373 Counts of Littering

A faint illumination speared through the cracks made by the drapes in Twilight's lab. Only faintly illuminating a dark room stuffed to the rafters with equipment of all shapes and sizes. Graduated cylinders, drop out cylinders, bunsen burners and vats of bubbling liquid covered every table that didn't already have a book on it. Amidst it all stood a tall purple alicorn with a star cutie mark. On her face were a set of goggles through which she peered intently at a boiling beaker. All the while slowly levitating a single tiny blue crystal about the size of a sprinkle into the concoction. The mixture hissed and bubbled as the crystal came closer as if it sought to escape. The liquid pressed itself against the walls of it's container, fleeing the lowering blue glowing crystal. Slowly, slowly…. The Princess of friendship concentrated intently, oblivious to everything else.

“Watcha doing?”

The silence was shattered by a high pitched voice just millimeters from her ear. Her magic fizzled as her concentration was broken and in an instant the crystal exploded. The room was instantly filled by a thick grey smoke. Pinky Pie calmly went to the window and threw it open, making exaggerated whooshing sounds as she pushed the smoke out of the room. With the window closed once more the only sound left in the room was the hacking cough of the Princess. Who was rolling around on the floor, eyes red and bloodshot. The goggles which had done nothing were tossed aside. Pinky jumped forward and took a deep breathe in. Then exhaled into Twilight’s mouth leaving the already stunned princess in an even deeper state of shock. As Pinky’s lips left her own she could feel her breathing normalize once more. Taking a few cautionary breaths she stood back up on shaky legs.

Before her was the pony who nearly killed her, then promptly saved her. To say her feelings were mixed would be an understatement. The pink pony looked at her with eyes filled with worry. Had she been staring? A faint smell of burnt flowers filled her nostrils and she lurched forward on her hooves. Thankfully PInky leapt forward and caught her. Something was off. She was pink as she always was, smelling faintly of sugar with long straight hair hair. Uh oh. Pinky looked down into her eyes with a mixture of fear and guilt and immediately began balling great crocodile tears and apologizing over and over. “I'm so sorry Twilight i didn't mean to sneak up on you i just didn't want to break your concentration.”

Forcing her mind back she thought about how the pink mare had entered the room after knocking. Whispering politely instead of shouting in her ear and maybe she had been just a little bit jumpy. Her annoyance slowly crumbled as she thought about it. Upon reflection she had heard the knock but had written it off as Spike chewing on the castle wall again. And maybe she had been up for far too long without sleep. Her annoyance and anger fell away, quickly replaced by shame at letting time slip away on her again. Gratitude slowly filled the space left behind by annoyance. Pinky always did pop up when she had spent too much time alone, always appearing out of thin air when Twilight needed an excuse to get out.

Placing a hoof on the grief stricken Pinky she tried to talk, and after wheezing a few more times she was successful. “That's fine Pinky i should be thanking you. I wasn't paying attention and besides you more than made up for it by ridding me of all that smoke my experiment made.” Although her methods were a little more intimate than the princess would like. Thoughts of the pink pony’s lips against hers suddenly assaulted her mind only to be quickly driven away.

Pinky sniffed and looked down to Twilight still held in her lap. “Are you sure?"

Twilight’s head bobbed enthusiastically. Her mind was still clouded by a lingering pink mist. Her thoughts seemed to flee before they could manifest. Words she had said a million times felt strange. Pinkie's mane was really fluffy, wait why was her mane on her head? Pinky’s lips pressed against hers and her voice filled her mind. “Yippee! Sorry about that Twilight hopefully my magical kiss will help!”

The cloud in Twilight’s mind seemed to lift as images of their last date came unbidden to her mind. Whether or not it was actually Pink's magical kiss or hapstance, it didn't matter she appreciated the effort all the same. The logical part of Twilight’s mind refused to believe there was such a thing as a healing kiss but she couldn't argue with the results, placebo or not.

Twilight rolled her body over making sure not to land on a wing. Something she had done way too many times over the last few years. Slowly easing herself on shaky hooves she took stock of her swirling thoughts. Pinky had kissed her, twice! Sure they had gone on a date the week before but she was hesitant to go on another. Not because she didn't like Pinky, quite the opposite! Twilight harbored a less than secret infatuation with the pink pony, the intensity of which scared her at times. What if Pinky didn't feel the same? All of Twilight's newfound social grace apparently didn't extend to matters of the heart. Making a note to maybe get some advice from somepony more experienced she shook the errant thoughts from her head and looked over to the still morose Pinky.

