Stay Back, Foul Beast!

by Truffles

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Wonderbolts
Length: 3249

The Wonderbolts are back in Ponyville to put on an airshow with Rainbow Dash premiering as an official member. Unbeknownst to three of them, an old nemesis is there as a spectator who has fallen victim to the aftermath of Dash's epic crash.

All of the Wonderbolts are back in Ponyville for the first time in several years, and they have just finished putting on an airshow with Rainbow Dash premiering as an official member. Unbeknownst to three of them, an old nemesis is there as a spectator...

This story takes during the aftermath of Rainbow Dash's epic failure to impress her teammates in the episode "Newbie Dash."

Published 2016-07-24 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-24 20:00:01 UTC

A Mishap and Misunderstanding

The scene was one of carnage. Brightly-colored pink, fluffy carnage.

Spike, covered in the remnants of the cotton candy he had been carrying, lay upside down against a small wooden shed, his clawed feet dangling in the air above him. He had been hit by something and flung towards the structure, and now was nursing a sore head as he saw a light-beige, blue-uniformed pegasus running towards him.

“Hey little fella, are you alright?” asked the pegasus as she worriedly looked over the upended dragon.

“Oof, I think so. Somepony get the license plate of that wagon…”

She held out her hoof to him, and he slowly reached up to grab it with one claw. As he pulled himself up, his helper could only look over incredulously. “Wow, you must be one tough little guy to take a hit like that and still be in one piece!”

Spike finished righting himself and brushed the dirt off his scales. “Well, all us dragons are built for adversity – at least that's been my experience, y’know?” he concluded with a forlorn shrug.

“Oh, I'm so sorry – please accept my apology on behalf of all the Wonderbolts. It’s rare for an audience member to get hurt during a performance.” The pegasus looked up and behind her and scratched her chin. “I don’t know what happened up there. I looked up and saw our newest member still flying around after we had all touched down, and then there was this stray storm cloud… How did it get into the aerial arena?” She shook her head and grumbled. “The reservists were supposed to have cleared them all out right before the show started!”

“Well, I sure don’t know,” came Spike's reply as he licked up some of the fluffy pink stuff stuck to his forehead and face with his long, serpentine tongue. “The last thing I remember is riding on my friend Pinkie–”

“Pinkie? As in Pinkie Pie? You know her?”

“Of course I know Pinkie, doesn’t everypony?” Spike chuckled. “Though I’m kind of upset at her right now,” his voice turning sullen again. “She wanted more and more cotton candy from that vendor over there, and it took so long we were late getting back to the stands and I missed the airshow!”

“Aw, that’s too bad,” she cooed as she patted the dragon on his shoulder. “The reason I asked about Pinkie is because she’s an inspiration to me of a sort.” The pegasus sat down and sighed. “Before I became a Wonderbolt, I always wanted to be a party pony like Pinkie. But, I also loved flying and my passion for it eventually drew me into the Wonderbolts!”

“Guess being a Wonderbolt pretty much rules out throwing parties for everypony, huh?”

“Yeah. I still do it for my teammates and friends, but no pony can throw a party like Pinkie Pie!”

“Tell me about it,” Spike chuckled. “Before I met Pinkie, my birthdays were quiet get-togethers where the highlight of the evening was getting a book! Now it’s an all-day affair of eating, dancing, and gift-giving where I not only get to celebrate my hatching but my friends all getting their cutie marks as well!”

Spike then let out a sigh as he chewed on the last bits of cotton candy that were stuck to him. “Anyway, I think I’ll be okay. I guess I’d better let you get back with the rest of your team.”

“Oh, okay,” she answered halfheartedly. She found this little dragon to be quite a character, and was disappointed he was set on leaving so soon. “By the way, my name’s Surprise.” She held out her hoof towards Spike, at which point he grabbed it and gave her a hearty shake with both claws.

“A pleasure to meet you. I’m Spike. I live here in Ponyville with my friends, but I've been on a few adventures in my time. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?” he finished with a confident smile.

“Spike, eh?” She looked upward and pondered the name for a moment. “Hmmm, nope! Doesn’t ring a bell.”

Spike’s features and cheek fins slumped as he let out a sigh. “Typical.”

