UnHappy Pony

by The_Machinist

Happy Pony.

Load Full Story

It was a happy day in Canterlot, after all who couldn’t be happy on this beautiful and wondrous day. Ponies strode about the streets, all of them bearing happy faces, saying hello to one another as they went about their days. Hooves rose into the air as two ponies waved to each other, once again happy to be in the company of another. Some ponies went into stores while others crept into or out of their homes. Many ponies gathered about the fountain. Most ponies were off resupplying on food and other necessities, and so traffic seemed to be at an all time high in the bustling victorian city.

Happy Trot looked down from the third floor within his office at the state editorial building. He smiled as ponies walked to and fro. Turning around, he hopped back onto his purple plush pillow to sit on. He slammed his hoof down on a button labeled ‘next’. And an unedited newspaper was displayed behind the glass before him. His machine, called the ‘Redactor’, does exactly what everypony thought it did, it simply blanked out text that the common pony didn’t need to see, himself included.

The paper was clear as day before him, the headline standing out proudly as Happy Trot read it to himself, an old article from twenty-five years ago that had yet to be redacted “Ponyville Pegasus who calls herself ‘Scootaloo’ wins last young flier championship, says she takes inspiration from her old inspiration, Rainbow Da- Oh my.” He stopped reading and flipped through a book labeled ‘Rules’. “This won’t do, this won’t do at all.” The pony muttered to himself as he fiddled with his machine, and slid the lever labeled ‘denied’. “Nopony can be better than anypony else. We’re all equal, and we’re happy that way.”

The pony’s smile twitched as he cycled to the next unedited editorial. Once again reading the headline to himself and looking at the picture. “Local Canterlot Unicorn brothers win scrap collecting contest, authorities praise the two for helping in the war effort against Griffonia…” Looking at the picture, Happy Trot found his vision straining. He knew one of those stallions in the photograph, one of the brothers. Finding his smile disappearing into a worried frown as he struggled to remember, he placed a hoof against the glass of the machine, staring deep into the black and white caricatured eyes of the unicorn. He knew him, from the war.

Leaning backwards, he shouted as he nearly toppled over. The stress getting to him. His magic grasped a pill bottle on the desk, and he frantically shook one out, a bright pink pill falling to the desk and onto the floor. Growing more frustrated, he crushed the pill bottle in his magical grasp. He knew he should take the pill, but conformity be damned, he wished things were like how they used to be, before the war.

SLAM

The Unicorn jolted upright in his seat, and turned to face the mare who had barged her way in. Recognizing the other unicorn as his boss, he swiftly made it look like he was working again, and thoughtlessly approved the editorial before him.

“Now now, what’s all this shouting about? Did you bonk your head perhaps? Or…” the mare didn’t finish, her attention turning to the pill that had fallen off of his desk. Picking it up in her magical grasp, she thrust it in front of Happy Trot’s face. The stallion getting more nervous by the second. “Are you off your JOY again Happy Trot?” The mare scrutinized him, her cheerful face scrutinizing him, it unnerved him to the core, but he did his best to keep a straight smiling face.

“I shouldn’t think so ma’am. I would never forget something so i-important!” He stuttered out. “when you’re feeling down, take in a bit of joy into your life.” He repeated the advertisement. That had been projected onto the populace for decades.

“That’s my Happy Trot, alright, finish what you’re doin’ there and meet me in the hall! It’s somepony’s birthday party after all!” The mare giggled and walked out of his room.

Happy Trot was already finished for the day, so he simply got up and walked out the door, following the mare. He found himself being lead to what looked like a table with a pinata on it. Several foals were beating it with sticks, all seemingly content and cheerful.

“Happy Trot! So glad you could make it, you almost missed the pinata!” His boss shouted cheerfully, thrusting a broomstick into his view. Making him jump back a bit. “What’s got you so nervous lately? Take a swing already! Got to embrace the Marexican tradition after all!”

