here
Rainbow Dash tossed and turned herself in her bed throughout the night, it was hot and humid - Which only added to her current stress.
She buried her head into her pillow - A small cloud - Letting out a small whimper as she bit her lip, her eyes darted around underneath her eye-lids as she tried in vain to sleep, to clear her mind of all the stress and tension, to suppress the lie she was living.
Around her friends, when she had to tell her white lie in order to try and keep her good image but the more she lied, the worse she felt... It built itself up inside her and she was going to blow soon enough.
She soon realized it was pretty much impossible for her to sleep, she had too much on her mind - She set a date that she was going to try and talk it out with somepony, she had to do it tomorrow, or rather later today; or she never would.
She got out of bed and hit her head with her hoof a few times to try and wake herself up, it was late, she looked over to her cock
“It’s one in the morning!?” Her voice squeaked softly throughout her sentence, echoing slightly in her room.
She slowly trotted to the door and pushed it open, her lips and mouth was dry, making her cough softly, she walked to the door and opened it - Trotting outside and looking around
The air was mild but breezey, making her mane and tail blow softly behind her.
She trotted to the nearest bar, having to stop multiple times on the short journey to catch her breath or cool down a little bit, she was anxious.
As she stepped inside the bar, there was still quite a few ponies enjoying a drink and having a laugh, most of whom were drunk out of their mind.
Rainbow Dash had a plan to drink back her anxiety and depression, maybe it’d make coming out a bit easier later, or it’d make the situation worse, there was only one way to find out.
She walked up to the bar and climbed atop the stool, sitting down - The cushion was rather soft, which made Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief - As the barpony came over to her, he noticed her expression and features, she looked battered.
“You’re not in the best of moods, eh?” He chuckled, Rainbow Dash took a moment to respond, she just shook her head as she looked at herself in the reflection of the different alcohol glasses on the shelves.
“Hm?” She turned her head to the barpony and sighed “Sorry, I’m just… Not in a good place right now… Can I have a cider please?”
Rainbow Dash was fully aware that the only cider sold there was the Apple family’s, but none-the-less she ordered it, she loved the drink but didn’t order it around any of her friends to make her seem suspicious, she had an addiction to the stuff - Especially the logo printed on the front of the glass.
The logo depicted Applejack winking with an apple in her hoof, she looked stunning in Rainbow Dash’s eyes.
The Barpony nodded, a cheesey grin spread across his face as he turned around and walked away, Rainbow Dash coughed softly and looked around, her eyes meeting with a few strangers but she broke it off quickly.
She was taken by surprise when there was a sliding noise across the bar, she looked back in time to see the Barpony had slidden it toward her, chuckling softly - He was a playful type.
Rainbow Dash began to dig her hoof around in the pockets she (somehow) had in her fur, bringing out a hoofful of bits “How much?” She sighed softly, burying her head in her other hoof
The Barpony waved his hoof “Don’t worry” He said cheerfully, before pulling up a stool and sitting infront of her, he knew he wasn’t supposed to during his shift - But there was no sign of anypony coming up yet.
He tilted his head to look at Rainbow Dash, who seemed rather reluctant to look him in the eyes, she couldn’t, she wouldn’t.
“Heyyy, what’s wrong? Ya know I’m here to talk, don’t’cha?” the Barpony smiles at Rainbow Dash, who just blushed softly and ducks her head, her eyes beginning to water a little, she looked to the barpony
“Can I please just… Have some time alone?” She whimpers, her voice cracking to the point she sounded like she was going to flood the bar with tears, The barpony smiled and got up, trotting away and looking around the bar.
Rainbow Dash stuffed her currency back into her pocket -
-and sighed, biting onto the lid of the glass and twisting it, pulling the lid off cautiously and placing it onto the bar, she picked up her cider and brought it to her mouth, taking a small sip before setting it back down onto the bar, making sure the logo was facing her.