Surprise let out a quiet, sympathetic murmur, once again feeling sorry for this amiable little creature. She gave him a good looking over and after a moment tapped her front hoof against her chin and reconsidered. “Y’know, you do look awfully familiar, though. I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before…”

“Maybe my statue in the Crystal Empire?” Spike asked with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Oh yeah – yeah! That could be it. Maybe.” The pegasus began shaking her head however, not at all confident she was remembering correctly. “Though it feels more like I’ve met you and not some sort of effigy. As in, face-to-face.”

“I don’t seem to recall us meeting, though,” Spike shrugged.

“Hmm, this is very peculiar. Hold on for moment, sweetie.” She patted him lightly on his shoulder and then turned back to the group of Wonderbolts gathered around one of their teammates as she was slowly lifted onto a stretcher. “Hey, Blaze! High Winds! Could the two of you pull yourself away from Dash for a moment?”

Spike perked up upon hearing the name of his friend and looked over to the gathered crowd. “Dash?” Spike gasped. “As in Rainbow Dash? Is she alright?”

“Yeah, she’s going to be okay,” Surprise answered solemnly. “But she’s – um… She’s kind of the member of our team that crashed into you. You know her, too?”

“Yeah. She’s why my friends and I all were excited to come and see the show. We wanted to see Rainbow’s first performance with you all! I didn’t think it would end like this, though.”

“Hi Surprise, what’s up?” a golden pegasus chimed in as she was soon followed by her dark-maned, light monochromatic-coated partner.

“Hey, girls. I want the two of you to meet Spike. He got walloped real good by Dash in her accident.”

“Oh my, is he okay?” High Winds asked. “Rainbow came in really fast!”

“I didn’t even know she hit anypony – I thought she just collided with all that cotton candy,” Blaze remarked.

“Don’t worry, Spike here is one tough little dude,” Surprise answered as she gave him a friendly rub on his head. “But the crash isn’t why I called the two of you over here.” She then wrapped Spike around her foreleg and gently coaxed him over to the other two pegasi. “Does he look familiar to either of you?”

“Well, I know of a Spike that saved the archery teams at the Equestria Games,” High Winds responded. “I was sitting in the audience. Is this him here?”

“That was me,” Spike chimed in, unable to help but grin and puff his chest out over the apparent recognition from one of the Wonderbolts.

Blaze stepped forward with one brow raised and gave him a withering look. “I take it that was also you who butchered our Cloudsdale anthem, then?”

And just like that, his grin quickly faded, replaced by a nervous tapping together of his index claws. “Er, yeah. I guess you heard about that?”

“Heard about it? I was there for your ‘performance!’ What the hay got into you, making up a bunch of silly lyrics for our city’s anthem?”

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry about that!” Spike pleaded. “I just got caught up in the moment, and thought I was supposed to sing the Equestrian anthem.” Spike’s arms went limp as he looked down at the ground. “I guess I just wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You sure weren’t,” High Winds chuckled. “I had to go and down a couple hard ciders at the concession stand after hearing that monstrosity!”

“Gee, it didn’t sound that bad to me,” Surprise interjected. “I guess I was having too much fun dancing around in my seat after Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot got the gold medal in the relay race. Was that really you out there, Spike?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, don’t worry about it,” she said as she ran a hoof through his frills. “I’m sure we’ll get some gold medals in the next Equestria Games and everything will be forgotten.”

“So, Surprise…” Blaze interjected as her patience was starting to wear thin, “was meeting ‘DJ Drake’ here the only reason you called us over?”

“Oh, nonono – come closer and get a good look at him. I keep telling myself I’ve seen this dragon before – and not just from a distance at the games. There’s something strangely familiar about him…”

Blaze and High Winds moved in closer to size Spike up, which made him a little uncomfortable. Who’d want a couple of mares poking and prodding at a little dragon like him? Well, scratch that – that part actually wasn’t too unbearable, Spike thought!

But being looked upon like some oddity – scrutinized for every detail, every measurement – even to the point of sniffing at him, reminded him of when Twilight decided to make him into a school project – a project for Celestia explaining the biology of dragons. Needless to say, he didn’t like getting treated like something meant for show-and-tell back then, and he definitely wasn’t too fond of it now. It was then that Blaze suddenly jumped back, her cool demeanor now replaced by a look of fear in her eyes.