Bottom lip extended in a pout and a concerned look plastered across her face. This was not a face Twilight was used to seeing on her pink friend. Silently chastising herself for making Pinky worry she walked up and placed a far more chaste kiss on her friend’s nose. The effect was immediate, Pinky bounced up to her hooves and wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Ohmygosh i was so worried for a second there!” Pinky playfully hit the alicorn’s shoulder.

“I'm fine, really Pinky.” Noticing that the concern had melted from her friend’s face she continued. “Now what can i do for you?”

“Nothin.” Pink hooves carried the mare as she bounced around the lab, looking at each different experiment and casually reading the notes scrawled next to them.

Twilight merely rolled her eyes. After all these years the usually enigmatic Pinky was an open book to her. The fact that she wouldn't make eye contact for more than a second or try to further the conversation was a dead giveaway that she wasn't telling the whole truth. Rather than beat around the bush the alicorn merely gripped the smaller pony in her magic and brought them face to face.

“It's okay Pinky you can tell me.” For a second a frown crossed the pink mare’s face.

“No really it's-” One look into her friend’s eyes made her sigh in defeat. “Okay but you gotta promise not to tell anypony.”

Twilight recited the pinky promise and stood expectantly in front of the strangely nervous mare.

“Well i saw Rarity and her husband at the market. They were so cute together i couldn't help but feel a little lonely so i went to go see R.D but she was busy with Fluttershy and Applejack who were all having a spa date together. They did say i could join but i could tell they wanted to be alone with each other. So than i was feeling super duper lonely so i was kinda sorta hoping we could spend the day together.” The torrent of emotions that rolled across her face ended in a smile of anticipation.

“Errr well Pinky i have to meet with a museum advisory council.” A look over at the clock revealed they would have to catch the next train out as her experiment had indeed eaten up far too much time. The pink party pony’s hair threatened to collapse once more. “But that won't take long and i'm sure at the bare minimum we can have a fun train ride together.”

“Yippee!” Twilight almost regretted her action the instant Pinky tried to crush her in another bear hug. This time she was ready and quickly escaped Pinky's death hug.

Between the meetings with the museum ponies, the three grand openings she got roped into officiating and a stop at that neat little ancient books store she had found a few months prior. She wasn't sure how much time she could allot to her friend. No wait, she knew exactly how much time she could allot. Three whole hours provided they had their meals together. Still… The party pony had taken to bouncing around displaying those deceptively long shapely legs. Nevermind that gorgeous flank that bounced and shook like twin bowls of jelly. She felt the same funny feeling as the same time she convinced Zecora to hypnotize her. Shaking her head suddenly she stopped Pinky with a hoof.

“But we won't have a lot of time together. Other than a few hours after we arrive. I was hoping to use that time to wander around the city and check out a few shops but we could always do something else instead.”

Pinky instantly became lost in thought, sitting down suddenly and placing a hoof to her chin. The idea to cast a telepathy spell on her briefly passed through Twilight’s mind before being dispelled. That is one invasion of privacy that she refused to cross. Deciding to instead brush up on the lessons from “Poker for eggheads”. The frown that briefly flickered over the pink mare’s face was quickly replaced by one of unbridled joy. But only for a second before another frown crossed over. She is definitely thinking of what to do.  Pinky was a terrible poker player despite a seemingly supernatural good luck. She wore her heart on her sleeve and was the frequent loser (behind fluttershy of course.) at their monthly poker games.

"Where are we going anyway?"

Twilight face hoofed, she had totally forgot to include that part. "Manehatten."

Pinky's face displayed unbridled terror for about 0.3 seconds before it was replaced by a wide fake smile. The shift was so jarring Twilight ignored it, clearly it was a trick of the light or something. Why would Pinky be scared of that city? She had just been there not too long ago with Maud and Rarity.

“I got it!” Pulling a map of manhattan from her hair she placed a hoof on the train station. The moment of terror forgotten instantly as she set into planning mode. “Since we get off here.” Pinky locked eyes with the other mare and did a silly eyebrow wiggle before returning to the map. Twilight was unsure of what just happened before the meaning caught up to her and a giggle escaped her lips. “We can check out any shops or whatever you want from there, to there and than we can have a nice lunch in the park!”

Already a plan was forming in the alicorn’s mind. A few shops she HAD to see where along that path. And that park was relatively small and out of the way, it might just be romantic. “Sounds like a plan Pinks!”

Pinky gasped and threw her hooves around Twilight’s neck. “Do you know what this means?!”

Twilight merely rolled her eyes. “No.”

