Renegades

by Mindless Drone

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Violence, Death, Drama, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Original Character
Length: 6867

Not your usual misfit gang of bandits. This one actually has structure. Kinda.

It started with two brothers, then a marefriend, then some buddies, and it all went downhill from there. Meet the Bandits, a group of... well, bandits... that don't think of themselves as criminals. Because they're not criminals, they're Renegades. Roll credits.
In any case, these jackasses have a well knit group thrown together from a younger brother's thrill seeking visions of a bandit group. Luckily, it all worked out. Hopefully, it works out for as long as they think it will.

Will contain: Lots and lots and lots of gore, minor sex speak without actual sex, extremely crude language, and anything else I can come up with in the span of this story.

Published 2022-01-22 18:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-16 08:11:27 UTC

Prologue: Out of Time

Renegades: Prologue
Oh, mama, I can hear you a'cryin', so sad, and all alone...

Dear mama,
It’s over, mama. We ain’t got nowhere to go.
The news got out about me and the others,
And we ain’t got very long. It ain’t too long until
Hangman comes down from them gallows and
Wants to get us all up there. I’m sorry, mama...
I don’t think I’ll be coming home this time.

Con galloped across the desert, his long brown mane flowing in the wind. His eyes were stinging from the dust being kicked up from his heavy steps, but he pushed on anyway. His eyes were wild, darting back and forth for reasons unknown. His breath got heavier and heavier as he attempted to push himself faster than ever before. He looked back, taking care not to trip over his own hooves. He saw them, and pushed even faster. He bared his teeth, a sharp stitch jabbing him in the ribs. He wasn’t as able-bodied as he thought, but he dared push himself further. As he accelerated to speeds he never knew he could reach, he heard a whooshing sound. Suddenly, he hit the ground hard.

"Gah, fuck!" He hit his nose hard on the ground, and he felt the blood rush down his nostrils. He lifted his head off the ground, scrunching his face, feeling the blood drip down past his mouth and onto the sand. He looked down at his feet. His legs were bound. He had been running so quickly, and had been so frantic, that he hadn’t noticed the heavy bola being slung in his direction. He struggled to break the rope, but it was too strong.

“God… goddammit! The hell is this, reinforced?” He muttered to himself, writhing against the rope. "Got me tied up like a damned hog!"

“You’d better believe it, asshole,” said a voice from a dark silhouette above him. The hot desert sun was too high overhead for him to see the figure's colours. “I ain’t lettin’ you have a chance at escapin’, Con. I already got the rest of your asshole friends. Time to face the consequences of your actions.”

Con struggled more, trying to eventually get out of his bonds. He wasn’t having any luck at all. He grew silent, something he didn't think he could do, and glared up at the figure above him.

“Mean mug me all you want, you ain’t goin’ nowhere. Except jail, of course. Heh.” The silhouetted pony roughly grabbed Con by the mane, and dragged him to the wagon that was following him. He hadn't seen it before, and the ponies that were driving it were all pegasi. It must have come from the sky. Con tried wriggling out of the figure’s hold, with no avail. As soon as he was tossed into the back of the wagon, he looked up at the figure. He had a deep blue mane, and a cream coloured coat. He wore a black Stetson, and a triumphant smirk.

“Welcome to your new life as a jailed criminal, Con. Your friends enjoy it. Not.” The pony slammed the metal back door of the wagon. “I’ll see you back at the prison,” they called from outside. “’Cuz you ain’t goin’ nowhere else.”

Con heard the pony’s voice call to somepony else, and the wagon took off. It left the ground, and sped off in whatever direction it was going. He slid to the back of the wagon because of the force of the takeoff, and slammed against the door. He grunted, and looked around. He was the only pony in the back of the wagon. Nopony else to aid his escape.

“Goddammit,” he snarled. “How the hell am I gonna get outta this?” He kept struggling against the ropes. "Well, I did get myself into this mess to begin with. Ah, hell." He looked around the wagon, trying to find a way out. He then thought of something he should have thought of in the beginning. He contorted his body to reach the rope with his teeth. He bit at the rope, gnawing down the twine that tightly wound together around his legs. Strands made a small twang as they broke, and he got through the rope somewhat quickly. The rope fell down around him, and he shakily stood up in the rapidly moving wagon. He grinned, proud of himself for getting out of the bindings quickly. He felt at the door.

