“Oh no!” Daring Do cried. “I am trapped by this evil magician and literally the only way to free me is if a sexy rainbow maned pegasus makes out with a cute yet surprisingly intelligent librarian! If that doesn’t happen I will die! Forever!”
Rainbow Dash put down the book and stared at the words scrawled across the page, a frown creasing upon her brow. After what seemed like an eternity, she turned to her trusty friend Twilight Sparkle. “You know…” she muttered. “I think the writing of these books is going really downhill.”
Twilight fluttered her eyes up at Rainbow Dash as she lounged on. “Oh I don’t know Rainbow Dash…” she breathed, scooting slightly closer. “I think our weekly reading sessions are getting better and better!”
Shaking her head, Rainbow Dash prodded the open book in front of her. “C’mon Twilight, I mean at least the early Daring Do books were printed! These look like they were quickly hoofwritten! And instead of beautiful cover art there’s just crude stick figures!” She slammed the book shut to reveal the hastily scribbled cover of Daring Do And The You Might Be In Love With Your Best Friend which featured what could charitably be described as a drawing of a pegasus and unicorn bumping heads together. “You know, I’ve got a good mind to complain to the publishers about this lack of quality!”
“NO!” Twilight snatched the book back and started to hug it a bit too tightly. “I… it’s an early copy Dash, I don’t want anypony to get in trouble for me having it!” She gave her most beaming, genuine smile, and slowly her friend’s suspicious gaze abated.
“Right well…” Rainbow Dash looked up at the nearest clock. Nearly midday. She stifled a yawn. “I think it’s time for bed.”
“Yes! Yes!” Twilight leapt to her hooves with a look of giddy joy suddenly exploding across her face. “Oh Dash, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this! That is such a good, good idea!” Without looking back Twilight frantically bolted up the stairs.
Rainbow Dash stared after Twilight for a few moments. “Well,” she finally mumbled. “I guess Twilight was really really tired.” With that, Rainbow Dash shrugged and trotted nonchalantly outside into the midday sun.
***
“She’s not coming, is she?”
Twilight lounged back on her bed, her mane as crumpled as she was as she stared up at the ceiling. It had been nearly an hour since she had seen Rainbow Dash. An hour of eager anticipation that soon turned to puzzlement and then to despair as she realised she was going to be alone. “I guess I misunderstood everything again.”
Spike rolled his eyes in an exaggerated fashion as he waddled across the room to throw open the curtains, letting the early afternoon sun stream into the room and revealing the sight of a familiar pegasus in the distance, snoozing lazily on a cloud. “You think?” He gently lifted Twilight’s head to dust her pillow, and then let go, letting her head flop listlessly back.
Twilight stared at Rainbow Dash with wide, watery eyes. “She doesn’t love me, does she Spike? She’s never going to love me. Silly nerdy Twilight Sparkle.” A warm trickle started to tumble down her cheek. “Stupid silly Twilight Sparkle. A pony as wonderful as Rainbow Dash could never love me Spike! She’s so energetic! So talented! What do I have?” She let her forehooves sprawl across her duvet. “I’m just the Princess’s star pupil! I only–“
Her musings were interrupted by a cloth thrown at her face. “Stop wallowing in self-pity and just tell her!” Spike snapped, hauling Twilight to a half-sitting position in an attempt to spur her into motion. “You don’t need to keep pushing on at her with little hints which she’ll never get! Joining the Ponyville decathlon team didn’t help, though we don’t need to buy a wooden spoon ever again! Just be honest Twilight! You don’t need any potions or tricks or magic spells!”
“Yes, that’s it!” Twilight clapped her forehooves together, her eyes shining with excitement. “You’re a genius, Spike!”
Spike wiped his brow. “Thanks Twi, I knew you’d see sense.”
“…A magic spell!” Twilight continued, hopping down from her bed as she started to scurry amongst the piles of ancient manuscripts piled around her bed. “If Star Swirl won’t come to the mountain, the mountain must come to Star Swirl!”
Spike choked in a mixture of horror and confusion. “You’re… going to do what with who now?”
Twilight stared out of the window again, a soft sigh escaping her lips at the sight of the gently sleeping Rainbow Dash in the distance. “Every day Rainbow Dash goes to sleep on a cloud. What if, Spike, what if I was that cloud?” She grasped Spike hard by the shoulders, her face beaming with unrestrained enthusiasm. “Then we would be sleeping together in each other’s warm embrace. Oh, what bliss!” She drew Spike into a quick hug as if imagining he was Rainbow Dash. “And then, once we’re done, I’ll reveal myself and Rainbow Dash will realise she loved me all along!”
