My life seemed so screwed up. At first I had friends pushing me along, and I knew that they would always be behind me. If I needed somebody to stand with me, they would be there. I had my dreams, my future, my ideals...I was so young then. I was too naive. Coming from a small town like Ponyville makes you think that everything is bright and happy, and that you could do anything that you set your heart to. Those were great times, and it made you think of the impact you thought you could put into this sad world.
My biggest dream was to become a wonderbolt, one of Equestria's greatest flyers. That was my dream when I was small, and at that time it was. I trained hard everyday, harder then anybody. My wings were strong, my head held high. I zipped through flight school and was named the top flyer. I entered the best young flyer contest and I won that too. I was sure that I would make the wonderbolts. And it wasn't long before I packed my things and said goodbye to my friends as I made the journey to Canterlot for the tryouts. It was going to be a breeze.
And that is when I discovered the cruelty of the world.
On the tryouts, I was the best. I came in first on each heat, beating the others by what seemed like a mile. I was the fastest one there, and I knew that there was no other who could best me. I was definitely going to make the team. And when the names were called for who had made it...Mine was not.
Angrily, I stormed into Spitfire's office demanding the reasons. And it was like she knew I was coming, and her eyes had already told me that she knew exactly what she was going to say.
"You were the best flyer I have ever seen..." Spitfire said, clenching her hand, "But it is not up to me or Soarin' about who gets in or not. You were at the top of the list each time, Rainbow. It was up to the Wonderbolt organization."
"So why?!" I cried, tears welling up into my eyes, "Was it something I did?! Was it something I-
"No." Spitfire said sadly, "The Pegasi who were chosen...were of Canterlot nobility. They paid the the organization to get in, Rainbow. There was nothing wrong with you. You were perfect. I'm sorry it had to be this way." I was stunned. I was raised in Ponyville believing that I could be something, that I could follow my dream. And even if I didn't make it I would just train harder and harder. But as I left the office, I realized it.
The real world is cruel. There will always be somebody that will be beyond you and take away everything you care about....and you can't do anything about it because....because of how you were born. Those pegasi were born into rich families...and I was born into a community filled with love and hope. And because of that...I couldn't reach my dream. And when this reality hit me, I knew I couldn't go back to Ponyville. Back to where we hid behind our walls of happiness and love. There was no way.
I couldn't face my friends either. I had a taste of the cruel world, and I wouldn't want them to have it either. So then I left without saying anything...and I went straight to Manehattan. The heart of all the cruelty in Equestria.
It was hard at first...living on the streets, looking for work as I spent the last of my bits. I couldn't afford a place to stay, and it seemed like all jobs were taken. And there was no way I was going to sell my body on the streets. That was just disgracing. And when all seemed lost and I was a goner, they found me.
They were a gang...Called themselves The Jackals. They were mostly made up of others around my age, and they were feared throughout the streets. Together with them, I slipped into the darkness of the world. And it was then that I began to live like they did.
At night, we often robbed the houses of the rich, jumping into the piles of our new-found wealth. We sold many things that I had never seen in Ponyville before. Capsules, injections...many things that Celestia deemed dangerous, causing her to forbid it. And because of that, selling them made us major bank. Of course we did them every now and then, and it wasn't long before the bright fields of Ponyville began to just become a memory.
We partied, drank, did all kinds of things. I lost count on how many men or women that I woke up next to in the morning. I didn't even know their names most of the time. They were all just blank faces, and sex between all of us was just like animals. We were hungry, diving into our prey. And in the morning, we almost never met again. It was fun but...sometimes it just felt so empty.
I found myself climbing through Jackal ranks, and it wasn't long before they saw me as a great leader. It was laughable at first, but after a while I really took charge. There were smaller rival gangs, but they didn't last long when I was in control. The Jackals soon began to practically own all the streets of Manehattan, every club and every store. We were loan sharks, thugs, robbers...It was the real world. The world that Celestia couldn't even imagine. And before I knew it, three short years had passed. And Ponyville was gone from my memories.
It was supposed to be a typical day. I woke up from the bed of a strong man, his arm cradling me. Disgusted, I threw it off and found my clothes that were scattered around the floor. I slipped on my black shorts that ran high and my tank top that ran low. I looked in the mirror. My hair was its usual rainbow frenzy, and my skin was soft looking and hot. There weren't many that could resist me, and I remembered to keep using it as an advantage.
Grabbing some cash that I found in his apartment, I took off. It was another cloudy day, and I was already used to the bleak dead faces of the people that passed me by. They were all filled with hope once too. But I survived it while they didn't. They still kept it in their hearts. I threw it away.
As I walked down the street I heard a horrible scream. Turning my head, I noticed black smoke in the sky. An apartment building was caught on fire. There was a group of people gathering in the streets as they watched. I was one of them. There was a women screaming in front, pointing up a few floors.
"My daughter! She's in there!" The women cried, "Somebody help me!" She had to face reality. The firemen probably wouldn't get there soon enough and her daughter was probably already dead from the smoke or flames anyway. And nobody was going to lift their hand to help out. Nobody cared about others but themselves. That was the truth of the world. I was about to walk away.
Then out of nowhere a tall, strong looking man rushed out from the crowd, kicking down the door and rushing into the tall building. I blinked, having to rub my eyes a little.
"What the hell is he doing?!" A voice cried out.
"Something's wrong with that guy...He's gonna get killed!"
I didn't say anything and only watched the structure, flames pouring out from the windows. There was no way that he could have survived. The smoke probably already got him. There was a large explosion and glass was scattered onto the crowd below. That probably got him. There was no way-
He jumped out of a window on the first floor, his body covered in ash. His red flannel shirt was seared at the ends, and his jeans were torn and dirty. He had been wearing a stetson hat, and that was practically all burned up. In his hands he held a small child that was unconscious...but breathing. I recognized him from somewhere...but where?