“Well shit. Shut tight.” He said, knocking on the door with his hoof. Didn’t sound very sturdy. He grinned again, and moved back. “Alright, guys, I’mma coming to get y’all.” With the speed of the wagon behind him, and the force of his full sprint the opposite direction, the door burst open. In the process, Con burst out the wagon.

Author's Note

The Prologue.
If you're reading this, you are reading the Prologue. Don't worry, more description on Pro and the gang later on! This is just the beginning. Thanks for the read!

Chapter 1: Con

Renegades: Chapter 1

I woke up early in the morning, thinking my life was going to be the same as always. Boy was I wrong.

I got up a bit after daybreak, with the sun having just risen above the horizon, and made my way to the door. I ran my hoof through my mane, which was still confused whether or not it wanted to be roguishly handsome or a Shakeshoovian Tradgedy, and sighed. Another boring day on the farm, I thought to myself. It was true. Evey day was the same old thing, push this, or push that, plow the field, plant this, plant that. It pissed me off. Although, my brother Pro had it worse. He had to sit around all day and do the money shit. The lazy ass even liked it, and stuck me with the heavy lifting. Oh well.

I pushed the door open with my forehead, and look out unto the rolling hills that was my family's country farm. It was a huge farm, that's true, but once it got down to it, work was over at the drop of a hat. I shook off the morning grog and put on my black stetson, which was hanging on a hook on the left of my door. I did a little shake of my body, and trotted down my stairs.

So you see, my family all lives in different houses. I live in my little shanty to the west of the grain fields, because that was my area to take care of. My brother lived in his hut at the east side of the melons, as he tended to those when they needed tending. My parents and younger sister, all in one house we called the denhouse, lived in the middle of everything. My sister Double Cross tended to the pigs and chickens, my father Contrast worked the vegetable field, and my mother Vice Versa stayed inside, cooking and cleaning. I never really thought of it much, but my brother despised the fact that she was cooped up in the house all day. It got to the point where he and my father even got into a little scrap about it. Had my brother worked the fields like he used to, he probably would have torn my father to shreds, but my father was bulky and strong. He got out of it with only a black eye, but my sister had to carry Pro on her back to get him to the doctor.

Speaking of the doctor, he was over at the denhouse tending to a broken rib my sister got after she was rammed in the side by one of the pigs. I decided to head over there to see how she was holding up before getting to my chores. I cut through the wheat to get to the denhouse faster. I opened the door slowly, as to not disturb the doc. He was up on his hind legs, reaching behind my sister, wrapping bandages around her.

"Hey, sis, " I said to her. "How're ya holdin' up?"

She looked at me, deadpan and bored looking. "I'm pretty shit, if ya ask me," she drawled. "But hey, ain't nothin' like a good ol' ram in the ribs to keep ya up and runnin', am I right?"

I sighed. "Double, you're gonna kill yourself one o' these days if ya keep that outlook."

"Ain't nothin' like a little death to keep ya dead, eh?"

The doctor looked at the both of us angrily. "Will the both of you quiet down?" He looked at my sister. "You, shut up. I cant asses your ailment if you're yakking it up with your brother." He then turned to me. "You, get out of here before I need to take in another patient because my bonesaw has slipped out of my hoof."

Obviously, that was my cue to leave. I spun on my back hoof and walked out the door.

I headed back behind the denhouse, to the shed that held all the tools I needed for my field work today. I turned the wheel on the pipe that connected to our water supply, and heard the sprinkler system spatter to life. The water sprayed out of the nozzles on the long, narrow metal rods... hehe, rods... and did the tedious watering job for me mechanically. I sauntered out of the shed, grinning to myself as I saw the numerous rainbows that showed when the light hit the mist.

