I...do?

by Dr Atlas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Romance, Changelings, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Pinkie Pie
Length: 4211

It's not every day the pony you made out with a year ago gets ponynapped, especially on the day you want to ask her 'the question.'

Doomie finds it very odd to see his siblings impersonate his marefriend's friends.
and, more importantly, why she's not around.

Author's (sad) Diary: Deeear diary...[Number sign here]Don'tForgetDoomie
Fic might contain season 6 final spoilerzzez too.

Published 2016-10-08 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-10 02:05:14 UTC

Bad...Beginning

Author's Note

I don't expect this to get much attention,
but I wanted some people to remember Doomie after what went down.
He's, like, one of the best fan made background characters out there!
and he deserves more love than he has...
R-Right?

Bad...Beginning

“Now let's see...one cup of flour...two cups of...batter? Or is it made out of batter, or am I making batter?”

Doomie continued flipping through the pages of the cookbook, unsure as to what he was cooking at this point. “Aw geez…” He stirred the bowl in his hooves with a whisk in hopes that it would help, but nothing inside it was mixing. “W-Was I supposed to add an egg or something?”

Doomie looked back at the book again as he added more ingredients with his magic. “H-how many...three? No, that’s, what if- Wait, what step am I-AH!” Doomie tripped on the mixture of ingredients he spilled on the floor and fell, the bowl landing on his head with a splat.

“Ugh...a whole year and I still can’t cook.” Doomie sat up and set the bowl on the table. Wiping off all the food that got on his head. “Come on now, Doomie, you’ve handled tons of stuff that’s harder than this! You helped Pinkie deal with that giant centaur...even if you did just watch…”

He stood on all fours and grabbed the cookbook. “You helped get her cutie mark back from that evil mare...who we ended up befriending, surprisingly.” He flipped through more pages, trying to find an easier recipe. “You even made friends with...him.” Doomie sneered.

The bug sighed and closed the book, having to let this out again. “I swear, Thorax gets way more attention the longer he sits in that empire.” He turned to the window, looking up at the night sky. “I bet he’s just loving it there; having all the ponies, who he doesn’t even know, be friends while I stay here with ponies who don’t even know my name!” Doomie blinked and turned away from the window, a pair of shadows dashing past it. “Then again, I can’t get the names of most ponies, but for queens sake! I at least try!”

Doomie sat down with a thump, something tumbling behind him, he didn’t notice until his ears flicked, making him turn around. “Oh for-” He grumbled to himself and reached up to the object that fell from behind him. “Pinkie really needs to teach me how to do this better...then again, if I talk about it...she’ll find out.”

He picked it up the small box and held it to his eyes, knowing what was inside. “I...I have to tell her...I-I gotta do it...I just wish I...I…” Doomie lightly hit his head with the box, knowing that he had tried to ask Pinkie about this box, but every attempt was shot down by something interrupting them or a more important things that were happening, ranging from meeting her relatives to taking part in lessons on pony society. “I wish I wasn’t such a loser…”

With a depressed sigh, he put the box behind his back. “If I can’t even make a cake...how can I ever ask her.” He grabbed the cookbook as well, knowing he’d have a mess to clean up tomorrow, but he was too sad to care at this point. “I’m just a wimp who can’t even get names right; who can’t even help because of his cowardliness; who can’t do anything right…”

Doomie looked down at himself, still seeing the same bug he was a year ago. "I haven't even changed one bit, how come Thor over there gets all sparkly wings while I sit here looking like a freak!" With another loud groan, Doomie set the book on the table and shut off the light, his head hung low as he exited the kitchen. “I’m never gonna be remembered, I’m just gonna be another bug who gets forgotten, another creature who no one will remember, another character who-”

*Ding*

A ringing bell interrupted him. He shot his head to the front door, but he saw no one there. “And you’re tired too, apparently.” He yawned, knowing it was late in the evening. “Maybe I can ask Pinkie help in cooking tomorrow...again.”

Doomie made his way to the stairs, not caring about the mess he made right now and more about his life. “What am I gonna do? I can’t cook; I can’t help sell pastries; I can’t throw parties; I can’t fight; I can’t do anything Pinkie wants me to do…” He turned the corner to the hall as Pinkie’s bedroom silently shut itself.

