Inviting Dash to dinner, (all attempts)
Attempt 1...
It was a nice sunny day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping, and bees were buzzing. And Dashs were dashing. Well at least that's what Rarity thought as she peeked out from below her wide brimmed sunhat. Correction, Lady Rarity thought, it was a nice day until her object of affection was completely clueless as usual. She had made her way below the pegasi's cloud house, looking simply magnificent as usual. Then, using her most alluring and cheerful voice possible, she had called out a cheerful greeting, only to be greeted by a grumpy yet adorable looking pegasus in turtle slippers, and a purple robe, which was the color of royalty if she might add. She told her love exactly what she thought of her, and it didn't go over quite as well as she had hoped.
"Rarity, it is 7:00 in the morning! What in Celestia are you doing!"
"Oh, hello Rainbow Dash! Didn't have any idea you were here!", Rarity had exclaimed dramatically, batting her eyelashes.
Rainbow had just rolled her eyes. She knew exactly where this would lead. "Rarity, what are you talking about?", Dash had asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
The last thing Rarity had wanted to do that day was make her love frustrated, so she backed down, trying to smooth over whatever mistake she had made. "Why Rainbow Dash, you look simply adorable! Aren't you just the cutest pony in all of Equestria?!"
"I'm not cute, I'm awesome!", Rainbow had said back that morning. And then she had gotten ready to close the door.
"Wait!", Rarity had shouted in an unusual bout of desperation, "would you like to go to dinner sometime?", and then Rarity batted her eyelashes some more, to naive to realize that there was a reason nopony talked to Rainbow Dash in the early morning in her cloud house. It was because if they did, she would get extremely pissed. And Rainbow was no less attractive to Rarity that day than any other day, but Rarity was not as attractive to Dash that day. Especially since she had woke her up at an ungoddessly hour of the morning.
"Thanks, but no thanks.", Rainbow said, rolling her eyes and closing her door. Failing to realize that the pretty unicorn just outside her door really had wanted to go to dinner with her.
Attempt 2...
"Honestly, Rainbow Dash!", Rarity had whined one day as they were waiting in line for some of the Apple Family's cider. "Why are you so obsessed with this cider!"
"Because for the last time Rarity, they make the very best cider!", Dash had said crossing her arms.
"Ha!", Rarity had said, "if you come with me we can make our own cider!"
"Really?", Dash had asked, pretending to look enraptured.
"It shall be even better than their cider!", Rarity had declared, loving the attention she was getting from her future marefriend.
"Really?", Dash had said again, toying with Rarity.
"And it shall be the very best!", Rarity had continued triumphantly.
"Why?", Dash had asked boredly, giving up the charade. Rarity had not yet noticed though.
"Because it will have been made with love!", Rarity had squealed.
"Really?", Dash had asked, faking ecstasy once again.
"Yes!", Rarity had screeched.
"No.", Rainbow had deadpanned.
Attempt 3...
"Rainbow Dash! Oh Rainbow Dash!", Rarity had sang one day as she trotted leisurely through Applejack's orchard. She had been told by the farm mare that the pegasi was indefinitely here. Napping as per se was her usual hobby. Even though a pegasi napping in trees was quite an unusual hobby. No matter, the unicorn had spotted the mare's vibrant color in a plain green tree after several minutes of searching, and had ran up to the tree. She had yelled up the ginormous plant, but gave up after a minute because not even the ice cream truck could have waken up the sleeping polychromatic wonder. So Rarity had decided to try something she had seen Applejack do many times. Buck the tree Rainbow was sleeping in. That fateful day, Rarity had got up on her forelegs, and raised her hindlegs, and bucked. Well, tried to buck. She had actually just sprained a hoof. And after that traumatizing accident, she had decided to do it the way a unicorn would, rather than an earth pony would. She had decided to simply just shake the tree. With her magic. Hard. This would surely wake the pegasus up. Wake her up, yes. Win her heart and her trust, no. So Rarity had made the decision to shake the tree with the force of Applejack bucking it.
With a loud, "oomph!", Rainbow had fell from the tree, waking up with a start, and rubbing her head. "Aw AJ, is it to much trouble to let your fellow pony nap for 10 seconds?!" Then Rainbow had looked up and saw it was Rarity, and then she shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "What do you want now?", the athlete had asked, in a foal's voice. Whiny and annoying, but just ear grating enough to get whatever pony that was bothering her out of her sight.