I watched the mist and rainbows for a few minutes, and then trotted off to my shanty to wait for the water to stop. After that happened, I would have to go and find the mature grains and reap them. I walked into the door, and looked around for a brown bag labeled "Manure," which I was sure I would not find in the first five minutes of my being there.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Con, get on with the real story already! I don't need to listen to your entire day at the farm! Well, here's where things start to get interesting.

After the first few minutes of struggle trying to find that dang manure bag, I heard hoofsteps from behind me. Heavy, but not my father's. I turned to find Pro standing in the door, with a mischievous grin. My older brother isn't one for walking the whole length of the farm just to come see me, so I figured it had to be good.

A moment passed.

"Can I... help you?" I asked.

"There's money missing," Pro started, "and I think I know where it went, Con."

I immediately knew I was busted. You see, I've got a bit of an illusion of grandure when it comes to life. The ways of bandits, gunslingers, and cattle rustlers were always so intriguing to me. Pro and I used to talk about it all the time as foals, about how fun it would be to work outside the law and do as we please. The problem was, he grew up, I didn't. Or so I thought.

A couple days ago, I figured Hell, if they can do it, why can't I? I've got the wits, just need a few bits to get myself outta this damn farm. I didn't know when I'd leave, but I guessed I could figure that part out afterward. My brother was a bit smarter than that, I suppose, and my poker face is only good when I'm not being caught red handed. Pro must've watched my face twitch, because he chuckled.

"Relax, Con, I'm no rat." He moved from his spot in the doorway to my bed. "I just figured I'd come check, is all."

He reached under my mattress(I know it's a terrible hiding spot, but hidden in plain sight, right?) and pulled out the small bag of bits that I had snagged from Double's payroll. He held it in his hoof, gauging its weight as if to say that's it?

"Listen, Pro―"

"You're gonna start a gang with this?" he interrupted. I choked on my words, taken aback by what he'd said. He tossed me the bag of money and rolled his eyes. "Pack your shit," he said, sauntering out of my shanty. "I'll get us a bit more. We leave in 25."

I couldn't believe it. Pro was going to help me start a gang? Was this really happening? Despite my disbelief, I packed a saddlebag with some essentials. I grabbed the six shooter that I had kept since my 21st birthday, from when father had decided I was old enough to own one. It took me about 20 minutes pack, and true to his word my brother met me at the front fat of the farm in another five.

"We're really doin' this?" I asked with bated breath. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," grinned Pro. It was as if he'd been waiting for this moment for years.

Just like that, we set off from the farm, our old life, and the easy road for the rest of our lives. How long it would last, we had no idea.

We also had no idea just how difficult the road ahead could be.

Author's Note

I didn't realize how much I had planned for this, how interesting. This is kinda neat though, I dig it.

Chapter 2: Pros and Cons

We headed from the farm to the nearest town, Wagon Wheel. As the farm grew smaller on the horizon, I began to think of who I wanted in the gang. Pro and I walked in silence for a bit, then I posed a question.

"Are you a good shot?"

Pro laughed pretty hard at that, I suppose it was kind of out of the blue.

"I mean," he started. "I can hit a hog from a good ways away but I wouldn't say I'm a sharpshooter."

I nodded. "Yeah, me either. We'll probably want someone who can actually shoot."

"That's a solid idea."

I thought about it for a minute, and had an idea. "I think I know just the mare for the job."

We made it to Wagon Wheel, and immediately I headed toward the saloon. I figured I'd find her there, causing trouble like usual, and I was right. From the outside, it was relatively tame seeming, with boisterous laugher and a general raucous with soft ragtime playing in the background. As we pushed open the double doors though, we were immediately greeted by the entire saloon gathered around one table. I told Pro to head to the bar top, and I made my way into the crowd to find who I was looking for.

She was sitting at the table at the center of the crowd. Her jet black mane was pulled back in a ponytail and her brown fur was flushed at the cheeks. Her pegasus wings were tucked in to her sides, twitching occasionally. She was holding five cards, and her mismatched eyes, one brown and one electric blue, we're intensely focused on them through her glasses. The four others that were seated with her at the table were also holding cards, but they were all focused on her. Some were getting impatient.

"You gonna play, or what?" growled one of the particularly big stallions.

