For My Son

by Cobra 1

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Original Character, Tragedy, Adventure, Human, Main 6
Length: 5714

My son was a Brony, now I'm in Equestria.

Hello, I'm James and I'm in Equestria, how I got here I don't know. What's worse I'm a pony, just like in those stories my son read. I just wish I could see my son again...

Rated Teen for Violence and Language.
----
Indefinite Haitus. Probably over because of changes to characters over the last few years.

Published 2012-08-18 00:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-25 00:06:27 UTC

The Reveal

"Dad?!" Asked my son, Jacob.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Um... I am a Brony."

I turned and said "What?!" I had heard of them before and I couldn't believe that my own son was a Brony. I was furious to say the least.

"I'm sorry, I didn't say anything. The kids at school make fun of me because of it."

My mood changed after hearing this. I decided to not make a big deal of this.

"It's okay, son." I said. We always had a connection, we both loved video games; we would play Mortal Kombat together and Super Smash Bros.

I decided to change the subject. "Son, let's play some Brawl."

"Okay... Dad I love you."

"I love you too."

One Year Earlier

*Ring Ring*

I move to pick up the phone. "Hello? This is James."

"I don't know how to tell you this, Jessica is dead." It's my friend Eric. I drop the phone and rush to my son, he was there the whole time. As I approach he moves to the living room and starts crying. I can't hold back the tears. I pull my son in for a hug. That night we slept in the living room.

"Dad?" My son asked, breaking me from my memories. "What character are you going to be?"

"Sonic, and how about you?"

"Sonic."

"What, that is who I am."

"He is like Rainbow Dash."

"Rainbow Dash? Who is that?"

"She's one of the ponies." Oh no that is why he picked Sonic. Well we had fun was all that mattered...

One Month Later

I was on my way home when something caught my attention. A car that looked like my son's, in fact it was my sons car, was... oh no. I immediately stopped.

"Out of my way that is my son."

"Sir we took your son to the hospital, follow me." Said an officer.

When we made it there, I was escorted to the room where my son was at. He looked terrible.

"Hey, dad." He said in a weak voice. I could tell he didn't have long to live.

"I'm here, son." I couldn't stop a tear from rolling down my face. The next thing he said caught me completely off guard.

"Will you live with me in Equestria when you die?" I couldn't turn it down, I didn't want to be remembered like that.

"Sure son. I will be with you."

"I love you... dad."

"I love you too, son." As the words leave my mouth, the EKG flatlined. I turned away and cried like I did when the news that my wife was killed, only this time I was all alone. I stayed there for about a half-hour before I was finally forced to leave.

Later that night I went home and did something I thought I would never do, looked on my sons computer and looked at his pony sites.

His homepage had some music, it was Ace Combat. We both loved those games. I looked at the things called fanfiction. I knew what this was, but I couldn't believe how much there was for the show. There was one genre that there seemed to be more of than any other was 'Human in Equestria'.

'Why the hell would one waste their time writing about being in a world that is from a little girls show?' I thought to myself. To further increase this strange thing was that most of them had the main character transformed into a pony.

After reading a few of the fics, ranging from god awful to pretty good, I moved on to his bookmarks for the show. When I saw the creator's name I couldn't believe it, Lauren Faust. Me and Jacob watched Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends together all the time. Further blowing my mind was some of the voice actors: Tara Strong and John de Lancie really stood out to me. Just as I was about to close out of the site, something strange occurred. The video lit up and... I can't explain it, it was as if a portal opened up and it sucked me in. It was too similiar to those damned stories.

I woke up in the middle of a field, but it was too colorful. Everything around me was too colorful. It was a cartoon-like style. I got up to my feet to find out what happend and check for wounds. I had none. I then spotted a city... settlement, whatever, in the distance and dicided that it was a good place to get some answers. Mainly where I was.

But then, as I started walking I felt a burning pain in my stomach. Then as soon as it started the pain subsided.

I soon came across a lake and it looked alright to drink from. As I reached down to get some water, I saw that my ears had moved and were horses ears. On top of this I noticed that my hair was longer and looked like a horses mane, the color was wrong as well; instead of my normal brown, it was now crimson with cream colored stripes. The coloring was fine, reminding me of the Oklahoma Sooners school colors (Jacob and I would often go see the football and baseball games), but it was a mane.

