Clem

by midashguy

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy
Length: 1096

The Greatest Warrior Arrives in Equestria

The greatest hero in the universe has arrived in Equestria, with only one thing to say...

Clem.

An absolutely insane Warframe crossover.

Published 2016-07-11 04:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-07-11 04:50:02 UTC

Grakata

The Origin system's most important Grineer renegade stepped out of a shrub. He marveled at the beauty that lay before him. He was of course inspecting his custom Twin Grakatas, and was in no way paying attention to the small colorful town a distance away. Upon looking up and seeing this town, Clem knew what must be done.

"Clem."

And so it came to pass that Equestria would meet the Origin System's most eligible bachelor.

Princess Twilight Sparkle was in her Magic Princess Sparkle Castle Tree™ doing a bunch of princess nonsense, when there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" asked the Princess. The answer was of course...

"Clem." Twilight opened the door, wondering what could possibly be on the other side of the door, as she did not recognize the voice. What greeted her was the most top-heavy lifeform she could imagine. It was bulky, armored, and it's helmet plate was clearly not being worn properly. Pity her, for she could not comprehend the magnificence of the legendary hero that stood before her. For if she did she would have bowed humbly, and requested permission to worship the holy ground he walked upon.

"I...Who...what are you?" Twilight wondered.

"Clem." said Clem.

"Your name is Clem?"

"Clem." said Clem.

"Ok...uh, why are you here exactly?" Twilight asked skeptically.

"Clem." said Clem.

"Is the only thing you can say Clem?" Twilight was getting frustrated.

"Grakata." Clem explained. He showed her his mighty weapons of choice.

"And those are..." Twilight trailed off.

"Grakata." Clem nodded, and thus Clem imparted upon the Princess of Friendship the most valuable and poetic of knowledge.

"Clem Grakata." said Clem. Twilight facehoofed.

"Right...so where are you from, Clem?" Twilight asked, hoping to get an answer that wasn't "Clem" or "Grakata".

"Clem." Clem turned and left. Off to dazzle others with his genius and charm. Twilight chased after him. The duo almost immediately encountered Rainbow Dash, sleeping in the ditch next to Twilight's Magic Princess Sparkle Castle Tree™. Why was the ditch there? Why was Rainbow Dash sleeping in it? The world may never know, or care for that matter. All that matters is that she was awoken by the most powerful word ever spoken.

"Clem."

Rainbow Dash awoke. She turned, and saw Twilight standing next to...something. Sitting up, she asked.

"Twilight, what is that."

"This. Is Clem." Twilight huffed.

"What is he?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Clem." Clem said.

"Does he say anything else?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Grakata." Clem said.

"What's a Gra-Ka-Ta?" Rainbow Dash tried pronouncing the word, but it didn't quite come out right.

"Grakata." Clem grunted, showing her the marvelous weapons.

"Do you say anything else?" Rainbow Dash implored.

"Clem." said Clem. Rainbow Dash turned to Twilight.

"I love this guy." And with that, Rainbow Dash became part of the Clem Harem/Fan club.

Pinkie Pie came bouncing towards the group.

"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" She cried. "A new friend! So excited! Hi my name is Pinkie Pie and I'm going to be your bestest friend and we are going to have so much fun!"

"Clem." said Clem.

"Pinkie Pie." said Pinkie Pie.

"Clem?" Clem said, unsure.

"Pinkie Pie." Pinkie Pie assured him.

"Clem, Clem Grakata." Clem explained.

"Wow, that's...incedible! Neat story!" Pinkie Pie cheered.

"Wait, Pinkie, you understand him?" Twilight asked in disbelief.

"Yep! He's from a far away place in outer space, and goes on all these adventures with a Canadian sales person and a bunch of God-children using corrupted metal flesh puppets to fight against a clone army, which he was apart of, but left because they are like super evil. Either that or he said Clem, Clem Grakata. I could simply be paraphrasing." Pinie Pie shrugged.

"Clem." said Clem.

"What's a Canadian, What, and What?" Twilight asked, somehow more confused after Pinkie's explanation.

"It makes a lot more sense when your there Twilight. Well except for the new navigation system, which is a little complicated." Pinkie muttered under her breath. Pinkie continued to mutter, something about Argon crystals and "RNG". Twilight shook her head, chalking it up to Pinkie Pie simply being Pinkie Pie.

While they had been distracted by such nonsense, Clem had wandered off, chasing a butterfly.

"Clem."

"Your such a good listener Clem." Fluttershy said, pouring the God of Grakata a cup of tea in her home. "I rarely get to talk to anyone about my problems."

"Clem." Clem chimed in, lifting the tea cup to his faceplate in a vain attempt at drinking it. He succeeded in pouring all over himself though.

"Clem, Grakata!" He swore, saying the Grakata's name in vain.

"Oh dear, let me get something to clean that up." Fluttershy comforted, flying into the kitchen.

Some stupid rabbit hopped up onto the couch and kicked Clem in the side of the leg. Clem looked down at the small attacker.

"Clem." Clem insisted. The rabbit kicked again. Clem had taken enough of it. He took off his faceplate, giving Angel Bunny a infinitely rare glimpse at what lay behind.

Clem.

Clem spoke and the universe obeyed. Angel simply phased out of existence and was never seen or heard from again. Not that anypony noticed or anything. Clem replaced his faceplate in it's proper tilted place, just in time for Fluttershy to fly back into the living room with some napkins.

"Clem." Clem said cheerfully.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, and the rest of the gang, came through the front door.

"There you are Clem!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Clem." Clem said, and proceeded to hug each of them.

"Clem." said Clem, walking past them and out the door. Shielding his faceplate from the sun with one hand, he scanned the sky, looking for a particular point in the sky. Once he found it, he turned to the friends he had just made.

"Clem. Grakata Clem. Clem Clem Grakata Clem." He said. Pinkie Pie began to tear up. "He has such a way with words." She sighed.

Pointing his Twin Grakatas at the ground, he pulled the triggers, propelling himself into the sky. Higher and higher he went, till he was but a speck in the sky. This is when they heard it, like a whisper in the wind.

"CLEM!"

Darvo stood in his shop, rearranging some ~~trash~~ merchandise. Hearing footsteps behind him, he turned and saw a familiar face.

"Clem! Your back! How did your vacation go? Eh?" Darvo asked, jolly as ever.

"Clem!" said Clem.

"Good to hear!"

"Clem."

Author's Note

Huh. The word Clem appears in this story 69 times. Neat.