She rolled her eyes and tossed three cards to the middle of the table, face down. The dealer tossed her three more, she picked them up, and looked up at the dealer.

The dealer looked to his left at the stallion who had just spoken up. "We will now start our final round of betting. You are first."

The stallion grunted. He tossed a couple bits on the table and leaned back in his seat. The next two folded, and the third also tossed in a couple bits.

"Miss Spade?" says the dealer expectantly.

She giggles. "I'm gonna need another shot," she says, tossing in her bet. "I'm ready if y'all are."

The two that folded stand from the table and begin to leave, and the dealer takes their cards. "It's time for the showdown."

The big stallion throws down his cards. "Full house, suckers."

The other pony sighs. "Three of a kind, Jacks."

Spade's giggle turns to a full laugh. "Read 'em and weep, boys!" It was a straight flush, 3 through 7 diamonds. She leaned over the table, unfolded her wings, scooped up the pot, and pulled the bits toward her. The big stallion thumped the table and stood. The other pony also stood, but calmly. With the whole table vacated, I sat across from Spade. The crowd, which had begun to disperse, came back. I got a few "good luck, pal" mutters from behind me.

She was counting her bits, and without looking up she said "Who's the new challenger? Ready to get your ass kicked?"

I chuckled. "See for yourself, Club of Spade. Ain't seen you in a few days, this what you been up to?"

As soon as she heard my voice, her expression darkened. She looked up from her bits and made eye contact with me. "What the hell do you want, Con? I'm gonna need a lot more booze if I'm gonna deal with your antics right now."

I turned to the dealer and winked. "Let's just play some Five Card Draw, huh?" As I said that, I tossed in a couple bits for the ante. The dealer nodded and turned to Spade.

"Yeah, yeah, alright." She tosses in two of her own.

The dealer slides us each five cards. He waits for a moment, letting us look at our hooves. He gave me literally nothing: an ace and 6 of hearts, a jack of spades, a 3 of clubs, and a 9 of diamonds. I looked up at Spade, and she made eye contact with me again. I winked, and she scoffed.

"I've got a proposition for you, Spade," I say as I toss in a bit to the center of the table. "Pro and I are lookin' for ponies, and I know you've got what we're lookin' for."

Spade looks at her cards again, and raises me by a single bit. "You know I hate it when you beat around the bush, jack-wagon. Get to it already."

I look at the bits on the table, back at my cards, and shrug. "I think you know what I mean." I toss in a bit to match her bet. "We been talkin' 'bout it since we were foals, you Pro and I."

Her eyes got wide. I couldn't see her mouth from behind the cards, but I figured she must be smiling. Her wings twitched, and after a couple seconds she looked back at me from her cards.

"How much?" Gotcha.

"Well," I mused, tossing the dealer my 6, 9, and jack, face down. He slid me three new cards from the deck. "I can't pay you up front, but once we get who we need I don't think money will be an issue." I look down at my cards. Still jack shit: a 2 of clubs, a queen of hearts, and a 4 of spades. Almost had the straight, if I'd gotten a 5 instead of that damn queen.

Spade scoffed. "I dunno about that, Con." She exchanged two cards of her own. "What's the guarantee that I get my money's worth in this deal?"

I tossed in a bit. "You know I'm good for it. If nothin' else, trust Pro. You know him and bits."

Spade thought for a moment, then gave a hefty sigh. She looked back to one of the ponies in the crowd that was closest to her.

"Get me a gin on the rocks, would ya?" she asked, tossing the stallion a bit. He was caught off guard, but he caught it and went to go get her the drink. As he did so, Spade tossed in three bits to the pot.

I tossed in four of my own, raising her by two. We made eye contact, and she stared into me for a long while. When she'd decided she was done looking into my devilishly handsome brown eyes, she sighed again. The stallion came back, handed her the drink, and she sipped it.

"I fold, you got me. Let's see what you got."

I laughed heartily. Spade and I tossed down our cards at the same time. She had a full house, a pair of 2s and three of a kind 6s.

"Jack shit," I said in between fits of laughter. The crowd around us went nuts.