But Rarity had kept her class. Well sort of. She had avoided walking away from Rainbow by whining right back.
"Will you PLEASE go to dinner with me! Please please please please please!", Rarity had squealed.
"No.", Rainbow had said, before flying away as fast as she could. This was getting creepy.
After a few more hundred attempts, Rarity just cut to the chase.
Attempt 123...
That day Rarity had borrowed Pinkie's balloons to float up to Rainbow door and ask her the same question she'd been asking her for months. Rarity knocked. Rainbow made the mistake of answering.
"Will you go to dinner with me?", Rarity had asked, batting her eyelashes.
"No," Rainbow had said, and slammed the door.
Attempt 124...
Today Rarity had opted to stand beneath Rainbow's house, shouting her name until she gave up. By the end of the day Rarity's voice sounded like a her cat Opla had used it as a scratching post.
Attempt 135...
Today Rarity had borrowed a cloud walking spell from Twilight. She had knocked on Rainbow door. And before Rainbow had opened it, she had told her, "Rainbow Dash I will stand outside your house all day until you answer my question."
Now Rainbow Dash had given up even answering the ivory unicorn's question after attempt 126, but something in her told her something had to give. And so she did. For the first time in her life, Rainbow gave in. After mumbling Sweet Celestia and a couple of other dirty words, she opened up her door and said yes.
Rarity had squealed, "You won't regret this!", and leaped off the cloud, only to be caught midair by the pegasus and floated safely down the rest of the way.
After Rarity was safely back on the ground, and Dash was in her bed that night, she mumbled, "I think I will."
The next morning, Dash woke up, fuzzy remnants of her little chat with Rarity the other night coming back to haunt her. In fact, she half expected to open up her door and see the nutcase on her cloud porch, except she had probably gotten sick of cloud walking spells. So, Dash ate breakfast, and then peeked out her door cautiously. Rarity would probably come up in the balloon next, so Dash stood at the ready, door slightly ajar, wondering what the slightly psychotic unicorn would try next. If felt like she was missing something. Something that would be crucial to her slowly fading mental health. Every time Rarity popped up at her house, inside or outside, a piece of her sanity fell from Celestia's sky.
But something was not right here. No, that was the gal darned truth as her friend Applejack would say. Everything was fuzzy, but what she did remember was drinking some cider, and then she may have made plans with Pinkie about so and so at somewhere. Now, Rainbow was not the brightest pegasi, but she knew enough that there were different types of cider. For example, there was hard cider, and then there was non-alcoholic cider. And she was just smart enough to know that regular cider did not give you a fizzy memory and a pulsating headache. Yeah, that was it. The gal darned truth, was that Applejack had failed to tell her that the cider she had given her for relaxation purposes, was hard, alcoholic cider.
Going to weather duty work was always peachy keen with a hangover. In fact,getting to her work without a F.U.I, (flying under influence slip), was the desired goal. And so was not falling asleep. And so was getting madder and madder over Applejack failing to mention that the cider was frickin hard cider! And she was so focused on that, that even after her work, was she in quite the tizzy. The Apple hating, post hangover rage if I may say.
So with that rage did she fly down to Sweet Apple Acres, and was about to practically dive bomb her apple bucking friend when a sugary sweet eloquent voice called out a greeting.
But thank Celestia it wasn't directed toward her. No, it was directed toward the poor unfortunate soul who made the mistake of messing with her. Applejack.
Her coat was even shinier than usual, and she was wearing a very flirty sundress. And heels. Sweet Celestia Rarity had on freakin heels! Rainbow Dash was so plum shocked at this point, she just could hardly contain herself from flying down, and demanding an explanation for all this fancy getup. Cause she liked it. A lot. Not that she would ever admit it, but she liked it.
In contrast to AJ, who was beautiful in her own unique way, of course, but still, Rainbow Dash thought, looking at the unicorn. She was no Rarity. But wait, back up. Rainbow didn't like Rarity, I mean sure, of course she liked mares. But Rarity type mares? I mean, those were high maintenance. With all that makeup. And that dress. And she did all that for me? Rainbow was starting to be impressed. A little. Not much, just a little. No matter how much her hormones disagreed...
"Rarity," Applejack said, wiping the dust and grime from her coat, "how very nice ta see ya again round these parts."
"Applejack, darling, I live," she said hesitating, but not before wrinkling up her nose, "round these parts."