The mare sat there happily as the unicorn took the broomstick from her in his magical grasp. “Alright Trotty. Give it the old swing, eh?” He laughed to himself, only slightly concerned about the situation. Giving the stick a mighty downwards swing, the pinata… Exploded? Oh by Celestia! It wasn’t a pinata at all!

His boss and the foals all cheered for the pony who had burst the pinata, and collected the candy that had come out. Happy Trot was mortified however, he stared at his blood covered hooves. “T-that wasn’t a pinata at all! Bloody hell…” He gagged and threw up as the others in front of him ate their blood and guts covered prize.

His boss looked to her side to see the mortified Happy Trot, and quickly made over to him. “Happy Trot, what’s the matter, are you- Oh no, oh no no no. We’ve got a DOWNER! Security, call security!” She shouted, bringing Happy Trot out of his daze.

Happy Trot sprang into action, seeing the masked security ponies coming into view. Their masks looked frighteningly like the old theater masks from thousands of years ago, comedy if he was correct. Plastic masks and badges these ponies bore as they chased after him, and he ran, keeping the broomstick in his magical grasp.

“Stop right there, Downer!” Shouted a security guard to his side, as he tried to swing at him with a large wooden baton. Though Happy Trot managed to dodge. Sniffling and yelling at the guards.
“I’m not a downer! You’re all just crazy!”

He quickly spun around and went to knock out one of the guards but his lack of combat experience and delayed reactions only made the situation more gruesome, as the security pony found himself impaled on the somehow sharpened broomstick. Happy Trot stared in horror, as the other two security ponies looked down at their fallen co-worker, and then back at the ‘downer’.

“Bloody downers!” One shouted as it tried to club Happy Trot over the head, but the unicorn pony decided he had enough of this.

“Buck me, I have to get out of here!” The pony shouted as he lurched forward, hurling himself out the window and out into the marketplace below. Happy Trot thought he was a goner, but the thick fabric of the market tents broke his fall, and a few other valuables, but those were far from the unicorns mind. As he got up and looked around at the ponies staring at him.

Some came to help him, but the moment they saw his face they knew something was wrong. Their suspicions were only confirmed as the happy looking security guard popped his face out the window above, and pointed at the distraught pony. “He’s a downer! Get him!”

The chants began from the crowd surrounding him. “Take your joy. Take your joy. Take your joy. Take your joy.” Their incessant chanting was driving him mad. He sprang up, trying to wiggle his way out of the crowd, but finally he had enough, and bucked the nearest pony that was blocking him. The crowd gasped, and one mare fainted, as they all stared at him with mixed emotions.

Happy Trot wanted to die then and there, but his instincts wouldn’t allow that as his hooves ran for him, galloping down the streets of Canterlot, he just wanted to get out of this town. Tearing down an alleyway, his wish suddenly came true as a powerful magical surge overtook his horn, sending him off to Celestia knows where. The crowd behind him moved on, not knowing that Happy Trot had disappeared from the world completely.

The unicorn stallion screamed in the void, until he was suddenly dropped off very far from Canterlot. Happy Trot found himself in a dark alleyway, much like the one back in Canterlot, though there was much more to illuminate the seemingly darkened sky. He scrambled upright, and checked his vest pockets to see if he still had his items with him. A full bottle of joy, and a small flashlight. He genuinely smiled to himself when he found the flashlight, and smacked it against a brick wall with an azure glow from his telekinesis. The flashlight flickered to life, shining a bright beam of light down the dark alley.

The two buildings next to him were unusually old looking, even by his standards. With hay roofs and plain wooden walls, though one was brick, he could see that just by looking outside the alleyway he was in a very old town. No electric lights were lit up, and no curfew guards patrolled in the dark. In fact it seemed like the town was completely off the radar of the state. Those joyful bastards needn’t to poison this town yet anyways. He watched the local ponies walk up and down the cobblstone streets, laughing and cheerful.

“But why… Why here?” Happy Trot muttered to himself.

“Why where mister?” Spoke a feminine voice behind him.

Happy Trot screamed and bolted forward. Wanting to get away from the unknown assailant.

“H-hey! Wait! I only wanna talk!” The voice shouted after him.

Happy Trot stopped, and turned around. He found himself stupefied at what he was looking at. An orange and purple filly… Didn’t he see somepony like this before?

He shook his head, smiling widely, trying to appear normal. “What’s your name little filly? You shouldn’t talk to strangers at night.”

The filly giggled, putting a hoof over her mouth. “Silly pony! Mimes aren’t supposed to talk, you’re bad at dressing up for Nightmare Night!”

His smile dropped, his mask mimicking his facial expression. Nightmare Night? That was abolished…

“My name’s Scootaloo by the way, what’s yours?”

Scootaloo… He knew that name.

“H-hello Scootaloo, my name’s Happy Trot.”

The orange and purple filly cocked her head to the side. “Is something wrong? You don’t sound too happy.”

Alarm bells rang in his head, he couldn’t hurt the poor pegasus filly, but he also couldn’t let her find out he was off his joy. “No! No, everything is fine. Been taking my joy alright yep, haha!”

Scootaloo seemed to only be more confused. “What’s joy? You can’t take an emotion, silly!”

Excited shouting drew her attention, and Happy Trot’s as well. He noticed two other fillies coming their way. One of them was colored red and yellow, an earth pony. The other was another little unicorn filly, pink and white. The trio of fillies seemed to be friends, and Happy Trot watched as Scootaloo raced over to meet them, but he was once again mortified when she brought the two fillies back to where he was.

“Girls, this is Happy Trot! I think he’s lost, so why don’t we help him out?” The fillies nodded and took a deep breath in.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PATHFINDERS YAY!” Shouted the trio, all laughing at the end.

“Don’t you worry Mister Happy trot! My name’s Applebloom and this right ‘ere is Sweetie Bell! We’re gonna get you to Princess Twilight, maybe she can help you out!” The farm pony smiled at the stunned unicorn.

He remembered now. The news article is where he saw Scootaloo’s name. A news article from 25 years ago that depicted a teenage pegasus. Here was the very same pegasus, only she was about ten. Happy Trot sat there, stunned. He had somehow made it thirty years into the past. It all made sense now.

“Y-you kids are fine. I can find myself around just alright thank you very much, t-take this though! Happy Nightmare Night!” He passed the children three joy pills, they looked remarkably like candy, and it made for a good distraction as he bolted down the alleyway, and shot into the bustling street on one of the most busy nights of the year for the little town.

Ponies in costumes walked up and down the main street, while Happy Trot just wanted to find somepony with information. As he walked down the street, he couldn’t help but find the comments ponies were making about him irritating.

“Such an odd looking mime, and look at that coat!”

“Is that candy?”

“He’s not a very happy mime.”

“It looks like he’s injured.”

Soon, he found himself to be the center of attention was again. His style of dressing too odd, even for Nightmare Night. His mask, coat, and bowler hat were all that he wore. Not counting the watch that was wrapped around his forehoof, that bore the mark of Starlight Glimmer, one of the highest authorities of the State. He found it harder and harder to push through ponies, a crowd almost forming around him to admire his ‘costume’.

“Such an interesting looking mime.”

That did it.

“I’m not a bucking mime!” Screamed Happy Trot. His vision strained once more, he needed joy. He absolutely needed it! A few ponies left, but many wanted to look at him. He was an oddity in their world. Happy Trot’s magical grip wavered on the bottle of joy that slid it's way out the coat pocket, grasped in a flickering azure glow. He unscrewed the cap of the bottle and took a pill, suddenly finding himself at ease.

He forgot what he was stressed about, and lazily pushed his way through the crowd of ponies. He was a little tired, but at least he was happy.