Spade slammed the table with her hoof. "You're the only bastard I know who can lie to me straight through your damn teeth. You're a lucky son of a bitch, Con."

After finally regaining my composure, I grinned. "Yeah, I know. So whaddya say? You comin' with us?"

She stood from the table. "Let's go talk to Pro, maybe I'll like what he has to say more."

She headed to the bar, and I collected my winnings. I sat there and counted my bits for a minute or two, then put them away and followed Spade to the bar. She was seated next to Pro, and it seemed like they were in some pretty deep conversation. I sat on the other side of Pro and got the attention of barkeep. I ordered an Apple Ale, and she slid it to me along the bartop.

"He won't touch any but his share of the money," Pro was explaining. "I'll be handling payroll and supply financing, so you don't have to worry about money."

Spade was swirling her glass of gin around, sipping it every once in a while. "I suppose it sounds like a good deal. What's the cut? How many ponies we lookin' for?"

Pro looked at me, looking for an answer.

"I'd say five or six of us will work. Cut amounts are up to you, bro."

Pro tapped his chin with his hoof. "I'll do some thinking, come up with some percentages. Probably something around 19 percent, just to leave a bit of room for supplies and give some extra cash to you, Con." He turns to Spade. "Sound good to you?"

Spade shrugged. "I guess it'll finally get me outta this town, so I'm in." She looked past Pro and looked at me. "Where we headed first, boss?"

I think for a moment, then chug the rest of my Apple Ale. I stood up and started for the door. "Next town over, I guess. I don't think any of us can pick a lock, so we're gonna need someone who can."

Author's Note

I had a lot of fun writing this chapter lol. For some reason I really enjoy writing card games, especially high stakes or conversational games. Hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 3: The Pros and Cons of Card Games

Now, when I said "the next town over," I hadn't realized that the next town would be further than a day's travel. I guess now that I'm the boss, nopony wanted to argue with me, but damn it would've been nice for either Spade or Pro to say "hey Con, we don't have camping supplies other than sleeping bags ya nimrod."

It was already well past noon once Spade had grabbed her rifle and packed a saddlebag for the road, so I probably should've had us stay in town for the night. Most of the smarts in the family went to Pro, so unfortunately I didn't think of that. We walked for about two more hours before it got almost fully dark.

"Hey Con," started Spade. "I know you're the one runnin' this whole shindig, but I don't think travelin' in the dark is a great idea."

"Seconded," Pro agreed.

I stopped walking when I realized the two of them had slowed down. I took off my saddlebag and sat down, looking around.

"Yeah, y'all are right. Did either of you bring a lamp or happen to snag some firewood?"

They both looked at me like an idiot.

Spade damn near slapped me. "No, Con, we didn't bring any fuckin' 'firewood.' Are you serious?"

"Hey, I dunno, I was hopin' one of us was prepared!" I looked around for some trees, momentarily forgetting that we weren't anywhere near trees. The area of plains we were in was near devoid of trees for miles in every direction.

"So, what're we gonna do?" asked Spade. Pro was silent, but he was looking around as well.

I took the bedroll off my saddlebag and laid it out. "I dunno, but we're gonna have to figure out who's gonna take first watch."

"Well it ain't gonna be me," said Spade. "Ain't no way I could hit anything in the dark, so I'm pretty useless right now."

I went to look at Pro, but he was already lying in his sleeping bag.

"I guess it's up to me then," I grumbled. I watched as Spade laughed and pulled a bedroll from her saddlebag. She unroll it, fluffs it up a bit, the crawls inside. Within 5 to 10 minutes, she's asleep and gently snoring. I sat for a moment in the night, seriously regretting not bringing a lantern or something.

I sat for what felt like an eternity, watching Luna's moon rise in the sky. It wasn't quite full, so the night was still extremely dark. I half hoped that something would happen, just to kill the boredom. Much to my disappointment, the moon reached its apex without incident.

It took me a moment to figure out who I wanted to take over my watch. I thought maybe Spade, make her pull some weight in these early stages, but I figured Pro was a bit older and wiser. I shook him in his sleeping bag.

He grumbled a bit, but after a minute or two he got up and took watch.

I was back at the farm, standing in the corn fields. It was windy, but in a warm, inviting way. It was my home, and it felt the same as it always had, but it carried a somewhat ominous feeling. As I watched the corn sway, I couldn't help but wonder why I'd left it all behind to chase these delusions of gradure.

The sky turned gray with clouds. After a moment, the overcast sky became dark and angry, cracking with thunder. The rain started coming down in sheets. I tried to run inside, but I couldn't move. Lighting flashed, and I heard a voice I didn't recognize.

"Careful, kid. Death is a preferable alternative to what could happen to you. Don't say I didn't warn you."

Lightning again, then black.

I woke to the smell of bacon and beans. Sitting up, I attempted to open my eyes but the sun told me otherwise. I grabbed my hat from next to my bedroll and put it on, shading myself. Wiping the grog from my eyes, I looked over to where the smell was coming from and saw Pro hunched over a fire, cooking breakfast.

"Where the hell did you find that wood?" I asked incredulously. "I don't see any trees around here..."

Pro, without looking, pointed North. I followed his hoof, and sure enough there was a patch of trees right over the closest hill.

"Ah, okay."

I looked over at Spade. She was still asleep, but somehow she managed to completely turn herself around in the sleeping bag, hindquarters sticking out instead of her head.

"Toss me that can, would ya?" I said to Pro. He tossed me the empty bean can.

"Don't miss," he said.

I clocked back for the throw, eyeing my target: Spade's flank. I took a second to really focus in, and let 'er loose. I must've thrown it a bit harder than I meant to, because Spade nearly jumped 10 feet in the air and yelped pretty loud. She wriggled out of her sleeping back and looked between Pro and I. She saw Pro cooking breakfast, so her gaze came to rest on me. Her eyes narrowed.

"Why, I oughtta..." she growled, reaching for her rifle.

I started laughing. "Whoah there, filly. Just tryna wake you up, is all." I looked to my brother. "How's breakfast comin'?"

He grabbed a couple bowls as I was asking and started serving the bacon and beans. He handed Spade a bowl first, quelling her anger. She scoffed in my direction before starting to dig in. Pro then handed me a bowl, and I gave him my gratitude before I started eating. The beans were baked in a thick, sweet, and savory broth, and it perfectly complimented the fatty and greasy nature of the bacon.

"This is one of the best damn breakfasts I've ever had," said Spade through a mouthful of beans. "I really hope you keep cookin', and not dimwit over there."

I rolled my eyes. "I cook too, thank you very much. No self-respecting stallion can't cook."

"I dunno about that one," mused Pro. "You're pretty liable to burning down the barn with your baking sometimes."

Spade laughed and nearly choked on her beans.

"Hey, that melon pie I made the other week was good!" I had to defend myself, I was pretty confident in my baking skills.

"That was like, the third attempt that day."

Beans came out of Spade's nose.

"Yeah, yeah, alright."

After finishing breakfast, I stood and started packing my stuff. Once Spade was cleaned up from her laughing fit, she started doing the same, all the while giggling to herself. Pro, after snuffing out the fire, grabbed our bowls and washed them out with his canteen. Once we were all packed up, we set off on the road once more.

We had only been walking for about an hour before we found a sign that pointed toward our next destination.

"Driftwood?" said Spade quizzically. "Maybe I've never been this way outta town, but I've never heard of Driftwood."

"Small trading town," my brother explained. "Known mostly for gunfights and robberies, since a lot of caravans have to go through there."

"Sounds like my kinda town," I joked. "Maybe we'll find some muscle 'round there."

"Ain't that what you're for?" said Spade.

I feigned offense. "I'm the leader! I couldn't put myself in harms way by bein' the muscle!"

Spade and my brother both rolled their eyes in tandem.

"In all seriousness," I said, "I'm pretty sure I've got the best way with words outta the three of us, so I think we'd be better off snaggin' some bigger guys at this next town."

Pro shrugged and nodded in agreement. Spade thought for a moment, then also agreed.

"Yeah I suppose my feminine charm only goes so far when I sound like a card swindler."

"Speaking of swindling," started Pro. "I think we should start our first job in Driftwood."

"Solid idea," I said. "Whaddya have in mind?"

"Well," he mused, looking at Spade. "I've got a plan."

Author's Note

Not too much going on in this chapter, mainly a transition/travel chapter. By the way, don't let the chapter titles fool you. This is all still "Chapter 1," I just title them all like that for ease of access. Hope you enjoyed!

Chapter 4: Connoisseurs, Professionals, and Card Dealers

"God fuckin' dammit! How do I keep losing?"

I stood up from the small table. There was a small crowd gathered around, all jeering at me.

"You're a dumbass, I saw that coming from a mile away," said one stallion. "I bet you I'd win on the first try!"

I turned to look at him. "Go ahead, try it then, asshole." I trotted away indignantly, heading toward the small saloon that the table was set up at. On the way in, I passed Pro, shooting him a wink and flashing a smile. When he saw me, he got off the wall he was leaning on and walked toward the table.

I made my way inside the saloon and waited, buying a couple drinks for myself. The bar was pretty empty, with most of the patrons enamored by the happenings outside. I spied a dartboard on the wall and started playing.

After about 20 minutes, I heard the saloon doors swing open. I didn't turn around, but I heard the bartkeep call out to the newcomers.

"Duke, Deisel, I hope you didn't get swindled by that mare out there like this fella'?"

A gruff voice retorted. "Nah, you know us. Not ones for card games anyway." The hoofbeats of the two got louder as the headed up to the bar. Maybe these two could be just who we were looking for.

Thump. Bullseye. I heard them sit, and after a moment of not-so-quiet whispering I felt their eyes on my back.

Thump. Bullseye. The same voice from before: "Hey, Tonic. Can I get a Rum? Black, you know how I like it." A carbonated bottle opens, along with a corked bottle. I hear some shaking, then a drink slides across the bar top. A second voice, higher in pitch but smoother in tone, says "I'll have the same."

Thump. Bullseye. Damn, I'm good. I go and grab the darts from the board, and as I turn to head back to where I was standing I catch the eyes of the two stallions.

I damn near lost it. The bigger of the two was a sky blue coated pegasus with a cobalt blue mane. He had a mustache, and it was curled up at the ends. His eyes, while a striking green, told me that he wasn't nearly as tough as his voice made him seem. The smaller one, sitting next to him and staring more intensely, was a purple unicorn with a dark auburn mane, combed to the side. His eyes matched his mane, but his stare was colder, more calculating.

"Fellas," I greeted. They both gave me a nod and went back to loudly whispering. I shrugged and returned to my darts game.

Thump. Just outside the bullseye. The small one must've rattled me. I could hear the big one asking if the bartender had ever seen me before. "Nope, not that I remember," came the reply.

Thump. Triple 20. Nah, I'm good. Just gotta refocus. They look strong, but just how strong were they actually...?

"You're not from 'round here, are you stranger?"

Thump. Bullseye. The gruff voice damn near threw me off. Before grabbing my darts, I turned around to face the two. I took a sip of my Manehattan and flashed a cool smile.

"From a farm a few towns over, ain't been this way." I set down my drink and turned to grab the darts. "Why do you ask?"

The smooth voice replied. "We don't get many visitors here in Driftwood."

"Ain't safe for outsiders," added the gruff voice.

I set the darts on the tray next to the board. "I can handle myself just fine, but I appreciate the warning." I didn't turn back around, but gave the bartender a sideways glance. He didn't seem phased by what the two were saying, so I figured he was in on it.

"More than a warning, friend." The gruff voice was closer now, he'd gotten off his bar stool.

I felt something cold poke against the back of my head. I chuckled.

"C'mon, you're gonna tell me that's how you greet a new friend?"

"Sorry pal, that's just the way it is." The smaller stallion hadn't moved. Judging by the proximity of the bigger one, the gun pressed to my skull was being levitated by the unicorn.

"Listen, guys," I started. I won't lie, I was a bit caught off guard, so I had to think on my feet. "I may not look it, but I'm a bit quicker than I look. I don't want this to end badly for anyone, namely myself. What say we put the guns away and pretend this never happened, eh?"