"Well yeah, I'd reckon ya would considerin how you really do live 'round these parts."
"Well when you phrase it like that it sounds awkward."
"Really? Yet all yer fancy words don't?"
"All my fancy words are perfectly easy."
"Ooh, really? Prove it!", Applejack said, challenging the unicorn.
"I will!", Rarity said, stamping her hoof indignantly, and then recoiling when her hoof got muddy. Effectively taking away form her threatening stance.
"'Kay fine, start with a word you and Twilight use."
"Okay then. How about...", Rarity said struggling, trying to find a big fancy word that Applejack could pronounce.
"Well, git on with it then," Applejack prodded.
"Okay, fine AppleJack, I can't think of anything else at the moment but just be sure that once I find a word I will call you no matter what hour of Luna's night it is. Unless of course it's like, really late, I can't miss my beauty sleep."
Applejack rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, the reason I came here, is because Rainbow finally agreed to go on a date with me, and-"
"How many attempts did it take?"
"What?", Rarity asked.
"How many attempts?", Applejack said again, hardly waiting to see just how persistent the unicorn was.
Rarity coughed, and then mumbled, "Um, about one hundred and thirty."
Applejack burst out laughing in that southern drawl of hers. "Hoo wee I'm surprised she didn't run away after the fiftieth time!"
"Oh no, she ran.", Rarity casually mentioned.
"And you chased her?!", Applejack half exclaimed half gasped.
"Well," Rarity said a blush igniting her cheeks, "maybe for a bit."
A bit my hoof, Rainbow thought, as she was suspended on a cloud above, watching it all go down.
"Anyway," Rarity said clearing her throat. "I came here for a certain beverage."
Rainbow's face lit up like Hearth's Warming Lights as she had a hunch about what that special beverage might be.
Would it be cider, or hard cider? Which reminded her of her motive to come here in the first place. Gal darned Applejack. She got ready to go back down, but then reminded that Rarity was still there. And then she mentally rewinded back to what was like the ninth sentence Rarity had said. Was that? Was that it? Had she finally given in last night? Had she really given up?
But what Rarity said next confirmed Dash's worst fear. She gave in last night. Shit. She gave in.
"Hard cider. For a date tonight with Rainbow Dash.", Rarity continued. "And can you make it all sparkly?"
"What in tarnation do ya'll mean by all sparkly?'"
"Well you know, can you put like sparkles in or something.", Rarity stated.
Rainbow Dash face hoofed.
"No Rarity, ah'm pretty sure that wouldn't be healthy." Applejack shook her head, muttering under her breath, something about a dumb unicorn and her love love lovely sparkles.
"What was that?", Rarity asked.
"Well, Rainbow Dash ain't the type of pony to have sparkles in her drink."
Rainbow silently thanked Celestia for AJ's common sense.
"If anything, that gals gonna have lightning in hers.", AJ said, now sporting a wicked grin.
Rainbow silently cursed the princess for AJ's evil, disturbingly not, common sense.
Lightning did sound cool though...
"You shall do no such thing.", Rarity announced. "Or I will pull a few strings of my own."
"Oh yeah?", AJ said, snorting, "like what?"
Rarity whispered a few words in the earth pony's ear and AJ's face paled.
"Ya wouldn't!", AJ yelled. "How'd you know that? I want answers! When, where, why, and how!?"
"When, during pillow talk. Where, your cousin's house. Why, because Braeburn is a huge brute, and how, well let's just say I flattered him a little."
Rainbow has never really noticed, but dam, Rarity could be sneaky. And condescending. And pretty. And dangerous. All the things she looked for in the people she ended up liking. Or loving.
Rainbow stopped to consider it. Did she like Rarity? Was she actually starting to like the crazy BFF turned psycho romance addict pony? Yes, she liked smooth, conniving, and beautiful mares. And Rarity was all of those...
She tuned back into the conversation...
"Ah still can't believe he told ya!", AJ fumed.
"Well first love can be a very challenging thing," Rarity said mockingly batting her eyelashes.
"Aw, shut the buck up Rares!"
Rainbow felt a little flare of indignation rise up in herself. She was the one who called Rarity Rares. Her. Not Applejack. Not Shining Armor. Not even Celestia. Ooh, you're getting protective of her, aren't you?, she asked herself. Shut up, she told herself. She tuned back in again.