“I got my first pet name! Now i need to come up of one for you! Twily? No that's shining’s thing. Sparkles? Hmm that could work.” Twilight tuned her out as she rattled off a litany of other mostly embarrassing pet names and instead went about cleaning up the lab to make ready for their trip.

“We're here!” Cried a sing songy voice.

The two mares exited the bustling train station quickly, at the insistence of a certain nervous alicorn. Something about all those ponies bowing and slowing everypony down irked her. It wasn't even the bowing part, she had gotten used to being treated like royalty years ago. The fact they were bowing right in the middle of the train station and slowing down the lines irked the princess of friendship far more than she would ever let on. It was just so so… Inefficient.

Pinky just smiled and let herself be pushed out of the crowd, making a faint whee sound as she was shoved by Twilights abnormally soft hooves. Hmmm why were they so soft anyway? Had she been using hoof cream that Rarity always went on about? Had she put it on special for her? Nah that couldn't be it. As her train of thought left the station (hehe) she noticed Twilight had stopped shoving her out of the throng of ponies.

“So where to first?” The alicorn asked between labored breaths.

Suddenly her pink friend took a massive breath only to open her mouth in a wordless scream. Than before Twilight had time to even process the bizarre reactions she stuffed a hoof in her mouth, than one in her own mouth. Her eyes were wide and it seemed like a million thoughts were racing behind those blue eyes.

Those same blue eyes stared intently into the throng of ponies, seemingly tracked someone and ducking behind Twilight as if she was dodging something.

Rolling her eyes Twilight tried to talk only to be shushed instantly. Deciding not to fight the pink she just stood there and tried to remember the route they had planned to take while Pinky collected herself from… Whatever this was.

Apparently having a firm hold on her marbles once more Pinky looked away from the throng of bustling ponies. Twilight met her gaze with a mix of confusion and concern. She raised an eyebrow when her partner in crime did not elaborate on her strange break of character. “Pinky is-”

A pink hoof jammed back into Twilight’s mouth however this time she was ready and quickly nipped the hoof between her teeth. Recoiling instantly Pinky blew a raspberry at the apparently quite hungry alicorn. A giggle threatened to spill out at the silly display until she met Twilight’s eyes with her own. She could see the concern on her friend (and hopefully future mare friend's) face. Quickly stifling the laugh and replacing it with an excuse. “I just thought for a sec i left gummy alone. But then i remembered Fluttershy said she'd take care of him.”

Some seventh sense pinged the alicorns mind telling her that wasn't the whole story. But when Pinky didn't budge when she gave her the sternest look she could muster she let it slide. Even if that wasn't the whole story it was all she was willing to tell and she respected that.

“Now come on let's get moving molasses pants!”

“I'm not wearing pa-ah!” Pinkie's hooves rested firmly against her butt. Than with a might push she found herself stumbling forward. The feeling of Pinkie's hooves so close to her sensitive rejoin made an odd warmth fill her. All the while half stumbling through the mid afternoon crowd. Which reluctantly parted either out of respect for the fact that she was a princess or the determined look that had overtaken Pinky PIe. She wasn't sure which one commanded more respect now that she thought about it.

“Time to go Twilight!”

“Wait what?”

Before Twilight could even thank the shop owner she found herself being unceremoniously dragged out the door by her tail. She couldn't even tell her friend to stop until she found herself outside the shop on the bustling sidewalk. Gritting her teeth in anger the alicorn gripped Pinky completely in her magic. Eliciting a giggle.

“That tickles!” Her giggling died the instant she was turned to face an irate princess.

“Pinky, why did you drag me out of that shop? That was a MAGICAL PARTY store! I thought i'd have to drag you out!” Although her tone was one of anger, a strong undercurrent of concern edged her voice.

“Well you got what we wanted so we might as well leave, right?” The earth pony’s eyes shot around the street as if a manticore might leap out of the positively packed road.

Some ponies stopped and gawked at the bizarre spectacle of the princess and pink pony most just kept walking. As if the sight of angry alicorn were an everyday occurrence for them. One particular pony wearing a blue uniform stopped and stared, ignoring the princess entirely. Focusing all her attention on the Pink pony being held up by the purple aura of magic. She did a double take that made Pinky’s heart leap into her throat.

Panic overtook the pink mare, a tremble become a tremor than a quake. Soon her whole body vibrated until she slid out of the magical field holding her. Twilight just looked at her in utter confusion, head cocked to the side as if the new perspective might help her understand her pink friend. Before her analytical mind had time to start running in circles trying to figure out what just happened Pinky slipped underneath her and carried her into the cafe beside the magical party store.

Several patrons narrowly dodged the Pink pony and her alicorn cargo. Clutching drinks and food as the lightning fast party pony and her princess backpack leaped up and down and around. Landing firmly in the singular booth at the far side of the store. Twilight’s butt met the velvety comfort of the pillow before her thoughts had time to catch up. A tsunami of anger threatened to ignite her mane but the pony she saw lying beside her made the emotion vanish in an instant.

There laying deflated on the cushions of the booth lied a very different pony than the one she had spent the afternoon trouncing around manhattan with. Her head lay on the table with her forelegs wrapped around, gripping it tightly. Her hair lay deflated to her side draped across the table. Her eyes welled with tears and a sob escaped her lips.

“Oh Pinky.” The concern in her voice threatened to unleash the floodgates behind the pink mare’s eyes. Something held her back though, something she knew needed to be said.

“Twilight i have something to confess, well two things. One, i love you.” Then as if that wasn't shocking enough already. “Also i'm wanted by the police here and that's why i was running around ruining our not date but sorta date day.” This news would have brought on a stampede of various emotions however pinky spat the entire sentence in a bout half a second.

As such Twilight's brain took three long seconds of calculation before her face went from a look of stunned confusion to a mix of anger and concern. “You WHAT?”

The other patrons looked at the bizarre pair for several seconds before going back to what they were doing. Outside she could hear the hustle and bustle of ponies slow as the door to the shop opened with a faint tinkle.

"You mean the I love you part or the whole police part?" She smiled sheepishly.

“The police part!” Outlandish ideas of her committing fraud all the way to murder ran through Twilight's mind before being squashed beneath the cold hoof of logic. She had to figure this out and panic wouldn't help.

“It's nothing suuuuuper bad. Just ya know. Littering, and running from the police.” The last part coming out as a squeak that would have put fluttershy to shame.

Luckily Twilight’s brain was running at about a hundred thoughts per second, meaning she already had time to panic and come up with a plan. Taking a deep unsteady breath she leaned down and gently picked up Pinky’s head in her hoof. Looking into her eyes with every ounce of concern she could muster. “Alright Pinks this is what we gotta do-”

“Stop right there Pinkamena Diane Pie!”  Shouted a badge being shoved into her face by an annoyed looking grey mottled earth pony wearing a police officer’s cap.

Pinky shrunk into the booth so much she nearly slipped beneath the pillows like some sort of pony putty.

“You are hereby under arrest for three hundred and seventy three counts of littering!”

The officer almost managed to continue before Twilight blurted out. “THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY COUNTS OF LITTERING?”

The party pony desperately wished to become a party mole and tunnel through the pillows and out of this cafe. In a teeny tiny voice fit for a mole she squeaked. “And three.”

Twilight’s mane and tail looked about ready to ignite but once again her desire to know more overruled her anger. Turning to the stunned police mare who was only now gathering her wits from the sudden use of the royal canterlot voice. “How did this happen?”

Bowing curtly the police mare began. “Well you see princess this Litterbug has been firing off confetti all over our fair city for years. Up until a few months ago we couldn't find out who or what was leaving the colored paper everywhere. Until we reviewed security footage from the stores around town that sold confetti. At such point we were able to determine the identity of the criminal and put up posters all over town. However they mysteriously vanished.”

Pinky coughed into her hoof and shifted closer to Twilight.

“The local magistrate has decided that such an unrepentant criminal will be punished to the full extent of the law.” The police mare leaned across the table and jabbed an accusatory hoof in Pinkie's face. “Which means 1 year jail time and 400 hours of community service to be carried out working for the city cleaning administration.”

The princess and the baker both gasped in horror. “Just for littering?” They both asked in unison.

The police mare nodded her head grimly. “Several hundred counts and her unrepentant nature that displays no guilt for the crimes committed are what convinced the magistrate.”

Twilight fell back into the booth in defeat. She could understand the confetti part but Pinky always used biodegradable paper enchanted by her. She turned to the criminal in question who had scootched close enough to wrap her body around Twilight's right foreleg.

“Pinky didn't you use the confetti i chanted for you?” The officer across the table cocked a curious eye. Rolling her own eyes in exasperation Twilight explained. “I enchant a massive pile of confetti every month so that they are biodegradable and are moderately useful as low grade fertilizer to avoid an event like this.” Casting an accusatory glance to the squirming Pink mare wrapped tightly about her leg. “Or so i thought.”

For once in recent memory the motor mouth was at a loss for words. “I well- you see- I uh.” Twilight bonked her head with her free hoof resetting Pinky’s rambling train of thought. “Thanks Twilight. Maud gave me a giant bag of confetti and i was so excited to use her gift that i didn't think about it. I had gotten so used to your special enchanted kind that i didn't even think that this confetti wouldn't disappear.” Giving a strained smile to the curious police mare. “I really am sorry i was just… scared.”