"Thank you so much!" The women cried out as he handed her the little girl. All the man did was tip his hat, smile, and give one small reply.
"Eeypup."
"...Big Mac?..." The words left my mouth so suddenly that I couldn't stop it. There were a lot of sounds going around, but they all seemed to stop as he turned to look at me. Normally, there would be a huge gasp of surprise, or eyes would widen or something. But he only looked at me and smiled.
"Hey there, Miss Rainbow."
Big Mac. My first crush.
Back at Ponyville he was the hardest working man that I have ever seen. He never complained and did his job. Whether it was working in the fields or helping repair something he would try his best. I didn't know what attracted me to him at first. Was it his strength? His lovely green eyes? His friendliness? I never knew, but it's like I didn't have to. I didn't know what he was doing in Manehattan, but I needed to get him out of there.
Without a word and grabbed his hand and pulled him through the crowd as people cheered for him, patting his back.
"Don't let your girlfriend punish you for saving a life!" One of them laughed. I was happy that Big Mac was behind me to not see my blush.
I set him down in my messy apartment, completely embarrassed to have him see what it looked like. Clothes, boxes, wrappers, bottles...all sorts of things littered the floors. I quickly ran into my bathroom and pulled out my first aid kit that I had stashed away.
Surprisingly, he wasn't that burned. He had more cuts then anything, and his hair was just a bit seered. I threw him into the shower, telling him that I would try to find some clothes for him. He just nodded and didn't say anything.
I could only find a men's shirt that was too small for him and a pair of sweat pants that was surprisingly just his size. He sat in my living room as I made two quick cups of coffee.
"Now...." I cleared my throat, taking a seat in front of him, "Why are you here?..."
He told me that Sweet Apple Acres was going through a bit of a hard time. There was a drought going on, and Applejack sent him into the city to find a job for him to take while it was going on. He was passing by when the building started on fire, and before he knew it he had rushed in.
"I wish you never came here...." I said, setting my cup onto the table, "The real world isn't like Ponyville at all. Everyone is selfish, and money is the only thing that goes around here. Here, life will chew you up and spit you back out. Ponyville only made you think that life was like that everywhere. But it isn't." There was a long moment of silence. And for a second I thought Big Mac wasn't going to speak.
"Rainbow..." He said, "You didn't make the wonderbolts, did you?" I bit my lip. For once, I felt vulnerable and weak. I was strong and tall to my gang, but here...to Big Mac...I just didn't have it in me.
"No. And it was the cruel world that showed me that I would never be one. It took away my dream, Macintosh. The dream that I had made back in Ponyville where they're all naive. Where you're naive!" For some reason I became angry and stood up, "Ponyville is fake! It's just making us believe that we can be something! It gives us false hope!" I couldn't tell, but tears were beginning to well up in my eyes.
Big Mac watched me silently, not taking his eyes off as I cried and shouted. When I had finished, I collapsed onto the floor holding my head in my hands. He made his way to me, putting an arm around my shoulder.
"I'm gonna be here for a while, so if you need anyone to talk to..." He smiled at me warmly, "I'll be here."
I cried into his shoulder for what seemed like hours before he had to leave. He gave me his apartment address, and told me his working hours. He said that he would be there until harvest, and that I was welcome to come anytime.
I came just about every day.
He kept me up to date about everything, about how Twilight decided to become a school teacher, and about how Pinkie Pie was taking charge of Sugarcube corner. He also told me about how Rarity was already a top class fashion designer, and that Fluttershy was opening up a veterinary clinic. When I asked about Applejack he just smiled and said that she was too busy with the farm to do anything fun. Each day I visited him, memories were flooding back to me. About the times that I spent with my friends and things that we did.
My mood was picking up with every passing day, and my gang was noticing it. And they seemed to think that something was going with me. I wasn't taking leadership like usual, and I had stopped partying with them (I was at Big Mac's whenever they did). They asked if I was seeing anybody, and I just waved them off.
Time passed by so quickly, and before I knew it Big Mac was going to leave.
I was helping him pack up his things, and he noticed that my hands were shaking. I didn't want him to go. My life was picking up with him around...and if he left I would just go right back. Tears were welling up in my eyes again, and he pulled me into a big hug.
"Rainbow..." He said with a smile, "Ponyville may seem fake to you....but the friendship and the memories....They're real. Love there is real. It may have hurt your dreams...but there is more life than being a wonderbolt." I needed somebody to say those words. I turned and kissed him, pushing him down onto his bed. We made the most passionate love that night, and when I woke up in his bed our arms were wrapped around each other.
"You sure they won't be mad?..."
"Nnope."
"That better be the case. You better not be lying to me!"
"Nnope."
"Okay...okay...deep breaths Rainbow. It's only been three years...You POSITIVE they won't be mad?" Big Mac nudged me with his elbow on the train, smiling widely, "C'mon Rainbow. They won't be mad."
"Okay..." I said, resting my head on his shoulder, "I'll take your word for it."
"Is that gang of yours okay with you leaving?"
"Psh! Well of course they weren't. But I never told them where I lived before so they can't find me!" Big Mac chuckled and kissed me lightly on the forehead. I blushed slightly, looking out the windows.
Life itself is hard. You may not achieve your dreams, and there might be a period of time when you think its all over. But there is always a place you can go back to...A place where those dreams and memories can brighten up your smile. And before you know it, you'll find yourself a new dream. A new dream that you KNOW will come true. I looked up at Big Mac and smiled, kissing him.
"I love you."