“No, it can’t be!”

“What can’t be?” Surprise asked as she moved next to Blaze to see what it was that had unnerved her teammate.

“This dragon – his coloring, his eyes, even the smell of his breath – I know who you are, you wretched monster!”

“Wretched monster?” Spike moved forward, confused by the pegasus’ unexpected change of mood. “I'm not a monster, and the only thing wretched about me is maybe my stinky feet, or perhaps when I eat too many beans–”

“Stay back, foul beast!” she reacted as Spike drew nearer to her. “I’m warning you, you’ll lose more than a few spines this time if you come any closer!”

“I don’t understand,” Surprise asked again as she looked across to High Winds for some clarification. Her dark-maned teammate too, however, was now looking nervous as the mention of spines brought back a flood of unpleasant memories.

“Oh, no – no, no, no – the horror! It’s all coming back!” High Winds cried as she rolled on her side and curled into a ball. “The sleepless nights! The countless therapy sessions! All because of you, you big meanie!”

“What? What did I do?” Spike pleaded, trying to to figure out why the discussion had taken on such a nasty tone.

“Oh, now I think I know what you girls are talking about,” Surprise said, now also with a bit of trepidation. “Uh, yeah, I’d say there’s definitely a resemblance there. Spike, I don’t suppose you happen to have a big, mean parent, or maybe a really big, angry older brother that visited Ponyville a few years ago?”

Spike didn’t bother to answer as his look of shock quickly gave way to a look of defeat. His shoulders slumped and he could no longer look the three of them in the face. “Oh, right. No, that wasn’t some older family member – that was me,” he answered glumly.

“Aha,” Blaze shouted, “an admission of guilt! Surprise, High Winds – don’t take your eyes off him. He could grow gigantic at a moment’s notice! Who knows what sort of twisted, dark magic is at work here that allows the hero of the Crystal Empire to become an evil, hulking behemoth?”

Spike’s expression went from one of contrition to one of annoyance. “Oh come on – look at me! You give me way too much credit, sister. I'm in no danger of turning into some towering monster anytime soon.” He then had a realization that raised his ire even more. “And you mention my spines? That reminds me of something I’ve wanted to get off my chest since then: While I don’t remember a lot of what happened that day, I do remember that part – and let me tell you – it really hurt! Imagine what it would feel like for you if somepony chopped off your tail with a machete?”

Blaze blinked in astonishment at the dragon's contentious attitude. “Well, what did you expect me to do? Let you go on rampaging through Ponyville?”

Spike sighed and recomposed himself. “Look, I’m not a bad dragon. I still feel awful about what happened even though I’ve apologized to almost everypony in town. It’s not my fault you three haven’t been back since the incident until now. And it wasn’t magic – it was just me getting carried away on my birthday and causing an unexpected growth spurt. It’s just something us dragons have to deal with.”

“You’re saying dragons can grow to any size at will?” Blaze responded with some disbelief, slightly annoyed that this dragon wasn’t as contrite as she felt he should be. “If you weren’t standing before us – the size you are now – I’d say that was crazy.”

“We can’t do it at will,” Spike replied. “It’s an effect of getting too greedy. How fast a dragon grows depends on how greedy they are, at least that’s what Twilight’s understanding of the process is.” Spike's eyes then dropped shamefully to the ground again. “And I was really greedy on that day the three of you tried to stop me…”

“Oh. Ohhhh!” Surprise cried out as she was struck by a sudden revelation. “So you’re saying as long as you don’t act all greedy and such, you’ll stay small? Is that why we couldn’t find you after we escaped from that–”

“Water tank! Get it off, get – it – off!” High Winds suddenly cried out, still rolling in a ball on her side on the ground with a crazy glare in both eyes.

“Um, excuse our partner’s reaction,” Blaze interjected, slightly bewildered by the spectacle down by her hooves. “Us pegasi don’t particularly like dark, confined spaces. High Winds suffers from it in particular.”

Spike’s eyelids shot her a dispassionate look as he responded flatly. “I noticed.”

“In any case, I’m not sure how to proceed,” Blaze continued. “On one hoof, I feel like I should arrest you as a threat to the kingdom.”

The little dragon gulped, and even Surprise drew a sharp breath upon learning of this possible consequence.