“I don’t know Twilight…” Spike sucked his bottom lip in, eyes rigid with fear. “This sounds like a really bad idea, but I can’t put my finger on why.”
“Don’t worry Spike, there’s absolutely no way this can go wrong!” Twilight gave a firm nod before continuing her search amongst her books. “Trust me!”
***
“Okay Spike, you know what you have to do?”
Spike gave a mute nod as he gripped the wand in his little claws, shaking slightly from nervous anticipation. Twilight had been a buzz of activity for the past twenty-four hours, rifling through what seemed like every book in the library at a breakneck speed, and creating a worrying amount of mess. He grimaced at the tip the library had become.
Twilight didn’t seem concerned at all as she perched proudly upon a stack of fallen books, peering periodically out of the window at the perfectly blue sky. “Okay Spike, it’s nearly midday. Any moment now Rainbow Dash will be flying about looking for a cloud, and I want to be that cloud! I’m going to cast a complex transmogrification spell on myself. I won’t be able to turn myself back, so once I’m done, I’ll float back down and you’ll tap me with that specially charged anti-magic wand. Got it?”
Spike clutched the wand to his chest as if a comfort blanket. “I… I guess Twilight…” he stuttered out. “But surely there’s a better way?”
“No Spike, this is it!” Twilight puffed out her chest. “This is how I’m going to get Rainbow Dash to love me! I’m going to be a Nympho Cumulous! No, I’m going to put the cu–”
“I’m going to have to stop you there Twilight.” Spike flinched. “No. Just… no.”
“Fine.” Twilight bristled as she raised her head. “Wish me luck!” With that, her horn flared into a cone of purple light which quickly exploded in a glittering shower, consuming her from view.
Spike flung one arm over his eyes to protect himself from the blazing lightshow. “Twilight!” he squeaked frantically as the very room began to shudder and shake. “Twilight!”
Without warning, the purple glow ceased and all was still. Spike nervously uncovered his eyes and gasped in shock. Where there was once a purple unicorn, there was now a fluffy white cloud, floating peacefully in the air. “Y-you did it! What’s it like?”
The cloud continued to bob up and down, silently.
“Oh. Right. Clouds can’t speak.” Spike looked at the wand in his claw, unsure of whether to tap Twilight with it now and stop the madness. He reluctantly decided against it – there was no telling the amount of resentment directed at him that might cause. It was better to make sure the only person Twilight had to blame was herself. From outside, a familiar rainbow streak caught Spike’s eye. “That’s your cue Twilight!” he exclaimed. “Go… get her!”
At that, the cloud slowly rose and floated through the library door. Spike shook his head. It was going to be a long day.
***
Twilight floated faster and faster out of the door. She had cast a rudimentary sensory spell to enable her to see and hear, but during her frantic rampage through the library she had not been able to find any spells which would allow a cloud to speak. It was probably for the best though, she did not want to accidently cry out in ecstasy and alert Rainbow Dash to her deception.
Nothing could have prepared her for the effects of the spell. She no longer felt solid – instead she felt a warm, fuzzy feeling, almost lightheaded as she drifted through the air, faster and faster. There was a liberating freeness to the experience; it wasn’t like her previous experiences with flying; she was no longer trying to force herself up into the air. Instead it was almost as if she was a part of the sky.
Twilight let herself go, sighing inwardly in contentment as she let herself roll lazily into the blue sky, climbing higher and higher as the wind drifted across her fluffy form. Though the magical haze which she had cast upon herself, she could keenly sense Rainbow Dash flying nearby. If Twilight still had a heart it would be racing with anticipating at this upcoming moment of bliss, but instead she merely pulsed happily, unfurling wispy fronds of cloud to look all the more inviting to Rainbow Dash.
Twilight would have given a squeal of utter delight as four perfect blue hooves touched down upon her, but thankfully she had no voice to speak with. It was Rainbow Dash, treading lightly on Twilight’s cloud body to get a comfortable place to rest before snuggling down.
Rainbow Dash’s body was soft and warm, Twilight almost lost herself in bliss at that moment, the perfect feeling of Rainbow Dash pressing against her, engulfed in an unknowing but loving hug. “Oh Rainbow Dash!” Twilight wanted to cry as she felt herself throbbing with uncontrolled joy at the very closeness of the wonderful pony.
Rainbow Dash’s head flopped into the cloud, and Twilight pressed her fluffy form to it in a loving nuzzle. She didn’t even mind when a trickle of drool spilled out of Rainbow Dash’s mouth. Together they drifted across the sky, Twilight gently rocking Rainbow Dash from side to side, tenderly brushing her wispy fronds across her belly. Once Rainbow Dash was settled, Twilight mused, she could move on to loving her friend even more tenderly. All she needed was time…
“Hey Rainbow Dash! You lazy ol’ pony! Snap to it!”