"What the hell is going on." was all I could manage to get out as another stroke of pain tore through me. My legs were getting shorter and my hands were fusing together. As this was happening my head was becoming more equine shaped. My torso was also becoming equine. Also more pain struck me as I felt something coming out of my back. I looked behind me to see a pair of wings. As my body finished its transformation I could see a tail, the same color as the mane, coming from my ass.

I was now a pony. I was given my answer right there, I was in Equestria. It was the only explanation: the pony form, the cartoon look, the wings; it all amounted to my being in Equestria. This is where my son wanted me to be.

Learning and Memories

A/N: I have decided that Live Life by Crush 40 will be the "theme" for this fic.

After a minute or two of shock and horror, I remembered I was wearing a hat. Between landing in a new place and the shock of transformation I had forgotten about it.

Next problem that arose was walking. I tried to stand up but immediately fell back on my rump. After ten to twenty minutes of attempting to get up I finally did it, now to walk forward. I took a step and then fell right on my face. It took a few times but I finally learned how to walk with four legs.

"Now to find my hat." I found it right were I landed in the field. I went to pick it up and, forgetting I had hooves now, reached for it only to fail. I tried again and again, but damn hooves wouldn't hold objects.

"How the hell do they do that?" I asked myself in frustration. They made picking things up look so easy in their show. Giving up I just decided to pick it up with my mouth.

Now it was off to that town.

I arrived in the town about a half-hour later, hat still in mouth. There were ponies, many different colors, everywhere. As I continued through the town I bumped into a pink pony.

'Wait,' I thought. 'pink pony. Oh god NO! Not her.' She turned and looked at me for a second before she spouted off into a long speech.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie and you must be a new pony, because I know every pony in Ponyville..." As she continued on with her speech, her excited, youthful attitude reminded me of one of the pilots I flew with.

"Hello, sir are you Captain James?" Asked the new recruit.

"Yes and who are you?" I asked, as I turned to face him.

"Sir, I am Eddie Bong, I am a new pilot and I have heard a lot about this squadron. I also-"

"Alright, that is all good Eddie." I interrupted, this guy was going to get himself killed if he talked so much. Either by the enemy or someone in the squadron.

"Sir, I am ready for any action the enemy can throw at us." He was very confident. I liked this kid and his willingness.

"And the party will have streamers and-"

"Yes, that is quite nice of you but um..." I couldn't think of how to say anything else. Also when I looked up she was gone. I hoped I wouldn't run into her for a while she talks way too much.

As I continued to walk, I saw many young colts and their parents. It was a strong reminder of my family. Before I could begin to think I started to make out a round building, carousel in shape.

'Oh no, stay away from that place.' I thought. I figured I would have to meet her sooner or later, but then was not the time.

Next was a market area, and an apple stand, the one I knew belonged to another of the six ponies. Sure enough standing behind the stall was an orange coated, blonde maned pony with a stetson. My stomach growled and her apples sure did look good.

"Would ya like t' buy some apples?" She asked as I made it to the stands' counter.

"Yeah, um... oh." I remembered, no money.

"Ah'll tell ya what. Ah'll give you two now and you pay me back." As she said this I perked up.

"Why, thank you miss. I will be sure to pay you back."

With apples in hat, I continued on. 'So nice of her. She reminds me of Robert "Tex" Jabara with that southern drawl and nice disposition.'

"Alright boys, let's go." I said. We had just gotten a message that enemy cargo ships had been spotted near the base.

"Yes sir." They responded in unison.

"'Tex', you ready man." "Tex" was always a good friend of mine and a loyal wingman. Although we always called him by the nickname "Tex" he wasn't born in Texas, he was born in southern Oklahoma.

"Ya know that Ah'm always ready for a fight."

"Then, let's go." We rushed off to our jets. After a few moments the battle was on. "Tex" was everywhere, helping out our squadmates mostly. In the air he was a terror to enemies, on the ground he was the nicest person I have ever known.

But no matter what, he helped me enforce the fact that we would respect the enemy and follow rules set by some of the best aces to come before us.

That got me thinking of the time "Tex" came to see my son. We had a great time. Speaking of my son, these ponies and their kids had strong bonds like me and my son.

"Daddy your home!" Yelled Jacob coming down the stairs. It had been about three months since the end of the skirmishes

"Hey there, how is my boy?" I asked. As I walked through the door with "Tex" right behind.

"I'm fine. I missed you." He noticed Rob behind me. "Hey Tex."

"Howdy bud."

About two hours later we were ready for dinner. It consisted of ham, cornbread, and Root Beer. Jessica sat to the right of me, my boy to my left, and "Tex" beside him.

"So dad, what happened?" My son was always a curious one.

"Well, there we were. Twenty against me and Tex. And-" I began in exagerration, but was cut off by "Tex."

"That aint what happened. Are ya crazy, trying to convince your son that you're cool like that?" He said jokingly.

"You know that I'm crazy. I spend time around you." I teased. I was grateful for the fact that my son was inbetween us or Rob would have punched me. He had a hard punch, even if he was just playfully doing so.

"Dad, when I grow up, I wanna be like you two." That statement filled me with both fear and pride in my son. The fear came from the fact that I didn't tell him about the deaths of some of my pilots and I didn't want him to end up like them. But that day showed just how much we shared.

I had finally figured out how to use these damn hooves for holding objects. Okay, I held my hat between two hooves and stuck it back on my head, which felt kind of weird.

It had been a few hours since I had arrived here, or was it a full day. God, being here was really screwing me up. I knew I couldn't hold off on meeting the other four ponies forever. And that is just what happened.

I was walking when out of nowhere a multicolored blur crashed into my side. "Oof. Ow son of a-" I looked up to see a mare with a rainbow mane and was cyan, I could tell it was Rainbow Dash, my son's favorite pony.

"Heh heh, sorry about that." She said apologetically. I was hurt but nothing I hadn't been through before.

"Don't worry about it." I responded. "What were you doing anyway?"

"I was practicing my tricks for the Wonderbolts."

"Excuse me?" I was sure I had heard of them before.

"You don't know who the Wonderbolts are?!" She asked shocked. "Only the coolest group in Equestria, only to get cooler when I join." I was thoroughly unimpressed by this ponies narcisistic attitude. Someone needed to show her that, she was not as amazing as she thinks.

"And you think that your the best around. Your a nugget compared to some of those I've seen." I pulled out something I hadn't used in a long time, the voice I only used to command and restore order. And that is when she got in my face.

"You are talking to the best flyer in Equestria here."

"I highly doubt your the best." I responded. "If you were the best wouldn't you be in the Wonderbolts. And if you don't get out of my face there will be trouble." I had been in a few fights in my time and that pony was nothing compared to some of the men I had fought. But I usually started because of them insulting me. One thing about me, I am pretty easy to piss off.

"Pft, I could take you." I decided to ignore that comment.

'Wait a second. Don't I have... oh yes I do, wings.' I thought. But how did they fly.

"Your Rainbow Dash, are you not?"

"Yes. Yes I am. Though, I don't recognize you. Have we met before?"

"No we haven't. I just um, heard about you from a friend." That was partially true, I did hear it from my son. "Shouldn't you get back to your practicing?" I wanted to do anything to end this conversation.

"Huh, oh right. Gotta bolt." And with that she sped off with a streak of rainbow trailing behind.

"And that is why I was the only one to fly a Russian jet." Finished Leonardo Lombardi. He was usually spouting off bullshit.

"Cut the crap Leo. You also almost crashed it." I said walking up to the crowd around Lombardi.

We knew each other from training. We were two of the best and were big rivals, both because of our attitudes toward how an ace should act and our abilities. Everybody often called him 'Falco' because, although he was a great pilot he was often a douschebag.

"It couldn't handle my amazing flying skills." I rolled my eyes at that comment, sure he was a great pilot but not as good as he thought. And to think there was a time I thought he was the better pilot.

"Oh I forgot, the enemy is so scared of you." I responded sarcastically.

"I know that I could take a whole squadron of theirs out by myself."

"Bullshi-" I was interrupted by a pair of PAK FA's dropping their bombs on one of the radar dishes. Also there were about fifteen MiG-29's providing escort. "Looks like you can prove it right here. Let's go, MOVE NOW!" I yelled as everybody rushed to their aircraft.

'I still need to find a job to get money, so I can pay Applejack back." I thought to myself, as I was trotting down the dirt "road", I don't think you could call it a road. What else is there to call it, a path? Anyway as soon as I thought about that I got an idea.

You see when I was human, after I came back from the war, I worked at a library. And so why not go to the library where Tara- I mean Twilight lives. I was sure she could use some extra help. I mean I was going to run into her sooner or later, so why not on my own terms.

So with a new plan, I rushed off to the tree/library to see if I could help out there for some money.

Final Note: Also sorry this doesn't have many flashback moments between James and his son, I just wanted to flush out some back-story. There will be more memories of him and his family, most importantly his son. Also if you want him to tell of his expiriences just tell me how you want me to do that.

The Vist

I continued up to the door and move a hoof up to knock. I stopped as I remembered that this was a public library, so I just opened the door and walked in. As I came in I was greeted by the purple librarian unicorn herself.

"Hello and welcome to Golden Oaks Library, how may I help you?" She sounded just like Tara Strong. I'm starting to sound like a dying record player.

"Yeah I was looking to see if there was anywhere I could help out and make some..." I paused, 'oh shit what was their currency called again. Oh that is right', "bits, so I could pay back a pony, who gave me some apples. And well I have had experiance in working at a library, so I thought this could be my first stop."

"Well, I have Spike and Owlicious to help me..." She trailed off, meanwhile my ears flattened against my head.

"Oh, I see, well it was worth a shot." I wasn't finished yet, I knew I could get her to help me out somehow. And I was right. "Well just to let you know, I'm new around here. I haven't got a place to go, but I can manage, I hope."

"I'm sure there is something I can find out for you to do." I knew she might soften up after the sob story, which was sadly true.

"Thank you so much." I was truely thankful, it wasn't like I wanted to sleep in a park on a bench or something like that.

"It's not a problem, really." She replied. "There is something I want you to do for me first."

"Sure, what is it ya want?"

"I want you to deliver this book to Rainbow Dash, I was just on my way to deliver it when you came in." She then noticed my look and added, "Do you know her?"

"I believe we have been acquainted before, yes."

"Well, I need you to take it to her cloud house, just outside of town."

"Alright, got it." And with that I trotted out the door.

On the way there the only pony I saw was a grey unicorn with a light blue mane. He looked at me before giving a nod and walking off. I thought it was strange but I was in a new land, so I shrugged it off and continued on.

It was near sundown when I finally found the home. It was pretty big for just a single pony. The thought of if one or more pony living in this house of clouds was interupted by a new thought: how the hell do I give her this book? I then remembered I had wings. This brought up the problem of me actually using them, as I had never flown without a plane before (but then again I never had wings before either).

"Well here goes nothin'." I said to myself before jumping into the air... only to promptly 'splat' on the ground.

"OW. Come on ya damn things." A few more tries, a few more hard landings. On about the fifteenth try I finally was able to at least hover several feet off the ground. With newfound confidence I start to fly up to the front door. But if you were to see me I would look about as graceful as an overwieght man running on a treadmill.

I proceeded to knock on the door, which was answered by a yawning cyan pony.

"Ms. Dash your friend wanted me to give this to you." I said as I handed, or is it hoofed, over the wrapped book to her.

Her mood took a complete 180 upon seeing the book and me with it. "It's you again?! And why would she give you this and not tell me to come get it? You better not tell any pony about this or I will-"

"Woah, it's okay I won't tell." I interupt her before she could finish her threat.

"Humph; okay, and thanks, I guess."

"Well I should, um leave now, soooo... goodbye." I say as I make my quick getaway. 'The farther away from her right now the better.' I thought to myself as I flew rather clusimly through the air.

When I arrived back at the tree-library combination the sun had gone all the way below the horizon and I knew the first thing I was gonna ask. "Where do I sleep, Ms. Sparkle?"

"Well, there is an extra bed, I believe it is down in the basement." She replied.

"I'll get it, I will be the one using it anyway." With that I headed down the stairs and found myself staring in awe at what I saw: there was a type of machine I had never seen before, it appeared to be more advanced than anything I have seen here. "Wow."

"You like it?" Came the voice behind me.

"Yeah, I haven't seen something like this before. It is very impressive."

"Well, thank you." She said followed by a yawn, "Well it's getting late."