“But, seeing how young you are, you’d become some dungeon dweller’s personal plaything before the end of the day–”

“Spike doesn’t want,” he quickly interjected with much apprehension, instinctively tugging at and wrapping his tail tightly around his side with both his claws.

“Right. It doesn’t make sense for me to do that. Plus, you seem to have it under control and since then you’ve become a hero twice over. Plus it literally adds insult to injury to have to cart you away after Cra – I mean Dash – collided with you like that.”

“So… I guess that means we’re good, then?”

“For now. But – if I ever get any reports of a rampaging purple and green dragon again, it’s off to the Canterlot dungeon for you, mister.” She finished her point by tapping him squarely in the chest. “Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Spike replied demurely. He then turned to the pegasus mare still curled up on the ground, “Um, what about your friend High Winds, here? Shouldn’t we do something to help her?”

Surprise trotted forward, “Oh, give me a moment – I’ll take care of this!” she replied confidently. She bent down close to her friend and started stroking her mane. “Who’s a good little Wonderbolt, hmm? It’s you! There’s no shame in getting beaten by a big, old dragon, now is there? Now what did your therapist say to do in these situations?”

High Winds responded weakly, “Focus on clear blue skies…”

“That’s right! Think you can do that?”

“S–sure.” As she started, her expression when from one of dread to a wide-eyed, faraway gaze. “Clear blue skies. Clear blue skies. Clear blue skies…”

Surprise got back up and grinned widely as the incapacitated pony continued to repeat her mantra. “She’ll be fine in a bit.”

Blaze could only roll her eyes and shake her head. “I think we should get back to our injured comrade. I’d like to know what the hay she thought she was doing.” She then lifted High Winds and leaned her against her shoulder. “C’mon, Hoof-in-Mouth, I’ll help you over there.”

Surprise waved her friends off, still hearing the mantra on the lips of her one dazed partner, before turning back to the little dragon. “Well, it was nice meeting you Spike.” Surprise said. “This was certainly a lot more pleasant than the last time we met!” she laughed.

“Well, maybe for you,” Spike answered with a hint of sarcasm.

“Yeah… That’s a good point.” The pegasus then started shyly poking at the dirt with her hoof. “Well, uh, how about this, then? The next time you’re in Cloudsdale, look me up! I’ll throw you an awesome apology party!” Surprise then came in close and gave him a wink, “One you won’t soon forget.”

With that, she darted off to join the rest of her team who were already helping Rainbow Dash up onto a stretcher. Spike, meanwhile stood there, blinking. His eyes – wide as saucepans – more resembling those of his buddy Owlowiscious. With him standing there starkly in the open field, Twilight – the Princess of Friendship and pony who helped raise him – finally saw where her beloved assistant had disappeared to and teleported over to him in an instant.

“Spike! I’ve been looking all over for you! I was worried you were hurt in the accident! Are you alright?”

Spike scratched impassively at a slight itch on his right arm before finally breaking out of his stupor and answering the Princess of Friendship. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

“Oh, I’m so relieved,” she said as she exhaled a relaxed breath.

“Yeah… Don’t worry about me.” He hesitated for a moment as the wheels in his head began to turn, and then continued, “Twilight, mind if I ask you something?”

“Sure, go right ahead!”

“What do you think are the chances of the map sending me to Cloudsdale anytime soon?”

Author's Note

This was a silly little story I wrote to get over a writer's block while I worked on "Dragons Eat Diamonds, Don't They?" It's one of several one-shots I have floating around in my head that spawned from the new episodes during the first half of season 6.

The original draft lacked punch. Originally it ended with Spike complaining to Blaze about having his spines lopped off, but it felt abrupt. So I shifted things around and now it ends with some (mostly) harmless innuendo.

Apologies to the Blaze and High Winds fans out there; I had to make somepony adversarial and the two of them made more sense than Surprise. :twilightblush:

It was fun writing Surprise. It was wonderful to learn she was a G1 pony who was the inspiration for Pinkie Pie, and even shares a similar cutie mark! I guess both her and Spike being from G1 is something else they have in common and can discuss during whatever it is she has planned for him! :rainbowlaugh: :pinkiehappy: :twilightoops: :twilightangry2: :moustache: