The Diary of Diddy Discord

Dear Diary,

I did it. It was me. Nocturn didn’t even do it—it was me. It’s my entire fault. And what’s worse is I know I did it. Everypony knows it was me—Blankety- knew- it- was – me.

I made Loony and Cedar cry. I made Tia cry. And now I can’t stop crying because it’s all my fault. It’s all my fault Diary. I should have never got angry—I should have stayed calm and told Nocturn what I thought of him. I definitely shouldn’t have used my magic—now, there’s nothing I can do to make it all right.

Nopony’s ever going to trust me or be my friend ever again. I’m—I’m a monster—a discord.

I’m a More Dread.

I admit it. Nocturn was right all along—I must’ve killed my Father. I destroy everything I touch. Who would want to be around an ugly little creature like me? Everything was so much better when we were just a pack of friends having fun and playing games. Even our own world couldn’t protect anypony from me and what I could do.

Blankety—

Why did you get in the way? Why did you decide to come and see me just then when I was angry and stupid?
No. No. It’s not your fault Blankety; it’s definitely all mine. I should go to your funeral when it happens. I know I should, but I can’t. If I go I could hurt you even more. Honestly though Blankety I never thought in my wildest dreams that my magic could do that—I never thought it could kill. I wasn’t even trying to kill Nocturn—let alone you. So why did it happen?

Maybe—maybe I’m worse than that monster Shadow’s Mommy looked after. Perhaps she was the one who shot you without me realising. Oh please, please let it not be me who hurt you so badly. Let me not be the one who destroyed you. You didn’t deserve to go—you were my friend.

And you always will be. You and me Blankety—in our Chaos capital. You sit on your throne ruling over as the King and me your Lord of Chaos—I’ll protect you through everything. No matter who comes to hurt you I’ll knock them down. I promise, I’ll always be there to help and protect you.

But- But you’re not here anymore and I don’t know what to do. I just can’t believe you’re gone. Nocturn should have stayed still; he shouldn’t have jumped out of the way of my blast. If he hadn’t you wouldn’t have walked up behind him and be hit instead.

You came to give me a present. You’d bought me a drawing of you, me and Shadow on a pane of glass like the one’s in the palace that show Equestrian heroes. Me? A hero? I can’t ever be that anymore. My Daddy was right—I’m a monster.
Mother was right—I’m a beast.

My old teacher was right—I’m a discord.

If I hadn’t been born then nothing bad would have happened to any of you. And now I’m too scared to come out of this room and see you.

The Knights had to pin me down and tie me up. They couldn’t risk me killing anypony else. I was locked in this room in the Palace—but it won’t be for long. Alicorn has been called over. Soon he’ll be in here and he’ll decide what’s going to happen to me. I don’t want to know—I don’t want to go.

I want to rewind all of this back to when we went camping.

Look! There’s Blankety eating all of the smores and holding Lady Blankety in his hooves. He looks so happy. I’ve never seen him so happy to be with other ponies before. Tia and Galloway are laughing in the corner at something Gallophad has said—Tia’s probably doing it to be polite, she doesn’t find Gallophad very funny at all. Gallows maybe likes the joke though—he always did like ‘knight’ humour.

Miamore’s with one of his mare-friend’s again. It looks like he’s finally found the mare of his dreams. Strange. Miamore liked going out with lots of mares—why does he suddenly want to tie himself down to just one? And wait—isn’t that Marelin and Sir Shimmer nearby to them? Are they kissing? Yuck. Who would want to see something like that?
Ah but it’s okay. Loony’s here too, playing with Cedar as if she loved him with all of her heart. They’re so happy together. Shadow’s here too, playing alongside them, practicing flight moves just above the crowd of joyous ponies.

Mommy and Uncle La Lo are singing along to a guitar. Uncle Alicorn and the Queen are there too, humming along to the tune. They love being together. They’re both really happy couples.

And is that... is that Daddy? Singing his lullaby and holding out his hooves to me? He wants me to come over to him—but I want to stay here—in my Capital, where everypony is happy. Maybe if everypony wished hard enough it could all become real.

Blankety would still be here.

I wouldn’t have done what I did.

Everything would be all okay.

SING ALONG ALREADY PONIES. SING MY LULLABY.

Have fun—smile. There’s no point in crying or being boring. If we all play—we should all play forever. What fun is there in making sense? The more we make sense the more things hurt us. We can avoid it if we stop and just have fun instead.

WE SHOULD STOP.

We should stop and do what we want.

Stop being so boring Tia. Don’t cry. Ignore Nocturn. Be my friend and have fun again. Please—please.
I need you to smile. I need everypony to smile. Please. Please.

Blankety—come back to life. Tell them to smile. I need them to smile. STOP BEING SO GRAY.

Uncle Alicorn help. Take me back to our world. I should have stayed there all along. Coming back was a stupid idea. I should have never come back.

Please; please. Just smile.

All I really need’s a smile. Smile—smile, from happy friends of mine. SMILE.