"Your right. Goodnight Ms. Sparkle."

"Please, call me Twilight."

"Okay then, Twilight. Goodnight." And with that I got the bed in the main room and got settled in for a well-deserved rest.

The next morning I awoke well rested. I am not kidding that night I had gotten probably the best sleep I had in years. As soon as I had moved the bed out of the way I was startled by the door opening revealing the grey pony from the night before.

"Hello." I greeted. "How can I help?"

"Good morning, my name is Techno Watt. I'm just here to browse."

"Alright then. I don't believe Twilight Sparkle is up yet, but I don't think she will mind if you look around if I'm here."

After a few moments of him looking around I decided to get something off my chest. "Didn't I see you last night?"

"Right, now that you mention it you are the pony I saw last night. Once again I am Techno Watt."

"And I'm..." That's is when I knew for some reason I shouldn't use my real name. Thankfully at that moment Twilight decided to wake up.

"Oh, who is this and what is he here for?" She asked; she seemed concerned, but wether that was from having someone in her home this early or the fact she was not ready I still don't know.

"This is Techno he was just looking around to see what he could find." I replied quickly. I didn't want her to worry too much. "I already told him if he needed help to ask me."

"Oh, okay then. I'll be ready in a little bit." She then went back up the stairs to do, whatever it is ponies do in the morning to get ready for the day.

"Heh heh, is she your wife or something." He snickered.

"Ha ha ha, no I just work for her for right now. In fact I just got here yesterday." I couldn't help but get a little bit red, which I don't think was visible due to the fact of my already red coat.

"Weird, I just got here yesterday as well. And you were saying your name was what?"

"Just call me Snake." I said. Deciding on a variation on my old callsign. I couldn't help myself but to start to like this guy, for some reason he just gave off an air of happiness. "Well anyaway, did you see anything you liked?"

"No, but I want you to meet me at noon, at Sugar Cube Corner, I would like to talk some more. I think it was not coincidence that we arrived at the same time." Was he coming on to me. It would later turn out that he was right, this wasn't a coincidence, it was the begining of something new for me, something I hadn't had since before my world was turned upside-down.

A new friend.

To Know Techno

After Techno left and Twilight was back down from her room, the morning went fairly slowly. It was almost noon when a pony walked in, she was a red coated pegasus with navy blue mane and tail and had a nice color of brown eyes.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Twilight asked before I could start to ask myself.

"I just wanted to see what you have." She responded. She sounded a lot like Kei Nagase from Ace Combat.

"May I ask your name ma'am?" I added myself into this conversation.

"Windy Edge. I came here from Cloudsdale just the other day."

"Well that is strange, I just arrived here yesterday myself, as did a unicorn who came in earlier, anyway I'm Snake." After that she went right back to looking around. It was at this time I decided it was time to leave.

"Well," I turned to Twilight. "I should be off to get some lunch."

"Before you go I have this for you." And with that she levitated a few gold coins over to me. "For your help. And also thank you, I had some books I needed to read so-"

"I get it." I interrupted, not in an annoyed tone mind you. "It was my pleasure to help and thank you for letting me stay here, I just c-"

It was her turn to cut me off, "Don't you have somewhere to be?" She asked rhetorically, with a teasing grin, she had gotten used to me oddly quickly.

"Oh right, see ya later."

It was my idiotic idea to agree to the place known as Sugar Cube Corner. I should have known what was waiting for me there. Anyway I saw Techno waiting outside of the sugar shack. He was facing away and at an angle, which is when I got a look at the thing that looked painted on his flanks. They appeared to be bolts of electricity coming off a gear. He turned around as, apparently, I was being loud.

"Hello Snake. Where have you been?"

"I was hung up at the library." I replied walking up beside him, "So this is the place, huh."

"Yep; Sugar Cube Corner, I heard a lot about this place."

"Hey, I want to ask, what is that on your flanks?" I asked, failing to remember what it was called.

"What my Cutie Mark? What you don't know what it is? It signifies a ponies special talent."

I had to mentally berate myself for that stupid question. Now I just looked plain crazy.