Rainbow Dash awoke with a start, blinking in confusion at the voice drawling at her from far below. She gave a scowl. Somehow she had floated over Sweet Apple Acres and gained the attention of the one pony who could never be happy to see Rainbow Dash get her well-deserved rest. “What do you want Applejack?” she shouted down, stamping on her cloud bed in annoyance.
Twilight gave a start as her blissful embrace was rudely interrupted with a hoof to her cloud-face.
Applejack shook a hoof up at Rainbow Dash. “Y’all bein’ lazy while us hard workin’ ponies are sweatin’ growin’ food for ya’ll! Be useful for once Dash, fill up this here water barrel with your cloud!” She pointed at an empty water barrel that sat next to a dilapidated outhouse.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. “Fine Applejack!” she exclaimed haughtily, “but you owe me one, right!” She grasped the sides of the cloud and started to manoeuvre it downwards. For some strange reason it seemed to want to float in the opposite direction as if it were struggling against her, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t one to be beaten by a cloud. Flaring up her wings, she started to beat out broad, powerful strokes as she pushed the cloud down towards the water barrel.
“No Rainbow Dash, no!” Twilight tried to scream out, but the lack of any lungs thwarted her attempts at warning her friend. Despite her attempts to escape, Rainbow Dash was just too strong a flier, and she found herself pulled down towards the ground. She quickly glanced about in the desperate hope that Spike was nearby, ready to leap out and save her.
Her hopes were in vain.
“This won’t take a moment Applejack! Fastest raincloud pony in the west!” Rainbow Dash positioned the cloud directly above the barrel, and planted her hooves firmly at each corner. “You’ve just got to know how to treat clouds right.” She gave a wink, and then began to leap up and down on the cloud at a dizzying pace. Almost immediately the cloud gave what sounded like a squeal of thunder, and a shower of water droplets began to tumble from it.
Twilight cried in confusion as she felt Rainbow Dash’s hooves pounding her very soul again and again. She felt even fuzzier, as parts of her body began to condense into rain and splash into the bucket, rending her in two. It was like the sensation of falling forever, intangible hooves desperately trying to grasp onto something but instead finding only the cruel stamping of Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash continued to tread on the cloud until it got smaller and smaller, its fluffy body compacting into rain until finally the last of the cloud-stuff vanished with a pop. Wiping her forehead, she gave a quick flourish in the air and landed on the ground next to the now-full water barrel, a grin on her face. “Bet you’ve never seen anything so fast!”
“Bet ah’ve never seen such a big show-off.” Applejack shook her head as she started to trot away. “Thanks Rainbow Dash, but next time, make sure the Weather Patrol keeps the barrels full in the first place. Ah’ve got a busy farm to run!”
As Applejack turned away, Rainbow Dash stuck her tongue out at her departing friend. “I don’t tell you how to do your job, don’t tell me how to do mine!” she mumbled under her breath, wiping her forehead again. “Whew, turning that cloud into rain sure was thirsty work, I bet Applejack won’t mind if I grab a quick drink!”
Twilight awoke with a start, suddenly slamming back into consciousness as if the brakes on a cart had suddenly been pulled. Fighting off the momentary disorientation she took stock of her surroundings. She was trapped; her body felt so sluggish and heavy, her thoughts sloshing around in her head. “I’m water!” she exclaimed internally, feeling around the sides of the barrel with her new aquatic form. There was no way to move or speak; she would be stuck until Spike came to rescue her.
She felt a shadow loom above her, a pair of blue lips leaning over the barrel and descending towards her. “Oh Rainbow Dash, you do love me!” Twilight tried to cry out as Rainbow Dash’s head bobbed into view, that perfect mouth ready to touch the surface of the water. “Yes, kiss me Rainbow Dash, kiss me!”
***
“Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Dash!” Spike finally waddled over the last hilltop, wheezing as he sought to catch his breath, clutching the wand as if his life depended on it. He had given chase as soon as Twilight had floated off with Rainbow Dash, but his tiny dragon legs had rendered him unable to catch up with the pair and he had been forced to watch from a distance as Twilight was turned into rain.
“Whatever you do, don’t touch the water in the barrel! It’s really Twilight Sparkle!” Spike half-leapt at the barrel, pushing the wand into its depths. Nothing happened. He peered into the barrel.
It was empty.
Rainbow Dash lounged besides the barrel, letting loose a loud burp as she patted her stomach guiltily. “I can’t believe what a thirst I worked up! What was that about Twilight?”
Spike stared at Rainbow Dash for a moment, and then shook his head. “Don’t worry. I think she’ll find the way out.”