“I’m a noling...just a bug who doesn’t even get noticed anymore.” He sighed as he put his hoof on the door. “Just for once, I wish something cool would happen to me, m-maybe then I’d get some recognition in my life.” Doomie swung open the door, his eyes closed. “I’ll show everypony that Doomie can handle any situa-”

Doomie stood dead in his tracks the moment he opened his eyes, seeing two dark figures holding up a pony Doomie knew all too well. “W-Wu-What?” The second he uttered those words. The two of them dashed out the window, taking the sleeping mare with them. It took Doomie’s mind a bit to realize he just saw someone ponynap Pinkie. “Pa-PINKIE!” He ran up to the open window, prepared to stop whoever did this. “Y-You’re not taking-”

*THUNK*

Doomie hit the window hard, so hard that cracks formed and his head was in a daze. “Pah...Pinkie?” Was the last thing he said as he fell into the bed, the pain and tiredness forcing his eyes to close and his mind to go out like a light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning light shined through the window, hitting Doomie’s eyes and forcing him to wake up. As his eyes fluttered open, his mind went back into gear, knowing Pinkie was in danger. “Pinkie!” He jolted in the air and dashed to the window. “I-I’ll save...you?”

He stopped, realizing she wasn’t there, and that the window was shut, and that it was morning, not only that, but something else was making him question his actions. “W-Was it a dream?” Doomie turned to the empty bed. “If it was, then where is she?” He turned to the wide open door, knowing something was up.

He took his first step into the bright hallway, looking around and seeing that it was still empty. He continued walking until he hit the first step of the stairs. He took another, but was hesitant to keep going. “Something’s not right…”

Feeling worried, Doomie put on a disguise and walked downstairs, not knowing what to expect. As he hit the last step. He flinched as he heard a loud noise from the kitchen. “Pots hitting the floor? Pinkie’s always careful about that. “ He turned around and peered into the kitchen, seeing that the mess he made last night was still there. “She didn’t even clean it?” He looked further inside and gasped as he saw a poofy mane and tail on a pink pony going through the kitchen. “Pinkie?”

Pinkie yelped and turned around, very surprised to see a random pony. “Oh...u-uh, hi there pony. W-what are you doing here?”

“Pony?” Doomie thought. “Doesn’t she know this is my regular disguise when we go out?” He stepped inside, the shadows still over his face. “Uh, Pinkie, you okay?”

Pinkie walked closer to him, Doomie’s eyes going wide once he looked into her’s. “I’m just fine, what about you?”

“Wait…” Doomie looked right into her eyes, not seeing the mare he fell in love with. He was looking right into the eyes of a pony who wasn't the one he had spent half his life with, Doomie undisguised on the spot and snarled, a wave of anger washing over him. “Y-You’re not Pinkie!”

Pinkie stepped back. “Y-You’re not a pony?” Both stood still, none of them saying a word, Doomie had a feeling he just made the biggest mistake of his life doing this, but that was until Pinkie laughed. “Oh, oh my queen, y-you really had me going there.” Doomie watched in horror as his marefriend burst into green flames, changing into a creature he wished he would never see again. “Sup, bro.”

Thinking that he was apart of a plan, Doomie smiled and tried his hardest to play along. “Uh...s-sup, um...w-what are you doing here?”

His brother rolled his eyes. “What does it look like, I’m playing my part in being one of the elements.” He ran up to him. “And what have you been doing?”

“Uh…” Doomie thought fast. “Um...p-playing my part too?”

“As a random pony?” His brother said plainly.

Doomie shrugged. “W-Well, uh, a-a job is better than no job, right?”

The changeling facehoofed. “The Queen didn’t give any other ‘jobs’ besides disguising as, and only as, the ponies we ponynapped.”

Doomie blinked, having a hard time taking this information in. “Uh...r-right.”

“You okay?” His sibling stepped closer. “You need to act your part if you want to pull this off, and you don’t want to disappoint the queen, do you?”

Doomie started sweating. “O-Of course not. I-I would never try to betray my queen, w-what makes you think that?”

The bug backed up. “I didn’t say anything about betraying…”

Realizing it was only a matter of time until his cover was blown, Doomie glanced around the room in hopes there was something to help him out here, his eyes lit up once he spotted a pan that had fallen on the ground earlier.. “Uh...I-I mean, not helping, of course.”

The changeling eyed him. “What’s your name, bug?”

“M-My name?” Doomie started slowly walking around, his brother doing the same.

“Yeah, I haven’t seen you before, you look new. I can see it in your eyes. In fact…” Doomie’s brother sat down as Doomie stepped on the pan. “I don’t think Chrysalis assigned you this job!”

Doomie sighed, hoping he wouldn’t mess this up. “You’re right, she didn’t…”

The changeling snarled. “Then who are you!?”

“Who am I?" Doomie's eyes shot daggers into his brother. "I’m DOOMIE!” With a determined face, Doomie grabbed the handle of the pan and threw it right at his brother’s head, the bug standing dazed before falling to the floor. Doomie gasped. “O-Oh my gosh. I-I did it!” He clapped his hooves “I-I did something cool!”

With a smile on his face, he took hold of his brother’s legs and pulled him behind the counter, looking around the kitchen. “Let’s see, where did Pinkie put the..ah ha!” Doomie opened the top cupboard to find his most hated ingredient. “Sticky jelly.” He read off the label of the jar. “This stuff took forever to get out of my fins.” Smiling evilly, Doomie turned to his unconscious brother and poured the slimy substance on his hooves, sticking them to the floor. “Have fun getting up from that!” He raised his front hooves in the air and stood in the middle of the kitchen, never feeling so amazing. “Nothing can stop me now!”

“Hey, bro!” Doomie put his hooves down and craned his head outside the kitchen, seeing Rainbow Dash by the door. “How long are you gonna...why are you out of your disguise?”

Realizing he was now taking the roll of his now knocked out brother, Doomie disguised as Pinkie and put on a nervous smile. “Oh...uh, y-yeah, sorry about that.”

The disguised Dash flew up to him and smacked him upside the head. “You keep making mistakes like that and we’ll blow our cover, you understand!?”

Doomie rubbed his head, thankful he didn’t notice his other brother behind the counter. “C-Crystal clear...heh.”

Dash just glared at him and started walking out the door. “Come on now, we need to get the rest of us and talk to the queen?” He looked at him. "You got the rock, right?"

Doomie blinked. “U-Uh…G-Got what?”

He facehoofed. “Don’t tell me you lost it, now.”

Doomie glanced at his unconscious brother. “Uh...g-gimmy a sec!” He started rummaging through his brother until he found a strange black rock behind him. “Uh...g-got it?” He held it up to Dash, who nodded in response.

“Great, now, will you get a move on! They’re waiting!”

Doomie nodded and stuffed the rock behind his back, not sure what it was. He held his head high and made his way to the door. “Okay Doomie, you’re doing great, just remember what those classes taught ya and you’ll be fine...wait, didn’t you fail-”

“HELLOOOOOOO! Hive to bug? Do you read?”

Doomie shook his head out of it, shocked to see he was already at the front door. “Uh...s-sorry, j-just trying to act calm here...heh…”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder why Chrysalis chose you for this job, you don’t even remember half your training, and you have the reflexes of a sloth…” The changeling demonstrated this by reeling one of his hooves back, making Doomie yelp and flinch. He then socked him twice in the arm. “That’s two of flinchin’ dumb flank!” He then smacked his head and laughed, Doomie rubbing both his head and arm. “Keep up, will you!”

Doomie sighed and kept walking, knowing it was either this or never seeing Pinkie again. “Boy, I sure missed this when I was still at the hive…”

Horrible...Acting

“So, uh...c-can ya catch me up to speed here, I’m...uh, kinda-”

“Stupid!” Doomie’s brother finished, smacking him upside the head again. “You have such a one track mind, ya know that? For once can you follow directions and try to be good at what you do?”

Doomie rubbed his head, finding it hard to do this, but he kept telling himself that it was for Pinkie. “O-Okay...what are the directions?”

With a deadpan glare, Disguised Dash pointed ahead. “We need to group up with the others and get in contact with the queen.”

“Why?”

“So we can tell her how good of a job we’re doing...and by we, I mean everyling but you!” He poked Doomie in his chest.

“H-Hey! I can do a good job!” Doomie said with half confidence.

“Oh really?” Disguised Dash sighed and continued walking. “I doubt you ca...Oh no…”

“W-What do you mean ‘oh no’?”

Disguised Dash pulled him closer and pointed ahead. “It’s that one mare.”

“W-Who?” Doomie’s eyes followed where he was pointing and saw Starlight Glimmer walking next to another mare who was pulling a waggon. “Oh, Storklight Shimmer? You guys didn’t take her?”

Disguised Dash shrugged. “Eh, the queen didn’t really find her that important, I thought she explained this in the debriefing.” He eyed him. “Don’t tell me you fell asleep during it!”

“W-Well, I-” Doomie’s brother put a hoof in his mouth before he could continue.

“Here, since you think you’re the great undercover ling, how about you go talk to her.”

“M-ME!?” Doomie knew he couldn’t keep it together if he was talking to her of all ponies, knowing that he couldn’t resist telling her everything that was happening right now. “B-But she’s, like, n-not even that important!”

“Are you saying you’re too much of a wimp to talk to a pony?”

Doomie jaw dropped, never wanting to hear that word in his life again. “I-I'm not a wimp!”

Dash smiled. "Then prove it!" With that, he shoved Doomie out into the open and took off into the air. Doomie stood still for a few moments before realizing he had to act like Pinkie. He went into character by pronking around, hoping he was doing this right, eventually, he came up to Starlight and stopped.

“Hey Pinkie!”

Doomie froze, he wasn’t sure how to respond to this, he was starting to have flashbacks to acting 302, where he was the laughing stock of the class. “Hey...You!”

She stepped closer, Doomie trying his best to stop shaking. “So...you’re probably wondering why I’m back so soon.”

Doomie blinked, having no idea what she was talking about. “Where were you?”

Starlight raised an eye, making Doomie’s heart rate hit the roof. “I...went to my old village? For the festival?”

Doomie’s mind ran all over the place, at that moment, the thought of something Pinkie would say. “Oh, sounds fun! How was it?” He smiled, but he knew it wasn't working.

Starlight frowned. “It was kind of a disaster. I came back early because I freaked out!”

Doomie couldn’t take it anymore, he knew he was going to spill it if she said anymore, so, with a deep breath, he yelled, “Oh! Sounds awful! BYE!” He then dashed off, leaving Starlight to herself to question her friend’s way of talking.

Once Doomie was out of her line of sight, he breathed in and out as fast as he could, trying to get a hold of himself. “Hah...ho...holly queen...I..I can’t believe-”

*SMACK*

Doomie held his head after his brother hit him again. “What. Was. THAT!? You almost blew your cover!”

Doomie gulped. “I-I was trying my best.”

“And your best obviously isn’t good enough!” Disguised Dash sighed. “Just...just get out of here and stay hidden until nighttime, okay? We’ll handle the rest of it.”

“But-”

“No buts!” Dash would’ve smacked him again, but his hoof was starting to get tired of it. “Just stay out of the way and meet us at the castle tonight, and for queen’s sake, try not to screw up.” With that, he left, leaving Doomie to himself again.

He sighed, knowing that this wasn’t going to be good, the only thing he could hope for was that he would come up with a plan to stop this. “Oh, that’s a good one Doomie:” He said sarcastically. “You coming up with a plan...I’m sure that’ll happen…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You should’ve seen him, he just sat there talking to her going ‘der, ima pinkie pie, I like parties and bleh bleh bleh!’”

Doomie cringed as all his disguised brothers at the table laughed, feeling like he was back at the hive again. After it died down Doomie tried to defend himself. “L-Look, it was hard, okay?”

“Sure it was…” Dash said, looking at his hooves. “You know, I find it kinda surprising the queen hired you for this if you can’t even stay in character.”

Doomie glared at him. “Oh sure, like I didn’t stay in character. One of us said things Twerklight would never say to her.”

Disguised Applejack rolled his eyes. “How would you know how the princess acts?”

Realizing that remark might have just caused him his cover, he gulped. “I-I...uh, d-dunno.”

Disguised Rarity laughed. “Yeah, of course you don’t. Stupid bug...” He shook his head “How about you cut the act and tell the truth already.”

Doomie’s heart skipped a beat. “Th-The truth?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with you?” Spike asked. “You act like this is your first day on the job, like you don’t belong here, like everything you do you think you’ll screw up. You know who we call bugs who act like you?”

Doomie started shaking, having a feeling that his cover was going to be blown right here and now. “Uh...w-what?”

Spike leapt onto the table and went face to face with the quivering changeling. “We call them Dummy Doomie.”

Doomie was both relieved to hear that they didn’t call him a traitor, but was concerned to hear his name. “W-what?”

A round of laughter started. “O-Oh my queen!” Fake Fluttershy said. “How could I forget about that screw up!”

“Yeah, that bug has got to be the worst changeling I’ve ever seen!” Fake Rarity almost fell out of his chair from laughing

“I’m honestly not surprised he got lost after that blast, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him laying on the side of a tree in the forest starved out of his mind!” Fake Applejack pounded the table, unable to control his laughter.

Doomie’s jaw dropped as more rude remarks were made. He eventually flopped his ears and tuned out the noise, looking down in shame. “I-Is that really what they called me…’Dummy Doomie’ That isn’t even that catchy!”

“Is that what you are?” Doomie snapped back into the world to see all of his brothers looking at him. “A Dummy Doomie?”

Doomie held back the tears and fright, never thinking he’d be remembered like that. “Uh...n-no.”

Fake Spike just shook his head. “Yeah, you keep tellin’ yourself that, dumbflank!” Doomie received another smack on the head and was subjected to another round of laughter from his brothers.

Doomie was about to speak up again, but a purple alicorn stepped inside before he could. She smiled and sat down at the table. “Is it ready?”

“Just one more.” All brothers turned to Doomie, who was staring off into space. “Ahem!”

The bug snapped out of it and looked back at them. “What?” He then looked at the strange stones on the table not noticing them before. His mind rang a bell, realizing what he was supposed to do. “OH, uh, r-right, heh.” He pulled out his own stone and pushed the rock in place until it was aligned with the others, in an instant, it opened and shot out green energy to the next one, the other three doing the same. Doomie yelped at this while the others smiled evilly.

Before long, a circular image appeared, bearing a face that made Doomie drop his jaw, never thinking he would see her again. “Q-Queen Chrysalis…” He whispered as his ears flicked, thinking he heard someone else say these words as well.

“Ugh…” The queen said. “I can’t take any of you seriously when you look like that!”

“Oh, right.” Doomie flinched and immediately undisguised, same with the others.

“Much better. Now report!”

Doomie shook and quivered as one of his brothers explained the situation. His thoughts ran wild the more he sat around them, knowing exactly what was going on. He snapped back into reality once he heard an evil laugh, where he managed to join in on regretfully. “We thought too small last time!” His queen continued. “One ponynapped princess wasn’t enough. With all of the most beloved ponies of Equestria taken care of, nopony can stop us!”

More laughter came, Doomie could only do half before trailing off, having a difficult time hearing all of this. Before long, the communication between his queen and them finally shut off and the bugs did another round of laughter. Doomie eventually stopped and looked away, not wanting to deal with any of this anymore. As he did, something caught his eye. It was over by the door that he noticed two pairs of eyes peering through, Doomie squinted in an attempt to see who it was, but a creaking noise interrupted him, all his brothers hissing at the door seconds later.

Doomie looked at them as they got off the table and disguised again, going out the door and figuring out where that noise came from. He soon followed and flashed into Pinkie again, being the last to go out. He looked around the main hall, seeing Fake Twilight looking around, sniffing the air. He looked at Doomie. “Hey! Can you at least try to find out where that came from!”

Doomie nodded weakly, walking around the room as his brother tried finding a scent, he eventually left, leaving Doomie to himself. “Ugh...was the hive really this bad, or did it just get worse over the past-”

*GASP*

Doomie’s ears lit up and his head turned to where the noise came from, only to see nothing. He would’ve been more concerned if he wasn’t so depressed at this moment. He shook his head and walked back into the room, looking at Pinkie’s seat. “Oh...Pinkie. My sweet, sweet pie.” He rested his head against it, wanting to see her again.

He ended up taking a seat and breathed in and out, trying to control his heart rate.. “Okay, Doomie, calm down. Staying calm is what you need to do right now, e-even though they ponynapped the princesses, and the elements, and that couple in that crystal city, y-you just need to stay calm and...and…”

Doomie smacked his head on the table. “Listen to yourself, you bugbrain! You know this is hopeless. She won! She has every single important pony that can take her out!” He got up and started walking to the door, wanting to get some air. “I-I can’t believe this. Chrysalis is actually going to win. The changelings are gonna take over...and I’ll never see her again…” Doomie dug his head in one of his hooves, starting to lose hope.

“And the saddest part is that there’s nothing you can do...you’re just one bug! You can’t take on an army. Even if you had your own you wouldn't…” Doomie stopped walking and slowly raised his head up. “Y-You wouldn’t…” He looked ahead to see the door leading outside, his brain working for once in his life. “N-No, you would!” He reeled his hooves back and ran out the door, a plan forming in his mind. “She might have those ponies...but not all of them!”

With a plan in his head and his heart as determined as ever, he undisguised and flapped his wings, preparing to head to his first stop. “I’m coming for you, Pinkie!”