“Well that may be but i'm afraid the law is the law.” Her jaw set firm she adjusted the badge on her chest and drew a pair of handcuffs from seemingly nowhere. “I'm afraid you're coming with me miss Pie.”

Pinky sighed and placed her fore hooves on the table, her head down in silence as the officer began to recount her rights. “Wait!” Both arrestor and arrestee looked over to the Princess curiously.

“I excuse her for her crimes by royal decree.” Sittin tall while trying to recount the lessons Celestia had given her over the years she used her best princessly voice. “The crown dismisses all charges of littering against miss Pie.”

The grey pony cocked her hat and took on a strange grin of determination. “So you are saying littering is now legal?”

“I well, no of course not. Bu-”

“Because that's what your saying. By dismissing charges you have expressly allowed the breaking of the law which incidentally allows the now not a crime of littering.”

Twilight bit her tongue. “Well of course not but i am well within my legal right as a princess of equestria to.”

Cutting her off again the grey pony continued. “853 after discord Celestia versus the state.”

With rapt attention from the Princess and the baker the police mare continued.. “Celestia wanting to excuse her then friend, confidant and baker allowed a herd to be formed when it was previously illegal. Annulling the law in the eyes of the state.”

Sighing in defeat Twilight’s head drooped. She was right, it's not like she could just allow everypony to litter as much as they want. If they just put it back into law than Pinky would just be tried again. The mare in question was looking up at her with a glimmer of hope that she refused to quash completely. Something struck her as odd at that moment. She had read that in the restricted archives. It was clearly an event that Celestia had hoped nopony remembered and as such had them hidden behind a wall of red tape and bureaucracy.

“What is your name officer?”

Smirking in victory the officer stood sideways in front of the Princess displaying her cutie mark. Drawing a gasp of surprise from the princess was a yellow scroll bound by a purple ribbon emblazoned by a gold seal. “Officer Golden Seal of the Manhattan special law division at your service Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh poop.”

A pink hoof to the ribs brought her out of a spiral of defeat. “Why poop?”

Twilight’s eyes were rimmed with sadness as she gazed down at her pink partner. “Yellow parchment was only used in ancient times to record things of great importance. The purple ribbon was used only for cases involving the crown while the gold seal was Celestia’s personal mark. Meaning we have an officer who is both an expert in ancient law and princessly jurisdiction.”

Golden Seal smiled a little too wide. Her special talent had finally become useful! After all these years of mockery and being placed on litter patrol she would finally bust the case of the pink menace! “Thats right princess so don't even try and weasel your little marefriend out of the way of justice!"

The mention of marefriend did two things to Twilight. One, it brought on an enormous blush that seemed to spread to the aforementioned marefriend. Two, it gave her a great idea. She couldn't claim they were married, such things had a paper trail she couldn't prove and marrying now would not help matters. There was one thing she could do that had no paper trail and no way to disapprove but… She put a hoof out to stop the over eager officer from slapping a pair of cuffs on her friend.

“Pinky do you trust me?”

“Of course Twilight, with my very heart.”

Twilight fought past the hitch in her throat and too quiet to hear muttered. “She's my concubine.”

Pinky’s blush spread to her entire head and threatened to make it pop right off. The officer jammed a hoof in one of her ears, digging out invisible gunk.

“Say what princess?”

“She's my concubine.” Gaining confidence as her plan unfolded. “As such any minor offences can at most be punished with a fine. As imprisonment would be considered theft from the crown's personal property.”

The cafe grew suddenly deathly silent as the ponies in the booth suddenly realized everypony else was listening in on their previously private conversation. Twilight’s blush shone through her fur like a beacon while Pinky held onto her with all four hooves. Her hair having returned to it's natural state. Her lips pressed rapidly against Twilight's leg and neck while she whispered thanks over and over.

It was all too much for the bookish Princess, no amount of celestia’s training could prepare her for this. Thinking quickly she cast a calm spell on herself, then again. Then one last time to dispel the faint traces of panic that still lingered within her mind.

Golden Seal however remained startlingly calm, her face tilted slightly in a smile. Only her eyes gave off a slight glow of annoyance and trepidation. “Is this true Miss Pie?”

Both the officer and the princess looked down at the uncharacteristically sheepish party pony. The officer's glare made her stumble on her words, instinctively she looked up at Twilight. Her eyes seemed… Guilty. Instantly she knew what she had to answer both the spoken and unspoken question. Leaping up and wrapping her hooves around Twilight’s neck she kissed her suddenly.