Click. Guess not.

"You've got until I count to ten to empty your saddlebags before I blow your brains onto the triple 20." The small one had a way with words, very intimidating. Maybe I found our next two crew members.

"One," said the big one.

"Two," said the small one.

Such teamwork! They have a system and everything.

"Three." The big one was closer.

"Four." The gun pressed a little harder into my head.

Light bulb! I hoped they couldn't see my grin.

"Can either of you pick a lock?"

Silence. I think I had succeeded. The bigger one didn't seem interested, however.

"We don't have to answer your random ass questions, idiot. Five." His voice was slightly farther though, so I must've surprised him a little. Now it was my turn to be surprised.

"Why do you ask?" The smaller one rose from his barstool, but kept the gun to my head. He didn't say a number, so I figured I was safe for now.

"Well," I mused. "My pals and I are gettin' together to have a bit of fun across Equestria. We're lookin' for muscle and somepony to pick locks, 'cuz none of us can do it."

"Deisel, you're really gonna let this guy mouth off like that?" growled the big one. "Let's just rob him and get on with our day."

Click. The gun came off the back of my head. I sighed, turned around, and gave a grin to the two. Deisel, the smaller one, floated the revolver back to his saddlebag.

"I dunno, Duke. I kinda wanna hear him out," he said.

I nodded to Deisel. "Thanks for bein' sensible. We ain't got too much planned yet, but our first score is gonna come pretty soon. Once we've got the gang together, we're gonna try a big job." I looked at the bartender, who had gone back to cleaning glasses and was feigning ignorance.

Duke huffed. "So I guess I'd be the muscle? Who else have you got?"

I looked past them to the outside of the saloon. The crowd was beginning to thin out, as Spade was running everyone out of their bits. I looked back to Duke and Deisel.

"Come have a few drinks with me, you'll meet them soon."

It took a minute more to convince them, but we eventually sat and started talking like normal ponies. I learned that they were childhood friends, both orphaned at a young age, and made money to eat by robbing and scamming travelers and traders. They worked as a team so well because they'd been doing it for years, since Duke wasn't terribly smart and Deisel was a little cold-blooded.

A little while later, Spade came sauntering in. She noticed me with Deisel and Duke, stopped for a moment, but came and sat next to me on the opposite side after I beckoned her over.

"This is Spade," I said, introducing her to the two of them. "She's our resident crackshot and sleight of hoof specialist." I looked over at her. "What's the haul?"

She smiled wide. "This town's full of suckers," she said, plopping a sack of bits on the bar top. "About 850 bits."

Deisel's eyes got wide, and Duke whistled in amazement.

"Solid, great job Spade. Where's my brother?" I asked.

"He's takin' the long way around. He helped sell it when the last few were kinda skeptical. Let him win a few times."

I nodded. When I looked over at Duke and Deisel, I could tell they were nearly sold.

Deisel caught my eyes. "What's the pay?" he asked. His cold auburn eyes bore into mine.

"About 19 percent per job? I dunno, my brother handles payroll." I shrugged. "I'm no good with money, and he handled money back on the farm."

As I said that, Pro walked in. He sat on the other side of Spade.

"Should we grab a table?" I asked. "I don't wanna be sittin' in the middle of conversation."

We all got up from the bar and found a five seated round table. Thankfully, it was close to the dartboard, so I started playing again.

While I threw darts, the rest of the gang talked around the table.

"So one of y'all picks locks?" asked Spade.

"I can," answered Deisel, "but I'd need tools. I lost my lockpicks a long time ago."

"Whaddya need?" I chimed in, mid throw.

"At the basic level, a screwdriver and either bobby pins or paperclips."

"I'm sure we could manage that." I threw a dart and looked a Pro. He nodded in agreement.

After I threw my last dart, I turned and came back to the table. "So, fella's," I started, leaning on the table and looking at Deisel and Duke. "Whaddya say?"

They looked at one another for a moment, then around at Spade, Pro and I.

"We're in," they said simultaneously.

Author's Note

I liked writing this chapter! A small confrontation, the first of many. Let me know what yall think in the comments!