There has to be a way to balance obvious awesomeness and… being whatever Twilight is. What is the word for not talking about how awesome you are?
A genuine smile crept across Rainbow’s face for the first time in days. She had an idea.

Rainbow perched on the edge of a rooftop. As she crawled along the eaves she heard the sound of hoof beats below. The silent flyer’s snout poked out over the edge.

Her vision was suddenly filled with a gigantic pastry-shaped hair bun. The curious form of Mrs. Cake looked timidly around the back of Sugar Cube Corner.* She kicked the garbage cart she had been dragging to the side.

* Dedicated delicacy devotees can still find the Cakes & Hearts collection on sale now! –BB**

**Cakes and Hearts stands out as Bullpen’s most interesting work. His near adjectiveless slice-of-life work about married life was rumored to be his attempt at a sincere love letter to his then-wife of thirty years, written in the only medium he knew how. -TM

“Pinkie, is that you? We’ve discussed how proper ponies shouldn’t sneak up on others.” She cracked an apprehensive smile as she scanned the secluded stretch of alley. She never noticed the silent form of Rainbow Dash behind her hanging upside from a candy-shaped roof outcropping. Ms. Cake shrugged at continued her walk to the garbage. I must have been imagining things.

Rainbow gave a silent fist pump as Ms. Cake disappeared from view. Man, it’s hard to do awesome things that involve no one watching you. She grinned. At least I get to appreciate this.

She quietly levitated through the open door before the middle-aged mare returned. By sticking along the ceiling she effortlessly sailed over Mr. Cake as he set the dinner table. Rainbow wiggled along the staircase to the attic upstairs. Beneath her, something cold and patient stirred to attention.

As the silent intruder made her way through the upper levels of the house she failed to notice an equally stealthy presence behind her. Rainbow’s wings flapped speedily and silently as she cantered along the ceiling in search of the attic opening. She smiled as she found the discolored panel on the roof. Gently and quietly Dash flipped it open, dropping a ladder into the corridor. Having no need of it, she buzzed into the opening. Beneath her notice and altitude a silent presence took great care in navigating the ladder; it had a driving goal that would not be denied.

The enthusiastic blue burglar scanned the dusty room; there were boxes of every shape and size in disorganized heaps. Okay, Pinkie keeps everything up here. Rainbow started rooting through a diversity of cardboard boxes. Is this supposed to be organized? ‘Dragon Diplomacy Costume?’ ‘Zombie Uprising Emergency Supplies?’ Rainbow gasped. ‘Putrid Pork?’ Rainbow looked inside the box with a mix of trepidation and curiosity. Tuba parts and screwdrivers. Huh.*

*There’s way to many references in this paragraph to break down. The knowledgeable fan will know; the loyal fan will find out! -BB

A shadowy figure crept behind the unsuspecting pony. With the care only taken by ambush predators it kept low and out of sight of its prey. As the unwary pony searched the dusty area the hunter crept into the perfect position and sprang.
Dash squeaked; her eyes crossed as she jerked her head up. “That… that is a slobby pair of jaws on my haunch.” Confusion turned to anger. “I’m going to turn around, and if I see a pony there…”

Looking backwards confirmed her suspicions. A tiny toothless reptile gummed her rear with all of it’s might. Gummy’s unblinking purple eyes stared straight ahead, offering no insight to the motive. The tiny gator showed no reaction as two dripping legs kicked it off into the corner.

Man, that thing is creepy. Opal is more violent, Owlowicious is stealthier, but that thing…is creepy.

Two inscrutable orbs of violet kept a watch on Rainbow as she flipped back as she searched the loft. She gave a gigantic grin as she found a box hidden in the side corner. ‘Super-Secret-Not-A-Superhero-Costume?’ Oh, Pinkie…

Pinkie bounced out of the box, spraying confetti everywhere. “Ta-da! You founded the costume!”

Dash looked at her with incredulity and embarrassment. “Pinkie, how could you know I was here? I was as quiet as Fluttershy at a dragon family reunion!”

The cheerful earth pony just blinked and grinned. “How could I know you were putting on a costume to swear an oath to fight a crusade against crime? My Pinkie Sense told me that, silly!”

Dash squinted at her. “What does that one feel like?”

Pinkie bounced in place, moving ever so slightly to the left to avoid a lunging alligator. “Kind of like a faster-paced version of the ‘Rarity takes her special novels out from under her bed because Sweetie Bell’s asleep’ twitch.”** Rainbow worked to keep her thoughts on track as she scratched her mane.

**They must have slipped that past the censor with a tall glass and a mickey finn.-TM

“So, I’m here to…apologize.”

The bubbly pony in the box bobbed her head up and down rapidly. Dash giggled at the resemblance to a jack-in-the-box.

Her partially packed-up pony pal only shook her head. “Rainbow Dash, you are so random. So, why do you want the costume?”

The bashful blue athlete levitated to the floor. “I screwed up today. I let all my friends down, and I have to pay it back.” She suddenly straightened with excitement. “That slushy scum is still out there; I feel kinda responsible.”

The inscrutable pink mare cocked her head. “So, why do you have to dress up? I mean, aside from the fact that you’d look great with a cape.”

Rainbow Dash deflated in front of her bubbly bestie.** “If I go out on patrol again people are going to laugh at me. Nopony can sneak up on crooks with a crowd following them. I need a disguise.”

**You lose a point for that one, Barker. -TM

She grinned widely as she took the costume Pinkie proffered to the pegasus. “Criminals are a stupid, uncool lot. I will become…..awesome.”