The kiss was awkward and clumsy neither really prepared for the impromptu moment of passion. Before either of them knew it the looks of the strangers in the cafe melted away. What started as awkward took on a frenzied intensity neither mare could prepare for. Their eyes locked into each other, a shared sense of longing echoing across the gaze they held. Twilight felt something press against her lips, Pinky’s eyes held a more intense moment of longing to which she yielded to reluctantly.

The instant their tongues met her reluctance washed away. Fireworks exploding and cascading across her stressed and panic strewn mind. It was as if Pinky reached a hoof into her brain and wiped away the cobwebs and flickering lights that signalled a still persistent sense of panic. Her hooves slipped up her partner’s back.

Suddenly the world tilted forward. For Pinky it fell back into an ocean of pleasure. Their odd height difference toppling them into the booth with Twilight firmly on top of her concubine. Who was all too happy to be under her with their kiss unbroken. Normally a twinge of stress would have flown through Twilight’s mind however she found the familiar feeling could not even wedge its way into the cascade of new sensations.

She felt confident,  calm and altogether excited at the same time. Pinky was an enigma that made stress free and conviction follow. When the kiss broke Pinky pulled her princess in close to whisper in her ear. “I'm yours .” Small lines of stress only she could see on her princess's’ face slackened. The guilt dismissed Pinky kissed up and down her neck in the most ticklish spots she could find.

A now very giggly Twilight found a weight had settled against Pinky’s waist. Redoubling her personal privacy spell she looked down to see if her partner had noticed. A knowing smile and a seductive grin somehow held at the same time told her she knew everything.

The sound of a coughing pony and the all encompassing silence reminded the pair of the watchers making them jump back into a sitting position.

“Ahem yes, that is correct.” Pinky announced quite matter of factly, using a manner of speech close to the royal canterlot style Twilight used moments ago. “Princess Twilight Sparkle is my mistress.”

The word mistress sent a shiver of excitement down Twilight's spine, drawing a cheeky smile to Pinky's lips.

“Well than, i suppose you have officially had her take her vows and…” The officer leaned uncomfortably close to the alicorn’s ear. “Broken her in.” Taking a step back quickly. “Correct?”

The odd question at the end sent her mind reeling and unable to comprehend fully the first question. “Well no.” She would have face hooved but Pinky did it for her. “But she still is my concubine even if we have not gotten around to her vows yet.” The law may be clear but they were still skating on thin ice with her inadvertently admitting to not doing the ritual yet.

“As a representative of the crown and a marriage officiant i can do this little ceremony for you. Right here perhaps?” The princess and the party pony looked at eachother in confusion, both trying to come up with excuses ranging from just teleporting away in embarrassment to a plan that involved far too much arson. “Unless you are just using this as a legal loophole to escape justice."

Both planners shot bolt upright in their seat. “Of course not.” They both said. “Stop that.” They said together. “Jinx!” They intoned perfectly. Twilight rolled her eyes in defeat clearly Pinky was rubbing off on her. She glanced down at the pink pony who was literally rubbing up against her as if she had read her mind.

“Yes we may do that, however i demand privacy.” The three ponies looked up from the table to the lines of gawking ponies that had gathered in every nook and cranny of the cafe. Peeking over both sides of the booth and crowded within inches behind Golden Seal. A cough resounded through the painfully quiet cafe signalling an exodus of ponies. All of whom were silently reminded that one of the ponies they were eavesdropping on was a princess.

“Show's over folks out ya go.” The police pony waved her badge at the few stubborn patrons still gawking at the juiciest bit of gossip to grace their ears in years. More than one of them running off to talk to whatever the closest news outlet was in hopes of getting something for their scoop.

At the sight of a rather notorious cutie mark depicting a heart being jabbed by a quill Twilight’s heart fell. Any hope she had at containing the situation or perhaps bribing the newspapers was lost in that instant. She thought about grabbing the flaming red pony with the yellow hair and doing… Something to her. But she would never act on those impulses, probably.

That point of contention was relieved somewhat by the sight of Golden Seal arguing quite loudly with the store owner who just had his customers driven out. A sharp jab to her side drew her attention to the sight of her concubine snuggled up securely against her side. All four hooves wrapped around one of her own. A reluctant smile found it's way to her lips.

“Thank you Twilight from saving me, i know what i did was wrong but. It was like there were a thousand parasprites in my tummy every time i thought about confessing. In the end it all ended up a giant mess and ruined our date day.” Her head pressed against her shoulder, their eyes unable to meet. In a much smaller voice so unlike the verbose earth pony. “Could you ever forgive me?”

The argument in the background began to heat up and a few choice curses were thrown. However they didn't even register to the concubine and mistress sat huddled in their own private world.

“I am the one who should apologize to you. I should have ran past the whole ah… concubine thing before saying it. I was just so excited to have realized a way out of your prison sentence that i just sort of ran with it. I was actually hoping you would be my... well.” Somehow asking her out was harder than telling her she was her concubine. The thought only added to her confusion so she squashed it and forced herself to look down at her concubine. “My marefriend.”

“Of course i will be your concubine/marefriend. I kind of wished you had asked that last part first though.” Before the thoughts of guilt could swirl around her mistress/mare friend's head she added. “But i don't mind either.” In a tone barely above a whisper. “My mistress.”

Something hard thumped against the underside of the table drawing a giggle from the earth pony and a groan of pain from the alicorn. Who quickly lurched down and reworked her privacy spell yet again. A pink hoof gently rubbed against her aching length, doing nothing to dispel the growing erection. Shooting Pinky a harsh glare made her recoil her hoof but ultimately did little to diminish her growing stallionhood as Pinky added coyly.

“If mistress wants me to stop i will.”

Interrupting Pinky’s teasing a voice rose suddenly from the other side of the shop.

A much more annoyed Golden Seal trotted back up to the table. Doing her best to hide her disgust when the smell of arousal assaulted her now upturned nose. “We have 10 minutes to hear your vows. Than and only than will i be satisfied that this is legitimate. At such point i will go back and begin the ugh, paperwork to have your crimes converted into a fine.” It took only a glance at the two ponies who would much rather be elsewhere doing somepony else entirely to know that her words were falling on mostly deaf ears. “Do you know the vows Miss PIe?”

To everypony’s surprise she announced. “I do.”

Wasting no time she turned to her mistress and took her hoof in two of her own. “I do solemnly swear to do everything and anything that my mistress may command. To serve her unconditionally in any capacity that i am capable of. Up to and including any and all sexual desires or bearing her foals. I vow this on my honor and before the sun and moon. Now and forever.”

The weight of those vows weighed heavily upon the  alicorn’s heart and within her mind she made her own vow. I vow to make sure you never regret this moment. It may have been just to get out of the jail time that would have robbed the alicorn of her bubbly marefriend. But this little debacle was incredibly hot. The alicorn admitted reluctantly as she reinforced the privacy spell failing under her enormous length.

Pinky’s eyes met hers sharing a long moment of desire that almost undid all the reinforcing she had done to the spell. She was just as turned on as Twilight, maybe even more. Twilight made a mental note of Pinky’s exhibitionist streak for later... consideration. She could not deny that it was bizarrely sexy but they couldn't do something like that in public. She was a princess after all.

Suddenly Pink flesh pushed against her own. Words unspoken passed between them as her lips came tentatively close to her own.

“What do you say in return Mistress Sparkle.” Hissed golden seal. Her embarrassment clear across her face. Due in no small part to the pair who were basically eye fucking across the table from her.

“Ahem yes.” It took a moment for Twilight to recall the text in her mind and another to stop blushing and stammering long enough to say it. “I accept this mare into my service. With this gift i bind her to me.”

The traditional gift she recalled was a ring, or necklace that was a symbol of her position. Twilight hadn't really practiced the necessary spells to construct a minor object out of thin air. But if there was ever a time to wing it was now. She laughed at her own wing joke before summoning a river of magic into her horn. The spell was complicated and would take time unless she found a shortcut. She had all the necessary leg work done and fresh in her mind when she had made Fluttershy a collar for a few stray dogs she had recently taken in. Yes that would work perfectly. The river become a torrent that made the alicorn grunt in effort. Adding several last second touches to make it slightly more worthy of the gorgeous mare she was about to bestow it upon.

If she hadn't closed her eyes in concentration she would have seen all the prying eyes of the ponies pressed against the glass. As they all turned to her and stare in awe as a swirling mass of magic slowly formed into a circular object that looked a lot like a dog collar. As a fresh wave of magic crashed upon it they flew back from the window. Shielding their now very dazed eyes. Stars danced in their vision as a squeal of delight unlike any of them had heard before peeled forth from the shop.

When they were finally were able to look back inside they saw a pink blur bounce around the room like a pinball. A purple hoof shot out and caught the bouncing mare before she could bounce off the roof again. Suddenly they were in a heap with the pink one pressing numerous kisses all over the larger mare. More than one of the gawkers thought she was being assaulted by rapid fire kisses being planted all over her head and neck.

It took a strong grey mottled hoof to pry them apart. The pink one looked disappointed and sat anxiously down again. A minute later a rather stunned looking princess was able to lift herself up. She could not pry the stupid grin off her face though. Her eyes glazed staring off into space. The pink one poked her in the ribs to get her attention back to the grey mare who pressed some paperwork in front of them. Which made the pink pony frown for a second while the other one’s face seemed to light up slightly.

The pink pony affixed a wide black leather band around her neck. In the center of the band were little purple and pink jewels set at regular intervals. On the front was a golden plague held to the leather by a pink and purple gem on each side. Although nopony outside could see it the words emblazoned on the plague were. "PxT" with a heart around it and an arrow through it. It was the exact kind of silly thing two lovers carved on some poor unfortunate tree. Exactly the type of thing both mares found immensely romantic.

Purple magic gripped a pen and began to work at the mountain of paper. The pink one was nowhere to be seen. Frantic eyes scanned the room, not wanting to miss a second of the action. Purple magic faltered and nearly collapsed as a bizarre look of shock and pleasure crossed the alicorn’s face. This only made the police mare roll her eyes in a tired and annoyed fashion. As the paperwork seemed to drone on the magic around the pen seemed to glow brighter and brighter. As if the caster was having more and more trouble holding it as their concentration waned. Forcing more magic into the spell to compensate for their lack of grace.

As the last few papers were being double checked her magic flared brightly for a moment. Thankfully the gawkers had grown used to it by now and were only partially blinded. The caster’s eyes rolled back in her head for a moment as her tongue fell from her mouth. Her entire lower half of her body concealed by the table cloth seemed to jerk slightly. Her hooves braced against the table shook slightly. A full minute later when the last shaking finally faded away her hooves returned to the task of finishing the paperwork.

A few seconds later a very satisfied pink face crawled out from under the table, wiping a stray blob of something from her lips and slurping it down audibly. The police mare looked tired, her smile of victory had long since faded into a grimace of annoyance. However one rather insightful gawker saw the grin she tried to hide. The way she tried to keep her legs tight together and her tail placed firmly over the gap between her back legs. She had a secret that an astute blue pony was determined to find.

The blue gawker was the odd pony out, solely focusing on the police mare as she tried and failed to finish the last of the paperwork. Her hips were wide and swayed despite the taut mass of muscle that she tried to actively use to stop her swaying hips. She could not hide that gorgeous flank no matter how many exercises she did. A long line of mare’s with child bearing hips had damned her to a gorgeous body that had drawn stares since the moment she went through puberty.

A blue hoof slowly knocked on the window next to the lecherous old shopkeeper positioned near the door. A silent conversation later the stallion and the mare exchanged wolfish grins and a few bits.

The little exchange by the door went unnoticed by the three ponies signing the last of the paperwork. With a resounding sigh Golden Seal stamped the last peice of paper and tucked it away.

“Well this has been.” She looked from Miss Pie who was currently kissing Miss Sparkle’s neck while her hooves traced all over her mistress’ body. To the Mistress in question who was trying and failing to hide just how turned on she was. “Interesting, to say the least. Now if you will excuse me.” She tipped her hat and turned around. Glad to be away from the steaming pot of pheromones that threatened to drive her into a deeper rut than those two were already in.

When she turned around she heard the pair topple over into a pile of muted kissing sounds and gentle moans. She rolled her eyes and pushed her hat low over her eyes. Focusing on the veritable mountain of ponies with their faces pressed against the glass. Frustration built until it felt like it would explode only for it to disappear. It's not my problem. She felt her attention drifting to the warmth coming from between her back legs. That is.

She vowed that when she got home she would finally try out that toy she had bought three months ago and never had the courage to use. Pushing her way through the crowd of ponies and out of the store the police mare disappeared along with all semblance of order.

Or at least it would have if not for a brown elderly unicorn mare holding the door with her magic. Through the crack she shouted at the crowd. “Ten bits per pony cover charge! Bits up front.”

A few rose their voices in objection but were quickly silenced by a glare. Grumbling quietly the gawkers formed a line and forked over their hard earned bits for a chance to see the newest princess and her newest concubine. A wave of arousal crashed through open door. Emanating in heated waves by the very turned on ponies. Helped in no small part due to the adult bookstore across the street catching word of the latest scandal to break.

Inside the two subjects of said scandal were oblivious to everypony else. Retreating completely into the embrace of the other. Forgetting completely of any and all previous engagements they may have made with museum curator or the five other soon to be disappointed ponies.