"Snake, I noticed you don't have one." Tech added, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh, what? Oh; I, um... I don't? I..." It was at this time I decided to spill it, as I was backed into a proverbial corner. "Well, don't call think I'm crazy, please, but I am-" I was immediately cut off by ponies yelling 'surprise.' I swear I jumped up about five feet into the air. Immediately after I came back down to rest on my stomach, my vision was filled with pink, so much pink.

"Wowy, I have never seen a pony be so surprised!" the 'Pink Terror' said with a giggle. "The one before you two didn't jump up that high."

"Yeah, I didn't even know I could jump that high." I responded, still a little bit woozy from going up then falling down so hard. So it took me a little bit to process the last sentence. "Wait who was here before us?"

"That would be me." A familiar female voice called.

"Oh, Windy. How is it going. But, I thought you were at the library.” I then added under my breath. “Was I really lost for that long?”

“I left right after you did. Twilight said that I should come here. She came with me.” As if on cue the purple unicorn came up right behind her.

"So, Snake what took you so long?" Techno asked, questioningly.

"Oh, haha..." I put a hoof behind my head. "I kinda got lost." In hindsight lifting one hoof off the ground was a bad idea, for as soon as I realized I was standing on three legs I fell forward. "Ow."

I looked up to see Tech trying to withhold laughter. "Hehe, dude you okay? What happened?" He asked, as he helped me up.

"Yeah, guess I'm still a little woozy from earlier." I lied, shaking my head to get rid of the birds around me. I decided now was a good time change the subject. "Anyway, everybody gonna stand around gawking or are we gonna party?"

"Yeah! Let's party every pony!" 'The all crazy pink one' called out. At this the DJ, who I failed to notice, started up the music. I didn't have time to decipher what kind of music it was; as I spotted the orange equine I owed money.

"Howdy, Miss Applejack. I believe I owe you this." I greeted as I handed, er hoofed, her some bits.

"Thank ya kindly. This should be enough t' cover it." She smiled at me. "Ya were true to yer word. What is yer name?"

"I'm Snake ma'am. Sorry I didn't give you my name when we met, but I was new and I don't know anybody here."

"Don't worry 'bout it. Let's just enjoy the party."

"Yo, Snake over here!" Techno called from across the room. I noticed he was talking with Windy.

"Hey, Techno. How long have you two been talking?" I asked, as I made my way over to them.

"Since the party started. I can't believe that we all came into town yesterday. It's almost like fate has brought us together, ha ha." Tech said.

"Right, fate..." I trailed off. I started thinking about events since I got here, things seemed like they were falling into place to easily, things were going too smooth.

As the party went on I got to know more about my two new "friends." Techno was from a place called Canterlot, I remembered it being the capital city, and was born to two rich ponies. From what I gathered his father and mother were great scientists; his father worked in the medicinal field and his mother in some magic study. He also mentioned that he heard stories of the magic Twilight possessed and wanted to talk with her about learning more advanced spells.

"Why didn't you ask her when you came earlier?" I questioned. The look on his muzzle told why.

"I was a little scared. I mean, being in the same room as the mare who can take on a Ursa is kind of intimidating." He was nervous about asking someone, whom to him, may have been the equivalent of a pretty girl.

"Well, let me tell you she is a nice pony, there is no need to be afraid of her. I mean, she let me stay at her place. I need to get a place so she doesn't have to worry about me."

"Dude, you can hang at my place."

"Thanks Tech, you would do that?" I was kind of taken off guard by his enthusiasm to let me stay at his home.

"I have a lot of space. I think there is two bedrooms, so yeah."

"Okay. Oh wait," I turned to Windy. "You haven't told us about yourself Windy."

"Well, I came to Ponyville just to get away from the craziness in Manehatten." She seemed to be hiding something but I let it go because, as soon as I was about to question her, a yellow blur zipped past me. This spun me around a few times and as I came to a rest, once again, on my stomach my eyes spun around in their sockets.

"She sure was in a hurry." I said, struggling to my hooves. We were too far away from the two to hear what they were saying. After a few seconds they gathered the other four and rush out. Everyone stopped, unsure of what to do. "I guess this means the party is over. Let's go find out what it is they left in a hurry about."

"We should stay here, where it is safe." Tech said.

A grin formed across my face. "Whatever you wimp. Come on Windy let's go." I turned and trotted out with Edge not far behind. "3... 2... 1..."

"Hey wait up."

"I knew you'd come." I smugly told him.