The cakes were enjoying a modest dinner as the sound of crashing and shuffling came from upstairs. From the open kitchen window a small blur of green buzzed loudly as it flew up the stairs. Mr. Cake, who had long lived with Pinkie Pie, calmly asked his wife to pass the potatoes.

As pinkie paced impatiently she cast irritated glances at the dressing screen in the attic’s corner. “Dashie, are you done yet?” While she pouted a small form hovered upwards through the trapdoor of the attic. Just as Tank began to feel relief over locating his master he heard a strange shuffling noise beneath him. Looking down he saw a pair of wide toothless jaws held open as a small gator waited patiently. The unnerved tortoise pitched himself several feet to the left; Gummy followed him, silently waiting.*

*Follow Tank and Gummy into their own series, Scaly Stories! –Your Veterinary Voicebox**

**It ran for over three-hundred issues. I have no idea why. -TM

As the slow-paced battle of wills continued around the room, a prismatic flash leapt from behind the dressing curtain. The Mare-Do-Well hovered in the air, posing dramatically. “This is so wicked! Rarity really stitched these duds for flexibility.” She spun around her friend in glee. “Now that I have the style it’s time to start! I’ll catch that dripping dummy in no time.”

“No way!” Pinkie patted Dash on the head, holding her in place. “You can’t fly.” The confusion of the pegasus showed through the mask as her friend explained. “You’ll leave a colored trail, silly-dilly. You have a secret identity to protect. If you’re a rainbow streak we’ve got a leak!”

Dash sighed. “You’re right Pinkie. If I go fast enough I might as well not wear the costume.” She levitated back and forth over the ground in an imitation of pacing. “So how am I going to fight crime without reaching top speed?”

Pinkie giggled. “I’ve got all your great gadgets right here, silly filly! Did I tell you I have a gummy bear grenade? Its ultra-sticky; it’d be terribly to use around Rarity but utterly perfect to corner a candied colossus! It’s somewhere in one of the super-secret untested boxes.” She flung open a bulging crate of brightly painted tools. “I’ve been waiting for the chance to give these a dry run.”

Rainbow rushed over to her friend; as she floated upside down nose-to-nose she stared questioningly at Pinkie. In response the surprised inventor blushed and took an unsteady step backwards; Dash didn’t notice. “Hold on a sec. You’re telling me that you have a bunch of gizmos we’ve never seen because they’re too random even for you?”

Pinkie fell back on her chair, laughing and spinning. “Well, duh! Every invention goes through successive prototypes until it’s absolutely Pinkie picture-perfect. Geez Dashie, did you think the back-mounted confetti launcher I used was the first version? I’d never go singing telegrams with untested technology.” She frowned. “Well, I wouldn’t do it twice. It took so long to get those candy canes out of the side of Applejack’s barn. The cows are still traumatized.”*

*A tale to be revealed on a future day! –BB**

**Liar. I’ve been waiting since I was six. -TM

Dash grinned in the anticipation of awesome surprises. “Pinkie, you’re a genius.”

The complimented cake chef nodded with pride and clucked in response. “Lemme show you what I gots!” She started to uncover a precipitous panoply of parcels. Rainbow began to survey the room; shock turned to excitement as she read the messily scribbled labels. “Taffy traps, candy cords, marshmallow mines? This is perfect! When I get my hooves on that sprinkle-coated street-thug he’s going to be sorry he was ever baked!” Rainbow Dash struck a dramatic pose. “So swears the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well!”

Pinkie smiled and saluted. “Yes, Boss!”

A dripping stranger wound its way through the dark corners of Ponyville. Instinctively shunning attention, no one observed it make its way to the back of a large warehouse. It struck the wall with sticky slams. Soon the brick wall parted; it shambled inside.**

**Sharp readers will note the similarity of dialogue to the classic first Bog Thing story in House of Mysterious Secrets #92. It’s no mystery; Splash Page penned both tales. -TM

The candied creature came to rest in an open cage in the dark and cavernous building. A nervous voice broke the silence. “It’s holding up better than expectations, boss.” A waiting scientist stallion began locking the cage.

A harsh voice answered critically from the scaffolding above. “What use is a monster that can’t scare anyone? I need something to send ponies into the streets screaming! I don’t care if it lasts long enough to outlive you.” The speaker’s tone dripped with menace. “In fact, at this rate of success rather I expect it to.”

The nervous pony in the lab coat looked up into the darkness. “W-w-we don’t have to rely solely on Unit One, sir. The rest of the batch is ready to utilize. We can s-send out whatever you think would be scary enough for the next mission. Who should I prep?”

A maniacal cackle startled the worker into dropping his clipboard. “If we want to inspire terror there’s only one choice.” The voice from the shadows rang out like doom.

“Let them know the fear that can only be caused by...Cupcakes!”

Next Issue: The Pastry that Panicked Ponyville! The Plucky Pegasus Plows into Peril! Mayhem Masterly Mixed in the Mighty Marevel Manner! Join us next time True Believer for…’When Cupcakes Walk the Earth!’**

**The Marevel offices were surprised at the reception this first Silver Age “Rainbow Dash as Mare-Do-Well” story received, especially given that it was printed as a back-up following the flagging series “Spike: Son of the Dragon.” Industry insiders commented on how the new interpretation of Pinkie Pie resembled Barker’s estranged daughter Skid Skates, who had moved out of her father’s house following the famous fight that made comic fans gossip for years. We’ll comment as we go about how Pinkie changes under Splash’s pen, and what Barker did to Splash once he noticed. See you next time, comic fans! -TM