"Okay, okay.", Rarity said backing away a little. "I can see where you're coming from but an outburst of that proportion, should not go unnoticed. "
AJ just started to retreat back to a normal tone. "So it's sparklin cider ya want?"
"Well is it alcoholic darling?"
"Nope."
"Probably for the best."
"Yep."
What the buck did they mean, for the best? I mean, yeah, she didn't have the best, most clean track record, but still! I mean, that time she made out with Lyra! That was one time! And it wasn't even cider, it was Trodka. That doesn't change the fact that Bon Bon hated her guts, though.
But sometimes good things came out of drunk stupors!
Like when she made out with Applejack when they they were seeing who could take the most shots. Nope. Nevermind. That was a bad thing. Definitely a bad thing.
Or when she tried to climb Twilight's tree house using only her teeth. She had to go to the dentist's office the next day, and her coverup story was that she was brutally mauled by a bear on steroids, except only on the teeth. Fluttershy backed her up by saying that Harry the bear had been acting awfully different lately. That was also a bad thing.
But you know what? Her date with Rares was going to be the one time she didn't eff something up, or break something, or makeout with all of her friends. Like when she made out with Pinkie Pie, AJ, Twilight, and Fluttershy that one time. Huh. Oh wait, Rarity wasn't in that one. And it turns out she had a habit of making out with Applejack when they were drunk together.
Shit. Again.
She looked down again, forcing herself to abandon her train of thoughts. Applejack was turning around to get the non-alcoholic sparkly cider. She needed alcoholic cider. Sparkly or not. That Celestia Damned cider was what started this mess and it was what was going to be there if this Celestia Damned mess ended. So she swooped down, coming behind Rarity. Silently. She crept forward.
"Hey guys.", she said, casually.
Rarity shrieked.
Applejack just turned around calmly. "How long have ya been up there?", she asked, but she already knew the answer.
"Long enough to hear about how you guys think it's not a good idea to get alcoholic cider." Rainbow smirked.
"Rainbow ya know what happens when ya have alcohol!", AJ said, sighing.
"Yeah, but do enlighten us, mom.", Dash said.
Rainbow knew Rarity would definitely want to get hard cider after AJ let her know what happened when Rainbow drank hard cider.
Applejack glared. "Ya wanna hear what happens what happens when Rainbow drinks cider? Fine. So be it. Here it is. She gets lusty. I mean really lusty. Once she made out with Lyra. She has a bad track record. Got into several bar fights. "
"Rather that pony's penis than your delicate face." Rainbow said snorting.
Applejack ignored Rainbow's snide little cut, and continued to state all of Rainbow's drunk flaws for at least another minute.
"Well the good outweighs the bad, so bring us two packages of hard cider.", Rarity said after thinking for a moment.
"You've gotta be kiddin me!", AJ exclaimed. When neither of them took it back, she turned tail and stormed off.
And then Rarity knew that Rainbow got lusty when she drank cider.
"So you have a bad track record, yes?", Rarity asked, batting her eyes.
"Oh no Rares, I have a horrible track record.", Rainbow replied, flirting.
"Oh really. I suppose you jump from girl to girl like a frog in the Everfree forest.", Rarity baited.
"I may be a frog, but you're a cougar.", Rainbow said, smirking, not batting an eye.
"Touché.", Rarity said, making an approving sound in the back of her throat.
Applejack cleared her throat. "You two are making me sick and I'd rather not throw up in my dinner."
Rainbow didn't react, and simply took the packets of cider from the grumpy frumpy farm mare, said a quick ciao, and carried the crates back to town for Rarity. After a nice long talk, the crates were delivered, the date time was set, and Rainbow had finally understood why Rarity had stalked her.
Halfway through the walk back to the boutique, Rarity had said, "I like you. Okay I love you. It's just, that's why I kept following you. I couldn't lose you. I just couldn't. "
Rarity had stared at the ground, sniffling. It was then that Dash's protective instincts had kicked in, having her subconsciously put her wing out and pull Rarity closer with it.
They had walked the rest of the way in silence.
And when they reached Rarity's door, goodbyes were said, and both ponies exhaled a sigh.
Rarity slumped against her door in a very unladylike posture, ironic for a unicorn. And she breathed a sigh of relief.
Rainbow flew away at a leisurely pace, and breathed a sigh of confusion. For the love she might have, for her lack of nap time. For her sanity. And the rare flowers she knew she had to get Rares. There was one word that described her situation. And for once, it was not shit.