She sat there for a moment, adoring and idolizing the orange pony plastered on the bottle, Sure, Rainbow Dash ACTED brave and courageous like Applejack, but inside she was as insecure as you could get.
She continued her routine of taking small sips, savoring the flavor and sighing softly, contemplating about life and all her problems - How they could all be taken away in one very quick and simple maneuver, but she could never bring herself to do that for many reasons.
She adored every one of her friends ;
Twilight Sparkle because she was smart
Applejack because she was truthful and courageous
Fluttershy because she was caring and gentle
Rarity because she doesn’t take no for an answer
And Pinkie Pie because she wasn’t really afraid to say anything, and she can always turn a dark situation into something humorous and fun.
Rainbow Dash was unable to do any of these things, which was why she felt special that her friends chose her.
She finished off her cider and let out a content sigh, calling the barpony over and ordering another cider, she placed the empty glass to the side of the bar - No sign of the barpony
“Hello!?” She called out, very impatent - The Barpony rushed around the corner to her, an anxious grin on his face
“I-I’m so sorry!” He ran his hoof over his forehead, wiping off a bead of sweat - His breathing was heavy, he tried to smile “Would you like another cider?” Rainbow Dash nodded with a blank expression she wasn’t amused
He sped off once more, returning a moment later with another cider, this time the lid was already off and it had a straw in it, which Rainbow Dash thought was rather cute in a way, the straw was mainly white with 4 blue stripes, one going down each side.
Rainbow Dash softly wrapped her lips around the straw and softly sucked on the straw, the cider slowly running up the straw and into her mouth, she took it slowly to savor the flavor even more.
Rainbow Dash blushed and looked down to the logo on the glass before slowly shutting her eyes, fascinating over her and Applejack.
“It’s never gonna happen…” She whimpered as she plucked the straw from her mouth, she began to draw softly on the bar with the tip of her hoof, leaving a small trail behind.
She hid the cider inbetween her legs and called the barpony once more
“Back again?” He chuckled as he trotted over slowly, this time he wasn’t in a rush.
“You drunk that fast…” He smiled, looking at the glass that was already on the desk “Didn’t want the straw I see…” He said in a soft, condescending tone
Rainbow Dash giggled softly under her breath and flushed red “Sorry…” She ducked her head between her shoulders as she smiled awkwardly to the bar tender.
He just chuckled and walked away, fetching her third and final cider - Rainbow Dash ducked her head between her legs and sucked on the straw slowly, her eyes darting around the small gaps underneath her arms to make sure no one was looking, she could hear the soft trotting of hooves coming toward her so she shot her head up again, almost hitting her nose on the edge of the bar when she did so.
The barpony chuckled softly to himself “I didn’t mean to frighten ‘ya” He muttered as he looked at the expression on Rainbow Dash’s face, Rainbow Dash tried to play it off and dug around in her pocket, pulling out 15 bits and placing them on the table
“I-It’s fine, thanks for everything…” She grumbled, her voice showing a clearly agitated tone.
She picked up her cider, this time without a straw, and stood up, making sure to hide the one currently sitting on the stool and plastered a fake smile on her face - She knew the bar allowed you to take drinks, as they all came in glass bottles they were shipped in.
She discreetly grabbed the cider on the stool as the barpony walked away, before walking out with two in her hoof, she got a questionable look from a few ponies sitting around but she thought nothing of it.
She walked home, on the way downing the half-empty cider with the straw on it and admiring the orange pony plastered on the bottle, god what she would give to kiss her.
She turned the bottle in the moon-light to get a better view of her, standing there for a few minutes just admiring and fantasizing, before realizing she had to get home.
She nibbled on the tip of the straw and placed it in the new bottle, placing the empty bottle out of harms way and continuing home.
On the way she was considering things, thinking about her friends and how they might react to her confession.
In a way, she had a crush on all of her friends - They made up for everything she thought that she wasn’t - From first glance it might be visible to somepony, her obsession with her friends, but how would she consult them?
She stumbled slightly on her way back as she continued to drink her cider, drinking it faster than before.
She moaned softly as she sucked on the straw before falling back onto her arse, looking up to the sky and sighing softly, she spread her wings softly as she looked into the sky, her eyes slowly and softly shut as she sat there and relaxed, humming softly onto the straw and causing the cider to bubble softly.
She dropped her cider by the side of her and pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and rocking softly as she looked into the sky, what was so great about her? What was it about her that her friends liked?
Rainbow Dash shook her head and separated her arms from her legs, picking up her cider and standing on all hooves, beginning to walk again - She wasn’t too far so it only took her a few minutes, as she got to her door she opened the bottom compartment and stumbled in, looking around the room, it appeared to shake to her - She was drunk, drunk with depression.
Rainbow Dash’s legs gave way, she collapsed and everything went black - She was unconscious.
During her unconscious state she began to whimper softly, having a nightmare of her friends separating from her, the five stood in the centre with agonized, angry expressions aimed at Rainbow Dash, who stood away, her head hung low to the dirt, her lower jaw looked like it was about to give way, her breathing increased before she dropped to the dirt, crying.
The other five didn’t seem to care, they just walked away in a line talking to each other as if they didn’t just destroy somepony’s self esteem, or their life as a whole - What could have caused this?
Rainbow Dash immediately shot up from her unconscious state, her head darting around the room before looking to the door, she whimpered softly, her breathing was unstable as water formed around her eye, a tear eased it’s way out and rolled down her cheek.
She looked away and shook her head, wiping her tear away with her hoof
“I-I’ve got to tell them…” She cried softly to herself, collapsing onto the floor, Rainbow Dash raised her head and looked at the photo’s around the room, landing on Twilight Sparkle
“Twilight first…” She whispered, laying her cheek onto the floor and sighing softly, why was life never easy?
Her depression and drinking soon turned into fatigue, making her fall asleep slowly on the floor - Her nightmare repeated itself, but this time Twilight Sparkle was the only one who left, would she not accept Rainbow Dash?
“T-Twilight’s better than that…” She told herself in her unscious state “She wouldn’t walk away…”
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, the room was bright - She looked over to the door, it was now shut
“I-I didn’t shut it… Who di-” Rainbow Dash was interrupted, a purple pony loomed over her
“I did!” Twilight giggled playfully as she looked over Rainbow Dash, she could see the cider bottle knocked over and picked it up in her hoof
“So you like the apple family’s cider?” She smiles as she looks down to Rainbow Dash who just coughed softly as she attempted to get on her hooves, stumbling slightly as she did so.
It was clear to Twilight that Rainbow Dash was drinking to repress something - She watched as the pony fell side to side, and flared up her horn, her magic softly caught onto Rainbow Dash’s torso, straightening her out, Rainbow blushed and smiled softly
“T-Thanks…” She stared at Twilight blankly for a minute, considering whether she should tell her or stay silent, but Twilight hooked onto her insecurity and fear, looking eye-to-eye with Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash scoffed softly, her eyelids quivering half-way as a tear formed in her eye, she sucked in her breath and stepped forward, planting a kiss on Twilight’s cheek and pulling away - Twilight made no effort to resist, she just looked shocked as she stared at Rainbow Dash, trying to think if that had really just happened.
Rainbow Dash’s heart sank to her stomach as Twilight stood there, she folded her ears down and cried, trotting to the door and pushing it open with her forehead, becoming airborne and flying away in seconds
Twilight shot her hoof out as to say “Wait!” But it was too late, Rainbow Dash was gone.
She planted herself on the roof of her house and buried her face in her hooves, her cries growing louder than before, she could feel a soft tugging on her tail, and she looked back - There was a purple aura around the tip, she wagged her tail rapidly to try and get it off, but it was stubborn - And began pulling her
“N-No!” She yelled out as she held onto the roof for dear life, she didn’t know who was behind it, it could of been anypony.
